Parent Resource - Our girls + the beauty industry

Welcome to the first Parent resource episode so far! I do mention in the ep that for ease I use the word 'parent' but please know, however you are showing up for girls in your world you are welcome.

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Transcript

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This episode is a parent resource, so won't be relatable for younger listeners. Hi, my name is Pearl. At Stardust Squad, we respectfully acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we gather, create, explore, and dream, the Gunnaikurnai people. We pay our respects to their elders past and present and recognize their ongoing connection to the land, the seas, and the skies. We acknowledge that this land has been a place of learning and storytelling for thousands of years and honor the wisdom and stories of Indigenous people. As we continue on our Stardust adventures, we commit to building a sense of belonging. Welcoming and respect for all cultures, identities and beliefs. May we walk gently upon this land, guided by the styles and spirits of those who came before us. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. Stardust squad we shine so bright, twinkling in the sky at night. Hand in hand we laugh and play, dreaming big every day. Sparkle high and sparkle low, together we let our magic grow. Girls of strength, girls of light, Stardust squad we take flight. Clap once, clap twice, then spin around. In Stardust squad we're safe and sound, shining strong we lift each other. Sisters of stars like none other. Welcome to the status squad pod, a space in the galaxies to empower, inspire, and encourage girls and their families. I am a V I'm the creator of the status squad. And I believe now more than ever, we need to be empowering and supporting our girls of the future to have bold voices and big hearts. Today, I'm coming to you with a parent resource episode. This is our first parent resource episode. And they're going to be mixed in, in amongst all the other episodes that we're doing for the girls as well. I want to kick off by saying for the ease of things, I'm using the word parent, but of course you may be. Um, uh, Kara and auntie, uh, uncle. You may be a grandparent or a teacher, an educator, youth mentor. You get the picture. Just, um, yeah, it's used easy to use parent in this instant. So for this episode and all the other. Adult episodes. I'm going to use the word parent, but you know that, of course you are welcome. Whoever you are. And, um, however you are. Walking the world with girls. So today we're going to talk all about our girls and the beauty industry. I don't know. Um, if you like me have twins at home, those girls that are in the ages of nine to 12. Though I would argue it's more like eight to 12 now, but, uh, all of a sudden skincare and makeup. Just seems huge for our girls. I know that there was a lot of talk. Uh, In the middle of last year about girls. So young on like Tik TOK and things talking about their skincare routine. And I actually saw some amazing businesses. Uh, kind of educating others to say, my gosh, these girls are ruining their skin. They're damaging their skin because they're thinking that they need all these. Ingredients that are actually marketed at women in their late thirties and forties for anti-aging. And so. I just seems to be very. I don't know. In our face at the moment about skincare and makeup. And so of course, on the Christmas list this year for our Twain was skincare and a little bit of makeup. And so I wanted to talk to you about something that's on my mind about that at the moment, something that's. Buzzing away in my heart. To kind of, I guess, help you navigate it, see how you feel about it. These are obviously just my thoughts, how I'm feeling. How we're kind of starting to. Explore this area. So I would love to hear. What thoughts you have, how you're doing this. If you agree, disagree. I'd love to hear it all. So costs. Makeup and skincare. It can feel like harmless fun. A lot of us as adults use it. I know that it's a big one in our house because when I go to a wedding, I do, um, put on quite a bit of makeup. And for me, it's a real armor and it's a real, um, it's partly a respect thing. I F I want to look my best because it's, someone's special day, but also it's a mindset thing. I put it on and then I'm kind of in work mode. And then I feel like I have the power to get up and speak in front of 50, a hundred. 150, 200 people. Um, that's not to say that I couldn't do if I didn't have it, but it's part of now the ritual of me getting ready for weddings. Very much so. So my girls have seen me do that. And so. I guess to coming to this conversation. Not from a do, as I say, not as I do perspective, but more so having open conversations around it and modeling great behavior as well. Um, and of course the things that they've got for girls now, you know, the bright lip, glosses, glittery, eye shadows, fruity smelling lotions. What's not to love. But the thing is behind the shimmer and the sparkle is a powerful industry. That's designed to sell more than just beauty products. And most of the time it's selling an idea about who we are. And sometimes that idea can make us and our girls because of, you know, their. Um, developing brain, the vulnerability. It can make them feel less than enough. So. I wanted to talk to you about how we can help our daughters navigate makeup and skincare in a way that's empowering and positive and rooted in self confidence. So first. Let's have a look kind of at the bigger picture. The global beauty industry is worth. Over something like$500 billion. That's a lot of money being spent on products that promise to make us look better in inverted commerce. Whatever better is supposed to mean in the eyes of those people. Not to mention, of course. You know, That it's, it's just DASA in a soul journey. And. There's that whole culture about how women are supposed to look at us, supposed to show up. That's almost another whole issue, but you know that it's the under, there is a big underlying. Current of that. So from a young age, girls are told that their value is tied to how they look. You know, what yourself, how many ads or influences have you seen promising that a certain product will fix something? So, whether it's anti-aging creams or, you know, poor blurring, primers, or some kind of miracle moisturizer. The message. Is essentially the same. That the way you are right now is not enough. And of course the catchy is that the BD industry thrives on insecurity. If we all wake up tomorrow, feeling perfectly happy with how we looked. The beauty companies would lose billions. And I always think to myself, If I ever catch myself and because we're all human. If I ever had that. Uh, one of those moments where I catch myself thinking, oh, if only I looked like that bought that product. You know, Did my makeup like that, or my hair like that, maybe I would feel better. Be better, do better. You know, insert your option there. Uh, whenever I have those moments, I like to think to myself that these are predominantly middle-aged rich white men. Who are. You know, Who are Manning. And are at the head of these huge global corporations. And. Me feeling insecure about myself is paying for their next yacht or. Holiday home or whatever it may be. So I like to have a moment where I'm like, actually, you know what. I feel great. And. Your not going to tell me how I can and can't feel about myself. So. Obviously. To keep that ball rolling. They create products and marketing that target our insecurities. And for our young girls who are still building their self. Uh, steam. And I would argue we're in one of the hardest tumultuous. Homeowner homeowner field times ever. This can be such harmful, harmful messaging. So the key here, like I said earlier, isn't too. Make makeup or skincare, the villain. After all experimenting with makeup can be fun and it can be creative. It can be a way to express themselves, but it's about helping our girls see the full picture. We want them to understand that these products are a choice, not as a necessity. And they are already enough as they are. But this can be a fun creative outlet. So. Um, you might be wondering how do you start the conversation? How do you talk to our girls about things like this? How do we educate them about the beauty industry without taking away? The joy in front of maker. And I think it's always going to be. Um, Aye. Appropriate. Right. So if you, um, want to start with really young ones, Um, You know that, um, cute play makeup that they have. When they do their makeup and they come and ask you how it looks, just be really mindful of. What it is that you're saying. You know, I can see you've had so much fun with that, or, wow. You know, You look really different or that's a real creative. Take that you've done on there and just reminding them. You looked beautiful before. Before you put that on, you looked beautiful anyway, in my eyes, you always look beautiful. You're enough without that, but I can see you've had fun with that. Um, and then as they get a little bit older, I talking to them about, you know, Hey, you know, you. I don't need that, but I could see how you want to have that and talking to them too about, you know, like in our house, when it went on the Christmas list. Cool. So why is it like what's the intent behind it? Do you feel like you have to have it? Do you feel like you need it to fit in? Or is it more of a, this is something you'd like to experiment with, and this is something you would like to try. Because there's a big difference in that. Um, Always. Start with the fun side. So. Acknowledged that it can be a fun, creative outlet. It's a way to express themselves. Like I said, it's like dressing up. Let them explore colors and textures without attaching their self-worth to the results. That's a big one. Next, explain to them about how marketing works. Of course, obviously, like I said in, um, Age appropriate terms. But explain to them that big companies hire experts to sell products, but by making us feel like we need them. And so, for example, you could say. That ad that you just saw. You know, how does it make you feel? What did you notice in that ad? That ad actually wants us to believe that we need this cream. To be beautiful. And we could say isn't that really interesting that everyone already has beautiful skin. But they're making us believe otherwise. Um, and when you kind of shine the light on it like that, our girls are so intelligent. You know, if you can start that messaging gently, you know, without coming down on them. And I think like with anything, if you go too hard and you're too negative, they'll roll their eyes and you will push them towards it more. But if you can just openly. Start having that conversation and say, oh, isn't that crazy? You know? Then. They're smart, smart girls. They going to start to see what we want them to see. And there'll be a lot more. You know, Aware of what's going on. Talk about what makes them special. So while on one hand, they're doing these things. You know, That's fun. Still encouraged conversations about what makes them unique. Beyond their appearance. So ask questions. Like what's something that you love about yourself that has nothing to do with how you look. So by celebrating qualities like kindness, bravery, or creativity, you help them see that their value. Isn't skin deep. Teach critical thinking. So help your daughter learn to analyze ads and social media. There's so many social media accounts, um, that have, you know, like. They share a video of themselves. And then they kind of say that was actually edited. This is how I actually look. And you can see how I've edited this. And I think that that's so eyeopening. For our girls. What's your beauty, commercial together and ask, what do you think here? They're trying to tell us what are they trying to sell us? How does this make you feel? And this can help us spot manipulative messaging and build confidence in our own choices. And the last thing is I think empowering them to have knowledge around. Basic skincare. That can be really great because as they get older and they're, you know, hormones, uh, Going crazy as they do. And they might start to experience breakouts or some, you know, start experiencing pimples and things like that. That's going to make them self-conscious. So they're going to buy into those ideas that. They need that skincare. They need whatever is, you know, telling them they want to look like the woman that has no pause who has been photo-shopped. We all do. So. Empower them and help them teach them. About basic skincare, get them a good, um, facewash and a moisturizer and an SPF and teach them about cleaning their skin and how that's important. So, Because that is, they need to keep their skin clean and that is going to make a big difference in their self-esteem as they become teenagers. And so that way to your. You're letting them into that area, that world it's not seeming like the whole thing is so grown up and taboo. And, you know, they just want to get their hands on it because they feel like they can't. Do that with them. Go on that journey with them. And it's not just about the conversations. It's also about what we do as parents to empower our girls, to think critically about the beauty of the beauty culture. So as well as. You know, having those conversations, some. Simple actions that you can take. Modal self-acceptance. Let your daughter see you in embracing your natural self. If you do use makeup, frame it as something that you choose to do, not something that you have to do. Be mindful of the words that you use about yourself. Um, you know, don't spend. Ages looking at yourself in the mirror, analyzing your pores, your wrinkles, everything like that. And voicing all of that out loud. There's always going to be areas that we don't love about ourselves. But saying that out loud when you've got girls around. Is not helpful to them, but it's also not helpful to you. You know, the amount that we want to empower our girls, we should want that for ourselves as well. And so. Just be really mindful of your language around her. And the way that you are. Treating and loving yourself. If you wouldn't say it to her, don't say it to yourself. In front of her, but don't say it to yourself anyway. This can be a great chance for you to love on yourself while you're loving on her. And. If you've got ones that, um, are a bit older again, and they're on. Instagram or Tik TOK. Um, Just be mindful of what they're. What they're seeing. And what videos are popping up. And if you do see that they're seeing a lot of filtered kind of stuff, point out to them that it's filtered, but also for you reduce the time, spent scrolling through filtered Instagram photos, or ticked up trends, um, that promote unrealistic beauty standards. They're seeing what you're saying. They're always looking over your shoulder. And so just be really mindful of that as well. I hope this has been helpful. Thank you so much for listening. A reminder that if you go into any of the podcast episodes and you look up the top, there's a link for you to. Text through to the podcast hotline. Uh, get your girls to do that. I would love to hear from some girls about what they would like. To come to, you know, what they would like me to create what they've liked so far. Um, they can send through their celebrations, which I would love to hear. Um, And it would be amazing if you sent this episode to another family that has a starry at home. Get them onto the podcast as well. Subscribe. So then, you know, when a new episode is dropping and please, if you're on apple podcasts, leave us a review. It means that they will bump it up and more people will see us. And then we can empower even more girls, which is the dream. Thanks again. See you in the galaxies. Today's affirmation is I take care of my body and my body takes care of me. Stardust squad we shine so bright, twinkling in the sky at night. Hand in hand we laugh and play, dreaming big every day. Sparkle high and sparkle low, together we let our magic grow. Girls of strength, girls of light, Stardust squad we take flight. Clap once, clap twice, then spin around. In Stardust squad we're safe and sound, shining strong we lift each other. Sisters of stars like none other.