Hello hello I am so happy that you are part of our conversation today on  Purposeful Lifestyle Development!

As you can see from the title of this episode - we’re talking about the actions that are required for you to move forward toward your goals, or toward that highest potential version of yourself, and why it can feel like your brain can be fighting you on it - even you deserve this change and the lifestyle that you want that comes with it

I mean, that’s the root of everything I coach on, really it is the root of all of  coaching and thought work.

Creating meaningful change by overcoming any barrier or boundary in your way.

That’s the reason we’re all here - why you're listening to this podcast or anything on personal development  -

It’s the reason why you are reading any book about personal growth -

It’s because You have an understanding, whether you’re new to the topic or can quote all the greats; You are aware that just like anything else you want to get really freaking good at - It takes work. Getting to the place where you are living your higher purpose and have a higher value lifestyle takes work. 

You have to get out of your comfort zone.

You have to push past what you have previously believed were your limits.

You have to DO things that you have never done before!

Its going to be hard

Its probably going to suck sometimes.

BUT - You are aware that you are choosing your hard now.

Think about that last sentence.

WHEN do you want it to be hard? Now? Or later?

Eating in a way that is conducive to good health and pushing yourself in the gym is hard.  But so are the consequences later ON of not doing those things.  Especially in our society it's much EASIER to go grab a pizza and a cocktail rather than cook a healthy meal at home. Clearly, it’s easier to relax and watch TV than it is to lift the heavy things in the gym for half an hour to an hour. 

Sleeping in is SO much easier than going for a morning run or doing something like yoga or pilates.

But… when do you want your hard? Easy now, hard later. Yeah, I can easily pick the fun bar food and cocktails and not do anything really meaningfully active... but that makes it hard later. Developing blood sugar issues is hard.  Having high cholesterol that makes your blood essentially thick and waxy is hard...hard on your heart, hard on your organs.

If I didn’t eat right, I’m sure my gut health would show signs of that eventually! And the gut biome is where we have alll the bacteria and microorganisms that determine basically everything about our health and wellbeing.  I mean - when your gut biome is off, so is your immune system,  And your mood! You mood is incredibly linked to your gut health -

So yeah. Getting sick and feeling awful and exhausted is hard too.

Not aging with proper muscle strength from not using them enough is really hard -  When it takes forever to heal after an injury because your body isn’t strong enough to repair it. That’s hard.

Not being able to play with your kids, or your grandkids, because you inflicted too much damage on your body and not enough care - .. I know that’s hard.

I’ve heard that one as a why MANY times in my sessions over the years.

So that’s the first thing you need to do when you know you want to make a change.

Acknowledge that it’s hard.

Change is really freaking hard.

I say that in my coaching meetings alll the time. Sometimes a bit of a shocked look but no - I’m not going to sit here and lie to you and tell you that making a massive change or, man, even SMALL change is easy! And understanding that is really important.

Don’t beat yourself up when you don’t want to do the thing that you know you need to do.

Don’t think you’re not motivated just because there is a voice in your head that is begging you to do the thing that brings… momentary satisfaction instead of what you need to do to be the version of yourself that you want to be.

Instead - acknowledge that it is there - be aware that your brain is just fighting the process of you breaking a pattern or creating a new pattern - because as you will hear me say all the time - your survival brain is trying to keep you safe and it does not like you to deviate.

It thinks - we haven’t died yet in what we have done so far - so please no new territory!

So when that happens,  recognizing what is happening - and it allows you to have control over the response. 

You can allow your PARAsympathetic nervous system to take over your SYMPATHETIC nervous system.

What that means, to explain it simply -

A lot of what I talk about when I say your survival brain - it’s referring to how your sympathetic nervous system responds to things.

• This is what controls our fight or flight response.
• It prepares the body for potential danger.
• These neuropathways are really short (you know; those are like the communication lines), so that’s why there is a faster response time.
• Your adrenaline goes up, and you literally have a physical reaction.
• Your pupils can dilate, your heartbeat increases, your muscles physically tighten, and you release epinephrine and norepinephrine.

HOWEVER.

When you recognize this and become aware of what’s happening, it’s like you are soothing that response.

It allows the PARAsympathetic to take over.

This is the part of the nervous system that really likes to be in homeostasis. It wants to bring your body and brain back to a state of calm.

• Unfortunately, this does have longer neuropathways than your sympathetic fight or flight response.
• That’s why is takes a bit longer.

Here’s a simple example. Imagine when you know someone is in the same room or you know someone who lives in your house is home, but if you’re intently focusing on something and they come up behind you - 

You still jump and .. I know I have an embarrassing little short scream that sounds … ridiculous. But then you laugh - or have that sigh 

Like oh my god, you scared me.

• You feel the physical response then too.
• Your heartbeat slows back down. You have that deep breath because your airways are literally allowing for it, your muscles relax.

So remember. It’s your dang survival brain that talks you out of these things.

Talking yourself out of something - even when you really want to do it is genuinely instinctual and if you personally relate to this problem, or your brain can seem to fight you on things you know you need to do to change your life- even for the better - you probably would have survived the longest in the wild back in our hunter gatherer days. 

The genes that made this response strong for you may be from a very keen and insightful lineage. But now it’s manifesting in your life as procrastination, paralysis by analysis, or that ’stuck’ feeling. But - we’re literally correcting it. We’re correcting how the brain responds to this change.

And this next part I’m about to tell you is key - and something that I think is MOST crucial for EVERYONE and for EVERYTHING you want to do.

Like literally start thinking about this for everything. WHAT IS YOUR WHY.

Think about the question of when you was it to be hard -

WHY are you doing this right now? Why are you willing to do the hard thing now?

Are you trying to get rich?Want to make 100k this year? This month?

WHY?!

Don’t just tell me it’s a goal. You have to give a WHY. Do you want to be the first one in your family to do so? WHY? Is it so you can break generational problems of income? Is it so you can take care of your family and send your kids to a good school and live in a safe area? Is it so that you can pay for the crazy expensive medical care you worry your parents will need?

TELL ME WHY.

Tell yourself why and you need to repeat it like a mantra. ESPECIALLY ANY time your sympathetic nervous system is activated and taking over - cause you to get in a state of fight, flight or freeze

When you are waking up 2 hours early to get the thing done and before you even open your eyes your brain is already telling you noooo 

"5 more minutes

No I don’t feel good today

I need the sleep

I’ll start on Monday"

REALLY? Is that really what you want?

Or - are you going to sleep for those two hour, then wake up without time to do the thing, now you believe in yourself a little less .. because guess what? When we lie to ourselves to teach our brains not to trust us!!!

When you say you are going to do something - do it! You do not want your own brain to lose accountability with you.\

So get up and do SOMETHING.

And remember - it doesn’t have to be perfect.

But momentum takes action. If you are creating something - anything - say you are writing a book. Don’t tell yourself that every time you sit down you HAVE to get this big audatios amount written!  Don’t tell yourself you need a whole chapter because your brain is not going to like that! Its going to start asking things like -

• What if I can’t do the whole thing
• What if it takes me all day and I can’t do all the things I had planned to do after?
• What if I experience really panful feelings like feeling like I am not the creative person I thought I was, or a failure even, or I start to experience impostor syndrome. ** You probably don’t think that lasts one just like that, but that is how it can show up. This is why we can procrastinate or believe that we just can’t do it.

So instead. If you are trying to write that book. Start with just sitting down. 

"I am going to sit down at this desk with either my laptop or my pen and paper and I am going to do something. 

If all I can manage is brain dumping a bunch of words or ideas, I am going to do that.

• If I need to sit in the thought and meditate or manifest some ideas, I am going to do that.
• If I can just jot down my ideas in bullet points. I going to do that.
• WHATEVER it is. But do something.

And Do that enough, you allow your brain to move from anxious or nervous or negative because that is the way it is hardwired to be - to move this action into one that invokes EXCITEMENT.

Writing the book, or whatever your goal is, becomes something that gives you the feel-good hormones, like serotonin and dopamine, INSTEAD of your stress hormones like cortisol.

If you are trying to create a workout routine that would be good for your physical health and your mental health but when you are supposed to go your brain starts coming up with all of these excuses as to why you shouldn’t - know that it is just fighting the change, and go make baby steps anyway

You don’t have to do everything to do something. 

And doing something is the majority of the challenge. Once you do it - and you actually start to move - you re 85% of the way there.

So if you want that workout routine let’s make it happen. Take baby steps. 
Just go get your workout clothes on. If it’s your favorite workout outfit that’s even better. Then just put your shoes on. That’s fine. Then just go get some water, you have to stay hydrated anyway. Then just move toward your destination. Whether its your gym, or to the park, or wherever, just go there. Then just stretch a little. Just simply move your body. Then pick the workout that feels the best…Even if that is just the one with the least resistance.

Then . just . do . one.

Once you have done one, try to do a few.

When you feel like you are done there, okay.

What other workout would feel good?

Pick one. Do one. Then do another one.

That’s all.

Step by step.

Reminding yourself WHY you are doing this. Why this is good for your physical and mental health and WHY that is so important to you. Why you need to do this for you. This is how we rewire our brain to be on our side.