On this episode, I am joined by Candice Diaz. Candice is the host of the podcast Finding Resilience Within. It is a podcast that doesn't shy away from hard topics and shares stories of finding resilience.
On this episode we discuss breast implants and breast implant illness. Breast implant illness isn't a medically recognized condition but many people find themselves getting sick with the same illness and finding themselves better once the implants are removed. Neither of us are medical professionals so we are sharing our personal experiences from our perspective.
Candice Diaz (@candicediazblog) • Instagram photos and videos
Candice & Kass (@finding.resilience.within) • Instagram photos and videos
HOME | For Love's Sake (forlovessake.org)
Filled Up Cup - Unconventional Self Care for Modern Women
Ashley (@filledupcup_) • Instagram photos and videos
On this episode, I am joined by Candice Diaz. Candice is the host of the podcast Finding Resilience Within. It is a podcast that doesn't shy away from hard topics and shares stories of finding resilience.
On this episode we discuss breast implants and breast implant illness. Breast implant illness isn't a medically recognized condition but many people find themselves getting sick with the same illness and finding themselves better once the implants are removed. Neither of us are medical professionals so we are sharing our personal experiences from our perspective.
Candice Diaz (@candicediazblog) • Instagram photos and videos
Candice & Kass (@finding.resilience.within) • Instagram photos and videos
HOME | For Love's Sake (forlovessake.org)
Filled Up Cup - Unconventional Self Care for Modern Women
Ashley (@filledupcup_) • Instagram photos and videos
Welcome to the Filled Up Cup podcast. We are a different kind of self care resource, one that has nothing to do with bubble baths and face masks, and everything to do with rediscovering yourself. We bring you real reviews, honest experiences, and unfiltered opinions that will make you laugh, cry, and most importantly, leave you with a filled up cup.
Ashley:I am so excited today. I have Candice Diaz joining me. Candice is the podcast host. Her podcast is Finding Resilience Within. Thank you so much for joining me today.
Candice:Yeah, thank you for having me.
Ashley:Candice and I are going to talk about breast implant illness and her personal journey with it. Just a little disclaimer that neither one of us are healthcare professionals, and this is basically just our shared experience. Can you tell me a little bit about what made you decide that you wanted implants?
Candice:Yeah, so I had always been self conscious of my smaller breast size all in like my young adulthood and then It was kind of random jumping from, being self conscious about it to actually going through with getting implants. My husband had been struggling with, a porn addiction, and it really made me obsessed over my looks and comparing myself to all those women. And so, through my trauma mindset and hurt, I was just like, I'm getting implants. And from the moment I was deciding, it was like, A month later, I actually was getting the surgery. So I didn't really think about, yeah, I wasn't really logically thinking. I was just like, I want them. I'm getting them.
Ashley:Was your husband on board, like bigger is better. Was there any aside from sort of comparing to others? Was there outside pushes or like a voice that was like, you should absolutely be considering this.
Candice:My husband never made me feel like. My body wasn't good enough. He was very supportive of my choice But he also I could tell felt bad like he didn't want me to go through with it and so I didn't really even tell anybody I was doing it So I had no other voices really like you should do it. You need it It was all just my own mindset and what I believed
Ashley:I guess every situation is totally different where sometimes it is somebody saying, Hey, bigger boobs are better. But I think a lot of the times it's coming within the things that we tell ourselves and think that they'll solve a problem. I'll suddenly become more confident. I'll look a certain way. People will treat me in certain ways, but I think that there's so much psychological things tied into it that way that as women, we put so much pressure on these two little bags to solve all of our problems.
Candice:It is crazy to me. It's like, we put all of our self worth and our value in our boobs. Like, that's crazy. Just the way society treats it and the way that I was raised, like, little things, even though someone didn't. Straight up say big boobs are better. That's what I internalized.
Ashley:I think the media and society really did kind of have that bigger is better. And for a long time, it was sort of romanticized as you know, your clothes fit better. Sort of the playboy or the bombshell people were sort of sold to us as this is the beauty standard, which I do like that. Now that we are having more of these conversations, and now that, I don't know, we can access more things on the internet, it's sort of nice that we are seeing more body types, that it isn't just a one mold. Yeah. When you got your breast implants, how was the after? Like, did you have any symptoms? Did you start to not feel good? Or was it you were happy with them after and everything was fine?
Candice:It's kind of like a mix of both because I had an interesting situation with my surgeon who put them in. I never tried anything on. I heard later that a lot of women will, like, be able to see the implants and, pick a size. He was just like, trust me, I know exactly what to do for your body type. And I told him, I don't want anything huge, I just want, like, natural. So he did put a size that was way bigger than I expected. So after the surgery, I was like, whoa, they're bigger than I was hoping. But I also was like, I love these. Right after that, it's like, this is what I've been dreaming of and hoping for. So I was kind of like clouded with that, excitement, but it was only like a month later that I started having complications with one of my implants getting harder. I messaged the surgeon. I was like, Hey, something seems wrong. And they totally dismissed it. They're like, it should be fine. It's only been a month, like it'll all work out. And so that was the main thing I had. And also I had. nerve damage, like my entire nipple and breast was numb. And that stayed the whole time I had them.
Ashley:That's so frustrating that you totally got written off. Just the medical gaslighting that can happen in these situations is just. So incredibly frustrating because any surgeon should know in any type of surgery the risk of Complications are there that it's like if I'm telling you something's wrong with my body at least bring me in for a check in Have more than just a dismissive conversation so after you kind of blew you off in your initial concerns? Did you eventually go to see him and have a checkup?
Candice:No, I never did because he was I went all the way to Texas to do it. So I didn't live there. So yeah, I just dismissed it myself. I'm like, it's probably fine. And then I also thought it would just get better because they told me that. And then all of a sudden years started going by like, it's not getting better.
Ashley:So other than a capsule constructure then, the scar tissue just adding up in the one, and then with the nerve pain, was there any other symptoms that you had other than those two?
Candice:Yeah, so, at first it was just those two, and I don't even know when it actually started of me having other symptoms, because, I also had a pregnancy while having them, and like, just getting older, it was like, what's just getting older and having kids, and what's, being caused by the implants, but now I realized I have such a long list of issues that came from implants, such as dizziness, brain fog just breast pain, I'm trying to remember all of them. I have like a whole list of them.
Ashley:It is really scary because when you really look at the list, a lot of the things I think We do as women that we're so conditioned to be like, we don't want to bother anybody. I'm sure it's all in my head that we do. We go, Oh, I'm just a woman. I'm sure that it's maybe my period or being pregnant. Everybody talks about pregnancy, brain and things like that. So it's like, I'm sure this is the brain fog and getting older. Oh, I'm stressed. I'm busy. It's all of these things that the frustrating thing about breast implant illness is that it isn't medically recognized. So it's like we are sold to look at all of these other options instead of the blaringly obvious one in our mind. Some of the symptoms for anybody who isn't aware it can cause heart palpitations, dizziness. It can cause early menopause, your hair goes gray, it can cause anxiety, depression, insomnia joint pain, respiratory issues. Cancers, it can cause really bad memory problem, concentration problem allergies to food, GI symptoms like rashes on your face. Headaches, hair loss, and when we talk about brain fog, like, I'm not sure if yours was this bad or not, but I literally felt like I had dementia, I would see like a pen, but I couldn't remember what the name of the pen or I know my respiratory issues got so bad that going from the bottom of my stairs to the stop top of my stairs, I almost felt like. There was an imaginary rope and I had to sort of envision myself like forcing myself up. And at that point, I was in my early to mid thirties, but it is kind of really frustrating that you feel almost like a senior citizen trapped in your body.
Candice:That's crazy. Mine did not get that bad yet because I just started having those symptoms early this year. So it was just starting and it was like, I would be talking to my kids and I would say the wrong words. And they'd be like, what? And I'm like, oh my gosh, I don't know what I'm saying. And that would scare me. And then like the fatigue, that's what made me, I'm like, am I just lazy now? But it was, obviously, I know it's from the implants. I was so tired and groggy. It's crazy that all this is caused just from the implants.
Ashley:Right. And your body literally rejects them. And a lot of the times too, I think something that people talk about is like, Oh, if you have them for a long time, but it's not really the case. You can almost immediately start getting symptoms, but not realize that that's actually what it is. How did you end up ever hearing about breast implant illness?
Candice:Yeah, so I, started debating on getting my implants out just because I found a lot of healing. And me and my husband went through a lot of healing and I was like, these don't feel like me. I want to get them out. And I was looking into it and then I realized like all the breast implant illness and all these accounts on social media came up and I was like, okay, now I want to get them out even more. This was like. Two or three years ago. So it took me a while to actually go through with the surgery, but that was my first time really hearing that it was common, like I knew you could get sick from them, but I also kind of dismissed it because just like the medical field, it's like they dismiss it so easily. So that's kind of what I did too. I'm like, it's rare, but it's not rare. It's actually way common.
Ashley:I had mine all in all for 12 years before I got them out. But when I first got my surgery and I Was basically just told about scar tissue. I wasn't told about breast implant illness or the cancers or anything. I was basically said scar tissue will happen Potentially in heart and your breasts, but even then like I think all of us get scar tissue from it So it's not really could happen. It does happen But I think that it would be so nice if it was more transparent of these are all the things potentially could happen. And then, like you said, even sometimes if we hear that something could happen, we kind of all have this like, oh, but it could happen to other people. It's definitely not going to happen to me. And it is hard because it's like we do get breast implants for a whole wide variety of reasons that it is kind of hard when it's something that you've wanted. And especially if you are really happy with that afterwards to have the reality of like. Okay, not only am I going to have another surgery, but the things that I wanted, I don't have anymore and kind of dealing with that. So I think it's really fair that it did take you a couple of years to make that decision because it's. In some ways it's easier to put them in. The surgery to get them out is much different. Now I know that you talked about how you went to Texas to get them in in the first place. Did you go to the same doctor for explant? Or how was it finding an explant doctor?
Candice:I definitely did not go to the same doctor. I actually made a Tik Tok of my story of how my surgeon didn't listen. And now I have issues and someone saw it and they actually work for an explant surgeon. So they reached out to me and were like, Hey, the surgeon I work for is amazing. And so I went to his page and I just Completely trusted them. He doesn't even do implants anymore. He only takes them out. And so, I wanted to make sure I went to someone who knew what they were doing, who believed in what women are saying, and who would get like, the whole capsule. Cause, you know, like, if any part is still in there, it can still cause a breast implant illness symptoms.
Ashley:Which, for people that aren't aware, Basically, the capsule is essentially the scar tissue that builds up around the implant and there are different surgeries. So like the explant would be just getting the implant out and then it would be a capsulectomy that takes everything out. And there isn't a lot of doctors that are skilled in explant because it is still a relatively new. Procedure that's going on and that a lot of the times if you go back to a surgeon and you're like I'm having issues with my implant, they try to talk you into taking those ones out and re implanting different ones in which I think that you're offering that option, but it should also be like, let's just take everything out. It's frustrating that it's not commonly both yet.
Candice:Yeah, and it's crazy to me that it's so common for surgeons to it. Like even make you feel like you're going to hate your body, and they're like, well, you're gonna regret getting them out. You might as well put a smaller size in or, you know, you're going to miss them. Like for a surgeon to say that it's just blows my mind.
Ashley:For a male surgeon to say that it's like, how do you know what a woman is going to feel like, Really kind of how dare you put so much emphasis on my chest that our life will be ruined if our boobs are a little bit more saggy or if I have a scar like it's not the end of the world. And like you said, for the most part, say your husband, he didn't care if they were big, he didn't care if they were small, but it's like, they're going to love you regardless. That it's unfortunate to kind of put those voices in people's heads that are maybe struggling with what their body looked like before, after, during any of it, instead of really focusing on health.
Candice:Yeah, and that was one reason why I took so long, because, I knew I didn't want them, one, for the health issues, and also, they were uncomfortable, I wanted to, take them off sometimes, you know, like, and I take these off and put them back on later, but besides all that. I was just so nervous about what I was going to look like, because everyone, I mean, even people I knew, they're like, well, you're so small, once they're out, they might be like, completely deflated and I was so nervous about that, that it took me so much longer.
Ashley:Once you had gone to the doctor that was referred to and had the explant, how was your explant surgery? Did you find that recovery was better than you had thought? Worse?
Candice:It's been better but definitely harder than getting the implants in. But it was so... Amazing, like a really good surprise because I actually had this scheduled for in May, my surgery, and I got cold feet and I canceled. I was like, I can't do it. I'm just so stressed out. And then just a couple months later, I was like, no, I need to do this. And so they fit me in someone canceled. And so by the time they called me and said, I can come in to having the surgery was two weeks. So I like quickly got ready and it was. So amazing. They were so nice and caring over there. And then so you get tubes. I didn't have tubes when I got them in. So that was a new experience for me. I'm only three weeks out post op and I feel so much better. And recovery is not as hard as they, a lot of people try to make you feel like it will be.
Ashley:I think it really depends. On the doctor and how skilled they are and really just how not what condition your health is in but really just how your immune system is going to handle it. So I think it's one of those things like if you had health problems or you just basically like I think so many factors, I think your age, I think your immunity, I think the skill of the surgeon of how really badly. Or good.
Candice:Yeah, that's definitely true,
Ashley:which is good that you're finding it that it isn't as bad, especially as a mom. It's so hard to not do all of the things that you need to do and actually like kind of sit back or in my experience, it was anyways, that it's hard to need help. I think afterwards.
Candice:Yeah. Cause like after you can't lift more than five pounds and then 10 pounds and right now I still have a hard time lifting my arms up. So yeah, it's tricky. Are you driving yet? Yeah. I am.
Ashley:See, I think that was for me. I didn't anticipate not having like this range of motion, although I had my implants out and I also had a lift at the same time and I got a little bit of like the side. boob area. Lipo. So all of that was a little bit more of the bruising and stuff. But yeah, driving was the thing that took me the longest because it was just awkward to move your body. The things that you don't necessarily think of.
Candice:Yeah, it's true. There's a lot of things I didn't even think about. Like, I don't know, even showering or putting my shirt over my head. I'm like, I can't do anything
Ashley:Oh, it's, I found the sports bras that had a zip up front was made like was a good as saving Grace A.
Candice:Long time. Yes. Just like you mentioned, like, I did not get a lift. So I think that's one thing that made my healing easier.
Ashley:But kind of like you, I was almost like flat as a board before I decided to have my surgery. And then I went up to a double D. So I think I had 650 cc's. And so, and then I had pregnancy and things like that too. So everything kind of shifted that I think for me, had I not had it, it would have made a big difference. But ultimately, my health had deteriorated so much that for me, whatever it looked like, it didn't matter just because my health had gotten so bad, but I know for a lot of people, and it's okay for people to still care what the size is or what it looks like or things like that too, and I guess as technology changes and as science goes forward, there is also for people that feel comfortable enough to get fat transfers if they wanted to, could look into that if they Did want to do a lift and change the shape. I guess it's nice that there are these options, but ultimately, I feel like we have to feel comfortable. And again, so much easier said than done, but it's like, we have to get to a point where we feel comfortable within ourselves, that our body. Doesn't hold the same amount of weight, which I think to some degree kind of gets easier as we get older, but then also doesn't as things change. So yeah, women, you just, it's complicated.
Candice:It is, but I like that you said that. Cause it's true. It's like, I did not get a lift because I want more kids and you can't breastfeed after. But in the future, like I might want. Fat grafting and a lift like to fix after two more kids
Ashley:Being post op, was there anything like we kind of talked about for me, I found it was a sports bras. Has there anything that's been really helpful product wise or helping your healing in the last couple of weeks?
Candice:I'm trying to think. I did a lot of like the ice packs and I ate a ton of pineapple and I think that helped with swelling and stuff. I also took a lot of vitamin C. Other than that, I haven't done much.
Ashley:I found for me to, you kind of see them with older people, but you know, those like a wedge pillows, because they know for me, I lay flat. Those were awesome because you don't really roll over on them. Whereas if you stack your pillows in the same way, potentially you can, and then those squishy ice packs were awesome.
Candice:Yeah, that's true. See, right now we have a bed that reclines, so it's been saving grace. When we were in Florida, because I went to Florida for the surgery I had to use 10 pillows to be comfortable.
Ashley:I think that's the hardest part is that we all have that position that we like to sleep in, or like, that you get in the habit of sleeping in, that I think it's more... Challenging the first weeks kind of to try to sleep upright and to try to sleep in a different position while also getting a good enough sleep that you feel rested and able to do all of the things that you need to do. Yeah. Have you found any of your symptoms have changed since your implants have come out?
Candice:I feel like it's hard to know exactly because I'm also, recovering from surgery, but I do notice that my brain fog isn't as bad. Like, after the surgery, I found out that it was ruptured. One of my implants was ruptured, and I had no idea. So it's interesting that things have gotten worse this year. But all of a sudden, my brain fog's getting better. One of my symptoms, I don't even know why, but my heart rate would jump up so high. From it'd be like 90 sitting down and I'd get up and it's like 130 and I found out that that's not normal and that's what was making me dizzy. So that has gone away a lot,
Ashley:which is amazing. Yeah. Well, and I think like talking about the ruptures really interesting too, because I think a lot of people, if you think of something rupturing your body, like a appendix, you would think that there's a lot of extreme pain and your body would sort of tell you it really isn't the case with an implant rupture. It could be ruptured for Significant period of time. You really wouldn't know that. I think for people that are considering it or have noticed an uptick in their symptoms, it's a good idea to try to get like an ultrasound or have a checkup on your implants because that's also not a thing that surgeons do. Once they're in and they have their few follow ups, that's kind of all said and done. Nobody really checks on them. They don't test them. There's no let's just make sure that they're all intact and that it is kind of scary because you would think if you're getting something that they would want to monitor it or yeah, he's do like annual checkups or semi annual. I don't know.
Candice:Yeah, it's true. And like for me, I'm like, I know I need to do that, but I don't know why I would feel silly, like, I don't want to go get an ultrasound on my implant, I don't know why, maybe because when I got them I was self conscious that I was getting them, but yeah, and it's also easy to forget, to like, do your checkup, I know, I have friends who have had their implants for like, 10, 15 years, and they've never checked them, so I'm like, Hopefully they're good.
Ashley:I think the one thing that we really don't think of, or if you're somebody considering getting implants, is that they aren't lifetime devices. And the doctors really don't know, like, should they be replaced after four years? Should they be replaced after seven? That it is something that if you are committing to implants, it really is that you might need two, three, four implant surgeries and switching them over in your lifetime. So it's kind of factoring in the cost. Like I, at 22, never ever thought about that when I had gotten them. That it is sort of something that I think a lot of people do need to realize that we can't necessarily have them in for 20, 30 years, which is kind of crazy to think of.
Candice:Yeah, that's something I wish people were talking about more when I got them because I did not think about I'm committing to A life of future surgeries as well. It was, in my mind, like, one and done. Maybe I need to do it one more time. When I'm older, and to refresh them. But that's all my mind was thinking. And, now, I guess they've come to find that after five years, is when most people get breast implant illness symptoms that are starting to get more severe. So I think they're even saying, like, surgeons are saying, like, in five years, To maybe replace them because now implants have a black box warning, which means they're like the worst thing you can put in your body. So I'm glad they're starting to recognize that. And now they're going to have to legally start telling women. And I don't know how many surgeons will because you know the money, but I'm glad it's starting to change. Me too,
Ashley:because I feel like for me, I don't judge anybody who chooses. To still get them, but I do wish that they were going in with as much information as possible. I really do think that people should know all of the risks and then be able to make an educated choice instead of it being like, Oh my gosh, you're going to look so great. And yeah, you might need another surgery instead of like three or four. And it's like the cost of them. When you think of all of it combined, like who has a hundred thousand dollars that they just want to dedicate to surgery. For your lifetime for one thing. Yeah. I don't know about you, it cost me just under 5, 000 to put mine in, and it cost me 15, 000 to get them out.
Candice:Dang. Mine was, so it was 11, 000 to put them in, and then since I didn't do a lift, it was 8, 000 to get them out.
Ashley:Yeah, it's so frustrating in a sense of like, it's such a big expense that it's frustrating or I find it frustrating that it's like, I didn't get this informed decision that I was able to know all of the things that I just maybe wouldn't have spent the money had I known that it's sort of hard to live with that cost for me personally, of just knowing all of the other things that I could have spent on it. But again, hindsight's 50 50, and I think sometimes when you get sick with something like this, it's hard to not hold onto that guilt, but at the end of the day, that doesn't serve us any purpose, but it has to become a lesson that maybe we can help other people.
Candice:Yeah, there was definitely the period of me just crying and feeling so, like, guilty. I've spent so much money just to be me. Like, in the end, I'm just gonna be me anyways. And I was really upset about it. But now I've gotten to the point where I've let that go. And I'm just glad because now I can be a voice to help other women. Absolutely. And I think I had to go through that to really get it out of my mind, honestly.
Ashley:Well, it is one of those things because then it is the flip side of it. It's the kind of always wanting it and always wondering. That it's like, at least we know when we have our journeys and everything that way, I think does have to become a lesson. Yeah. And I do really appreciate that we are talking about this more and more so that maybe we can help other women. So I really do appreciate that you're brave enough to share your story about it with us. Thank you. If you were going to give your pre surgery self advice or tell them something about this. What would you wish that you knew back?
Candice:First, I would definitely Reassure me that I'm my breast size doesn't determine my value back then. I just did not see past that. And that I could be happier just being myself. Back then I was so nervous about getting the hardness and a rupture, and I was reassured, like, those two things would never happen. My surgeon even said, those are so rare, it's not gonna happen. And both of those things happened. And so, just being able to tell myself, You're committing to maybe that is going to happen and you're going to have to be okay with fixing that when it does, or if it does so with the health and surgical sense, like, I would tell myself, you know, it's possible but mainly just help myself love who I was and, and see how beautiful I am, regardless of what my boobs look like. That's the main thing.
Ashley:I definitely agree with that. And I think that if you are considering surgery, like you had talked about, if any doctor in any case, whether it's breast implant illness or something else tells you like, oh, this 100 percent won't happen, please get a second opinion. If somebody is downplaying a risk to a surgery, that probably isn't the medical professional that you want to get involved in. Also question for that, it's like when you were trusting your body with any sort of medical professionals, make sure that they're listening to you and that you feel safe and secure and that you don't feel like you have to, I don't know, maybe not ask questions or maybe not speak up like you want a doctor that's a hundred percent going to listen to you. There's so much gaslighting and stuff with it. That that would be my urge. If you have a doctor like that run basically, or if any doctor tells you that breast implant. Are 100 percent safe. That's not the doctor for you.
Candice:I totally agree. My doctor I chose. He's like, he's a pretty famous surgeon and his wife is on a reality TV show of Dallas moms. I don't know. So I just trusted him because his credibility and When you're there, I mean, this might not be the case for everyone, but when I was there, they made it seem like just another like spa day. You're gonna be beautiful. You're never gonna have to wear a bra again. Just perky. And then the day of surgery, it's like spa music is playing. They downplay the entire situation of any bad things that could potentially happen. So yeah, I agree. It's like if they're only talking it up and just so focused on that, that yeah, run or get a second opinion.
Ashley:I appreciate you so much for having this conversation with me today. If anybody is looking for you online to connect with you, can you tell them where they can find you?
Candice:Yeah. So I'm on TikTok and Instagram at Candace Diaz blog. I've been showing my whole story of explanting. So check me out there. Awesome. Well, thank you so much. You're welcome.
Thank you so much for joining us today for this episode of the filled up cup podcast. Don't forget to hit subscribe and leave a review. If you like what you hear, you can also connect with us at filledupcup.Com. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll catch you in the next episode.