Signs It's Time To Level-Up AGAIN & Accessing Your Growth Zone

In this week's episode, we are diving deep into your comfort zone, signs from your body that it's time to level up, and how to handle it when you actually ACHIEVE your greatest desires.

Host Tessa Spisak uses a visual directly from nature that symbolizes the need we feel for expansion in our own lives. From personal experiences to thought-provoking insights, she explores how our desires for more, our dreams, and our goals can create some serious uneasiness when we outgrow what we once thought was our greatest potential. (Pursuing new goals and dreams can be daunting, especially when you've already achieved your BIG goals!)

Achieving our goals and dreams doesn't always come with the satisfaction we might have expected -- but can instead open up new doorways for more delicious growth. 

This episode also includes:
-the stages of our Comfort Zones (from Comfort to GROWTH!)
- practical tips on reframing stress
- understanding the power of neuroplasticity
- how to prioritize our growth
-  how to move forward with new growth while honoring your past achievements
- addressing the fear that comes with change
- *the breakdown*: stepping out of our comfort zones can lead to SO MUCH MORE

If you're ready to challenge yourself, break free from self-imposed limits, and explore the untapped potential within you, this episode is a must-listen!!

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Transcript

Tessa Spisak: 0:01

And this quote is exactly how I want you to feel about this. He says "My comfort zone is like a little bubble around me and I've pushed it in different directions and made it bigger and bigger until these objectives that seemed totally crazy eventually fall within the realm of the possible. Hello, my loves, and welcome to the Purposeful Lifestyle Development Podcast, where we discuss all things thought, work and manifestation, but we use neuroscience and the study of the brain to do so. I'm your host, tessa Spiesak. I'm a board certified practitioner, master, life and health coach and seasoned executive speaker. If you're ready to create your highest value lifestyle and turn your dream life into a reality, you're in the right place. Let's get right in to today's episode. Hello, my loves. Thank you so much for joining me and spending your time with me today here on the Purposeful Lifestyle Development Podcast. However, and wherever you are listening in from, i'm so happy to spend this time chatting with you today At a really lovely morning.

Tessa Spisak: 1:10

I just got done planting some little baby seedlings and playing in my garden Perfect spring activities, if you ask me. Last summer, my project was fixing up the backyard, the landscape around the pool, and this year, my fun little focus has been on the front yard, side yard, and I have this beautiful little bean, like I like to call it, but basically just this little garden spot at the corner of our house that I am currently trying to fill with butterfly and hummingbird friendly flowers. I've got a little table and chair set up over there now and if you know me, you know that one of my favorite things to do is absolutely romanticize all the parts of my life, and what better way to do that than walking through my own pretend English garden with the butterflies and the hummingbirds and things right, and it was just so nice, made me feel so good. And as I was working with my plants, just kind of lost in thought, i noticed that some of my happiest, healthiest little guys were literally about to grow out of their pots. Like they were healthy and thriving and growing super strong in the pot that they were in, but they did too much and were literally about to break off and die. Right, they were just too successful to keep thriving where they were. And I am sorry if this feels cheesy at first, but hear me out because, as you know, this got me thinking, because it is such dang good symbolism And it got me thinking about this feeling that I have definitely experienced myself A big one at that And this visual was pretty perfect. So I want to walk you through it.

Tessa Spisak: 2:58

I want you to think of this little seed, a little plant seed, and after it's planted in its cozy little pot, it's all snug and comfortable and it's the perfect place for it to start to grow. It starts to spread its roots, it's finding all the nourishment it needs within the boundaries that it knows. At this point it's thriving and everything seems great. But here's what anyone who's kept some potted plants alive knows Sometimes that little seedling, just like my plants right now, can't stay in that tiny pot forever. Now, for some seeds, the first pot you put it in, it's the only one it'll ever need. It grows and it's perfectly fine and it's healthy and will never feel the need to leave its pot. It's good to go just like that.

Tessa Spisak: 3:47

But for some plants, as they grow they start to push against the edges, trying to create more room to stretch their branches and spread their roots. And if these seeds and these plants aren't given a bigger pot, then eventually it grows and stumbles tips over or, worse, it can break off entirely. It needs a new, spacious home to continue flourishing. And I'm sorry, but is that not just like us, just like those of us who know there's more, the dreamers, the strivers, the goal-oriented? I feel like that feeling is something this group of people can really relate to. And we all start off by growing within the confines of what we know, what we see. You know our childhood years. We learn what the people around us teach us. We eat what they eat, we talk like they talk, we retell the stories that they've told us and do basically what they do for the most part, and for some that's totally enough and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. They can thrive and flourish all that they need to throughout their life. In the first place they've been planted.

Tessa Spisak: 5:04

But for some They need to grow in a new way. They need to expand in a new direction. They need more room to meet their potential. That their current reality, that current situation that they're in it just can't be made happen. This reality can't make that happen, and I think most people are really good at recognizing the first one at the first time, when they know they need the first proverbial new pop right. For most people when that happens, that's when you move out of your parents' house or move to a new town or leave for college on the other side of the country. Many people do that one.

Tessa Spisak: 5:43

But I think where people can get tripped up is recognizing when it's time to do it again, when you need to do it again, if you should really go for it And, if so, figuring out how to do it again, how to get into a bigger pot, so to speak, and think what happens when you achieve the things you really want, when you get the big goal, when the things you used to visualize and hope about and work on manifesting for yourself and creating what happens when you have it. I think that's kind of the same thing For some. This need for more doesn't always happen. It doesn't happen again because they're already where it feels comfortable and good. That's. All they need is. They're in a place where they're comfortable to stop growing. Their roots don't need to expand anymore. Maybe it's not going to get any larger, but it's thriving here And that's fine. And if you feel good, that's probably where you are And when you feel fulfilled and like we don't need to strive anymore.

Tessa Spisak: 6:53

But there are some that, that feeling of wanting to stop growing or to fall into that comfort zone. Maybe that's not here, maybe that doesn't even come, because for others there's a time when you really feel it. You know you need that new, bigger, bolder, quote, unquote pot to grow into, to stretch out more, and there may be a few times in your life where that happens. The dreamers, the doers, creators there's a good chance that you're going to get a chance that, if you feel this feeling of stuck or confined in some way, or just like you know that there's something that you want to build, you want to create something bigger or greater, you can feel that feeling like you're breaking out of your pot, so to speak, when maybe before this time, before you're right now, you couldn't even imagine actually successfully filling the one you're in where that was just a dream.

Tessa Spisak: 7:52

So what I'm saying is this sometimes, even after a huge accomplishment and a huge level up, we can get that feeling, that urge, that uneasiness, and sometimes it just means we need to do it again And if you don't, you're going to feel like our little plants that are going to grow and break right out of its pot. The same thing happens to us. We feel it, we feel the anxiousness or uneasiness when we know we're meant for more but aren't actively doing more or working toward the things that we want, that are in that next level or next pot right, especially when we can't imagine what that is or can't imagine having more. You can't really visualize what that is. That can really create that uncomfortable feeling. Or even when you know what that is, you know like dang, this feels good, but wouldn't this be great? What happens if I really went all in with this thing, that I can feel it, it's a desire for me? Well then we can get that fear of. You can't imagine the responsibility that could come with that new or that more or that greater.

Tessa Spisak: 9:06

And sometimes this happens at a visceral level, like I'm talking about. You feel it in the body, we feel somewhat out of sorts if we can't figure it out. And that, i think, is the sign and the signal that we're ready to get out of what has now become our comfort zone. And that's not always easy. And I don't mean that your entire life is one comfort zone. You can be totally comfortable in one area, don't need to adjust that. That's perfect for you.

Tessa Spisak: 9:33

But in something else, you've got that inkling, you've got that desire, but, like I said, it's not an easy thing to pinpoint that, and especially when you have worked really hard to get what you originally thought was this greatest potential, your most ideal, it can kind of give you that feeling like wait, who me? I'm supposed to do more than this. I feel like my purpose is more than this. To be fulfilled is more. That can feel a little scary, because as humans we can create and I mean subconsciously here. This isn't intentional, but we can create these limiting thoughts or beliefs that doing something towards our biggest purpose or our Dharma, that could uproot an unintentional little pun there. But technically it could feel like it could uproot you from all the things that you've worked so hard to accomplish and grow into already. And so you might find yourself potentially asking could I even do that again? Is it safe? Could I really grow beyond here when I didn't know that this was truly possible?

Tessa Spisak: 10:44

But whatever it is, whatever that mental dialogue or mental uneasiness that comes with it, knowing this is, i think, what helps. Know that it's not your fault. Those limits that we subconsciously place on ourselves, they're not intentional. We didn't choose them and we didn't choose to maybe be holding ourselves back from something. It's just our mind's way of protecting us. It's protecting us from the unknown, from taking risks and stepping out of our cozy comfort zones. And I tell you this all the time Our brain's only job, the only reason it's formed in the way that it's formed, is to keep you safe and keep you alive. But unfortunately for us, that means it fears the unknown. It will work and work to try to keep you from something that it doesn't know or doesn't understand, in effort to keep you safe.

Tessa Spisak: 11:37

And that's the problem with this is, unfortunately, when we listen to that little subconscious limit and we stay within those limits, it means we're denying ourselves the chance even to fully embrace our potential, our truest desires, our dharma and our purpose, which is what I think our soul yearns for. And it creates that uneasy feeling. It's super uncomfortable because we have a knowing of it on some level. It feels like we're growing outside of our reality and it can cause some really strong cognitive dissonance when your thoughts don't meet your actions, because you want and you desire to do more, but you're not acting with it accordingly, if you're not actually doing it, much like our example of the dang plants outgrowing their pots. And so if this resonates, if this is you and you're like yep, i can totally. I know that feeling. That is me. I know I'm meant for more in whatever area I got to do it. Then here's where I really want you to listen. I want to talk to you about what that comfort zone actually is, because it's been something that's really been embedded in our conversation.

Tessa Spisak: 12:50

But this metaphor of leaving your comfort zone it actually became popular back in the 90s. The phrase comfort zone was coined by a management thinker named Judith Bardwick in her 1991 book called Danger in the Comfort Zone. In it she says it like this just so, again, i always like to put us on the same page with a bit of a definition that we all can know It's the comfort zone is a behavioral state within which a person operates at an anxiety neutral condition. They're using a limited set of behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance, without a sense of risk usually. But as we talked about for some, that in itself that sitting in the comfort zone is what creates anxiety, because the risk is understanding that right now there's a lack of growth And this could be as simple.

Tessa Spisak: 13:47

As you know, your biggest goal was the one job that paid a lot of money that you could work on something that you really cared about, and for the longest time this has been your biggest vision, the biggest manifestation and the biggest goal. But then you get it And it's amazing and exciting and stimulating at first, and then you continue to learn and you grow and you discover new parts of you And maybe other things become important. Maybe learning something new becomes important, that you've used everything, all the nutrients out of this pot, so to speak And now you find yourself struggling with the feeling of you know there's something different meant for you out of this work or this job. And what do you do then? if you've spent your whole life wanting this job and now you have it and now you want something different, that can feel super conflicting. Or if all you've ever set your sights on was having a spouse and a kids and you know a home that's really safe for them.

Tessa Spisak: 14:51

That was your biggest vision And that's all you dreamed about was creating your family and a safe place for your family. And then you do it And then you have your dream family and your safety for your family, and you were successful at it. But now you have room for more desire. It's open your eyes and now you have available energy to other dreams and goals and wants for you. And maybe now that creative side of you that we haven't really tapped into, that we didn't pay much mind, now it's really yelling up that that singing or voiceover or the painting or whatever, something filling the blank for you that now that's pulling a little bit more of your attention. This can really create this tug of war between what you want now and those past desires of wanting this so much And maybe the fear that going after this next thing, this next level of you, well, maybe it leaves the last one with less.

Tessa Spisak: 15:54

You know, in this situation you want to do something for you, you want to tap into your creativity, but you don't want to give less attention to the family you worked so hard to give to and create. That can really create some tug of war. That totally makes sense. The thought that maybe you'd have to hurt something that you've already created to get more. And while that is totally not the case, when we step out of the picture and hindsight is 2020, we know that's not the case it definitely makes sense why we could feel that way Again, even if it's a subconscious thought we're not even fully realizing it, why we can feel this way in the body.

Tessa Spisak: 16:34

And if you talk with me or coach with me, then you know I talk about the comfort zone as technically having four layers. And this is a way to really check in with yourself, take some inventory and see if there's a place that you, on whatever level, just know you're ready to grow. So I want you to have this visual. It's a visual from positive psychology and it's the truest thing I know on the topic. So you start, you picture this little bubble. It's your initial comfort zone. It's where you feel safe and secure. But to expand that comfort zone there's a next layer that's kind of like a fear zone.

Tessa Spisak: 17:17

The fear zone is where we can definitely be affected by other people's opinions, what they think about what we're doing. You know they can definitely change our opinion of what we're going after if we're doing it successfully. We're just kind of susceptible to it. We might still be working through all of the excuses here Really play in that cat and mouse in your own head And maybe we really don't have full confidence. But we're stepping out, we're out of the comfort zone. But unfortunately that next area typically is a fear zone. But if you can stick that out right after the fear zone, if you can just hold through it and trust yourself enough.

Tessa Spisak: 18:00

Next comes the learning zone. That's where you actually start to deal with some of the challenges that come up. You've acquired new skills. You really feel some of these things that once were in the fear zone starting to feel more like the comfort zone, feel more familiar. That's where you start moving into what is called the growth zone. This is where you find your purpose. You feel it again Like you're living your dreams, like you are realizing and seeing again all the things that you found yourself manifesting and visualizing. But sometimes here's what you gotta know In the growth zone, where we've learned so much, we've learned more about ourselves and what we're able to do, that's where another set of goals and another set of visualized potential it might start creeping up once again.

Tessa Spisak: 19:04

So I have some tips for you. If you find yourself, you know, once you do this inventory and you're looking, you're like man. I know I can do more, different, bolder, bigger, whatever here. This is how I want you to start. Going through. This process Cause again some of this uneasiness or this just feeling out of sorts. It comes with not knowing what to do about it. So we know where it's coming from, we know what it is and this is how we want to deal with it.

Tessa Spisak: 19:34

So first you gotta reframe your stress. I've said this before, but this is a great reminder Psychologically and in the body, there is no difference between anxiousness and excitement. They're both a very similar stress response. Our body responds the same way, but the main difference here is whether they're perceived as a positive or a negative. Regardless the visceral, the bodily feelings, those are very similar, almost exactly the same, and society tends to conceptualize all stress as bad. But I want you to think of the idea of you stress. Have you heard of that one? E-U-S-T-R-E-S-S? this is also positive stress. You stress proves that not all stress is bad. This is what gives us the energy to get through a public speech, to go on a first date, to do something that we've never done before, but we're excited about it. It's that type of thing And we do have the ability to reframe these things as exciting and that's what helps move us out of the comfort zone. Anytime you feel that stress, you feel anxious about moving forward. Take some note of how you're feeling in your body and see if we can just reframe this. Is this excitement instead, now, next, after we're reframing what that stress feels like?

Tessa Spisak: 21:03

another important part why I always talk about the brain is understanding your neuroplasticity. It's why I teach on this, because one of the easiest ways to create a growth mindset, you know, get into that growth zone and be excited about getting into that growth zone is to understand and embrace neuroplasticity research and what we know about the brain, understand how it works and how to make it work for you. Once you understand the things that I talk about all the time, like your reward system, how to get a dopamine drip, kind of how to hack your brain to get on your side it really does take a lot less courage, i guess we could say, to make that first move to step out of the comfort zone, because it allows you to be more focused on the journey. You're aware that the scary things, the uncomfortable things, that's just your brain. It's just trying to keep you there Instead, understand that that'll change along the way and get excited for it. Know that the more we do the things we know we need to do, the less our brain's gonna fight us and the more it's going to get excited and want to do that again. Thank goodness for our brain's addiction to dopamine, right.

Tessa Spisak: 22:16

But three of this list, it's learning where you should and want to prioritize Because, as I've mentioned before, being in the comfort zone is not a bad thing and it's not always detrimental. And, like I said, you can have different comfort zones and different parts of your life. Like, maybe you are already in the perfect, perfect comfort zone when it comes to your physical health. You are in the groove of your workouts, you love it, your body feels good, it responds, everything is great and you don't wanna push further because you're already perfect. Okay, then stay in your comfort zone there. But, as we talked about before in our example of the person who created their dream family, but now that creative side of their brain, it's itching, it really needs to break out more.

Tessa Spisak: 23:11

So, having the courage to go, create that painting that you want to sell, or choreograph the dance, start the podcast, write the book, whatever that is having the courage to do that and prioritizing it's my creative side. I don't need to adjust these other pieces. I'm fine where I am, but this is where I feel it in my body. Here's what I need to do. And my last one not glamorous, i know it, guys, but please, this is one that everyone knows, but the one that not everybody does. So remember, put this in your brain It is okay to take small steps, to take sideways, adjacent methodical steps, as well as the really big, bold ones. Right, they all count, even if it's just a simple thought change, if it is a five minute something.

Tessa Spisak: 24:06

Leaving the comfort zone does not mean recklessly throwing caution to the wind, right, but it just means choosing to grow, choosing to actively put the things that you desire where they should be in the forefront, and choosing to grow in that direction. And just by choosing to grow somewhere, i promise it doesn't mean that any other area of your life is going to suffer. I really believe it's actually the opposite that the more we feed into us and our potential when we grow in one area, really we grow in others. We take that knowledge, we take that confidence and everything that we learned along the way and that proof to ourselves and to our brains that we can go on this journey and we can do it real nicely. We can definitely get exactly where we want to go with this, even when it's scary, it's okay, and I want to leave you with two quotes to think on this week.

Tessa Spisak: 25:07

The first is by Alex Honold, where he says my comfort zone is like a little bubble around me. I pushed it in different directions and made it bigger and bigger until these objectives that seemed totally crazy eventually fall within the realm of possible. And lastly, this one is my absolute favorite. You know you have calibrated life when most of what you fear has the titillating prospect of adventure. But all right, my loves, that's where I'll leave us today. I want to thank you so much for joining in on this conversation with me, and each week, every Monday, we're going to be posting a new episode, going a little bit deeper into the conversation, of what you can do to train your brain on purpose to really allow for the lifestyle that you want to live. Until next time, my loves. In the meantime, here's to your health and your happiness.