SpeakLifeAZ
The testimony of Jesus in, with, and through everyday people like us. A father and son who were addicts for over 20 yrs. You name it, WE DID IT, TOGETHER!!!! we used to use drugs together now we share about what God Has done for us to encourage the body of Christ and anyone else who may listen to this that is feeling hopeless and empty. LISTEN TO OUR STORY...and the testimony of others who feel led to share with you.... GOD BLESS YOU....TODAY WE CHOOSE TO SPEAK LIFE AZ!!!!!!!!!!
SpeakLifeAZ
Joshua R. Testimony
Have you ever wondered how personal stories of faith can transform lives and build strong communities? Join us on the SpeakLifeAZ Podcast as we sit down with Pastor Josh, who brings his profound insights on faith and personal growth. Through our candid conversation, we reflect on the powerful impact of sharing testimonies and the journey from childhood challenges to spiritual awakenings. You'll hear about the origins of our podcast during the uncertain times of the COVID-19 pandemic and how we've grown to focus on sharing real-life experiences and the presence of Jesus in our everyday lives.
Our latest episode takes you through a heartfelt exploration of overcoming family struggles with addiction and the road to recovery, resilience, and healing. Together, we share personal tales of childhood upheavals and the transformative effect of forgiveness and mentorship. Pastor Josh opens up about his own spiritual journey, highlighting the guidance of mentors and the importance of servant leadership and community support. Witness firsthand the journey from chaos to stability, and how these experiences have shaped us into the people we are today.
Marriage, love, and the art of selflessness become central themes, as we discuss how life's challenges have refined our characters and strengthened our resolve. Through stories of divine intervention, songwriting, and the power of prayer, we celebrate the healing aspects of faith and the blessings of committed relationships. As we wrap up, we extend heartfelt prayers and dreams of future growth for our community and invite you to share in this journey of faith, love, and resilience with us.
all right, everybody. Welcome back to the speak life az podcast testimony of jesus and everyday people. I'm your host, eddie, and always with me is my son Rowdy.
Speaker 2:Jesus, how's it going, buddy? Oh man, it was a great day dude, I loved myself today, nice. Yeah, bro, I went for a little run, jog, walk thing man, sometimes I was running, sometimes I was walking, sometimes I was jogging, but I was outside and I was doing it bro. Takes time to build up that stamina.
Speaker 2:Well, it's even more than that dad, go out your first day and run a marathon but you know, man, the battles I've been fighting with myself, dude, and just prioritizing the things that are healthy and good for me for new habits, bro. So it's just good, I'll be consistent in it. Yeah, that's it, right there did you do any push-ups?
Speaker 1:I did really I did how many? Yes, well, that doesn't matter, but you did them, did it like three or four times a day come on, buddy, I'm getting better man.
Speaker 2:So that's really what it is. Your mind just said do some push-ups and you hop in being obedient.
Speaker 1:Come on, I believe to me. I believe that's the spirit of god telling me hey, man, take care of that temple. Come on, man, you can either ignore it and go about doing your thing, or you? Can. It's funny because there was a customer in the office and I was right there by the window and god told me to do some push-ups. I dropped down and my co-worker was, like customer's watching you. I don't care.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm doing some push-ups.
Speaker 4:You know what I mean yeah good, yeah, I'm excited about this one bro, yeah, this is gonna be great bro, who'd you bring with you, man.
Speaker 2:We got our friend, our brother man, pastor josh. What's up, dude?
Speaker 3:what's up y up y'all how you guys doing, how you doing brother. I'm doing so good, amen. I'm so happy to be here, honored to be here, blessed to be here. Thanks, man. And I love both of y'all.
Speaker 2:Man, I'm all giddy bro. This is weird.
Speaker 1:I'm all like, yay, this is great, since we started doing video. Come on, so, man, I mean we honor you each and every week anyways, because your pastor, josh, does.
Speaker 1:But just thank you, dude, it's, it's uh, you know it's an honor to sit down with god's kids and capture their story, um, because we know what encourages people's faith, that stirs their hope and, uh, help people get to know you a little better. People that might not be have the opportunity to come and engage in conversation. Now, when they see you, they'll, they'll kind of know you a little bit you know that's great, so it's pretty cool bro I love that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you guys convinced me to do something that I don't like to do, and let's talk about myself so this is gonna be great, but the
Speaker 2:end game is glorifying. So for for me, friend, um, uh, like dad said, when anybody that we're doing life with says yes and is willing to come on not that we need the validation or the support, but it's almost like a belief or a buy, and it's like dude, I want to be a part of this man, and even more than that. This is literally something you just said. This isn't something that you do a lot. A lot of times, people, um, um and it's not just people that know god, man, we don't really our our stuff and our life, that life, man, life, life is life, bro, and it takes its toll sometimes, man and um, I don't know about yourself, but for me, a lot of my choices I made back in the day were things that I was taking to my grave, things I was. Nobody was going to know about these things, but those are the very things that I had to get out in a safe place with people that I could trust, man.
Speaker 2:But for us, man, Pastor Josh, this is just. It's an honor to host you, man, to have you on. I'm excited for what God's going to do with this, because there's people already that are connecting through these things here. They're like dude, I heard you, I heard you. It's like wow, so God's really strengthening, and that's why I was telling Dave Alley man, if this is to strengthen lifelinkers and to bring us closer together and in relationship with each other, to find similarities and realize, wow, we really are more like each other than we think, and praise God, man, come on. But so have you ever listened to these, have you?
Speaker 4:ever listened to one.
Speaker 2:For sure. Okay, all right, we don't need to make you repent? Pastor Sheree, man, she's a blessing. So you know, man, we just want to know who Josh Russell is. When God gave us this thing the Speak Life AZ podcast, it was during COVID, when it seemed like he gave everybody podcasts, but we didn't start doing what God told us to do right away.
Speaker 1:We took it and we were running away, we twisted it and made it our own.
Speaker 2:We're going to do a studio in my bedroom and preaching videos, and that's not what God said, man. We did running away, we made it our own. We were going to do a studio in my bedroom and preaching videos, and that's not what God said, man. We did two videos. We were like what are you doing? What are you doing, dude?
Speaker 2:But when we did what he told us to do and we were obedient to the vision he gave us, which is a Speak Life AZ podcast, the testimony of Jesus in everyday people, it just started to, and because we're all everyday people, um, it just started to. And and because we're all everyday people, it don't matter if you're like dad and you're cutting on cars and welding and, uh, doing what you're doing, or like myself, man and facilities and maintenance are like yourself, actually pastoring a ministry and and pastoring people in life. We are all everyday people. We've all got a story, man. We've all come. All come from somewhere, um, so we just want to know who pastor josh is, um, where, where you were born? Um, brothers and sisters, what was school like? Um sports? Um, you know, man, me and dad were in celebrate recovery ministry.
Speaker 2:A lot of the, the hurts, the habits, the hang-ups and stuff later in life, that kind of throw us off course. Those things they happen earlier in life, in childhood traumas and stuff. Man, being a kid is not easy and so if you want to get any of that, let the Holy Spirit lead you. But I think the coolest thing we want to capture today is your encounter with Jesus. Today is your encounter with jesus when you knew that it was, that he was your god, that he was so real to you. Yeah, because we've we're. This is god. I think 74, 73 I don't know how many of these things we've done, but we notice there's a couple different ways that god gets us in our encounters and it's like through these period of of different encounters, a period of time, or it can be the one day, the one thing where you're like, whoa, god is real.
Speaker 1:Some people have a burning bush moment. Some people have this progression of God revealing themselves to them over time.
Speaker 2:You know what I?
Speaker 1:mean. So it's pretty interesting.
Speaker 2:And then, like Dad always says, man, the evidence of a real encounter with the living God is life change, transformation, transformation, that's how, when our choices actually start to change man, through the power of the Holy Spirit and Him helping us. We want to know how your life changed, man, because I know well doing what you're doing. I'm excited to just kind of hear your perspective in things, but then, at the end end, you got a long life ahead of you, you're. You've got a lot more coming, man. So what, what we want to know, what you're hoping for? We want to know what you're expecting god for. We want to know what you're believing him for, um, in ministry, um, with your family, man, oh, just in life, in business, I mean, there's things that God has put inside of you that we want to pray at the end, but our listeners, our listeners, come and they pray for you, man. So yeah, dude, this is going to be great.
Speaker 1:I love it. Pray for us, man. You want to pray?
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's start doing that. First man, jesus, holy Spirit man. First man, jesus, holy Spirit man. Oh man. Thank you Lord, thank you God, Thank you Lord, thank you for what you're getting ready to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, jesus, I pray, holy Spirit, that you just fill my brother right now, from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. I pray you control his tongue and use his words. God, fill him with a fire that people will know that you are real and that you love us, and that you see us and you are with us. God, I pray that you loosen the prophetic realm through this testimony so that other people can know wow, if God can do that with that young man when he started it, then he can do that for my son. So, lord, I thank you that there's young ones coming into faith tonight, god, because they're going to hear this testimony. Um, I just pray for your son, josh, and just for, uh, any, any walls, any guardedness, anything like that. I just pray for vulnerability and an openness lord, just a real, genuine story, um, for what you've done in his life.
Speaker 1:I ask this in jesus name, amen, amen so what was it like growing up, josh man?
Speaker 3:oh man um yeah, because you weren't always pastor josh um, yeah so um, I was born in dallas, texas, and um, my mom and my dad, um, they both grew up in Texas and I was born. They got married in the 80s. They had me in 1990. And for the first you know year of my life, you know was probably great.
Speaker 2:Don't remember when you were a baby? Yeah, no, I don't remember mine. Yeah, yeah, but my mom didn't work. She was. When you were a baby yeah, no, I don't remember mine?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, but my mom didn't work. She was, you know, at home. My dad worked. He was an electrician is an electrician. And then my brother was born when I was 15 months old. Oh wow. So then, when my brother was six weeks old and I was 15 months old, my mom found out that my dad had actually been cheating on her with her best friend.
Speaker 2:Oh man yeah.
Speaker 3:And then, right in the middle of all that she found out, they went to their pastor and basically the pastor said to them, or said to him my dad said like hey, you know, you quoted Joshua at him and he's like hey, you know, you know, you quoted Joshua at him. And he's like hey, you know, you need to choose today who you're going to serve. And my dad was like I'm done, and so left my mom, left me, left my brother, and so really pretty much my entire life kind of got, was thrown into chaos and kind of broken, broken home, brokenness and everything Um and so my mom, you know, again, like I said, wasn't working?
Speaker 2:was, you know, planning on being a? You know, stay at home mom Taking care of?
Speaker 3:the kids, yeah, all that stuff, um, and. But here's what I love about my mom my mom is super resourceful and really, um, really strong, and so I'm I'm sure at that time she was broken and there was heartbreak, and but at the same time she was like okay, I have two kids who are under the age of two who need me to now take care of them, and so, you know, got a job started working um.
Speaker 3:Praise god for um help and grandparents family my grandparents are some of the most amazing people in the whole world. I'll have lots to share about them in a little bit. My grandparents really helped my mom during that season as well, really loved on her, really helped make sure we were taken care of, stayed with them for a little bit, all that stuff. And so that was for the first couple years of our life in Texas. I literally have no memory of being in Texas. I have one memory of being in like preschool class and like I remember a window, and that's it.
Speaker 2:Okay, no, yeah, that's real. Yeah, I was going to ask are you like a sports fan? You weren't even into that. Well, I did. You're not a Cowboys fan, dude, I'm like a lowercase.
Speaker 3:C Cowboys fan.
Speaker 2:If my team ain't doing so good, I'll root for them. No, I do. I love sports.
Speaker 3:But I'll share more about.
Speaker 2:So it's just you and your bro.
Speaker 3:Yeah, me and my brother and my mom and then my grandparents. So then my grandparents who they went to a Bible college in Dallas, texas. It's called Christ for the Nations. So they got ordained there and all that stuff, and my grandpa knew he was supposed to do ministry. My grandma felt that call too. What's funny, my grandma actually grew up Baptist her entire life, wow, and so never had any experience of, you know, gift of tongues or any of that kind of stuff growing up.
Speaker 3:And my grandpa was the one who actually invited her to go to a church when they were first getting together, and that's when she got really exposed to the gift of the holy spirit and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:I have to ask just to make sure you're talking about diane and howard brooks right okay, my grandparents diane and howard brooks when I, when I first came to this church, your grandpa, bro, man, dude, he'd give me the biggest hugs, bro, and I was like this guy doesn't even know me, bro, but he's just like enveloped me, dude. I was like man, yeah, so that he had an impact on. We didn't really talk a lot, bro, but his dog, his, I loved his hugs.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he was. He was a really great guy.
Speaker 2:Um really showed up for my brother and I a lot and was really the only father figure we had, you know, all the way up until we were in high school what a good example to have for you, though, yeah, yeah, and so just again, let me, let me ask you this, bro, because, knowing you're with your mom, your bro, grandparents are taking care of you, but you're in school and you're seeing other kids with mom and dad and, hey, my dad did it, did that mess with you as a kid, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:So I'll kind of show you how I got to there at that point, so, um, so my grandparents at that point, um, they got an opportunity to, um be pastors of a church in new mexico oh wow in roswell new mexico
Speaker 3:the wilderness season, so my mom went with them. She's like all right, I guess we're going to new mexico you know, found a job there, all that stuff, um little tiny snapshot memories of new mexico, um that, I have, nothing more than that. But um, so they went to be pastors there for a year. So only they only were there for a year. Okay, so how that church worked is they got to vote in their pastors so um, this is my grandma's version.
Speaker 3:But she said, you know, after a year of you know my grandpa preaching the truth and telling them what was actually in the bible they're like we don't want this, we're good, we're good, and so we want our ears tickled so vote, you know, voted him out, um, but again here's. Here's how god works and all this. So this is so cool. So then from there, my grandparents had some friends that said, hey, you know, we're going to be a part of this new ministry in arizona yeah and so my grandparents, like okay, prayed about it.
Speaker 3:felt like okay, prayed about it, felt like God said hey, move to Arizona.
Speaker 4:They moved to.
Speaker 3:Arizona. We came right on with them. And so we lived in Ahwatukee, if you know, if you're an Arizona listener, you know where Ahwatukee is and this massive apartment complex for a little bit, until my mom could get on her feet and get her own place.
Speaker 2:How old are you at this point? I'm five years old at this point I'm five years old.
Speaker 3:Okay, at this point yeah, come here when I'm five years old, um, and so your family comes here for god to serve god, exactly, wow so, from what I remember hearing in the story that my grandma would tell, as she was mentioning, that that didn't exactly pan out how they thought, which is okay, because then you know, my grandma found a great job here, my grandpa got a job here. Yeah, my mom found a great job as well. Like I said, my mom's very resilient, resourceful, all that stuff. So you know she was like okay, I'm going to take whatever job I can get and I'm going to climb the highest point I can get and do whatever I can to make sure my boys are taken care of.
Speaker 3:So then, at that point we're living in Ahwatukee. We then moved to a place called Off-Broadway Apartments in Mesa.
Speaker 1:I know where that's at. Yeah, yeah, I know where that's at. Yeah, I drive by it.
Speaker 4:I think I used to sell dope in those apartments bro oh man.
Speaker 3:Jesus.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So, for those who are familiar with broadway and mesa, that's country club and broadway yeah, yeah, right there, bro, my dad lived.
Speaker 2:I think I got arrested outside those apartments. Come a long way, buddy that's downtown mesa.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. So then, um, I have no idea how they swung this or whatever, but then they found like a christian private school for my brother and I to go to. It was called river of life, I think it was called River of Life, and it was in somewhere in Phoenix. So we went there. And from kindergarten all the way up until I was going into third grade.
Speaker 2:Was that grandma? Was that grandma and grandpa? Yeah, wanting you, hey, rather than public school, let's try to get them into. It wasn't?
Speaker 3:necessarily anything like that. It was in public school, let's try to get them into. It wasn't necessarily anything like that. It was just hey, here's a, we have an opportunity, and it's christian, educate okay, yeah, but here's the downside. So the downside to that was that was a very learn like teach yourself type of school which does not, or at least at that time did not, mesh well with my development.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:So after a couple of years there, um, I remember my mom had a meeting and we did some assessments and going, um, she got a job then in Tucson. So her company, she got this job in Tucson. Um, like I said, she's resourceful.
Speaker 2:Resourceful is like hey move, here's another opportunity to increase my financial.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because at the time my dad really wasn't helping us child support um, now this was back in, like you know, mid to late 90s, so, but you know he was making however much he was making, but only giving her like 200 a month like in child support was okay.
Speaker 2:So with me, yeah, I lived with my father and he's my stepdad. I lived with robert and when they separated and divorced or whatever and mom was gone, it was like mom was just gone. I wasn't getting mail or calls, or you know what I mean. Did was dad and did.
Speaker 3:Were you getting visits or calls or no visits okay um calls like on my birthday, christmas stuff like that, um, and so again, I wasn't really again, maybe it was just you know, god's grace or whatever, but never really thought of it like I was just used to that life you know it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is when we were so young when it happened. It was kind of just, I'm just used to, it's all my dad will send me random letters and all that kind of stuff, you know. So that aspect was just normal. Yeah, so it was just normal, and it's different when it happens later, like when you're a little more older. Five six seven, eight.
Speaker 3:Then there's that trauma that comes, yeah, yeah so then we're in tucson, um, I'm there, I'm in third grade and third grade, so I get held back in third grade oh, okay and that's the first time where I feel, oh, okay, something's wrong with me.
Speaker 3:I'm not smart, oh wow and I felt like, oh, I feel stupid, oh, wow, and all my friends that didn't get held back are looking at me going. Why did you get held back? And so that was one of the first moments where I felt really insecure about like, wow, like whoa I'm. I struggled with school and I don't like school yeah, when it comes to academics and stuff and kids are rough. Yeah, kids are mean absolutely every you know name you can call it Got all that.
Speaker 3:And so that was really when I first started realizing like hey, I'm not like everyone else, Like in that way.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And felt real insecure with that. And so then we're in Tucson for a year and a half and then we move again, and then we moved to Scottsdale.
Speaker 2:I just have to say something right now? Sure, because, brother, I have seen some of the messages you have created with Holy Spirit and man. You are an intelligent man of God that is full of wisdom and able to lead his family, and you hear God. You have everything you need, my friend. There is nothing wrong with you, bro, you ain't lacking nothing. That was the enemy trying to tell you that stuff he knew what was coming.
Speaker 4:You know what I mean. He tried to get you early brother.
Speaker 1:I appreciate that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and so moved from Tucson, moved to Scottsdale At that point and probably still is Scottsdale's real bougie.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:And my brother and I and my mom were not. We were not living that life.
Speaker 2:So you know we went to pay less and we got all the you know walmart clothes. I definitely do nothing wrong with any of that stuff, but you know it.
Speaker 3:Just you know when you look at what other kids were wearing. Yeah, the labels and the high-end stuff, stuff, yeah, we definitely stood out in the way you don't want to stand out um, but here's where kind of a lot of this stuff with my dad started to kind of come online with me. I remember, um, I was at a friend matthew my friend matthew's birthday party and really nice house is, you know, his dad was there and a bunch of my friends were there and their dads were there and I realized that my dad wasn't there and I remember having the thought of why is my dad not in my life?
Speaker 3:And just like it, just it finally clicked.
Speaker 4:Like.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'm really different from the majority of the people I see.
Speaker 2:How old were you at this point? You said I was in fourth grade. I think I was eight.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, eight or either eight or nine, yeah, um. So then, what was so interesting is that same. I believe it was that summer um, we actually went to um I could be getting years mixed up, but I think we actually went and visited um my dad, um over this over in dallas over, was he still in texas? Yeah, he was in mesquite texas at the time, and so at this point he married my mom's best friend. Oh wow, um that he cheated on her with, had two other sons oh wow, dude she had a son from a previous relationship.
Speaker 3:So I'm coming into this house where you know and I'm not thinking this then yeah, you're a lot different as a little kid man. But you know, I'm coming into this environment where I don't really know this person. I'm staying with.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You know either them, my dad, or you know his new wife. I don't know my. You know stepbrother.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I don't know my two half brothers very well, and so it was like one of my least favorite summers, you know, probably uncomfortable.
Speaker 3:Yeah, thankfully my yeah, yeah, my brother jeremy, though, was there. I do have a brother his name's jeremy. He's an amazing love you, jeremy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, need to have you on buddy he has a great testimony too but he needs a real haircut they're talking about this, bro.
Speaker 3:I'm talking about these college cuts you keep complaining about my brother's a barber but, um, anyway, so we're there and it's just kind of like okay, cool, you know, like, and so again those little things that you look back on and where the enemy just ran wild with. So again it, even though dallas um airport, what, whatever it's called, dallas fort worth yeah, dallas fort worth airport was closer to his house. To save money, he had us dropped off at aust the airport in austin texas, which was like a three hour drive holy crap so he came and picked us up and took it, and so it's like this again like not a big deal.
Speaker 3:You want to save money, you want to be savvy, that's fine but you know it's again showing like, hey, what can I, what's the least I can do to have them come out. So again, you know I'm not.
Speaker 1:Did you feel that then?
Speaker 3:no, but again it's those little things. You look back when you start to get when I start to get to high school and I look back and have that anger and resentment start to build up of yeah you look back on all these little things.
Speaker 1:So my understanding, nobody wants to fly into dallas.
Speaker 3:Ford worth anyways it's a horrible airport, from what I hear I mean so then. So anyway, it's a whole summer there. I get back, and that summer, um, it's after four how long of that summer did you spend there?
Speaker 1:Yeah, how long, like a month or a few weeks.
Speaker 3:I think, it was probably like three weeks four weeks.
Speaker 1:maybe Did you and your other brothers make any kind of connection at all. As much as you can for elementary age, okay.
Speaker 3:I think one of them was three.
Speaker 1:They were younger than you guys. Yeah, okay, a couple years younger than us Did.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, okay, all right, a couple years you were in this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, did you have a because you were the oldest? Yeah, did you have this feeling even then, as you gave up on us? But now you've got them.
Speaker 4:Yep.
Speaker 2:I did too man dude.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and so there was those little things of like you know, and then he would, you know, write letters on our birthday and send us pictures of him, and his family, oh geez wow I'm laughing about it, but you know, it's just. It's one of those things where it's just like I don't know what he was thinking or processing. That it's you know. So again, I'm growing up with all that. So after fourth grade, we move, again we moved I moved, you moved I moved a year and a half.
Speaker 3:A year and a half every year and a half or every two years until I was in junior high Did that mess with you For sure.
Speaker 1:No stability, no getting close to anybody, friends, it was super easy for me to make acquaintances.
Speaker 2:Very difficult to have real friendships. Wow, that's really good yeah.
Speaker 3:Because I just figured I'm like I'm'm probably gonna move again.
Speaker 1:So why? Why get close to people? We do the same thing with our kids I'm sure that's a.
Speaker 3:It's an easy coping mechanism for people. But so I'm now in starting fifth grade and I'm in mesa, arizona again, um, but this time my mom's doing phenomenal. She's a vp of a hiring company with that her best friend started her, and her best friend started this company. It's going well, she has money, she bought a house, she bought a new, you know, jeep grand cherokee, um, so it's just it.
Speaker 3:We're starting to feel like whoa, like our life is starting to yeah, you know, we have a little more stability, we have a little more financial increase like okay, you know and this this whole time you guys are going to church yeah, oh yeah. So I grew up in church um the whole you know, my whole life were you born under pew? No, not quite, um, but yeah, we were going to um. Our major church we went to um throughout my childhood was a church called Word of Grace.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 3:It's now.
Speaker 4:In Mesa yeah.
Speaker 3:I think it's Dream. No, that's not.
Speaker 1:Dream. It went to Dream Center, then it went back to I think it's back to Word of Grace. To be honest with you, it's something like that.
Speaker 4:Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3:But anyway it was like the biggest church City of Grace.
Speaker 4:City, city of.
Speaker 2:Grace. City of Grace. Thank you. Well, mesa is a very Mormonism. They've got temples everywhere and Mesa is predominantly it's the Mormon capital. They only have one temple and a bunch of synagogues and these little wards everywhere.
Speaker 4:They've got a million wards.
Speaker 1:Every neighborhood in Mesa has a ward.
Speaker 2:So you went to the, so I went to Word of Grace.
Speaker 3:Great, you know, fun kids, ministry, all that stuff. So I was used to that. And then when we lived in Scottsdale we went to the Dream Center, or Dream Center, what was it called? Phoenix First is what it was called then, which was again great.
Speaker 1:It was a God church, yeah.
Speaker 3:So it was in Scottsdale when I really started to feel God for the first time.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like where it was, like hey, this is like real. I'm experiencing God. Um. I remember one service there, um I experienced this um lady who was deaf, who in that service got healed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man.
Speaker 3:And I'm, and I remember I'm in fourth grade and I'm like, oh, my gosh, god healed somebody who was deaf and I remember having that thought, yeah. Wow.
Speaker 2:Like.
Speaker 3:God like and we always would sing. This song Probably just came out then, or you know, it's a church world, so it could have came out years ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:It felt new, but it was all things are possible oh yeah.
Speaker 3:And they would sing that all the time and it was like that realization of like whoa, like God can really do anything. So it was in that church where I really had one of my first God moments. I remember I was just in service it was just a normal service that they had for kids and I just felt something shift and felt something different. And I remember we went back to our apartments and we this little kind of cove like, where there was a field and there was rocks that you can kind of sit on. I remember I just sat by myself and it was the first moment when I said you know what, god, I think you're real and I want to give my life to you. And I don't know what that looks like, but I just I know what I felt in that service and I want to just give my life to you. Come on, and again no one was around me. No one was there to help me do any kind of prayer.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it was that first I.
Speaker 3:It's that first moment I can close my eyes and see where I was sitting where I felt like god, I know you're real and whatever this is I want this. And so, yeah, it was one of those moments. I wasn't expecting to cry.
Speaker 2:Yeah bro, we never know what we're going to get on these things man.
Speaker 3:It's just real, it's raw, bro, and then so it was that moment where I was like okay, this is again starting to feel that shift right. So we moved to Mesa and then I feel like that is where it was like one of my seasons that I remember the most. Sorry, I know, this is probably going to sound all muffled.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh, you're good man. This is like where I have like probably start getting like the most memories of my life. Everything's pretty, you know, spotty and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:at that point A lot of moving around man.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, for sure. So mesa happens. We're in this house. Love the neighborhood friends. Where at um it was dobson ranch oh wow, yeah, right next literally right here, dobson high school.
Speaker 2:My uncle used to live right there yeah, beautiful neighborhood still is. Yeah, you know, if you drive through it. Yeah, that's a really nice neighborhood for you. So are you living with your grandparents and your brother and your mom, or just you?
Speaker 1:and your mom? No, it's my mom. Mom's got her own place.
Speaker 3:Come on, Mama. So here's how long ago it was. She got the house for $133,000.
Speaker 2:That was a while ago, man. That's a down payment these days.
Speaker 1:Jesus.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's a down payment these days, jesus. Yeah, so wow, so we're okay. Um nice backyard, like all these fun things that I'm just like.
Speaker 4:Yay, I get to you know, have a bb gun, I get to go shoot.
Speaker 3:You know all this fun stuff like that right, making friends at school, and I'm feeling like, oh my mom, but we don't live in an apartment anymore my mom got a house. Like I don't live in an apartment anymore, my mom got a house.
Speaker 2:Like I start to feel like okay, so you're like 12, 10, 12 or so yeah, probably 10 or 11. Has up to this point in your life, cause you had there were other kids, other people in your life. You were going places. You had a little brother Parks, you guys smoking any pot or doing any drugs or any drinking or anything, you're dabbling here or there, not at this point Nothing, oh, okay, okay. I started at eight bro.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's true, you never know when somebody yeah, okay, so he was probably in the bad part of Mesa brother.
Speaker 4:He's 12 in the good part of Mesa.
Speaker 1:There's a out bud.
Speaker 2:If you would have stayed on Off-Broadway, it would have been over for you, bud. God knew Okay. So let me ask you this when you move into this house.
Speaker 1:Do you feel this sense of? We've made it Like? There's a sense of like we're going to be here for a minute, Absolutely. Because you said you had all this moving around.
Speaker 3:And when your mom finally buys this house, there's a sense of yeah, like we finally get to be somewhere for a little bit. Yeah, it did. It felt it's so funny. It did feel like that because you know I'm like, okay, you know you look and go wow, my mom's working with her best friend.
Speaker 4:Nothing can go wrong there you know, like she's the you know vice president of the company and I'm kind of like no, kind of somewhat what that means.
Speaker 3:I'm like whoa, she's the vice president of the company and I'm kind of like no, kind of somewhat what that means. I'm like whoa. She's like the second person in charge. And I'm just feeling like okay, like this is like I'm feeling like you don't just buy a house to move. You know, and so you know she, she's very excited to you know, this is where we're going to be for you know, and so I'm looking.
Speaker 3:I'm like cool, you know, just down the street, that's the junior high I'm going to go to. Right behind me, Dobson High, that's the high school I'm going to go to, and so I'm just thinking this is it Like okay cool. I'm going to be in M more confident, probably struggling in school, but I don't remember struggling in school at that point, but just felt great at home. Everything felt awesome, had you know, in excess of everything, because you know my mom was just like yeah, McDonald's for dinner again.
Speaker 4:Sure, let's do it, guys, you know, because I guess you still was a single mom working late and all that stuff like that.
Speaker 3:You know, but again, like had a great neighborhood. My brother and I would ride bikes and play games with our neighbors and just be out late and then come home for dinner. It was just fun.
Speaker 4:Yeah, like the childhood like you would want at that time.
Speaker 3:And then I just remember, all of a sudden there was a really big shift um at this point we went to.
Speaker 2:What are? What are we in?
Speaker 3:we're like 2000 yeah 12, so he's 2002 so this is 2000 and this is probably 2000, 2001 okay. Okay, so great year. Dimebacks won the world.
Speaker 2:Let's go.
Speaker 3:I knew you were a sports fan but I remember there was that summer again when, okay, you're going to go visit your dad again and you're not going to stay with him as long, you'll stay with your aunt Christine for a little bit at that time too, which was fun. My aunt Christine for a little bit at that time too, which is fun. My aunt Christine is amazing, I love her. And so we're like, okay, so we go away during the summer. We come back and it just feels like dark Really the house. Something feels really off and really different. So my mom's like, hey, here's some of my friends, they're actually staying with us, oh, wow, um, and they're going to be living with us for a little bit. Um, and my, you know, we go in our rooms and everything's just like all messed up from this lady's kids and just so we come back and it feels chaotic, I noticed.
Speaker 3:I start to notice like why are there sheets up on our window?
Speaker 2:oh no, and it just little things like what's happening our home feels different when you've never been in it or exposed to addiction or that lifestyle you're like, why is the tarp up? But when you're in addiction, you're like oh, the signs.
Speaker 3:So then I'll fast forward, and you know I don't want to did you feel like a baited?
Speaker 1:like you were like your your space was being invaded, for sure, big time his room and all his toys and stuff because you were saying you kind of feel like you're kind of settling down now. You're finally feeling like, okay, we're here yeah I mean, then you come back and just like yeah you know I everything felt just like what's happened.
Speaker 4:Wow.
Speaker 3:So I'll fast forward for the listeners and I'll come back to the moment. But basically what I didn't know was my mom had been starting a journey into the world of drugs and was doing crystal meth and a variety of different drugs and was able to start and now the signs of that lifestyle were starting to kind of manifest and appear in our home. So it wasn't that over the summer this all happened. It was happening before.
Speaker 2:but we just didn't know. It just gets worse and worse.
Speaker 3:It was probably the little dabbles of oh you're going to stay with your grandparents on the weekend and you know we'll pick you up on Sunday. Okay, cool, you know. And then, just so progressively it got worse and then to where it was like there was a huge shift. So now I'm starting sixth grade, which is like the last like year of elementary, my brother's in fifth grade, and now we just have this like weird navigating. So all throughout the whole first semester, so from after summer all the way up to december, we're starting to notice our mom's gone for you know, a whole day, a whole night she didn't come home and you know just different things, like that waking, she's not coming out to see us, she's locked in her room. And so we really started to again like feel like I guess we'll just make breakfast for ourself.
Speaker 3:Yeah, man having to do a lot of these things. Still people in your house, still people in our house, Um yeah, and we're just feeling like, okay, I guess we'll just, you know, make breath. I literally have no idea how, if, if I even was getting myself ready, or I'm assuming I did- Cause I don't remember the school having you know he needs to wear shoes, but again.
Speaker 3:It just felt like for the next six months everything like way progressively just worse worse, worse. Every month felt worse, worse, worse it doesn't take long, brother, yeah and to where it was.
Speaker 3:Like I remember you know us, like my brother, like I have this memory of him like banging on her door like loud, like trying to kick in the door, saying, mom, where, get out, come out. And I remember I just felt really just kind of like subdued in that season of like I know something's going on, but I don't know what it is, and so I'm just gonna kind of go through, yeah, you know, go through the motions my brother's not that way.
Speaker 3:My brother is like, very like a fighter let's figure out what's going on yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm mad that this is all happening, um, and I'm just kind of like I'm just gonna focus on my friends at school and not think about how I feel yeah um it's real man, yeah, and so then all of this came to a head when, okay, so during this time too, we're, you know, going to, you know, on the weekends we're going to feet, parts of phoenix that I've, you know, never been to. We're hanging out at people's homes that I don't know where I'm at oh yeah, I'm like why are we staying here?
Speaker 2:and you know, and we do know, I know we really. You gotta understand friends. So everybody's like. These guys took all of us around to everybody man, and so, yeah, we're all the places. We're in these environments again not that I was like I remember where these guys took all of us around to everybody man, and so yeah we're in these environments again.
Speaker 3:Not that I was like I remember seeing this, this, this, but I knew, like looking back, you know all of this was happening somewhere in the house or something you know. Yeah, and you know just really just, oh it, just I, I, when I look back.
Speaker 4:I again like there's seasons in my life where it feels like God, like blocks memories out of like protect you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, um, and so I just, but I remember just being really like I know something's wrong, but I don't know what to do so halfway through our sixth grade year. Um, all of a sudden, there's one day, saturday morning. I'll never forget it. I hear this bang at the door and it's my grandpa who and we haven't seen them in probably months oh, wow um it could. I might remember him, but I'm pretty sure it was like they knew something that's what happens with addiction.
Speaker 2:You don't want to go to the people that you know love you and care for you. Yeah, sure.
Speaker 3:And so, and my mom grabs us, says go to your room, shut the door. You know, pretend like you're sleeping and just like, runs in her room and locks the door. And so I'm like and I'm like what Like? And so I'm like okay, and so I just I jump in my bed, and I think my brother did the same thing, and then all of a sudden, I hear the door open. My grandpa lifted up our garage, rolled under it.
Speaker 2:Come on, came through. Well, there's a will, there's a way, man.
Speaker 3:And then grabs my brother and I and says, hey, josh and Jeremy, like you know, just hey, we're going to go hang out at grandpa and grandma's house for a little bit. And we're just like, oh, okay, you know, just yeah, yeah I don't think my grandpa's a bad guy you know, just like okay yeah, so he doesn't say anything about, he just takes it.
Speaker 3:And then, right when we get there, um, I remember my grandpa and grandma have this conversation with me and jeremy and they're like hey, for the last several months and we think even longer your mom has been doing drugs. Your mom has been. And we're like what? No, like you know, like, no way, like you know, like but then, like you, when I bet, if I were to ask him, and I know, I know how I was feeling inside I'm like that all you start to start to make sense to click like you know.
Speaker 3:that's yeah and you're just like okay, I knew something was wrong but I didn't know what to call it. Now they're giving it a name and it's just again. It was like I remember this was literally right at the either beginning of the second semester of my sixth grade year or right in the break or something like that. So this is all happening and so then, within five minutes, the police show up um because my mom called them and said my oh wow, I said dad kidnapped my kids so they
Speaker 3:show up, they're explaining she's on drugs, and so they're like you know, we're gonna take them back. Yeah, we take them back. And then it was like nothing happened. My mom doesn't address it, my mom doesn't say hey, listen, I've been going through nothing, it's just back to our Saturday.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you this man Trauma doesn't talk, it covers up and moves on.
Speaker 3:That's in the past, let's go forward so within probably a month after that, my mom, the house gets foreclosed on, her car gets repoed. Oh, wow. So literally all of these things were already coming to a head for her. So finally admits okay, yep, I have a problem. Luke gets fired from her job. Already, I think had been fired from her job.
Speaker 3:So I think had been fired from her job, yeah, so blowing through all her money that she probably saved up, um, and I'm in, I'm here, and now my grandparents are saying we're taking, we're going to take them in, yeah, and so they get like power of attorney, like a guardianship over us, and you know, and they're like hey so the cops can't come and take you back away from them?
Speaker 2:sure, yeah, yeah well they're in a safer place. She agreed to that.
Speaker 3:She signed over all that stuff because again she recognized okay, I got a problem so that turned into okay. You know, um, it was, I think, sometime in march, because I I something. I had a big medical thing that happened to me in march okay and so she was in rehab. It was a 30-day like rehab place or whatever, and so I'm thinking cool, 30 days, she's going to get clean.
Speaker 4:Our life's going to go back to normal.
Speaker 3:So I had this big medical thing. I get something called Epstein-Barr, which we'll come back to later, and I get this. It was just basically like an attack on my liver. Oh, wow, and so I I'm in the hospital for like a whole week as they're treating it. They think at first they thought it was it's an appendix thing, and then you know. So they take my appendix out and they run more tests and I go oh, it wasn't his appendix.
Speaker 2:Come on dog.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's actually his liver.
Speaker 3:Thanks for the organ, though. Yeah, yeah, right so. So then, um, they're like here's. You know how he probably got it is someone probably didn't? Um, and because I was at school and I was living with my grandparents at the time, yeah that's cool.
Speaker 3:And all of a sudden, like I was like in recess and I was like, oh, my side like really hurts I just I remember like I was by a tree and I was like hunched over and I was like I've never been in this kind of pain before. Wow, didn't tell the teacher. But I remember getting home and I'm like crying. I'm like I'm just my, my side hurts so much. I don't know what's going on. I've been in pain, like when were you in pain? Like all day at school. They're like why didn't you tell them? So then my grandma's like all right, well, let's go to the ER. It's like, and so I remember being in the ER, um, and you know anyway, blah, blah, blah. They're like we think it's his appendix, but we're gonna take it out, he's gonna have surgery. Um, have that.
Speaker 2:So then my mom um leaves her rehab a little early so she can come be with yeah, yeah, oh, but she okay, just she stayed with me, okay, all the time in the hospital okay and um my recovery, and then she goes back. So I'm thinking cool.
Speaker 3:After she's done with this rehab.
Speaker 2:She's you know Her family will be back together.
Speaker 3:So that didn't happen. So she relapsed and just her life kind of drifted more into you know the life of addiction, yeah, which I know y'all are familiar with, and seen that pattern with people in your own lives as well. But um, so then you know, 30 days then turned into five and a half years excuse me, five years with grandma, with grandma and grandpa. Yeah, yeah so all of the rest of sixth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade, ninth grade and then half grade, half of 10th grade okay.
Speaker 2:So how long did it take you to real, to settle into grandma and grandpa and realize mom's not coming back?
Speaker 3:dude, I don't know if I ever really did oh, wow it was one of those things where it was like after that 30 days, I remember, um, it was after that first, okay. So yeah, it was that first year of seventh grade, so that whole six months. It was kind of like we didn't know what she? Was you know, it was like, what are you doing? But then it was like when we were like looking at apartments in Mesa near Dobson High and it was like, cool, I'm going to still go to that school.
Speaker 3:I'm going to go to that junior high and, you know, be with all my friends had no idea that it was maybe the last time I ever saw them that last day of sixth grade. And so then it was like, hey, you're going to actually be here long term, you're going to go to the Anderson Junior High. You're not going to go to Rhodes.
Speaker 3:And then it was like but all my friends are going to you know, and then it was like but all my friends are going to, you know, and so then it was my. My grandpa takes me, registers me for the school On the day of seventh grade orientation, where all the new people get to meet each other and become friends, and I missed it.
Speaker 4:So I'm coming in.
Speaker 3:You know, not knowing a single person. You know, like when you go to junior high, I knew all these people from elementary school and here's all these other people from elementary school and they're all coming.
Speaker 2:I'm like I don't know anybody so.
Speaker 3:I remember I walked through with my grandpa, I found out where, like some of my classes were. And so I come in on the first day of seventh grade and I just sit in front of my classes were. And so I come in on the first day of seventh grade and I just sit in front of my first class and just sit there, wow for probably like a week or so. Yeah, um and again all of those feelings of you know, oh yeah, abandonment.
Speaker 3:That's when all of those really started to play in my head and I remember feeling so. My dad wasn't there for me, he left me.
Speaker 1:My mom doesn't want me, she left me and I'm feeling all of these things now as a really insecure second grader at a new school, when your mom, when your mom first started her addiction and you were with your grandparents? Were there any like um empty promises that were made like oh, we're gonna do this, we're gonna do that? Oh, I'm coming to get you and never showing up, kind of thing. Yeah, was there any of that?
Speaker 3:so the great thing is, she wasn't in addiction the whole five years that we were separated. It was she had some clean time here and there okay so it was probably in the throes of junior high, where she was fully in it, but then there was a moment where God just arrested her heart. She went to church on the street which just from personal experience is one of the best places you can go to get clean, because my mom got clean.
Speaker 1:That's how you know it works. That's how you know it works.
Speaker 2:That's how you know it works, man, team challenge worked for me, so she sold like out for this part she was just like I can't do this anymore I can't keep missing my son's life.
Speaker 3:I can't keep living this way. It's just it's destroying my life. And so she goes to this and it radically changes her life. Like they'd make her write like oh yeah word for word like write this psalm worship over, you know, flow of worship time, overflow of ministry like all of this, a very ministry heavy and broke it off of her. Come on, so. So after she left, that never, ever went back to it one time. Come on, man Jesus.
Speaker 3:And so the next year and a half to two years it was rebuilding. So now I have to prove to my I'm speaking as if I'm her. Now I've got to prove to my mom and my stepdad, my grandpa and grandma that I'm getting my life together yeah I have to pay off all of these debts to the city and all these fines all the crimes, man.
Speaker 3:Yeah, restitution I gotta get all these things off my record. And they laid out a plan. They said once you have this, this, this and this, then we'll sign back over, wow, wow so mile markers to say here's what I'm going to do.
Speaker 2:I'm working.
Speaker 3:And she threw everything into being the best person she could Came to LifeLink with us and all that stuff. And so.
Speaker 1:Kudos to your grandma and grandpa for having a plan, dude you know what I mean, because a lot of people. They don't have a thing. It's just. You know, I'll be the one that judges when your life is good and you can have them back For them to have this plan laid out. Kudos to them for that, bro. Because now she can see I'm making progress, I'm getting there For herself. Check this out.
Speaker 4:You want to know what helped them with that.
Speaker 3:So at Word of Grace, the church we were at, they found this. I don't know what they called them back then, but we obviously call them life groups. But, they had a home group that was specifically for parents of kids that have fallen into addiction. And so they went to that group and that's where they got all the here's how you do tough love.
Speaker 4:Here's how you do that.
Speaker 3:And they got wisdom in that group to say here's how you do that. What a great idea for a life group that's great it's kind of like al-anon a little bit, yeah, I don't remember anything was called, but I remember them going to that and that's what like really helped them know here's how we need to process this season. Here's how we need to move forward so that you know. No, she can't, just you know.
Speaker 4:That's the biggest problem with people who are the ones of a dick, of people in addiction is they don't know they don't know how to deal with it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So thank god that group was there to lay to your parents. Your grandparents could understand, because a lot of people that are going through that just I mean they're, they're free, balling it and just like don't know, you know what?
Speaker 3:I mean of course, and just like sense they have no plan they don't know how to deal with it.
Speaker 3:They don't know how and a lot of people just, most of the time, enable that people yeah of course, yeah, or give them back too quick and it doesn't end up yeah and let me tell you with my grandparents, they did not enable her at all like the hardest, tough love you could imagine I remember there was a moment where I don't think she was supposed to be there but my mom was like at the door gate, like you know how, like houses have like the door and it's like the screen door she's at the screen door and they wouldn't let her in to see us and I'm looking and I'm watching my mom like want to just see us yeah no, like you, and just again, not knowing then but knowing now, that had to be the hardest thing for my grandma, for your grandparents to do and grandma to
Speaker 4:do, but they did it because they knew this is the only way that this is going to work, and it did Come on.
Speaker 3:It threw her into the. I need to get clean for my boys and for myself.
Speaker 1:I've seen it work the other way too. Sure, you know what I it clean yeah uh, for my boys and for myself, I've seen it work the other way too sure you know, I mean yeah, where it pushes people further into it because there's.
Speaker 3:No, there's no hope.
Speaker 1:Maybe. I mean you just feel like like, why am I even trying? Or they're never gonna. You know what I mean. So this I mean there's a moment where, in tough love, you can give up. Yeah, you know what I mean. So, yeah, I mean it's. I've seen it. You know his, his mom and dad, dad and stepmom tried to do that with them and it didn't work well.
Speaker 3:I mean, there's a method to it.
Speaker 1:There really is.
Speaker 3:But again it all goes back to what I said in the beginning. My mom is one of the most resourceful, resilient people when her mind's in the right place she can accomplish and she can do anything. I've watched her climb literally from the lowest of low.
Speaker 3:She's one of the most inspirational people to me yeah um, I've watched her climb from the lowest possible pit you can be in as a person, losing literally everything your house, your car, oh yeah, being so in debt and watched her over a year and a half pay off all her come on, man, get things expunged off the record, all of these things getting a house in there. Remember again because, like going back to the part where I said, I felt real the instability of am I just going to move again, am I?
Speaker 3:just gonna we're so committed to saying no. I want you to go to the same school, the same high school that I'm going to get uh, I'm going to rent a home in the same neighborhood as your grandparents so that you can keep going to the high school you're going.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Like, even like that kind of stuff of like her seeing committed to your wellbeing.
Speaker 2:It seems like she she made the change in her life to not only build her life, but build her life in a way that she can give you guys and support you guys and what you need and that's what I love.
Speaker 3:And again, that wasn't like. She sat down, said I'm doing this so you can go to the but, but you just look back and go like you were. So she did it you did that for me and jeremy, yeah, you know. And so again, built, like you know, work for desert schools and climb the way up, all the way up to being the senior recruiter of the company in just a couple years. You, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Just for all of our listeners out there, we do have an invitation. She will be saying yes soon in Jesus' name in her perfect time and pray her in. Pray her in, okay.
Speaker 3:But again, just watching her go through that, and every single night, every single night, from when the time we were in, when I was in sixth grade, all the way up until you know that last, probably night in 10th grade, when I was living with my grandparents, my grandma came in our room and we prayed for my mom Come on.
Speaker 3:And my grandma would say you know something along the lines of like you know. Thank you, lord, that you're delivering her from this. Come on, thank you, god, that she's going to be repulsed by that lifestyle repulsed by those drugs repulsed by you know and that she's going to be, you know, desperate for you. And she's going to and, like I just, remember every single night, faithfully, she would come in and we would pray that and make us, my brother and I pray Like it would really teach us like here's how you pray for someone.
Speaker 1:Wow Um.
Speaker 1:Your grandma was amazing Wow man I had somebody from my family show up here drunk on a Sunday morning. Oh, yeah and uh, female and needed help. Yeah and uh, your grandma stepped up, dude, and took her to a room with me and her and sat there and ministered to her bro. And, um, and took her to a room with me and her and sat there and ministered to her bro and shared a little bit of her own story. You know what I mean. And I was just like, wow, dude, you know what I mean. And so to see your grandma step up like that and minister to someone that she didn't know, but she saw a daughter of God, someone who was broken and hurting and just poured into them, man, it was pretty cool bro.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she's really intentional with stuff like that. She gets probably her most fulfillment by ministering to people in that way she loves it. She loves counseling people, helping people think through life decisions and I saw it firsthand, bro.
Speaker 1:It was amazing dude.
Speaker 3:I love that yeah, um so yeah. So that was kind of the walk, so the cool part. I'll share some fun memories during that time with my mom. So again, like I said, junior high nightmare hated how I felt and what I was seeing with my mom. Was starting to build good friendships though with some people and feeling like I'm going to be here for the long haul so I might as well make some acquaintances.
Speaker 2:Are you playing any sports?
Speaker 3:I tried out for the baseball team in junior high and did not make it.
Speaker 2:Neither did I, buddy. It's hard to hit the ball.
Speaker 3:So, I tried out the year that the Chandler regional team went to district, Went to the World Series, oh wow. So all of those kids came to my junior high. The coaches were like yeah, here's Trouts.
Speaker 1:Anyway, here's our starting nine. That's awesome.
Speaker 3:So yeah, I was up against them.
Speaker 2:You can bring the water to us. We need water.
Speaker 3:But no, you know, I loved playing sports and stuff like that, but never like long-term on any teams and stuff like that. But so during this time too so junior high happens I go into high school and now I'm starting to experience like some fun times with my mom. So at her job, because of her position, she was able to get Cardinals tickets.
Speaker 2:Let's go.
Speaker 3:Okay, so they would give her Cardinals. And she's like my son loves football. Let's go. Okay, so they would give her Cardinals, and she's like my son loves football. I want to take him, so she would just take me.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and that would be like our like kind of like one-on-one time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and we, like you know, like back when they were at the Sun Devil stadium.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:I do know Some random play, but that was like our time and like you know my grandparents were like okay, what time does it start? Okay, here's what time he needs to be home. Then if it ends and so you know, and so we would, and that was really where it sounds like I'm going to be so deep here. But that's really where my passion for like, hey, my mom and I are bonding over this team.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's when I like started become like a cardinal amen amen, amen. Hey rowdy says amen and this is, you know, 2006 so they're trash city at that point anyway, but but so it was fun it was fun to go there.
Speaker 3:It was fun to, and you know, both of us, you know, then would be able to start talking like oh, josh mcdowell, he's okay, why?
Speaker 2:is he the worst? Oh, you guys got to watch emmet smith.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah um and so anyway. So then, um, just fun times like that. She took me to some, like you know, um WWE pay-per-view stuff and when they came in town, like she took me to like all monster truck fun things and it was just like whoa, this is so fun, I get to do this with my mom. And so again, those little tiny steps of moving in the right direction you know um.
Speaker 3:So then you guys still going to word of grace. No, okay, so, um, so at this point, and when I started high school at lifelink, uh, when I started high school, um, at chandler high, my grandparents yeah, I went to chandler high, okay my grandparents started to feel a shift and said like, hey, we, hey, we feel like God is calling us to, you know, go to another church. Yeah, and talked with me and my brother.
Speaker 3:And we're like, oh, how could we, you know, leave where to graze and do that? And then both of us were like, oh, we're not really super close.
Speaker 1:Because, again, both of us, you know, we're always had good acquaintances but, not deep friendships and stuff.
Speaker 3:So we're like whatever you know, and so they started going to a church called Christ Life Church in Tempe. So it was in Tempe.
Speaker 2:It's right off of Warner and right after McClintock, or whatever that is, they started going there.
Speaker 3:Now it's 2911.
Speaker 2:Now it's 2911,. Yeah there, now it's 29 11. Now it's 29 11. Yeah, um, yeah, so crazy bro god ordained all this man.
Speaker 3:Oh, so we get there, um, and then there's the pastor who's preaching that day. His name is pastor david wright and, um, he's he's talking about where he went to church, where he got ordained Church on the Rock.
Speaker 1:Dallas Connection.
Speaker 3:My grandpa goes that's the same organization that I got ordained. So instant, like my grandpa's, like I'm probably all in on this guy. I love already what he's preaching. We're from the same, you know.
Speaker 1:That's when he was there filling in for the guy, right, yeah.
Speaker 3:So Pastor Dave, who's the pastor over at LifeLink Church, he was filling in for a season as an interim pastor, I believe, whatever the proper terminology is but he was there, and so that was in the middle of toward the end of that season for him and Pastor Cherie, and so my grandparents clicked immediately. They're like, okay, we feel like god is saying these are, these are the pastors for this next season of life.
Speaker 3:Come on and again I'm in ninth grade. I'm like, okay, I don't know what that means, yeah, we're gonna go here, okay. And so went to their youth group. Didn't feel super connected, little clicky, or maybe that was just my perception, you know. But just again, me and my brother kind of just by herself yeah, just kind of. You know I always.
Speaker 3:What I love about my relationship with my brother is he was always like that person yeah like even if we were fighting or if we were, you know, mad at each other, like I always always had each other.
Speaker 1:I have him as me, you know so and we're in this new season again you know around a bunch of new people again it's like at least I have him, you know, and so every time you go into a new season, was it like we're not gonna be here long.
Speaker 3:Don't get too close yeah, for sure you ever had that kind of feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah and again. Does that make it hard for you? To really get like, yeah, like it really easy for me to have kind of surface interactions and relationships with most people in my life and that's still, honestly something I have to intentionally get over even now, you know. But um, but again it was that easy.
Speaker 3:Like, okay, I know I'm not gonna be super deep, super close to any of these people, so you know, just kind of be here at youth group amen, because my grandpa's making me and uh so that was from september to december. So in december the church um votes for you know if they're gonna let um have pastor david pastry be the. You know um voted the board, basically voting them into. I'm getting some of these details messed up, I'm sure but, voting them in on.
Speaker 3:Are they going to be like now, the permanent senior pastors? So the board voted no. So then they transitioned out of christ, of christ life, and I remember you know hearing all the, you know the like. Oh well, you know we're going to go with this and we're going to have a couple people come in and I'm just sitting in service like okay, I don't know, yeah, whatever.
Speaker 3:But my grandparents were so disappointed and they're like man we know what God told us, Like we know, that God told us that these were going to be our pastors in the season, and so there's a little slight, I'm sure, for them, confusion of, okay, god, slight, I'm sure, for them, confusion of okay, god, what? What does all this mean? I will keep coming here. Then, about a month later, they hear pastor dave and pastor sheree are starting this church and it's called lifelink church.
Speaker 3:Here's the funny thing my brother actually was good friends with somebody who went to desert springs and that friend of his heard from um pastor Lacey If you guys know her pastor Lacey that yeah, my parents are starting a church, it's called lifelink.
Speaker 1:And then that friend that's right Cause she was doing youth group at. Oh wow.
Speaker 3:So little thing. And so my brother says this they try to say that they you know, heard, jeremy is the one that's like no, no, no.
Speaker 2:You heard from me Papa.
Speaker 3:But anyway we get connected. We meet them at a restaurant called Abuelos, like a Mexican restaurant in Chandler, and they just kind of give them the vision of here's what we felt. Like God Again, I'm probably not like oh, wow, this is so. I'm literally hanging out with my brother and then Lacey, who's 14, at the time and we're just kind of sitting have an awkward moment.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just don't know how to talk to each other, as our parents and grandparents are talking about ministry stuff. But I remember it was that moment where my grandparents were like okay. I told them, like we know, God told us you were supposed to be our pastors. So whatever this looks like, we're all in.
Speaker 4:Just told them straight up, like we're all in whatever life thing.
Speaker 3:And so they were meeting in home groups at the time. They had only met one other time, so we came week two. So we're week two lifelinkers and from then on, never left, wow that's amazing yeah, and so again, god's faithfulness, those little things, those little conversations, those little again, that shift of we're feeling like god's supposed to or telling us we need to you know, go to different church. Why was? Because they needed to make that connection so that they can meet pastor Dave and Pastor Sheree so that they could Y'all, I'm not even kidding.
Speaker 3:This was the first church. Christ Life was the first church we checked out. It was like, okay, we're going to start looking at other churches. That was the first one and God went, that one Wow. You know what I mean and and so, and it was all to have us connect.
Speaker 2:Because he knew To meet.
Speaker 3:Pastor Dave and Pastor. Sherry which I'm sure we'll get into in a little bit of how important they are in my life.
Speaker 1:But so it was that moment where you know what I love about God Is in that moment, God, you were probably clueless to what was really going on.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, but the Lord, but God knew, god knew today, yep. All these kids, all the youth, ben Egbo, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:And it's amazing to look back and see wow, god, you were working here knowing these days were coming and you allowed my grandparents to shift and move to here to meet this. When I look back on things like that with God, it blows me away.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That, wow God, you knew this day was coming. Even here I can see you here thinking about this day here and way ahead of time, and how you're in it, through it and all man. That's amazing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and so freshman year, like halfway through, that's when we started LifeLink. You know part of it.
Speaker 2:That's over at the CTEA.
Speaker 1:Not yet.
Speaker 3:So we're in home groups for a little bit, okay, and then, oh, the howards, yeah, yeah, wherever it was, like I always forget. But then, um, very quickly we realized, okay, we need a building and you know, here we found the school. Here's how much it is to fund the school, more than I think almost double came in to fund you know, know what we needed to do, which is awesome, yeah.
Speaker 3:And then, um, that first Saturday we were there setting up and or the um, they were called movers and shakers. That team was setting up and I remember I had this moment. So freshman year I played freshman year football. Probably played like five whole snaps.
Speaker 2:You know just what I did. Hey, you're on the field, man. You got a number.
Speaker 3:Sure, but I kind of did football because I'm like you're supposed to just do football.
Speaker 4:So I'll just do it with my friends.
Speaker 3:But it wasn't like man, this is the best ever, you know, whatever. And so still kind of like the whole time in junior high, in the angry, bitter about the season, I was in frustrated, feeling, abandoned, all those things constantly fueling and flaring up. So we get to LifeLink and 11th grade. No, no, this is ninth grade.
Speaker 2:Ninth grade yeah.
Speaker 3:And we get there. So that first Saturday they say, hey, we're gonna set up, and my I remember my grandma looks at my brother and I and just almost like, in a like, just kind of like you know, side-eyed way I don't know why, I remember it like that she's like you guys can help with that. I'm like what's like?
Speaker 4:I don't want to go at like saturday morning, at like 7 am, 8 am, and I have to set up.
Speaker 3:I don't even know what I'm doing, you know and she was like you guys can help with that dropped us off, went bye. Wow, she may have stayed and did some things, and so I remember past day was like all right, well, boys, go ahead and open up those speaker boxes and start pulling speakers out.
Speaker 3:Like okay, and we just started doing that um and then helped you know um, now you're a pipe and drape master, yeah you just started, you know just helping, and so it was in that season, where then pastor dave would actually come and pick my brother and I up oh wow, to take us to set up the church, so would pick us up in his geoprism car that he had.
Speaker 1:You were there for that. Oh yeah, oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:And would pick us up and you know just ask us questions. We're super, you know, kind of quiet, kind of awkward I could not see that tall dude in a geoprism. That's hilarious to me for some reason he drove that thing. Well man, this is crazy.
Speaker 2:I had another pastor that I was with Pastor. Well man, this is crazy. I had another pastor that I was, pastor Ryan had a Geo Prism and he was like 500 pounds Both my pastors and Geo.
Speaker 4:Prisms.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 3:But again he was investing in us.
Speaker 2:Come on, you know what I mean. Just for a senior pastor of a church that's starting out to come and pick up a couple of boys bro.
Speaker 3:Well, the youth group at the time was myself, my brother and then pastor.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Okay, and so not again like it wasn't, like he was like listen, guys, I'm going to invest in you, cause I think you're the future of this church no nothing like that. It was just a simple. I'm going to teach him some things and so on our drives like he go, do you guys know the 10 commandments?
Speaker 3:And we're like maybe it's a little bit. He's like oh, he's like it's really important. You know the 10 commandments and in order, I'm like okay, and so he would teach us every week, like the next one, the next one.
Speaker 2:And it kind of like a.
Speaker 3:I want you guys to have that memorized in the next, and so we're just like okay and then we did it, you know, but not because we're like do you still remember it? Probably I'm not gonna sing it right now. Come on, come on.
Speaker 1:I was trying to get you to sing it he, he knows it bud.
Speaker 4:He makes it, say it during staff sometimes but what I?
Speaker 3:love about that season is that was the season where, again, all the things I was feeling on the inside, but what started to really bubble up was a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Wow, I've never, ever felt up until that point.
Speaker 2:Come on man.
Speaker 3:I was looking forward to giving up my Saturdays to go to the church and just be a part of that point. Come on, man, to the point where I was looking forward to giving up my Saturdays to go to the church and just be a part of that team, being around all these 40-year-old, 50-year-old guys who are setting up, who are joking with my brother and I, who are being so unbelievably nice pouring love, just being loving, being caring. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:And it just felt like whoa, I want to be here for this, would you say that was the first time that? You felt somebody saw you and actually was putting an effort into acknowledging you, and seeing you.
Speaker 2:Are you talking about Pastor Dave and the drives?
Speaker 1:Well, just because up until this point there's a lot of movement.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of movement around there's a lot of just turmoil and chaos.
Speaker 1:That's going on with all the movement. I mean, life was good still, but it was a lot of moving. You just never really had a chance where you could sit down and have somebody outside of grandpa yeah, yeah, pour into you and actually show interest in you and want to encourage you and help you. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:100 100, that I felt that all the time from you know these amazing guys, um, who just poured to me dave alley was there, was there in that season. There's a drummer we had. His name was Carlos. He was really invested in that. Just so many guys like that who were so intentional to see my brother and I and not just go. Oh, these kids are in the way, but like hey let me show you how to set this up.
Speaker 3:Let me show you how this skits work. Let me show you how to make this room look the way we want it to.
Speaker 2:how the skits work.
Speaker 3:Let me show you how to make this room look the way we want it to. Wow, let me show you that the seam needs to be this way on the pipe.
Speaker 2:Come on, you know, like all those little things like that, the details, yeah.
Speaker 4:And just again.
Speaker 3:It was like to the point where then it was like my brother and I would. Just we knew all right, saturday we go in, we help set up these environments. Just so our listeners and audience know he's now the pastor over G-Force and generations pastor honestly, it's really I'll talk about like my ministry journey, my journey with ministry, I should say in a little bit, but yeah, I have the absolute pleasure of being the generations director at Lifeline Church, serving in that role and serving as a student pastor, which is really, really fun.
Speaker 1:I thank you for what you're just sharing, because we're coming into the season now, where we got to do but this, you know this you know what I mean. And and, and I've been asked to be kind of a part of that, you know, and you should and I'm going to.
Speaker 4:He's going to.
Speaker 2:Because I love yeah. But who can we wrangle in like that bro?
Speaker 1:So for me, it's hearing. I know what you guys went through in that time and the connections that were made and the friendships that were bonded and forged in those times, and so I'm looking forward to that.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're talking about the team, the Movers and Shakers team, and the relationship that the guys have.
Speaker 1:But to hear what you just said because one of the pastors told me, don't forget the kids. There's kids that are going to want to help, Don't forget the kids. And to hear what you're just saying now, now I'm like.
Speaker 2:Oh, I got to look for the kids.
Speaker 1:Now I know what to do now. It's not just, hey, put them to work, pour into them, help them, encourage them, help them to learn and grow. So it's not just put stuff up, it's being intentional with the next generation that's coming up behind us. It's so true, man.
Speaker 3:There's something incredible that happens when God unlocks purpose in someone's life. And just because someone's helping set up a church doesn't mean oh God's going to call them to ministry or anything like that. But you know, that's what he did for me. And I had no idea that those were the layers that he was building.
Speaker 2:That foundation on how old were you at this time?
Speaker 3:15. 15. Yeah, so again setting up and tearing down the start of my sophomore year. I started to go. The church office was right across the street from Chandler High, so my brother and I after school would walk across the street and then go serve at our church office.
Speaker 4:Wow.
Speaker 3:Roll bulletins, fold bulletins, just any little thing like that, just because we loved being around our pastors and our youth pastor and just it was. It was so you know just again that like I don't want to be away from this for whatever reason, like there's something that's drawing me to want to be here and um, I remember, um, just a little fun story.
Speaker 3:Like on my 16th birthday I was at the church office, like came after school and went in there and pastor shree brought in like a little cake with like a little car on it, you know, just to like celebrate my school and went in there and pastor Sri brought in like a little cake with like a little car on it, you know, just to like celebrate my birthday and it's just like Whoa, like you know, it's just again.
Speaker 3:Yeah, those little things like that that, over and over and over again, they showed where we love you, we're invested in you, we believe in you and we appreciate you. So it's just again those little things that, again, over and over, really started to kind of stomp out, that voice of nobody sees you, nobody cares about you. Yeah, your mom abandoned you, your dad abandoned you. You know, like just you know. Looking back, you see, god, really start to like throw those you know spears of truth at me.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's good yeah.
Speaker 3:And it was again. It was replacing the lies of the enemy the whole time.
Speaker 2:Well, it's the fiery darts of the enemy. 100%, it says spear of truth, absolutely Like. Wow, I like that imagery. That's great.
Speaker 3:And so, again, it was over and over. And I love Pastor Cherie so much too, because she was one that was really started to speak light no pun intended, but speak life.
Speaker 2:Come on, I love when I hear it Speak life, yes, lord, but speak life into my brother it's real bro Like they took
Speaker 3:all the youth to like a Hillsong United concert at Phoenix First, which was so cool and it was so amazing, and then afterwards she's like, you know, I've been praying and I've been, you know, and I feel like God's been telling me that you and your brother need to be a part of our youth band that we're doing and I'm like I don't sing and I don't play instrument, so you know I'm just like what do you need?
Speaker 3:You know, but then I remember just being like okay come on now. And she taught me how to sing, and pastor dave taught me how to sing and gave me the opportunity to just go. Hey, this is a way you can serve the church in addition to you know, setting up, tear down, but also in through worship. Wow, and I remember being in choir.
Speaker 3:I remember being a part of our youth band which is so fun and you know, being a singer and stuff like that, and it was really that's when I was like, okay, this isn't just something I do on the weekends, like this is something that's really important to me, wow, um and you walk around here, man, during work and during our days, worshiping and singing, and so it's a, it's a part of you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's honestly, that was all being developed and breathed in me, god breathing those things in me during that season, because I had a pastor and a leader in my life that said I see this in you and you may not think this, but I see this and I want to help you cultivate that Um, and it just again. It was one, that next layer of foundation, where god was like I'm gonna keep setting you up, setting you up, setting you up, um, and so that was just again.
Speaker 3:it was such an unbelievable, fulfilling season because, right at that same time, my sophomore year is when we got reunified with my mama and it just felt like man and she got.
Speaker 2:She got a place in the neighborhood by grandma and grandpa.
Speaker 3:So no, no uprooting, no moving we literally they were on pennington and saguaro or whatever, and we went down to pennington and australia amen, so just across the schools all the way down the street. Just you know, wow, and so it was great, and so I remember. So again, god was continuously showing me his faithfulness, because one I I told you the beginning of my, where god became real I was in elementary school.
Speaker 2:Yeah, in that part saw the I saw the you know woman.
Speaker 3:her ear it was healed, she was, she was no longer deaf. I had the moment where I was in kids church and sat by myself and said, okay, god, like I, I know you're real, I feel you, I want to live for you. And then I had this moment where it felt like you know junior high, like God, are you even real? Like I'm mad at you, I'm this and that. And then he was showing me the whole time that look at how much better and how much stronger your mom is now.
Speaker 3:Look how much more she loves me. Look how much more you love me.
Speaker 2:And look, I answered prayers because you prayed for her to be clean. I was just thinking that same thing, and so now I'm like, okay, god heals, god answers prayers.
Speaker 3:I'm just like all of these things he's continuously showing me. And so my faith in him is just like I don't even have to think about it. I'm starting to get to a point where I'm like I don't have to. Is this going to happen? Is this? I'm just like no dude, god's going to do whatever.
Speaker 2:Come on man.
Speaker 1:I love it. It's just a matter of when, so.
Speaker 3:I'm really feeling that, and this is another time where I'm like during that whole time too, I'm also being asked to serve in our kids ministry, you know being you know, one of like the leaders in there which is like you know, okay, that's fun, is like you know, okay, that's fun. He's like what do you want me to do?
Speaker 3:but during, like I mean for the listeners who maybe heard his testimony, but jt heidman elementary school in there johnny watson, little elementary school kid in there, you know, like people who are you know men now in our church serving our church. I remember I was you know 15, 16 and I was just a leader in the kids ministry.
Speaker 4:And they were all there, Come on man. Isaiah so.
Speaker 3:I can see all these kids. I remember what they were like when they were little.
Speaker 4:And now I get to see them.
Speaker 3:now Come on it's fun, and so, again, faithfully, just said yes to whatever was asked.
Speaker 4:Just whatever was needed.
Speaker 3:I was there for every event, every women's event, every, you know whatever, just to serve just to do whatever.
Speaker 2:I needed to do.
Speaker 3:Or you know, because I just again.
Speaker 1:I loved it.
Speaker 3:And you know, and it was just from a place of I just want to be here. That's so cool. Almost like I, not like an unhealthy I need to be here, I'm going know freak out, but it was just I, just I really want to want to be here, being here and you know, whatever I can do, like practicing worship, and I'll be there on that day that we're doing that for youth group, I'll be there on that sunday for church.
Speaker 2:I'll be on that side, you know just wherever I could be there, I would be there so felt, so much fulfillment I want to share with you because, while you're talking, I'm over here tripping out. I'm like, wow, god did for me what he did for you, because, like I had, but mine was a lot later in life.
Speaker 4:I'm 39, dude.
Speaker 2:But no, I was what? 36 and living at home, no job, just come out of addiction, out of rehab at home and dad's like dude I got to get. So dad just bringing me here Remember I'd come here on Tuesdays, come here on Thursdays. He dropped me off outside at 630 in the morning. I'd wait until Pastor Tom would come in at eight and just one day after another man and just wanted to be here and just be a part of what you guys were doing, because it just was different yeah I had never experienced this in the staff meetings, just sitting in those things.
Speaker 2:Now that I think about it, I'm like, wow, god, yeah, what were you? God did that? Yeah, I didn't know what I was doing, man, I I'm just like I don't know, sitting in these meetings, at these tables and inner workings of the church and everything, and it's like he literally brought me here and gave me purpose. Man, I didn't have nothing, bud, I was lost and headed nowhere fast. And now I got people and community like dad was talking about earlier, how, how we put speak life off. It's like no, we're in lifelink, we're gonna serve god and we're gonna love, we're gonna, we're gonna be in with lifelink, yeah, and now the lord has done cr. Yeah, this podcast, man it just.
Speaker 3:But it all started with just a yes to the house, absolutely absolutely, and that's, that's literally the story of my life when it comes to ministry. It's just I just kept saying yes to everything. Yeah, um, you know it just, even like growing up in high school. You know my youth pastor say hey can you? Help me with this life group, this junior high life group? Hey, can you help me with this? Hey, can you be at it?
Speaker 3:I was like yep, yep, yep, whatever you need yeah and you know not to, for those who are listening, to think, man, he just had a great church life. I was for sure there was layers of arrogance, layers of insecurity acted out of, you know, stupidity, all of those things it was a knucklehead all infused in all of this whole process. I in no way was a saint or anything like that.
Speaker 2:That's the cool thing about God man he accounts for all our stupid choices.
Speaker 3:Again, it was because I was still in the middle of feeling all of the things I've felt since I was in elementary school. Never processing them, never submitting them, never giving them over to God, holding on to that anger. And I remember, um, it was so interesting I never really had this moment, because I don't remember having a moment with my mom where we sat down and it was like this, like a big talk.
Speaker 2:Hey, let's have a big, let's forgive.
Speaker 3:It just kind of like we just kind of went into that season this is how I remember anyway and we just kind of went into that season this is how I remember anyway and we just kind of went into that season, and then it just was like all right, here we go Just moving on.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but again it was like. I remember having the thoughts of like, oh, I should be mad, I should be at her, and it was just like again it was like where I was, like, no, I'm so happy that God radically changed her and that her life was different, so I didn't again. People closure is so healthy and so good, but it was almost like God was like I didn't need that to be able to move forward you know what I mean. And she did like say oh man, I hated that I went through.
Speaker 2:So we've had like conversations like that, but it wasn't like this Big amends and it was just almost like that, but it wasn't like this Big amends, yeah, yeah yeah, and it was just almost like.
Speaker 3:it was like oh my God, we're all living here.
Speaker 1:God had already softened your heart and worked on your heart through the process, for sure, for sure, especially towards her.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Because it was like oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:I was angry and bitter when I was junior high but she's so resilient, she's so amazing and god did so much through her. I'm just so grateful I get to be back in her house, do you know? So let me ask you this I think I think this probably helped you a lot in that is the fact that your grandma came in and prayed with you guys, man for your mom.
Speaker 2:So much for him to see the answered prayers, the little bit that I do know of your grandma.
Speaker 1:I can't imagine your grandma going and ever bad mouthing your mom to you guys.
Speaker 3:No, I mean not that I remember. I'm sure she was frustrated, Well, yeah, but I'm sure it wasn't like oh, your mom's a.
Speaker 4:No, no, you know what I mean, nothing like that. And so, mrs, Brooks.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I know your grandma, I know it wasn't like that encouraging and absolutely, and we're gonna believe for this and and so when it did come around, it was already in your heart that we've been praying for this and now I'm getting to witness this. So it probably made that transition a little easier, because it was. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know what I'm saying absolutely and it was, it was. She always had faith and believed that God was going to absolutely deliver her mom. Yeah, it wasn't, she wasn't two-faced, where she would pray it and then go well, da-da-da-da-da.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll see.
Speaker 3:It was.
Speaker 4:We're going to pray this and we're actually going to believe this is going to happen Come on.
Speaker 3:Whether we're seeing any steps or evidence of it. Now we're praying and believing that.
Speaker 4:God's going to radically change our heart.
Speaker 2:And he did.
Speaker 3:It was a great example to be around, where I watched my grandma pray for this all the time and then praying with her all the time and then watching the fruit of that prayer come out and happen when.
Speaker 2:I, because I got here and Chris Peterson wrangled me on the production and then james had me on the cameras, man, and I almost fell on the stage. I was like I'm done with those dude, no. So then it was like I was in the worship team for a little bit and then when it came to it, it was like, oh, you're not high enough score for it, so it's like, okay, where do I go? And I was over in pre-teens, served back there for like 18 months, man, and then I felt, in november of I think it was 22 or 23 one of those I felt god telling me to come onto the prayer team. Cool.
Speaker 2:And when I did, grandma, grandma brooks, was always on the prayer team. She's back there behind the wall, man, and we never really talked, but it was just cool getting to see a matriarch in the faith praying behind the wall, because some of them walk and move their hands, other they sit in the chair and they pray fire, but it's just cool being behind the wall seeing god's, god's kids man intercede for the congregation I love that.
Speaker 3:For those who don't know um lifelink, we have like a big wall um behind um our our stage and we have two strategic prayer people back there praying all throughout the service and it makes a big difference. It does and yeah, and Rowdy is one of those people who does that. It does. It makes a huge, huge difference. Um, but, yeah, my, I love my grandma man. She can spend hours in prayer and it feel like nothing to her.
Speaker 2:She comes out all on fire yeah.
Speaker 3:It's just it's. It's really incredible and so yeah. I'm'm really, really happy that that that's my, you know legacy, coming from you know, to grandparents who loved god come on man faithful, faithful um stewards of everything god gave them yeah um my grandpa, um he would. Everyone would call him frugal but a great steward of everything God gave him. The little finances that they had. When we were in their house stretched every dollar to make sure that our fridge was full our pantry was full that me and my brother had everything we needed to not feel like we're less than.
Speaker 3:Even I know sacrificing things for himself. My grandma was sacrificing things that she wanted to do just so we can be taken care of in that season. And so I'm eternally grateful to both of them. And you know, it's just again God's faithfulness of you know, giving you incredible people that he knows.
Speaker 3:These are the people that you need to, you know, be in your life, speaking into you, helping raise you you know with my mom same thing, just the things that she would, that she taught me even after when we were reunified of you know how? Here's how you interview. Here's how you be. This here's you know. Here's what I'm looking for when I'm interviewing someone like help me with those skills so I can get a job and just all of these things that you take.
Speaker 3:You know, in the moment you're like I don't know what that's gonna, what that's gonna look like, you know, or you're not seeing the, you're not thinking of the fruit of all, of all of that yeah the result.
Speaker 2:You don't know how it's gonna.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you can look back and go man hindsight thank you, grandma, that you prayed and talked to Jesus every day and had a quiet time with him. Thank you, grandpa, that you did that.
Speaker 4:Thank you, mom, for teaching me these things, you know just all those things, yeah.
Speaker 3:so I think I was in high school. And so sophomore year, reunified with my mom Healing's happening there. My brother and I are, you know, getting in high school and all that stuff. He has his own journey that he's going through in high school and stuff like that. But I, I know I'm I'm kind of just I'm all in um. So during this time is when I also meet um one of the other girls in the youth group.
Speaker 3:Her name's tiffany, and hello somebody who ends up being my wife several years later, by the way, don't want to bury the lead there.
Speaker 3:But again just those little connections you know you make. You have no idea how God's going to use friendships and relationships with people. But I'm again just saying yes to everything and so I'm. I'll fast forward a little bit. So my junior year was such a fun year for me. I felt like that was like one of the most fun years of my life. It was like almost like that last year of it was like that first full year of like stability and like I'm with my mom now we got all this figured out and then also just my friends, like my friend life was healthy life.
Speaker 3:Yeah, things are good and then it was like that's when God started to say okay, now let's start working on your heart. Now let's start working on those things that you feel on the inside yeah. So, even though it was a fun year, that was really when a lot of that kind of internal spiritual work started to happen for me.
Speaker 3:I remember that's when I started to really have all those things come to the surface of like okay, I'm holding on to a lot of this anger. I'm still during this whole time. Anger is my driver like I'm led through anger. I'm and you know, honestly, there's things I'm constantly having to overcome and overwork anger when it creeps up, if I'm in an unhealthy mindset, that's driving me every time you know um.
Speaker 3:So anger is really leading me severely all throughout my life. So this is the point where I'm really like, okay, what's causing this? And then God's pointing resentment that you're holding against your dad Wow, and that's real bro. Yeah.
Speaker 3:At this point my one and when I really I kind of skipped, skipped this part, but there's one point in sixth grade when I really this is where I started to get real bitter at him is I remember I ran to my mailbox like every day leading up to my birthday and then for weeks after my birthday waiting for the card like waiting for a letter. Yeah, nothing came. Oh, man, mom calls him. Like you know what you did to your son, oh, he's heartbroken, you didn't send him anything.
Speaker 2:It's weeks after his birthday. He's waiting, like you know have.
Speaker 3:I remember she's like in the background having a call, like if she like if she could help, it would not call him just, it just wasn't ever a full conversation um, and just really lit into him and he's like, well, I'm sorry, you know whatever and so, but I was just and that's when I was just like had that kind of realization Like in third grade I realized, okay, I'm different, I don't have a dad. Why don't I have a dad? Why doesn't you know?
Speaker 2:Yeah, but in high school.
Speaker 3:That in sixth grade is where I really felt he doesn't care about me. Yeah, you know, and so that's so now I'm holding onto that anger. So now, junior year year, I'm starting to really feel like where god's like, challenging me, like you gotta let go of this. You have to give this to me. You have to.
Speaker 2:This is gonna hold you back your whole life you're gonna think oh well, if my dad would have just been. You're gonna use this as an excuse for everything.
Speaker 3:Something doesn't go your way. It's you know, and and I, I remember feeling like huh, I, I don't even know what to do. It's real.
Speaker 4:It just happened to me.
Speaker 3:It's not my fault, it's his fault, Holding on to this a lot of years Again, God, still the whole time, freshman year, sophomore year, junior, softening my heart, falling in love with Jesus, having these incredible worship moments at church in my Bible infrequently, but in my bible more than you know, but so still, you're a teenager and you're in your bible, but growing and just you know all these little things and and it was my I think it was my um senior year of high school where now it was just like I was, like I don't want to hold onto this anymore, wow, and I remember I called my dad on Christmas Eve and.
Speaker 3:I just was like hey, I just want to let you know, um, I have held onto a lot of anger for my life because you weren't there for me. Um, I'm so bitter about you, about you know the all the things you missed and not feeling like you were there for me or you cared for me, and this is how I feel.
Speaker 4:But I want to let you know, I forgive you.
Speaker 3:Wow and wow again. I had no idea what their reaction on the other side was yeah, and I just remember hearing silence and just kind of like slight whimpering and like, like you know, I could tell maybe he's trying to hold back, but could tell like that, really, you know, hit him. And then it was in that moment I had this like real snapshot from God. It was almost like that, me saying that lifted that.
Speaker 2:Oh man.
Speaker 3:I'm literally, I'm not kidding.
Speaker 2:I can feel it.
Speaker 3:This is how uncool this environment was. I'm just sitting on the floor in my grandparents living room on their white carpet, you know, with presents around, and treat my their christmas tree around, just on the phone, you know my little flip phone or whatever and I had this moment where it felt like I was like you. It's just something like lifted off of me.
Speaker 3:And then, at the same time, I had this feeling and it was like God was speaking to me and he was like showing me almost a glimpse of. You have no idea the level of guilt and shame that he has felt all of these years, because he knows what he did wrong and he knows what he did.
Speaker 3:He can't fix and take back, wow but you calling him gave him a freedom from that so kind of I hope, I really hope that that was the case, but for me it was like I. The bigger thing I was seeing that moment was I saw him differently, and so it wasn't this guy who was a piece of garbage who abandoned his family. It was. It was almost like that compassion part where it was like I feel so bad for you because you've had to hold all this shame and all this you're able to have empathy for yeah, and it was.
Speaker 3:The weirdest thing is that at that point, not an ounce of that towards him.
Speaker 2:It was anger.
Speaker 3:It was anger and resentment, and that moment as all that was lifting, that rushed into me and where I was like he's probably it was God. I know it was God it was. He's probably felt so much shame and guilt all of these years. And then it was almost like God was like there's not a day that goes by where he doesn't think about this, you know.
Speaker 4:That goes by where he doesn't think about this, you know, and so you can have the new wife, you can have the kids, who are great at sports who are doing all these things, but at the same time, you know that there's two boys in arizona that you don't know you know, and so again it was like it was all.
Speaker 3:All of that happened in this snapshot of me forgiving my dad and that's the power of forgiveness brother absolutely this guy forgave his dad and got set free from a meth addiction.
Speaker 2:I was in.
Speaker 1:I was in prison and I was doing, uh, edwin lewis cole books the maximized series, and it talked about holding on to the sins, the burden of the sins committed against you, not the ones that you committed, oh yeah, the ones that were committed against you. And so, similar thing, I forgave my dad and in that moment, god showed me something too about my dad. It was that my dad did the best he could with what he had and how he was taught. And in that moment, the same thing, it allowed me to see my dad differently, that he was just a because we. For me, I put my dad up on his pedestal superman.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean and now I was like I was able to see my dad is just, he's just a man, just like anybody else. He's probably broken. He's probably, you know, went through some things in his life and, like he said, it freed me from a meth addiction. When I got out of prison, I went to my dad and I went and told him you know the things that you did, but I also want you to know that I forgive you. And the same thing, brother Chen started to quiver and he kind of, you know, and I was like, but I bet in that moment, the same thing, brother, that he was like the weight was probably lifted off him too.
Speaker 1:Forgiveness is so powerful. It's not just for us, bro. It releases those that were forgiven too, from the things that they're carrying. Man.
Speaker 3:That's good. I don't know why this popped in my head, but there's this moment in scripture where Jesus is talking to the rich young ruler. Now, this whole context of this verse is all about money, but he says to the rich young ruler, he says to Jesus what can I do to follow?
Speaker 1:you.
Speaker 3:He's like okay, love God with all your heart, Obey the commands of the prophets. He goes I've done all these things. He's like like all right, sell all your possessions and follow me, and then it said he went away sad because he had many possessions. Now again that's about money. But in a similar way, how many times do we have many hurts? That we hold on to, and you know, jesus like just give those away, give those to, and you know Jesus is like just give those away.
Speaker 1:Give those to me.
Speaker 3:You know what?
Speaker 1:First Peter, five, seven you asked all your cares to me you know and you know cause I care about you.
Speaker 3:You know all those things we hold on to and for many of us it's like I have many things and if we're not careful we'll go. I have many things and I need to hold on to them because I have control. And I need to hold on to these because it reminds me I can't trust people. I can't do this I or check this out. I don't want to try to trust someone because they'll hurt me again, or it's almost like a defensive.
Speaker 1:I gotta hold on to the protection and sometimes it becomes identity sometimes it becomes identity this hurt is now my identity. So if I forgive this person, who am I now? Because I've identified as this victim for so long that if I forgive who, who am I now? Yeah, and so so the whole point of that moment is he.
Speaker 3:He's trying to get this man to realize you don't realize it, but your possessions have a grip on your heart, and so he's like I'm not after your possessions I don't care about your possessions. I'm after your heart, and you'll never be able to give me your heart if you have these things come over it. And so for me, it's that it's again in a similar way it's do I want these things to have a grip over my heart, or do I want jesus to have my heart?
Speaker 4:and if he has my heart in his hands.
Speaker 3:He's going to take me anywhere. He wants me to go. So he's going to lead me, but if I hold on and say I can't let this go then his hand's going to be there extended and going whenever you're ready it's here, and until then you're holding onto that and you're going to get the effects.
Speaker 4:You're going to let those things steer you and direct you, you know. So just again, it was effects.
Speaker 3:You're gonna let those things steer you and direct you.
Speaker 4:You know, so just again, it was uh.
Speaker 3:That's why I feel like I felt that moment, I just it just released off of me and it was like I felt like, almost like a new person you ever seen a weighted?
Speaker 1:vest yeah how they have like these little slots and you can put just different types of weights in it. It's almost like that where you're like, okay, I'm gonna take this, takes this weight off me. You know what I mean this forgiveness takes this weight off me and we begin to feel lighter.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Begin to feel like we're freer you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so good, it's those burdens, man. We cast them cast our cares, our burdens on him.
Speaker 3:We wear them like. That's how I kind of really and that was Christmas Eve of. I believe it was my senior year. If it wasn't my senior year, it was my junior year, but I'm 99% sure it was my senior year.
Speaker 2:What's that? 2017? No 2008, 2009. He's trying to make you young, bro, math wise.
Speaker 3:But so again, finishing out my high school year, and you know God's faithfulness to it all. So now I'm at a point. I'm finishing up high school, I'm in my last semester and I go, oh yeah.
Speaker 4:College.
Speaker 3:I got to figure out what I want to do with my and so at that point I was like I have no clue and I just I never even thought about it, you know.
Speaker 2:I'm a huge.
Speaker 3:I'm an over. I'm overcoming procrastination all throughout my life.
Speaker 2:And so all my friends are like. We have a group for that at Celebrate Recovery buddy.
Speaker 3:But all my friends are like I'm going to be a doctor, I'm going to go to this school. I'm going to be a doctor, I'm going to go to this school. I'm like, so great, save lives man. Um, this friend, I'm going to be a police officer. I'm going to be like everyone felt, felt it felt like they knew what they wanted to do. And so I'm like, well, there's a tour for Chandler Gilbert community college, community Tested in, got in, whatever it's community college. So you basically can just hey, I have money.
Speaker 4:They're like okay, cool.
Speaker 3:So got the financial aid, all that stuff and was like I like history, so I'll be a history teacher. Wow, so went and was on that track for the first year of college to be a teacher. Did service hours in a high school which is actually a ski high school, which is down the road from here, and then did a whole bunch of history classes. Loved my history classes.
Speaker 3:They were really fun, learned so much, but at the same time I felt so unsettled of I don't still feel confident that this is what I'm supposed to do. And so during that time I'm serving heavily in our junior high ministry and my pastor, my youth pastors, pastor Megan and Pastor Carrie Robinson. They're giving me more opportunities to do things and really just give me a lot of trust. And one of the things they asked me to do was start speaking and like doing like the lessons in there. So with that, which were I was like, oh my gosh, like I'm you know, like okay, just give me what to say.
Speaker 3:And I was, you know, like I don't know, Um, but then you sell yourself short buddy, you sell yourself short man.
Speaker 2:For sure, For sure.
Speaker 3:So but then I'm really feeling like you said he was teaching me how to you know, craft a message and different things like that.
Speaker 3:So I'm preparing a message in our junior high ministry at the time it was called SOAR at the time and I remember I was doing a project or working on something that I had to do for college and I was so bored and overwhelmed and I was just like I do not want to do this and so I started working on my message for junior high and just feeling like alive and just feeling excited, and I'm sitting on my mom's couch, we're in our living room. I was in my living room. No one else is in the house. And I remember I had this moment where I said, god, why in the world is this so fun for me? But the thing I have to do for school is so boring and exhausting. And I swear I heard god so clearly say to me because this is what I've called you to do, hey, man. And I remember feeling, I felt his presence so close, I felt that confirming voice so clear, and I'm looking and I'm like, and then it was like he shaped it. It was like ministry is what I've called you to do wow, that's why you feel fulfillment yeah when you're there serving, come on when you're
Speaker 2:there wow this is because I've called you and so, just again, I literally went okay.
Speaker 3:So I went to my um, I went to pastor carrie, pastor megan, I'm pretty sure I went to pastor dave too, and I was just like uh you told them so hey, listen, I think that god's called me to ministry to which my I remember my east pastor being like.
Speaker 4:Well, I could have told you that and uh we're always the last ones to figure it out everybody else can see it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I had this moment where it was just like okay, this is what I want to do wow and right during that time, our church was starting a school of ministry, and so my youth pastor goes. We're starting a school of ministry for people like you to get in the throes of see you to see, as you know, is this what you want to do?
Speaker 3:is this like this is how it works, blah blah. You're taking classes, you're reading books, all of this kind of stuff. So I'm like, okay, I drop out of um school, like community college, and I'm like, I'm going all in on this and so that next year, wow, um, 2010 is when we started it. Um, I went through school and ministry and then, um, after school and ministry, um, and I it's so funny.
Speaker 3:I wasn't even thinking about this earlier when we were going to talk about this, but it's just like all these little things are clicked.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:You had to pay to be a part of school and ministry, which you should be, because you're you're investing in. You're investing in you know, you're getting all this content.
Speaker 4:You're getting all this material.
Speaker 3:So you know all that stuff. So. But I'm like, okay, here's how much it is, here's what I make at Harkins Deeders as a team member right now I don't know how this is going to work. I have no clue who did or how it worked, but someone paid for a lot of my school of ministry. Again, no idea who it could have been. Family could have been, I don't know but.
Speaker 3:I don't know. But they're like yep, someone paid for your and so it freed me to go. Okay, yeah, I can work, I can come here, I can learn. And so went through school, ministry, um, and then right after the next year, um, we were doing it was called lcu, life christian bible college, and it was like, okay, you're gonna, um, we're gonna have a bible college, we're also gonna have an internship man okay, I know I'm supposed to do both of these, but um, so at this point now, my mom had moved back to texas for an incredible job opportunity.
Speaker 3:She wanted me to go with her and my brother go with her.
Speaker 3:But I just was like, oh man, I'm jumping ahead of myself. This is gonna kind of sound jumbly. I'm sorry everyone, but so, um, I knew that I was supposed to go be a part of that internship and in a part of the Bible college. I'm like this is where I know I'm supposed to go. So my grandparents were like no, you know, we want you to go to the Bible college we went to in Dallas and your mom's moving there, oh wow and wow, and we're going to pay for everything, wow.
Speaker 3:My mom's, like you can live in the house that I'm going to be staying at, which is a real. Her friend had a really nice house in Plano Texas, beautiful, everything. Um, they said we'll get you a car, we'll do that, we'll pay for all this stuff. And I'm like no brainer. That sounds great to me. So I go. They have these tours that you can do, where you can be there for like a day, sitting on a class, experience their worship, all this stuff. And I went in full, open-minded, you know like okay, let's see every part of my time there. I was like this isn't your school, this isn't your school, this isn't your school. Wow, I just felt that yeah here's why it was scary.
Speaker 3:this is the first time where I was going to have to, as a 19-year-old, tell my grandparents hey, I know, this is what you're feeling. This is what God's telling me, wow.
Speaker 1:Wow bro.
Speaker 3:I'm telling you, I remember sitting on their couch and saying that to my grandma and being so scared because I'm like. This is like the matriarch of our family.
Speaker 3:This is the woman who taught me how to pray taught me how to hear, and then I remember, but I remember having this, this, I think I even verbalize this, but I even remember saying grandma, you taught me how to hear from god and I'm hearing from god and this is what he told. Oh wow, not not to like throw it yeah, but in the most respectful way. Yeah, just this is what I'm feeling I'm supposed to do, and I know she was disappointed because again it's like that cool legacy of like this is where my grandparents went.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know. So, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:But she just said, okay, wow, and so stayed in Arizona, had an apartment with my brother and a friend and worked. I was a supervisor. Then I got promoted to a supervisor and I just did. I knew I couldn't commit to both school and internships. I was like, all right, I'm going to pick one, I'll do the internship first. And so everyone else was like starting Bible school and some people were doing internships, but I'm like I'm on my own out here, like I have to pay rent.
Speaker 2:I gotta be smart here. So I had to work full time and do the internship.
Speaker 3:I worked nights and I worked in. I did the internship. I think it was like one day at the church and then we had like to do 20 hours of like ministry work in addition to that. So I'm doing that, I that. So I'm doing that. I'm again. I'm a big procrastinator. So immature still all these years right, so God's working all of these things in me.
Speaker 3:And so we had an incredible, incredible pastor. His name was Ron Nelson. Oh yeah, and so he was here. He was the intern pastor who was over the internship, and when I tell you that I was the worst intern ever I was the worst intern ever. I was lazy, I was all the things you know. Just again, like cause I at this point I'm like, well, god's called me to it, so you know it'll all work it out like I just, you know, like, oh God, let's work it out like you know not reading the assigned's work it out like and you know, not reading the assigned things I was supposed to read not doing and but again fighting through the.
Speaker 3:I'm working full-time and I'm doing so. Again the excuse of well, I gotta do this and everyone else is doing the same thing but you know, just again trying to use that as an excuse, yeah and he had this moment where he wrote me up and he sat down with me.
Speaker 3:I remember seeing the army, I'm crying as this is all happening and he's like, hey, you know, he looked me in the eyes. He goes a lot of people will start internships but not everyone finishes them and almost like saying like get your act together or you're not going to be here to finish this internship. And it was that real tough love. You know father and figure, type of person speaking to me challenge you yeah I'm challenging you.
Speaker 3:You have to be better or you can't keep doing this. Yeah, we have a level of excellence and you're not even meeting the minimum, and so again it was one of those things. Yeah, it was where I and I remember I didn't get mad, I wasn't like well, forget this.
Speaker 2:Like okay, because that's what you know.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I've been here since week two and I've done like no, no, no, nothing like that it was this moment where I'm like oh man, I gotta change, I gotta get better.
Speaker 3:And thankfully, whatever level I did was able to finish the internship grew. You know again, god is so full of grace and so full of goodness. So I was able to complete that and then started Bible school the next year.
Speaker 1:He was over LCU too, wasn't he?
Speaker 3:yes, yeah, and so again, funding for that had to figure out. Okay, how am I going to pay for this? Thankfully, I am so unbelievably blessed with a very generous family who invested in my education.
Speaker 2:Come on man.
Speaker 3:And so I wasn't on my own for that, and so that's the only reason I was able to do what I was able to do during that season Working full time, knowing that, okay, my grandparents, my mom, they're going to help me with school, you know all that stuff, and so again, it was just like God, thank you.
Speaker 2:Gave you some peace of mind. Yeah, yeah, not so much stress and pressure on you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and again, there are people who who all around the world and who are at this church, who probably scrounged and did and struggled through a lot of that and it was a struggle. You know, I'm not saying it wasn't a struggle, but at the same time it was like god was just like hey, I know you, you're gonna need help because you're still really immature. And if all of this pressure is on you, you're going to quit, because you're a quitter.
Speaker 4:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:He's factored it in. Man, he had that mentality. He knows what we need.
Speaker 3:It's too hard, I'm done.
Speaker 1:My first year of LCU, Pastor Ron talked me into going.
Speaker 2:And my first year of.
Speaker 1:LCU'm like same thing. I'm like how am I going to pay for this? And so I'm I'm preferably seeking god, and I feel, in my spirit I was smoking cigarettes. Yeah, it was the cigarettes. Yeah, and god, I feel. God asked me how much you spent on your cigarettes. Check this out. I think the classes were 160 dollars for a month, I think it was, and so I do the math in my head on what I spent on cigarettes. It was 160 dollars. Well, the guy was like what do you want more?
Speaker 3:dang dude, I literally quit smoking, that's awesome so I could go to lcu.
Speaker 1:I've been in my first year there, incredible I mean, and it was. It was one of those things in my life where how bad do you want god, how bad do you want what god has for you, you know, I mean, and I literally I made it work bro. Yeah, I mean, I did that first year. It was pretty cool, that's really cool.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, that first year that found it's like a great foundational year yeah of laying out the basics of our faith.
Speaker 1:We were right here in one of these little kids rooms right here across the hall man it was crazy same thing had to set up. I think chum was doing chum was doing the the audio yeah yeah, now he's. Now he's the Dean of yeah, yeah, so crazy, those little moments where you never know where God's going to take those little yeses, right, and so, yeah, so I'm, I'm going through Bible school, all at the same time.
Speaker 3:I'm really into this girl named Tiffany. So at the same time, I'm in, I'm doing the internship, I'm doing Bible school, I'm doing all these things and I'm written, I'm getting to hang out with my brother, um, and you know the young life young.
Speaker 3:you're in your twenties, have all the energy, so you're doing the fun late night hangouts on the weekends and stuff like that, and so I'm hanging out with my brother, hanging out with Danielle, who's my sister-in-law now, and then Tiffany, and we're all hanging out, we're all just developing this great friendship and I'm like, and so my sister-in-law, danielle, really liked my brother. So this is before any of us were married. She really liked my brother and I really liked Tiffany, and both of them were not interested in us at all and so we would like get together and just be like I just love her so much.
Speaker 3:She's so pretty and she's like I just love your brother so much she's so you know, just like funny things like that. So then it was at this camp experience we were all serving in the student camp that we had, and it was our youth pastor. He was. Him and his wife were just about to leave LifeLink because for years they felt like God was moving them to California to plant a church in the OC. And now it was time, Now they had had all the conversations with our pastors the transition plant, all that stuff.
Speaker 3:It was all kind of coming to a head now which was a really great season for them. It's hard when family leaves us like that but at the same time, looking back, going thank God, because look at what their church, their church is doing incredible things. Lifelink's doing incredible things, so we celebrate that now.
Speaker 3:So we're having this last camp with our youth pastors oh it's so sad and so we're all serving this, and it was there where I was. So y'all you can pause and laugh when I say this, because but I really did all these things I'm about to say. So I had this moment where I was so like, just like pastor dave is there and he's like hey, god told me, if you really want to hear from god tonight, he's here. Excuse me, he is there. And he's like hey, god told me, if you really want to hear from God tonight, he's here. Excuse me, he's here and he's going to speak to you.
Speaker 3:And I'm like great, I got some things to ask you. And so I'm like God, like I really like this girl, and I'm so annoyed that I like her because she doesn't like me at all. So I'm asking you right now take this desire away from me to want to have any more of a relationship with her than just friendship, because I don't want her to feel like uncomfortable or whatever it is yeah, I just I don't want to feel this to her anymore.
Speaker 3:but then I felt this tiny little thing where I felt like I was just like like no, I, no, I'm not, like that's who I want you to be with, and like a very dumb, immature 20 year old, I immediately went up to her after service and said hey, God told me that I'm supposed to he didn't tell me that.
Speaker 3:So then she goes she goes, Joshua, this is not about us. We're here to serve this camp. We're here to be ministry leaders. This is not about us. Don't talk to me the rest of the time.
Speaker 1:Oh, I was like okay.
Speaker 3:And but, but again it was like that. That again I can't explain. But I'm like really said this, and what?
Speaker 4:she did.
Speaker 3:And so, um, then at the on the last day, she said okay, excuse me. So, okay, I'm going to take the next week, I'm going to pray about this. I don't want you to text me, I don't want you to call me, I don't want you to connect with anything, I just want to pray and figure out what God is trying to say to me. Okay, so she goes and prays and is being intentional with this, and day one God shows her that we're supposed to be together.
Speaker 2:So at the end of the week she spends the next six days. Are you sure, god, are you?
Speaker 1:sure Trying to talk God out of it.
Speaker 3:So then she comes over, we can connect and she's like, hey, you know, god showed me the same thing he was showing you. I'm probably like a dumb idiot. Big smile on my face Like yeah.
Speaker 4:I got my girl.
Speaker 3:And then so then we started dating and then, at the same time, my brother, um, had a really powerful moment at that camp as well, where God really just radically changed him in an incredible way and um, then Danielle, who's now my sister-in-law. They started dating shortly after that camp as well.
Speaker 4:Um, really a lot of us did it was one of those interesting camp experiences so, um, yeah, a lot of marriages, a lot of kids came out of that.
Speaker 3:But um, but so we love babies, so we dated after that, um, within a year we got engaged, and then that next summer we were married. Come on, man yeah and so it was incredible again, those incredible things um that god set you up. And if you um don't know, my wife is above and beyond anything. I ever could have thought or imagined that I would get in a wife. She is so unbelievably beautiful.
Speaker 3:She makes me want to be a better person all the time. She makes me feel so fulfilled in so many different ways and she really helps and honors really our household and really um, you know, just um in what she does and what she brings, the gifts that she brings to our house.
Speaker 3:she really makes my life better in every single way amen and I'm I'm seriously, I would not be 10 of who I am now if it wasn't for her and what I've had to learn about being a husband and being someone who isn't selfish and someone who had to learn to become selfless to serve his wife, which, if you don't know, that's really a big part of what a husband does is.
Speaker 4:he selflessly serves his house, he leads his home.
Speaker 3:God tells us we're leaders in the home, but part of that leadership is loving your wife. Like christ loved the church. What did christ do for the church? He?
Speaker 3:laid his life down um, which is the best thing you can do to show someone you love them so constantly, every day I'm learning those little new things and you know 21 at this time learning, growing through super hard, frustrating things and you know all the you know insecurities that I had you know coming excuse me, bringing all the insecurities I had you know into the marriage and growing through those things with her and wow being so dumb as a young man and just all of these things that she was like like I'm here, I'm not leaving, I'm not, you know just.
Speaker 3:And we grew and grew closer and closer together and, man, I love being able to do life with her. She's literally the perfect wife that. I needed and that God gifted me with. She really is and um, and I hope that I'm the perfect husband that you know she needed as well, which she tells me which is pretty proud of you, buddy, I see on social a lot she loves you.
Speaker 3:But again, what I loved, it is like you think you know, you know you're going into a marriage and you have. I have no context. I didn't have a dad. I didn't have a marriage to look up to. You know, I mean my grandparents were. Were they together? Yeah, yeah, but again, it's like as my core nuclear family, I didn't have a dad. I had a mom who's single, so I'm like I don't know how to be a husband that's real.
Speaker 2:I don't know how to lead my home.
Speaker 3:A good, I just kind of take, I'm just in the back seat. I'm like whatever we got to do, just you know. So learning those things, and then her having the grace and the really the, the expectation to challenge me and say this is what you need to do. This is what I'm expecting thank god because I'm an absolute better human and man and father because of it, and so we have two kids who I'm so unbelievably in love with. My daughter Roxanne, who's nine years old, my son Jude, who's a wild animal.
Speaker 4:A wild animal Takes after his dad man.
Speaker 3:But just both of them. Love the church, love God passionately. They're here so much and they love being here. The days where I pick my son up on Fridays, are we going to the church? No, but we're going home.
Speaker 4:Oh, I don't know but I'll be there every other day this week.
Speaker 3:But you know, just watching them grow up and love the church and starting to have that passion to just want to be here, and be with their friends in community and come on, man.
Speaker 4:It's so fun, it's so rewarding and um especially my daughter she's.
Speaker 3:It's really fun watching her. She's always been so inquisitive of god and the Bible, and so she's um always been deep thinker.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, questions. Yeah, man, what about this?
Speaker 3:Why does the devil? Why did the devil do this? Why do we? You know all these real fun deep keeps you guys on your toes. Yeah, it's fun to have these like kind of like you know my daughter like well, here's why we do this. Let me show you the scripture.
Speaker 3:Let me show you what this come on man and then even this year um having her. I'm opening up my bible that my grandparents gave me um and letting her read to us, out of you know, the book of psalms, and just you know her struggling through some of the you know phrasings I'm like hey, I know this isn't like you know, your cool graphic novels that you like to read.
Speaker 3:But you know, but having her do that and watching, just I'm like, hey, you led us in a devotion. Right now you read the word to us. Thank you for doing that. It's so fun.
Speaker 2:You're training them up. You know what I?
Speaker 1:love about that is you're not telling them because we said so.
Speaker 2:Oh God, oh my God, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4:There are those moments but, but I mean, but when it comes to the things, of scripture.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're taking them to the bible doing it together this is why. This is why we do this. Yeah, or this is why you know. You're giving them context to why versus he grew up with the we go every week. Because we go every week.
Speaker 4:That's what we do, because I'm telling you, you know what I mean, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so for you guys to spend that time and give them the context of why they're never going to question or second guess why we're doing this?
Speaker 2:Because they know.
Speaker 1:Because now they know, they know they have the scriptural context to say no, I go to church every Sunday because my Bible says this or we treat other people this way because my Bible says this, absolutely, that's right. Not because mom and dad told me. So you know what I mean. So now she has something that she can stand on when someone questions her. You know why do you guys do this. You know now she can say now she has, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she's having conversations with mormons at her school at her school.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh but which?
Speaker 3:is I'm encouraging her to have those conversations and talk to people about god and she's still finding her. You know, she's very, very reserved. If she's not around her, people yeah, um, and so you know she, but she's. You know, voicing this is what I do, this is what I believe, and all that stuff. And I remember there was a moment where this one person was asking her something and she's like I don't know what to say. So I told him well, my dad's a pastor and he knows.
Speaker 2:And I'm like that's okay, rob, amen, honey, you can use that one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and so it's just funny, but but loves to and and she here's my favorite thing right now she's recognizing when god answers her prayers she's recognizing she said hey dad, remember how we prayed for this person who was being mean to me?
Speaker 4:they haven't been mean to me for two weeks, little things like that. Where?
Speaker 3:I'm like yes, god keeps showing her that you're real, you're faithful. Come on, it's not just me saying it, it's you showing it. So, it's so, it's so fun. And so are there hard times being a parent as you know, absolutely. No, it's all. Do you know, do I blow my stack and do I get angry with my kids? Yes, Because, that stinking anger can if.
Speaker 3:I'm in an unhealthy place can be the driver sometimes. But one thing I'm really intentional to do I'm not always perfect about it, but I'm really intentional to is apologize to my kids.
Speaker 1:Oh, come on now.
Speaker 4:And to pull them aside and say here's the situation. I have.
Speaker 3:Here's what daddy did. That was wrong, come on.
Speaker 1:And I want to tell you, I'm sorry, share pastor josh with you, yeah, okay. So when my kids were younger, I was a screamer yeller, throw stuff for all those different things right, and god made it very clear talk to your kids, you know what I mean, and so there's times where I would get mad.
Speaker 1:I would yell and scream. You know what I mean, yeah, and I same thing. I would go back in there and, hey, I'm sorry, I shouldn't. I shouldn't yell at you like that. I had a bad day. There's no reason to take it out on you. You know what I mean and I would have the same kind of conversations you're having and I watched as my youngest son grew older. He began to have these anger moments where he would have a bad day and he would lash out and he would come back around.
Speaker 4:That's right.
Speaker 2:Hey, dad would lash out and he would come back around right, hey dad, I'm really sorry, man, I didn't mean to yell at you.
Speaker 1:I was just after a certain period of time, I mean, but he would, but after he calmed down and realized he would come back.
Speaker 2:God would tell him and that's what.
Speaker 1:That's what you're doing is you're teaching your, your daughter and your son that you know you're gonna have a bad day, but make sure you come back around, sure, and apologize, and and and let somebody know hey, I didn't mean to treat you that way you know what I mean and it's so crucial, bro, it really is, because now he's doing it with his girlfriend and their kid, when you know what I mean when you don't show your kids.
Speaker 1:It's okay to apologize. It'll always be somebody else's problem or somebody else's fault. Or somebody else's fault or why do I need to apologize? They were the one that did this they were mean to me.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean and so kudos to you for that.
Speaker 1:That's great, that's so proud.
Speaker 3:I love what you just said, because when we teach our kids, we can either teach our kids the truth or we can teach our kids through our inaction as well. And so you know our inaction could show them exactly what you said. Yeah, I just say it's someone else's fault and then we don't even realize we're raising up little victims who are going to hold on to come on and point the finger.
Speaker 4:That's really good. That's a good reminder.
Speaker 3:Man, I feel encouraged by that amen, um, but no, yeah. So this it's been, and that part of my life when I got married, um when, what year did you get married? I got married in August of 2012. Oh wow, August 17, 2012.
Speaker 1:Out of the three scenarios that you could have learned how to be a husband.
Speaker 1:You got the second best one. You know what I mean, because you could have had a dad in your life who was a godly man and showed you how to leave, or you could have had a dad in your life who showed you the things you should have learned. You know what I mean. So you kind of went into it with this raw material kind of aspect where you didn't really know one way or the other. So God had this opportunity to cultivate a good husband.
Speaker 2:God became his father.
Speaker 1:And your wife got to help you. Hey, this is what I'm looking for.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Where me I went into with this preconceived notion of what a husband was A man. Who was not a godly man Right who screamed, yelled, drank, smoked all these other different things. You know what I mean. So I mean sometimes not having. I don't want to say that, but the situation you were faced with was probably pretty decent for you in an aspect of you got to learn while you were doing it versus learning a bad way to do it. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Listen, god. I believe in the power of scripture and God is so clear in his word Romans 8, 28,. He says he's working all things for the good of those who love him and are called according to his word.
Speaker 2:I love you lord.
Speaker 3:And so, for me, I look back and I have those moments where, man, I wonder what my life would have looked like if I would have stayed in Texas. You know what? I mean yeah and then I look at those and go man even though obviously that's probably God's original intent yeah, what he?
Speaker 3:wanted me to have, and he doesn't want anyone to have a broken family yeah but at the same time, God, thank you that I got to Arizona and my grandparents found Pastor Dave and found lifelink and I get to serve and have so much fulfillment in this, in this life, that I have, you know, and I found my wife here you know, just all of those little things you can look at and say I could hold on to this tiny little thing of bitterness of this, one thing didn't work out in my life from the beginning. Or I could look at it and say but look at God's faithfulness and goodness infused all throughout the journey of my life.
Speaker 1:I love what you just said because, even though God doesn't want us to live those experiences, we end up living it. Like you just said, he works all the things for the good of those who believe. Experiences we end up living, like you just said he works all the things for the good of those who believes, even in those times where he wished it would have been different for you he was shaping in your character building your character in those aspects, preparing him.
Speaker 1:Because I had somebody ask me one time if you could go back and avoid going to prison, would you, would you do that? And I I was like no, no, no, I wouldn't it sounds weird to say I totally understand.
Speaker 3:It led me to where?
Speaker 1:I am today Because, if I went, back to miss out on my second term of prison. I would have never met my wife.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they were pen pals, my kid would never be here today.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean and those experiences helped shape me into who I am. You know what I mean. Those experiences helped build my character and helped me fortify myself and know that I can overcome tough situations. So if I went back and changed that, maybe I wouldn't be the person I am today. Sure, you know what I mean and I love who I am today.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But it took those experiences to make me who I am today, so I wouldn't change those for nothing.
Speaker 3:That's so good man. Yeah, that's so powerful. It is and you're right. And then you carry all of those character shaping times of what God did in you and, honestly for me, I'm so grateful for the I know I mentioned this earlier, but the men who spoke into my life too.
Speaker 4:Yeah, man, and who poured into me the things they were pouring into me.
Speaker 3:I had no idea that I would need those things for the seasons. I would walk in later and you know they were always within a text or a call or in earshot to you know. If there were things of hey, here's how I'll give you a good example. So, pastor Dave, I was I always would just let my wife drive me. Because, I didn't like driving. I'm like I'll get in the front seat. I'll be a passenger, prince.
Speaker 4:That's fine.
Speaker 3:And she would always drive, and he pulled me aside with it. This is gonna sound so like that, not a big deal, but for me it. It really changed my perspective on and how to be a husband. And he pulled me aside. He's like, hey, I know that you've never had anyone show you this, um, or teach you this, but let me tell you what happens when you are behind the wheel of a car instead of your wife. What you're showing her is a level of security and it's an affirmation to say to her hey, I got you.
Speaker 4:I'm leading us, I'm taking us. Come on, man.
Speaker 3:And it was this little thing of like just from driving.
Speaker 1:But, again.
Speaker 3:it was that it's showing her no no, no. Let me get that door for you.
Speaker 1:You sit here, I'll take us to this, you know, come on.
Speaker 3:And so, from then on, and are there times when?
Speaker 4:we're going road trips and she'll drive.
Speaker 3:For sure, cause I really don't like driving.
Speaker 4:Neither do I buddy At the same time, like I'm very intentional.
Speaker 3:I go okay, and it's not. And that little tiny lesson was hey, it's not just in the. This is going to sound real cheesy.
Speaker 4:It's not just in the driver's seat, in the actual car, but it's in.
Speaker 3:Everything else I could just go, hey, just whatever you want to do, and it's like, but there's something that speaks to the material part of the inside of her.
Speaker 2:They want to be led, and her makeup when I say hang on a second.
Speaker 3:Here's how we need to think through this. Yeah, hey, I know that we're doing this big giving thing at church. Here's what god told me that we're supposed to do.
Speaker 4:I know that's a scary number.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's what belief you know, I mean there's, there's something that speaks to her heart when I, when I step up and I lead in that way. Am I perfect at it? No, but at the same time, I want to be as intentional as I can, because I know what it's going to do for her on the other side, and so again those little things that you don't know here. You know, when your leaders say hey, try this. And then it's like whoa, it unlocks something you want yourself yeah yeah, you're helping people in my house.
Speaker 1:My wife and my daughter are very picky eaters, and so I always I'll eat anything. What do you guys want? Except spicy and it's and so it's like I don't know, you know what I mean. And there's times where I call and I'm like I grab kfc on my way home, all right, cool, you know what I mean and they're like we don't have to decide.
Speaker 2:Yeah just get dinner and bring it home.
Speaker 1:And as much as I'm trying to help them and let them pick what they want, because they're picky, there's times where they just bring us food man.
Speaker 4:You know what I mean and I see like there was dinner the other day.
Speaker 1:I just made dinner, you know what I mean. They asked what they wanted. I just made dinner, you know, I mean did ask what they wanted, just made dinner and they were like oh wow, cool you know, and it was just so kind of along with what you're saying, man, just sometimes we just need to take the lead and just decide, yeah, what the house is doing yeah and the people that are in it.
Speaker 3:We're going to be appreciative of that, you know I mean I love that, and so like I'm not an expert in marriage at all, what I have really learned learned Miles Monroe, Dr Miles Monroe. But what I hope, what I've, what I have learned, I want to like give some helpful hints, if there's any.
Speaker 3:You know, husbands or people who want to be married eventually. Something that helped unlock total fulfillment in me as a husband was learning a couple things. So number one was learning a couple things. So number one you have to learn that going into a marriage, you are coming in to die to yourself. You're coming in. So two people, a man and a woman, are coming in, think about this with all of their selfishness, and they're coming in and what they're coming into. Covenant is with God, obviously, but it's also an agreement to say I'm going to choose to die to my selfishness. The woman says I'm going to choose to die to my selfishness so we can be unified, come on.
Speaker 3:So I wish I would've heard that when I was but this is something that, if you want to be married or you want to change your marriage in a real way, no there are just natural tendencies, selfish things in you that you want to do, that you have to realize. Okay, I have to die to these things and I have to come together and have a unified front with my wife, you're helping people do this. It's going to change everything in my marriage, the second thing that's a big thing.
Speaker 3:I had to learn and grow through because of what you were saying earlier that God really cultivated in me is to have a servant's heart with your wife. The second that I decided to say okay, no matter, whatever I do, I'm going to serve my wife when I'm in the house. I'm not going to be the husband who's on the couch, says you know give me a drink, give me this, do this.
Speaker 3:I'm just enjoying, you know, a ufc fight or I'm just you know, now does she do these things for me when you enjoy a ufc fight. Yes, you're blessed um but I want to outdo myself that's so good I want to say what?
Speaker 3:what are the? Here's the thing you don't just do things and then hope it works out yeah you have to figure out what is it that your wife actually needs from. Oh man, and that's going to speak the most volume. So for my wife, acts of service are huge doing those little things for her, filling up her water, having a clean kitchen when she comes home. I love doing the dishes. I you know, I love oh, you're a rare breed.
Speaker 1:I love loading my dishwasher it's my the women love to watch that bud.
Speaker 2:I think it's the sexiest thing a man doing dishes, but again it's hey.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much for cooking.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm gonna take care of the kids right you know what I mean.
Speaker 4:It's that teamwork. It's that teamwork it's.
Speaker 3:I'm not just gonna go hey, you got the kids, you got the this like it. No, it's what is gonna maximize her heart being open to me and it took a long time to figure that out by the way gifts she could care less about. She's an experienced person yeah so I remember I would buy her watches, I I'd buy her things, I'd get her, I bought you this massage rubber and none of it would be meaningful or fruitful, in a sense of like oh great.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 3:I'd be, like I can't find anything that you like. What's?
Speaker 4:wrong with you? Why can't you just receive a gift?
Speaker 3:She receives gifts in a different way.
Speaker 2:And so I want your time, yeah.
Speaker 3:But learning okay. Time yeah and so, but learning okay, it's an experience with her. So we don't get each other. This is gonna sound weird, but we don't get each other gifts all the time for like christmas or birthdays.
Speaker 3:Instead we go, hey, let's go do some yeah yeah, that's good, you know, live life, that yeah fills her all the way up, yeah that's what I want for her come on, and so for me I learned if I can figure out how to serve her yeah and when I did. Man, I'm telling y'all those little things get her water clean, have the kitchen clean, help her put the kids to bed, help her, you know, send her away and say, hey, go to a coffee shop and just have fun, go shopping.
Speaker 3:Let me want, let me hang out with the kids when you get home, I'll have this, this, like those little things like that breathe so much life and fulfillment and turn her heart open to me yeah when I'm not doing those things and when we as husbands don't do the things that our wife needs to and it's the reversal is the same way absolutely it closes their hearts to us and for years. I'm like why does it feel like there's?
Speaker 4:this contention.
Speaker 3:There's this, there's something that's missing, and it was because I held on to my selfishness and I didn't learn how, and I wasn't a servant. And so here's the amazing thing about my relationship with my wife is she's taught me how to be a selfless servant leader, which, praise God, comes into play in ministry as well.
Speaker 1:Amen.
Speaker 3:When I can learn how? I don't care that I'm in. I got to be front row on the, you know, on Sunday morning. I don't care.
Speaker 2:if I have to, I'd rather be in the back Like.
Speaker 3:I'm going to do whatever I can to serve the house when I'm serving the house. You know what I mean, and so again, it's that selfless heart to say I want to serve you with everything I am because I care about you and I love you. And I want to lay down my selfishness, to lift you up. And so those are two big things.
Speaker 3:I think if a lot of people realize that marriage wasn't about getting something out of it, but giving something. I think it would save a lot of marriages going in, you know, and listen to your wife.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Don't listen just to respond. Don't do nice things to keep a listen Look what.
Speaker 4:I did.
Speaker 2:Don't you got to do this for me?
Speaker 1:People are like I don't know what she wants. You know what I mean. It's like you're not really listening to her, that's it.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, because she's telling you she, she's telling you, she's telling you Listen, that's so good.
Speaker 3:So again, I love being a husband to her. It's so rewarding, it's so fulfilling.
Speaker 1:You guys are a powerful couple, bro.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you saying that the kingdom is just blessed because you guys are together Well, I'm literally just thinking about the ministry that you're over, bro, and how these students don't have dads. Yeah, we are in the biggest fatherless generation ever.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's unfortunate.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 3:And, statistically, what they're saying about Gen Alpha is they're going to be the biggest generation to have single-parent homes. Wow, so that's my daughter's generation. Wow, which hearing that is unbelievably heartbreaking. But you're right. There's a cultural problem right now in our society where either mothers or fathers aren't there for their kids, and kids are growing up not knowing anything other than what a broken home feels like you can speak right to it. 100%, yeah, 100%, man, 100%.
Speaker 1:And God's given you some experiences, brother.
Speaker 2:Even though it's just grew up in the church, so you can relate to some of these kids that you get to minister to brother, Because you're going to get kids that are going to come in with people that parents said were addicted 100%.
Speaker 1:Or parents that had no dad or vice versa, and God's given you those life experiences for this. You can relate to these kiddos this time, so you can understand him and and help them go through and see him and and I pray that you, you're a pastor dave to some of these guys oh man the way that he invested in you and took the time to you, and god's shown you a lot of things, brother, and how to do what you're doing.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean and he gave you good leaders to show you the way.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean yeah, honestly, like I'm so grateful for our amazing pastor pastor dave, like I don't just say that like what he did for my life changed my life completely. Yeah, um, it did it. Just everything that he spoke into me, everything he did the, the car rides, the lunches, the, every all those little things that he invested his time in with me made a macro difference that I think about every day.
Speaker 3:Come on um on wednesday nights when I'm here. Uh, youth, and you know I get the absolute privilege of, you know, being the youth ministry I grew up and I get to now be a part of helping lead. That it's just.
Speaker 2:I never would have thought that when I was 15 years old, Breaking couches and throwing stuff, but you know just you never know how God's going to work in now to be able to serve under my pastor in that capacity who has?
Speaker 3:been like a father to me and who is like my spiritual father and who shapes me and grows me still helps me, still, still, still.
Speaker 4:You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Like none of us ever arrive, we're always in process of thinking, growing all that stuff and takes the time to still say, hey, think about it this way and unlocks this massive thing that I'm like how did I? Never see this before. You know, he found he found me in the kitchen this week and unlocks this massive thing that I'm like how did I never see this before?
Speaker 2:You know? Um, he found, he found me in the kitchen this week and is like with where God's bringing you, man, we need to get that budget into play.
Speaker 4:And I'm like I want to look at my finances, Ah it's like where God's taking you.
Speaker 2:You need to get that stuff in order, buddy.
Speaker 3:I'm like. And so again, it's stuff like that from him, and then it's just the love and the he's. He's always so quick to look at me in the eyes and say, hey, you're built for this, you can do this, I believe in you, and just that alone that bro, that alone man, when that man, yeah, when he tells you I don't know why it is, bro, but it's like it's like a shot of adrenaline.
Speaker 3:Yeah why it is, bro, but it's like it's like a shot of adrenaline. Yeah, it's like god using him. I'm like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna save a thousand people this year because he said that.
Speaker 4:You know what I mean. It feels like man.
Speaker 3:If he believes in me, come on like not only does god believe in me, and I'm fully sold out yeah, it's all for god, but when you're submitted to the leaders in your life. I love in hebrews I think it's hebrews 13, um uh talks about this, where god sends spiritual leaders into your life.
Speaker 3:Yes, to watch out for your soul yeah and I love that 13, 7, you know yeah, there it is, and so and I love thinking about that because it's like my whole life for the last, like since I was 15, I'm 34 now, so you know almost 20 years of my life this man faithfully in my heart, watching out for my soul and to think like man, god, if I can just be 10% of what Pastor Dave was to me to any of these boys that I have the privilege of leading. That will be successful to me.
Speaker 4:Do you know what?
Speaker 3:I mean, and so, just like it charges me up to go, okay, I know I can be better, I know I can be, I know I can do more, and so I just yeah, I'm, just, I'm so grateful for him. What my wife and I get to do at this church with student movement is the ministry we get to lead. Oh man, it's just so incredible watching for decades these students who have had their lives changed and who are growing and who are hungry for the word and who are desperate to just be in community together here. We've never experienced this boom of growth, spiritually and numerically too, over these last couple years, and it's just really God's faithfulness and fruitfulness and just breathing on everything. It's such a fun season.
Speaker 1:From seeing you and your wife and the way that the fire that you guys I love when you guys preach.
Speaker 2:Anytime it's Pastor Josh or Pastor Tiffany weekend, let's go. I got the fire extinguishers ready, bro, because the roof's coming off, but it's just.
Speaker 1:I mean, I haven't been to one of your youth things so I don't really know, but I can only imagine if what you do on Sunday is what you do at youth. Absolutely, you're teaching these young kids not just about. God, but you're teaching this passion and this fire for God. Love for God, this passion and this fire for God love for God.
Speaker 4:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:You're teaching them that it's okay to be enthusiastic and and and loud for God. You know what I mean.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And me personally. I'm excited for not just our church but for the church.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, cause there's a lot of young ones coming behind us.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you guys share a lot in wins and stuff on Sunday mornings about what they're doing on their own and for them to take that lead and do that stuff, it's only because of what you and your wife are doing. I hope you know that, because they only know what they see and what they're being taught and what they're learning, and their parents, of course too. But they come here looking to you guys, yeah, for guidance and for direction and things like that, and the way that you guys lead by example and I'm and not just on sundays or on youth, but in your lives the way you raise your kids, the way that you guys conduct yourselves and you know all that stuff is just examples.
Speaker 2:Parent your kids. Yeah, that's what I see, bro. You're a great dad.
Speaker 1:I'll thank you guys, our church is in good hands. Brother, know that, dude.
Speaker 3:What's coming behind us is yeah, man, if it's anything like what you and your wife are, the, the what's coming is just pure fire, bro I love hearing that because, honestly and again, to go right back to pastor and pastory, you guys were saying how, oh, if it's a pastor josh, pastor tiffany, sunday, all of that stems from them, teaching us.
Speaker 3:Here's how you do a message. Here's how you can format it. Here's how you can say that I remember those times where, man, when I first started doing messages, when I was like 17 or 16 or 17 and just being like I don't know what to say.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:We got any of those on recording around here, but just you know, and then doing you know, getting the ability to be able to you know, start and serve in our pre-teen ministry and starting what that ministry looks like at Lifelink and teaching consistently.
Speaker 3:there really is when I felt like God was growing me and kind of again I don't want to say obscurity, because I was still serving the church, but it was it was those seasons where it was like, okay, you're going to be in a hallway and there's pipe and drape and that's your room and you're going to teach every week to these 15 preteens who need to know who Jesus is.
Speaker 4:You know what I mean?
Speaker 3:It's just those, those little things like that. And then Pastor Dave and Pastor Reese going okay, here's how you can make this dynamic, here's how you know you study, here's how you do all these things that they layered on top of everything that God was doing, and that's the fruit of what you're seeing. Anytime I get the privilege of my wife gets the privilege to be on stage. You're seeing the fruit of those conversations, those trainings those teachings from our pastors.
Speaker 3:And so are there gifts that God puts inside of people that are cultivated 100%? Do I have gifts that I'm so blessed with and that I'm so privileged that God has given me 100%, but none of those gifts are cultivated if I'm not first submitted in the house and submitted under Pastor Dave and Pastor Sheree where they go.
Speaker 3:Okay, now we can start pulling some of those gifts out, because I could easily have been dumb and selfish and be like well, I like to do this and I'm going to do it my way, and I'm going to do it over here my way.
Speaker 2:Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 4:Yeah, buddy Did you hear that I'm going to go start a church.
Speaker 1:Did you hear that I'm going to go start a church. Did you hear that? Are you listening, bro?
Speaker 3:But it's the beautiful security People don't realize. This Submission is security. When you're submitting to a leader, when you're submitting to God, you're really submitting and letting.
Speaker 4:God, bring security around you.
Speaker 3:I love that picture because I mean you even see it in James 4, 7, where he says you know, resist the devil. Or it says submit to God, resist the devil and the devil fails Right, but the first thing is you got to submit and
Speaker 3:it's that God. I'm coming under you so God could come over. That's the power of submission and it's the same thing in the church when you I know, there's people on here and you might be you know the church hoppers, or you might like kind of be like I just attend a church and I'm not really all in.
Speaker 3:That's okay if you're there now, but I'm telling you there's something powerful that happens when you choose to say this is where I want to take where I want to be rooted and this is where I want do this over the course of almost 20 years, where they say, okay, I'm going to submit to god in the vision he's planted me in the church and it flourishes and it's just something so beautiful and so can you try to water the seed yourself and do everything yourself?
Speaker 4:100 could you?
Speaker 2:even see sparks of fruit doing that Probably but You're going to wear yourself out God's fruit happens in submission.
Speaker 1:Two of the best decisions I ever made, pastor Josh was getting out of the pew and starting to serve.
Speaker 3:There you go.
Speaker 1:And the second one was we talked about it earlier is to say, yeah, god, you gave us this ministry, but we're going to put this to the side and right now, in this season, we are LifeLink Church.
Speaker 2:We link people and God together for life.
Speaker 1:And once we did those two things, it all started to unfold man, I can't tell you how much different life has been bro it's so much different.
Speaker 1:Yeah it blows me away what those two things did for me personally yeah you know what I mean, and it's I don't know. There's something in those things, brother, that just god blesses. You know what I mean. And for me I mean you get people say oh, I attend this church. You know, I mean, it's like my like now, it's like my church yeah you know what I mean and, uh, I call it my church. You know what I mean it's my church. Yeah, it's not just a place I attend ownership.
Speaker 4:It's a place I'm invested in.
Speaker 1:It's a place I give my time to it's all these different things that it becomes my church. Yeah, you know I mean, and to me that was one of the biggest thing was to have my church. You know I mean, and to I think really helps that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because it just connects your heart to the house.
Speaker 1:Man, yeah, giving your money to that it's like, dude, I want to be there, your treasure is and coming and coming from my background, submitting to pastor dave was one of the hardest things for me to do brother because I was a. I'm a man. I ain't smitten to nobody you know what I mean. Telling me what to do and uh do, so that was a hard one to do For sure man. But when I did it it was like that's real. Yeah, I didn't even tell Pastor Dave. I don't know what this looks like, bro. I've never done this before.
Speaker 2:What did he tell you? He's like I'm going to be watching you.
Speaker 3:He's like people he's all. People come in with great intentions so I'm just going to be watching to make sure your words, max your intentions. You know and here's the great thing too. What he was also saying is, when you said that to him, yeah, it allowed his heart to go. Okay, god, help me see him in a different way. Now you know what I mean. So now god can show him where before. If you're just kind of like a part of attending and just kind of like him in a different way.
Speaker 1:Now you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:So now god can show him what he's doing over here where before, if you're just kind of like a part of attending and just kind of like I'm not really all in I just kind of show up sometimes in life you know, it's not that he's so good, so he sees every single person that comes in our church right, but again there's something different that shifts in the mind of leader when they say, okay, there's someone who's invested yeah there's someone who's planted god. What are you doing?
Speaker 3:yeah, come on where, if it's someone who breezes by every couple months you're not intentionally. Oh god, what are you doing?
Speaker 4:yeah, what's their name? You know, like it's just it's just.
Speaker 3:But again, it's not that, that's not his heart. He wants everyone that attends to be planted, but at the same time, when you choose to say I'm taking, I'm being.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be rooted here and submit here, it allows god to show him.
Speaker 3:Yeah, here's what I need eddie to do I don't have the time to eddie.
Speaker 1:I don't have the time with him that you and rowdy do, but the time that I do, I pay attention oh, that's so good and I watch and there was one time we had a guest on the podcast and him and Pastor Sheree were here and Pastor Sheree took his wife and was showing around him and Pastor Dave sat down and I sat down.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Didn't talk. I was listening. I love it. I was paying attention to Pastor Dave and how Pastor Dave interacted with this guy, right, and so this guy is talking and all this other stuff. And he asked Pastor Dave so what do you think? You know what I mean? And most people would have been like blah blah, blah blah blah blah Say what they think and you see, I'm watching Pastor Dave and I'm like he ain't saying nothing. Dude, he's thinking.
Speaker 2:And you just see him.
Speaker 1:He's like just quiet for a second, you know, he's like I mean, it seemed like an eternity, but it was probably only 30, 45 seconds, but he was like well, you know, you know what I mean, but you could see the wheels in his head turning. I can only imagine he was like God. What do you want me to say in this?
Speaker 2:Yeah, what's this guy looking for? What does he need to hear from you?
Speaker 1:And Don't just respond to somebody. Take a moment and seek God in the moment and ask God what's going on. You know what I mean. And it was man. To this day, I pause when I talk to people, bro. You know what I mean Because of that one moment that I saw him and I'd seen. God allowed me to see what was going on. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah it's pretty cool bro.
Speaker 3:That's so good, man, it I'm reminded. And if you're thinking, wow, he just pulls out of these.
Speaker 2:I know right, I just preached on this last week. He is a pastor, but in Proverbs 4, solomon.
Speaker 3:He's writing to his sons and towards the end of the chapter he says son, pay attention to my words, let them penetrate your heart because they'll bring life to your body. And I love that so much because it's it's again. It's a father telling him hey, when, when you hear the words of god, yeah, pay attention. Yeah, you need to let them penetrate your heart.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because they're going to bring life, life spiritual life spiritual well yeah, the infusing of god's power, let those words hit, and so it's the same way in our, when our leaders are speaking to us if we're submitted to them, it's like, okay, if my pastor's connecting me on something I'm not thinking about, I wonder if the bills are going to win on Sunday.
Speaker 2:Be in the moment, be where your feet are.
Speaker 3:God wants to probably say something to me right now. So I'm dialed in, I'm looking at him in the eyes and I'm like, okay, god in the eyes and I'm like, okay, god, help me receive everything. I may not remember word for what, everything he says, but let my spirit receive what you're speaking yeah, you know, yeah, so I love that you brought, that, that's so good.
Speaker 1:Another thing we saw we was. We were here on a friday night recording an episode pastor shree had her blue sky thing on saturday and we're sitting here waiting for the guest pastor.
Speaker 2:Dave shows up, backs the car up opens the thing, unloads 15 totes and all this stuff.
Speaker 1:He starts unloading all these tables and it blew me away. I'm like what are you doing? He's like I'm setting up for Pastor Cherie tomorrow and I was like holy crap, I'm like this dude's a head pastor of our church, but yet here he is at 8 o'clock.
Speaker 4:Serving his wife On a.
Speaker 1:Friday night preparing for his wife. This is what I saw right Is that her things are just as vitally, as important to him Ooh-wee. That he will take his time to go set up and invest in her. Wow, and the ministry God has her doing, yeah, so good, and that he will come and set up. You know what I mean? I was like wow, I told him, you're really here to set up. He's like of course, Eddie.
Speaker 2:It blew his mind. Bro, I was leaving and locking. I'm like pastor, what you did today blew my dad's mind. He's like why? It's like pastor guys just don't get it pastor, but that would you see his heart?
Speaker 1:it's real, and not just his heart but his heart for his wife and how he wants to serve her and her. Like you were talking. Yeah, you serve his heart. Come up, I mean, he could have probably called somebody and had him come do it, you know what I mean. But there he was serving his wife, setting up for her so she could come in the next day and and do her thing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, it was beautiful, see what's so beautiful about that is because what? Teamwork what he knows in that moment is it's actually drawing her heart closer to him come on man and it's drawing his heart closer to her come on god I'm partnering up with you yeah, I'm building into you as you're getting able to do this thing that brings so much fulfillment and so much life change to other people. Come on, and I'm part of that. We're not two separate siloed people.
Speaker 1:It's that selflessness. Yes, come on, man man. You guys are helping people. This is great.
Speaker 2:That's so good where are we, man? Where are you? So did we? I don't know where we?
Speaker 1:I think we're at uh what you believe in god for in the future brother.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, go big man, we got a big God.
Speaker 4:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3:Well, as you guys both know, I've been on a healing journey, for I got diagnosed several years ago back in like 2017, with a rare blood cancer called MFCTCL Mycotes fungoides, cutaneous T T cell lymphoma. For all you doctors listening.
Speaker 2:Um, but I speak Jesus over that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I'm so, I'm believing. I'm really believing. They say that it's an incurable cancer. Um, praise God, um it's dormant right now, which means it's not moving, or progressing. It's stayed dormant for ever since they've discovered it, which is good, um, but it causes it. So what this blood cancer does is it attacks the skin yeah and so I have lots of like marks all over my body, red kind of like marks all over my body okay, um, that are painful okay and um, so I've had that since I was around 18 or 19.
Speaker 3:Never knew what it was, never knew like I would see all these marks on. I would go to dermatologists. They're like I don't know what this is. It's probably just a rash. Take this. Wow, it was oh, wow so and then?
Speaker 3:several years later got diagnosed with it because I had this really bad staph infection on my side from one of the things. And then, um, my wife's like, oh my god, you need to go in and get that taken care of, like what. And so I'm like, okay, so I get this antibiotic. And then the doctor's like all right, like have you ever got any of these? Um cultured before like a biopsy? And I'm like no one's ever even offered that, because I'm like do whatever you think, if it's gonna help you figure out what's going on with me?
Speaker 2:so he does.
Speaker 3:And then weeks later he was like hey, I think you have this. I'm sending you to specialists. Here's how, here's how faithful god is. I'm sending you to um the countries one of the countries like number one specialist who treats this, and she's 15 minutes away from your house and so, um, yeah, I get to meet with her.
Speaker 3:She confirms the diagnosis and says, hey, there's lots of treatments. Okay, we won't ever be at a spot where we can cure this, but we can get it to where you can manage it oh, so if, if you get cured of it and it's not there, they'll know it's god 100.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, yeah all right.
Speaker 3:So that was you know. It's very scary hearing that yeah, of course we're talking over you and especially, I think I was like just had roxanne yeah, when it happened, so I was probably like oh yeah, or she was maybe like a year old or something like that. So I was, you know, 24 it's the start of my family. Yeah, yeah and then you know, looking at you know the worst thing you can do.
Speaker 3:Looking on the internet, what could this progress to seeing the image so, um, so again, but that whole time really going. Okay, god, I'm trusting yeah eventually you are going to fully eradicate this out of my body and totally heal me I really am believing, for that sure.
Speaker 3:And there's moments where you know the enemy lies to me and says well, you know, this is just part of your, your testimony. You got, you're going to have this so you can be able to speak into people you know, almost like using the God kind of language against me Like, hey, you're not going to ever be healed from this but God will use it as a way you know.
Speaker 3:I'm like look whatever God wants to do and however he wants to heal me, that's on God. I just have the faith to believe for it. But I'm really done letting the enemy think get me to start thinking like you know what I'm good if this stays, and that is what it is, and I'll just have to manage the rest of my life. I'm believing, truly.
Speaker 4:We have our belief for it. Cards at Life, number one.
Speaker 3:That's my number one this year. It hasn't been my number one for years, but it's my number one this year, come on, god, yeah, so that's, that's a big one, I know that's, you know more of a personal one. I really, a couple of years ago, really started to have a passion for writing worship music.
Speaker 4:Come on man.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes I don't sing on a regular basis, like in the worship team or anything like that. I don't play any instruments at all, but it's really cool to watch. God just has been over. And here's the great thing I bring in Pastor Lacey, pastor James in the process.
Speaker 2:So good.
Speaker 3:Because they're our band director, our worship pastor, and so I'm like hey, here's something I recorded, here's something I wrote. Here you go. And so you know we had that one yeah.
Speaker 2:The one song the green shirt, yeah, yeah Conquer.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so the little things like that, where I'm just like this is so interesting, god just gives me these little melodies, these little lyrics. I'm just like whenever I feel like he says hey, write this down, okay. Lyrics. I'm just like whenever I feel like he says hey, write this down, okay, I write it down.
Speaker 3:And again it's one of those things where it's like I, I never pursued this, never, you know, thought that this would be something, but I but I really start, I'm starting to feel like, hey, this is for something, for lifelink our church yeah, and so I just want to steward it well. So again, just to be intentional with listening, and you know, here when I hear something or feel something, to capture it, write down, record it, you know all that kind of stuff. It's just, it's a lot of fun for me you know.
Speaker 2:So that's. It's one of those things. It fills your tank. Yeah, Love that. It's a lot of fun.
Speaker 3:Love that personally. But, um, because and it's probably god, I know that there's like a couple books. I feel like god has said like here's an idea I want you to run with, come on, so I have like the outline state and stuff like that okay but again, like I said in the beginning, I a lot of times will feel like that's not me. I don't want to. I just want to focus on ministering. You know all these, like you know, I'll excuse my way out of not doing something I'm a master at that, yeah like I'm not a writer, like I don't, I can't put coherent thoughts together, like why would you ask me to?
Speaker 1:you know that's why he's gonna ask you yeah, that's why?
Speaker 3:but so I think this year because you all take the credit for it it's all him, everybody will know, yeah, yeah and so there's some things like that too that I think are fun dreams that God's like but scary at the same time.
Speaker 4:Whoa, what could that?
Speaker 3:look like. I think that those are some of the big things when I look down the pipeline of like things that I would love to see be fruitful for the ministry and fruitful for the ministry and fruitful for you know, to help advance people's journey with God.
Speaker 3:Like that's that's really what those things are in alignment with Um. Whatever else God wants to do with that is awesome. And then really, I really feel like in this year, specifically the um, you know how everyone says all right, god, look for what. What's the word God's going to give you this year?
Speaker 4:You know how everyone says all right, god, look for what's the word God's going to give you this year. It's strength.
Speaker 3:God gave me two words, and when he said, he told me in December this is what your 2025 is going to be, and I remember when he said it I was like all right, sounds great. And then showed me the picture, he just said hey, in 2025, do more. And so I'm like okay, I feel like I'm doing this, this and this. And then he's like uh-huh, do more do more, he's like.
Speaker 3:I want you to read more. I want you to study more. I want you to develop leaders more. I want you to invest in students more. Um, specific students. I'm going to show you. I want you to teach them. Like all. He's like just get ready, do more.
Speaker 2:And so I'm feeling that you're doing the pastor dave thing. Yeah, and so here's. Here's the cool thing it.
Speaker 3:That didn't feel like a burden and I didn't find a way to go. Oh, but god, what about? Like I felt almost a charge when he spoke it to me and I felt this like, oh, like, and then and so I've been really into like um sounds weird, but collecting theology books, so like for like my personal library, to study and stuff like that. And it started like probably a couple years ago and I'm like I just want to have the most content I have available, like at any point. Yeah, and it was like god was showing me like all of these things that you've been getting on for christmas and for this and like you know, these books you've been buying, he's like I want you to now do more with that.
Speaker 3:Wow, go deep with that, go you know, and so again those little things where you're just like you know, like I'm asking for books for christmas, like what an adult thing, but then it's but then it's at the same time. You go okay, like there's a season, there's a time where God's going to use us, and I feel like that season is now where God's like turn the TV off. You don't need to watch that same show You've watched 30 times in a row and let that consume. Don't let the media content consume your life.
Speaker 3:Let my word consume your life. Let what I want to speak to you through I feel you god, so it's man, it's that one too. Man, I'm telling you, but you're helping people and when it's that that to me has been one of my like thank you god um, kind of like god, what's? What's the word I'm looking for? Like kind of getaways or like all right you're escaping me to my escape. Thank you, that's what I was looking for, like media con, like let me throw on my sports show.
Speaker 2:It's where you put my sons, my cardinal ed like.
Speaker 3:I'll just check out and I realized almost all of my life because I had so much alone time as a kid because my mom was working on time that that was such a built-in escape of almost comfort, yeah, man Like this
Speaker 2:is you ain't got to deal with life and stuff. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:And so and I'm realizing, like, how much time like I waste.
Speaker 4:Hello, you know doing some things and I'm telling you, man, like, oh, I want to watch a movie tonight, so I'll stay up a little later and it's like why? You've already seen that movie, you know just like little things like that where?
Speaker 1:god's highlighting like hey, it's a different little areas, man different season yeah, here's what I need you to do instead of this and so god told me one time as a christian, you don't have no free time, that's right, he bought it all with his blood.
Speaker 2:He bought it. What do you?
Speaker 1:think is free time, that you want to tune out and go watch a show. That's not free time. That's time that you should be spending with me and fortunately I've been disobedient.
Speaker 2:But a lot of us have bud. You're not the only one. That's why, when you said that, I'm like, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:It was like a punch in the chest. I'm like oh Godience, and doing my own thing Like there's, you know, like you guys could probably relate to that too. I've done things in my own way and I in this season, these last couple of years, I've really just been like you know what God like. However you want to do it, whatever you want me to say, however you like, that's really what I. Just I want to do whatever I can to be stay in alignment with that.
Speaker 4:And.
Speaker 3:I and I'm not anywhere near perfect at it, but but that's in this year specifically. I'm like man.
Speaker 4:I want to do good for God.
Speaker 3:I want to do more. I want to study more. I want to read more. I want to grow more. I want to help not best I hate saying best of my ability, but if I can do that to the best of what God wants me to do, I know that on the other side of it it's going to be fruitful for the church, the Capital City Church, the.
Speaker 3:Lifeline Church. But also on the inside for me. I know he's going to grow me and do something in me that I can't see yet in my own natural eyes. But on the other side of that, yes, that I feel like for this year. I know at the end, like next December, I'm going to go man, I am so happy, so glad.
Speaker 3:You know I did more, so good so those are kind of the big things this year that I'm you know focused on. That's the big thing I'm focused on, obviously, you know, growing in my relationship with god in a personal way, but also even growing my relationship with my wife.
Speaker 3:Yeah, really, and I felt like another thing god showed me too this year. Um was he told me and he highlighted I'll kind of share a little story with this because this is really cool. But he told me, hey, this is a season, this is a season where I need you to teach your kids about me. And you know, I I remember having that like kind of like well, I do that all the time, but like an intentional like I need you to sit down with your kids and teach them about life teach them about the things in my world and I had the realization I'm like man.
Speaker 3:am I relying too much on they're here? They're here on Sunday instead of sitting down with them and letting them hear me, and then I had the thought I'm like man. I don't want these students to hear more from me about God than my own kids are hearing in my house and so again I felt that and I was like whoa, and it wasn't like, oh man, I messed up, because my kids love God.
Speaker 4:They love the church, but it was a hey in this season.
Speaker 3:I want you to do this. It's good man, I'm not even kidding. Right when I had that, I get a text from one of my youth pastor friends in the city. His name's Corey.
Speaker 4:He pastors at.
Speaker 3:Covenant Life Church down on Gilbert and Germain, and he just texts me. He's like hey, man, how you doing? Like, just, you know, want to call you. And I'm like, yeah, give me a call. So he calls me and I had this moment where he was just like yeah, I just I felt like God wanted me to connect with you and encourage you with something, and I was just telling him kind of what I was hearing on Sunday and he just said hey, I just went through that with my kids and let me show you, let me tell you what I did with them. Wow, because his kids are slightly, a little bit older than my kids. And so a confirmation God put somebody already in your life.
Speaker 2:He was like here's how you can do it. You know what I mean. Where it was?
Speaker 3:that layer of like okay.
Speaker 2:How do I do this?
Speaker 3:I hear, what you're saying. And then it was God's like and here's how you can Wow Through one of my friends.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Just happened to just text me Like how are?
Speaker 1:you doing.
Speaker 4:You know what I mean and so good to be in community.
Speaker 2:Community.
Speaker 3:I was just thinking relationship, but so those are some of the big things in 2025 that. I want to experience and really put my energy into and time into.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're going to pray for our brother man, I am, yeah, thanks y'all. Thank you, bro. Thank you, that's three hours three hours it goes quick, don't it? It does, man.
Speaker 3:I promise everybody that I'd be the shortest we have. We have a way.
Speaker 2:We can't speed these things up, man, up man. Somebody asked us one time do you guys edit.
Speaker 1:We're like no, yeah, can you make it an hour 15 minutes? You're getting raw conversation, bro.
Speaker 2:There's no editing to this at all you know, I mean, I got somebody that came up to me on sunday, kayla, and she's like I just started listening to your podcast. Thank you so much for how raw you guys are that's cool?
Speaker 4:I was like, oh, yeah it's raw, that's real.
Speaker 1:It's raw, it's real man, it's cool.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you for, oh yeah, it's raw, it's real, bro, it's raw, it's real, man it's cool.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you for your time, brother. I pray that God returns us back to you somewhere down the line, man.
Speaker 2:He will.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm just excited for you, I'm excited for our church, I'm excited for these youth that have you as their pastor, brother.
Speaker 2:They are blessed man.
Speaker 1:You and your wife are mountain movers and earth shakers and hell stompers, man. These kids are blessed bro, but let me pray for you man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, please, thank you, god man.
Speaker 1:Man. Most gracious Father, I just praise your name, god. I thank you that you are the maker of the heavens and the earth, god, and we just sit here in awe of who you are, what you've done and what you're continuing to do, god, and I just thank you, Lord, that today we're going to stand on faith. God, just like the woman with the issue of blood that people doctors were baffled. They knew nothing about it, god, and they just were in awe and just didn't know what to do. God. And she just had this faith, god, that if she could just touch her garment, that she would be healed, god. So we're standing here today, Father, god, and we're reaching out, we're touching that garment today for our brother, god, and we're saying cancer gone. In Jesus' name, we thank you, lord, that doctors are going to be baffled They've never seen nothing like this before God and we're just praising your name that they're going to be asking questions how did this happen? What did you do?
Speaker 1:And then, he's simply going to just declare it was Jesus, it was the blood of God. So I thank you, lord, for just that healing in his body and in his life. I pray for those red marks that are on his skin right now that they begin to disappear.
Speaker 2:That, the pain that the fire that the cause just disappear in Jesus' name God.
Speaker 1:So I thank you for that healing right now. God, we declare it and we receive it through the power of your blood God, and I thank you, Lord, just for man, the heart of worship Lord. I thank you for lifelink worship that's coming God. I thank you that we're going to be matched with Elevation Worship God that there's going to be songs, god that other churches are going to be singing that are going to come from Pastor Josh.
Speaker 4:God.
Speaker 1:So I thank you for just the anointing and the words, god, to write down. I thank you for the blessing of Pastor James and Lacey that they can come together and collaborate and make these things just beautiful, god, because I see three people that just want to glorify you in song and in word, god, and I thank you that they're going to have the words and the music to go with it. Father, god, lord, I thank you for books. I thank you that today Pastor Josh is going to count himself worthy, god, to be able to be an author. We see so many great authors in our world already that write about you and your scriptures and things like that, god, and I see Josh Russell.
Speaker 1:So I thank you, lord, for a best-selling book. Thank you, god. I thank you for a best-selling author. Thank you, lord. Lord, I thank you that these books are going to move people, they're going to shape people. They. Author. Thank you, lord. I thank you that these books are going to move people, they're going to shape people, they're going to build people's characters. But I thank you, lord, that the finances that are going to come from these books are going to move mountains for the kingdom of God and anointing. So I thank you, lord, just for the anointing on those words. God, I thank you for just the intentionality, god, to sit down and begin to write the things that you're telling him to write. God, I thank you, lord, for the outlines that are already there, god.
Speaker 1:I thank you, Lord, that you're going to help him to create a time. He said it right now, God, just it's time to do more.
Speaker 4:Doing more is writing these books.
Speaker 1:God Doing more is spending time with his wife and building their relationship. God, doing more is to sit down with his children, god, and to teach them not to rely on other people, god, that may have different theology or a different understanding of the scriptures, god, but to come from the mouths of his mom and her dad to set the foundation for a next generation, god. So I thank you for everything you're doing in Josh's life, god. I thank you for everything that you brought him through that helped to shape his character. God, because I look at a man that I admire and I respect, god. Thank you, god. I thank you, lord, that you put him in our lives.
Speaker 1:God, I thank you for the friendship that him and Rowdy have established God and I thank you that my youngest son looks at a man that he admires God and loves to hear preached Lord, because it's people like that that are going to draw this next generation.
Speaker 2:That's right, man.
Speaker 1:There's going to be people who are up there preaching with passion preaching with fire? Who's calling the throne room and bringing down heaven to earth? God?
Speaker 4:who are?
Speaker 1:kicking the gates of hell through their preaching God. So I thank you, lord, just for everything you're going to do, god. Thank you, god. I pray blessings over my brother and his household Father. I pray blessings over their you. God. I pray blessings over my brother and his household Father. I pray blessings over their marriage. God, that young children are going to be able to see what a good, healthy marriage looks like. I thank you that he has the understanding, through Pastor Dave, on how to raise up these new generations. God.
Speaker 2:I thank you for just the time the intentionality.
Speaker 1:He's going to spend pouring into this next generation. God, I thank you for the ones that you're going to highlight that he spends extra time with God, because those are the future leaders that are going to take his place when he's called to do something higher. God, yeah, it's coming. So I thank you for a man who's going to raise up the next generation of leaders.
Speaker 2:Thank you for Isaiah.
Speaker 1:God, so I thank you for everything you're doing. God Bless my father bless his finances, open the gates of heaven and pour out your blessings upon everything he touches. Lord Jesus, we love you for our brother. We thank you for him. God, we praise you in Jesus' name, amen.
Speaker 2:Amen, pastor Josh, do me a favor, man, pray for Speak.
Speaker 3:Life. Heavenly Father, I just thank you so much that you are so in the middle of everything happening with Speak Life podcast. God, your word, clearly says that there is life and there's death in the power of the tongue and I thank you that these two diligent men, mighty men of God, have chosen to use their gift to speak life and to create something that gives people an opportunity to speak.
Speaker 4:Life where the enemy?
Speaker 3:wants to destroy and bring chaos and bring division. Through the mouth and through the words of people, these two men are bringing unity, they're bringing healing, they're bringing hope, thank you God, and they're changing people's lives. Lord, we know it's not them, but it's the power at work of you in their lives that is bringing the fruit, that is bringing the change, that is bringing healing, that is bringing the help that people need.
Speaker 3:Thank you that people listen to this podcast and they sit through three-hour-long podcasts of conversations and it's filled with rich goodness of the truth of your word. It's filled with exactly what your word says in Revelation, where the enemy is defeated by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. Thank you, God, that you partner with our testimony to defeat the enemy.
Speaker 1:Thank you, God.
Speaker 3:The lies of the enemy, the destruction, the discouragement that the enemy brings to so many lives. Thank you that this podcast can be a beacon of light on the app stores on. Apple Podcasts on Spotify, on YouTube, wherever it's streamed, at Father God, I thank you that when people would see it, there would be something where the Holy Spirit would arrest their heart to say click on that. You need to watch that video Thank you, God.
Speaker 3:They would just they'd be drawn to it, that it would, even algorithmically lord, somehow manage its way to get in front of people thank you, god.
Speaker 2:That's a god thing, yeah where it where.
Speaker 3:Maybe it's not um one of the top podcasts now, but because of what you're doing and because of how your spirit works and because of how powerful you are. You would get it in front of people and people that have never heard of it would see it and go. I'm watching that next thank you, lord and I thank you for that.
Speaker 3:Right now, lord, I thank you that the fruit and the submission of these two men. They have full understanding that it's nothing done out of their own ability, but it's everything that you have done. Let them hold on to that. Let the enemy never be able to come in and swerve them, and confuse them and make them think that it's them who's doing this, I know how the enemy works I know how he speaks to men, and so, satan, you are defeated right now in their minds and their hearts.
Speaker 3:Thank you that you, oh God, are the one who is? Speaking truth and who is reminding them of who they are and who is with them and who is their Lord, and who is their shepherd? And who is their helper and who is their healer? And who is the one who is giving them the ideas and giving them the topics and giving them the guests. Thank you, Lord, that you are keeping in alignment the vision of Speak Alive.
Speaker 3:Podcast with the vision of your word with the vision of, even the vision that you have given them. It's not swaying, it's not swerving. The enemy is so unbelievably out of the picture that he is off in the distance, already licking his wounds in defeat, knowing he can't touch this podcast that he can't touch the ministry that Rowdy and Eddie are a part of we thank you for their faithfulness, we thank you for their diligence, we thank you for just who they are and their hearts to serve the house the heart to serve the leaders of this house and the hearts to just make a difference in the lives of people.
Speaker 3:We thank you right now that you are increasing their budget, their podcast budget. Even I don't know if there's a sponsors that are attached to the podcast, but there soon will be.
Speaker 2:Thank you, lord.
Speaker 3:Lord, that someone will listen to this and say I want to invest in this. Thank you, god, I want to help make this fruitful and liquid for these two men and that they would recognize that it's only from you, God.
Speaker 3:I just thank you for those great connections and things that are going to happen in 2025. That's going to help continue to launch and grow this podcast. I thank you for these two men specifically. I thank you that you are just like Pastor Dave spoke to Rowdy. It's time to get certain things in order. It's time to get certain things dialed in, and this year, because of where God is taking them and this is a part of where God's taking them this is a part of your plan. This is a part of your vision for your life.
Speaker 3:And so I thank you, lord, that, as they submit and do those things and do the hard and challenging and frustrating things that they have to do every day, to make sure that they have the time, availability and capacity to do this and to serve in this way, that you would bring back tenfold, lord, every effort that they're putting in and working with with you. You would bless them relentlessly, lord. I think you've that. You're blessing this podcast. You're blessing their personal lives. You're blessing their home. You're blessing even personal lives. You're blessing their home. You're blessing, um, even their future home that he was talking to me about a couple months ago.
Speaker 3:Thank you of just the faithfulness and the of who you are and what you're doing and how you're moving in their life thank you put them in the right place, give them the right space. Thank you giving the right things to look forward to. Um, locationally everything, father god, let it be a huge blessing to you, god, even the things where they were like. I never thought I'd have this.
Speaker 2:Yes, lord, I never thought I'd have this kind of a backyard. Yes, God.
Speaker 3:I never thought I'd have this kind of a garage.
Speaker 4:Bless them with all of those things, lord, and I thank you for that right now.
Speaker 3:Lord, I thank you for Eddie and his marriage. Let it be strong.
Speaker 2:Let it be strong, let it be fruitful, let it be filled with God.
Speaker 3:Let it be filled with the good things of God. Draw his wife's heart to him and let draw his heart to her Lord Serve each other and love each other in an incredible way. Let his son and his daughters and everything, Father God, just be so close in this season. Let them be a unified family in the name of Jesus, we pray for Rowdy too. We thank you that in this season, um, you're growing him.
Speaker 3:There's things that, um, even on the uh, the horizon, he might have to die too, he might have to let go of, he might have to do differently and I thank you, lord, that he has the maturity and the biblical understanding and the closeness of the relationship with you to know if God's telling me to release something, and it's for my good. If God's telling me to shift and do something different, then it's for my good. If God's telling me and highlighting something to me in this season and bringing my pastor alongside of me to say hey, let me help you with this Then it is for my good and let him not resist but let him just to give in to everything that you're doing.
Speaker 3:Let him be an open, just like we talk about around here all the time. Let him have open palm to everything that he's doing, ministry wise, whether it's CR or speak life or what he? Gets to do for as a staff member at this church, what he gets to do with prayer. Open palm season for him.
Speaker 4:Open hand to say God, nothing's, mine, everything's yours.
Speaker 3:So do whatever you want to do in my life, because I want all of who you are.
Speaker 3:I thank you that those things are coming into alignment for him this season, lord even on the things buried that he, that sometimes he can push deep down in his heart to say, well, it'll happen when it happens, whoever that future wife is for him father god I praise, I praise you, lord, that you are just building those things in his heart, that he can be ready to be all that he needs to be for that future wife, and that you're already working on whoever that is for him right now and that she needs to be all that she needs to be for him as well, Father.
Speaker 3:God, In the very near distance, you're creating a union and a covenant for this man and a woman. Soon. I thank you for that right now, Father. I know that that's a dream of his. I know that that's a want and a desire. I know sometimes he pushes it down, but God I thank you that you're resurfacing and saying, hey, this is part of my plan for your life to do.
Speaker 3:Thank you, God, and so thank you that he's going to hear from you in that in this season, Lord. So again, I thank you for this amazing podcast. I thank you for this opportunity. I got to sit down with two men that I love and respect and care about so much and just talk about life and talk about the good things that God has done in my life. We're so grateful for you, lord, so grateful for them. In Jesus name we pray.
Speaker 2:Amen. Hey everybody, I don't know where you're watching from or where you're listening from, but the first thing it is man. It all starts with the relationship with Jesus Christ and just saying yes to him. You heard Pastor Josh man. He was literally sitting in the field man and said God, I want to give you my life. I don't know what that looks like, but you can have it. You can make that same choice wherever you are. Just say God, here I am, I give myself to you. Do whatever you're going to do. Man, I believe that you're real and you died for me and you've forgiven me on that cross all my sins, and one day you're going to raise me to be with you in heaven. Relationship with Jesus is where it all starts. Give your heart to him, give your life to him and watch what he does you yourself.
Speaker 2:If you could please subscribe to the channels, you'll get a notification. All the future upcoming episodes. Support the show. If you can, please leave a comment. Even just type one word, jesus. It helps so much with the show. If you can, um, please leave a comment, even just type one word Jesus. It helps so much with the algorithms. Um, until next time, we're going to continue to speak life. God bless you next time.