You Retired From Your Job—Not From Life

Featuring Senior Achiever at MIT AgeLab, Henry Quinlan.   

What are you going to do with the rest of your life?

Retirement may mean leaving a career behind, but it doesn’t have to mean leaving behind purpose, curiosity, connection, or the desire to make a difference.

In this episode of the Senior Living Podcast, I sit down with Henry Quinlan for a fascinating conversation about finding meaning and purpose in the later years of life. Henry speaks to seniors about an idea that is simple but powerful: your life is in front of you, not behind you.

We talk about why some people thrive in retirement while others gradually become isolated and disengaged, and why having something to look forward to can make such an important difference.

Henry shares ideas for discovering purpose after retirement—from volunteering and mentoring younger generations to helping in the community, becoming more socially active, and finally writing down the stories and lessons of a lifetime for children and grandchildren.

We also discuss the challenge adult children sometimes face when Mom or Dad seems perfectly content spending every day in front of the television. How do you encourage someone you love to become more engaged without trying to run their retirement for them? Henry suggests beginning not with what you think they should be doing, but by discovering what might bring meaning and enjoyment to their life.

You can find more on Henry on his website, The Golden Years Learning Lab. You can also email him at Henry@omni-pub.com.

Purpose doesn't have to mean starting another career or accomplishing something extraordinary. Sometimes it's simply having someplace to go, someone to help, something to contribute, and a reason to look forward to tomorrow.

Whether you're already retired, approaching retirement, or wondering how to help an aging parent rediscover a sense of purpose, this conversation may cause you to look at the years ahead a little differently.

Because the question isn't only, “What did I do with my life?”

There's another question worth asking:

“What am I going to do with the rest of it?”

Transcript

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Welcome to Bill Corbett's Senior Living podcast. What are you going to do with the rest of your life? That may sound like a question for someone who's 25 or 30 years old and trying to figure out their future, but maybe it's an even more important question when you're 60, 70, 80, or beyond. Retirement is something most of us spend years looking forward to. No alarm clock, no commute, no boss. Finally, we get to slow down and enjoy ourselves, and there's certainly nothing wrong with that. But after you've rested, traveled a little, watched your favorite shows, read the books you never had time to read, and enjoyed not having someplace you have to be every morning, then what? Guest today believes that life in our senior years should be lived looking forward, not backward. Henry Quinlan speaks to seniors about finding purpose, staying engaged, sharing what they've learned, and discovering something meaningful to do with the years still ahead of them. And as you'll hear in our conversation that something doesn't have to be big. Maybe it's volunteering, maybe it's mentoring someone younger, maybe it's helping your community, maybe it's finally writing down the stories of your life so your grandchildren and great-grandchildren will someday know who you really were, or maybe it's simply finding a reason to get up in the morning that makes you excited about tomorrow. Henry has a wonderful way of putting it. Your life is in front of you, not behind you. So whether you're retired yourself, approaching retirement, or you have a parent or grandparent who seems to have lost a little bit of their sense of purpose, I think you're going to find something worth thinking about in this conversation. Here's my interview with Henry Quinlan. Women are much more social. Men are vertical. They're in a career and they go upward and sometimes they cut off friends as they grow up the ladder. The best example I can give you of that is visualize two tennis courts. On the right-hand side are two men, four men playing doubles, and on the other court, four women. So when it comes time to change sides, the women stop at the net and chit-chat. The men just change sides. There's no interest in that sociability. And so women are much more social by nature. And the ones that I find the most difficult, and I have friends and family and all the rest of it, men who when they get into retirement, shut down, go to any Dunking Donuts at eight o'clock in the morning, you'll see groups of men. At nine o'clock, they disperse and many of them go right back to their home to watch CNN and all the rest of it. So I had a friend who was a retired FBI agent and he used to meet every morning with three other men. And he said to them one day, he said, "We all got time. We all have a few bucks. Why don't we do something to help someone? There's some small farms in the neighborhood in our community, we can go paint a barn or something." One guy said, "Hell no." He said,"I have a stack of books I'm going to read. I'm going to spend all my senior years reading." And another one said,"I'm going to sit my ass and do nothing." And then another one says,"I don't want to do anything. I'm good." And so he couldn't get them to do it. And I give my talks about men in retirement. It's a real, real issue. And I cite some fabulous examples. The biggest job problem men have is they can't put their ego in their pocket. Their life in retirement is in front of them, not behind them. And too many are living back then When I used to be. And if I'm talking to a man and he's always going backwards, there's not much in it for me. But there was a famous governor of Massachusetts, Foster Ferkolo. He retired. He became a public defender. Think of the ego come down from that down to the District Court in the poor District of Boston. But he said,"Those are the people that need my help." Or I have a good friend who lived down the Hamptons. I called him one day, retired and I said,"What are you doing?" He said, "Hey Henry, I worked hard all my life. I'm not going to do anything." I said,"I think you should do something." Hell no, I'm not doing. So I said, "Well, okay." And a couple months later we talked. Immediately I knew something was up. He said,"I got so damn bored." I started looking at the paper for a job. I saw an opportunity for a doorman at one of the resorts. He says,"I'm outside meeting people, making a few bucks. I don't care about the money, but it gives me something to do to enjoy life." That's what they used to be. And the simple fact is life is in front of you, not behind you. So let me ask you a question, Henry, because a lot of the listeners to my podcast are the younger generation, the kids. I know a lot of them will listen to this and say, how do I get my dad unglued from CNN and Fox News? Or how do I get him to use his expertise or leadership many years ago that I started a Toastmasters Club, develop your skills, but I think a lot of seniors should be in those because they've got so many years of experience. They could be providing guidance So back to my question, what kind of suggestions do you have, if any, for the kids? How to get their parent to do something more than sitting in front of the television and doing crosswords? There's a lot of really great organizations. Some of them are government, semi-government who hire former executives to help small businesses. And they send them, believe me, they send them all over the world. And that would be the SBA, right? The Small Business Administration. Yeah. But there are state local organizations, local communities work. The first step is to find out what really does your father really want? What's good for him? And so he may have a long time desire to help kids do whatever. And so first you got to focus on him, what's going to bring some meaning to his life and tickle those things and that'll come out, guide them towards those outlets. Do you think that the seniors who say, "You know what? I worked, I got up every morning, got dressed and went to my office and now I'm enjoying not having to do that." Do you think there's any connection between doing nothing and depression? Oh, absolutely. And I can give you a better one. If you get something to involve yourself in a life looking forward, your life expectancy will improve by 7.5 years. Is that right? Yeah. The other part of that is people who are not engaged, they regress. They become slower and slower and mentally they're not there after a while. They're just existing. They're leaving, what I like to say, they're leaving an awful lot on the table. Life is meant to be lived until the very end. It's a gift. I see it as it's a gift. And when you do nothing, you're not taking advantage of that. It sounds like you're saying that if your parent doesn't want to do anything, maybe like you said, try to talk to them about something that would motivate them. Would he like to feel good instead of blah, would he like to live another 7.5 years? Simple questions. Yeah, good. One. People who are self-interest. I'm a member of the MIT age lab where we're studying why do some people live longer and engage in things. And we have meetings, and so I'm in the over 80 super achiever group. Good for you. We're all doing something. And it doesn't have to be magnificent. It could be helping your local baseball team or hockey team, whatever it is, but it's something giving of yourself outside of yourself. When you give, it feels good to give to someone else. I used to manage a senior living community for many years. There was a very wonderful woman who I always saw in the dining room. She would never show up at any of the activities we were doing. So one day she was having coffee and I sat down with her and I said, "Look, why don't you ever show up to any of the activities?" She said, "Listen to me, Buster." She said, "For 65 years, I got up, got dressed, put on my makeup, and I went to the office, and I am now enjoying watching the Hallmark channel in my underwear." So it's probably let them take that time to enjoy their free time. Maybe, like you said, slowly talk to them about what they'd like to do. There's a great study that Columbia University did, people over 80. They tracked them every day for two years, and they all had some engagement outside of themselves, and they had a schedule. So on Tuesdays, one woman went to the hairdresser. On Thursday, she played Canasta with a group, and on Friday, she did another group, but they're all socially active. One woman was partially blind. She navigated the subway system in New York City. They had that kind of motivation, and it's just unbelievable when you're doing something and giving to others. I mean, I always say to them,"Do you really need another sweater?" Now you got a room full of them. And people who engage in those quick hits for emotion, a new dress, a new car, that fades. But the good feelings you have by engaging with others doesn't fade. And altruism, whether it's just giving a little bit of your time or altruism, actually giving back to someone. Let me ask you a question. I was reading in your notes about the community that created a miniature Fenway Park. Tell. Me. About that. Well, it's a community up in Vermont, and they built a miniature to scale Little League Park that mirrored Fenway Park, complete with the wall, with all the scoreboard, just like it is at Fenway. That's another thing where the community got involved for the benefit of everyone in the community, the kids, the parents, everyone. There's plenty of examples of people giving, and I cite the example of, when I was growing up, there was a guy who was a retired banker. His goal was to make our local playground infield the equal of Fenway Park. And so every day he was out there watering and scraping and wonderful, but that gave him some meaning and purpose. Yeah. So the scaled model, was it outdoors or in the middle of the community? It was a little league field, scaled down to size to Fenway. I mean, there were some wonderful examples of people who have reached out and done things like that and revitalize a whole community. So what other ideas do you have that people can get involved in in their retirement years that you think are good suggestions? I always start from the, what do you like to do? There's a way of looking, what is my being? So think back in your life. What are those times when you're doing something and you were so involved, there was no time, you were just all in there? That's kind of a hint of who you are. So when you start looking around what you want to do, think of those moments and what were you doing? And it's generally involved in giving you time to help others experiences. Every senior does. I talk about how to write your memoirs. So a woman come up to me, I gave my talk and she come up and she said to me,"One of my daughters has had a wonderful life experience and I'd like to get some notes from you." And I said, "Well, before we talk it about your daughter, let's talk about you." To 70 something years. I said, "Let's start with how many kids do you have?" 13. There's the story. Story's better than your daughter's story. So I mean, there's all kinds of vehicles to express yourself. And I always, when I talk about the books, your kids know something about your life, your grandkids know nothing. Oh. You're right. Good point. And if you want to write some lessons for them later in life, that's a great things. When I worked in the senior living community, now this this is where they pay heavy rents and they live there and all expenses paid. There was a gentleman who was very quiet and I noticed he had a lot of burn marks on his face. One day he was having trouble with his TV, the remote stopped working, and I went up there to help him reprogram the remote. And then I saw a book cover in a framed book cover, and it was a book written about, I think it was a B-17 that crashed. And I said,"Are you connected to this book?" And he nodded his head, and he then went on to tell me that he was the gunner in that B-17 when it went down and he survived the crash, but he never wanted to talk about it. I ended up interviewing him to get a story on him. But I think that example is, I think so many people, so many seniors walk around with a story. They contributed. They did something, right? Fabulous stories. Yeah. But I believe everyone has a story. And I had a working class woman come to me with a suitcase full of notes, and she said, "I've been writing notes all my life, but I want to put them into a book." And I hired an editor for her, and she put out a book, and her family loved it. And I always say,"If you're going to write your story, be positive." And so a woman stood up and said, "Oh, Henry, I don't agree with that." I said,"Well, it's your book." She said, "The only thing I wrote about my in-laws, I want to know the date their obituary appears in the paper." I said,"Unfortunately, it says more about you than them.". Yeah, it sure does. Sure does. Well, it's been great talking to you. We're talking with Henry Quinlan, and you're very active in the MIT Age Lab. And just really quickly, what is the MIT Age Lab? What is that all about? Issues involved in seniors, a lot of what we just talked about. And what are the parameters or why do some people live longer? And it's the basics. They're engaged in life. Life is in front of you, not behind you, and you have to be proactive. Ben East, what, at 91, one of his friends said, "What are you doing next week?" He says, "Hey, I'm going to start a movie." He said,"How the hell do you start a movie at 91?" He says, "Quite simply, I don't let the old man in. If you think you're old, you're old.". Yeah. It's all how old you feel and how old you act, I think. There's a lot of that, right? Right. That's right. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Thank you very much for your time, Henry. I really appreciate your insight, and I think a lot of people are going to want to download and listen to this episode, so keep up the great work. Thank you, Henry. Thank you. And that was my conversation with Henry Quinlan. There was one thought from Henry that really stayed with me. Life is in front of you, not behind you. I think sometimes retirement is viewed as the finish line. We worked, we raised families, we paid bills, we met deadlines. We spent decades doing all the things we were supposed to do, and eventually we earned the right to slow down, and we certainly did. But slowing down doesn't have to mean stopping. You still have something to contribute. You have stories someone in your family may someday wish they had asked you about. You have experience that someone younger could benefit from. You may have a talent you've forgotten about, an interest you never had time to pursue, or something you've always wanted to try, but kept putting off until someday. Well, maybe someday is now. And I also loved Henry's reminder that purpose doesn't have to mean changing the world. It might mean volunteering a few hours a week, helping a child learn something, joining a group, writing your memories, calling someone who could use a friend, or simply putting something on next Tuesday's calendar that you're looking forward to, because perhaps one of the greatest gifts of getting older is finally having the freedom to decide what you want to do with your time. So here's a question I'd like to leave you with. What are you going to do with the rest of your life? Not what did you do, not who did you use to be? What's next? Think about that one. I would like to thank Henry Quinlan for joining me and sharing his thoughts and experiences with us. I will put Henry's contact information in the show description, but here it is. His website is goldenyearslearninghub.com. His email address is henry@omni-pub.com. And thank you for spending some of your time with me today. Until our next episode, keep looking forward, keep finding reasons to and most importantly, keep living. Have been listening to Bill Corbett's Senior Living podcast. You like doing puzzles? UST published a new book of Ben REO puzzles that promise to keep your mind active. Amazon link will be in the description of this podcast. Senior Living Podcast is the property of Bill Corbett and CCK Publishing, copyright 2026, all rights reserved.