Mark Gill's Testimony

The moment Mark Gill put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger became the turning point that would transform his life forever. Miraculously, the gun didn't fire. Minutes later, a stranger knocked on his door claiming God had sent him—at precisely the same moment Mark had cursed God in desperation.

Mark's raw, unfiltered testimony takes us from the streets of 1960s Compton through decades of addiction, tragedy, and self-destruction. As a child, he navigated violence, poverty, and sexual abuse while learning to fight for survival. His sister's death in a car accident haunted him with guilt for years, driving him deeper into cocaine and alcohol dependence.

After multiple failed attempts at sobriety, Mark found himself at age 45 with nothing left—no hope, no purpose, ready to end it all. But what seemed like the end became an extraordinary beginning. Through recovery, Mark discovered a relationship with God that completely transformed his understanding of purpose and service.

Today, Mark runs Gill's Auto Service, helping single parents with vehicle repairs, and serves as a recovery pastor and prison ministry leader. His life took another miraculous turn in 2022 when his heart stopped six times, yet he survived with no lasting damage—leaving doctors baffled by his inexplicable recovery.

This episode showcases how God can redeem even our darkest moments, turning a lifetime of addiction and pain into a powerful testimony of hope and healing. Mark's journey reminds us that no one is beyond redemption and that our greatest struggles can become our most effective ministry. Listen now and discover how "recovery is giving up one thing for everything."

What's your turning point waiting to happen? Share your thoughts or your own recovery story in the comments below.

Transcript

Introduction and Honoring Mark

Speaker 1 0:17

all right, everybody. Welcome back to the speak life az podcast. Testimony of jesus and everyday people. I'm your host, eddie, and always with me is my son, rowdy Jesus what up, dude yeah man oh, what's up, dude?

Speaker 2 0:29

what's up, bro? You think you want to throw down or something? Oh man, I was working out, bro. I was lifting today. I was running, I was on the exercise bike man, I saw a picture of weights. It's hard to record yourself lifting. Everybody wants that.

Speaker 1 0:42

I'm like how do I do that? I'm just kidding man. Good to see you doing that, though, yeah man.

Speaker 2 0:47

I'm trying to better my life and better my health. I lost a lot of weight Trying to get stronger. Life change baby.

Speaker 1 0:52

Life change baby. Yeah, what's up, bro? Good, oh yeah.

Speaker 2 0:57

I'm really excited for this one dude, but I don't care.

Speaker 1 1:03

This is my friend buddy. I'm excited to sit down and just spend some time with him, dude.

Speaker 2 1:06

God used this man to change me and see some things to where I could see. He took away some religious things that I had for pastors and recovery it was like God used this. Yeah, just be you. Yep, that's it. Who'd you bring with you, man? Dude, we got our brother, mark Mark Gill. How you doing, friend.

Speaker 4 1:27

Mr Mark, what's going on, buddy? I am doing so good being around you guys.

Speaker 1 1:33

You guys just lift me up. We love you, dude.

Speaker 4 1:36

And I'm pretty sure that's not the Holy Spirit. I think, it's you guys. I he's in here, but you guys are doing the heavy lifting right now. You make it easy though, brother.

Speaker 2 1:44

Amen.

Speaker 1 1:44

When we're around you, we're around our people. Come on, man, we're family, you're someone that makes it easy for us just to be who we are, to laugh, to have fun, because people church recovery is not that dang serious man you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 1:58

No, it needs to be fun. It does need, that's a fact.

Speaker 1 2:01

Before we get too carried away. Man, God always makes it very clear to us to honor his children when they come on. So we just want to take a moment and honor you, brother. It's such a privilege and an honor for us to sit down with you. We know you personally, We've spent some time with you already. But, man, you mean the world to us, brother, and for you to take time out of your day. We know you're busy with your company and church and family and stuff like that.

Speaker 3 2:24

Brother, prison, prison, so to carve out a couple hours for us man, it means a lot to us bro.

Speaker 4 2:29

For real it really does.

Speaker 1 2:30

Thank you. I was telling somebody today what's the most valuable commodity that you can't get more of it's time. Time, man, it's time. So time is the most valuable thing we have and for someone to carve out a few hours for us.

Speaker 2 2:47

To me, bro, that's worth its weight in gold. Yeah, so we thank you for that real to come and spend with us.

Speaker 4 2:49

Yeah, it's absolutely my pleasure.

Speaker 2 2:51

Yeah, it really is, yeah uh, for for me, bro, when, um, when I was talking to dad man, I was kind of like man, who are some good guests we can get in for this new year. Um, you were one of the heavy hitters that we wanted on. Um, for me personally, mark man, he's gonna cry.

Speaker 2 3:09

No, I'm not, I might I'm ready to cry some more if you cry so, dude, I don't know why, man, but growing up and through my life and even out, coming out of addiction and through teen challenge, I guess I had this polished view of a pastor, this polished view of what it's supposed to look like.

Speaker 2 3:30

I guess the pedestal, yeah, the pedestal. And so you come in from Sun Valley, bro, in our first year at CR here, and you, I believe, were our first testimony. I believe you were one of our first teachers and you connected me with other brothers so that we could bring them in you. We would not be the cr that we are brother if you didn't come in and help us the way that you did and and lead us into the, the different people that you were able to give us 100. So I just thank you for that, um, but I think the the real thing is God just used you man to just help me be myself. Like dad was saying I was telling our last testimony man, I love Jesus, I just cuss a little.

Speaker 4 4:17

I got the sticker I'm gonna have him, make me one.

Speaker 2 4:21

We've got a creacut machine. I'm gonna put it on my bumper, bro. I love you man, yeah. But so let me just pray real quick, please, and then we'll kind of get into this thing. Jesus, jesus and Holy Spirit. Thank you God, god, wow, lord, I thank you for this holy moment. I thank you, god, for what you are getting ready to do over these airwaves. Thank you, god.

Speaker 2 4:49

God I thank you for your son, mark. I thank you, god, for what you brought him out of Lord. I thank you, jesus, for what you've done with his life. I thank you, god, for the blessing that's on him and the blessing that he is to others. Thank you, others, god, I just pray for this testimony that whoever's going to watch this, whoever's going to listen to this God, that they can hear you in him and through him. Thank you, lord. God, I pray that you anoint this podcast right now, in the name of Jesus, heal your people and save your people. Deliver your people, god, and do it what only you can do in jesus name, amen amen, yeah, this is a little different, but I can already feel it.

Speaker 2 5:32

Yeah, um. So when god gave this to us, um, brother, it was in 2020. Covid, uh, the shutdown. It seemed like he gave a lot of people podcasts in 2020. Man, but for Uh.

Speaker 2 5:45

But for the first couple of years, um, me and dad were not obedient. We kind of were doing what we wanted to do. I set up a studio in my bedroom. I was preaching videos. That's not at all what God said to do.

Speaker 2 5:59

Um, he showed us a three cord strand and he said to sit down with people and record their testimonies, um, so speak, life az podcast, the testimony of jesus in everyday people. It does not matter if you're like dad and you're over at the muffler shop cutting on cars and welding and greasy hands, or myself here at the church flipping stuff, getting a sunday ready, facilities and maintenance, or like yourself doing everything that you're doing. We're all everyday people. We've all got a story. Yeah, we've all come from somewhere and, if we know god, we've gone through some things and experienced him in ways that now we can share him with others so that they can hear and see that he's real. Um, so, basically, man, what we want from you today is just who mark gill is. Where were you born? Um, what was your your family, home, life growing up? What was? What was school like for you? Um, brothers and sisters, mom and dad, man with sports, with sports, your thing, um, me and dad and yourself working in recovery. We know that a lot of times the stuff later in life that we actually got to start the healing process with Jesus with it comes from childhood hurts and childhood traumas and stuff like that man. So if you want to get into any of your life, man, the hardships and the trials, but I think the most important thing we want to get from you today, brother, is your encounter with Jesus. Because, mark, your encounter with Jesus was not like mine. It was not like dad. Dad met Jesus in a prison in Tucson, mine was at teen challenge at a blue altar at 1515 West grand.

Speaker 2 7:35

So I want to know where God met you and what that, what that was like, what that encounter was like. And the cool thing is is anytime somebody encounters Jesus, if you read the word man, things change after that encounter was like. And the cool thing is is anytime somebody encounters Jesus, if you read the word man, things change after that encounter transformation, transformation, life change. So I want to know how your life changed after your encounter and it's not always peaches and rainbows, man, just because we come to God, dude. So I'm sure there's been some failures and mistakes after jesus um. So I just want you to just to get into your life and your encounter with god, how your life changed after um.

Speaker 2 8:12

And then at the very end, bro, you're still young, you've still got life. God, still the, the. The most influence that a man actually has on earth is between 50 and 70. Yeah, so you are just in this sweet spot, both of you men. So God has more for you guys. So I want to know if he's put anything in your heart, anything you're hoping and praying for and waiting for it to manifest a ministry, an opportunity, whatever. I just want to know what God has for you coming so we can pray for you, and then the cool thing is our listeners what God has for you coming, yeah, so we can pray for you, and then the cool thing is our listeners, they pray for you as well.

Speaker 1 8:49

Man yeah, yeah, you pray already, I did all right, yeah yeah, I just saw this picture. Before we get started, I saw this picture right, uh, this encounter with Jesus, like, hey, dude, I want to follow you. Oh yeah, jump in the fire yeah, you know what I? Mean and it. That's so good and it's like wait a minute, dude. He's like no, we need to purify you, wow. So just because we encounter Jesus doesn't mean their life becomes roses and rainbows and flowers and everything's just hunky-dory. No, it's followed by fire.

Speaker 4 9:19

That's followed by fire. It's a hard road.

Speaker 1 9:21

It is. It's a hard road, it is, it is, and I saw that one when he was praying and I was like oh God, we really willingly just jumped in the fire.

Speaker 4 9:29

You know what I mean it's a hard road. But you know what I look back at my life.

Speaker 2 9:36

This is easier than my life.

Speaker 4 9:38

That's all I have on that.

Speaker 1 9:39

Amen. So what was it like growing up?

Speaker 4 9:41

Yeah, Well, I always start my testimony off by telling people where I was born, because, I think it gives me a little street cred you know I was born in Linwood, california, which is really where. I was on the border of Compton and Linwood so I grew up there.

Speaker 2 9:59

And it was great. White boy in the ghetto. White boy in the ghetto, I was the minority. Oh wow, and I, white boy in the ghetto.

Speaker 1 10:04

I was the minority. Oh wow, and I didn't even know it. I didn't.

Speaker 4 10:09

No, we had an amazing time growing up, where.

Speaker 1 10:12

I grew up.

Speaker 4 10:13

I spent a lot of time in that area and in Whittier.

Speaker 2 10:16

Okay.

Speaker 4 10:17

So my cousins lived in Whittier, I lived in the Compton area and we had to be some tough kids. Oh yeah, because it wasn't like here oh, yeah, no no, it was you had to learn like when cars were driving by slow, to run because they might shoot guns at you yeah which happened and uh, they weren't shooting at us, they were shooting to scare us. I mean, we could hear the bullets zinging yeah well, they weren't aiming at us, but that happened a couple times right and um just that kind of stuff you know, learning things that you know when someone's walking at you.

Speaker 4 10:50

If there's two or more, you might want to go the other direction when?

Speaker 2 10:53

when were you born? Bro 1960 okay, all right. So you, you grew up, uh, 60s and 70s as a young man.

Speaker 4 11:01

yep, I grew up there 12 years, so I was in that area for 60s or 70s?

Speaker 2 11:06

Wow, now you said you were the minority, lots of Mexicans or more African-Americans.

Speaker 4 11:13

I would say more African-Americans. Where I was at in Whittier, which we spent a lot of time, was more.

Speaker 2 11:22

Mexicans when was the Watts?

Speaker 4 11:23

thing, the Watts riots In the 90s.

Speaker 2 11:24

When was the Watts thing, the Watts riots In the 90s?

Speaker 4 11:26

That was no. The Watts riots were in the 60s. Oh, jeez, oh yeah, I still remember that.

Speaker 2 11:30

Oh, I'm thinking of Rodney King. Rodney King, that was in the 90s. I wasn't there.

Speaker 3 11:36

Wow.

Speaker 1 11:36

But, I was there during the Watts riots.

Speaker 4 11:39

Being in an apartment building and I remember my dad and his friends with guns and us little kids being hit.

Speaker 3 11:48

And that was a. Thing. Wow, that was a thing. And it was a bad time for everybody. Wow For everyone.

Speaker 2 11:54

Yeah, the whole city burned.

Speaker 4 11:57

Oh, they were going through some growing moments. Yeah, it's a lot like Rodney King, though. Yeah. It ignited a fire.

Speaker 1 12:03

Yeah, and it was lit.

Speaker 4 12:04

It's a lot like Rodney King though it ignited a fire and it was lit. I wasn't old enough to really know more about it, but during the 60s was fear, fear, fear for me even growing up, oh wow, we had one of the presidents was killed. His brother was killed. Kfk yeah, vietnam War was going on. All I ever heard about was fear from my parents.

Speaker 1 12:26

Oh, when you guys get older, we're gonna have to move you to Canada so you're not in the war, things like that at. Like you know, 11, 12, yeah, wow and yeah, so it was.

Speaker 2 12:34

What was your house like growing up? What was the home of?

Speaker 4 12:37

my dad. We have five kids in the family my older sister, tammy me, and then a brother and then two sisters okay, and you, my older sister Tammy me, and then a brother and then two sisters Okay, and you got an older sister. Yes, but you're the oldest boy, I'm the oldest boy, but I know, that older sister was beating you up.

Speaker 4 12:56

We beat the crap out of each other daily Amen, and we were 11 months apart from each other, so we were very close just like my two older kids same thing, but we grew up in a very loving, dysfunctional household, like, for instance, my mom and my stepdad Don, which was with me most of my life. They were amazing and they gave us everything they could give us. At the same time, I'll tell you that we were very poor and we didn't have food a lot of times. One of the things I remember I think I even said that in my testimony. Here is one of our favorite things was because it was the only thing was toast and ketchup.

Speaker 2 13:39

Yeah, you look in the refrigerator.

Speaker 4 13:40

There's no milk there's no nothing. Me and my sister grabbing some bread, making toast and then getting ketchup out and putting it on it. It was awesome.

Speaker 1 13:49

My mom used to make us toast cereal. Oh yeah, she would take bread and rip it up, put it in a bowl, add a little bit of milk, a little bit of sugar and here you go.

Speaker 4 13:56

You can do that with cornbread too, yep. That sounds good.

Speaker 2 14:01

Four people food, I was like I remember eating cheese sandwiches.

Speaker 4 14:03

Me too.

Speaker 3 14:06

Government cheese sandwiches A little green.

Speaker 4 14:10

That tasted a little weird, but you know, when you're young and you're just don't know, you don't know. I do know that we other kids had more stuff than us. I know that a lot of other kids didn't get kicked out of their house and all of their house and all of a sudden all their belongings are in a car. Wow, and that happened.

Speaker 1 14:29

I remember it Wow.

Speaker 4 14:31

The weird part about me is with much dope and alcohol. I've had that. I have this memory.

Speaker 2 14:36

Memory to remember a lot that goes back and remembers so many things.

Speaker 4 14:42

As a matter of fact, god just light me up and I'll remember something I haven't thought about in 50, 60 years.

Speaker 1 14:47

Oh, holy Spirit, holy Spirit.

Speaker 4 14:48

Yeah, it's good, but we had a. My dad wasn't around us.

Speaker 2 14:54

Your real father, my real dad, okay.

Growing Up in Compton and Family Life

Speaker 4 14:56

But he loved us and we seen him and every time I got to see him, man, it was the most exciting moment of my life, because he always pulled in on a motorcycle or in a jeep yeah, okay, that's no kidding every time it was like man. I want to be like him and he worked on cars and fixed things amen yeah, but I had a lot of family around me besides my dad, like my uncle daryl, my dad's brother, he lived next to us for years.

Speaker 2 15:26

Oh, that's cool, so I had my dad through him.

Speaker 4 15:29

I got to work on my Uncle Daryl's GTO, nice. I remember sitting in the back. We got a picture of me just as a young kid sitting in the back of his GTO.

Speaker 3 15:38

Wow In the trunk you know, just holding tools but thinking I'm doing something.

Speaker 1 15:44

Come on.

Speaker 4 15:44

But my uncle Darrell bought us things, fixed bicycles up for us and did all the things like a dad would do All the stuff that my stepfather Don couldn't do. But God, looking back, god had all these people in my life and my family, my brothers' and sisters' lives like to give us everything we really needed.

Speaker 1 16:05

Yeah, you know, yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 3 16:07

It does?

Speaker 4 16:08

We didn't have an overflow of anything but what we had.

Speaker 1 16:11

You had support.

Speaker 4 16:12

It was awesome.

Speaker 1 16:13

Yeah.

Speaker 4 16:13

And we enjoyed it. Heck, I would play with cars, and if I didn't have a car to play with, I'd just find a little chunk of stick and call it a car little chunk of stick and call it a car. Yeah, and then little rocks were army men and you know, until I got them, you know. But like, imagination is what you use as a young kid you know quite often so you said something that stuck out to me right there, bro.

Speaker 2 16:33

You said that your stepdad couldn't, yeah, give you what your uncle was doing for you. That's right, what's that why? Why was that?

Speaker 4 16:43

because my stepdad don full-blown alcoholic. He took over a family with five kids, which makes him awesome, yeah, and he's a loving guy yeah so he wasn't the. He wasn't the drunk that got angry. Um, he's just drinking to probably cope with five kids that aren't his.

Speaker 3 17:06

That's real bro and my mother that yelled a lot.

Speaker 4 17:10

That's kind of where my mom is kind of a force to be reckoned with yeah, okay. And she's with Jesus right now, so he gets to deal with that force.

Speaker 3 17:18

Amen Okay.

Speaker 4 17:19

Anyways, my stepdad Don, though. He taught me everything that was really important in my life. Well, for instance, he taught me how to shoot guns, which is one of my favorite things in the world. He taught us how to play baseball. He taught us how to box.

Speaker 2 17:36

He was a boxer in the air force so we learned as young kids how to fight and fight well growing up as a minority in the hood, you need to know how to fight. Amen and fight well. Growing up as a minority in the hood, you need to know how to fight. Yeah, fighting was a daily thing. Oh yeah, bud, I picked the wrong corner, man.

Speaker 4 17:54

Yeah, my brother's like two years younger than me, but my brother and me fought every day. We put socks on our hands and we just beat the hell out of each other oh wow.

Speaker 4 18:03

But it was fun and then Don would show us what to do and how to move and all these things. But we really Don taught me. He taught me how to fish and he was terrible at fishing, so he ended up giving me all of his fishing stuff. He bought a toolbox once or got it for Christmas. He gave that to me when I was like 10 years old and said I don't know what to do with this, but I'm pretty sure you're going to figure this out.

Speaker 1 18:28

Yeah and um and yeah.

Speaker 4 18:29

so I got my first tools from him, which is my trade in the world, and um, learned to fish is, which is one of my favorite things. Learned to shoot guns, which is one of my favorite things still to this Everything he taught me, still my favorite thing You're still using it.

Speaker 2 18:42

Wow, still using it. Okay, yeah, that's cool.

Speaker 4 18:46

And Los Angeles Dodgers. That was our team growing up in California.

Speaker 2 18:49

Oh my God, Still my team Dodgers suck I'm sorry but they're still my team.

Speaker 1 18:54

I can't get away, I just can't get away from them when I put going to say testimony, mark G Dodgers suck, there you go.

Speaker 4 19:07

I love you, bro, Well it turned into the Oregon Ducks when I got older, so that might piss a lot of people off. Yes you, it's okay, dad.

Speaker 2 19:19

I have a group for sports addiction in CR. I'm going to make one.

Speaker 4 19:23

But sports along those lines. Once he taught us how to play baseball, that was the first sport I got into was league baseball in california and you had to try out for the team yes, sir and you know I'm here. I am like nine years old, wearing steel cleats. That was something that they didn't even have when we moved to oregon later on they were still plastic cleats but we californ, we California is legit, bro, it was legit.

Speaker 2 19:45

California is literally no joke. And you had to make a team. Team, yeah, yeah, and A lot of competition out there and it was fun yeah.

Speaker 4 19:54

I watch sports on TV all the time Car racing oh.

Speaker 2 19:57

I love cars With Don.

Speaker 4 20:00

Yeah, with time, everything, and every war movie that came on and every cowboy movie that came on was with.

Speaker 3 20:08

Don Like he was available.

Speaker 4 20:10

He made himself available.

Speaker 1 20:12

He did, he wasn't gone he went to work and came home.

Speaker 4 20:16

And he never missed a day at work. I remember him cutting off.

Speaker 2 20:18

What did he do for?

Speaker 4 20:18

work. He was a meat cutter.

Speaker 2 20:21

Like a butcher. A butcher which?

Speaker 4 20:23

he also learned in the military which he also learned in the military and that was his trade. I remember one time he almost cut his thumb off at work. He comes home and it's all stitched back up. He's got big bandages and he was right back to work and I think he was. They were worried because he missed two or three hours of work for the money, and so you didn't miss work.

Speaker 1 20:43

Kids these days, don't get that. No.

Speaker 4 20:45

I grew up different.

Speaker 1 20:47

Yeah, yeah, you work I can't tell you the last day I missed it's only because I was so sick I couldn't go I think last one was because I had yeah, you were sick, kidney stones yeah, oh, that's a good one. Yeah, that put me down couldn't walk yeah, I've heard that's painful.

Speaker 2 21:03

I'm so glad drink water, I do now bud.

Speaker 3 21:08

I love you boys. Water and beer.

Speaker 4 21:12

I heard this has got 90 percent water in it I get a lot of water oh, if you're drinking coors Light, oh gosh, it was watered down, made me gag, I got a little gag reflex.

Speaker 2 21:27

Oh, so your first sport you're playing Little League baseball. Yep, Like, did you ever experience travel teams and winning the state or anything cool Okay?

Speaker 4 21:37

Nope, nope, nope, we were just Little League guys.

Speaker 2 21:40

Okay, we played for like one, two, three, four years and then moved to oregon uh, so when you move, when you moved to oregon, the little league stopped, baseball stopped for me okay not for my brother.

Speaker 1 21:52

Okay, yeah, why did you guys move to oregon?

Speaker 4 21:54

you know, job and what it was, was my parents were always about keeping us safe. Oh, the neighborhood's getting worse in the 70s right so one of the things they did to keep us safe was put us in a catholic school when we were in california, okay, and that was turned out to be one of the most unsafest places for us, oh wow because that's where I experienced my first abuse yeah um, at least that's what I remember.

Speaker 4 22:22

damn, I don't know if it was the first or the second, but anyways it was definitely there and it was tough. One of the best times that ever happened at Catholic schools I still remember is when our nun teacher got sick and we had a substitute. And the substitute lady was not a nun. She smoked cigarettes.

Speaker 1 22:43

She was a lot like my mom.

Speaker 4 22:47

Oh, you're normal. And my mom came and my mom were.

Speaker 1 22:48

They were friends and all of a sudden.

Speaker 4 22:50

I wasn't this guy that got beat on in class because we were going to a catholic school. Yardsticks and we weren't catholic yeah, oh, so we had to always sit in the back somewhere. Never a part of really yeah, my first church experience like outsiders almost oh, absolutely yeah, whoa and then I was told I couldn't be. What was the word? I couldn't be baptized and confirmed a lot of things. I couldn't be, but I could be saved maybe I remember hearing that as a young kid thinking man I've got to look forward to.

Speaker 4 23:24

Then we go to this school and me and my sister, my brother in the very back when they're holding these mass things. And I still remember the smell of inside there, like the incense. We couldn't never take that little bread and water thing whatever, none of that Wow.

Speaker 3 23:40

No, you can't take your first communion.

Speaker 2 23:42

It sucked, yeah it sucked we.

Speaker 4 23:43

No, you can't take your first communion. It sucked, yeah, it sucked. We weren't a part of it. So I think that was actually the beginning of the church hurt for me actually.

Speaker 2 23:49

That's real bud, somebody that's supposed to be keeping you safe doesn't. Getting hit getting put in the corner for reasons I still don't understand.

Speaker 4 24:04

So, when that happened to you, did you go home and tell your parents oh yeah, I think we did and I I know I did. But at the same time, during this time, during the 60s and stuff like that, when you get hit by a teacher- yeah um, that's just normal oh yeah but that's the only place I got hit by a teacher was that they used to have paddles and stuff.

Speaker 1 24:21

they had these big sticks and paddles for sure, and I got them both. I caught the tail end of that Late 70s. I caught the tail end of the paddle part.

Speaker 3 24:31

Yep.

Speaker 1 24:31

Yeah, it was about early 80s when they started paddling people.

Speaker 2 24:33

Yeah, I didn't get that. No, wow, dude, that's good. Yeah, that's crazy.

Speaker 4 24:45

Yeah, so we got the mom thing when she'd get mad and the belt would come off. It just reminded me of something. So my stepdad Don, he's just a sweetheart and he would have to go into the room and then me and Scott would get in trouble.

Speaker 2 24:56

Is that your younger brother? Yeah, Scott's my younger brother.

Speaker 4 24:59

So we'd have to get in trouble. So Don would come in with the belt. He'd actually pull it off, so mom would hear it yeah and then he'd be like all right, you guys pretend like I'm hitting you and I want you to just kind of you know yeah, fake this thing because he couldn't hit us with a belt no, wow, so he'd hit like the bed yeah or my brother would put like a book in his yeah, yeah yeah, in his pants.

Speaker 1 25:25

You know he'd hit that wow wow so we learned to you know manipulate lie a little bit right out of the gate, you know for the good of dawn.

Speaker 2 25:36

Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow, that's love man it is love. Wow, it really really is done because that guy came into a whole lot.

Speaker 4 25:45

He did and we didn't recognize that as kids. All right, we just didn't.

Speaker 2 25:50

Now you can look back and like man. That dude was insane, yep. He walked into a house full of chaos and dysfunction.

Speaker 4 25:57

Man and loved us.

Speaker 2 25:58

Yep, that's beautiful.

Speaker 4 25:59

And it's weird because you got, and you'll understand this is. You got this dad that you adore but you only see every now and again, and then you got this man that lives with you day in and day out and that provides for you.

Speaker 3 26:10

Yeah.

Speaker 4 26:11

And my dad was still the superhero to me.

Speaker 3 26:14

Yeah.

Speaker 4 26:14

Right, yeah, hard, hard.

Speaker 1 26:17

Yeah.

Speaker 4 26:17

And I'd love, if Don was still alive, to be able to ask him how he thought about all that. But he knew, yeah, be able to ask him how he thought about all that. But but he knew. He knew like my, my dad was my favorite you know, so in 1972, when we learned we were moving to oregon.

Speaker 2 26:30

That's where my dad lived too oh, yeah, so he lived there with my aunt and uncle like while you were growing up living next to uncle kenny, he was up in oregon he just yeah, he happened to move there like a year or two before we did okay and came up with this.

Speaker 4 26:46

Well, actually, let's back up a little. The first thing that happened this is my mom sent me and my brother up to my dad to visit. Yeah, so we flew in on a yellow airplane to Oregon, Eugene, Oregon.

Speaker 2 27:00

A summer trip.

Speaker 4 27:01

Go see dad during the summer, yep During the summer Went up there, Met his future wife, Sharon, and my dad had this brand new 70, I think it was. I want to say it's a 70 Javelin. So this really cool muscle car AMC.

Speaker 2 27:19

Yeah, and he dragged me. I'm like I thought you were talking about a knife. It's a car, I'm not a car guy, guys, and he raced it. Okay, cool, it's all souped up. Oh sick.

Speaker 4 27:30

And we'd watch him drag race and he'd win trophies. Wow, Now all of a sudden, my dad's like this real superhero.

Speaker 2 27:36

Superhero dude. Now he's good, oh yeah, and he works on cars. That's what he does. He builds hot rods and stuff, and I see why you like this guy, it sounds like. This is the same how you probably looked at your dad.

Speaker 1 27:48

Well, that's why we connected so much as our love for cars and stuff like that that's why every time I see him I'm like, oh my brother, cars are yeah yeah, cars are my fave.

Speaker 4 27:57

um, but anyhow, um see, we went up there, visited him. My mom and my grandma, irene, drove up there to get us at the end of the summer and I remember them in a moment saying that you boys can stay here and live with your dad, or you can come home with me.

Speaker 2 28:20

And it gave you the choice.

Speaker 4 28:21

Yeah, here we are, like I don't know 10. I'm 10, 11, and my brother's two years younger than me and we're sitting there as little kids looking at each other, me and my brother crying because I wanted to stay with my dad. And then I see my brother inside the car crying and I was like nope.

Speaker 1 28:41

I can't do it.

Speaker 4 28:43

And I got back in that car.

Speaker 2 28:44

Wow, mark, when you wanted do it and I got back in that car. Wow, mark, when you wanted to stay.

Speaker 4 28:48

It makes me want to cry right now, because that's another moment I forget about. But as young kids, you shouldn't be making that decision like that.

Speaker 2 28:57

That's hard to put on a kid man.

Speaker 4 28:59

So we drove all the way back to California in that little car and I was just what a horrible ride. Yeah, we drove all the way back to California in that little car and I was just what a horrible ride. Yeah, but I made the right decision. So I'm glad I was, I'm glad I stuck with my family, amen, and it was good. I don't think my dad was ready to have us anyhow, personally looking back, but I love my dad, yeah personally, looking back um, but I love my dad.

Speaker 2 29:29

Yeah, with not having the real father and don kind of being busy, I get, I can kind of see you taking a protective role over brothers and sisters absolutely. Me and tammy were the protect.

Speaker 4 29:38

I could see that and we would find out later that me and tammy were dads, my dad's only kids my brother and two sisters all had separate dads. We didn't learn that until we were like 17, so we're getting ahead of ourselves. But yeah, dysfunction Wow.

Speaker 3 29:55

Okay.

Speaker 4 29:56

So, and to add to it, my youngest sister is my Uncle Bobby's, which we love. My Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen it's his daughter. So my Uncle Bobby, which is our favorite aunt and uncle, he got my mom pregnant. Oh wow. Apparently he had the last kid.

Speaker 3 30:11

Yeah.

Speaker 4 30:12

Does that get weirder?

Speaker 1 30:14

Yeah, so your dad was never with you guys. No, you don't ever remember your dad being with you at all Living with you in the home.

Speaker 4 30:19

I don't remember it. Oh, okay, nope, okay, nope, nope, not at all. So we finally moved to Oregon and you know, and one of the things was, not only is dad there, but it's going to be safer there.

Speaker 3 30:31

Yeah.

Speaker 1 30:34

Well, that's not true.

Speaker 4 30:35

We just had a whole new group of people to fight with.

Speaker 1 30:38

Yeah.

Speaker 4 30:38

Yeah, and now we're these. I'm this long-haired, you know beach guy from LA showing up to Hicksville.

Speaker 1 30:46

Backwoods folks, yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 4 30:49

My first day of seventh grade I got to meet the Corbett brothers. Don and Ron Corbett and had a fight first day of school. Threw them both out of the window. You know those windows that open this way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they both were outside and then I heard this bad story afterwards. They're like oh no, their older brother is rusty corbin he's in ninth grade and I'm like fearing for my life. So go back to school on day two in fear of whoever. Rusty Corbett is.

Speaker 4 31:26

And I would meet him that day. I was walking down the hall looking for my class, didn't know where I was going, and here comes this guy walking towards me with boots, on Levi's, a white T-shirt and a Levi jacket, and he had the Levi jacket all rolled up but he looked like a monster coming towards me.

Speaker 1 31:47

I had no clue who he was and I'm walking.

Speaker 4 31:50

he looks at me and he goes hey man, are you that new kid from California? I was like, uh, yeah, my name's Mark or whatever, and he goes yeah, you kicked the shit out of both my brothers. He goes right on, dude gives me a high five, shakes my hand, gives me a little hug, and I was like whoa and he talked about him being little, you know and then he walks on and I was like I just met the marlboro man and I'm his friend and I were buddies and that buddy relationship would work out really good for me throughout that time in school.

Speaker 4 32:29

Because now they all knew that Rusty Corbett and me, we were good. Nice so now everybody else is like oh no.

Speaker 1 32:36

We got two of them. It was looked at completely differently.

Speaker 4 32:40

So that was a moment, amen. So yeah, we go up there new people to fight with, just growing up as kids.

Speaker 3 32:46

Yeah.

Speaker 4 32:48

And it turned out to really be awesome.

Speaker 1 32:50

Here we are. Were you good in school.

Speaker 4 32:52

Did you get good grades? No, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 32:55

No.

Speaker 4 32:56

I probably would have been diagnosed with ADHD or something. I don't even know the letters, but I couldn't read. Yeah, right, something. I don't even know the letters, but I couldn't read or write. I couldn't focus during reading. I remember they held me back for reading.

Speaker 1 33:10

We talked about it before we started Squirrel.

Speaker 2 33:13

Oh yeah, yes, we did. I'm still down, that's why I'm here.

Speaker 3 33:16

Keep people on track.

Speaker 4 33:17

Thank you, rowdy, I love you guys. Dude, the fact that Rowdy's keeping us on track is really crazy right now. That the fact that Rowdy's keeping us on track is really crazy right now.

Speaker 2 33:28

That is saying something to itself. There is a God. Don't worry, rowdy's got us. I love you, bro Jesus, this is great dude, you know there's a God there bud.

Speaker 4 33:43

So yeah, school wasn't my thing.

Speaker 1 33:45

You got to keep the two old dudes in check.

Speaker 2 33:46

I know, right, we got to keep it shorter than three guys. Do you guys need your medication? Don't let your timer go off. Oh my God.

Speaker 4 33:59

Yeah, I'm medication time right now. It's going to have to wait.

Speaker 2 34:04

Oh, I love you guys, dude. So you're in Oregon, man, we get to.

Speaker 4 34:08

Oregon go through that.

Speaker 1 34:10

Oh Jesus.

Speaker 4 34:11

Growing up, get my first girlfriend, and here's where my second sexual abuse situation happened. I was the seventh grader and ninth grade girl, which was the cutest girl in the school. She now decides that she wants to be boyfriend with me.

Speaker 2 34:30

Okay.

Speaker 4 34:31

So now I'm really looked at weird.

Speaker 2 34:33

Oh yeah.

Speaker 4 34:34

Not only is Rusty my, but I've got the hot girl in school. I don't know what it's like to be a boyfriend to anybody. I didn't know how to do anything.

Speaker 3 34:43

I didn't even know.

Speaker 4 34:44

Know, do you hold hands or what? Yeah so my sister taught me everything, which is probably negative the older sister. Yes, tammy yeah, thank god for her. And you know at the same time, you can look back now you're like you're setting me up when you're walking to class, just hold her hand and I'm like okay, and then she's like what about kissing? And she's like well, you just here, let me show you.

Speaker 3 35:09

And she starts putting her mouth around with her tongue hanging out and I was like well, what do you do with your tongue?

Speaker 4 35:14

I don't you stick it in her mouth.

Speaker 3 35:19

And I was like oh Lord, no way I ain't doing that, you know, but anyways um so dating this girl growing up seventh grade.

Speaker 2 35:27

Seventh grade yeah, new, new city, new city riding bicycles everywhere. Bikes were my first wheels um so you were in cali in the hood because cali's pretty much city life you go up to oregon. What part of oregon?

Speaker 4 35:42

we're in the desert or not the desert?

Speaker 2 35:43

we're in the forest so that's what I was wondering we're in around eugene oregon oh, yeah and uh.

Speaker 4 35:49

Everything in oregon's forest it is yeah it is and uh, yeah it's, it's completely night, completely different yeah, and you're just like whoa. But what, what?

Speaker 1 36:00

do we do? How do this?

Speaker 4 36:01

Yeah, riding a school bus to school, which is something I never got to do, yeah, it was just different. That's all Nightly different really, if you say that Cool experience, though, looking back on it, Wonderful. Yeah, yep, I loved it had the girlfriend we moved. Now the dad of the girlfriend is picking me up to stay the weekends with them at their house so I can be around their daughter and around them. My family knew them.

Speaker 2 36:31

This is the older girl. Yeah, this is the older girl, the ninth grader.

Speaker 4 36:36

And the parents were, and I didn't know this at the time because I thought it was normal, but like they were showing us everything to do with each other. So like they got playboy magazines out and they were showing us this is what you do with my daughter. And then they'd sent the 10 up in the backyard whoa to have a place to do it.

Speaker 2 36:55

Yes, to stay out there, god yeah, it was weird.

Speaker 4 36:59

Wow, um, I mean, I look back at my kids and think seventh grade, no way in hell.

Speaker 2 37:07

People are going down.

Speaker 4 37:09

But I got to see a lot of Terrible things in that household, wow, Like with their Relationship and marriage, just with the husband. I can't remember her name, but the dad's name was Dick. I know, literally and figuratively but, like he would be on in the in the front room with his two other kids and he had three kids and me and he'd be playing with himself oh my god looking at a magazine

Speaker 4 37:42

then he would tell me it's because his wife just had an operation and you know she can't do it. You know this and I'm like I didn't even know he's talking about. I was like what do what?

Speaker 2 37:52

yeah, he's. What do you mean pervert, bro?

Speaker 4 37:53

it was weird yeah and then, yeah, and it got weirder. You know, I seen both of them naked and them doing showing us things and I was just uncomfortable. But at the same time now this is something I didn't tell my parents I didn't go home and tell them because immediately I'm like Adam and Eve right. They send and you're covering yourself and like, all right, I'm afraid guilt shame remorse.

Speaker 2 38:22

That's me. I got to hide this.

Speaker 4 38:24

I can't let anybody know something inside me said this isn't right and I can't tell no. Yeah they. I don't think they ever told me not to tell no one. Yeah, I just felt that way. Right, yeah, so sexual abuse. If you've experienced that man, there's help for you.

Speaker 1 38:39

Um, I'm getting it still to this day, and because it really affected my whole life you know, the, the church thing.

Speaker 4 38:47

I was sexually abused there.

Speaker 2 38:49

I don't remember all of it do you remember what grade it was?

Speaker 4 38:52

uh, I think I was eight years old, eight to nine, when that happened, yeah, so very, very soon after that, you guys gone and then, wow, and then I had experienced a sexual abuse situation. I didn't know it's sexual abuse at the time because I really don't remember a lot of it, but I had an aunt and uncle that had me in their bed. They were naked, I was naked and that's where I would sleep with them, in between them, and I remember them doing things with me in there dude and all of this is called sexual abuse.

Speaker 4 39:28

Yeah, and for the very first time I've started talking about it, probably about three years ago, wow so you're, you're when you say that I'm getting my healing. This is healing, so I'm I'm sober almost 20 years, but I don't start dealing with this till a few years ago, man, about the time. I met you guys Wow.

Speaker 2 39:49

Right around that time.

Speaker 1 39:50

As a matter of fact.

Speaker 4 39:52

I picked up my coin here to start that journey.

Speaker 3 39:55

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 39:55

I think so, Me and my wife. We started a journey with our marriage and with that Wow.

Speaker 2 40:00

Wow bro.

Speaker 4 40:01

That's right. Yeah, so that's weird. That just came out. I just now recognized that and I decided I was going to start sharing that openly, out loud from the stage, because I'm on the stage, amen, so I don't want to keep that a secret. Help people man I want to help people, yeah.

Speaker 1 40:18

So what was it? What was it in recovery?

Speaker 2 40:20

God can't heal what we keep hidden.

Speaker 4 40:22

That's right, I know what I mean. To heal from it. You got to deal with it I just said it.

Speaker 2 40:26

last night you got to feel it, so God can heal it.

Addiction, Tragedy, and Rock Bottom

Speaker 4 40:30

That's right. Well, unfortunately, a long part of my sexual inventory fourth step had to do with all these women I had hurt right From the age like 15, well, on up to 45. Yeah, just doing things that I thought was cool and right and it wasn't. Yeah.

Speaker 3 40:53

That's all.

Speaker 4 40:54

Yeah, so, yeah. So now I'm in Oregon going through all this, getting older. Now I'm in high school and I'm a car guy. My very first car is a 1966 barracuda formula. My parents, my don and my mom gave that car to me really and um, and it had a bad clutch in it. So the very first thing at 15 years old is I'm fixing the clutch.

Speaker 2 41:19

Come on you said it was a 66 barracuda and you got it in 75. I got it in 75. Okay, 15 years old, look was a 66 Barracuda 66 Barracuda and you got it in 75?

Speaker 4 41:25

I got it in 75. Okay, 15 years old, look up a 66 Barracuda.

Speaker 1 41:28

It's a funky looking car.

Speaker 4 41:29

It's a funky looking car. This one was really.

Speaker 1 41:32

It's got this long back window dude.

Speaker 4 41:33

Yep.

Speaker 1 41:34

It just, it's gnarly.

Speaker 4 41:35

Glass, lots of glass window in the back, yeah. The, that's the car, yeah, so that's the car I have and it's got a custom paint job on it.

Speaker 2 41:49

You wish you still had that today.

Speaker 4 41:50

Oh, buddy that's gotta be worth money. No that, that's not even the one that was worth all the money and I wrecked all my cars. I've had cars that would sell for two, three hundred thousand dollars today, um, but I, I destroyed them yeah but I'm a car guy, I love hot rods. I got that from my dad. I mean I in school. You ask if I'm good at you know school.

Speaker 4 42:12

I'm not good at school, but when they had mechanics classes, woodshop oh and then somehow I figured out how to be in those classes most of the day, which is why I didn't graduate high school, but I did learn a lot about cars where's mark? He's in the shop again well, after I rolled my 66 cuda in the water in oregon because it flooded. I ended up rolling it um and upside down in a car at nighttime water thought I was gonna drown yeah I finally got undone first time, the only time I ever used my seat belt in that car.

Speaker 4 42:45

At nighttime water thought I was gonna drown. Yeah, I finally got undone first time, the only time I ever used my seat belt in that car and you rolled it and you're in the water and I, oh my god, used it that night, yeah I just detailed the car and I thought, oh, look at this, this seat belt.

Speaker 4 42:57

And I cleaned them all up and I went back out to my girlfriend's house, put the seat belt on and I'm going out there and come around the corner and it's nothing but water I hit that it was, I wasn't even going fast 55, 60 yeah, but it was all water and it hit the water spun, the car sideways flipped in the air upside down in the ditch in the water oh and I just I had gravel in my eyes.

Speaker 4 43:20

I get out, go get, I go through the front windshield, which is no longer there, and I'm standing on top of my car. The lights are still on and I'm standing there just bawling.

Speaker 3 43:32

Like my car.

Speaker 2 43:33

Do you think if you wouldn't have been on the seatbelt, you could have been thrown from the car? Who knows? Wow, who knows what would have happened? Wow, I don't know. Wow.

Speaker 4 43:42

But, anyways made it. But I had a lot of car, cool cars. My next car was a 69 dodge dart. I had tunnel ram sticking out, there was no hood. These carburetors, and and and pulling into high school with these kind of cars you're a chip magnet.

Speaker 2 43:57

I had slicks, I had wrinkle wall slicks autumn um. I had many cars what'd you do for work, work. What were you doing as a teenager?

Speaker 4 44:05

I made more money at 16 years old, and probably at times, than my dad, my stepdad did working meat cutting. I would buy cars, take them apart and sell parts. Really I would have a ton of money. Really yeah lots of money, all the time Wow. Yep always had cash. As a matter of fact, I helped pay bills, yeah.

Speaker 2 44:27

As a kid.

Speaker 4 44:27

As a kid at 16 years old.

Speaker 2 44:29

Dude.

Speaker 4 44:29

Yep, don would be like hey man, because he would save my money. Yeah, hey man, you know we could really use some help. Oh, no problem, you know.

Speaker 1 44:39

Yeah, but he kept my money.

Speaker 4 44:41

I just gave it to him, and then sometimes the money would just disappear. I think my sister knew where it was.

Speaker 1 44:48

I'm almost positive my sister knew where it was Tammy, yeah, as a kid. What was your favorite car? As a kid Not as an adult as a kid, what was your favorite car?

Speaker 4 44:58

Probably anything Mopar related, Just Chrysler Dodge. I had a 72 Chevelle.

Speaker 1 45:08

Oh, related, which is chrysler dodge. I had a 72 chevelle. Oh, I had a 70. Oh, my dad sold it, pissed me off. Oh, I had a 69. Uh, volkswagen bug hammered to the ground, spent months working on this thing, got the motor swapped out doing body work, came to the shop one day to see it and went there to call my dad like where's my bug? Oh, somebody offered me twice but I paid for it so I sold it. That's me.

Speaker 4 45:24

I was like this is me.

Speaker 2 45:27

Oh dude that's my car, dad. Yeah, I put my, my hard-earned every passion into that car dude.

Speaker 1 45:35

That was like the dream car for me, was a 69 bug and I had it lowered, did a motor swap on it, got it running, was doing body work. Just I put my love into that car dude and he just turned around, sold it for a profit yeah I'm like you, suck you'll have another one one day.

Speaker 4 45:51

Bud that you'll get a build yeah, I've had so many cool cars gtos I've had 64 gto, 67, uh gtx 440 four speed car dana 60 rear end.

Speaker 3 46:04

That was the car that was worth the most probably that if I still had it, it would be worth a lot of money and it was a special car with all these different things in it and it wasn't hatched up nobody destroyed it yeah, I outrun a cop one night Jesus and blew the motor up.

Speaker 4 46:25

Oh no, and literally blew rods out the side of the motor. The only reason the cop caught us is he just followed the smoke.

Speaker 1 46:32

Yeah.

Speaker 4 46:32

We were so far ahead of him, my buddies. I got all these guys in the car and they're holding on and we're doing well. The speedometer said 160. It went past that.

Speaker 3 46:41

Yeah.

Speaker 4 46:42

And we just kept going.

Speaker 1 46:47

Yeah 60.

Speaker 4 46:47

It went past that, yeah, and we were just kept going, yeah and uh, yeah, I just didn't let off. And then, when the motor blew, I downshifted into third and thought, oh, this will help which I don't even know why I did that. I think when you're out running a cop, you just don't think straight yeah um, but yeah, then it scattered it really good. It was, it was, it was, it was a mess yeah, yeah I was not good. There was a lot of alcohol involved in that.

Speaker 4 47:05

It was one of my first alcohol stories driving.

Speaker 2 47:08

How old?

Speaker 4 47:08

were you Probably 17. When?

Speaker 1 47:11

did you start drinking?

Speaker 4 47:13

14. Really.

Speaker 2 47:14

Yeah, something you did with family, with your Uncle Kenny or something.

Speaker 4 47:17

No, yeah, you know, mom, everybody drinks. As a matter of fact, when I was 15 years old, I was driving my 66 Cuda to the store to pick up a six-pack of beer for my mom, because they could call the store and have me bring it back with some cigarettes.

Speaker 4 47:34

And I'm driving back thinking I'm the coolest guy in the world. I'm looking at this six-pack of. Olympia beer, thinking how cool am I right now. And then I get home and my mom and mom says well, you can have one. I was like, oh, right on, I felt like such a big shot, yeah um, but the first time I got drunk, um, that's when I was 14, so in eugene, and went to a party.

Speaker 4 48:01

They were making these drinks called boiler makers oh yeah and that's beer, and then you drop a shot and then slam it so I did like three of those, and then I all I remember was puking all over I remember laying in the street. I remember not remembering most of the night and the next day I woke up thinking, man, I can't wait to do that oh my god, that's what we do though, except I'm not gonna put that whiskey in there is what I so, right out of the gate, I'm controlling my alcohol yeah, think about it I didn't think about that till recently.

Speaker 3 48:36

Like right out of the gate, I was controlling my alcohol.

Speaker 4 48:39

Oh, like oh no, I don't want to go over that line, so I got to do this much and I'll be okay.

Speaker 1 48:45

Yeah.

Speaker 4 48:45

And so yeah.

Speaker 1 48:48

I remember Jack Daniels.

Speaker 3 48:50

Jack.

Speaker 1 48:50

Daniels trashed me. I remember sitting on the passenger seat of my car. This guy comes over and says hey man, how you doing Dude, just decks me dude.

Speaker 3 49:00

You know what I?

Speaker 1 49:00

mean.

Speaker 2 49:01

Just threw up on him.

Speaker 1 49:02

Yep, Throws me in the backseat of my own car. I don't remember how we got home, I just remember being in the backseat with my feet on the roof. Get home, they take me to my friend's bedroom and proceed to beat the crap out of me, my friend and this other guy. I don't know why they're beating the crap out of me, but they are Woke up the next day. My car's gone. I knew okay, don't drink Jack. Yep, you can drink beer but don't drink Jack.

Speaker 1 49:24

So I get that the whole okay don't do that that was not good for you, but we can keep doing this, oh yeah.

Speaker 2 49:31

That's why I use dope. Once I start to get a little, give me some drugs, get me straight.

Speaker 4 49:39

That's in another four years for me, and then I'm introduced to cocaine.

Speaker 2 49:46

Oh yeah, that monster that never satisfies, jeez.

Speaker 4 49:50

Very triggering moments for anybody watching right now. But just so you know. Yeah, it was all bad.

Speaker 2 49:55

Yeah.

Speaker 4 49:56

I thought it was good.

Speaker 2 49:57

Yeah, don't we? There's a way that seems right to a man, but it leads to death. What's the biggest?

Speaker 1 50:02

lie, we tell ourselves.

Speaker 2 50:04

It's all good. It's all good, it's all good oh, I'm a good liar. I lied all the time, oh yeah about everything once you start learning to lie hello it just all lies that's why I was teaching on last night at cr bro is the moral lesson and just how important honesty being honest with yourself, being honest with God and then someone you trust so important, and I got to start with me.

Speaker 4 50:31

Yeah man. Because, boy, once I start doing the little lies, all of a sudden they're bigger lies. I know because I spent 20-something years relapsing. Yeah, I'm a liar cheating, a thief man.

Speaker 2 50:43

It's real, man. It's real, bro. It's real.

Speaker 4 50:46

But growing up in high school, having cars, that's my gig and football, I started playing football. I was great in football.

Speaker 2 50:55

Oh, wow.

Speaker 4 50:55

I got an award the first year.

Speaker 2 50:57

What position?

Speaker 4 50:58

I was defensive end.

Speaker 2 50:59

Yeah.

Speaker 4 51:00

Number 44.

Speaker 2 51:01

Yeah, I had my own cheerleading section.

Speaker 4 51:04

My girlfriend and three of her friends.

Speaker 2 51:06

Were you a bigger kid.

Speaker 4 51:07

No, I was about 165 pounds, you know six foot.

Speaker 2 51:12

Oh, so you okay. Yeah, you were a bigger kid in high school, yeah.

Speaker 4 51:16

I had a little bit of a growing spurt, very strong, never worked out.

Speaker 1 51:24

Don't like weights Working on cars make you strong buddy.

Speaker 4 51:26

They had this thing called the 200-pound club. You know where you can bench press 200 pounds. And they'd all be earning these shirts and I'd go in there and just lift it up like it was not there. And they were like oh, you know, and I never got one of the shirts.

Speaker 2 51:40

That's not my gig. We're going to make you one. I don't like that.

Speaker 1 51:45

I, that's not my gig we're gonna make you one.

Speaker 4 51:47

I don't like that. I wasn't. I wasn't that guy at all, all I cared about was cars and girls yeah, okay, no. And then football was for about a year I had I got an award for the hardest hitting person on the team wow and I wasn't even at the award ceremony to get it because I was out on a date, so girls were more important I didn't play football again. Okay, um, I just did it because me and another guy named vance decided we're gonna play football yeah and uh, and we did and we both played really good and they

Speaker 2 52:13

wanted us to come back yeah, you could have went somewhere with that, but I got cars to deal with and I got a lot of girlfriends and some beer to drink I know it's not healthy.

Speaker 4 52:25

Yeah, not healthy. Anyways, it was fun though I had a good time, but the car thing was my big thing. I love cars.

Speaker 2 52:32

Always did yeah where are you selling the?

Speaker 4 52:33

parts? Where would you get the cars? We had this thing called the money saver. I could call the catalog. It's a newspaper that comes out every week.

Speaker 2 52:42

Yeah, I like the penny saver for here. Well, it was the car one. Auto trader, auto trader, auto trader.

Speaker 4 52:49

So they had this thing called the money saver and I put ads out every week with those and then pretty soon I got people trading me guns. So now I'm selling and buying and selling guns, oh jeez, and car parts, I'm into guns like early. Yeah guns and car parts. I'm into guns like early yeah, and I had all the coolest guns. As a matter of fact, in Junction City, oregon, which is just out of Eugene, all of the police department knew who I was. Really Because of the cars and the parties.

Speaker 1 53:15

Yeah.

Speaker 4 53:16

I would invite them to our parties. Hey, we're having a kegger tonight. I'd call the police station. We're having a kegger tonight. It's at, you know, this time when you get off, come on by and they would. They'd come by and have beers.

Speaker 2 53:27

No, kidding, no kidding, but anyways they got there. I would have smacked that phone out of your mouth. Say dude, you ain't calling the cops bro.

Speaker 1 53:35

Oh, my buddies, I'd tell them, you got them there.

Speaker 3 53:47

They're.

Speaker 1 53:47

It was awesome yeah wow, but they soon found out that I had guns and I had like ar-15s and stuff like that.

Speaker 4 53:50

This is in the late 70s, early 80s and they were buying guns from me left and right all the time come on yeah and that's how I did it. I was bartering. I never really had a real job wow bro well, I, I worked at a gas station when I was 16, but gas station stuff, um, but yeah, I made all my money right out of my garage wow yeah, which would turn out many years later. That's how I started. The business I have now is right out of my garage come on, yeah, yeah helping single moms and dads yeah, come on, buddy, back then I was.

Speaker 1 54:20

I saw your video the other day, so cool man.

Speaker 4 54:23

Oh yeah, I heard that they posted that it was so good About the shop and how it started and stuff, man, so good, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, god can use a messed up person, man, amen.

Speaker 3 54:34

All you got to do is say yes. When you stop and say yes, things change.

Speaker 2 54:38

Things change. So now then you know 18 or so. Everybody knows you, the cops know you everybody knows me.

Speaker 4 54:49

Did you drop? You dropped out of high school? Uh no, I went through to the end. I was like three or four credits short, so I ended up getting a ged okay um. My dad lived in the same town.

Speaker 1 54:59

My dad had a hot rod jeep that he raced, so this whole time, this whole time you're growing up, were you and your dad seeing each other? Absolutely we lived right next to each other.

Speaker 2 55:07

I'm in his garage most of the time working with him him teaching me things Everything that you wanted when you were a kid, that Don couldn't give you, that you were getting from Uncle Kenny. Now in this season, you're actually doing it with Dad, bro, oh.

Speaker 4 55:23

God, mark, it was awesome. This season you're actually doing it with dad, bro. Oh god, mark, time, wow, awesome. Yeah, he literally was almost across the street from us, so I'd walk over there all the time back and forth, back and forth I love that for you, buddy, but you had that season with dad.

Speaker 2 55:36

It was really.

Speaker 4 55:37

I love that for you wow so we had that time and learned a lot from him. It was just, it was awesome, um, and then you ever get a motorcycle oh, at 10 years old, in Compton California we had my first motorcycle. It was a Honda 50 mini trail okay and. I got it. That's also so. Guns, cars those are my top things right. They still are.

Speaker 1 56:08

Did your dad ever ride together?

Speaker 4 56:10

Nope.

Speaker 1 56:10

Oh dang.

Speaker 4 56:11

No, no, no, I didn't. When we moved up to Oregon, we had the Honda 50 Mini Trail and then, finally, it ended up dying and we made a go-kart out of it.

Speaker 3 56:20

My dad helped build it. It was awesome.

Speaker 4 56:24

It never ran, but it was badass, it looked it was badass looking.

Speaker 1 56:29

I got one of those in my backyard right now but we didn't build it.

Speaker 2 56:33

We're not working on it, we're getting rid of it.

Speaker 4 56:35

I just need help loading it so it's a flower bed I ended up selling this and made money 150 bucks on it, so that was and 70.

Speaker 2 56:43

That's good money bro.

Speaker 4 56:45

Oh buddy, yeah we're giving it away to a dad and a son so they can build it together, yeah, build it together, perfect yeah that's life-changing it is so, yeah, lots of things with my dad, watching him race, going to the dunes, grew up most of the time in the dunes and I started buying real motorcycles paddle tires um every did dad have a sand rail or he had um uh three wheelers

Speaker 4 57:08

okay and then we, when the honda odysseys came out, the four wheelers, we had two brand new ones nice, my grandma passed away, irene the one I was talking about yeah, out of that money the parents bought a van and two honda, or two of those honda odysseys, yeah, so side by sides yeah, we were really, it was cool yeah yeah, so we were something. Wait, so we were. It was cool. Yeah, so we were something. So we were.

Speaker 4 57:27

Dad would take us to the dunes with his Jeep and our little Odysseys and three wheelers, and then it was four wheelers and then motorcycles with paddle tires, Come on man. You know, my very first time in the dunes on a motorcycle was on a 79 tt 500, hardest motorcycle to start, heavier than hell. I got a like 12 paddle, 14 paddle tire on it and I could go anywhere wow, anywhere that you aimed it yeah, and then then it was yz 490s and all these other, like all the bikes we ever had, were the fastest bikes you can get and we made sure they were.

Speaker 2 58:01

We spent all of our money doing that. Mike mark, it's like you're a miracle just being here, bud you should have been gone a long time ago. Yeah, and you are just.

Speaker 4 58:08

God has had his hand on you we would need hours to talk about all the times that I was extremely hurt. Yeah, my tongue has been cut off like almost just hanging out of my mouth, three times I got one of those from my car accident I've got over 300 stitches just from my chin up this is by the time I'm 20 years old dang I remember the doctor telling me that it's like hey, man, slow down.

Speaker 4 58:33

This is your file wow this is where we're at right now yeah but I was always in there with something I wish I knew about super glue at the time because I've been using super glue for many years now.

Speaker 2 58:44

So we are almost to you being an adult, yep. And at this point, bro. I haven't heard nothing about church or God, oh, Except for Catholic school, but there wasn't, so that was a place where you got hurt.

Speaker 4 58:56

Yeah, and my next experience with God was at 14 years old. You know, right around the same time I got drunk the first time, and that was with Jehovah's Witnesses. So all of a sudden we're Jehovah's Witnesses, because my aunt and my Uncle, daryl, are Jehovah's Witnesses and my mom sees that her life is better, so now she's.

Speaker 2 59:18

Your aunt, your mom, sees that your aunt's life is better, yep, and she's like let's give it a try.

Speaker 4 59:24

Uncle Daryl and Aunt Celia. Okay, and so we did that and I remember the two people that would come to our house for Bible studies Wayne and Dee I still remember their name and we would do these Thursday night Bible studies and I just remember one night listening to them talk about the Bible and I remember sitting the Bible down on my chair and I walked out and I said I'm not doing this anymore and I walked out of the room and.

Speaker 4 59:50

I thought I'm going to get my butt kicked. That was the last day we were Jehovah's Witnesses, really, yep, yeah, we went a year year and a half. No Christmases, no birthdays. Going to these Jehovah's Witnesses events, oh yeah, and dressed up nice, hotter than hell, miserable didn't hear one word anybody ever said we were just miserable and my brothers and sisters were the same way religion, yeah, religion, it was religion, religion.

Speaker 4 1:00:19

There ain't no life in religion so that was my last experience with god and from that moment on I would say I didn't believe in god I would tell people that all the time, whether I did or didn't, is probably up in the air yeah, because every time I got pulled over by a cop, I was like yeah, you're bad, god, get me out of this.

Speaker 3 1:00:39

God help yeah, everybody does that, bro you get me out of this one.

Speaker 2 1:00:42

I'll never do it again, lord. Yeah, it's, it sucked but, anyhow.

Speaker 4 1:00:47

So now you know I'm, I'm. You know the gal I dated when I was 16, janet.

Speaker 2 1:00:53

She became my wife this isn't the one, that was the ninth grade. No, no, no, no, that disappeared.

Speaker 4 1:00:59

You went through a few girls to get that disappeared, okay but janet, she had a 70 chevelle, which is what I liked oh, so her car got you. Yes, okay, that was cool, all right and she worked and she made good money and she actually lived out in the country where we lived. She was like two miles down the road older than you no same, a little bit younger okay um. So I had my 66 cuda, she had her 70 Chevelle and we were the shit.

Speaker 3 1:01:27

Yeah.

Speaker 4 1:01:28

And so, and then I cheated on her quite a bit, and then back and forth, back and forth. Finally, you know, now we're 18, 19 years old and we decide we're going to be together, we move out.

Speaker 2 1:01:44

Did she know about your unfaithfulness? Probably Do you think that maybe the marriage was something to get you guys to commit to each other?

Speaker 4 1:01:54

The marriage happened because we found out she was pregnant.

Speaker 2 1:01:57

Oh.

Speaker 4 1:01:58

And we couldn't get an abortion that was not on the table.

Speaker 1 1:02:02

So thank God for that.

Speaker 4 1:02:03

In other words, my son Aaron would not be born.

Speaker 1 1:02:07

Amen.

Speaker 4 1:02:08

Yeah, so Shopped our wedding. We're now together, yeah, living in this house.

Speaker 2 1:02:16

Out in the country.

Speaker 4 1:02:17

Yeah, well, actually we moved back into Junction City, so we're in the country Now we're back in Junction City in this little house we paid 300 a month for. Couldn't figure out how I was even going to pay for it yeah well, we got somebody to rent it to me and then I'm working out of the garage.

Speaker 1 1:02:32

You know, making money um with cars working for a wrecking yard every now and again to um making money wherever I could yeah selling guns, selling car parts, and uh, then we end up getting once we had the kid.

Speaker 4 1:02:46

A month later I come home. I'll never forget it. I thought someone died, so we got a brand new baby and all of a sudden we find out that she's pregnant again. So that's why my two older kids are 11 months apart, just like me and my sister, yeah and uh, and I came home to her bawling. First thing I thought was she wrecked one of my cars oh my god, he's not worried about the three or four cars those were your babies.

Speaker 4 1:03:16

Well, I came home once and she said I'm sorry because I was driving the car and I didn't know that the hood I had a fiberglass hood on one of my cars and it didn't have the pins in it. So she drove it to the store and the hood fell off. Smashed the windows and she said that the police helped her get it back home and brought the hood home and set it back on there, but it was all scratched up. Oh my gosh, thank God that's actually all that happened.

Speaker 1 1:03:38

But I was thinking.

Speaker 4 1:03:39

That was the moment yeah but it turned out she's like we're pregnant again oh, wow what do I do? Oh wow, I was like she was crying and I was like that's great, that way they we have two kids that grow up together yeah, you know, and this will be awesome. Me and my sister are 11 months apart. That's how this is going to work out, and I was the happy guy I didn't know how we were going to do it, because we still couldn't. We were trying to figure out how to be parents.

Speaker 2 1:04:03

So it was her having to carry for the first kid and then go through the delivery, the pregnancy, and now here it is, bam again. She was pissed, oh wow.

Speaker 4 1:04:14

Because she liked laying in the sun, being in her bikini and doing all these things, you know.

Speaker 2 1:04:20

And now she's going to be pregnant again, for another, you know nine months yeah. It was hell for her's real man, all right so we have this second baby, uh tara, and is that the one that I saw with you?

Speaker 4 1:04:35

no, okay, no, that's casey, that's my daughter's, or my. My daughter with my wife okay so um, she's not my real daughter, although she has my last name. She changed. She changed my last name casey, din.

Speaker 2 1:04:53

Wow, she's amazing that's special, bro.

Speaker 3 1:04:54

She's. She's a badass. We'll talk about her. She's the one that used to work at your shop. Yeah, how nice.

Speaker 4 1:04:56

Yep, she ran the shop for a while, yeah, yeah, she can kind of do whatever she decides she wants to do. She'll do it you go okay, and if she says she wants to, do something, I'll do it. Go Casey, and if she says she wants to do something, I'm like, do it. She was going to horseshoe, this is way.

Speaker 3 1:05:11

Like take the shoes off horses, we've seen a squirrel.

Speaker 2 1:05:13

We're going there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 1:05:15

Yeah, she became a horseshoer.

Speaker 1 1:05:17

Wow.

Speaker 4 1:05:18

Wow, oh yeah, she's something.

Speaker 2 1:05:20

She'd have to clean the hooves yeah bro that ain't an easy job man I've seen videos on that 120 pounds, you know.

The Gun, the Angel, and Finding God

Speaker 4 1:05:28

Big horse Doesn't look like a horse, so cool though I love watching the videos when they do that. So back to where we were. We have the second baby Now. Then we're like, okay, how do we do this? My mom and my stepdaddad, don, live about three or four blocks away. My dad lives about the same distance and we're trying to figure out how to pay for these kids buying diapers, all of it. And so we decide we're going to call my sister Tammy, my older sister and she's a wild child.

Speaker 4 1:06:03

She goes wherever the wind takes her. Yeah, and um said hey, we could use your help. Can you come live with us for a little bit? Oh so tammy, she didn't even have a driver's license. She never had a. I don't know that she ever got a driver's license really, ever really but yeah, she rolls in and she's living with us and her and I are having all kinds of.

Speaker 2 1:06:24

We're still fighting and loving each other. Yeah, she's how you guys love each other. She stole at this time. She stole one of my cars and was gone for like a week or two, my god and and I was like and there's not no cell phones to call yeah nobody, nobody yeah, so you're worried, don't know where you're going.

Speaker 4 1:06:42

I didn't even worry, it was just waiting.

Speaker 4 1:06:45

Oh man, I remember Janet's like man, she's going to be in shit when she gets back. So she does show up and her gift to me was a shirt and a bong. Okay, here, I got these for you and I grab her, throw her on the front room floor, beating the crap out of her. And we had these chairs called butterfly chairs. They were just this steel with this cloth and I put it on top of her and I just sat on top of her for like the longest time and I'm like I ain't letting you up. You are going to remember not to steal any of my cars again and finally she got up.

Speaker 4 1:07:21

I got up and we made up and it was fun. Finally she got up. You know, I got up and we made up and it was fun. And then it was, I don't know soon after is when I experienced a really terrible situation with alcohol. We drove all the time drinking that was our thing. Hell. I had kegs in the back of one of our cars all the time.

Speaker 2 1:07:45

But we decided to go out to a bar in Harrisburg which is like five miles away.

Speaker 4 1:07:48

And how old are you at this time? I'm 23. Okay, 23 now, and um, and like any other night, because it's no different than any other time, we go out, we're going out and and my buddy well, me and Janet, my wife, we get in her red Chevelle, which I've now got completely hopped up crazy. And then they get my buddy Chris, a good friend of mine I built his 68 Camaro, I think, and he took Tammy. So him and Tammy kind of liked each other, and then Tammy also had boyfriends over here too.

Speaker 3 1:08:25

But anyways, she was a wild child.

Speaker 4 1:08:28

So her and Chris, we go to the bar, have our chicken, drink, beer, play in pool, and we close the bar down and we're driving home and just like any other night, it's no, no different. And he decides he's going to me. You know, coming over the harrisburg bridge, he is zooming on by me and I'm like no way he ain't passing me. Yeah, not in my car you know, and and I built that one too, so it was a you know, a little bit of a race.

Speaker 4 1:08:57

We're on a back road, you know bumps and a little bit of corners, but it was straight away um where we were at. We're probably up 120, 130 miles an hour and he's right next to me like just hanging.

Speaker 4 1:09:09

We couldn't go any further yeah and, uh, I remember looking over and so does, so does janet. She still remembers it to this day too. But she, uh, she. We see tammy and she's looking at us and she's waving almost like she's waving goodbye, and she had a not a happy look on's waving almost like she's waving goodbye, and she had not a happy look on her face because she probably wasn't happy in this moment that we were going this fast down the back road at 1 in the morning and that was the last I remembered, because I remember looking up and I seen a headlight and I looked over and seen the light.

Speaker 4 1:09:43

And I looked over and seen the light and in this moment I just remember not being able to know should I let off the gas and hit the brakes or should I keep it. What's happening?

Speaker 1 1:09:51

What should I?

Speaker 4 1:09:51

do. And then all of a sudden, boom no more noise. No noise from their car. They were gone and we were like in shock. Hit the brakes, turn the car around real quick because they're nowhere to be seen. Go hauling back the same way we came and all of a sudden I'm on this wreckage that looks like. Well, it reminds me of an airplane wreck, wow.

Speaker 2 1:10:16

Oh my.

Speaker 4 1:10:16

God dude and right into the middle of the debris Turns out. In that moment I ran over a guy that was in another car, but they hit this car head on it that fast, oh crap, and all I seen was pieces of cars and you know, obviously frantic and worried in shock. Yeah, get out of the car. Janet is screaming.

Speaker 3 1:10:41

Yeah.

Speaker 4 1:10:42

Bloody murder the whole time.

Speaker 2 1:10:44

Damn, and I'm out in the field looking for her.

Speaker 4 1:10:48

Oh God. And then I finally trip over her. This is a bad moment. Literally tried to put her back together.

Speaker 2 1:11:03

And screaming over here and me doing this literally tried to put her back together, to bring her back alive.

Speaker 4 1:11:04

Oh damn bro. And screaming over here and me doing this. And then somebody else came and they were like I'll take care of Tammy. And I was like I'm going to go try to find the car. So I go and I find the car what's left of it, and it's just a bundle of steel. And Chris is in the car and he's got the shifter shoved into his chest.

Speaker 4 1:11:25

Oh my God, dude and blood is just squirting everywhere so I'm holding the blood from not coming out and finally somebody else takes over and I go back to my sister. And then finally the volunteer fire department shows up Weird story because my buddy Scottott, bishop, good friend, he was also dating tammy every now and again and he comes rolling in, he's all his gear on and I looked at him. I was like scott, you gotta save her. And he's like mark, I got her, don't worry about it. And he goes down, dang bro, he's trying to save her.

Speaker 2 1:12:02

Yeah.

Speaker 4 1:12:03

Damn. And obviously she did not make it. So I lost my best friend that night and that moment would haunt me for well, a long time Thinking if you could have braked that they could have all the stuff oh my.

Speaker 4 1:12:28

God, all of it. And so it didn't really become well, it was terrible. And what was really cool, I guess looking back at it now. But I mean I had to go wake my mom up that night and here I have blood all over me and mom opens the door. Don opens the door and he's like what's going on? And then my mom comes because they knew something had to be bad at 2 in the morning or whatever it was and they see all this blood on me and I'm like you guys, Tammy's gone, Damn.

Speaker 4 1:12:59

And that just was the beginning of terrible in our family. Yeah. And I was the cause. Yeah, you know, and. But coming to my rescue was my buddy, Michael Bryan, which is a police officer. He's huge, big old guy. He shows up because he hears what happens and he's walking with me, talking with me, and then some other police officer friends show up. I had all these people.

Speaker 2 1:13:25

That's crazy, man. Yeah, from those keggers and parties that you were inviting them to, oh, and they're all showing up. This is crazy, mark.

Speaker 4 1:13:32

To help Mark man and our family.

Speaker 2 1:13:35

Man dude.

Speaker 4 1:13:36

And we're just all falling apart. I finally ended up going home. I think a doctor came A home, I, I think a doctor came um. The local doctor came to the house and gave me some medication to help me sleep because I was not good. Yeah and um, and then I woke up the next day and that's when it became real yeah two state troopers are standing at my front door.

Speaker 4 1:13:58

Janet wakes me up. She says mark, the state troopers are here and i'm'm looking at them. I was like what? And that's when it hit me that actually happened.

Speaker 1 1:14:06

And I was like oh.

Speaker 4 1:14:11

So now I'm talking to them and that's the beginning of every day, waking up with guilt, shame and remorse. I didn't even know what guilt, shame and remorse was, because I didn't think about those things Anything I ever did. You know, there was no guilt behind it until now.

Speaker 3 1:14:27

Yeah.

Speaker 4 1:14:28

And it would be from that age until I would turn 45. Wow, so that happens.

Speaker 2 1:14:34

At 23?.

Speaker 4 1:14:36

At 23.

Speaker 2 1:14:37

Dang 22 years. Yeah, Holy God bro.

Speaker 4 1:14:40

Yeah, I was 23 or 24. I think I was 23. Anyhow, okay. So now I already tried cocaine at one point. Matter of fact, we were doing cocaine every now and again. One of my buddies was getting it for free.

Speaker 2 1:14:55

Yeah, Everybody's doing it in the 70s and 80s man Stealing it from his dad out of his safe.

Speaker 4 1:15:00

But anyhow, we're doing this cocaine every now and again and it's the love of my life. And now I've become a cocaine dealer. Wow. So in the midst of using coke, I'm thinking the only way I can do this and keep up with things is to be a dealer. So I can do it cheaper yeah yeah, so I start dealing.

Speaker 2 1:15:17

you know I'm buying ounces of cocaine and half ounces here and there, and ounces, that's how it happens man Selling little loaves of it, little balls, little grams little dubs and my life is slowly unraveling.

Speaker 4 1:15:31

Actually, probably wasn't. Slowly is not the right word, it was unraveling. And so I'm going through this period of alcohol, cocaine, trying to work, raise these two kids have a wife.

Speaker 2 1:15:44

Every day, you're waking up with guilt, shame and remorse.

Speaker 4 1:15:47

Every day, and then my wife decides I can't take it anymore and she divorces me.

Speaker 1 1:15:53

Wow, so right after the divorce happens. Now she's got to work. She wasn't partying with you, no, no.

Speaker 4 1:16:00

She would every now and again. We tried to make it.

Speaker 3 1:16:03

Yeah.

Speaker 4 1:16:04

She was partying with me.

Speaker 3 1:16:05

Yeah.

Speaker 4 1:16:05

But she just got tired of me. Amen, yeah, and I mean I wouldn't even come home some nights.

Speaker 3 1:16:11

Yeah.

Speaker 4 1:16:11

Like they would go find me and I'd be up in my sister's gravesite. Oh, damn bro, and the police would find me there Wow.

Speaker 2 1:16:17

They would know.

Speaker 4 1:16:23

They'd go all right.

Speaker 2 1:16:24

You're getting eaten alive, dude, and they're going to check in on me and I'm sleeping on her grave Wow. You can't forgive yourself. Oh my God bro.

Speaker 4 1:16:33

And so that's happening.

Speaker 4 1:16:36

I'm a mess. She wants a divorce. Now she's got to go to work for the first time. I mean not the first time. I mean not the first time. It's first time in a long time because I was the only one that worked. So she goes to work at a plywood mill and almost immediately out of the gate she gets in an accident there where this machine that squishes the plywood yeah, she's underneath it cleaning it and I guess it tripped and it went off and it took her from standing position down to 11 inches holy crap.

Speaker 4 1:17:06

And uh, and I got the phone call that janet was in the hospital. I need to get there quick because she's probably gonna make it oh, jesus and I'm driving to the hospital. We're in the middle of this divorce yeah and it's a fucking mess excuse me.

Speaker 2 1:17:22

You're all right, bro. You're all right, man. This is real, I'm driving there.

Speaker 4 1:17:26

I get there, I see her and I've never seen anything like it um. Her face didn't look like a face. Her eyes had come out of her head oh, jesus um, she had broken every, so every major bone. She literally went like this yeah, oh, oh my. God, yeah, she went from five and a half feet tall down to 11 inches.

Speaker 2 1:17:49

I thought it made her fall and then was no, Nope, oh my God dude, and it does it really fast.

Speaker 4 1:17:56

So she's laying there and they're telling me she's not going to make it. And I'm looking at her and I'm I might have even been talking to God, I don't know but I'm like no, she's going to make it. She's a freaking tough one. This one, janet, is. She's a hard ass and I was like I just believed she was going to live and I'll be damned. She was in that hospital for a lot of months almost a year I think and she lived.

Speaker 4 1:18:28

Oh, my God, and she was in a wheelchair for a long time and then she ended up walking, but she's got oh my god and yeah, so that happened, um, in the midst of this. So now I'm like, all right, maybe I shouldn't divorce, maybe I should stay in this and she's in the hospital. Yeah, so now her family thinks that I'm now staying, so I will get settlement money.

Speaker 2 1:18:50

Oh my God, dude, people are crazy bro.

Speaker 4 1:18:54

I don't even know that there's going to be settlement money. I'm literally trying to figure out what to do as a young man using alcohol and drugs to kill all the pain.

Speaker 2 1:19:04

Oh yeah, you ain't got a feel.

Speaker 4 1:19:05

Went to visit her and the kids in the hospital all the time and at the same time I've got this girlfriend that I had and is now on the side burner. She's kind of waiting to see what happens and after the family did this thing with me, I was like all right.

Speaker 2 1:19:20

About the money.

Speaker 4 1:19:21

Yeah, I was like all right, no more.

Speaker 2 1:19:24

I don't want anything to do with y'all. Nope yeah.

Speaker 4 1:19:26

And here's the ironic part that one of her sisters would later on, years later, when she got a very small amount of money, stole it from her. Wow, the same one that was telling me.

Speaker 2 1:19:37

Yeah, that's fact. That's a lot how it happens. The people that accuse are usually the people doing that very thing, bro.

Speaker 4 1:19:45

Yeah, wow, that was hard, damn very thing, bro, and that was hard. That's their life. They get to work all that out, and I think they have, but but that happened.

Speaker 2 1:19:54

so now, I'm a mess. You got a wife in a wheelchair and two kids yeah, so at 25.

Speaker 4 1:20:01

Yeah, this is 27 now my god bro, some time has gone by. Yeah, yeah, she's getting better and she's now in a wheelchair. We got a car. She got this beautiful Oldsmobile Hurst edition. She had all of her controls in.

Speaker 2 1:20:18

Oh, so she could drive that around.

Speaker 4 1:20:21

Yeah, and the kids. My younger daughter, tara, was kind of the mom of the family, which the poor girls didn't deserve to be in that position at all, because I wasn't there either, and so my son and my daughter are now the grownups you know at a young age.

Speaker 4 1:20:39

And yeah, and yeah, janet ends up getting you know, I end up getting with another gal. Get her pregnant, have another child. So now I've got number three. That relationship doesn't make it much further. But in the middle of that relationship, the very first thing that happened for me was I was introduced to a recovery home Because Julie's In Oregon.

Speaker 2 1:21:04

Yeah, in Oregon so.

Speaker 4 1:21:05

Julie, my girlfriend. Her mom was an alcoholic in recovery. She got together with my mom and said, hey, we need to get him somewhere quick, he's dying. So they come over.

Speaker 2 1:21:16

Oh, you're hoping everybody could see Mark wasn't doing good, oh well, I have a lot of stories.

Speaker 4 1:21:22

Like the police department gathered up money to put me in rehab. Once came up to my house and said hey, we're doing an intervention. We're doing an intervention, holy crap. And you know what I said I'm fine. Wow, and they just looked at me and like, no, you're not bro. We love you. You're not fine.

Speaker 2 1:21:39

Wow.

Speaker 4 1:21:39

And I'm like I'm fine.

Speaker 2 1:21:41

That's what we tell ourself, man.

Speaker 4 1:21:43

So now, then, about a year later, mom and Loretta, they come to me and they're like hey, it's the lady who the new of the recovery Okay. My new girlfriend, julie. We have a child, her mom, loretta, and my mother. They get together, they come grab me and say hey, we're going to rehab. I was like what? It's like we already got it all worked out. We've, and I'm like, no, no, I got to work. Yeah, oh no, we already talked to your work. They know we're going and I'm like what?

Speaker 2 1:22:16

There's so many guys bro and they had everything Any. Thing that I said no, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 1:22:31

They took care of it and they said this grab whatever dope you have and we're going, you know, and I was like, so I got almost into, like I don't, it's close to an eight ball of coke. I go in the bedroom, I'm like, I grab it, snort as much as I can there and take it with me.

Speaker 3 1:22:44

I snort the whole thing.

Speaker 4 1:22:45

I drank about a half a case of Miller Lite or not Miller Lite, michelob Lite, oh God, oh, I think it's Michelob. Anyways, I'm done.

Speaker 1 1:22:57

If I'm going to rehab.

Speaker 2 1:22:58

I'm going messed up. Oh yeah, I did it all.

Speaker 1 1:23:01

He knows about that. I know all about it, bud, I did it all on the way there. He was smoking meth outside of Teen Challenge.

Speaker 2 1:23:10

My buddy that took me there was like, dude, you got dope on you, bro. I was like, yeah, he's like you got to get rid of it, man. Oh, let me go in the bathroom real quick, dude.

Speaker 4 1:23:20

Yeah, it was terrible, it's real bro, and then I show up. So I show up to this rehab and they're looking at me and I remember people being in there and I'm looking at them and they're just looking at me like they're looking at a ghost yeah, it's not called teen challenge, was it no?

Speaker 4 1:23:33

okay, and I'm just in corvallis, oregon, okay, on the university, in this big brick, beautiful building and it's a rehab center wow so that's all I remember going in the next thing I remember is waking up either the next day or the day after that to some guy sitting on the edge of my bed and I look at him and I'm like where the hell am I at? And he's like well, my name's Wayne and you're in rehab and I've been watching you for a while. I'm taking care of you. He goes. You've been yelling and screaming and I used to have these terrible dreams after Tammy died, yeah, man. And he goes you've been really not good he goes how do you feel?

Speaker 4 1:24:19

And I get up and I remember looking around, thinking what am I going to do? But I did surrender to this thing and I stayed there and I could have walked out. But I to this thing and I stayed there and I could have walked out, yeah, but I stayed there for 30 days, and uh best, 30 days of my life.

Speaker 4 1:24:33

Come on, buddy, oh, come on so good and I thought oh my, this is a new world and they're teaching me the big book and the 12 steps and all this stuff, and, uh, and I get out of there and I'm man, this is the late 80s, early 90s, so this is like when 1990, I believe it was, and I get out of there and I'm like I just got to do all these things right I got a new life I got to get a sponsor.

Speaker 4 1:25:01

I'm supposed to go to these meetings, okay, so I didn't. I didn't do any of it and I was drinking that I didn't do any of it.

Speaker 2 1:25:08

That's not what you do, people. No, no, no, it works if you work it. No, I did not do a damn thing.

Speaker 4 1:25:15

They said and I was back off to the races. What my justification was is I was no longer using cocaine, so every now and again I was using meth all right Jesus. So that just helped me drink more. So now I'm back going. So now my recovery doesn't happen for 15 more years wow man.

Speaker 2 1:25:36

So yeah, so in that 15 you didn't have any more events like or any create the, the meth kind of leveled you out a little bit.

Speaker 1 1:25:45

No, no no, I that was a funny statement.

Speaker 4 1:25:52

There are times I tell the story like well, in that 15 year period things worst happened than what happened already. Yeah, oh man, and um damn like I almost beat a guy to death, um, and they were gonna have mob friends come look for me and kill me. This really happened. The guy's in ICU almost dying. And then there's another case where I almost beat somebody to death because I was a angry young man that would fight anybody, everybody. All the time I've been in fights with five, six guys.

Speaker 2 1:26:31

You grew up fighting, man. It was a part of what you did, man. That's how I let out all my anger.

Speaker 4 1:26:37

I even broke my arm when I was in that rehab unit from hitting the punching bag. I hit it so hard I cracked one of my bones in my arm. But anyways, back on subject. I created a lot of hell. A lot of you know that julie no longer with me either. She decided to leave, um, and it was a mess janet went to be with her family janet just grew up with her and the kids and, uh, I made it.

Speaker 4 1:27:05

I I decided that when everything kind of fell apart after I got out, I was going to move to Arizona for the first time. Well, actually I wanted to move to Arizona but I didn't move there. I got thrown in an airplane in a blackout by my best friend because I was completely effed up. And I woke up in Portland on an airplane with a stewardess with a note handing it to me, saying you're going to arizona because your brother bought you a ticket and I'm like no way I'm getting off right here and she goes. Well, here's the other bad news. You only have 75 cents in your pocket and that's for phone calls you have no money all you have is this ticket and I had a driver's license wow,

Speaker 4 1:27:49

that's it wow no nothing wow and a pair of shorts and a button-up shirt oh and a bag with a few clothes in it yeah so so my first trip to arizona. I'm like I'm going to get off of the airport and I felt good. I was like this is sunny, this is neat, but my life's a mess.

Speaker 1 1:28:09

Yeah.

Speaker 4 1:28:10

And I go into the airport. I'm walking and I look down those stairs that go.

Speaker 1 1:28:17

Escalators.

Speaker 4 1:28:17

Escalators thank you and my brother's at the bottom. And he's, hey, Gil, Hands in the air, happier than hell. Welcome to Arizona, whatever he said. And I go, go down there and he looks at me and he goes how much money do you have? And I was like 75 cents. He goes, give it to me. And I gave it to him, he goes you don't need any money, we're going to vegas. So now, here I am, in the airport with my brother now going.

Speaker 4 1:28:42

Your younger brother, my younger brother scott and he takes me to this special lounge that he's a part of because my brother's a business guy. And we go into this bar that no one else is in and they're like, hey, scott, how you doing, because they know him, yeah, and and she, he looks at her and he goes get us a tequila, one of those tall glasses, fill it to the brim, and she's like, okay, and got this tall glass, he drinks half of it. He gives it to me, I drink the other half and he goes we're going to Vegas. So then we get on another airplane to go to Vegas. 45 minutes later we're in Vegas and my brother hands me $5 and he goes.

Speaker 4 1:29:21

if I were you, I'd go to the roulette table and put it on black, Always put it on black. About two hours later I had like 135 dollars yeah and I won every time, except for the last time but. I built five dollars up to 135 yeah and my brother's like all right, you got money. And then, of course, my brother doesn't like to pay for anything.

Speaker 3 1:29:42

He figures out ways to yeah, cops, and to navigate everything all right.

Recovery, Rebuilding, and Finding Purpose

Speaker 4 1:29:47

So we're going to shows and magic shows and eating dinner for free and all these things and then we go to his house in arizona. Hang out there for a bit and then I fly home with a new plan I'm gonna move back to arizona and uh, and I did and I left my, my little babies up in oregon in Oregon to take care of me, thinking that was the right thing to do, and it was terrible.

Speaker 1 1:30:15

Really.

Speaker 4 1:30:15

Because their mom at this time was now involved with meth. Oh damn, her boyfriends were all meth guys. I had beat the shit out of one of them, threw him through a window of his house at one point in my visits.

Speaker 3 1:30:33

Yeah, meth very dysfunctional but he, my kids grew up in this meth thing for their whole existence after she was in that accident.

Speaker 4 1:30:39

I didn't know how bad it was, um, but it was bad. So I'm, but I'm. I'm in arizona for the first time. I'm trying to talk julie into moving there. Do you think she'm?

Speaker 1 1:30:48

trying to talk Julie into moving there. Do you think she was trying to cope with being in the chair and how life turned out for her? Oh yeah, I'm sure.

Speaker 2 1:30:53

She didn't want to feel no no. Same way you were using it, exactly the same thing.

Speaker 4 1:30:58

She went through all those things I went through.

Speaker 2 1:30:59

Yeah, she looked over and saw her waving you said so she's a mess.

Speaker 4 1:31:06

Kids grow up a mess. Yeah, so I'm in Arizona and I'm thinking I'm going to rebuild my life. I still have all my notes about looking for AA meetings and stuff.

Speaker 1 1:31:17

Yeah.

Speaker 4 1:31:18

Because I was going to try to do this sobriety thing. I still have all my notes from that.

Speaker 1 1:31:22

Really yeah.

Speaker 4 1:31:23

Back in 91 or so.

Speaker 3 1:31:25

Wow.

Speaker 4 1:31:25

So I end up getting a job, get, get an apartment, build my life back up, new furniture, tv, all the stuff finally con julie into moving back in with me. So I go up to oregon, move her and the kid this was the side. Yeah, this is julie we had the one child together, tanner, yeah, move them in with me. And it needless to say, that didn't work out and um so she didn't like arizona.

Speaker 4 1:31:53

So she talked me into moving back to oregon, so we did we moved back to oregon and then I took off right where I was when I was there oh wow, cocaine alcohol dysfunction, cheating um oregon was no good for you.

Speaker 1 1:32:10

No, that's what you know.

Speaker 4 1:32:11

There it's a small town so I'm there for a short period of time when I decide it's time for Mark to bail from Oregon because I have done burnt shit to the ground. So I go back to Arizona. A company hears about me. They pay for me to move back in Arizona. This is 1995 and um back to arizona for a stint of time and, uh, about six years by yourself by myself, but that doesn't last long, because I end up getting another girlfriend you love the girls, bro, and then she gets pregnant and we have my last child, which is Allie, and her mom is Amory.

Speaker 4 1:32:54

Anyways, I turned that into dysfunctional, but I didn't need to, because Amory's a lot like me. We're both just dysfunctional with each other it just wasn't good for all of us. I got nothing bad to say about anybody that was with me, because they were with a train wreck. Yeah man, and so, anyhow, I'm in Oregon, I'm having then that all blows up and finally I'm back to Oregon again. I'm going to go back to Oregon one more time.

Speaker 2 1:33:24

After six years in AZ.

Speaker 4 1:33:25

After six years in AZ I had kind of burnt everything up. Here I was back using cocaine again, alcohol, you know was crazy. At one point, when the baby was about, allie was about a year or so old I came home to her and Amory gone, had no clue where they were and I didn't know where they were for four months oh my god that's when I started back up drinking and drugging again yeah, and uh wow and uh. It was a mess, like I said, my life's. I got too many stories to tell yeah um, but it was a mess.

Speaker 4 1:34:04

I ended up going back to oregon thinking because I heard that my old job really wanted me back. So they moved me, paid and moved me back and I'm back at this new shop that they had built. Now, keep in mind, I'd worked for this company on and off for like 20 years and I would get fired from there because of my alcohol stuff and then they'd rehire me back.

Speaker 2 1:34:27

So, that happened five times oh wow, you're a damn good worker, buddy. This was the fifth time okay and um.

Speaker 4 1:34:34

So this is when. This is about 2001, and now I'm I'm just living, you know, I got a girlfriend drinking, drugging. I live out on 30 acres of property, now out in Veneta, and um and I pretty much blew my job up. Um, they decided that I was getting unreliable again. Yeah and um, I ended up getting hurt, so I was off when I was off, being hurt.

Speaker 4 1:35:08

Like a work injury, injury, yeah, work injury came back and I was just messed up, um, and I think they I can't remember if they let me go or not I think they let me go yeah, yeah, they did they let me go. It gets confusing when you get let go and come back so many times from one place, but I got let go and then uh, that's when, um, I went off into the bottle big time like I didn't want to.

Speaker 2 1:35:36

I did not want to live anymore, oh up to this point, it was just beer and coke or beer and meth.

Speaker 4 1:35:41

Yeah, but now you're hitting the bottle I bought a bottle of no dude oh no, yeah, and uh and I had gotten drunk and I don't know how this happened, but I was in a parking lot on coburg road at the albertsons in my car. I got a cell phone and I remember getting a phone call and I was blacked out, but I remember it.

Speaker 4 1:36:06

Yeah, like, but I was like not good yeah and uh, and somebody called and said hey, we're on our way to get you. We know where you're at, stay there. So then this woman, two women show up from my work guarantee, where I work, and, um, they took me to the hospital and all I could think of was I hope they don't go through my pockets because I got drugs in there. But while I'm there, they decide that I should be in the psych ward of the hospital.

Speaker 2 1:36:35

Oh damn dude.

Speaker 4 1:36:36

Now, at the same time I'm in the psych ward of the hospital. My mom gets put in the hospital with heart failure and going to die, so she's in the same hospital. I find this out as I'm in the hospital, in the psych ward hospital in the psych ward in the psych ward dude and my mom's dying literally from a broken heart and um dang and uh, and, and I go to visit her. Um, I talked them into, let me go visit her. Well, I got my white band on because I'm admitted too yeah and I remember my mom seeing she's like what's that?

Speaker 4 1:37:10

and I was like, oh no, that, that's nothing. No, what's that?

Speaker 1 1:37:14

it's like no, don't.

Speaker 4 1:37:15

Don't worry about how you doing. You know changing the subject trying to protect mama trying to protect mom. Yeah, so I'm in the psych. We're there for like 10 days or something and um, for like an evaluation.

Speaker 2 1:37:26

You're going, oh yeah, yeah, they're checking me out.

Speaker 4 1:37:29

And are we?

Speaker 2 1:37:30

going to admit this one? Are we just going to give him some meds and let him go?

Speaker 4 1:37:33

And I was good again, Like I was like oh, this is how I'm going to live Just like when I left rehab it was like good. So what happens? My kids they're now one of them's old enough to drive they come pick me up and take me out to my country house and, uh, it's weird because on the way out there.

Speaker 3 1:37:55

All I could think of us is I got a drink right like I got a drink.

Speaker 4 1:37:57

Yeah, and I was like no, you just got out of this hospital. But they get there, they're crying, they're worried about me. I'm like, hey, it's gonna be okay. You guys don't worry about it, don't worry about your dad, I'll make it yeah they leave. I figure out how to get alcohol, damn mark. I took cans and bottles back and whatever money I had and there's a will, there's a way.

Speaker 4 1:38:21

I had dope, I had pills and I spent seven ish days drinking and drugging, literally trying to kill myself, thinking I'll never wake up from this. Like a half a bottle of pills.

Speaker 2 1:38:36

Yeah, bud.

Speaker 4 1:38:37

Chug down tequila and I'm just, I'm a mess.

Speaker 3 1:38:43

I've been there bud.

Speaker 4 1:38:46

And then finally, and this is where we're getting to the whole meeting God moment. You know, Damn I'm literally the wind is so windy out there and I remember watching the news and a tree fell on someone's house and killed somebody. And I remember praying to a God that I didn't believe in, saying please let a tree fall on this house and kill me.

Speaker 1 1:39:08

To a God, that I didn't believe in saying, please let a tree fall on this house and kill me, yeah, and then I take pills, drink, wake up like two, three hours later, yeah, buddy, and like bright eyed, like it didn't even work.

Speaker 4 1:39:18

And that's when I realized that alcohol and dope stopped working. Wow, and then I was out of it. And then I got to make the decision, the decision that I had made many times, but not like today. Today, in this moment, the decision was different, and that was I was going to put a gun to my head. But before I did I put the gun on my bed and I walked into the kitchen and I grabbed a picture of my sister, tammy.

Speaker 2 1:39:43

Oh man dude.

Speaker 4 1:39:45

This picture is so beautiful of her and everyone in our family has it. And it's funny because no matter where you walk, it looks like she's looking at you.

Speaker 2 1:39:54

Do you still have the picture? I do. It's hanging in my dining room right now as we're talking.

Speaker 4 1:40:00

I should have brought it, dang dude, but I grabbed that picture off the kitchen wall. It's in the kitchen area and I grab it and and I'm looking at her and I'm talking to her like I'm coming to see you oh man coming to see you, tammy, and I turn around and this is when I have this moment and I'm like fuck god, if you're fucking real, I need your effing help and I need it right. Effing now or I'm gonna effing die. And and I didn't say effing, I used the eff word all the way in and I looked up.

Speaker 4 1:40:32

I remember looking up saying this, because I guess God is up, that's one thing. I would seem to have in mind. I don't know, I was looking up yelling crying. I go to my room I'm talking to her a little bit more finally reach over and I grab that gun, put it to my head and pull trigger oh shit.

Speaker 4 1:40:52

And then the next thing I remember is waking up to someone beating on my mobile home door. It's a double-eyed mobile home out on like 30 acres of property, no neighbors, and someone's beating on my door and I wake up. And when I wake up I'm looking around and I'm like am I dead? Like am I having an out-of-body experience?

Speaker 4 1:41:18

First thing I thought I see the gun and the hammer's down on this revolver and I'm feeling for a hole and I'm like what's going on? But the whole time I'm thinking this somebody's beating on the door like loud and finally I get up and I go and answer the door and about a half an hour of time has gone by in this from the yelling at. You know God.

Speaker 3 1:41:45

And uh.

Speaker 4 1:41:46

So I go to the door and I answer the door and there's this guy at the door and his name is Glenn, my angel on earth. He's standing there Now. He works at the same place that I'd worked on and off for 20 years. He's a sales guy. He sells RVs. But he looks at me and I'm looking at him and it's this uncomfortable silence and I'm like so what's up? And he goes. I don't know what's up. And I said okay, and he goes. Here's what I know. About a half an hour ago, it's like an angel tapped me on my shoulder and said go find mark. And I'm looking at him and I'm like what?

Speaker 2 1:42:31

and he goes yeah, yeah, god told me to come find you a half an hour ago, you just cursed god and said god, you better later.

Speaker 4 1:42:38

Send somebody later on, we would do the math. And that was about the same time I'm screaming up bombs holy crap. And he taps this guy on the shoulder, the same guy that had been trying to get me into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous for about 17-ish years handing me these pamphlets all the time saying show up here, it'll change your life, it changed mine, it changed you know. So-and-so's and so-and-so's.

Speaker 1 1:43:02

And I'd always say I'll meet you there, and I never met him once.

Speaker 4 1:43:07

Now 17-ish years. Okay, he's standing there telling me this and I'm like now you got my attention, you know. And then he just looks at me. You know, this is November 22, 2005. I'm cold outside, I'm in my boxers and a T-shirt look like hell, warmed over. And he's standing out there just saying you know, I don't know why I'm here, but you know, can you answer three questions? I'm like, yeah, what are they? He's like first question he's like is your life unmanageable right now? And I was like easy question yes, it effing is, it's pretty effing unmanageable right now. At the same time, I didn't want him knowing what happened here.

Speaker 2 1:44:02

Oh, so you didn't have blood. There was no hole, there was no hole, no blood.

Speaker 4 1:44:07

I have no idea what's happening in this moment so right now I'm just talking to glenn. So whoa he says. Second question tell me about god. And I'm like, oh f that, don't you even f and talk to me about god, I f this f, that f this god, you know it's fault for this and tammy's dead, because you know. I mean just go get it.

Speaker 4 1:44:30

Blame God for everything. And selfish, self-centered Mark. Anyhow, I'm mad and he looks at me and he smiles this big old freaking smile. He goes ah, you're mad at God. He goes. That means you believe in God Because you can't be mad at something you don't believe in. And he goes that means you believe in God Because you can't be mad at something you don't believe in.

Speaker 2 1:44:51

And I was like I love you, Glenn. I was like holy shit.

Speaker 3 1:44:54

I believe in God Wow.

Speaker 4 1:44:56

And that's the moment I had in my head. Holy shit, I believe in God, and then I got tingles up and down my legs Minor, but I felt something. And then he goes question three how about, since I haven't been able to help you, rehabs or jails, hospitals, girlfriends, the police, and he just kept listing things people that have tried to help you so all.

Speaker 4 1:45:24

All these things didn't work. How about you give God a chance, the one that you're so effing pissed off at? And now I've got tingles overwhelming my whole body. This has never happened before.

Speaker 1 1:45:38

I've gotten goosebumps before but this is different.

Speaker 2 1:45:41

Yeah, that's what you got, bud, and.

Speaker 4 1:45:43

I looked at him and I said yes, through bawling.

Speaker 3 1:45:48

Because you got yes.

Speaker 4 1:45:51

And I felt, when I said yes, I literally felt like everything was going to be okay. Then he says can I come in? And then he comes in and he goes get on your knees, I'm going to pray with you. And I'm like, oh no, it's come to this. But I get down on my knees, I'm gonna pray with you and I'm like oh no, it's come to this.

Speaker 4 1:46:13

But I get down on my knees. He's praying with me. I'm tingling everywhere and he's praying. I don't hear a damn word he said. But the whole time in my head I'm like it's gonna be okay and then I'm like this side of my brain it's like no, it's not. Nobody knows what happened. Oh, it's gonna be okay. Back and forth yeah, bro and finally he gets done praying. I stand up, he looks at me, he goes Mark, everything's going to be okay If you listen to the suggestions of the program and I'm like, okay, and he goes, all right.

Speaker 4 1:46:44

The first suggestion is is that you get some food? I'm going to give you a little bit of money. And then you show up at that meeting the one you've never made it to 645 in the morning and I'm like, okay, he leaves. I have a plan and I hardly didn't sleep that night. I'm trying to figure out what happened. I go in the room it's a Ruger 22 pistol. It's one my grandfather had, my dad had, and now I have.

Speaker 2 1:47:15

You know for a fact that thing fires and it never doesn't not fire.

Speaker 4 1:47:19

Right.

Speaker 2 1:47:19

Wow.

Speaker 4 1:47:20

And it's got a divot in the 22 bullet. Oh, my God dude and the gun did not go off. Wow, so that's.

Speaker 2 1:47:29

My God.

Speaker 4 1:47:30

That's crazy to me.

Speaker 2 1:47:32

He saved you, like I'm crazy.

Speaker 4 1:47:33

In this moment I'm trying to figure out whether or not this whole thing is even real, like I'm in shock and then I'm I'm literally thinking about time and he's telling me this half an hour, all this, oh stuff.

Speaker 2 1:47:48

Oh my God.

Speaker 4 1:47:49

And I'm thinking all right, something happened, I need to go to that meeting. So I did. I stayed awake pretty much all night, excited to go. I love that. Yeah, excited, I couldn't wait for 645.

Speaker 3 1:48:03

I get there at 630.

Speaker 4 1:48:04

I see all these people in there through the window and they're laughing and they're having a great time. And finally I got the courage to get out of that damn my Tahoe. At the time I got out of that Tahoe, walked up to the front door the hardest. Come on, man Like 20 feet or so that I've ever walked. Yep, and I opened that door and the very first person in there is Malcolm. Hi, brother, my name's Malcolm alcoholic.

Speaker 2 1:48:31

And I'm like hi, my name's Mark.

Speaker 3 1:48:36

Welcome, Mark and everybody's laughing.

Speaker 4 1:48:38

I'm like here's my first thought. First thought Glenn called these guys, told them to be happy and have fun, so I would stay wow, dude, that's selfish and self-centered thinking right there, because you're that important I, yeah, I thought he did that

Speaker 2 1:49:00

when you're, when you're living a life for yourself, man, you literally think everything revolves around you, bro, and it's all about you. Absolutely, I've lived it.

Speaker 4 1:49:08

This tells me my selfishness come on, buddy so I get in there and I'm sitting down in this steel chair and I'm just anxious. People are coming up hi, my name's so-and-so. And I'm like hi, mark, and then a meeting starts and it it starts with this them reading it's like anybody here, new, within your first 30 days of recovery, want to introduce yourself so we can get to know you better. And I'm thinking, oh shit. And I'm like, I look up, I'm bawling. As a matter of fact, I'm bawling. I remember seeing the tears on the ground. I'm bawling and I lift my head up. My name's Mark, I'm an alcoholic and I need your guys' effing help.

Speaker 4 1:49:54

And they all clap, you finally admitted it and it felt like I just released a thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 1:50:02

It's real dude. And then the next thing that happens.

Speaker 4 1:50:05

Is this older lady, joy? No, june, joyful Alcoholic. Hi, my name's June Joyful Alcoholic, and she looks at me and she's like Mark, you keep coming in here and you let us love you until you learn to love yourself.

Speaker 2 1:50:21

Come on.

Speaker 4 1:50:22

And I'm whoa.

Speaker 2 1:50:24

That's it there, bud.

Speaker 4 1:50:30

And in my head.

Speaker 2 1:50:30

I'm thinking wait a minute, you do not know me. That's it, bud.

Speaker 4 1:50:32

And in my head I'm thinking, wait a minute, you do not know me, and she's. She just wanted to love you, mark you just told me all the stuff and uh you went back I went back, yeah, but I got out of there that day yeah, I'm thinking what was that? Here's, here's what I got? I got hope. I didn't know what hope, even looked like that's real, bro, and I, I got this little nugget of hope and I left out of there driving home like a felt like a million dollars.

Speaker 4 1:51:00

You know like, oh my god, I'm gonna live and things are gonna be okay, come on and then I was thinking back about getting out of rehab and getting out of that psych ward and feeling the same way and failing. And I'm on my way home. It's like 16 miles out into the country. And I get out there and I'm like looking at the clock and the last thing I remember them saying is live one day at a time, One day, just focus on today. And I'm like get there. It's like 830.

Speaker 2 1:51:28

In the morning. In the morning.

Speaker 4 1:51:29

Yeah, and I'm like looking at the clock and I'm thinking, nope, not going to make it, I can't make it 24 hours.

Speaker 2 1:51:37

Damn bro, that's real dude.

Speaker 4 1:51:39

But I remembered there was a guy there that threw his phone number down to me and he said hey, my name's Mike alcoholic. Call me before you drink. Come on man, Mike alcoholic, call me before you drink, come on in this mean voice yeah, and I was like what does that even mean?

Speaker 4 1:51:53

but I took that number, put it in the big book that they gave me come on, buddy and I'm looking at the clock and five minutes going by, 15 minutes, I'm like I'm not gonna make it and I thought, oh, that guy's phone number, maybe I I should call him.

Speaker 2 1:52:08

Were you thinking I'm not going to make it, I'm going to blow my head off, or I'm not going to make it, I'm going to drink.

Speaker 4 1:52:14

Drink Okay, okay, because I had hope.

Speaker 2 1:52:16

You had a hope. You had hope for life, yeah, so you didn't want to take your.

Speaker 4 1:52:20

You were out of that thinking and that, yeah, I'm just going to drink, I'm to drink, I don't drink, I'm not going to shoot myself, I'm going to drink so call mike, call mike, and I was like great decision.

Speaker 2 1:52:35

I know it's hard. It's hard that cell phone, it's really hard.

Speaker 4 1:52:39

It's hard to push the numbers and it was when you flipped open and I'm like I mean, you have to stand outside, yeah get reception, get reception I'm standing out there and he answers the phone hi, this is mike. And I was like hi, this mark. You told me to call you before I drink. You told me to live one day at a time. And I'm looking at the clock and I can't make it another five minutes and he says, all right, I'm glad you called yes he's a little happy, he goes hey man, I know where you live.

Speaker 4 1:53:10

You live out there on Fleck Road out in Bonita. He goes, I know that. And he's like I want you to go to Ray's Market and he goes I want you to push grocery carts for two hours and give me a call. And I'm like, okay, and he sounded like the freaking boss, like this is the guy I'm working for. Yeah, and I have a job, right? Yeah, I don't even know if it pays, but it turns out it did. I go to the raised market, I'm pushing grocery carts for two hours, I get done and he tells me to call him. So I call him like hey man, it's me. And he's like all right, how'd it go, man, it's like it was awesome. I met so many people. It was, it was awesome he goes he goes.

Speaker 4 1:53:47

Yeah, but did you drink? And I was like, no, he goes, oh, program's working, he goes. I want you to walk across the street, I want you to push grocery carts for two hours at buy mart and would you call me back, damn, and I'm thinking what's he mean?

Speaker 4 1:54:01

yeah it worked yeah so I go over there, I push grocery carts for two hours, give him another call wow, buddy. And he's like, how'd it go? Oh, oh, same as before. Man, so awesome, met this person. This person needs their car worked on whatever. And he's like, yeah, but did you drink? And I'm like, no, he goes, program's still working. He goes and I'm thinking what does that mean? And he goes all right, go home. And I know it's getting ready to rain. But what does that mean? Yeah, and he goes all right, go home. And I know it's getting ready to rain. But I want you to walk up and down Fleck Road. I want you to pick up all the beer cans, bottles, all that stuff Probably you threw out. Pick it all up.

Speaker 3 1:54:36

Yeah.

Speaker 4 1:54:36

Go to the end of the street, turn around, come back, give me a call. Like three hours later I give him a call and well and well, how'd it go? And I was like it was awesome, I met so many people. As a matter of fact, my bag was completely full by the time I got to the end of the street, so some guy emptied it and I walked back, filled it up again.

Speaker 2 1:54:54

That's awesome man, and he goes yeah, but did you drink?

Prison Ministry and Heart Failure Miracle

Speaker 4 1:54:57

And I was like no idiot. And he goes oh, program's still working. And then he says this you know, this morning you called me and you couldn't go five to 15 minutes without drinking, whatever that was. And now it's been like eight hours and you haven't drank.

Speaker 1 1:55:18

Wow.

Speaker 4 1:55:19

He goes. You weren't thinking about little OU, and you were thinking about other people. Wow, and you were out of your selfish behavior. Wow, and you made it. Come on, buddy. Wow, and you were out of your selfish behavior. Wow, and you made it. Come on, buddy, and he goes. So now, then, I want you to show up at that a meeting tomorrow morning, but I want you to have dinner first. I want you to read this in the big book and show up in the morning. And, um, I want you to get a service position.

Speaker 4 1:55:40

Um, start serving ask them what to do, and that's your new deal, and that's what I did, wow.

Speaker 2 1:55:47

Was this meeting every morning?

Speaker 4 1:55:49

Every morning, except for Sundays. On Sundays I got together with some people there and they would take me to different places and we hung out with people I would call my accountability. People today Still know them.

Speaker 3 1:56:02

Great.

Speaker 4 1:56:04

And we did recovery together.

Speaker 3 1:56:05

Wow.

Speaker 4 1:56:06

I had a sponsor that worked me through the steps.

Speaker 2 1:56:10

This is all in Vanita Oregon, vanita, vanita Oregon, vanita Oregon, eugene is where the meetings were.

Speaker 4 1:56:18

I'd have to drive out of the country into Eugene every day.

Speaker 2 1:56:20

How bad do you want it? It was awesome.

Speaker 4 1:56:26

I didn't have any money either. I remember those little Starbucks frappuccinos the small one was $1.39 or $1.29, and the other one was $1.69, the big one.

Speaker 3 1:56:34

Yeah.

Speaker 4 1:56:35

And like I'd reach in my pocket and be like all right, I can afford the big one today. Right, because I needed like $2 or $3 in gas $5. Yeah, yeah, but that's how close I was.

Speaker 2 1:56:46

That's where you were.

Speaker 4 1:56:47

That's where I was and, to be honest with you, it was one of the happiest times in my life. Amen. I had hope. I knew that I was going to be okay.

Speaker 2 1:56:55

You were serving out of your selfish self.

Speaker 4 1:57:00

Yes, yeah, go ahead, bro man dude, you guys want to talk and I'll come back. Go ahead, get it man.

Speaker 2 1:57:12

P oh yeah, go ahead, get it man. Pee break, pee break. This is live yo, man dude. I love that. I love that the dude made him go push carts. He had to give him something to do?

Speaker 1 1:57:15

he had to get his mind off.

Speaker 2 1:57:17

Get his mind off drinking, you know I mean, when you're looking at that clock and you're looking and it's five minutes, oh yeah six minutes.

Speaker 3 1:57:23

Worst thing to do is watch the clock do when you want to drink or use yeah that's crazy, bro.

Speaker 2 1:57:29

God, I think what's crazy. I love how, because I think at this point he's like is this the. Is this the 40, 45, 30?

Speaker 1 1:57:39

years maybe where?

Speaker 2 1:57:39

he's, he's at his late 30s because he was like 37 or something, 2004, so he's 42, 44, wasn't he born in 60?

Speaker 1 1:57:49

yeah, yeah yeah, yeah man. I love, though, that how he talked about making that phone call. We know that phone call, it's so hard it's easy to make the call after you drink after you watch porn, after you've done the stupid thing you're not trying to do.

Speaker 2 1:58:06

It's so hard to call before yeah which that's the key.

Speaker 1 1:58:11

I love how he pointed out the selfishness of it, you know. I mean how, in those times, we're just thinking about ourselves selfish, and it wasn't until he started getting out of his selfness that he, at the time, began to go by you know I what I mean.

Speaker 2 1:58:26

I love that Glenn had the wisdom to tell him to go do that, because somebody had to have done that for Glenn. Yeah, somebody had to have done that for Glenn and for him to give the wisdom to Mark, to keep Mark's mind busy and give him something to do to serve, and while he's serving he's getting car work opportunities and meeting people.

Speaker 1 1:58:48

What was the guy's name that gave you the phone number? Mike?

Speaker 4 1:58:51

Mike L.

Speaker 1 1:58:52

I love the fact that he had the wherewithal to get you out of your thought process.

Speaker 4 1:58:57

Absolutely. You know who his sponsor was Glenn.

Speaker 1 1:59:00

Really.

Speaker 4 1:59:01

Oh.

Speaker 2 1:59:02

God dude, it was his setup.

Speaker 4 1:59:05

Oh, they were working together to get your ass Best setup ever, becauseenn wasn't at that meeting on the first day he said he was going to be gone, which really made me nervous because I was going without him, wow. But this guy named mike was there on purpose, yeah glenn was like hey, I got a new guy for you, his name is mark nice, go get him. Yeah, and he's still my sponsor to this day really yes yeah, mike's amazing.

Speaker 4 1:59:29

You know, what's really cool about a really good sponsor is that you don't even have to talk to him on the phone. All you have to do is hear their voicemail, just hear their voice and that's all. Wow. I would call him many times and get a voice. He ran a business and I just hear him and I'd be like I'm okay yeah I hang the phone up come on on man.

Speaker 4 1:59:50

He's still that way to this day. I just left from a voicemail not long ago and just hearing his voice just brought me back to all of the times that I called, and hearing this voice of reason.

Speaker 2 2:00:02

You make sure to share this with him so he can hear all this man, yeah, yeah, jesus.

Speaker 4 2:00:07

He's very AA anonymity.

Speaker 1 2:00:11

So you know.

Speaker 4 2:00:12

I keep it to just simple stuff when I talk about him. Yeah, but yeah, he's amazing.

Speaker 1 2:00:19

I got a message from my first sponsor on Easter you know he is risen.

Speaker 2 2:00:25

Oh, the military asshole.

Speaker 1 2:00:26

And I thought about all the conversations we had just from that text message.

Speaker 2 2:00:31

Come on bro, Come on, dude, Reaching back out to him maybe. Come on, man.

Speaker 1 2:00:36

I kind of need him back in my life Because he didn't let me slack. He was a military hard hat.

Speaker 2 2:00:40

that did not let dad slack, bro, he was a military dude. That's what dad needs.

Speaker 1 2:00:43

And he'd be like come on, man, really you know what I mean, and he was hard on me and I needed that and at the time I thought this sucks. You know what I?

Speaker 4 2:00:51

mean, let me just say something real quick. Mike was not really my friend, mike was my leader.

Speaker 1 2:00:58

Wow.

Speaker 4 2:01:00

I never went to. Mike's house. We never went out to coffee together.

Speaker 3 2:01:04

Call me when you need help with your alcoholism.

Speaker 4 2:01:08

I don't care about your girl problems.

Speaker 2 2:01:10

I don't care about your shit. I want to know what to do. I'm here to help you quit drinking. Yeah, to deal with life on life's terms, buddy, that's good he would just right in my face.

Speaker 3 2:01:21

As a matter of fact, this is him.

Speaker 4 2:01:23

I'll give you a for example, it took me like nine months to do my ninth or my fourth step.

Speaker 1 2:01:29

I'll give you a for example, it took me like nine months to do my ninth or my fourth step. Amen, Keep in mind it took me less than a minute or so to do the first three steps because he did it on the front porch.

Speaker 4 2:01:36

Oh, by the way, when they was praying for me that was the third step. Prayer is what he was praying. I learned that later.

Speaker 2 2:01:40

Surrender your will and your life and care and control. Yeah, so anyhow, he's that guy oh yeah, the first question was is your life unmanageable?

Speaker 4 2:01:53

first three steps. So anyway, now I'm at my fourth step. He's like all right, I'm done with you, I need your fourth step, like by tuesday wow I was like oh, crap so mike said this, or glenn, no, mike oh, my sponsor, he's like hey, you've been dragging your feet on this four-step. Yeah, it's time.

Speaker 1 2:02:10

Wow.

Speaker 4 2:02:11

So now then I'm working over the weekend, I start writing things down and pretty soon there's a magical thing that happens when you put pen to paper. All of a sudden I was remembering things, writing things down, and I learned about how terrible I was with women in relationships. It was a mess but, I was bawling the whole time. I was writing.

Speaker 4 2:02:37

It's real, bro, and then I I meet up with him on tuesday and I'm thinking he's gonna read all this, it's gonna be amazing. And he looks at me, he grabs it, I hand the my note I didn't know how it worked and he's like I don't need to read that. He goes tell me what you wrote. And I was like I kind of gave him a nutshell and told him about.

Speaker 4 2:02:57

You know how I figured out how I hurt all these people? And he looks at me, real serious, like so you're done. And I was like, yeah, and he goes. All right, what didn't you effing put in there, just like that? Oh, I robbed a gas station when I was 16 years old. And he looks at me and he goes yeah, is that all? I'm like yeah, he goes. Okay, now you don't have to fucking drink.

Speaker 4 2:03:24

Nice, he goes, you need to put it all in there. Yeah, damn, and I goes. You need to put it all in there yeah. Damn. And I goes like I couldn't put that in there, and he goes yeah, I understand that. I understand the feeling of that. But now it's in the light.

Speaker 3 2:03:38

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:03:39

And now we don't have to drink. Come on and I'm like, oh, and it felt so good, because he's the only person I ever told.

Speaker 1 2:03:46

Wow.

Speaker 4 2:03:50

And I literally robbed myself at the gas station saying I got robbed.

Speaker 2 2:03:53

Really, I love you, Mark. They came in and took all my stuff. Dude, it's in my back pocket. You talking about insanity while you're drinking.

Speaker 4 2:04:01

It's real dude, I'll tell you more insanity. This just hit my brain, I'm going to say it out loud. When I was quitting drinking with my girlfriend there so she could see how I was trying to quit, I bought a six-pack of O'Doul's, emptied them out, bought a six-pack of Bud Light put them in the O'Doul's took them home and I was drinking O'Doul's out of there like I was a good guy. That's how insanity of alcoholism is right there, man.

Speaker 2 2:04:29

that's just playing tricks on us, lying to ourselves, man.

Speaker 4 2:04:32

This is me before.

Speaker 2 2:04:33

I came in.

Speaker 4 2:04:35

I'm a mess, I'm a liar, cheating, a thief. Right I get into AA. I learn about serving, I learn about helping others. I'm doing my steps. My life is changing. The Ninth Step Promises which I just read last night in a teaching at east mesa, cr. You know the promises in ninth step. I remember hearing that, thinking that's not, that might be for them, but it's not for me yeah that's never gonna happen to me.

Speaker 1 2:05:00

I'm wrong wrong again, but because they did come true.

Speaker 4 2:05:03

Yeah and um, the fear of economical insecurity will leave you, oh, and it left me. All of those things, Wow and yeah. So then you know I'm still not a church guy at all, but I'm sober now a year.

Speaker 2 2:05:23

I have to ask you real quick, bro, because me and Dad were talking about this when you were in the restroom.

Speaker 3 2:05:27

Okay.

Speaker 2 2:05:27

When we first started, you said this thing about 45 at year 45, you're 45 years old. I was 45 when I got sober. Okay, okay. So this is this is what 2005 is me being 45 years old.

Speaker 4 2:05:43

Wow, that's when I started my life yeah, I had nothing wow, I had. I have kids and I have family but I have nothing. And no job, no, nothing. But I've got AA and I have hope.

Speaker 1 2:05:57

And.

Speaker 4 2:05:57

I have God and everything came together.

Speaker 2 2:06:00

Oh, so it wasn't a higher power for you in AA? You knew God. You didn't know God ever, but you knew it wasn't a doorknob or a bench.

Speaker 4 2:06:08

Here's the deal. Let me tell you about that real quick. I know we're jumping around here, but my higher power. Originally, when I walked in the rooms because they told me I needed a higher power, my sponsor did and I said, all right, it's the ocean, because I love the ocean and I feel power in it. Go on fishing trips in the ocean. I always felt like this is where I belong. Ocean's my higher power. And then I start reading this book that Glenn gave me. It's called the 24 Hours a Day book and it has like a thought for the day, something else and then a prayer. It's this little black book. I still have it and I would read that every day and then I would notice that what I read that morning was a little bit of a different story now was happening in my life.

Speaker 4 2:06:53

And then I would go into AA and say you wouldn't believe the coincidence that happened. I was reading this and this guy named Scott Harley guy, biker guy. He looks at me and goes Mark, those aren't coincidences, those are gunshots.

Speaker 3 2:07:08

And I was like what? This is? How ignorant I am right.

Speaker 4 2:07:12

So he explained to me what it was. And then, right in that moment, I thought, huh, god's explained to me what it was. And then, right in that moment, I thought, huh, god's speaking to me, yeah. And then what happens the next day when I go into the meeting? I opened a big book before the meeting started and it was on page 53 to the agnostic, and right about in the center, center of the page. I just read the paragraph where it talks about kind of like the insanity of alcoholism, and we had to make a decision at some point and either god either is or he isn't but we had to make a choice yeah and I read that, wow, and when I got done reading I was like god is yeah and then it's like god is all the time not sometimes.

Speaker 4 2:07:52

Yeah, I was like god is all the time wow and then sometimes I was like God is all the time, wow. And then I shared. I was like my higher power is God and he's going to be it all the time.

Speaker 1 2:08:00

Come on.

Speaker 4 2:08:01

And that was my day when, I said that God was my higher power.

Speaker 1 2:08:05

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:08:07

It wasn't Jesus, it was God.

Speaker 3 2:08:09

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:08:10

Because I wouldn't even be introduced to church for another two and a half years. Wow, but I would go up to so. So, anyhow, I'm there in Oregon still getting sober. I'm there about a year and then decide I'm going to move back to Arizona and I'm going to start my recovery life in that sunshine where I'm not around.

Speaker 3 2:08:30

Doom and gloom.

Speaker 4 2:08:32

And uh, and I go there, but I tell my home group I'm going to come back every year and get my coin. And I did Wow For 14 years and I'd get my newcomer coin or my yearly coin and then I would take it over and give it to my mom. Wow, and when my mom died in 2019, she had 14 of those stacked up Dang Mark. Yep and my mom ended up getting a heart replacement.

Speaker 2 2:08:53

I was going to say Remember, that was the heart A year later. Broken heart bro, she ended up getting a heart and she would tell you that her heart came from a man named Jack.

Speaker 4 2:09:02

All of a sudden my mom was in no more fear of anything, especially heights. My mom couldn't stand on a chair. My sister, shauna, took her to the Empire State Building and she went up there and looked over that tower thing, whatever it is. And mom said she's not in fear of heights anymore. Wow.

Speaker 1 2:09:19

Why? Because of.

Speaker 4 2:09:20

Jack, because of Jack, the new heart. Yeah, wow, no kidding my mom's life changed Something about a heart brother. My mom's life changed after this, yeah. My mom's broken heart from all of this stuff. That happened to her as well. She went through a lot the stuff that happened to her as well. She went through a lot. I know this now. Um, she gets a new heart. She's completely changed. She makes it for over 10 years with a new heart that's a miracle in itself.

Speaker 4 2:09:47

Yes, wow, actually it was about 14 years, same year as my sobriety, my heart and her sobriety, or my sobriety and her heart, are in the same time frame. Wow, so dang dude.

Speaker 1 2:09:57

Yeah, it's amazing I just heard that verse where it says guard your heart above all else, because out of it flow the issues of life. Proverbs 4, 23 so there's something about a heart bro there is even if you take on another person's heart, you're taking on a piece of them yeah and that's crazy and she would say that whoever gave her heart was jack but nobody.

Speaker 4 2:10:14

But she says his name is Jack. Really yeah, and before my mom died.

Speaker 1 2:10:18

I have no doubt that she knew that. Yeah, I have no doubt that she knew that Well she knew it matter of fact.

Speaker 4 2:10:24

Oh yeah, when we would give her birthday stuff we would say Jack on it, wow, like everybody knew, wow, wow. But we were. My mom would always ask about Jesus.

Speaker 2 2:10:34

Come on For you guys.

Speaker 4 2:10:36

Yeah, for me actually, as I started going to the church, so I ended up going to a church for the first time.

Speaker 2 2:10:41

In Arizona, no in.

Speaker 4 2:10:42

Arizona. So I was here, back at the job I had had before they hired me back again. Everybody hires me back, so I'm running this place. I make a year deal with them to be there for at least a year. I'm a year sober. It's now 2007,. So almost two years sober and I'm working at this place and 2008 comes along and the economy goes to hell.

Speaker 2 2:11:08

Yeah, crash.

Speaker 4 2:11:09

And they were going to fire a bunch of guys. I said you know what, just let me go. And I was hired there February 19th I think of 2007. And I wasn't paying attention to time. But I said hire or get rid of me. Keep these guys, chris, you do my job, everybody will be better, I'll be fine. And they're like what? And you know, it's like a $70,000 a year job full insurance. And I remember driving out of there in my little 90-something Ford Escort. In absolute felt like I was 100 miles tall.

Speaker 3 2:11:44

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:11:45

And they gave me a severance check. The date on the check was February 19th. Damn bro, one year, wow, Crazy, nobody even knew that the lady the lady that wrote the check's like you've been here exactly a year and I was like isn't that weird?

Speaker 2 2:12:02

Wow, we just had a testimony on bro that they did the same thing. They gave up their job for the other people could have the work man, me giving that job up was the best thing that ever happened.

Speaker 1 2:12:13

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:12:13

Because I got home full of fear, yeah, but at the same time sober, um, and I'm thinking it's all going to be fine, and um, then I. Then I go home and I check the mail one day and there's this flyer in there and there's kurt warner the football player.

Speaker 1 2:12:29

cardinals, football players gonna be at this church.

Speaker 4 2:12:31

Yeah, his testimony, yeah and I was like I like kurt warner, but I don't like churches yeah and I'm like god's always giving me god shots yeah, like from day one yeah like more than you can I care to say yeah, you call.

Speaker 2 2:12:45

You call them god shot, but signs yeah, signs to show you you're right where you're supposed to go.

Speaker 4 2:12:50

Absolutely yeah, he uses many things with me, it's personal to me, that's right. Anyhow, I check the mail, I see this. I go in the house. Fifteen minutes or so later, this lady calls me from the AA meeting and says hey man, I want to invite you to church. I know you don't like churches, but there's this football player that's going to be there giving us testimony and I was like, no, no, I'm like I'll call you back and I walk around the house cussing. Are you effing kidding me? I?

Speaker 2 2:13:22

just saw the flyer in the mail and I'm looking up. He's not everywhere.

Speaker 4 2:13:27

He's up he's up and I'm like are you kidding me, and then I knew it was a shot yeah, I knew it was God and I called her back. She goes. Here's the deal you can go in your flip-flop, shorts, tank top and a ball cap and I was like perfect because that's what I wore every day. And so I show up to Sun Valley Church.

Speaker 2 2:13:48

Wow, no way.

Speaker 4 2:13:50

At this church. Hear him, I'm like, oh Lord. Then I hear the pastor talking about his own personal stuff in his life from the stage and I'm like this is not like any place I've ever been and it was so real and I was like this is amazing.

Speaker 4 2:14:10

So we get out of there. And she says this. She goes hey, what do you think? I was like that was amazing. And I said, matter of fact, they, they were talking about the big book, alcoholics, anonymous, all the way through there on page so. And so this is this, because I knew the big book like it was back and forth, and every time they'd say bible verses, I think, oh, that's on page, this page on this page. They're talking about the big book.

Speaker 3 2:14:35

They're actually talking about the big book, the bigger, big book.

Speaker 1 2:14:41

And I said I loved it.

Speaker 4 2:14:42

She goes well. Here's the deal they have these series and it's like four weeks long. Do you want to go to it? Just go for four weeks Commit to it. And I was like, okay, nice, well, I've been there ever since, wow, and Well, I've been there ever since Wow, and I checked the box one day that said you know?

Speaker 2 2:14:58

That was 2005?.

Speaker 4 2:15:00

No 2008.

Speaker 2 2:15:01

Wow. End of eight. Beginning of nine.

Speaker 4 2:15:03

Yeah, so I'm there. And they always handed out these cards that say did you say yes to Jesus today? And I thought what the hell does that mean? Yeah, and then check the box if you want to get baptized. All this stuff.

Speaker 3 2:15:16

Yeah.

Speaker 2 2:15:17

I does that mean yeah, and then check the box. If you want to get baptized all this stuff? Yeah, I'd see it every day.

Speaker 4 2:15:20

He doesn't even know what it means I have no clue what it means. Okay, this is how some people might say ignorant they keep giving me this every week I know, but I remember scott right out and chad talking and I thought to myself, whatever they said, you know, I was like, oh, that's what it means. And I sat down during worship and I checked the baptism box, I checked the yes to.

Speaker 1 2:15:44

Jesus box.

Speaker 4 2:15:45

The next day they called me Hi, you know you said yes to Jesus. Well, we want to help you with that and we're having a baptism and I was like I'm in, I'm in, all in, wow. And in that first year, first six months being there, whatever, I was baptized.

Speaker 1 2:16:01

Come on.

Speaker 4 2:16:01

But I was also because I didn't have a job. I was there every day helping them build the church. Come on, man so helping them do things, volunteering all day, and this is how my business started. So one day I'm in my garage and I'm like God, what am I going to do? And I'm staring at my toolbox the one, I always worked out of Now.

Speaker 2 2:16:22

I've been a manager, the one that Don gave you. No, it's now a bigger toolbox. I got a bigger one.

Speaker 4 2:16:27

That was years before $100,000 later that toolbox and I'm looking at it and I'm helping all these people work on these single moms through the church working on their cars, and I'm doing it for free. And Sherry's like no, I'm going to pay you to do it. She goes you need to get a receipt book. So I went and got a receipt book.

Speaker 2 2:16:50

Who's paying you?

Speaker 4 2:16:51

The church. But, Sherry Teeter is the head of director of care and recovery there so they're gonna, you're gonna fix the cars with the single mom yeah, the church knows me. They've heard my testimony. They actually put it on the big screen. They know who I am and now they know I work on cars. So every single mom and dad that would call in and have issues, yeah the church would pay for it. I would fix it come on wow.

Speaker 4 2:17:16

So I looked at my toolbox one day and I thought you know what I'm going to do. I'm going to start a business, and I was always in fear of doing that before. No fear now. I talked to the lady at the church that did all their tax stuff and whatever. She helped me get my business license.

Speaker 1 2:17:35

Come on.

Speaker 4 2:17:36

And I went down to Staples, I think, and they made me a generic business card which I still have today, Nice. And um, and I would pass those out. And uh, I worked for $35 an hour, Wow. And. And then I worked on people's cards for free, all the time.

Speaker 1 2:17:50

Come on.

Speaker 4 2:17:51

And then my first year in business um, out of my garage, um I was paying my bills, wow and then I would have an extra money where I could make trips to oregon to get my mom her coin or to see the kids god and then the more this kept going.

Speaker 4 2:18:08

I did this business out of my garage at one house, then I did it at another house and then the lady across the street in the big house with the big garage she comes over me one day because I'm thinking I got no room here, and that same day she comes pulling into my driveway and she's, like I don't know, four feet tall and she's short yeah drives up in this big black tahoe and she gets out, comes stomping up because she's that way, and um, she looks at me and she goes mark, I've been thinking about it, but I want to rent my house out.

Speaker 4 2:18:40

I want to rent it to you and I'm going to rent it to you for $1,300 a month. I can normally get $1,700 a month, but I want you to be the renter because I know you and I love you and you'll take care of my house. And not only that, but you'll have more room room to work on cars wow, that's. At the same time, I'm looking for places to live but can't find any and I can't afford them.

Speaker 4 2:19:02

Wow, and here she comes lays that deal down come on, I was moving out that day wow, my god I directly okay god answered my prayer.

Speaker 3 2:19:09

The house is across the street.

Speaker 4 2:19:11

Yeah, yeah my god, boom, wow. So that's my new place. So I'm there for whatever three years, yeah, and then they.

Speaker 2 2:19:19

Pick your house, pick your garage, the city of Gilbert finally gets tired of me doing this.

Speaker 1 2:19:23

And they're like you can't do that no more, so I had to go find another shop. Okay.

Speaker 4 2:19:26

About this time I'm meeting my now how did they find out you were doing? That, oh they just.

Speaker 2 2:19:31

He probably had a lot of cars going in and out.

Speaker 4 2:19:33

One neighbor got mad.

Speaker 2 2:19:36

Neighbors bro yeah.

Speaker 4 2:19:38

All the other neighbors loved it. They loved they had a mechanic on the street.

Speaker 1 2:19:41

Yeah. I worked on everyone's car, yeah, for free most of the time, wow.

Speaker 4 2:19:45

This guy that called on me. I helped him for free. Wow, and he's drunk. Oh and one day he drives by and sees some car, me working on cars, whatever. But I never made it look like, like I didn't have broke down cars Never looked broke down.

Speaker 4 2:20:03

But he called and the lady came up. She's talked to me already many times and she's always gave me a pass, but she goes. Yeah, we finally got a call and, um, and I knew who it was. Yeah and uh, anyways, it didn't matter the best thing that could have ever happened, because I went and looked for a place.

Speaker 2 2:20:20

Get the work out of your house. Get it out of the house.

Speaker 4 2:20:23

Rented a shop for $800 a month, paid for my rent, always had extra money, was able to give more money away, be able to help more people, and it's just been amazing.

Speaker 1 2:20:35

Amen.

Speaker 4 2:20:36

So I started this thing called Gil's Auto. Then we move into where we're at today. We've been there for a while now seven, eight years and our business is based off of single moms, dads helping them.

Speaker 2 2:20:48

Is this something you still do?

Speaker 4 2:20:50

Absolutely.

Speaker 2 2:20:50

Anybody out there.

Speaker 4 2:20:51

you hear this, if you're watching, if you're listening and you're in Arizona and you're a single mom with kids that has vehicle problems, gills auto amen, that's two l's man, because there is a gills auto with one l and he's in tempe.

Speaker 1 2:21:07

You know what's crazy is? I knew about you before I ever met you how's that?

Speaker 4 2:21:10

britney oh yeah, tom and amy. Well, that's who I have, because I, she had my single, one single mom.

Speaker 1 2:21:16

She had a car problem one time and I told her you know, that's what I do for a living. She's like I got a pastor who does it for me and I was like nice yeah, never even met you, never even a pastor.

Speaker 4 2:21:25

No, yeah, yeah, I used to pastor people, but I wasn't officially a pastor.

Speaker 1 2:21:28

Yeah, yeah that's word of mouth yeah, that's how much I knew about you before I ever met you, brother. That's why, when I met you and you, I was like oh, my God, I love this dude. Yeah, yeah, so yeah I try to do the same thing myself. Brother, around here at church I help single moms all the time.

Speaker 2 2:21:47

Dad goes to the broken cars and gets on the ground in the middle of the summer.

Speaker 4 2:21:52

It doesn't have to be a single mom or dad.

Speaker 2 2:21:54

If somebody freaking needs help it it doesn't have to be a single mom or dad. If somebody freaking needs help, it's hard to find an honest mechanic.

Speaker 4 2:21:58

Well, the one thing we get right every time is that we're honest. Yeah, you know, parts fail, things fail human beings fail. Yeah, but honesty doesn't fail. You're honest. You're honest and you know my new passion. I've been in many ministries. When they hired me at the church, I took over Sherry's job as the director of care and recovery.

Speaker 1 2:22:19

Oh, wow.

Speaker 4 2:22:20

And that was in 2019. Went through SV University in 2020. Covid happens. Wow, bro, it's official. It's terrible too.

Speaker 3 2:22:30

It's like everybody's in fear of everything, and I'm like mask, no mask.

Speaker 4 2:22:35

What am I doing? I'm getting in trouble, um, but anyways, we all made it through that. Thank you, um, but what happened was next was is so then I go from director of care and recovery to the recovery pastor at the church. Now I'm a recovery pastor over all seven campuses or six campuses. And then, um, which awesome. I help with all the CRs. We built our CRs. I go around and help other people start CRs.

Speaker 1 2:23:02

You helped us buddy, you helped us buddy.

Speaker 4 2:23:04

Mountain Park Church Cornerstone helped Bart a little bit, you guys, and just supporting.

Speaker 2 2:23:10

That's all. What did you say at the beginning when somebody asked hey, can you? Yes, yes, I can.

Speaker 4 2:23:17

Yes, I can. You say at the beginning when somebody asks hey, can you? Yes, yes, I can, yes, I can, yeah, if I can, I can and I turns out I know a lot more than just mechanics.

Speaker 1 2:23:21

Come on, that's the one thing I love about celebrity recovery is what you were just saying just how I know churches are weird, sometimes church people oh no I'm oh yeah, I go to church here, I can't you guys?

Speaker 4 2:23:34

you know what I mean. You talk about a square pig in a round hole.

Speaker 1 2:23:37

Mark.

Speaker 4 2:23:37

Gill with my mouth at church.

Speaker 1 2:23:38

I'm in CR. I'm introduced to CR right out of the gate.

Speaker 4 2:23:44

So I've been in our CR for like 17 years. It's been there for 18. But I got to watch all those. I was on the team helping out with CR and I love that. I love cr and we have a lot of amazing leaders at all of our campuses and always have yeah, um, even when we didn't know what we were doing, yeah, we did it anyways and um, yeah, it's been amazing we get a lot of help from sun valley crs buddy yeah from tempe, from each mesa from gilbert, they're amazing

Speaker 4 2:24:12

they've helped us out, so much, bro, and they hired me to work there, like they asked me if I wanted a job. I remember when they asked me.

Speaker 1 2:24:20

Did you ask them? You know what you're doing, right, I looked at them.

Speaker 4 2:24:22

Do you know who I am?

Speaker 2 2:24:23

Do you know what I've done? I run a business, I have a business, all right, and they're like yeah, but the job's open if you want it.

Speaker 4 2:24:30

wife, and hey, man, I think they want me to work there, yeah, doing sherry's little job, and she's like, well, how are you going to do that? I was like I don't know yeah her and I were sitting in the swimming pool talking about it yeah by the time the hour or so was up, we decided we might say yes to it. Amen, but you know it's funny about church people yeah brett humphries, by the way he's like go home and pray on it.

Speaker 3 2:24:54

So I go home, I go.

Speaker 4 2:24:56

And I feel like he called me not long after or texted me.

Speaker 2 2:25:00

Did you pray Did?

Speaker 4 2:25:00

you pray on it.

Speaker 3 2:25:03

I was like, yeah, I'm still praying on it the next day. Hey man, thank you. Brett Brett's a badass.

Speaker 4 2:25:14

Pastor H Amen. Anyways, so I go in. They hired me. I didn't even know how much money I was making. They never asked. But, I took the job.

Speaker 2 2:25:25

It's not about the money no, it's not about the money, no.

Speaker 4 2:25:29

Yeah, and then yeah, I just never seen it. And then it gets in an account that I never see because my wife takes care of all that.

Speaker 1 2:25:35

Amen. And then it gets in an account that I never see, because my wife takes care of all that, amen.

Speaker 4 2:25:37

So anyhow, everything's good there, because I'm good at working on cars and helping people. That's what I'm good at, and literally how we help people, just like you guys are, is with what we learned in our life, and most of it's through the brokenness. I know how to talk to somebody, which is why I use a little bit of colorful language. I meet people where they're at, that's good bro you know, at our church we love first and we lead second, but we always do both and sometimes love starts with an F-bomb.

Speaker 3 2:26:06

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:26:07

It's real man. And you can capture somebody.

Speaker 1 2:26:12

So now, Somebody who's coming in broken needs somebody who's real.

Speaker 2 2:26:16

A real one dude Honest. Somebody who's coming in broken needs somebody who's real honest. They don't need the church they don't need church.

Speaker 3 2:26:22

You know what I?

Speaker 4 2:26:23

mean it's funny, you say that because when I did, get hired on at the church. I don't know how many people came up to me and said whatever you do, don't change. I was like what do you mean?

Speaker 2 2:26:35

just don't do that, you know just be you and I was like well, they hired me being me, so I'm going to stay being me.

Speaker 4 2:26:46

And I'm pretty accurate on this. I think that's why they hired me. Amen.

Speaker 1 2:26:52

You're the real one. You're the real one, bud Not that the other ones aren't real.

Speaker 4 2:26:57

So now I'm there doing this job and then it turns into a then. Then I'm now the recovery pastor for all of them and then three years ago, right before I had a heart issue, they had this prison ministry open and I'm like I've always wanted to go into the prisons and so I signed up for that and I was just on one of the teams. I wasn't a leader of anything good and, um, I go in a couple times and I'm like I love it this is my place, I love it

Speaker 4 2:27:27

and these are my guys that's right a bunch of guys in orange suits how often do you go in?

Speaker 1 2:27:33

once a month once.

Speaker 4 2:27:34

well, we go in once a week. Oh, every Sunday night.

Speaker 2 2:27:37

Oh, my God, we had teams of four.

Speaker 4 2:27:40

I was on a team Wow, and Tim Skaggs was with me.

Speaker 2 2:27:44

Timmy Timmy's, my buddy.

Speaker 1 2:27:46

Love Tim man. Tim's my buddy. He's been on our show.

Speaker 3 2:27:50

Oh, really, oh yeah.

Speaker 1 2:27:53

Oh awesome, I love Tim. He's my brother from another mother, for sure.

Speaker 4 2:27:56

Yeah, he's up in Idaho.

Speaker 1 2:27:58

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:27:58

Yeah, I plan on visiting him soon Come on. It's cool so anyways, we go in. That's our place, it's my place for sure. And all of a sudden I become this guy that's volunteering. I end up becoming the pastor over it.

Speaker 1 2:28:13

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:28:13

So now I'm leading the whole thing.

Speaker 1 2:28:18

And all of the people that started. I want to go with you what's that? I want to go with you yeah, you can you can sign up. I'm available on sunday nights.

Speaker 4 2:28:23

Yeah, yeah yeah, you just got to go through the waiting process amen, this guy's called to it. Okay, those are my people yeah, oh, and you would love them oh yeah yeah, I've never been in prison, but I've been in jail enough and had enough problems. Matter of fact, um, all of them in there have seen the cigar preacher, episode one and chad is talking.

Speaker 1 2:28:42

Yeah, okay and that's that's brings street cred to me yeah, I don't know if I needed any, but that brought it. We. We did jail ministry for like five, yeah, and you talk about walking in your calling. Yeah, that was me dude. Yeah, because I don't know. To me that place is more home than anything else. I spent so much time in there. You know what I mean.

Speaker 4 2:29:06

It's so funny to me when I go in and, granted, it's beautiful to be able to walk out.

Speaker 3 2:29:11

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:29:12

But when I go in there, I just feel at home. Yeah, I feel like these are my people. Yeah, this is who I grew up with. Yeah, these people just like this.

Speaker 1 2:29:20

Yeah, Just like me. Yeah, they just got caught. Yeah, I literally asked God one time what's all this for you? Didn't let me be a drug addict. Get all these tattoos just for nothing. He said no, so you can go back in and be relatable to those people yeah absolutely, and I love that.

Speaker 4 2:29:37

Yep, yep, and that's my new gig. It's been that for three years, come on, and almost three years this October 23rd will be three years, and I just had three more people today want to sign up, so Amen.

Speaker 2 2:29:50

You said something about 2022 and there's a heart thing. What was that?

Speaker 4 2:29:54

Oh yeah, that was a crazy moment, like right before my birthday, right before I'm going to go into the prison for the first time, at the same time, the same night, on a Sunday.

Speaker 2 2:30:05

Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 2:30:06

They had the opening of cigar preacher at an event, which I was one of the people that was going to that, but the prison ministry started on that night. Well, about a week or two before that, I died. Yeah, my heart stopped. As a matter of fact, I was just kissed, casey, and my wife, goodnight, told them I loved them, went into my room and I felt something in my chest and I thought, uh-oh, something's wrong. Now I'd already taken and it was in my boxers and a T-shirt and I thought I think I'm going to die Just to myself.

Speaker 3 2:30:44

Wow.

Speaker 4 2:30:45

Just to myself.

Speaker 3 2:30:46

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:30:47

So I went and put some shorts on because I had a feeling that someone's going to come.

Speaker 3 2:30:50

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:30:51

And for some reason I put an Oregon Duck shirt on and went back out, looked at Casey, gave her a kiss again on her head. Mama said and they looked at me like what is wrong with you? And I felt like I was like I don't know in another zone and I sat down in the chair and I said looked at Joe, my wife. I said something's wrong. I think I'm dying. She's like what? And about that time I just blacked out.

Speaker 3 2:31:19

Wow.

Speaker 4 2:31:20

And the next thing that happens is I wake up to her doing this sternum rub.

Speaker 2 2:31:25

Oh, good job, Joanna, and.

Speaker 4 2:31:27

I'm looking at her and I was like, no, that hurts.

Speaker 2 2:31:29

And she's like I know I'm bringing you back, dude Fucking good, I'm glad.

Speaker 4 2:31:39

I'm good, I'm glad. I'm glad you're here. Still, casey's holy crap. I see casey running around, frantic waiting for the fire department to get there. And all of a sudden I'm looking at joe and I'm like, hey, babe, it's okay, because everything's been good in my life and I I'm okay, everything's gonna be okay for me. Dying, said everybody's gonna be okay.

Speaker 3 2:31:58

She's like f that you ain't effing.

Speaker 4 2:32:01

And then the next thing. I know I'm out again wow so heart stops again. Twice come to again her rubbing on my chest, and this time holy crap. And then about this time it's like I don't know. It felt like 30 firefighters were in my house, but like it was full and they come in and pretty soon she's off me and another guy's on me, ripping my shirt up, shaving my chest, throwing some pills down in my mouth. Chew these up.

Speaker 4 2:32:29

I'm like I'm looking at him, I'm chewing them up, I'm like it's okay, I'm doing this whole thing again.

Speaker 1 2:32:37

I've lived a good life.

Speaker 4 2:32:37

Everything has been great. Everybody's going to be okay. Thank you for helping me. And the guy looks at me and he's like, yeah, you're going to be okay, and then I go out again.

Speaker 2 2:32:49

Dang.

Speaker 4 2:32:51

That's number three. Three times Now I come to again when they're loading me into the ambulance, and that's when the firefighters on top of me were on the way to the hospital, which is only like two miles down the road, and I'm looking at him like, hey, buddy, thank you for helping me, but make sure you tell my wife I love her. Everything's fine, it's good, like my life is peaceful, I'm good, it's all this good shit coming out of my mouth.

Speaker 4 2:33:15

And I'm good. I just all this good shit coming out of my mouth and the guy goes fuck that you ain't dying on me.

Speaker 2 2:33:20

That's when it got real. I love the ER part. Thank you, firefighter, I'm keeping you here. Oh, these guys are my heroes. Yeah, man, and so is my family. It's their job, bro, it's my family.

Speaker 4 2:33:29

Yeah, yeah, my wife saved my ass that night. And then so then, I go out again come back to this is like number four or five, I don't know four and come to in the hospital and the guy's like all right, you're back with us and I'm like laying there and they're putting me in a bed and then a lady with a yellow mask on she's talking to me and I went out again and came back and then then I had this feeling like this time is not good and.

Speaker 4 2:34:02

I looked at this lady and I said, hey, you'd make sure you tell my wife when she gets here I love her, because I'm not gonna make it yeah and I'm saying all these things again and then pretty soon.

Speaker 4 2:34:14

I'm out and then there's a guy sitting next to me in the uh, in a chair next to the bed and he's talking to me and he's like hey, why do you want to die like, wouldn't these? You have all these things over here to live for yeah and uh, I'm, uh, I'm looking at him. I'm like, well, I guess I, you know, it's like I never thought of that, whatever. And and finally I'm like, all right, never mind then, I'm just, I'm gonna live yeah all of a sudden I come to and I look at this lady.

Speaker 4 2:34:50

she's right in my face and I said, I looked down and I said don't't worry, I'm not going to fucking die Just like that. And she looks at me and she's like what? And? Then I looked over and I said yeah, I just, and I'm looking next to me.

Speaker 1 2:35:08

Nobody there.

Speaker 4 2:35:09

And there's no one there. And I said who was just sitting right here? And she goes there's no one sitting there. And I was like I was just talking to a guy I think it was a guy right here and she's like there's been no one here. And then all of a sudden, boom, my wife comes in and I'm telling her about this conversation.

Speaker 4 2:35:26

By the way, I never went out again after that I felt like a million dollars they hadn't even done any work on me, except for stick these freaking pills in my mouth, yeah, and I felt like I'm fine, good, and from that moment on I was fine. Wow, I was. Never went out again. Wow, they ended up putting some ivs in my arm and did some stuff and went through all these tests. Um, they found that my uh, they call it the widow maker artery was completely plugged up yeah and um, but they said I didn't have a heart attack.

Speaker 4 2:35:56

They just said I had a heart stoppage and it stopped six times.

Speaker 2 2:35:59

They could tell me that.

Speaker 4 2:36:01

And then it gets even better. My wife says on the way there she's praying the whole time, you know, to want to live because, it sounded like I wanted to maybe die. I didn't want to die, I was just willing to you were ready, that was okay, yeah and uh, but anyway she's praying the whole way there and then this all happens. And then I see she sees the doctor and the doctor looks at her and says, hey, um, your husband shouldn't be alive. Like there's no reason, no one makes it yeah and if they do, they are jacked up yeah

Speaker 4 2:36:40

but he's fine and his heart's fine. We just need to put a stent in there. Yeah and uh, he's gonna be fine, wow. And then my very first doctor visit, to see the heart doctor for the first time that I can remember. Yeah, he looks at me and he says this he goes mark and he's got tears in his eyes and he's like I can't explain to you what happened, but we do an enzyme check, something like that, about these enzymes or whatever that build up in a heart. And he was talking about certain numbers and he said normal is 0.03 or something up to a certain number. He goes. But yours? Now, if it gets up to like this four number, he goes, you're brain dead or something bad happens.

Speaker 4 2:37:24

Um, or you don't make it and we have to, you just end up dying, or you're on a machine, yeah, um, he goes, but yours got to 740 or 74, something he goes that's not even heard of, and your heart right now is as healthy as like a 20-year-old. Wow, and he stood up. It was the guy.

Speaker 2 2:37:45

Oh my God, Gave me a hug. Oh my God.

Speaker 4 2:37:48

Crying with my heart, doctor.

Speaker 3 2:37:49

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:37:51

And we just had this moment. Wow, and I was like that's because God, Because he kept on pointing up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 2:37:57

Because God is up.

Speaker 4 2:37:58

Yeah, even he proved it that way.

Speaker 3 2:38:00

Yeah, he's like this yeah.

Speaker 1 2:38:03

He wouldn't say it out loud.

Speaker 4 2:38:04

Yeah, he's a Hindu or something right.

Speaker 2 2:38:07

But he's like yeah. Wow, and I was like yeah, God saved my ass again.

Speaker 1 2:38:12

Amen Again.

Speaker 4 2:38:12

Amen, so yeah, so I was able to go to the prison because I had my life saved. I wasn't able to go to the cigar preacher night because, I went to the prison instead? Yeah, because I knew the prison was going to be more important. Amen, and it turned out. That's exactly what it's been. Come on More important, yeah, and then going to you know, be celebrated for this cigar preacher thing.

Speaker 4 2:38:38

So, yeah, life's been amazing. It's crazy amazing and it also can be very hard. Yeah. Yeah, following Jesus is not an easy trail, but it's definitely a lot easier than my old life.

Speaker 1 2:38:56

It's a ride, it's a ride, it's a ride, it's a good ride.

Speaker 4 2:38:58

It's got some bumps, it's got some Hills, but it also has a lot of beautiful moments that only God can show you yeah, through his son.

Speaker 3 2:39:08

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:39:09

And we get the power of the spirit that hangs out in us. Yeah, big deal, big deal. Grace upon grace upon grace. Yeah, and that's my life today grace upon grace upon grace.

Speaker 1 2:39:25

Matthew 25, 40. The king will reply to anything you do unto the least of these done unto me.

Speaker 4 2:39:35

I have that on a poster in my office and it's, it's the art of God is what it's called and it's got a junkie guy sitting there with a gun, and all these drinks and shit around him Dope. And he's firing up into his veins.

Speaker 2 2:39:50

Jesus is holding him, jesus is behind him and his arm is going into his arm yeah yeah, it's a beautiful picture yeah, the guy in that picture actually looks like my father. It's a trip.

Speaker 4 2:40:00

Yeah, it's crazy yeah, the lady that got that for me said that reminded uh her of me. Wow, and it's hanging in my office today.

Speaker 1 2:40:09

Yeah my god mark. God loves the addicts he sure does dude.

Speaker 4 2:40:13

God loves the alcoholics he does, and you know, and he loves those churchy people too yeah, right, yeah um just come back down.

Speaker 1 2:40:22

Yeah, everybody needs help.

Speaker 4 2:40:25

You gotta meet everybody where they're at right where they're at buddy and I get to meet a lot of churchy people that are struggling, that thought they could do it on their own and it turned out they found Celebrate Recovery and AA and NA and CA and all those groups that saved their freaking life. Yeah.

Speaker 1 2:40:42

I saw this thing the other day. It said this guy was talking about it. He says you know how I know? Addicts are born worshipers. He said because they're willing to sell sell everything to worship one thing, Jesus man. They just haven't found the right thing to worship.

Speaker 2 2:41:05

Who's God. He had to redeem us.

Speaker 1 2:41:07

If you think about our addiction and our alcoholism and all that. I mean. We're selling everything, man Our souls for this one thing, everything, everything. Can I tell people all the time in recovery man, if you'll chase jesus as fast as you chased that dope sack, you'll be all right yeah, I mean I'm chasing jesus more than I ever chased dope.

Speaker 2 2:41:29

Yeah, I'm writing a book mark and it's called recovery, giving up one thing for everything yeah, that's good that's really what it is man. Addiction is giving up everything. Giving up addiction is giving. You are losing everything for this one thing, but recovery. You're giving away this one thing for everything.

Speaker 4 2:41:53

That's a great way to put it. What do you believe in God?

Speaker 1 2:41:54

for brother. What's that? What do you believe in God for this? One thing for everything? Yes, that's a great way to put it. What do you believe in God for brother?

Speaker 4 2:41:59

What's that.

Speaker 1 2:41:59

What do you believe in God? For, yeah, what are you still hoping for You're not done yet you still got a lot. Is there a book? Is it another?

Speaker 2 2:42:06

business A minute? No, what do you want, bud? Here's what I've learned about God, your last more.

Speaker 4 2:42:12

Oh yeah, always and the moment I think that there's no more is the moment I'm.

Speaker 4 2:42:18

I hope that's the moment I go to be with Jesus, but I know there's more. Um, he reveals more to me all the time. My, uh, my, my life is like a giant onion and a layer gets peeled and I get to work on something Another one. I mean I'm going through family stuff right now. Guess what. It's hard and it hurts and hurts my kids. But guess what we're going to do. We're going to find peace on the other side of hardship because it happens every freaking time.

Speaker 4 2:42:44

And I know it does, and I have faith that it does and I believe it will even though even today, one of the hardest moments is happening in my life with my kids. And uh, but even though they may not believe I do.

Speaker 3 2:43:00

Amen.

Speaker 4 2:43:01

And that's enough Amen.

Speaker 2 2:43:03

Yeah, you, you be those friends on the rooftop that are going to lower them in, but I'm going to you.

Speaker 4 2:43:08

Have faith for him, bro, I'm going to be there through the thick and the thin, and, and once again, my life is blessed. I know that, and God allows me to do many things. My church allows me to do many things. They trust me. I've had a set of keys to the church since the very first time I walked in there. They gave me a set of keys.

Speaker 2 2:43:31

I still remember calling my sponsor. They gave me keys to the church.

Speaker 3 2:43:35

It's crazy when they do it. Do you guys know?

Salvation Prayer and Conclusion

Speaker 4 2:43:38

who I am and what I've done I only had two and a half years of sobriety, and then they did a background check and I'm like oh no, they're never gonna let me back and they were like no, it came out fine. And I'm like how could it? Only god, god, I know, only God we were at.

Speaker 1 2:43:56

I think it was Camelback.

Speaker 2 2:43:58

Christian. Yeah, he was doing his testimony, jeremiah and Domingo.

Speaker 1 2:44:01

And he was talking about, oh, you know. So they had this moment where they're like all three of them, we all got church keys and we're all addicts.

Speaker 2 2:44:08

We're all like yeah, let's go.

Speaker 1 2:44:13

There you go man.

Speaker 2 2:44:13

This one is the original key I still have it.

Speaker 4 2:44:17

It's key number.

Speaker 3 2:44:18

A or letter A. I've had a lot of keys.

Speaker 4 2:44:22

This is the only one that really I need right now, I love it bro. But with this key, with my picture on it even.

Speaker 2 2:44:27

Come on, man, I can get into all my campuses.

Speaker 1 2:44:29

Amen buddy, because you know why they freaking.

Speaker 4 2:44:31

Trust me.

Speaker 1 2:44:32

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:44:32

Because I'm trustworthy today.

Speaker 1 2:44:34

Amen.

Speaker 4 2:44:34

I wasn't trustworthy to do nothing before Nothing. They trusted me right out of the gate, and I've never let them down, or myself down Right here too, brother.

Speaker 2 2:44:45

It's part of the reason why I am where I am. It's because these people all believe in me and are like see this stuff in me and I'm like, okay, I can't let, I gotta keep going, I can't mess up. Well, I mean, I'm fall, I'm not perfect, but I'm on a mission right now. So I'm not looking right, I'm not looking left, I'm just yes, god, my next step, yes, god, my next. And God's doing it. He was fresh out of addiction.

Speaker 1 2:45:08

Mark, I would literally work over here in Mesa, so I'd drive by drive, by every day. We live in Santana. I drive to Mesa every day. I would drop him off at the front door at six 30 in the morning morning and I would sit out there. He would sit out there and wait for somebody to show up and he'd come in and be like what can I do to help out?

Speaker 4 2:45:24

Yep and every morning.

Speaker 1 2:45:26

I would drop him off, Cause you're not just sitting at home and they gave me a job. I'm like, oh, get out of here. I almost wanted to go, like you know who this?

Speaker 4 2:45:37

is right. I don't even trust him in my house. That's why I'm dropping him off. This guy's a freaking criminal. He's not even allowed in the house alone. Come on.

Speaker 1 2:45:44

Yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 4 2:45:46

That's God brother? Yeah, it is, and it's my church.

Speaker 1 2:45:50

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:45:50

Sun.

Speaker 2 2:45:51

Valley that's it, but they they through their, the guy who never were going to church, no, through their honesty.

Speaker 4 2:46:01

Yeah, and what's the word Humility? All of that from the front stage has why I'm where I'm at still today and I've gotten mad many times. People get mad at churches and leave all the time.

Speaker 3 2:46:15

Oh yeah.

Speaker 4 2:46:15

But I recognize something right out of the gate Human beings work at churches.

Speaker 3 2:46:19

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:46:19

Yes sir, and if I want to leave one church to go to another, my expectations are in the wrong place.

Speaker 2 2:46:24

So good buddy.

Speaker 4 2:46:25

And.

Speaker 1 2:46:26

I want to keep my expectations.

Speaker 4 2:46:28

God led me here, yep. This place saved my life, yep, and I met Jesus there. I was baptized there and I fit in there, and our church is a recovery church. I don't care what anybody says, it's a recovery church. And it's my thing. If I was to ever have a tattoo, I'd love to have a Sun Valley tattoo.

Speaker 1 2:46:50

I've talked about tattoos my whole life and never got one.

Speaker 4 2:46:54

But now Sun Valley Don't get one, because you'll get another.

Speaker 2 2:46:59

It's an addiction. It is very addicting Well, that's probably not good for me.

Speaker 1 2:47:02

Very addicting my first tattoo is my name about this big yeah, and from there on now I'm 40% covered. That's awesome. Yeah, we love you brother.

Speaker 4 2:47:13

We're so thankful for you, man Well, we love you brother. We're so thankful for you, man well, I love you guys too, and by the way anybody listening. I love you too yeah um, god's changed my heart to a heart of love, and I may not like you five minutes in, but I love you right out of the gate and uh, that's what god has taught me, amen, yeah I have to share something with you about your church.

Speaker 2 2:47:35

So I tried to, for our big one-year, two-year, three-year try to have somebody that's been doing this thing and is known, I guess come in and share. And I just took a swing at it and I reached out to Katrina Moore and asked her if she would come in for our three-year anniversary. Yeah, and she said yes.

Speaker 4 2:47:59

She would. She's coming in to share her testimony. Yeah. And I'm just like wow, k Moore is a recovery person.

Speaker 1 2:48:08

So is Chad.

Speaker 2 2:48:08

Yeah.

Speaker 4 2:48:09

Chad's obviously real busy.

Speaker 2 2:48:11

Well, it was weird because I'm sitting there with my phone. I'm like God, why not Chad? And God was just like no, katrina. I'm like okay, I did. And she said yes, I would love to. I was like whoa.

Speaker 4 2:48:27

Well, you will enjoy her.

Speaker 1 2:48:31

Amen.

Speaker 4 2:48:31

Her testimony and how she talks.

Speaker 2 2:48:35

Amen.

Speaker 4 2:48:37

She's amazing.

Speaker 1 2:48:38

Amen.

Speaker 3 2:48:38

She's amazing, amen, she's good, she's really good.

Speaker 4 2:48:41

She's born for this.

Speaker 3 2:48:43

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 2:48:44

And she's been through it.

Speaker 2 2:48:46

She's been through it and while you were talking about Gil's Auto dude, I got the craziest thing, dad.

Speaker 4 2:48:56

We're going to start an auto repair shop.

Speaker 2 2:49:00

Well, one day we're going to buy your shop from you, do the same thing and it's going to be one of our things, because we're Mesa muffler, queen Creek muffler, santan muffler, a Chandler muffler they won't be called that, but we're coming in here's some bad news on that oh, you got somebody bryce, the one that runs it, boy yeah, the guy that runs my shop was in prison.

Speaker 4 2:49:24

That's where I met him. He's the first guy I met there yeah and when he left there I told him I wanted to have him work for me. He went to work somewhere else for a little bit and we hired him on um like three, four months later and he has turned that shop into this. That what it is today yeah and he is learning to give and he helps people and he's amazing.

Speaker 4 2:49:50

Him and my daughter kept that thing going and then transferring from Casey to to Bryce. He just knows the business. He's a service rider guy and he knows what to do. Skilled, that I don't have, I can work on cars.

Speaker 2 2:50:08

Do that Well there's a whole nother side to the business Me as an owner.

Speaker 4 2:50:12

I didn't care about making money, I just cared about helping people and having enough money. Yeah Well, where he thinks about money, people and having enough money? Yeah Well, where he thinks about money and literally thinks about money all the time, yeah. And now he said this to me. He said you need to let me make you more money so you can help more people. Great.

Speaker 4 2:50:30

Because I'm like I don't want to make more money to hurt people, he goes. No, you're looking at it wrong. I want to make more money to hurt people, he goes no you're looking at it wrong.

Speaker 1 2:50:39

If we make more money by doing smart things we can help more people and I'm like you're in All right, perfect, come on Jesus. No, yeah, jesus, god bless that young man.

Speaker 4 2:50:47

Yeah, bro, bless Gilzotto Well yeah, and Casey's helping him too. She still works there. She still does all the crap that nobody else can do and she's very wise and she helps him. They're a great team, anything in ministry that you believe in God. For what do you mean believe in God?

Speaker 1 2:51:10

for what do you mean by that, like, do you have things that you're not doing now that God has put on your heart? That you're like I'll wait a little bit to get. I'll do that later.

Speaker 2 2:51:17

Missionary work.

Speaker 4 2:51:19

No, no, no. My whole goal and my whole where I see me going and it's not been pointed any other direction. But that's to do more prison. Come on so we want another prison to go into. We're in there right now two nights. We want to be in Florence West for three nights a week. Build up that volunteer team, eventually get into another prison and continue doing that. Amen, More prisons.

Speaker 1 2:51:45

So good. Prisons is where it's at for me, I don't see anything else changing.

Speaker 4 2:51:50

I love that. God's got nothing else on my heart. Amen, except for recovery.

Speaker 2 2:51:55

Amen, come on heart Amen, except for recovery, amen Come on man Prison.

Speaker 4 2:51:57

Amen and recovery and prison.

Speaker 2 2:51:59

I don't know what I would have done if I would have gotten recovery in prison dude. All I got in prison was dope and hurting people and bills.

Speaker 1 2:52:07

New addictions.

Speaker 4 2:52:09

You could be more dope in prison than you can. It was easier for me to get high in there than what's out here.

Speaker 2 2:52:13

Bro, I know I hear about it.

Speaker 1 2:52:14

People come in meth addicts and leave heroin addicts, Heroin addicts. That's right, Strong.

Speaker 2 2:52:18

Before I went to prison I never used a needle. I go in there and I get addicted to them. I'm like damn man, it's crazy, I had a buddy got out literally strung out terrible, yeah, dude.

Speaker 4 2:52:38

Well, I don't want that. And you know I met with uh ryan thornhill.

Speaker 3 2:52:39

He's the head of all the prisons in arizona.

Speaker 4 2:52:40

I mean, he's the top dog, yeah, and I met with all the other top dogs and their goal is is to have more church come into all the come on, man so their mission from the top is the same as mine come on wow

Speaker 2 2:52:51

so that tells me god's doing something.

Speaker 4 2:52:53

Yeah, yeah and I get to meet all those guys again here real soon in August, so I look forward to telling them how awesome it's been. Yeah, man.

Speaker 2 2:53:02

Do you ever come in contact with the Tracy Kovac? No not yet Okay. New Freedom, new Freedom.

Speaker 4 2:53:08

I might have met him. I've taken a lot of guys to New Freedom.

Speaker 2 2:53:11

I've been there. Yeah, big dude.

Speaker 4 2:53:17

Tattoos. I probably have seen him, yeah, but I know lots of guys in the prison stuff.

Speaker 2 2:53:19

Now it's good now. Yeah, it's just getting started for you bud. That's what I feel.

Speaker 4 2:53:24

Yeah.

Speaker 2 2:53:24

It's just getting started.

Speaker 4 2:53:26

It's amazing.

Speaker 1 2:53:28

Could, you imagine Sun Valley having a recovery prison, Like a yard that's just recovery-driven but it's a prison Everybody on this yard.

Speaker 4 2:53:43

I love it Because in prison they have different yards.

Speaker 2 2:53:46

They've got sex yards for people who have done stuff to kids. I know They've got yards for people who have PC'd up. You know what I mean. This is a recovery yard.

Speaker 1 2:53:57

The only yard I've ever been on that was focused on recovery was Kingman. It was a private facility it was mandatory that you go to these classes. That was the only prison I've ever been to that had that mandatory class that you had to go to. If they would implement some kind of recovery in prison, these dudes would come out different.

Speaker 2 2:54:14

Talk to Thornhill bud. Put that into him, man, Because the recidivism rate is pretty high. It's high.

Speaker 1 2:54:19

It's like in the 90 percentile bud. Trust me, I know I've been back four times 11 years.

Speaker 4 2:54:23

Well, they know too, yeah, and they want that to drop.

Speaker 2 2:54:27

Only God's going to change that I don't know how long that's going in.

Speaker 4 2:54:32

The prison system takes a long time A long time. We need to keep praying that it goes quicker.

Speaker 3 2:54:38

That's it.

Speaker 2 2:54:40

I love it. Buddy, I'm excited for you. There's a lot of power in prayer. Yeah, there is.

Speaker 1 2:54:45

Thank you, Jesus. Help us with that, please. You're in a good place, buddy. Thank you so much, man.

Speaker 2 2:54:50

Thanks for just being so real and open and honest. Dude, Appreciate you. That's all I know how to be.

Speaker 4 2:54:58

And I apologize for some of my language, that's all right, you're good bro, you're a human.

Speaker 2 2:55:03

I don't even know what I really said.

Speaker 1 2:55:07

That's what makes you real, though, brother, you know what I mean. You're not fake, you're not pretend.

Speaker 4 2:55:19

You're not trying to put on some persona that you're some, whatever. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 2:55:21

You're real dude and that's why people like you are drawn to you, dude because they know you're real.

Speaker 4 2:55:23

You know it's funny. I used to get done with cr teachings or my testimony and I'd be like looking at somebody's like did I cuss well? Yes but you know, I don't think it was bad. And then I had a lady that she would like hold her fingers up in the audience. That meant three times. I said something three times. That's great. I didn't even know they did. Yelp reviews on CRs. But somebody did a Yelp review and said that there's a guy teaching at Sun Valley that said ass.

Speaker 4 2:55:59

Oh, Jesus I said my sponsor used to always say is your ass wrapped around an axle?

Speaker 1 2:56:04

And.

Speaker 4 2:56:05

I said that and that's what they got.

Speaker 3 2:56:07

So thank God, it was the only word I got.

Speaker 4 2:56:10

So I felt like ass.

Speaker 1 2:56:13

Is ass even a S word? I don't know. Isn't that like a donkey? It's a donkey right, it's a donkey yeah.

Speaker 4 2:56:18

My donkey's wrapped around an axle.

Speaker 2 2:56:20

It's the religious religiosity man I know.

Speaker 4 2:56:25

Yeah, that's harmful.

Speaker 2 2:56:26

Amen All right.

Speaker 4 2:56:27

Grace bro. Thank you guys, thank you.

Speaker 1 2:56:28

Let me pray for you, brother.

Speaker 2 2:56:29

All right.

Speaker 3 2:56:32

Lord, we just man Again, we just thank you for being the almighty.

Speaker 1 2:56:36

We just thank you for being the creator of heaven and earth, God.

Speaker 2 2:56:39

Thank you God.

Speaker 1 2:56:41

Lord, we just thank you for your son, mark. Lord, we just thank you for the story that was shared. God, lord, we thank you just for the rawness, the honest, the vulnerability, just a genuine character that he is God. When I hear my brother, when I look at my brother, I don't see nothing fake, nothing false. I just see a person who is authentic God and I appreciate that so much. God, so, lord, I just thank you for just his story. God, I pray that the people who are listening, god, that it stirs their faith, it stirs their hope, god, and I just thank you, lord, that they're going to get something from this God, they're going to be encouraged in some way, god, and they're just going to feel stronger and more encouraged to continue on their journey. God, and for whatever's going on in his family. God, lord, right now, we just pray that you intervene wherever it is necessary for you to intervene, god. We know that this family is called. This family is anointed.

Speaker 1 2:57:39

God that there is an enemy who wants to divide what is going on right now, Father God. So we just come against any attack of the enemy right now in Jesus' name, and we call it to cease and desist right now in Jesus' name God. Lord, we thank you for your grace and your protection over his household. Thank you.

Speaker 1 2:57:56

God Over his children, god, we thank you that no weapon formed against his children shall prosper. In Jesus name, father, god, lord, we thank you that the anointing falls from the head of the household on down, god. So we thank you, lord, that, as Mark serves and Mark declares Jesus, and Mark proclaims Jesus, god, that the anointing will overflow from his cup onto his children, proclaims Jesus, god, that the anointing will overflow from his cup onto his children, protecting them, god, from any attacks of the enemy. Lord, lord, I just thank you for Gil's auto and all that he does there, father, god, the way that he helps individuals who need help, god, and he does it with honesty and integrity, god, lord, we thank you for Bryce and the way that he's bringing this business into something new and exciting.

Speaker 1 2:58:32

God, where it's increasing. God, because in your kingdom, God, you bring the increase, Lord. So I thank you that in this increase, more people can be benefited from it, more people can be helped by it, God, Because we know that in the kingdom of God, it does take resources and financing to advance the kingdom of God, Lord. So I thank you for a man who has a mindset to increase the kingdom principle mindset, God and Lord, I just thank you for what you're doing. I, the kingdom principle mindset, God and Lord, I just thank you for what you're doing. I thank you for Sun Valley. I thank you for CR, Sun Valley, God, I thank you for just that church and what it does.

Speaker 1 2:59:01

God, we know that in this valley, God, that Sun Valley is a CR beacon. God, that people just know that when they associate Sun Valley, they associate it with CR. God, Lord, I was speaking with a lady the other day who goes to sun Valley, queen Creek, and we got to talking about CR and how, how people were encouraging her to go. God, so I thank you that you're going to be bringing more people who, who are going to take away the stigmatism that CR is just for drug addicts and alcoholics.

Speaker 1 2:59:27

And you're going to bring in the broken hearted. You're going to bring in the codependence God who are dealing with church hurt God. Bring them into CR so they can be healed and delivered Father God, so they can see what church is really like God, what broken people that love Jesus is really like. God, because that's all the kingdom of God is. It's just broken people who love you and love your son, god Love you Lord.

Speaker 1 2:59:49

So help us to just put down our walls, help us to be honest, help us to be vulnerable, help us to not be offended when we're hurt by somebody. God, because hurt people hurt people. God, thank you, god. So again, I just thank you for Mark, thank you for his life and thank you for his story. Thank you for the blessing that he is to RCR and the blessing he is to me and my son and our friendship and our brotherhood that we have with him. Lord, thank you.

Speaker 3 3:00:14

God.

Speaker 1 3:00:14

He is truly one that we treasure and we just hold dear God. So we pray favor, we pray blessings, we pray that you just open up heavens upon his household. God in Jesus mighty name, amen, amen.

Speaker 2 3:00:26

Hey Mark, can you do us a favor? Man, can you pray for me and dad and for speak life oh.

Speaker 4 3:00:31

I'd love to yeah. Thank you, god, yeah, thank you god, I'll leave my hat off yeah, you're good bro, yeah yeah, heavenly father jesus I just love you.

Speaker 4 3:00:39

Um, thank you so much for introducing me to these two amazing men actually all of the people here at their life link and their their celebrate recovery program. It's been amazing and I do pray blessings over their podcast that they have and what they're trying to do with it. Their ultimate goal is to help people reach you, especially through addiction or through any kind of life struggles, lord. So I pray, lord, that you continue blessing them with people to speak the truth and to speak it on this, and then not only that, but for all the people that hear that they would get a piece of that and take it with them and go do something.

Speaker 2 3:01:17

Thank you God.

Speaker 4 3:01:17

Say yes, thank you God. It's easier than using, it's easier than being codependent at home and angry and pissed and your life falling apart, and they can help with that through this ministry, Thank you God. So why wouldn't you bless it, right? Yeah, I know you're gonna. Thank you're gonna, and I pray you just continue giving them the right people to be sitting in this chair, where I'm at, and to help you, to help you, lord, because literally we're here to help people meet, know and follow Jesus.

Speaker 1 3:01:48

That's what we're here for through their drug addiction through their codependency their anger, their abuse.

Speaker 4 3:01:54

They've been through all of those things, and there's many of those. Thank you, jesus, for today, thank you for these two men stepping out in courage, and thank you for everything you've done in my life and for my family and my church. I love you, we love you. It's in Jesus' name that we pray. Amen.

Speaker 2 3:02:14

Amen. I don't usually do this, but I feel led to ask, if you want to, would you like to lead like a salvation prayer for anybody who's maybe watching or listening to this that wants to give their life and start that surrender to God?

Speaker 4 3:02:28

Well, it's really simple. I'm just going to say you know what, if you're out there and you're listening, it's pretty simple and we it as human beings. Thank you, lord, but you can just ask this in your own head. You can just say you know what, lord, I believe in you and this is why I know that you got your life tortured, you were beat, all of these things, and you died for me.

Speaker 4 3:02:55

Thank you, Jesus beat all of these things and you died for me. And then what I know for sure is is that three days later, you conquered death for us to show us that we can conquer this death in our life. And then and then, really, it's so simple because all we really have to do is say, yes, I believe in that story. I believe that that happened. And I believe that it happened and I believe that it's for me. If it's for mark, it can be for me.

Speaker 4 3:03:21

Thank you lord, and if it's for rowdy, it can be for me, if it's for eddie, it can be for me and we can go on with this but all I have to do right now is just say yes to this. So in this moment, lord, I want you, I need you and I love you, and it's not going to be easy, but I say yes to you. I say yes to you right now, in this moment. As a matter of fact, I say yes to you every day. It's part of my morning ritual.

Speaker 3 3:03:46

I say yes every day.

Speaker 4 3:03:48

And I pray, Lord that for anybody that's listening. It's that easy, Don't complicate it, and we love you Lord. Thank it's that easy, Don't complicate it, and we love you Lord. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for everybody that's listening. Grab onto this thing because life is very short, my golly. It is so much better when we do it this way.

Speaker 2 3:04:07

Jesus.

Speaker 1 3:04:09

Amen, amen. Thank you, brother.

Speaker 2 3:04:11

Thank you, man. Well, so, wherever you're watching from or listening, I sure hope you enjoyed this podcast. Please subscribe to the channel, man. Well, so, wherever you're watching from or listening, I sure hope you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe to the channel, man. It helps us. If you yourself have a personal testimony or you know somebody that has one that wants to come on and share, you can reach out to us through Facebook, instagram or YouTube. Let us know, I'll reach out to you and we'll get you on the schedule. We could use all the monthly support we can get. Whatever platform you're on or listening to, if you feel led to support the show, we could always use some support If you could go on and comment Just a word or what you thought of the show. Man yeah, even Jesus. It just helps us so much with the algorithms so that we can get seen. But until next time, we're going to continue to speak. Life, az. God bless you.

Speaker 1 3:05:00

Jesus, jesus.