SpeakLifeAZ
The testimony of Jesus in, with, and through everyday people like us. A father and son who were addicts for over 20 yrs. You name it, WE DID IT, TOGETHER!!!! we used to use drugs together now we share about what God Has done for us to encourage the body of Christ and anyone else who may listen to this that is feeling hopeless and empty. LISTEN TO OUR STORY...and the testimony of others who feel led to share with you.... GOD BLESS YOU....TODAY WE CHOOSE TO SPEAK LIFE AZ!!!!!!!!!!
SpeakLifeAZ
Janine H. Testimony
In this gripping episode of the SpeakLifeAZ podcast, we dive into the life of Janine H., who opens up about her tumultuous journey from trauma to triumph. From her childhood in New Jersey, where pain, abuse, and darkness seemed to overshadow her life, to a personal encounter with God that transformed her narrative, Janine's story is a testament to the healing power of sharing one's testimony. Discover how she navigated painful relationships and ultimately found her voice amidst the chaos.
Janine shares candid insights about her struggles with domestic abuse and the necessity of speaking out. With raw honesty, she discusses how confronting her past allowed her to reclaim her power and inspire others. Not only does this episode touch on the importance of support systems, but it also emphasizes the role of faith in the healing process. Join us as we explore Janine’s journey of hope, resilience, and renewal. Whether you’re seeking inspiration or healing, her story resonates with anyone who has faced overwhelming odds. By the end, you will be encouraged to confront your own pain and embrace the story only you can share. Don’t miss this powerful conversation filled with wisdom and a call to action: find your voice, share your testimony, and inspire someone else to heal.
all right, everybody. Welcome back to the speak life az podcast. Testimony of jesus and everyday people. I'm your host, eddie, and always with me is my son, rowdy Jesus.
Speaker 2:What's up, buddy? What's up, bro? Ah, another day, another day, another dollar. Yeah, gotta get up and get it, man. Yep, early bird gets the worm, buddy. Hello, it's a good day. Some people didn't wake up today, bud. Amen, we got life. Yeah, I'm going to praise God.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ah, man. Did you have a good day, man? What did you do today?
Speaker 2:I did. I went for a run this morning. Man, I'm just trying to, one day at a time, bud. I got some good momentum right now in my health and journey and my weight loss and I'm trying to really take advantage of it, because you know how we go on these roller coasters in life, man.
Speaker 1:I like your post lately, man. You're sharing some pretty good information with some people, man.
Speaker 2:I'm learning and growing in my health and weight loss journey and if I can learn and grow in things, then maybe there's other people Share, baby Share. It's a platform, man. What are you using it for? Amen, that's right.
Speaker 1:Amen. What did you bring with you, brother?
Speaker 2:Man, dude, we've got our sister Janine. What's up, sis? Hi Janine, hi guys.
Speaker 3:Yay, Thanks for coming on man, I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker 1:Amen. God made it very clear to us when we started doing video to honor his kids when they come on the show. So we just want to honor you and thank you for your time. I follow you on social media so I know you're doing a lot of stuff.
Speaker 2:So time doing a lot of stuff um so time for you is valuable, so we appreciate you carving out a little time for us and, uh, we're excited to have you here, man, so thank you for that. I'm excited, yeah, uh, for me, for me, sis, um and the reason why I call you sis is because you're a part of the forever family with celebrate recovery um, I've got to watch your journey personally, um, in your sobriety, and how god just continues to open up these doors for you just to step into, because you are a walking testimony now of what God can do with somebody, and I personally, like dad said, followed you through social and I've seen, seen what God's doing in you and I'm excited for this testimony. Man, yeah, man, yeah, you've got you. You're going to help some people today.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:That's what it's all about.
Speaker 3:That is what it's all about, yeah.
Speaker 2:You said something earlier about how, when we get to this place where we're willing to share our stuff, I call it crap, but it's real man.
Speaker 2:It's the stuff that we hide from people and we can't let them know, because if they really know this stuff, what will they think of me when, in all actuality, it's the very stuff that makes people connect with us. It's just real and genuine. And one thing that I shared with dad recently was we have to be willing to feel it, to heal it, to heal it so that then we can tell it. And that's literally what it is. We have to go through the process of feeling all the feels and the emotions and all the stuff that we drink and use, drugs and everything else that we don't have to feel. But when we go through that and we feel that stuff, god does a healing inside of our hearts and in our souls and in our minds and he brings us to a place where now it's like we need to tell people about this, because if God can do what he's done in my life and the good work and bring me out of it, then he can possibly do it for you who are watching, or you who are listening.
Speaker 1:You're having what I call an eight-mile moment. It or you who are listening.
Speaker 3:You're having what I call an eight-mile moment it really is.
Speaker 1:You ever watch Eight Mile? Yes, Okay, you know the part where Eminem finally gets the courage to get up on stage and sing and he tells everybody all his crap.
Speaker 2:My mom's from the trailer park? Yeah, my mom's a popper
Speaker 1:in the trailer park. Yeah, all this stuff happened to me. Yeah, this, that the other. And when he handed the mic to Papa Doc, papa Doc had nothing to say yeah, because you told everybody everything, that's what we're doing.
Speaker 1:When we tell, when we the enemy wants to be the Papa Doc in our life. He wants to be the one that gets the microphone and says, oh, she was this, she was that and all these things. Then when we get the microphone, we clam up. But when we take the power back which is what we're doing now and saying I'm going to let people know the things that I've been through, I'm going to take the enemy's power away and I'm going to tell people the things that I've been through, so the enemy has nothing to tell people that I haven't already told them. And when we do that, what can the devil tell somebody that you haven't already told them Nothing? When the devil tells them oh, she used to drink, I know, she told me. Yeah, that's where I was, but look where I am now. But they'll say, yeah, I know, she told me. What are you trying to say? I already know that about her. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:It's really phenomenal.
Speaker 3:It is.
Speaker 2:I love specifically testimonies, janine, because Revelation 12, 11,. It talks about how we overcome the enemy by the power of the blood, the word of our testimony, and loving not our life unto death. This is part, and loving not our life unto death, um, this is part of loving not our, because when we love ourselves, we try to save ourselves, and when we literally bring our junk to the forefront and to the surface, it exposes ourselves and it really, it really shows that the life you're living is now laid down for god. Um, but so let me, let me pray real quick and then we'll kind of get into this. Um, jesus, man, holy spirit, this is going to be good, god. I just thank you, lord, for what you're getting ready to do.
Speaker 2:God, holy spirit, I just pray. I thank you that you are here, I thank you that your daughter, janine, god, is full of your Holy spirit. Lord, I pray that you just anoint her words, god, and I thank you for what's getting ready to get shared, because she's getting ready to kick the devil in the face, god, and give him a black eye. Today, she's taking back power, god, I feel healing, there's even healing. That's going to happen today, lord, so I thank you that through this testimony, god, you're not only going to work in us, but there's people that are going to listen to this God, there's people that are going to watch this God that you are going to touch them right where they are. So I just pray, god, that you do what only you can do in Jesus' name.
Speaker 3:Amen.
Speaker 2:Have you ever listened to one of these before? Yes, okay, faithful listener. Thank you so much for your faithfulness, sis. We don't have to make you repent, I'm just kidding. Thank you so much for your faithfulness, sis. We don't have to make you repent. No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 3:I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2:I will. You need to repent. Pastor Cherie was on and we asked her. She's like.
Speaker 1:I need to repent.
Speaker 2:Now people say they don't, I make them repent.
Speaker 3:No, you're good dude.
Speaker 2:But so basically then, you know kind of what we do here. When God gave this to us in 2020, it seemed like God gave a lot of people podcasts in 2020. But it was just a Speak Life AZ podcast the testimony of Jesus in everyday people and for the first couple years we kind of did what we wanted to do.
Speaker 1:We made it about 80 and rowdy, yeah, and it wasn't so much about obedience to what God called us to do.
Speaker 2:We made it about 80, yeah, and it wasn't so much about obedience to what god called us to do, um, but in 2023, we we really sat down to what he told us to do and started getting people's testimonies, um, because we all have one. Doesn't matter if you're like dad and you're down at the car shop and the muffler shop man, grinding and cutting up metal and cars all day myself, uh, serving here here in the house of god, man, making the wheel spin, or like yourself, um, starting businesses and and really making moves um, in the business world and in the professional world. Yeah, we've all got a story and we've all come from something. Yep, um. So basically, we just want a couple different parts of your story today, sis. Um, we want to know who janine is. We want to know how janine grew up, where janine grew up um, mom and dad, brothers and sisters? Um, god was god in the home as you, what? What was religion or church life like as a kid? Um, your your childhood school? How was school for you? Um, so, working in recovery and serving god in that lane?
Speaker 2:We, we noticed that a lot, of, a lot of the stuff that sets people off later in life that they got to go through recovery and trauma healing from. It's actually stuff that happens early in life. Kids are mean, kids are mean man, um. So it just your childhood, um, anything that Holy Spirit leads you in that. But I think one of the coolest things that we really want to capture today, sis, is your personal encounter with God, because when God met you, it was just the way that he knew he needed to meet you, right where you were. Seriously, dad was in a prison cell on a prison yard. I was in a teen challenge in a blue two-foot altar at 1515 West Grand when God said Son, I love you, I forgive you. That was the day my whole life changed. But we want to know your encounter with God when God became so real to you.
Speaker 1:We always talk about personal relationships with God, and that's exactly what it is. God knew what it was going to take to get Janine the moment, the timing, what to say what it was going to be. He made it so precise and personal for you that it was yours. You know what I mean. Nobody can change that, yeah.
Speaker 2:And then. So, like we always say, man, uh, the evidence of a real encounter with God is life change, is transformation. Yeah, um, because God, when, when we really have an encounter with the living Jesus, man, things change. Yeah, we get a new heart, we get, we get a new, we become a new person in Christ and our lives start to change and our choices start to change through the power of God's grace and the power of the Holy Spirit. So we want to know how your life changed after and then, at the very end. I think the cool thing that we do is we want to get what you're hoping for in the future, because you've got a son, you're stepping your toes and your feet into these different waters and I know God's called you into his house and into ministry. So what has he put in your heart that you want to share with the world? Because we have faithful listeners that pray, prayer, that pray for you, and we want to pray for you at the end as well, man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Prayer moves the hand of God man.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'm excited.
Speaker 1:I can't wait to share. So what was it like growing up, man?
Speaker 3:So can I be vulnerable?
Speaker 1:Please.
Speaker 3:And honest.
Speaker 1:I hope so.
Speaker 3:Because I don't think I've ever truly shared like honestly how my childhood was, except with a counselor.
Speaker 2:Okay, so before you start, I just want to say that one thing on Speak Life that we do is we cover and we protect, so we don't necessarily need to use names and stuff like that just because we love. We get everyone's in process and everyone's at different places, um, but just let holy spirit lead you and please, yeah, I mean the more open and the more honest and the more real and vulnerable you are in this right now with what we're doing, the more you're going to help people yeah, and the more you're going to help yourself and more healing you're going to get.
Speaker 2:I mean yeah, and, and then I get to know you more yeah so um childhood.
Speaker 3:I grew up in new jersey I am new, from new jersey and born and raised, and my family is from colombia. My parents immigrated here from colombia to the us okay, are you a new yorker?
Speaker 2:so because you were born in jersey and from jersey, but to me I'd be like, oh, she's a new york. Okay, are you a New Yorker? So because you were born in Jersey and from Jersey, but to me I'd be like, oh, she's a New York girl. Are you a New York girl or no? No, I'm from.
Speaker 3:I'm a Jersey girl, but it's very similar.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so, and then some of the things that I say, people are like huh, you have a little bit of an accent sometimes it comes out a little bit right. But I was born and raised in New Jersey and, yeah, so I remember really good memories from my childhood as far as like always going to soccer, my brother's soccer games on the weekends, and my mom was a seamstress. My dad was a yeah, my mom used to do like weddings and quinceaneras prom dresses.
Speaker 2:My dad was a truck driver and what was the block that you grew up? For some reason I'm just seeing, like the videos that I picture in new york, where tall buildings and families in them, or were you like in a suburb suburb?
Speaker 3:small town kind of feel, but it wasn't the safest place to grow up in. I grew up on patterson street in perth, amboy, new Jersey, and I remember my childhood. She says it like that's something that grew up on Patterson Street, but I do say it.
Speaker 2:There's people that know of Patterson Street from Jersey.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like I've mentioned Patterson Street on social media and they were like, oh, that block was hot.
Speaker 2:Oh, she's from the hood, they know.
Speaker 3:And I just remember. I do remember beautiful memories of like playing outside with my childhood, you beautiful memories of like playing outside with my childhood you know neighbors and going to summer camp. But then I also have the dark side of memories of like our block was. We grew up with fights at the corner store, police patrolling. There was like, uh, you know activity happening you know, um domestic violence, that like we would see literally the house in front of us. So I have memories like that. And then Only child.
Speaker 2:No, you and your brother.
Speaker 3:I have a brother, a sister and an adopted cousin. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I have to ask, because I don't know Jersey that well Is Jersey similar to New York, as in like, there's Italian neighborhoods, there's Polish neighborhoods, there's you know what I mean?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, is polish neighborhoods there's, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, like that. Yeah, yeah, very similar, um, very similar.
Speaker 2:So like you, you being colombian, you got, you were around a lot of colombians a lot of colombian.
Speaker 3:Well, no, mostly puerto rican and dominican yeah, okay yeah, so I grew up with puerto ricans, dominicans and blacks um not that many colombians in my town, yeah, um, but um, as far as like childhood and this is something that I've been diving deeper with my counselor is just trying to piece together what happened Because I was little so I have bits and pieces but questions to aunts and uncles and dig deeper in understanding what happened.
Speaker 3:But you know my childhood, like I grew up, I have an uncle that murdered someone and so we grew up going to the state penitentiary on the weekends and visiting him and doing conjugal visits.
Speaker 2:Were you a 90s baby? Yeah, okay. 80s baby, yeah, 80s okay.
Speaker 3:And I have another uncle that was murdered, so dealing with like what happened there but, not really understanding what happened.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:And then my cousin. At a very young age, when he was like two, he literally got dropped off at our house by an aunt and then he just lived with us it was we adopted him and so it's understanding
Speaker 3:like you know what might have happened, why his parents were incarcerated, and so there was a lot happening all at once yeah and I didn't understand until now that I'm older and I'm in therapy and my counselor looked at me one day and I'm just like telling her about my childhood. And she looked at me and she's like do you understand that none of that is normal? And I'm like what do you mean? That's not normal. Like going to prison on the weekends to visit your uncle isn't normal.
Speaker 1:And she said no, she's like but what's the definition of normal, though?
Speaker 3:well, I, well I mean for a child because I was five and so she she's just like. I want you to unpack that, Like some of the things that you went through, like some kids don't go through that. You know what I mean. And you went through such a heavy, heavy time period in your life and nobody really sat you down to explain what was happening, you know, and so you don't have the tools to process at that age.
Speaker 2:I think that's it. You're just watching all this stuff happen and man.
Speaker 1:Well, a lot of times like like families don't want to talk about that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3:Well, no, no, nobody wants to talk about it.
Speaker 1:Nobody wants to talk about. Hey, theo was over there shanking people. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Nobody about. Hey, theo was over there shanking people. You know what I mean? Nobody wants to talk about that. So that's, it's stuff that we don't talk about. It's funny you talked about the kids going to prison. My little brother and sister, they, they would visit him, and when he did his time in prison and I'm thinking about like, wow, I never, really I never, because, like we had another kid that stayed with us where he didn't go to prisons and see his parents, you know. So it's just a real thing, man, where I wonder what they thought as kids going to prisons to see dad.
Speaker 3:Well, because it's something that I've had to process of not feeling safe Because we would go and the security or whatever it's called, when you get checked in and they're checking you and everything. They're in New York. They're screaming at you.
Speaker 2:They're like not nice, oh yeah. So you're getting screamed at like check in and take off your shoes, and you're like what is happening? I'm only five.
Speaker 3:And so it's that. And then, even going into the visits, you know that you're going to visit your uncle. You're going to take the little Polaroid picture with him.
Speaker 1:Would you say that was traumatizing for?
Speaker 3:you, I think the screaming like. I looked at it as screaming. I don't know if that's what it was, but I was little, so it might have been, I would say, to a certain extent, of not feeling safe around law enforcement.
Speaker 1:When you first looked back and thought about those times, did you get a little like anxious inside? Yeah, a little.
Speaker 3:But I'm grateful because this year I was able to sit with my uncle and ask him. I asked him questions, I'm like what happened and he was open and honest about everything.
Speaker 1:So he got out. Yeah, he's out, he's been out. Yeah, yeah, good for you, bro.
Speaker 3:Oh Jesus, buddy, but I was able to sit and ask him and he's like I'll answer any questions that you have. And you know he had me read inside the mind of a criminal, so I read that book. That helped me understand him better. Um, and he did. He sat with me and answered every question that I had. And then I also sat with an aunt and I did the same thing. I said can you walk me through? How did my uncle get murdered? Why did you drop off my cousin?
Speaker 3:and we adopted him like these are all questions that I have that I don't understand, and I need to piece my childhood together and she's like okay, and we did it this year, this last year.
Speaker 2:I see, I see what you mean now when you say I've come to a place of healing where I'm able to. This is cool when you're saying the bits and have come to a picture. God has literally allowed you to form the picture of your life now yeah, instead of bits and pieces.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, and it's a. It was a lot of uncertainty, but now I'm like oh, okay, so now and. But also, what this has done for me is um because, you know, I've held grudge against my parents for certain things and it's allowed me to find compassion for them, because they were about my age right now when all of this was happening, so I could just imagine how they felt navigating all of these things in our household.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you just got the one teenage boy and then the other boy and then a cousin's getting dropped off, and now we got to take care of this.
Speaker 3:This one's in prison and this one yeah, and so I'm like oh, I could see it from their lens of like they were just doing the best that they could with resources that they had.
Speaker 1:Were there gangs and drugs in the neighborhood?
Speaker 3:In my neighborhood.
Speaker 2:It's Patterson Street, bro. I'm tired, of course no.
Speaker 1:I'm just kidding, that don't mean nothing to me, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:I assume I mean honestly, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I'm so oblivious to on the. You said the street corners, man, that's what they're doing. Yeah, yeah, um. So god, where are your colombians, are they? I'm just guessing here, but how is religion among the colombian people?
Speaker 3:catholics, catholicism, catholicism. We grew up catholics. My grandfather was a hardcore catholic. He would teach us the bible since we were five. He would read us the bible while we were playing and um, but I would say in our household, like we didn't go to church every single, you know we would go like easter and special occasions, and stuff like that, um, and I think I don't know, I'm just assuming, but I think it was because my grandfather was so strict with it that my parents were like, okay, we need to relax a little bit.
Speaker 1:But yeah.
Speaker 3:Colombians are mostly Catholic.
Speaker 1:That's cool. Your grandpa did that because, from my understanding, a lot of Catholics don't read their Bible.
Speaker 2:We've had testimonies shared of people that grew up in Catholicism and they don't remember their parents ever opening the Bible. Oh yeah, my grandfather did.
Speaker 3:Oh he was reading it to us when we were little, and I'm so grateful I have a lot of the little Catholic books that they, you know with the prayers. I have all of those that were theirs.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay. So you said you had an older brother.
Speaker 3:I have a younger brother an older sister and then adopted younger brother.
Speaker 1:How was life in the home? Was it good?
Speaker 3:It was rough.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we grew up in a home that was abusive.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Emotionally, physically Okay.
Speaker 2:Drinking Any drinking or drugging in the home.
Speaker 3:Drinking, yes, but this is the thing I thought it was normal. Yeah, until. Yes, but this is the thing I thought it was normal until, like, just honestly, today, having a conversation with someone where I was like, no, drinking a beer every day after work is not normal, you know. So, yes, there was drinking in the house.
Speaker 1:I'm the same way man. My dad drank every day like 18, 24 pack every day. He had a stroke when he was like 44 because he drank so much and smoked so much. You know what I mean. Yeah, so for me that was normal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's why I said what's normal, because people's version of normal is different. Everybody's different. Yeah, okay. So school. What was school like?
Speaker 3:So where we grew up I mean, it was, I would say I mean, but it was normal for me it was, I guess, kind of rough. There was always fights, there was always fighting, there was always drama, there was always something happening. I would cut class.
Speaker 2:Good grades, or did you have a hard time with school?
Speaker 3:No, I was like a C student.
Speaker 2:Wasn't your favorite, but if you showed up and paid attention, you would go at it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was that I would cheat.
Speaker 2:I'd just show up doing sports. I was wondering that I would do cheerleading and gymnastics all right, man all right.
Speaker 1:How far did that go?
Speaker 3:um, I good, I mean, I I think until like eighth grade and I was cheer captain twice, I think, and then when I moved here, I'm like, oh no, I'm not doing this oh, it was different.
Speaker 1:So how long were you in New Jersey for?
Speaker 3:Until I was 14.
Speaker 1:14?.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm, and then we moved here, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a big.
Speaker 3:It was a culture shock. That's a totally different. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Why.
Speaker 3:They wanted a better life for us, so they moved out of New Jersey and brought us different. And I went from going to school with Puerto Ricans, dominicans and blacks to like three colored people in our school, so it was very hard to adjust, oh yeah. It was very hard.
Speaker 1:I graduated high school in 1990. We had six black people in our graduating class, mostly predominantly Mexican-American and white people.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I can remember the first time a black family moved into our neighborhood and it was like you know, it was just. It was different for us. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:That culture shock's real man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I can imagine what it was like moving to somewhere like this. It probably hits you probably like what the hell did we just walk into?
Speaker 2:Well, as a 14-year-old girl. I'm just thinking there and obviously it wasn't too good back in New Jersey for them to like she's getting older, we've got another coming right behind you, we got the cousin, we got. So your, your parents, were like thinking we've got, we got to get them out because as they become an adult, we don't want them falling into the life that your uncle did was it was the neighborhood getting bad uh, my neighborhood yeah, as far as like a reason to move out, like did it start?
Speaker 1:oh no, I think they just were ready to start.
Speaker 3:Oh no, I think they just were ready to like start. They I think they came to arizona, visited, fell in love and they're like yep, we're leaving we're getting out of the snow, yeah and um.
Speaker 1:It must not have ended in the summertime and we came in september.
Speaker 2:It was after oh yeah, this is beautiful, yeah, but um. Where'd you land? Where'd you? Guys stay Mesa, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:With culture shock.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:More than that. Yeah, I went to school with the Mormons.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Where'd you go to high school or junior?
Speaker 3:I went to Mountain View Okay, jack Rabbit, jack Rabbit, yeah, mountain View. And then I went to Skyline.
Speaker 1:I graduated Mesa High School, man. Oh cool, yeah, I was born and raised right there, man, yep, yeah, yeah, that's a hood.
Speaker 3:Yep, that's a hood, the corner store, if?
Speaker 1:you went to Mountain View, you were probably in a nice neighborhood.
Speaker 2:It was a nice neighborhood.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I went and. I'm like this is so different from New Jersey, like this is completely different, okay. Yeah, I didn't fit in at all. No.
Speaker 2:So Catholic, the home itself, with the brothers and the cousin and the family, is just not quite the best but, like you said, it wasn't a bad childhood and with the healing and the recovery that you've gotten in life, it's pretty cool that God brings us to a place where we're able to sit where we are and say you know what Our parents, with what they had and with what they knew and with what they did, they probably did the best that they could at the time.
Speaker 2:And for me, I know how much work I had to put in to be able to now I go and to share my testimony at these different places and tell people I'm able to stand here today and tell you that my father did the best he, with what he knew, with what he had, because it was all on him as a single man taking care of two kids. So just the work that you put in to get to the place where you can say, hey, my parents, they loved us and they they did the best they could with what they had, man, so that's, that's growth yeah, like I can't, I can't sit here and think of all of that that they went through with, like the uncle, all these things.
Speaker 3:If I went through that oh, complete, complete mess I don't know that I would have had the strength to do all that, to go through all that in like a matter of like three or four years. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:That's crazy, yeah. So after high school, what did you get into? Did you graduate?
Speaker 3:I got kicked out of high school for fighting and then I went to an alternative school, Mesa.
Speaker 1:Vista, and then I went to an alternative school Mesa Vista.
Speaker 3:I don't remember, it might have been the one in South, in Past Power.
Speaker 1:Oh no.
Speaker 3:I went to one up there anyway. So, yeah, I did end up graduating early, I guess because I had to go to another school.
Speaker 1:I went to a charter school alternative school too, it's okay, you went to the one where you worked at your own pace or whatever. Yeah, but at your own pace or whatever.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, but I liked it. I fit in better there. I was like this is better these are my people these are my people yeah, they get me um, and then what did I do after I got? I got married. I met my son's dad and, wow, we got married how old were you? I was. I think I was 1920 when I got married I I was young.
Speaker 1:What was your first job? Did you have a job when you were in high school?
Speaker 3:McDonald's, really, yeah, I'm loving it, mcdonald's Nice man, what did your parents think about the boy?
Speaker 2:Did you get pregnant and then go?
Speaker 3:No, we got engaged first, got married and bought a house. I wanted to do everything the right way, but now, looking back, I feel like I just wanted to leave yeah, my parents house yeah so I was like, well, let me leave the right way, so they don't you know. And uh, then we had a kid, we had my son, and um, the biggest blessing of my life seriously, he's your only child that you have my only, yeah. And I am so in love.
Speaker 2:Amen.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I had my son, and then, yeah, life after.
Speaker 2:Were you a stay-at-home mom Take care of the boy? And he worked? No, no, no.
Speaker 3:I would work too. I was working.
Speaker 1:How'd you guys meet?
Speaker 3:At McDonald's.
Speaker 1:Oh really.
Speaker 3:I met at McDonald's, at mcdonald's. Oh really, he was working there too. Yeah, I worked in the morning, he worked at night, and then one day I worked a night shift and I'm like oh hi, I like you but then things took a turn, so me and him were going through a little bit of a rough patch. I went to visit a friend in new jersey and I got sexually assaulted in New Jersey while I was still married, and I did nothing, I did not report it, I didn't say anything.
Speaker 3:I didn't do anything for fear, because this person was involved in the streets and I was so afraid of like, if I say something, will something bad happen to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's real.
Speaker 3:So I came home and I just made a decision like, if you just lock it away, act like nothing ever happened, just move on with your life. Um, but that that was short-lived because I started to drink alcohol heavily.
Speaker 2:Um deal with the pain?
Speaker 3:yeah, I was and I I me and him got a divorce and then I was. I was going through like postpartum too, and it was just a bad combination and I was promiscuous because I was looking for love in all the wrong places to feel validated and worthy so I I have family that had.
Speaker 2:I don't know the whole circumstances and stuff, but I remember one of my family members telling me that she had been raped and stuff. Was that a thing? And maybe something to drink or something, waking up and not remember. Was it something like that or was it like?
Speaker 3:I'll go into, I'll talk about it so um I was yeah.
Speaker 3:So I was at her house and she didn't have a room for me so I was sleeping on the couch. And then I remember that day, um, he came over with a friend. They said, oh, he's coming over because he got into a fight with his wife. I know his wife at the time, um. So he came over and I knew him. He was like my best friend in eighth grade so I was like, yay, he's coming over, we're gonna hang out, whatever, whatever. And then I know like we were all sober that night and I remember specifically, he asked me like three times take these pills. And they were blue. I remember seeing them and I, after the third time, I like cursed at him like stop it, I don't take pills, you know and then he's like all right, my bad.
Speaker 3:And then I remember I went and I bought water because I need water at night. So I went to the gas station. He came with me, got water, put it next to the couch, and then I remember my friend saying okay, I'm going to bed, janine's sleeping on the couch, you are sleeping over there in the bedroom with the kids both of you. And then, okay, and then I fell asleep on the couch and then I woke up and he was touching me down there and then I remember I said stop and then I passed out. I don't remember anything after that I don't remember nothing.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 3:I woke up and my pants were down.
Speaker 1:Did he put the pills in your water? Is that what you're thinking?
Speaker 3:Oh, I think he did drug me Really. I believe he did drug me, because I don't remember anything, yeah, and.
Speaker 1:You're good, sis, take your time, man.
Speaker 3:I get a lot of anxiety talking about it.
Speaker 1:That's all right.
Speaker 3:So I woke up in the morning I told my friend. I said hey, like I think something happened but I'm not sure. And she's like well, he's in the kitchen, go ask him. So I did, and he was so nervous when I approached him and he was like nothing happened and I'm sorry, and blah, blah, blah. And so I was like I felt conflicted because I didn't want to inconvenience my friend. Her husband was best friends with him and then his wife was my childhood friend.
Speaker 3:So it just felt like it was a lot of people involved and I would be inconveniencing everyone as a people. Pleaser, right.
Speaker 2:That's what I used to be.
Speaker 3:So I didn't say anything, I didn't report it. And then that night we had girls night. We were going out to the club, all the girls, his wife was coming and I got a phone call from his best friend and his best friend says hey, I've heard so many good things about you and I'm like what do you want?
Speaker 3:and he's like I heard that you're good in bed oh, wow and I um cursed, cursed him out wow and then I I called the guy and I said you know, I just went off on him and like I got in the car with the rest of the girls and I look at my friend and I said I'm so sorry, I'm about to put you in the middle, but I need to say something and I turn around and I tell his wife and it was just a whole thing like I, you know, I told my cousins and my cousins were coming with other boys to try and fight him, and it was just too much for me, so when you started saying you, you said the word inconvenience.
Speaker 3:Yeah, people pleasing.
Speaker 2:Is this, is that? What started to manifest was this and this and these people, and it was just like this is not. This is what I was trying to avoid.
Speaker 3:This is what I was trying to avoid. So the next day I got on a flight and I said forget about it, do not talk about it, don't report it, don't do nothing, just act like it didn't happen.
Speaker 2:Because this was your trip to go back to.
Speaker 3:And so I just continued my life. And then I remember, shortly after, I found LifeLink Church and I started coming. So this was in 2010, when we were at the school.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, are you serious? Seriously, you were here back then. Oh yeah, you've been here before.
Speaker 3:Wow, you're og I'm og um, when we were at the school and there was probably only like 40 people coming to, service.
Speaker 1:How'd you find them?
Speaker 3:a friend brought me because you were living in mesa oh, a friend took me oh really we were here in Gilbert somewhere and, um, I went up to Pastor Cherie and I love you God. I said, pastor Cherie, I don't know what I'm doing with my life, but can you mentor me and I'm willing to pay you whatever. Yeah and um, because I heard her sing. Sorry, I don't want to cry oh, you're good no, yeah, you're good man, this is.
Speaker 2:This is first of all I want to say I'm so grateful to Pastor Cherie.
Speaker 3:I looked at her and she was singing and she's so beautiful. I was like can you just mentor me, because I need help. Yeah, wow, and she would meet with me weekly. Oh, my God, I know that she was so busy. She was so busy, she had so much going on, but she took time out of her day to meet with me weekly. We would meet at Panera Bread and we were reading a book together. What was the name of that book?
Speaker 3:I don't remember the name of the book the True Measure of a Woman or something like that, and we would talk about God and she would counsel me Wow, how long after from the New York the trip, and then you come here.
Speaker 2:I think it was shortly after like two three months, a couple months, wow.
Speaker 3:Two, three months, wow. And then I remember I told Pastor Cherie I said I'm going like I finally decided I'm going to make a trip back home. I can't avoid it forever. And I was like what would happen if I see this guy?
Speaker 2:And she's like God's going to give you the words to you know, to speak to him. Oh so, while while you were in your mentorship, meeting at panera with pastor sheree, you had opened up with a place to share with her.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, she was one of the only few people that knew amen and then um so I went to new jersey finally after like two years, and I was walking downtown about to go get.
Speaker 2:Hold on, I have to. I feel like I. The story's getting better, just so you know, there's so many people that don't do that. There's so many people who don't allow their pastor in their life to pastor them because they've got to be good, I've got to have it together when, literally, this is what pastors want is for people to come to them and can we please meet? I'm going through something right now and I need to be pastored in this season of life, so you did exactly what.
Speaker 2:What I should have done, yes, and I felt like such a burden too, of like that's the other.
Speaker 3:She's so busy she's doing, she's the pastor of a whole church I'm watching me and I'm so broken.
Speaker 2:That's what they, that's what they want, that's their heart.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's for the one oh yeah, so I was pastor, pastor Cherie's little annoying one, but we did it for like a year, year and a half. And then I did finally go back to New Jersey and I was walking downtown and I hear a Janine.
Speaker 3:Janine, and I look back and I heard that voice and I look back and it was him and he says I need to, I need to ask you for forgiveness, I'm so sorry for everything that I did and blah, blah, blah and I was not in a space to hear it and I said I forgive you, believe me and I was like don't ever talk to me again, and and I was not ready to hear it- I continued with my alcoholism and all the things that's why in cr, in CR, when we're talking about the amends is when we have to be able.
Speaker 2:we make the amends when it's a place where we're not going to hurt them and at that time in season with that guy, it was just the amends was being made at the wrong time because what it was actually it was good for him but it was not good for you in that season.
Speaker 3:I think he knew too. He knew I wasn't. I said, yeah, I forgive you. He knew that I was, not because I was very aggressive, like get away from me.
Speaker 2:No, it's real. Yeah, so how old were you at this time? I?
Speaker 3:was like 24, 24 maybe Dang. And then the story gets better. So you lead me wherever you want me to go, and then, uh, and then the story gets better. So you, you lead me wherever you want me to go, and then I'll share what no, this is your, your testimony.
Speaker 2:You share and I will. I will rabbit trail and pull things out as you share.
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, so um, I uh recently got out of a domestic violence relationship. I was in this relationship for a year and a half and it was the worst experience of my life. I was miserable.
Speaker 2:Um, he would physically, verbally and spiritually abuse me hold on so with pastor sheree in that season at 24, and then you meet this guy yeah, this was recently.
Speaker 3:This was last year, two years ago. We're now in my 30s.
Speaker 1:You skipped a whole. Yeah, you skipped a decade.
Speaker 2:Oh, you want me to All of it? Yeah, I want all of it.
Speaker 3:Oh, but it was what I said. It was me drinking alcohol, being promiscuous, finding my value in men that don't treat me right, it was.
Speaker 2:Are you back in new york? Are you still married to the guy with your son? Oh, okay okay.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, we ended up getting a divorce. Okay, um, and no, I've been here. I've been here, and then, um, have I been going to church on and off? I come when god calls me and then I, I'm a very big introvert.
Speaker 3:I don't know if people know this, but I like, and you've seen me at church- I sit all the way in the back, all by, I see I sit all the way in the back and then, as soon as it's done, I like run out because I'm like I gotta talk to people anxiety okay, so I have to share with you that you're seeing the church you're literally falling, you're, you're, you're modeling what was shown to you as a child.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, of what kid? What church is to us? Yeah, so that's all it is. Yeah, right now, sis, my encouragement to you is to make it a priority in your life. If you're here in the valley and you're not doing something, prepare for it. Saturday night, yeah, tomorrow morning, have your dress laid out, have your shoes picked out, have your stuff ready, so I'm going to church. Yeah, have your shoes picked out, have your stuff ready, so I'm going to church.
Speaker 2:God, from everything you've done for me, what you brought me through and how you've healed me, I'm going to make you a priority, man. I'm not saying he's not, but I promise you, just making that one decision in that priority, it just things start to happen, man. But unless you make that choice and put initiative and effort behind it and do it, things. But God does something and he meets us when we make that yes and we draw that line in the sand. He's been waiting for mom and brother and sister to come into the house of God for over 10 years and every Sunday he's here because God told him you go to my house and you serve me and your family will see you and they do. They don't even know Where's dad. He's at church.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they know where I'm at, so I do watch online church. I catch the LifeLink when they get uploaded on YouTube.
Speaker 2:I'm not trying to make you feel bad at all. No, I don't feel bad.
Speaker 1:Do you like my video work? Uh-huh, do you like my video work?
Speaker 2:He does the camera guy oh cool, I'm the camera guy I do, I like it, but.
Speaker 1:I. So if you ever see Pastor dip out of the screen, it's because I wasn't paying attention, he I think that that's something still God needs to heal in me, because I've had spiritual abuse.
Speaker 3:So I do like. I mean I trust you and you know what I mean, no, that's real, but there are. I still try to stay away from certain people at church because I'm just like oh, I've been there and they've hurt me.
Speaker 1:That's real, though it's real. That's real though Church is real man.
Speaker 3:And God has given me a lot of spiritual gifts. I it's real man and God is giving me a lot of spiritual gifts. I have many spiritual gifts, but sometimes I've had people say, well, that's demonic or you know, and so I just don't. I tend to be the person that I just keep. I just have a nice relationship with God and I don't want people to yeah Like.
Speaker 2:So that's why, Okay, I want to be reaching out to you. Hey, I better see you in the morning sis.
Speaker 1:So I want to go back to when you were being mentored with Pastor Cherie. You said you did it for about a year and a half. What happened that made you stop? I don't remember, Because you said you had that moment where you went back and had that encounter with that dude. Did that kind of set you off in a different direction?
Speaker 3:having that encounter. Honestly, I don't remember what stopped it or were you still drinking?
Speaker 2:and just kind of took over. No, I was, I was drinking, but I would still show up to church every sunday drunk.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, but I had just left the club at 3 am, so yeah, I don't remember honestly what made it stop. I did move to miami for three years, so it could be that I, you know miami yeah, I lived in miami for three years florida after the divorce yeah, okay, I know right, I was saying it had to be not here in arizona.
Speaker 3:I'm like I think it could be that and then, like when I did come back, um, and I I bought a house and pastor shree and pastor dave came and blessed it, so like, or anytime I would come visit, they would meet with me for lunch. So I think it probably was that I had moved.
Speaker 1:Yeah we told her you were gonna be on before we got here and she was all she's like oh, I love her, she's the best, so just so you know so what? So what were you doing for work all this time that you were? If you got divorced and all that stuff. What were were you doing for?
Speaker 3:work, receptionist, call center, a little bit of everything. And then when I finally, when I moved back to Arizona, I was, I got a job as an HR manager for a call center. So that was amazing and like and honestly even that story. Like I was in Miami and it was a Wednesday, a Wednesday and God said quit your job what? And he said quit your job what? And he said quit your job, move to Arizona. And so I did. It was lunchtime, I went upstairs.
Speaker 3:I went upstairs, I gave my notice and my boss was so upset, yeah, and she um your blessing to wherever you're at and by Friday she was like okay, it's your last day, and so I flew my brother out to miami, we donated all of my stuff and then we drove to arizona and by the time I was in texas driving um and my journey had like 500 to my name. By the time I was in texas I got the call, that I got the job really um, moved here and like a month later, I had a house.
Speaker 3:I bought a house how, I don't know that was god, I don't know and that was like one of my first moments where I was like, oh, if you surrender to god, he he does everything for you. Um, but yeah, I moved here, bought my house and what were you doing in miami besides working?
Speaker 1:I mean, just what's miami like?
Speaker 3:oh, I was working and I was partying all the time.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 3:And drinking yeah.
Speaker 1:Because it's a big club scene down there right oh yeah, I was doing all of it, and you fit right in probably being Colombian right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because it's like big Puerto Rican.
Speaker 3:I was living my life.
Speaker 2:So I have to, because this is this is crazy, because I feel it's getting hot in here. So take, oh, my God, okay. So you know what's crazy Is? I feel like during all this time and during all these years of you quote unquote living my life, you were his the whole time. I know I know that now yeah.
Speaker 3:I know that now and I'm going to share with you when I get to that part of the story. But I know that he was with me the whole time and I've had a relationship with him so like, yeah, I wouldn't go to church every weekend, but like this whole, time You're still talking to him.
Speaker 2:I was talking to him and I'm like oh.
Speaker 3:You know like are you annoyed at me yet, so I was still you know, and I would pray to him and cry Like when will my life change around? When is it going to be my turn? When, when, when, when.
Speaker 1:You think that comes from your grandfather?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 2:Having that I can um would you say, you've always just believed.
Speaker 3:Yes, but I mean like I I can you can hear God. I hear God.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 3:I um, like deceased people and this is where I mean like people are like oh, that's demonic. But no, like I've had people, random just come to me and say can you give this message? It's like prophetic, like give this message to this person and they're like oh, today was his birthday.
Speaker 2:Like things like that.
Speaker 3:So God has given me a lot of beautiful gifts, but I don't share it with a lot of people because I get met with like oh, that's new agey.
Speaker 2:People are crazy, so.
Speaker 3:I just don't.
Speaker 2:Just be obedient. Just be obedient to what God tells you to do.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's really what it is From very little, I've been very sensitive To all of it and I've always known that there's like A heaven and there's like and it's beautiful, yeah, and I've seen it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I've been able to see it, so I know that it's gonna be amazing.
Speaker 1:Amen Okay. So I know that it's going to be amazing. Amen, okay.
Speaker 2:There's a lot to you, so where are we here? So you are divorced at 24?
Speaker 3:24-ish. Yeah, so I moved back.
Speaker 2:Now you're back here with who you live in when you show up back in AZ, because you're in Miami three years. So now you're in your late 20s.
Speaker 3:I moved back here, I buy my house, um with my son, and I get into a relationship with a man who was the most amazing human being I've ever met in my life, um, the most kindest um. He taught me what a healthy relationship is and we dated for two and a half years and then after two and a half years, and then after two and a half years. When I brought up the marriage conversation, he ghosted me.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow.
Speaker 3:Like I mean completely. I never heard from him again, ever, whoa Like so he was great.
Speaker 2:It's just the whole commitment thing.
Speaker 3:Sorry, no, but I have nothing negative to say about him. Why? Because I needed to go through that to realize that my wound of abandonment and rejection and my love comes from God and not from a man, you know. So, in a sense like, yeah, it sucks what happened, but I'm also grateful because it took me to where I am now.
Speaker 1:Plus all you need to see that there's good men.
Speaker 3:Yes, he's like the example for me. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Amen.
Speaker 3:And then so then, yeah, so fast forward to now. I was in an abusive relationship. I had met someone who portrayed himself to be a lover of God, a God-fearing man. Oh no, I had met him six years prior in Miami, in Florida. Portrayed himself to be a lover of God, a God-fearing man. I had met him six years prior in Miami, in Florida, and we rekindled our friendship, and the reason why I got so attached to him was because of the God in the center part, right Like at the beginning.
Speaker 2:He's a man of God. Quote, unquote.
Speaker 3:so he's a sign language interpreter at a church, meaning like the pastor is there preaching the word of god and he's right next to him. Sign language. Okay, to give you context, um, and at the beginning of our relationship, everything was like god, this, god that so you're seeing a man who claims to be a man of God, who's serving in the church, who's A leader in the church, yeah Doing all these different.
Speaker 2:He's in Florida and you're in Arizona. No, he was in New York.
Speaker 3:We had met in Florida, but he lives in New York.
Speaker 2:So now he's in New York, but you're living in Arizona Was it a big church Long distance Him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it had to be to happen.
Speaker 3:And he would even pray on the subway in New York and, like you know, just spread the word of God and, honestly, because of him, I started to read my Bible again. I was like, oh OK, so this is the real thing.
Speaker 1:So I got.
Speaker 3:I went and I bought a new Bible and I bought us both devotionals, a men's one and a woman's one. And he would pray over our meals and pray over me and send me Bible scriptures and I was like, oh my God, I met the man of my dreams.
Speaker 3:And then, yeah, about three months into the relationship, I started to see red flags. He would yell at me, scream at me, get upset over little things. That would just tick him off. Sometimes we would be on FaceTime and we would have a stare down, like he would just stare at me, and so I would stare at him too, like I'm from. New Jersey. Who are you looking?
Speaker 2:at. I'm from the East coast, don't mess with me, you know, and so.
Speaker 3:but then I knew like that there was a power issue here and control. Yes. Manipulation yes, manipulation, um. And then, three months into the relationship, he put his hands on me for the first time and he threw the bible, the devotional I got him. He threw it at my face oh, wow and then it became really, really dark for me.
Speaker 2:I started to have suicide ideations and um when, I think, were you guys living together blaming yourself. Huh, were you blaming yourself?
Speaker 3:no, but I felt like it's gonna get real. I felt like his demonic spirits were after me, because the the voices that I would hear were not mine. I know that they're not mine they did not come from god but there was voices that would tell me to do certain things and I woke up every single day miserable. I would wake up like it would be four in the morning. He would already ruined my day.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 3:And it just continued. Um, there was a time where he held me hostage in the house. He held me hostage in his room for about two hours. He was screaming at me, towering over me, putting his hands on me, and I was able to escape, like his bedroom. But then I had to escape the front door and the front door was also locked, so I go downstairs. In New York there's like two other entrances, so I had to go downstairs. He's chasing after me and then I realized, oh my God, there's a back door. So I like ran out the back door and I hauled butt downtown and I ran six blocks as he's running after me, wow, and I I have to ask you because you are like what's the word I don't want to say little, Petite, Petite.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're small, yeah, Is this guy what did he look?
Speaker 3:seven okay so he wasn't wasn't like six, six three hundred pounds. He was five, seven, two, ten, but yeah, that's big for me? Yeah, he's bigger than you, yeah and having somebody tower over you with their fists I was actually shocked at how you really were.
Speaker 2:I was like I love it, because I never meet people shorter than me.
Speaker 1:On social media. You look big, you know what I mean. So I'm like that's all y'all.
Speaker 2:Shut up, Dad. Short people have a reason to live.
Speaker 1:I'm just messing.
Speaker 2:There's this song that I have from middle school, People used to tell me short people ain't got no reason to live, and they would sing this song over me. I'm like shut up.
Speaker 1:That's because there was a song in like the 80s or 70s.
Speaker 3:that said something about that, so everybody wanted to sing it.
Speaker 2:Well, they used to sing it to me when I was a kid.
Speaker 1:Kids are mean, buddy, kids are mean. Are you having a revival right now, or what?
Speaker 2:How long was this relationship that you were in? We this relationship that you were in.
Speaker 3:We were in a relationship for a year and a half and I felt trapped. I felt like there's nothing that I can do to get out of this. There was multiple times that I would break up with him, but then it's like he's blowing up my social media. I have multiple social media places he's blowing up all of them, Having his cousins call me, emailing me, sending me flowers. So it got to a point where I was like I'll just stay in this relationship and just be miserable, as long as the consequences, I'm not getting hurt and I understand why I take survivors of abuse seven times to get out, and even me. I was long distance with him.
Speaker 3:I felt trapped.
Speaker 1:I felt like there's no other option here, Wow, you were long distance and you felt controlled and manipulated and trapped in there and uh, so when you would fly back there to see him and he would be abusive when you would fly back there fly back, or he would come here.
Speaker 3:You would be abusive, or on the phone, yeah, that's crazy but see you had.
Speaker 2:You said the thing about the flowers and the makeup and the sorry, so there was always the after that, oh yeah, there was always the after that.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, there was always that Baby I'm sorry, I won't do it again. And then there was the spiritual abuse of like well, this is the Bible. Look at this Bible verse. Or the enemy's just trying to get in between.
Speaker 1:Did he use the one where one must just submit to a man?
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, or the enemy's just trying to get in between something that God sent you know, and so it was very confusing. Yeah, very confusing.
Speaker 1:I hate it when men use scripture to manipulate women. Manipulate buddy, yeah.
Speaker 3:And then my spiritual gifts that God gave me, he would be like that's demonic. And who do you believe in? And I'm like God. Like what are you talking about? Wow, you know, and I'm the type of person this is something that I learned from Pastor Sri love everyone all the time, for no reason at all, and so I don't care what religion you are, I'm going to love you.
Speaker 1:You can be.
Speaker 3:Muslim. You can be Christian Catholic. I'm going to love you regardless. And I'm going to love you, regardless of your beliefs. I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong. I'm just going to share what God has done in my life. But he hated that about me.
Speaker 1:He hated in my life, but he hated that about me.
Speaker 3:He hated that I accepted other people in their religion. Yeah, he was like die hard christian and you have to believe in this. And he would like scream at me really I'm like I'm not gonna do that.
Speaker 1:I love everyone yeah he must have got the people. I got scripture where it says love your neighbor as yourself oh, but it doesn't apply to him no no, it doesn't apply to him so.
Speaker 2:What Hypocrite yeah, that's all I hear is just hypocrite.
Speaker 3:So we had a trip booked to Santorini and Greece and I honestly didn't want to go and I was ignoring my intuition and I even had a whole panic attack getting on the flight.
Speaker 2:Did you think, maybe, that this was going to be a trip that could make things better and we'll after we get back it's going to be so much better, kind of thing?
Speaker 3:I didn't think that initially. No, okay, but I think I was just. I think it was in that space of like I'm trapped, I'm just gonna go along with whatever he wants to do, as long as I don't get hurt oh, so he booked it yeah, he booked everything he paid for it, it all Okay. And so we went on our trip. When we were in Barcelona, he put his hands on me.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 3:And then, when we got to Santorini, he put his hands on me, but this time he made me bleed on my hand.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow.
Speaker 3:And I was texting my friends, I was in a group chat with them, like I really am miserable, I want to go home, but a flight home is 1800 like. So I think I'm just gonna walk on eggshells, do whatever he says, just get home safe. That was my plan, um. And then my friend says well, I hate to break it to you, but he's gonna propose to you, oh wow and so um we we fly to santorini from greece.
Speaker 1:So he had talked to your friends about what he was doing oh, wow, yeah.
Speaker 3:So we get to Santorini and I know that this is going to happen. I know it.
Speaker 1:I got to ask. I'm sorry, this is man. Your friends, knowing the situation you're in and him talking to them about marriage, didn't ever cross their mind to say something. No, no.
Speaker 3:And no, and I don't talk to that friend anymore, and that's a whole other story, the whole other podcast.
Speaker 3:I don't talk to that friend anymore, um, but we get. We're in santorini and I remember we had one final fight and I think it was a spillover from like when he made me bleed and all of that, and I remember I got in his face. Finally I stood up to him because most of the time I was just trying to run away. This time I stood up to him and I got in his face. Finally I stood up to him because most of the time I was just trying to run away.
Speaker 3:This time I stood up to him and I got in his face with my finger in his face and I said, if you hurt me just one more time, I promise you, I promise you that I'm going to self-defend myself. And he looked at me and he stepped back and I think he knew that I was like serious. And then he went to the room and like locked himself in.
Speaker 3:That probably was the best decision um, but then she was coming out with a knife no but then he told me he did come back and he was like but we have, you know, this photo shoot tomorrow. I knew what was gonna happen and I was like, yeah, I guess we could still do it, because he's like, I already paid for it. I'm like, fine, I'll do whatever. So I knew it was coming and I remember I went out because in Santorini they have the hot tubs outside of the hotel room.
Speaker 3:So I went out and I sat with God for an hour and I was like God, what do you want me to do? Because I know that you don't want me to be with this man and I need your help because I don't know what I'm going to answer to him. And I just prayed and I was like God, just please help me. I need you to help me. So we get ready, we get the car picks us up, we go for the photo shoot, we take our pictures, we climb this beautiful Orthodox Greek church and, as the sun was setting, he gets down on one knee and proposes to me and I stayed quiet because I was having a conversation with God. I said God, what do you want me to do? Remember, I told you I was going to ask you and God says say yes, I'm going to tell you why.
Speaker 2:If you would have said no, right then and there you may have died.
Speaker 3:It would have been bad. So I said yes. And then he's like I love you. And in the video I even say something like are you for real? Because I didn't believe him.
Speaker 2:Do you love me? So we go out A couple days in Barcelona? You weren't telling me that.
Speaker 3:We go out, we celebrate, we call all our friends and for a split second. This yes, this book.
Speaker 2:That picture.
Speaker 3:Yes, for a split second. That's you. Yeah, that's me.
Speaker 2:Oh really, that's in Santorini. It's a photo shoot bud. Oh wow, it's on the cover of her book. Now, nice, wow, talk about redemption man. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I'm going through a whole bunch.
Speaker 2:Right now I'm just like wow, look what.
Speaker 1:God has done. That's fantastic. So we get back Wow.
Speaker 3:We get back. No, for a split second I was like, oh my God, maybe he does love me and maybe this is going to change and he is going to. You know, and I got excited. I'm not going to lie. I was excited for, like two days.
Speaker 2:How many women?
Speaker 3:do that. Yeah, we lie to ourselves Right there. I, it's going to get better. He does love me, and so one of the things that we agreed to was to get a Christian counselor premarital counseling. So we signed up for it, and two weeks later he cursed me out already.
Speaker 2:But he's in New York and you're in Arizona. So okay, there's just a lot.
Speaker 3:I was going to have to move.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I got to ask you, because I know that women have this. I can fix them complex.
Speaker 2:I'll change him. I'll save her. Men have this hero complex of. I can save her.
Speaker 1:Did it ever cross your mind that you could make, you could change him.
Speaker 3:No, I never thought that I could change him. I would always tell him like you need to change yourself and you need to work on your childhood trauma, the same way that I'm going to counseling. So I never felt that I could. But I think I stayed so long because he would say I'm going to counseling.
Speaker 2:So his childhood was rough. Okay, so he talked to you and shared with you about his. Yeah, he had a rough upbringing that does not give you a right it does not excuse a man to put his hands on a woman. Ever Go for a walk, dude.
Speaker 3:And he put his hands on his mom too. So oh, wow and she's deaf, so that's a whole other story. But so we get back. He cursed me out oh, that's how he knew how to he cursed me out one day and then it was like my heart broke that day, like I was just like, if you're cursing me out as a fiance, what are you gonna do to me as a wife?
Speaker 3:and so I called off the engagement. I was like this is it're done. And I did it while we were separated so that it was, you know, safe, and we continued in conversation for about a month and a half, because there is no like just cold turkey with someone like that. He was blowing up my email my text.
Speaker 3:Cousins were calling me, and it wasn't until December of 2023 that I was like okay, you need to stop contacting me or I'm going to put a restraining order. And he did. I think he got the message. But then this is where God started working in me. I got really, really sick that December, like you know, like a normal. It felt like a flu, but everything I didn't have the flu or anything and I ended up with an ear infection and I heard God say I gave you an ear infection because you don't listen to me.
Speaker 2:so that's how he works.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he's like I need you to sit down like he was, like he was yelling at me he's like you need to sit down and listen and I'm like okay, god. So I spent three weeks not working, not doing anything, just being to him. I was having very lucid, vivid dreams with him. I was watching documentaries on abuse, I was educating myself through books, I was journaling, wow. And then I was introduced to a SOZO. Do you know what a SOZO is?
Speaker 2:S-O-Z-O.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I went to Three Rivers Church. Christian Church in Gilbert.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And they did a sozo healing on me. So basically it's like where you meet with a volunteer pastor and they have you go back into your childhood and heal all of that and you pray and they can cast out demons.
Speaker 2:Like an inner healing. It's like a deliverance, it's a deliverance, okay, okay.
Speaker 3:So we did that and we went through my whole childhood and the whole situation, and then at the end she goes what is god telling you to do in this moment? And I said he's telling me to go face my abusers, he's telling me to go file criminal reports on both of the sexual abuser and my ex.
Speaker 3:and she's like okay, so go do the assignment yeah and, um, like two weeks later, I booked, booked a flight. I went to New Jersey and I spoke to a detective on the phone and I kind of told him briefly what happened in New Jersey 13 years back and he was like okay, well, since you're long distance, we'll just do it through Zoom. Whatever you know, we'll take your intake. And then he called me back an hour later and he's like can you come into the? Are you still in town? I said yeah. He's like can you, um, come into the? Are you still in town?
Speaker 1:I said yeah, he's like, can you come in tomorrow 8 am. We need to expedite this. Sorry, I don't want to cry you're good, sorry.
Speaker 3:And he says I need to expedite this. So I fly, I, I drive into the police station the next morning and they take my statement and they asked me do you want to file charges? And I said yes, and so they brought me back to the little room and then they bring out his pictures and they said I want you to identify him. And I identified him by a mugshot.
Speaker 2:And they said we know him very well, They've been building a case.
Speaker 3:Oh wow, they're like we know him very well, we know where he works. We know where he works, we know what he does Back when this happened to you in 2010,. He was involved in certain things which we can't disclose. His friend that was with your best friend also was involved with him. We can't share what it is, but you get the gist.
Speaker 3:And then they're like go get, go get lunch, and then um, come back and I said okay, so I went and I got lunch and when I came back they had gotten a warrant to do a phone tap.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:So the judge signed off on a phone tap and now I'm in the room again with the two detectives and the guy that facilitates the phone tap, and they want you to call him. And I called him. Wow. And the first thing that he says when I answered the phone was I've been praying to god that you would call me so I can ask, so I can say that I'm sorry for what I did.
Speaker 2:Oh so he admits it right off the bat, and the detectives were like yes and so I don't mean to laugh, because it's nothing. But that's god.
Speaker 3:That's how I knew that god was the one that was orchestrating all of this, and he told me he's like I tried to add you on facebook six months ago, but you blocked me immediately. He's like so I've just been praying. He's like I've been um seeking god and I know that on my judgment day, when I die, I'm going to meet God, I'm going to meet Jesus, and I know that I'm going to have to face him for this. He's like so I don't want to leave this earth knowing that you don't forgive me. And he's like so whatever I can do to make this forgiveness process easier for you, I will do it. What do you need from me? This is God, and I said I need you to tell me exactly what happened that night.
Speaker 3:Because, obviously because the detectives are there, yeah, and he said exactly what I told them, like even down to. I remember I had buttoned buttoned pants.
Speaker 3:It wasn't a zipper, he's like you had buttoned pants, they were black and I did this and he, long story short, he denies drugging me and he denies raping me, but he does does admit to groping me, um. And then I did ask him like well, your friend called me and said that we had sex and he's like I don't know why. He said that you know whatever Um. And I asked him why did he do it without consent? And he said he doesn't know Um, he was just in a bad place in his life and he thought that I liked him and I was like well, you skipped a lot of steps.
Speaker 1:Usually you date someone you go out, you know like those steps.
Speaker 3:And you were also married. I was married and then towards the end I was like all right, I got to go and I was like but can I call you later, just you know? And he was like yeah, you can call me, he's like, but my wife is crazy, he's like so. And I immediately got tough on him and I was like your wife is not my problem, that's your problem. And then I went and I got on a flight, like immediately had to go to the airport, I flew and that was like one of the roughest flights. I was just crying and crying.
Speaker 2:I couldn't believe what God did. That's crazy.
Speaker 3:And the next morning the detectives called me and they're like You're back in Arizona. Yeah, they called me and they're like we went to detain him, to arrest him, and his wife would not allow it without legal counsel. So they weren't able to detain him and I said we'll go again, Like I don't care how many times you need to go.
Speaker 3:I said we'll go again, like I don't care how many times you need to go, you need to go get him. And they're like, okay, you know, Um, so anyways, uh, we were unable. Even though I sent them the name of the friend so they could interview him, they couldn't find him.
Speaker 3:They couldn't find the best friend, and unfortunately, my best friend passed away too, so she would have been my witness. They did go to speak to his wife his ex ex-wife and she didn't want to talk. She said I love janine, she's a great friend, but I don't want to be involved in this and she refused to give a statement wow, that inconvenience, damn man I don't care who I inconvenience now.
Speaker 3:No, yeah, no but that's oh god dude so, um, about two months later, and during this time I just kept focusing on the. I forgot which Bible verse it is. But it's if you have a faith of a mustard seed, you can move a mountain and I kept focusing on that and then about two months later I get a call from the detective and he said I was in. I forgot what state I was in. I was doing a reality TV show and I was at a restaurant having lunch with my cast members.
Speaker 2:And the detective calls and he says yes, yeah, I watched it.
Speaker 3:And he calls and he says unfortunately we don't have enough evidence and the statute of limitation for groping has passed. We don't have enough evidence for rape, so the prosecutor's office has decided not to move forward with it. Wow, and I broke down like in the middle of a restaurant.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I cried like a baby, like I mean snot coming out of my face. One of my cast members. Thank God she was there. I need to shout out Her name is Emily. She came and just held me like a baby and I cried in her arms and just cried and cried, cried, and I cried at the in the car, I cried in the airport. I couldn't stop. It was like I just how'd you feel?
Speaker 2:what it made you feel I was?
Speaker 3:angry. I was like god, why did you bring me this far, god? Why did you bring? Me this far for this. Why did you bring me this far? Why did you have me do all this? And also revenge. I need revenge.
Speaker 2:I was so angry and I was so hurt.
Speaker 3:Like what do you mean? Like I am so good to you, God, why did you put me through this? You know, and so yeah.
Speaker 2:It's just crazy that you come in and share the story with detectives, then they set it all up and for recording. Dude freaking says it word for word, other than the sexual contact, and because he didn't talk about the rape they couldn't uh, just the court, the judge. I think this is the other part of why a lot of women don't step up and say something, because that this and the prosecutor, what's it gonna do?
Speaker 3:the prosecutor did call me and she was like um, the law was made by men a hundred like thousands of years ago. And she's like and it's made so that, um 91, one man gets convicted, 99 go free. She's like so there's not a lot of options for victims. And she told me she's like if you're looking to heal by convicting him, that's not the way.
Speaker 3:She's like, if you want to heal, go and do that yeah and so I was like okay, and that's that's when I started writing my book. But I did go through a journey of like I even met with pastor lacy of like forgiveness, and I remember the day I came to church and it was the forgiveness one and I was dealing with anger and like I want revenge, and I want and, and you know, and like going through that whole process and then um and then God was also telling me to go file a report on my ex abusive boyfriend, um.
Speaker 3:So I finally went and did that and that didn't go anywhere. They also they told me that it's not considered being held hostage if the police didn't actively come to get me out of the situation. Um, they said that because he hit me with the open hand and not a closed fist, it's not considered abuse. They said it's harassment. So I feel like I just got um. I got failed in multiple different ways, um dang. So it's been a journey with god. I'm in a place now where I'm like I love you, thank you like. I went through all of this for a reason and you know I was able to write my book and share all of this in here purpose purpose purpose out of the pain I feel that your god was testing your obedience oh, and he still is.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you, and in the process of him testing your obedience and you stepping out of faith and being obedient for one. It's on record now. Yeah, even though there was no charges pressed against these people, it's still on record.
Speaker 2:You don't know what in the future he does. So if something ever comes down the road again, they have this history of him now.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. So I don't know. I just feel like God was testing your obedience and he want those things on record. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Because you were in that room with for both of them. Yeah, you were in the sozo. Yeah, and that's what he told you to do. Well, I'll tell you this. So it gets deeper, I, and I'm gonna get to my dream real quick. Um, when did you pop into cr?
Speaker 3:because you, you popped into cr, right around this time when I, after I got sick, I came to cr yeah so I've been sober now for a year and a month or a year and two months now.
Speaker 3:One year chip you gave me and I've been celibate a year and a month or a year and two months now, One year chip you gave me and I've been celibate and I also during this period I said no dating, so I haven't gone out on dates. I've also haven't entertained men in that way because they don't deserve me yet. Come on, so I've just been.
Speaker 2:Focused on your son. What God has you doing?
Speaker 3:Me and my son and God. So okay, so this is the crazy part, so I don't know what made me call the New York Police Department recently. And I called and I gave them the domestic violence number from that incident and they're like we don't have any record of that.
Speaker 2:Oh, the complaint number. Yeah, oh, wow, they're like we don't have no record of that.
Speaker 3:This number goes to a woman that did grand larceny on a car or something like that. She lives on Myrtle Ave and I'm like, okay, well then, can you look me up in the system? And they're like we can't find anything and I'm like what are the chances that that would ever happen? He's like never.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 3:And then I was like okay. And so she told me she's like can you go back? Because one of the incidents that I had reported was I was in the car, he held me hostage and he was hitting me in the car and I have audio of it.
Speaker 2:That's the one that I saw. Yeah, yeah, and you're driving. It's bad yeah.
Speaker 3:And so she's like can you look at the metadata of that video? And I'm like, oh, that's a great idea. So I looked at it and it was actually in New Jersey, not New York. And she's like I recommend you go to New Jersey and report it, because New Jersey has a statute of limitation of five years for domestic violence and the rules there are different than New York. They're more um.
Speaker 2:New York's liberal yeah, but. New Jersey is more strict with that um.
Speaker 3:So I was like okay, so I'm getting on a flight tonight and I'm doing that Tonight.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh wow yeah.
Speaker 3:My flight's at 1030 and I'm going to the police station tomorrow.
Speaker 2:In New Jersey.
Speaker 1:Come on man To file, To file.
Speaker 3:And it's important for me. A because they say that they can't find my record and. B, because I was like, oh so this is a whole different state with whole different laws. Yeah, and I even I had called them and they're like we're ready for you Whenever you want to come in, we'll help you.
Speaker 2:That's what I feel. I feel like the way you weren't seen in New York. You're going to be seen in Jersey, but I'm coming, I'm going there without expectations. I'm going there like God.
Speaker 3:I'm just doing what you're telling me to do. Doing what you're telling me to do and I release it all to you.
Speaker 2:I'm coming in a different place, so there's no revenge, is there?
Speaker 3:no. So if it's a good outcome for me, great. If it's not, I'm gonna use my voice in other ways like this yeah so let me get to my, my um dream because I do have to leave soon. I have to get to the airport. I had um the other day I think it was Wednesday, thursday I was just thinking about my past and the things that I used to do, like drinking and all of that, and I was like you know those moments where you overthink it.
Speaker 3:And I talked to God and I was like God, like do I need to ask for forgiveness again? And God was like you already asked for forgiveness. You repented, You're fine.
Speaker 1:Like relax.
Speaker 3:I was like you already asked for forgiveness, you repented, you're fine, like relax. I was like okay. So I had a dream that night and this is what I mean. God gives me the best spiritual gifts.
Speaker 3:I was lucid dreaming, so I was awake in my dream and in my dream I was sitting like on a pedestal and I was wearing this white dress robe thing and this beautiful black woman with a white dress, too, was cleansing my feet with like oils and like honey and like water. And then this beautiful man in a white robe came and he grabbed me by the hand and started leading me and I'm like where are we going? And he's like Sorry, he said you were chosen. You get to go clean Jesus' feet now. He chose you out of everyone. And so I started to cry in the dream and I'm like I'm worthy enough, like out of all of these people. He came and chose me and he's like you're worthy and you were the chosen one, now go clean his feet. And I got so excited, like I was like chosen one, now go clean his feet. And I got so excited, like I was like I get to go clean his feet.
Speaker 3:And then I woke up so I didn't even get. I didn't get to do it because I was so excited. But God made it a point to like have me lucid dream that I was awake and I will remember this dream for the rest of my life. And that dream, just it just made me feel cleansed. I feel like I got baptized in that dream.
Speaker 3:I feel cleansed, I feel whole, I feel renewed, I feel like everything that happened in the past is no longer me come on and then um what we were talking about earlier, nico yeah he invited me to that vision dinner yeah and I got to see my life like what god wants for me, and so I just think it's like perfect timing, like this dream and me going to new jersey tomorrow. I'm just excited amen. So I would love your input on like what this dream okay.
Speaker 2:So what I feel right now is you're in the season of martha and right now all jesus wants from you is to be a Mary, and I want you to really study that story in the Bible of what Martha and Mary and what it really looked like, because Mary at that time literally took the most expensive. It was the one where Judas literally said why did we waste this on Jesus' feet? We could have sold that for a lot of money. Mary took it and broke it and poured it over Jesus' feet and Jesus said this look what she's done for me, and even her sister said why can't she help us cook?
Speaker 1:and do all the other things and he said they were being.
Speaker 2:God wants your worship right now, god wants your worship. Right now, god wants your worship right now.
Speaker 1:This is your season to sit at his feet. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And just listen, obey.
Speaker 3:And I have been doing that, but I think like it's deeper now. Yeah, and like he also showed me just wearing white, I just feel like.
Speaker 1:Pure.
Speaker 2:It's purity Cleansed.
Speaker 3:You said it, I'm washed I feel like I got baptized again and the dream is amazing so the book.
Speaker 1:What's the book called?
Speaker 3:oh, it's called calling forth the waves. I named it that because I was overlooking the ocean in santorini and I I called it that because it's me calling forth everything that I needed to address in my life abuse, childhood trauma, everything. And I did all of it through this past year, so I talk about about all of that in here.
Speaker 2:Amen. If somebody wants, if somebody's listening or they're watching and they want to go and get that book, how would they do that?
Speaker 3:Callingforththewavescom, or you can find me on Instagram, janine Hernandez underscore. I'll send you the link.
Speaker 2:And I know about the, the book publishing academy. Yeah, Please. Yeah, share that.
Speaker 3:So I, yeah, share that, yeah. So I'm a book publishing coach. I'm the founder of the Book Publishing Academy. I coach writers to self-publish their books. We've helped over 140 authors. They've been number one bestsellers, they've been on the news. It's just God's doing amazing things. Come on, man, having them share their stories.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and them share their stories. Yeah, and you're doing something pretty cool that I want you to talk about too, because one of our guests was actually we connected with you and you're doing this collaboration thing who?
Speaker 3:nikki, nicole, nicole, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we're doing an. I'm sorry, I'm like that. We're doing an anthology love you, nicole yes, we're doing an anthology book, so it's 20 authors that will get to share their story in one book about how they overcame abuse. But I want them to specifically talk about how God pulled them out of that and what.
Speaker 2:God has been doing in their life.
Speaker 3:So yeah, nicole's a part of it. I still have seven spots left if anybody is interested.
Speaker 2:She's looking for men.
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm also looking for men, amen. And when do you expect this to be done?
Speaker 3:That one we're doing like an August or September launch.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, because I'm still recruiting people. Amen, okay, amen.
Speaker 3:So I have to get to my flight though.
Speaker 2:What are you hoping for in the future?
Speaker 3:Peace, peace. I honestly want to travel. I will travel the world. I'm going to share God's message and help more people publish their books.
Speaker 1:Amen.
Speaker 3:And then just be an amazing mom to my son. And if God brings me the man of my dreams, then great, but if he doesn't, I just want peace and joy, amen, amen, simple.
Speaker 1:This one's you, buddy, I'm praying. Yes, you are All right man.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much, sis. I really appreciate you coming on and just how open and honest and real you were. I think that you helped some people. I think that in the future there may be some ladies who listen to this, who might take that step and value themselves and get out rather than staying in, because there's life after.
Speaker 1:Before you pray. If there was a woman who was listening who finds herself in a situation similar to yours, what advice would you give her to get out or to report a situation? What advice would you give a lady in that situation right now?
Speaker 3:I would say you have to report it. It needs to be documented. They need a paper trail. Even if it was like me where they did nothing, it needs a paper trail because there's going to be another woman or another man and they need to have that evidence Also, give yourself grace through it and the one thing that I could say is just hold on, Like if you are feeling having ideations of unaliving yourself, just hold on because I promise you, once you leave and you go through the healing, there is so much joy after it.
Speaker 3:So just hold on Just one more day.
Speaker 1:And quit believing the lies. It's never going to get better. They're just going to keep abusing you. If they're already abusing you and they keep down you, I promise I'll get.
Speaker 3:For me now it's one time. Anyone Friends, friendship, family, relationships Once they show you who they are One time.
Speaker 1:Amen. Thank you for that. Thank you for that, thank you.
Speaker 2:Let me pray for you, man, jesus, god, I just thank you for what you've done today, lord, I thank you for how far you've brought Janine, god, your daughter, man. It is only a work that you could do, jesus, your daughter, man. It is only a work that you could do. Jesus, um, I just see, god, when she's talking, and just your light inside of her. I can see it in her smile, I can see it in her eyes.
Speaker 2:God, you have done a really, really good work, um, so I pray that whoever's watching, whoever's listening, god, um, that they can find hope in this testimony because, god, if you can do it for her, you can do it for them, um, so I just thank you for what you're getting ready to do in new jersey, um, this week, um, god, I just thank you that, uh, there will be a good end to all of this and she'll be able to come out the other side just super thankful for everything that you've done, because you're a good God. You know exactly what we need. So I just bless Janine, God, and all she's doing in life in Jesus' name, amen, amen, janine, can you pray for us? Can you pray for Speak Life.
Speaker 3:Oh, I don't know how to pray.
Speaker 2:Oh. I love you so much. You're the best I'm going to be honest with you.
Speaker 3:I don't know how and I've asked friends like can you teach me?
Speaker 2:All I want you to do right now is talk to God on our behalf. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3:So, god, they are doing some amazing things, Like, literally, you are working through them, and we are very similar in that I'm helping people publish books, but they're helping people share their voices. So this is extremely powerful what you guys are doing, and thank you God for using them and their stories to share God's kingdom with everyone. So thank you God.
Speaker 2:Jesus, thank you so much that was great right out of the heart, straight to.
Speaker 1:God's ears. Lesson number one it doesn't have to be some long drawn out thing. Lesson number two that was great Right out of the heart straight to God's ears, man.
Speaker 2:Lesson number one it doesn't have to be some long, dry thing.
Speaker 1:Lesson number two it's just your heart. Just from the heart, just share your heart. That's all a prayer is. It's just your heart, man.
Speaker 2:Just talking to the king.
Speaker 1:There's no formula, there's no pattern, there's no.
Speaker 2:To this out. Thou can be, it's just your heart straight to God.
Speaker 1:Man, that's all. Prayer is yeah, and the Bible even says don't be like those guys who stand on the corner and say these big, long prayers.
Speaker 2:Jesus, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:God don't want you to sit there and know every Bible. Well, I can remember every Bible verse. It's just your heart, man. Yeah, that's prayer.
Speaker 2:I really appreciate you, jean, much, for coming on, man, and sharing um. I don't know where you're watching from where you're listening, but, uh, please like, subscribe, follow the channel so you can get all the future notifications on all the upcoming testimonies. Um, if you yourself would like to come on uh, speak life az and share your testimony, you can reach out through facebook, instagram, youtube, spotify, apple. Um, let us know if you could please uh, support the show. Man, we can use all the support we can get. If you comment on there, just type one word out there, jesus, it does great things for the algorithms, man, and getting the testimony out so we can be seen. But, god, this is all for your glory. So until next time, we're going to continue to speak life AZ. God bless you, god bless you, thank you.