It's Everyday with John and Jay

Episode 195: Neighbors, Please Don’t Puke In My Yard!!

• John and Jay • Season 2 • Episode 195

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A quiet Sunday turned into something else entirely. We kick things off with the Big Ten pulse check—Ohio State’s defense looks nasty, disciplined, and deceptively complex, while Michigan’s power run game still feels one note against an elite unit. Indiana’s surprising charge raises a real question: are we watching a true new contender or a hot streak built on timing and grit? We dig into coaching impact, road-game confidence, and the thin margin between swagger and a trap.

Then the night flips. A college party swells behind the house, cars creep onto the lawn, and a sick-to-your-stomach moment breaks out as the crowd surges into the yard. What follows is a case study in boundaries and tone: we ask, we wait, we de-escalate, and when it spikes again, we make the call. No theatrics, no heroics—just calm language, cool officers, and the party dissolving back to its side of the alley. It’s part funny, part frustrating, and fully real life.

We also take you on the road to a Dayton-area wedding where the dance floor never cools, late-night tracks get spicy, and the bride’s joy becomes the best kind of chaos. In the quieter moments, we play with AI that turns our photos into Simpsons and Family Guy art—nostalgia in a click, proof that small creative toys can brighten a long day. And because comfort culture never sleeps, we drift into movies (Torque’s underrated soundtrack and stunts, Depp’s moody Sweeney Todd and Dark Shadows) and the most passionate debate of all: cereals. From Cinnamon Toast Crunch to the off-brand boxes you swear existed, we chase memories down every aisle.

There’s a final nudge on health and habits—less salt, more water, and a reminder that a second chance deserves a better routine. If you’re here for sports, stories, tech toys, or just a laugh at midnight mayhem, you’ll feel at home. If this ride hits, follow the show, share it with a friend, and drop us your wildest neighbor story or your Big Ten power ranking in the comments. We’re listening.

Send us a text message and let us know how awesome we are! (Click the link)!

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'Beavis and Butt-head' Cover art created by Joe Crawford

SPEAKER_03:

It's not your day. It's not my day. This is our day. And it's every day with John and Jay. You like racy shit? You like problems going on? You like sexual misconduct? You're in the right fucking place. Listen up, you fucking freaks. It is time to get the show on the road. We're ready to hit this episode of It's Every Day with Jonathan and Jay. Let's rock.

SPEAKER_06:

Welcome, welcome, welcome once again. We are here every single week.

SPEAKER_05:

Sundays.

SPEAKER_06:

Slash Sunday. But this is Monday. And we're yeah, we're we're glad you're here. Long weekend.

SPEAKER_05:

A very long fucking week.

SPEAKER_06:

Every day. This is every day with y'all today, but we're gonna talk about specifically right off the rip the weekend.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, let's do a weekend recap.

SPEAKER_06:

Recap.

SPEAKER_05:

Ohio State won another one.

SPEAKER_06:

That's right. It gets bye week.

SPEAKER_05:

The ever pesky bye week. Bring 'em young. Bring 'em young aniversity. Bring 'em young.

SPEAKER_06:

Bring 'em young. That there was actually a porno called Bring Em Young.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh, I didn't really watch a whole lot of college football this weekend. I watched some of the Michigan, Michigan State game.

SPEAKER_05:

Uh wow, the start of that game kind of told you how that was gonna go. When they're when the fucking dude fumbled the fucking ball. Oh, I was just like, okay, guys, what are you doing, man? I was pulling for Michigan State.

SPEAKER_06:

It's crazy that I watched Michigan all year. They look so mid as fuck. And it's just like, you know, I'm not falling into this trap because every time I fall into this trap, we lose. And I hope the Ohio State isn't falling because I'm just watching Michigan. I'm like, man, these guys are they got a good running game, but it's like they're they're really one-dimensional.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, but they haven't went against the defense like fucking Ohio State.

SPEAKER_06:

I just look at Michigan, I'm like, you know what the difference is though?

SPEAKER_05:

I'm gonna say this the difference for it. The difference between last year and this year, Patricia's not gonna let that happen. Patricia's not gonna let them fucking.

SPEAKER_06:

I think if you stop Michigan's run game, they will they will crumble like a house of cards. And USC gave you the blueprint for that.

SPEAKER_05:

So And I think you're not gonna have to.

SPEAKER_06:

I think Ohio State's a better team than USC and Oklahoma. So I mean, I don't know. I'm not falling for this trap because we all know what happens. So I I I just hope Ohio State does it take it lightly or does it take them lightly? Because I mean it's or you'll lose. And it's at and it's at Michigan this year. So it's that equation too makes it very unpredictable.

SPEAKER_05:

But but we we are not. I I'm telling you what, Ohio State is somebody that can deliver going to other stadiums. They can deliver, it's not a problem.

SPEAKER_06:

See, like um and Ryan Day really does deliver in big games now. I mean, like, there was always this mantra that he could have delivered, but man, he's really turned that that around. Patricia, I'm telling you what, man.

SPEAKER_05:

My I'm gonna tell you what Heisman Trophy winner, Patricia.

SPEAKER_06:

I'm gonna say like coach of the year. He should get coach of the year. There is an assistant coach of the year that should get that. There is such a coach.

SPEAKER_05:

I know we're Ohio State fan, a little bit of bias or whatever else, but but look, you you can't argue with the facts. Taking an Ohio State defense that has lost most of its players, half of at least defenders losing it last year and coming in with this crew and making them to where they're the number one, number one fucking defense in the country.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, I don't remember the last amazing. I don't remember the last time I've seen a dominant Ohio State defense. This maybe during like the Laurenitis years. Is that does that sound like during that era? Yeah, so all those Ohio State defenses back then were really good. But it this this is this kind of reminds me of them. Like they don't they tackle well, their schemes are really well done, they they disguise their their coverages really well. I mean, Matt Patricia, he's a super bowl-winning assistant, man. He this dude, this dude used to like, you know, you know, prep for Aaron Rodgers and people like that, and shit like that. So it's like, you know, that's it was a great hire, and you know, people were really a lot of Ohio State fans, you know, hindsight's 2020, but a lot of them were kind of doom and gloomin' it because yeah, skeptical.

SPEAKER_05:

Literally, we lost the other guy. He was he was pretty good too, but you know, you never know, like changing staff, you never know what you're gonna do. Yeah, it's kind of like if you go to work and they let they let and they let you go, they let you go and they try to hire somebody else in.

SPEAKER_06:

You don't know. Pet states get lit the fuck up by like Iowa. What? What that's crazy. So I mean, shit happens.

SPEAKER_05:

We don't Iowa didn't look that bad this year either.

SPEAKER_06:

Iowa hasn't looked there's a lot of like like I think the Big Ten in general is from top to bottom is good, but like, is there really maybe three great teams this year? Like, look at Indiana lighting the fuckers up, dude. Dude, it's gonna be crazy to see Ohio State, Indiana, and the Big Ten championship.

SPEAKER_05:

See, I was no joke, I was so when I DJ'd this weekend, I DJed down towards Dayton and Salina, Ohio, and the photographer and the wedding coordinator, which I'm gonna say right off the rip, amazing, good people, fucking all amazing. They're just great people. They're from Fort Wayne. Fort Wayne's like an hour away from where I was.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05:

So I'm like, damn, dude, you're in Indiana and you're closer than me. I gotta go all the way up north, man. Fucking two hours away.

SPEAKER_06:

Fort Wayne, that's crazy because the like the Big Ten title game is in Indianapolis, which is I think is only like a skip and a jump from Bloomington. So that will be interesting. I I don't know if I'm ready for a world where Indiana is a national power. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. But you know what? I mean, I guess it's good. I love seeing it. It's a good, it's a good story. It's a brown story. Perennial perennial bottom feeder Indiana. I mean, I I don't like Kirk Zignetti, but and I said this last week, but he's done a terrific job uh with that program.

SPEAKER_05:

And I could see him getting coach of the year.

SPEAKER_06:

It's a very good possibility.

SPEAKER_05:

I like I would give it to him right now. I would too. I'm gonna tell you it was straight up. Like, I was talking to the uh the coordinator, and I said, You a Hoosier fan? She's like, She's like, No, my dad is like Purdue. She's like, My dad is. I said, Oh well. I said, dude, like they're number two in the fucking country right now. And to be able to be a Hoosier fan and be like, We are this close, you know, like what sucks is if you go all that way and then you end up walking away with nothing would really suck, which is how I felt being an Indians fan for the longest fucking time, dude.

SPEAKER_06:

So I mean, yeah, let's not open that wound up.

SPEAKER_05:

Like when we went to see him play the Cubs and we were up in fucking Jacobsfield at the time. That was cool though.

SPEAKER_06:

I it was awesome being there. They were leading for a while too in that game. I was like, oh holy shit, we're gonna witness the first Indians World Series title since 1948 or whatever. And I'm like then the Cubs kind of took the lead, and I'm like, shit. But yeah, god damn, I can't believe they should have won that. But anyway, I'm not we're not getting into that. But uh in other news, so last night was fucking nuts.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, dude. I've been waiting for this.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh, okay. So I'm just I'm it's like 11 o'clock. I'm watching the like the aforementioned Michigan, Michigan State game, and I'm like falling asleep in my chair. And up to you know, it's like 11 o'clock. I'm old, so I don't stay up that long. So Carrie comes in and goes, there's there's like a big party back there, and there's people parked in her yard. There's like a bunch of cars parked in her yard. I'm like, what? Fuck. Normally I would like listen, I wouldn't give a shit, but come on, that's that's you can't do that. So I went back there, I got my cloak, I got my socks and shoes off, put on my coat, went back there. There's like four or three cars parked in my yard over here. And I'm like, what the fuck? So I went around the corner and there's a huge contingency of kids in that, you know, that apartment, like right here, not like back here, this house, but the this duplex right here, huge contingency. I say about 40 kids. College kids are just partying, and and um, which I don't give a shit about. But I go and I I I was gonna go to that group of kids and say, hey, move the but I I turn around and there's a huge group of girls in my yard, and one girl is on her hands and knees yakking her braids out at the idol. I I thought it was fucking funny. I go, I scared the shit out of them. I go, I go, excuse me. They're like, bah like which made me laugh again. I go, rhymes with grape. Uh grape ape tape. Tape. So I go, um ladies, I go, this is private property. Uh are you guys, do you guys own these vehicles here? They're like, oh, this one's mine, but I don't know who this is. And I'm like, well, whoever these vehicles are, they they need to go as this private property. They're like, oh, okay, okay, we're really sorry, we're really sorry. Well, we'll get so they weren't bad. Yeah, they weren't bad looking, I'll tell you that. So I'm sitting, I'm staying, I'm I go, I'm gonna stand here, I'm gonna wait till you guys move, you know. And I didn't say nothing. Like, one of the kids came over to me and was like, really, I kind of respected this a little bit. I don't like the fact that kids think my my yard's a free parking spot, but it it ha it's not the first time this has happened, and it won't be the last. But I one of the kids came off to me and like really went out of his way to like make it right or smooth it over, and he's like, listen, listen, I just want to apologize apologize. Like they, you know, we didn't mean to, blah, blah, blah. He was like, really genuinely sorry. Oh, that's cool. And I'm like, okay, I respect a little hope for the youth. He goes, he goes, We didn't mean any disrespect, we didn't mean to disrespect your property. We just, you know, we just we thought they always think it's an open lot.

SPEAKER_05:

They think my yard is you should have played uh planes, trains on that one.

SPEAKER_07:

Get out of here! Get out of here! Get them out of there.

SPEAKER_06:

Well, you wait, you would set an asshole. Yeah, it's like so this this so they they like they they hauled the one girl. She she kind of got her bearings, then they left. They they moved the car. Then this huge, he looked like a football player, big, huge fucking dude. He yeah, he comes up to me, he goes, Hey man, I'm really sorry I didn't mean to park in your yard. I go, It's cool, bro. He goes, I'm moving it. I go, it's fine, that's cool.

SPEAKER_05:

I feel I'll uh it's cool. If you send one of those chicks over to my house, you guys can park here anytime you want.

SPEAKER_06:

So they moved it promptly, and I was actually really impressed by that, but that doesn't that's not where the story ends. This is not where the story ends, though. So I thought that was the end of it, but the party got really out of control. Like more people started showing up, more people started showing up, and I'm like watching this. So I go outside on my front porch, and like I just sat like right here, looking out this way. Just kind of just I'm just on my phone, I'm just watching it, you know. I'm just kind of just taking it, you know, just it's it's it's kind of entertaining, just but the party gets out of hand, and there was some sort of like disagreement or fight. All of a sudden, the entire party shifts from there into my fucking yard. All 50, there's like 60 kids in my yard, and they're like, get that motherfucker, get up. No, no, no, get them back, get up back. I'm just like, um, what the fuck's going on here? So I'm like, uh I just stood on my porch. I go, all right, I I gotta call the cops. I can't. I'm not going down there, number one, because I ain't no way I'm gonna go down into there. He should have just pulled a gun out. And you get in trouble for discharging in a city legitimate weapon. So I I don't want to listen, I never want to be that guy. I've seen movies, okay? I don't want to be the title.

SPEAKER_05:

Be Lieutenant Harris, dude. Get that blowhorn, move it, move it, move it.

SPEAKER_06:

Today, hucks, today.

SPEAKER_04:

Come on.

SPEAKER_06:

So it's or get like a like a z like a catalog.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah!

SPEAKER_05:

You know what you do? Get a fake red and blue lights to put on your porch, and then a siren, yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

So it just flashes out in front, and they'll sign it up. But it was kind of funny. I witnessed this in real time. I witnessed just the whole just the whole I'm I'm standing on my porch and I went, I'm standing up there.

SPEAKER_05:

How can you see them at night though, man? It'd be dark as fuck.

SPEAKER_06:

Well, I mean, like I saw, I don't know. I was the whole party just just shining.

SPEAKER_05:

Shining a flashlight on them.

SPEAKER_06:

Well, they all had flight, a lot of them had flashlights on too. And they were recording the the front the fracas. Oh, yeah, the fucking on their phones, on their phones. So I could see like what was going on. Bum fights. It was so it was it was so it was loud, and it's just kids are screaming at each other, and I'm just like, all right, I got it. I don't want to be that guy, but I call the police. So it's like you narc. I had to. So I go, Hey, my name's blah blah blah. I live at whatever address. I go, I have a large gaggle of college kids in my yard. I have a royal ri this is how I put it. I go, I got kind of a royal rubble going on in my yard right now of a party that's kind of spilling into my property, and I would like them to be removed. I like them to go. And as soon as I said that, they it they just went back. They just all walked back. Either either they saw me on the phone or they it calmed down and they went back. I go, well, okay, well, they're they're going back to they're she goes, can you tell me what property? Like, do you tell me what street the party's on? I go, well, it's a it's a duplex on Franklin Street. They live right behind me. They're like, she goes, Oh, okay, okay, yeah, we've had a complaints about that party. And I go, Yeah, I mean listen, I don't care if they party and have fun, but I just don't, I just don't want to a royal, I just don't want to rumble. You're like Seth Rogan and neighbors, dude. Dude, I've seen dude. So the c so I'm sitting on my porch, the cops come to my house and they come up and talk to me. And they're like, um yell Rodney King and shit. I go, fuck you, pigs. No, I fuck you pigs. All caps are all cops are bastards. No, I know my rights. I know my rights.

SPEAKER_05:

We're not arresting you. We just wanted to ask you.

SPEAKER_06:

No, they came up, they came up to my steps, and I went down there and I was like, hello gentlemen. You have a fake car door made out of cardboard and you roll the window up on it, dude. I go, I'm a sovereign citizen. I know my rights, it's interstate travel, I don't need a license. Just a fake card. Can't you fake cards rolling down the window? It's like, can I help you, sir? You know how fast you were going. No, they they were really cool. They come up to me, they just wanted like information. They're like, Did they park in your yard? I go, they did, but let me just tell you this that they were actually really courteous. I asked them to move it and they did it right away. They're really nice about it. I don't I don't I don't care about the party and stuff, that's cool, but I just don't want them encroaching on into my property. That's that's I don't think that's an unreasonable request. Like if they stay on that side of the alley, it's fine. I don't I just don't want them like I and I sort of said the same thing. I go, I just don't want a royal rumble in my yard. And they they thought it was funny, and they're like, Yeah, it's it's like, yeah, we're uh yeah, we've been talking to her. We told them to kind of watch it and stuff. So I'm like, okay, that's fine. It's cool that they were kind of being cool about it. And that party went on to like three in the morning, dude. Oh, fuck yeah, yeah, it would all dude. It would uh so I so I kept kind of checking in on it. I kept like kind of walk walking on the porch, just kind of peeking my head around. Should just get a camera for out back, dude. That's what I'm gonna have to do because you know. So I thought about it, I go, you know, it's weird that they're partying back there, but then that that makes sense because they tore down all these fucking houses down here, and that's where they used to party is these houses down here, so now they have like really nowhere to go, and now they're kind of coming over here, and they're like kind of encroaching into like my area, which it's what it's it is what it is, but it's kind it comes with the territory of living here. The cops were strippers, by the way. Damn, so I knew it was funny that all he had on was a G string, and it's you look like the dude from Reno 91. It was just like that. I go, gee, I don't know if these are Tiffin cops or not, but you know Yeah, it says fun police on the badge. This badge was made of plastic, so I didn't know if it was. I go, I knew that was weird, but I just went with it.

SPEAKER_05:

He's like, You're under arrest for being too sexy, sugar. I'll just read some sexy sugar. Is that from Austin Powers? No, I took I took that from um uh Foxy Cleopatra. What is that? That um happy time murders. Oh little rumble in the Bronx thing here. So I'm playing my own polka music right now. So they they had that music going.

SPEAKER_06:

So yeah, that's like I was like, holy shit, I got a fucking fight in my yard.

SPEAKER_05:

Thought you were just gonna put your hat on backwards and go over there and pretend you're a college kid. Hey, it's all boomies.

SPEAKER_06:

Can I have one of them uh fancy spritzers that you kids are all a rage about? Can we hear the newest rap album? I wanna make those ass cla Who's little dookie? I want to see those cheeks clap. That'd be real skibbity. That would be real skibbity 6'7. 6'7, yes, no, no, no, 6'7. What the fuck is 6'7?

SPEAKER_05:

I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_06:

I've heard that a couple times. It's it means nothing, it's just some random made up bullshit that Jen Alpha kids have made up. It's just braid rot, jet alpha shit. 6'7. South Park made a whole episode about it. It was fucking funny, by the way. 6'7. So it's just it's just braid jet alpha braid rot, dude.

SPEAKER_05:

I've I didn't show you. Okay, so um, I ended up going down to dating the DJ this weekend, which is fucking long. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_06:

Dude, that's a long way from your territory if you it is.

SPEAKER_05:

I was so stoked to be down there and I killed it. I nailed this wedding.

SPEAKER_06:

But did they do they make it lucrative for you to go all the way down? Oh, yeah, they paid extra. Oh, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_05:

They paid extra. That's what she was like. Are you sure you want to come down here? I was like, Yeah, you paid me, man. Um, let me see if I can find so I did um oh there we go. I did Beavis and Butthead of me and Dan, dude, when he was sitting there.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05:

Where did you get those? Dude, Chat GPT, man. Look, here's Danny sitting at beer barrel, dude.

SPEAKER_06:

Those like Simpsons, man. I love it.

SPEAKER_05:

Dude, isn't it awesome? Okay, so here, hold on, I'm gonna take a picture of John. We're gonna do Chat GPT right now, dude. I'm gonna fucking cool. Awesome. Dude, because it'll turn everything in the background for the Simpsons, too. Alright, so I'm gonna go. Dude, I love it, dude. I love Chad GPT. I've been using it.

SPEAKER_06:

Do you pay for it or do you just use the three?

SPEAKER_05:

But you only you only get like two or three. Right.

SPEAKER_06:

So you could pay for it and you could get unlimited, right?

SPEAKER_05:

So what cartoon do you want to be like?

SPEAKER_06:

Uh Family Guy. They got Family Guy.

SPEAKER_05:

I've done Bob's Burgers, I've done Family Guy, King of the Hill, be some bad. Simpsons, Simpsons is my favorite though.

SPEAKER_06:

You just say it, take this picture, make it look like a Simpsons character, is that all you do? Or is there a prompt particular prompt you use to do it?

SPEAKER_05:

No, uh yeah, that's what you use. Like, okay, so right here just waiting for it to fucking It takes a couple minutes, so I will say it's not anything.

SPEAKER_06:

I think if you pay for it, it actually renders really fast. If it renders faster, I think too.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh yeah, probably. I think I think we're gonna pay for it for like a half of the things You're asking too many questions, chat GPT.

SPEAKER_06:

I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

SPEAKER_00:

You son of a bitch.

SPEAKER_05:

Alright, so it's working on it.

SPEAKER_06:

Okay, so we'll we'll we'll revisit that here in a second.

SPEAKER_05:

Yes. So it says lots of people are doing it. So anyway, uh DJ Down in Salina, killer food, dude. I actually ate some of the food tonight because I brought some home.

SPEAKER_07:

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Um, they had cheesy potato casserole, homemade potatoes, like had the skins on them and everything, and had sausage in it, and then pulled pork, um, shredded chicken, green beans with like there was so much flavor in this green beans. I've never had them like that. But they had like bits of ham and everything else. Dude, it was just killer. Um I ended up doing a shot with the with the bride. Okay, she called me down. She goes, Come here, come down here, let's do a shot. Um, dude, the bride was super cool. Oh no, no, no. We showed up Friday. Um, they were out to eat when we got there, so we were just setting up and okay. They got back and she goes, Did you guys eat supper yet? I said, No, we didn't eat yet. Um, she goes, Oh, do you want me to pay for your supper when you leave? I said, No, you don't gotta pay for my fucking supper. I was like, Hell yeah, fuck yeah. I said, Nah, but you paid me to be here. I'm here. I said, We've got a hotel room, so we'll just stay there. And we're only five minutes away from our hotel room. So we did that. I'd be like, Fuck that. Like, yeah, what you got? Nah, dude, they were super cool, man.

SPEAKER_06:

I mean, that's nice they offered.

SPEAKER_05:

They were really good people. The groom was so chill and laid back, he's like, whatever. She, dude, she was odd on the floor, and I even made a point because she she she apologized for getting sloshy drunk. She goes, I am so sorry for getting so drunk.

SPEAKER_04:

I said, It's your wedding day. What joy? Why the hell are you?

SPEAKER_05:

I said it was funny, it was funny because she was uh she was pulling people on the floor in their chairs and then grinding on them, dude. It was funny as well, dude. That's fucking awesome. Yeah, and then I'm not kidding. I've never felt so uncomfortable in my life. There's probably a six or seven-year-old little girl there. Six. Sorry, yeah. There it is again. Sorry for six or seven year old year old little girl that was twerking better than most fucking that's weird. Than most women that I know.

SPEAKER_06:

That's kind of harrowing to be to be honest with you.

SPEAKER_05:

Dude, this is awesome, dude. Hold on, let me say, come on, man. Show up. Look how dude, it's got me in a fucking s. I look like Harry from fucking and your hat's on forward, dude. In the picture. And this is back in the day with blank and. So it got and it didn't get J. It makes me look really plump.

SPEAKER_06:

I think it's the way I'm sitting in the chair.

SPEAKER_05:

It's a family guy, too.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, that's true. It's gonna over-exaggerate my features.

SPEAKER_05:

I should see, I should do Simpsons character style. Let's see if we can do that. So I downloaded that one. Um no, I want to do another one, so but anyway. Um, me into a classic Simpsons. But um, she was super cool, she was so appreciative. Um, we ended up getting out of there pretty quick. I mean, with Danny's help, it really helped.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Um it was it was it was a lot of fun. It was because she was really cool about stuff. She was like, Yeah, I don't care. Play explicit stuff, I don't care. So no joke, at the end of the night, dude, I was playing nasty shit.

SPEAKER_06:

Fucking just the raunchiest shit ever.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

And we'll just put that up photos. Let's pop you back on here. Let's do a Simpsons. Come on, load up. You just did it, bitch. There we go. You do as I say. You do as I say, my folk. All right, dude, getting started. It's gonna be awesome. I I love it, it's a lot of fun. Um me, that's what my my Facebook profile picture is. Me, I took a picture. I took a picture of my me and I was like family guy, but it never gets a chin strap, always gives me a fucking goatee.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh, yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, never does it like legit. Um, but dude, I don't know. I'm I'm addicted to it. Um, I've done like of like our metal covers, metal album covers, I'll do shit like that. Yeah, so it's just really cool.

SPEAKER_06:

Well, we're gonna take a little brickerini and uh you're gonna it's Oktoberfest, everybody. It's uh it's October. And if you have enjoyed it uh a nice pint at Oktoberfest, uh we got a a uh yeah, a little a little word from if you want to travel um across the city, yeah. You can possibly uh with their you know go over uh you can learn a little history too, as you will.

SPEAKER_05:

From our pals from Milestream.

SPEAKER_06:

From Outfitness. So you're gonna enjoy that, and we'll be right back.

SPEAKER_03:

Guten Tag, all you German Freiline people. Welcome to Outfit Oktoberfest.

SPEAKER_05:

Welcome! Don't forget to grab a numbers, but don't worry, you don't have to put them on your t-shirts or nothing. They don't mean nothing. It's just a raffle. Don't forget if you have to use the restaurants on how to use one of our portage updates updates. You can always drop what the right is in there. Also, in what some of our tents we do have games called the KDs. Let's games when you three ladder and you gotta put out the jewels. Oh, 35 feet! Another one is a ring toss. That's just it, a ring toss. And if you get hungry, don't forget to check out some of our cheesy delicious auto-card fries.

SPEAKER_01:

Don't forget to check out our plastics!

SPEAKER_05:

They're made in a fryer, not in the oven, by people. Also, don't forget to get your faces painted. Today we have the four L's being painted on top people's faces. Everybody says it looks like these plastic stars, but it does not. It is four L's arranged in a way that looks surprisingly awesome on your face. The Fiora approved! And if you need to wash your hands, don't worry, use the sanitizer in areas to run outside the dog shillers.

SPEAKER_04:

Come to Oktoberfest!

SPEAKER_10:

Yo so. Welcome back to the Best Freaking Podcast! It's every day with Johnny J, baby! Listen, you don't keep listening, I'm coming over your house and look at your wife's asshole. Sticking my tongue up on your dirt button, you got that motherfucker checking out.

SPEAKER_05:

So anyway, dude, all right, while we're getting started, I've got a song for us to check out.

SPEAKER_00:

Ooh, songs. We don't like songs.

SPEAKER_05:

Alright, the song is called Um Garbage Can by We Are the Flesh.

SPEAKER_06:

A song's interesting. Garbage Kid, we are the flesh.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, that sounds gross, alright. The the fucking lyrics are awesome. The one that I screenshot is just a cum stain on the couch. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04:

Damn. Dude, I love it, man.

SPEAKER_07:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05:

I love that, dude. Dude, it turned it better. Dude, I love the system got the S Racer, dude. It says, um, you even got our back in the day podcast behind you, and then it got Ja. I didn't get the Y though. I think there's a shine on it. But back in the day with John and Ja.

SPEAKER_07:

Holy shit, dude. That's fucking awesome.

SPEAKER_05:

Isn't that dude? I want to save it. I like that one. That's a good one. I'm gonna send you both of them though. Okay. Dude, that one looks a lot more like you. Simpsons kills it, dude. Simpsons got that shit nailed. Yeah, I love, dude. That's sick. Nostor, Noster. Oh, dude, I was watching. So, um, God, what fucking movie did I watch earlier today? I've been addicted to watching Sweeney Todd a lot lately. I love Sweeney Todd, man. I'm a huge fan. Um, you you watched that, haven't you?

SPEAKER_09:

Yeah, oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Dude, I fucking love that movie. But then I watched God, what the fuck other movie did I watch where I was like, dude, it this is kind of shitty, but it was like good. God damn it. Um, I ended up watching I well, I was watching Fanboys before I came over. It's a good movie, too. Yeah, I love fanboys, dude, but god damn it. I can't remember the fucking other movie that I was just like, man, it's kind of shitty, but it's fucking good.

SPEAKER_06:

Like it's a horror movie, or is it like a normal movie?

SPEAKER_05:

I have it in my fucking let me go to my prime video.

SPEAKER_00:

No, that's my diet di. Let's go to mop.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, I went to the haunted hydro this weekend too.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, Torque.

SPEAKER_06:

Torque.

SPEAKER_05:

Torque is what I did. Okay, so I don't know if you've ever seen Torque. Is it a it's a motorcycle movie?

SPEAKER_06:

Okay, I'll say it's motorcycle.

SPEAKER_05:

And I love the one-liners, they have like these small one-liners that are funny as shit. So Ice Cube's in it as as like not a bad guy, but he's kind of in the middle, and then there's a good guy, which is fucking dude with the last name of Ford, and then there's the bad guy. So if you watched Father, which I love this in Fast and Furious, you know the guy that has a problem with Paul Walker, the whole movie that dude did fucking Dom's Buddy, right? He is the bad guy in this, and Jamie Presley's in it too. Gothic looking Jamie Presley.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh, dude has to be hot.

SPEAKER_05:

Sexy biker fucking Jamie Presley.

SPEAKER_06:

God has to be hot as fuck.

SPEAKER_05:

So, anyway, there's a part where Ford walks away and he's you know talking to this girl that he's got in love interest. He's walking away from her and he goes, I live my life a quarter mile at a time. And she goes, That is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard. That was one part, and it's funny because one of the fast and furious guys is the bad guy. Yeah, then Ice Cube. One part of the movie I laugh my ass off. These police officers stop and he pulls up and he's trying to see, you know, like get past him and stuff, and he goes, Fuck the police.

SPEAKER_06:

Ah he said that to him, dude. Which was I was like, dude, that is awesome.

SPEAKER_05:

If you get a chance, let's check out the the trailer and see what you think, dude. Because you get probably get to see Jamie Presley. God, she's so fucking hot. She's got like she didn't have the long hair like she usually does, but it's got that black with the like blonde strips in it. Yeah, she's sexy as fuck. Uh this movie is a hidden job. A lot of people like biker boys, dude. I'm I'm a fan of this movie. 200 miles an hour.

SPEAKER_02:

There's little time to think. Less time to do. No time to stop.

SPEAKER_05:

So it's a 2004 movie.

SPEAKER_02:

That's a buddy junior. Not small right now.

SPEAKER_03:

Don't run.

SPEAKER_02:

I took off. So you got to jump into our way to clear it tonight.

SPEAKER_07:

Everywhere you go, everything turns to house.

SPEAKER_06:

I bet the soundtrack is really good for this. It is. I bet the soundtrack is like Found some Furious. Yeah, I bet the soundtrack's really good for this. That's the one takeaway I got from this. It was just the soundtrack. Sounds really good.

SPEAKER_05:

I love that. I love it, but it's probably because I've been watching it since it came out, so it's another one of those. Um, let me see. There you go, dude.

SPEAKER_00:

Damn. I approve.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, she's fucking smokes her, dude. She's single.

SPEAKER_06:

Who is it? Uh Jamie Presley. Oh, really? No.

SPEAKER_05:

I like her in Dead or Alive too, man. She's so fucking hot in dead or alive. I've seen almost all of her fucking movies, dude. Like Jamie Presley's.

SPEAKER_06:

We can still have sex. We can have sex again. We have sex again. I'm not your sister. You're my sister. Joe, do you find a sexy? Maybe it'd be better if we went back to uh if you thought I was your sister. Yeah, she's so funny. I'm not some kind of perv.

SPEAKER_05:

One I was like kind of uh liking today. And I watched um, what is that called? Um Dark Shadows with Johnny Depp. I watched that today as well.

SPEAKER_06:

Never seen it, I don't think.

SPEAKER_05:

It's where he's like a vampire, but her name is Ava Green. Dude, she is so fucking hot, dude. Dang, yeah, she's so fucking sexy in this movie. Um, but this is the dark, this is dark shadows, that's what it looks like, dude. It's a it's a it's a Tim Burn movie. I've heard of it.

SPEAKER_06:

I've never seen it though.

SPEAKER_05:

It's actually really good. I never watched it until like like I mean I've watched it before, but I've never like sat down and really paid attention till today. Okay. Um, but it's really good. It's about like okay, so Johnny Depp. It's almost like it almost reminds me of Sweeney Todd a little bit, dude. Because Johnny Depp is like this guy in love with this woman, and the the girl that I just showed you is a witch. She puts a spell on the woman to kill herself, and then she puts a spell on Johnny Depp to where he'll live forever. Like he'll have to live with the torment of this woman dying. So she kills herself. Johnny Depp follows her and tries to die as well, but he ends up coming back. Okay, and then she gets the townspeople to fucking lock him in a box and shit for 200 years, and he comes back, and his family like living with this his family, and it has Michelle Pfeiffer in it, um, Chloe Grace Moretz, um definitely a decent cast in it. Um, Helena Bomb Bottom Carter, as usual. It just looks really silly. It just it is really good, dude. It is. I'm gonna say straight up, I it's not the best Johnny Depp movie, okay.

SPEAKER_06:

But I think it's uh it's it just looks silly to me, so I never really watched it.

SPEAKER_05:

So and then so what he does is he this housekeeper comes in and it looks just like his wife that he was gonna marry or whatever. So he falls in love with this girl, and the witch wants to be with him, and it's almost it does remind me of Sweeney Todd with uh with that fucking uh meat pies that chick that had to meat pies wanting to fucking be with Johnny Depp, and then not telling him that his wife was alive and shit, you know. Kind of reminds me of that. A very kind of a similar plot there. So but John's sending nudes right now.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, I have no no nudes, no nudes, no nudes.

SPEAKER_05:

You know what I was telling somebody? Open up a ramen restaurant okay and call it send nudes. What send nudes, but it's n-o-o-d s. Oh, like noodles, yeah. Send nudes.

SPEAKER_06:

Dude, that's fucking clever. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, man. I want to, I always wanted to go to like an authentic Robin like restaurant.

SPEAKER_05:

There's one in Sandusky. I yeah, I see it.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

I don't know if I don't know if I want to go to a ramen restaurant because I I don't know how much I would want to pay. Man, I'll be like, yeah, I can get this for a dollar something. It just has more soda in it.

SPEAKER_06:

I think it's a little a little bit more robust, if you will, than just the fucking robin you get at the at a store. I think they put like stir with their dick, yeah. Maybe no, they put like ham and they put like or they put like different proteins in it.

SPEAKER_05:

And I think with the dick.

SPEAKER_06:

They yeah. Can I get mine San's protein, please? Sans protein? I don't want any extras, please.

SPEAKER_05:

But no, yeah, I was telling Sarah about that because we oh like um Friday when we went to look at the the location, which I was telling John earlier. Um that went really well. It was um, I'm just hoping that the city of Finley is like okay us moving downtown. Once they okay it, we can move forward with the um the rental, the lease process and be able to pay them and get that shit. I cannot wait. I've never been so excited to throw thousands at somebody.

SPEAKER_06:

I just really money. I'm so excited to do it.

SPEAKER_05:

I've got my storage unit full as shit. I'm not kidding, it's all the way to the door, dude. Like, um, here I'll show I'll show John real quick. Holy fuck, dude. Um, because I took that stuff over there. So let me see here.

SPEAKER_06:

Dude, you filled that up pretty fucking fast.

SPEAKER_05:

That's all them, but I got my Mustang back in my garage.

SPEAKER_06:

So well, yeah, that's all yeah, that's good though.

SPEAKER_05:

But I don't have any more room and I got shit in my house, it's still sitting in my dining room. So I'm like, fuck, I'm just gonna have to sit here until I open. Um but yeah, hopefully they get back to you like soon on that. I'm gonna be texting her tomorrow. If I don't hear from her by noon, I'm gonna text her and be like, hey, what's up? What's going on? She's been really amazing. Um, her name is Brittany Laz Lasley. I think it's Laslie. Okay, but she's phenomenal.

SPEAKER_06:

If you need a realtor in Finley, that's good that like just this is this has been a little bit more better than the last.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, dude, I'm I hate it when okay, and I was thinking about it because the last, like I said, I don't know if I said it on the podcast or not, but the last realtor, dude, it was like pulling teeth trying to get fucking answers out of the guy, and then he'd be like, Well, you need to be patient, you expect us to jump and it's like, no, that's not it. You're telling me you're going to do something, and then you don't fucking do it, and that's my problem. I'm waiting for you to respond, and you you're like, Hey, dude, I'll get a hold of you tomorrow.

SPEAKER_06:

Okay, so I wait tomorrow and I don't hear a goddamn word. Yeah, it'd be different if he says, Well, I'll get back to you eventually, or so, or he leaves it open-ended. Then you'd be like, Well, yeah, okay. Well, if he tells you tomorrow, you expect people to be at their word.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, so that's what I like about this with Brittany, is that she's she's been on her word this whole time. That's good, and she's been amazing, dude. I'm so fucking happy with her, dude.

SPEAKER_06:

So I guess those people don't want business in their fucking I just don't understand it, dude. Yeah, I don't know how this all works, but I'm not even gonna pretend to know. But at least you're getting somewhere now, a little bit closer to to opening up and stuff.

SPEAKER_07:

Oh, Paralys Magical Elixir. Go and get some Dixa. Yes, you can.

SPEAKER_06:

What's that from?

SPEAKER_05:

It's from uh Sweeney Two. Oh, that's from Sweet Two.

SPEAKER_06:

Remember when he comes out? I haven't seen that movie, it's so fucking good.

SPEAKER_05:

Dude, Sasha Barron Cohen fucking I bought it, so it's on my prime, dude. I want I probably watched it three times this week now. I love that movie, dude. I it's probably one of my favorite musicals. I love that fucking movie. Um Alan Rickman fucking killed it in that movie, and that little tubby fuck that was from Sleepy Hollow, dude. That dude did a really good job. He's gross, he makes you hate it.

SPEAKER_01:

Alan Rickman. This is Alan Rickman leaving you a message. Dude, don't forget to turn off the toaster.

SPEAKER_05:

Pretty girls, they're just singing about pretty girls. Fucking I love it, dude. I see you, Joanna.

SPEAKER_06:

I didn't watch that movie because I haven't seen it all.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh man, I love it because at the beginning, fucking Johnny Depp's like, and it smells like shit, and it's called London. Like it just talks a whole bunch of shit about London. I love it. I think Helena Bonham Carter's kind of hot in it. I'm not a huge Helena Bonham Carter fan. Like she does well in. I think she's very good in her movies, but I'll like sexy-wise, she's not hot to me.

SPEAKER_06:

Um, she was hot in Willy Wonka.

SPEAKER_05:

What's she in there?

SPEAKER_06:

Charlie Charlie the Chocolate Factory. She was the mom. Wasn't she the mother in Charlie the Chocolate Factory? Oh, yeah, she was, dude. She looked horrible. I know that's why I said that. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05:

The only way you get worse is Alice in Wonderland.

SPEAKER_06:

What about wasn't she in uh well, I don't know if you ever see Las Miserah with uh Sasha Barrett Cohen and her were the innkeepers. Have you ever seen that that movie? The the the the movie adaptation of Las Miserah.

SPEAKER_05:

Nope, I don't watch nothing in English. It is an English.

SPEAKER_06:

Nope, that title tells me no. Fucking uh Russell Crowe sings in this movie too. It's fucking horrible. Uh it also has uh Wolverine in it. He's also in this movie. Oh, Hugh Jackman? Yeah, Hugh Jackman. Who actually he sings a doesn't sing too bad in it, to be honest with you.

SPEAKER_05:

No, I whenever I think of Hugh Jackman, I don't even think of Wolverine, I think a movie 43. Oh, jeez. It's the most obscure thing you can think of. It's my favorite one. They're like, you know, Hugh Jackman. Oh, the dude with the balls on his neck, yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, that guy. Yeah. Yeah, Russell Crowe singing is is comedy in itself.

SPEAKER_05:

That's a good porn spoof, dude. What's that? Fucking do a um like a fucking old Coliseum style porn spoof, and it's called Gladiator.

SPEAKER_06:

Glad he ate glad he ate her? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, I picked up all that right. I was like, glad he ate her. Yeah. Oh my god, dude. Dude, I your your porn spoof names are are out of this world. They're so fucking good. It's just like I hate porn spoofs so much. Like, they're funny, like, they're funny to watch just for the comedy effect, but man, they don't do nothing for me otherwise. But they're hilarious. What about silence of the hams? Silence of the hams. Halloweener.

SPEAKER_05:

Halloween. Fucking uh Hello, Clarice. Hello, Caddies. Go on ahead and gargle that hog.

SPEAKER_06:

I ate her pussy with a side of fava beans.

SPEAKER_01:

And a nice pummeling candy and a nice catty.

SPEAKER_05:

She takes his mask off and he goes down and eats her beef like a motherfucker. Like red wings.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah, I was just thinking it's like and he's got the fucking thing all over his face, dude.

SPEAKER_05:

Takes her meat curtains and puts it on his face. Like cable guy.

SPEAKER_01:

Mr. Lecter, that feels really good. Please stop, Mr. Lecter.

SPEAKER_05:

Jody Foster's not too bad. Dude, Buffalo Bill, like the chicks in the well, and he just jerks off on her. Yeah. He just comes on her from the top.

SPEAKER_06:

She's like, ah! And then he goes, oh. And then she goes, rub it on the skid. Like beat him and eat him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Beat him and eat him. Dude, that fucking Atari game.

SPEAKER_06:

Can't believe that they've made shit like that.

SPEAKER_05:

You better not jerk your hog. I'm gonna jerk my hog.

SPEAKER_06:

Alright, okay, okay. Jeez. Broken record. Broken record. The love of Christ. Bro, for the love of Christ.

SPEAKER_05:

Drops down here.

SPEAKER_06:

August, I don't have this one. Say, what? This guy wants 5200 for me. Plum crazy purple. Plum crazy purple.

SPEAKER_05:

I could get this for 23 years. Yeah, fucking Joe Dur was awesome. Dude, Joe Dir was awesome. Joder was so good. Dude, oh my god.

SPEAKER_06:

Nothing happened. Why does everybody keep safe?

SPEAKER_05:

Nothing happened. Or you can do bone heads instead of cone heads.

SPEAKER_06:

Cone heads, boneheads.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, as to where they have like fucking uh like penis-shaped fucking heads.

SPEAKER_06:

Or it could be you can leave it as cone heads, but they have like like the tits on their heads, yeah. Tit heads go with my father go with my dad.

SPEAKER_05:

Harry's so hairy.

SPEAKER_06:

Harry's so hairy. You might not you might not say anything about this? Yeah, you don't say about this? Damn. Hell I get no respect. Oh shit. Yeah, it's been a long week. I'm so I'm fucking tired.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, dude, I pretty much slept most of the day, and then I'm gonna fucking lazy sundae. Oh my god, man. I got home. We went to uh Carmies for breakfast buffet for my grandpa. And then shit. I gotta go to Walmart after I leave here, so I'm gonna look like a fucking trash bag going into Walmart. Whatever. Yeah, it's all good. I'm probably gonna get I gotta get food for my lunch tomorrow for work. So I'm just gonna get like one of them fucking cold cut subs and shit.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh, I like those.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, they're really good. You just gotta watch which one you get because they're like fucking 800 calories.

SPEAKER_06:

Holy shit, dude.

SPEAKER_05:

They are like even the turkey ones. Holy fuck, that's a lot. Damn. Sucks, dude.

SPEAKER_06:

I used to eat the salads, but I'm like, I don't want to fucking. You know, sometimes those salads are sneaky. Like they they have a sneaky amount of calories sometimes. And especially if you put dressing on it, which I do, because I don't give a fuck. Uh that really adds to it, but yeah, it's it's it's crazy how like anything with cold cuts you would think it'd be good, but just pour water on your salad.

SPEAKER_05:

Just put water on you but put water on that shit. Damn. Damn.

SPEAKER_04:

Cereal, no milk.

SPEAKER_06:

Man, you got nine to go together. Damn!

SPEAKER_04:

Sugar.

SPEAKER_06:

Damn. It's amazing that fucking Craig's mom made all that fucking food like just for herself. Like she made a shit ton. She ate, did she eat all of that shit? She made like eggs, bacon, leftover cutlets, or so I don't know what the fuck she was making. Did you did you like at the beginning of Friday where his Craig's mom was making all that stuff? I was like, Jesus Christ, that's that's a pretty good amount of food for just one person.

SPEAKER_05:

Shitty mom, dude. Because if you're gonna make that shit, you should make it for your family, you fucking bitch.

SPEAKER_06:

It's like, have some cereal. We don't got no milk. Put some water on, it's just as good.

SPEAKER_04:

Fuck that.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, really. I mean, to be fair, Craig did get an astronomically large bowl of cereal. Like, that was huge.

SPEAKER_05:

I used to eat out of those, dude. I used to eat some mixing bowls all those big ass mixing bowls you make. Not that monster one of them, dude. I I go through a box of cereal in like two chances, two things. Back in the day, I don't do that anymore. Fruity pebbles. Oh, I can smash some fucking fruity pebbles.

SPEAKER_06:

Fruity Pebbles is next level cereal. I like if I had a choice of really bad cereal, it'd be Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I loved Cinnamon Toast Crunch as like a bad cereal. Applejacks, I like too. I like core pops. Golden grams. Bully grams was really good too. Um, did you get down to like cookie crisp or anything like that?

SPEAKER_05:

Yep, a little bit. No, it wasn't my favorite. It was too crunchy, dude.

SPEAKER_06:

It was a little crunchy.

SPEAKER_05:

Um, kicks. I loved kicks. Yuck. What about checks? Um, I liked life.

SPEAKER_06:

Life was good.

SPEAKER_05:

Life was one of my faves.

SPEAKER_06:

You know, checks and rice crispies. I had to put like six cups of sugar in it as a kid. That's one. Um I had another cereal. Okay, you know, a cereal that I really did not care for was Captain Crunch.

SPEAKER_05:

I love Captain Crunch.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh, I hated Captain Crunch. The crutch berries were okay. But like regular like Cap and Crunch, any iteration of that, I really like it.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, King Vitamin. What? Did you ever have King Vitamin?

SPEAKER_06:

No. What the fuck is that?

SPEAKER_05:

Check that one out, dude. Look at that, look at that just in like Google searching, dude. King Vitamin cereal. This is a cereal? Yeah. There it is. What the fuck? King Vitamin. What the shit is this?

SPEAKER_06:

Oh, it was by Quaker Oats.

SPEAKER_05:

It was like a Captain Crunch Nacos.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh, really? I yeah. Okay, I remember okay. I vaguely do remember this.

SPEAKER_05:

I don't remember that one, but I remember the king being on. This one? This guy? He's kind of Donald Trump looking motherfucker.

SPEAKER_06:

Well Robin Leach. Robin Lee, yeah, it doesn't like Robin Leach.

SPEAKER_04:

Lifestyles.

SPEAKER_06:

That's good. Let's let's like him.

SPEAKER_04:

And the very, very rich and famous King Vitamin. King. We go and we visit King.

SPEAKER_05:

I remember the guy being on it.

SPEAKER_04:

We visit King Vitamin. He starts off today. But it was like a Captain Crunch knockoff.

SPEAKER_06:

See, we always got like we never got like name brand cereals.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, this was a name brand. I'll say that.

SPEAKER_06:

I know it's my quicker oats, so it is technically a name brand.

SPEAKER_05:

It is name brand, but it wasn't like Captain Crunchyroll. Right, right.

SPEAKER_06:

It's kind of an unheralded kind of cereal.

SPEAKER_05:

It's like the mid-brand.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah. But we always got like multi meal kind of.

SPEAKER_05:

That's what we always got from Oh Mill, like Mill Stream. What or Mill something? It was old what the fuck was the brand? I think it was Mill.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, see, this is like fruity blasts.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, see, we got the fucking Aldi's, which was Millville.

SPEAKER_06:

Mill! Millville! So I think this is is this Walmart or Kroger's off brand? I can't remember.

SPEAKER_00:

Oops, I got that.

SPEAKER_06:

Mom brands. The company distribute centers. So they were just basically just like an offshoot competitor to, you know, like posts and catalogs and shit like that.

SPEAKER_05:

Look up them old Melville serials.

SPEAKER_06:

It was like crisp rice or some shit like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Melville, dude. Let's go. Oh man, let's get the ones with the fucking pictures of people on the fucking cover.

SPEAKER_06:

Howdy wheat puffs. Crispy rice. I do remember crispy crispy rice.

SPEAKER_05:

Was it there like two little kids on the boy on one side and a girl on the other? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

These are like more like modern. These are modern modes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh man, dude.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh classic foxes? I know what you're talking about, and I've seen this before.

SPEAKER_05:

I wonder if it's not maybe it wasn't.

SPEAKER_06:

Maybe it wasn't Melville. Hold on. Aldi Aldi cereal kids.

SPEAKER_05:

Is it just am I am I are we having a Mandela effect?

SPEAKER_06:

I I know what you're talking about. And I can't remember what brand of cereal it was. Yeah, I don't remember. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. They they had like they were really generic looking cartoon looking kids on the box. He looked like a good guy now. Yeah, good guy, yeah, they did. Dude, I totally know what you're talking about, and I don't know how the fuck am I like. There's no way the two of us are having a Mandela effect right now and not knowing what the fuck is there?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I'm I'm at a loss. I'm not finding shit.

SPEAKER_05:

This is crazy. Has anybody else heard of this, man? Like, uh like does anybody else remember the old Aldi's fucking uh cereal box?

SPEAKER_06:

I don't know, right.

SPEAKER_05:

Like, no joke, I'm doing an image search trying to find this shit and it's I'm coming up empty.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, if anyone can help us, that would be great because I'm gonna fucking find it.

SPEAKER_05:

I don't want anybody to know this shit.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, this must be some sort of fucking psyop. CIA fucking Well anyway, I we figured it out. So breakfast best. I remember that was like some deep cut fucking cheap cereal shit, dude. And I don't remember liking it very much as a kid.

SPEAKER_05:

I didn't mind it. I I I it didn't taste any different for me when I ate it. Um my biggest problem that I had with it, it didn't come with any toys.

SPEAKER_06:

Right, right. That's true. There was nothing like inherently interesting about like sometimes those cereal boxes had like cool things on the back.

SPEAKER_05:

I would choke through some shit cereal for a good toy.

SPEAKER_06:

Dude, you know what cereal I really fucking hated the most? Shook sugar smacks, dude. I fucking hated sugar. Nasty. It was fucking nice. My parents always got those. Like, why are we getting these sugar smacks? I fucking hate the cereal with a passion. There's um, I don't know. Like, I I never minded them. I ate them because it was, you know, my dad's like when they're sugar the same as like sugar crisp.

SPEAKER_05:

Sugar crisp was the same thing, yeah. And then they went to honey crisp. Honey crisp because sugar was bad, yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

Honey's bad. It's bad. I didn't mind honey crisp, but man, I hated sugar smacks. Oh god, those are nasty. I'm trying to think of some other cereals. I really I don't like hot cereals at all. What about grape nuts? Never had them. Really? Well, anything with raisins, no.

SPEAKER_05:

I don't think no, grape nuts didn't have raisins. Grape nuts are just dude, they're fucking. I don't think I've had them. It's like if you took grape nuts and chicken feed or about almost the same goddamn thing.

SPEAKER_06:

Like uh, like uh, you know, the anything with raisins in it too. I wasn't a big fan because I don't like raisins that much.

SPEAKER_05:

I love raisins.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh I like grapes, but not raisins. So uh trying to think of some other cereals.

SPEAKER_05:

It's got the word rape in it.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, I do enjoy good rape though. Oh no, I don't, just kidding. Uh trying to think of some other cereals I really did. Oh, like I said, hot cereals. I don't like cream.

SPEAKER_05:

You know, I'm gonna say straight up, I was not a huge fan of Wheaties.

SPEAKER_06:

Nah, yeah. Wheaties was a bland, overpriced fucking cereal. It was just overhyped because it had athletes on like boxes and shit like that. That's it. Nothing. It's a disgusting. It's a soggy, fucking disgusting.

SPEAKER_05:

It's like six, seven dollars a box of it.

SPEAKER_06:

Six seven. Sorry.

SPEAKER_05:

It's my favorite shit now.

SPEAKER_06:

I dumb do it every time just because it's just fucking dumb brain rot shit. Uh, like I said, hot cereals, cream of wheat, yuck, oatmeal. I don't like oatmeal.

SPEAKER_05:

I love homemade oatmeal, but I'll eat oatmeal.

SPEAKER_06:

Grits, I don't like grits, fucking disgusting. Anything like that.

SPEAKER_05:

Do you like how dented?

SPEAKER_07:

What are you trying to tell me? It takes it takes less time on your stove than everybody else's stove.

SPEAKER_06:

I'm glad you went there, man. It's fun.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, dude, you were talking about my cousin Vinny earlier, dude. You brought up uh the quote, yeah, yeah, about fucking because fucking Danny, goddamn dude. I tried to talk to him, and it it's in one ear and out the other. Because, dude, okay, he got the lab band surgery. I love the dude, he's a good guy, man. Yeah, he got lab band surgery, he died on a helicopter on the way to the hospital. Like, he died on life flight. Holy shit, and they brought him back, and so he has to take these calcium supplements because he had the lab band surgery. I'm like, dude, you do understand that if you don't change your eating habits on the lab band, or after getting that cut off, you're gonna your stomach's gonna stretch back to where it was again, and you're just gonna be in the same predicament, which I think he is because he's big, he's bigger again, and um, that's probably why he's frumpy a little bit. And uh, and I'm not trying to be a dick to you, dude, but like, dude, no joke. Everywhere we ate, accountability salt, accountability, man. There's salt and pepper on everything. And I said, dude, okay, pepper's fine, pepper's not gonna hurt you. Salt is horrible for you, and then he wouldn't drink water, he'd drink pop the whole fucking time. He had a big fucking one-liter bottle of Dr. Pepper at our at the hotel room. I'm drinking water, and he and then when we go out to eat, I drink soda, I drink too much soda, but I love it.

SPEAKER_06:

But I don't drink, I drink like I don't drink as much as I used to, though.

SPEAKER_05:

No, and which was just fine. In moderation, it's fine. Every goddamn every he we would drink coffee in the morning, and then he would get like fucking root beer if we went out to eat, which I love root beer. Don't get me wrong, dude.

SPEAKER_06:

I miss root being I can't have that, dude. It's so sugary.

SPEAKER_05:

I miss root beer.

SPEAKER_06:

I pseudo, dude. I love AW root beer so much.

SPEAKER_05:

That's my fave, dude.

SPEAKER_06:

I actually have two cans in the fucking fridge for little celebration days.

SPEAKER_05:

I you know, I do take a little bit of those here and there, so but I uh but like it just was like, what is you know, like I'm like, dude, no, that shit's not good for you, and that, and if you're on a CPAP machine, that's telling me, dude, that should be warning number one that you need to change your fucking life around. If you're you're on a C that what that's telling you is that oh, you sometimes can't breathe on your own when you're sick.

SPEAKER_06:

Does he do regular checkups with his doctor when he's on a lap band? Because sometimes, and I'll tell you, they'll tell you if you fuck that lap band up, they won't they won't medically intervene any further on your behalf, they won't touch you anymore if you don't it's stick or adhere to it. They they are just like you're shit out of luck.

SPEAKER_05:

The one thing I gotta say about the dude is he, I said, dude, is there any food you don't like? He's like, No, like there's not a single food on this planet that that dude did what not.

SPEAKER_06:

There's a lot of stuff I don't like.

SPEAKER_05:

Uh same here.

SPEAKER_06:

But uh, but with that said, I don't like to do this either, but we gotta go. So we appreciate everyone who's listening, who's been listening. We appreciate it through almost 200 episodes. Guys, we uh we're gonna keep going till till you know till all the college kids take my house over and shit. So uh any departing words this day.

SPEAKER_05:

Um, yeah, I just want to say thank you to everybody for listening. And and I know I've been kind of zoning. Tony, I know I I saw you this morning at uh breakfast when you walked in. I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to really talk to you, but um but um I'm still figuring out shit with the store. Um I'll get back to holding you about shirts and shit because I know you'll probably be listening to the next one we released it. Oh this is the easiest way to talk to you. I'll just communicate. Um so everybody else is it for you, it's tone.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, uh Yeah, we reappreciate everyone who's who's listening, who still listens to us all at all you know all these years later. We're gonna keep it going, and guys, we'll we'll see you next week. I'm John Burke. I'm Jason Sherker. Later later, very German.