Have you ever wondered about the significance of etiquette and manners in your own life and the lives of your children? Get ready for an enriching conversation as i share the importance of etiquette, manners, and respect. I'll dive into the importance of positive language usage, when children are observing adult conversations, also teaching acceptance of others' differences.
The conversation doesn't end there as I approach the topic of social manners and behavior. I'll discuss the impact of observational learning in parenting and emphasize on respect as the importance of proper etiquette. It's important to learn from bad behavior and the long-lasting effects if it's not addressed early. Remember, leading by example, and fostering an environment that celebrates diversity leads to successful parenting.
Have you ever wondered about the significance of etiquette and manners in your own life and the lives of your children? Get ready for an enriching conversation as i share the importance of etiquette, manners, and respect. I'll dive into the importance of positive language usage, when children are observing adult conversations, also teaching acceptance of others' differences.
The conversation doesn't end there as I approach the topic of social manners and behavior. I'll discuss the impact of observational learning in parenting and emphasize on respect as the importance of proper etiquette. It's important to learn from bad behavior and the long-lasting effects if it's not addressed early. Remember, leading by example, and fostering an environment that celebrates diversity leads to successful parenting.
It's not how you arrived at the title, but what you do with it.
Speaker 1:
Hey ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United podcast. It's a good day to have a good day. If this is your first time joining, welcome. If you are a repeat listener, you already know. Thank you in advance for doing what you do and just continuing to stop by and listening. Hopefully you're finding some value in this podcast. Whether you're far or near thank you, I appreciate it. I'm so humbled that you have stopped by, since there are so many other podcasts that you could be listening to All right.
Speaker 1:
Well, we're going to get right down to business. We're going to be talking about etiquette today and manners, not only from a child's perspective and you training your child, but also for you, mom. Everyone isn't as fortunate as we would like to be as far as being taught how to behave in certain situations, so some of this you may be able to adopt for yourself. It's not too late to change. It's never too late to learn. So I hope you find some value in this episode as I go through proper etiquette a better word choices, manners and how you present yourself in public. So when I look at the definition of etiquette, it's the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular professional group. Precinct manners are all about helping people, including yourself, feel comfortable, no matter the situation, and etiquette is about following guidelines that lead to greater respect, cooperation and understanding, and I think the key word we want to take out of that is respect. Practicing good etiquette or good behavior, that's what's going to lead to people respecting you that's just the bottom line and respecting your children. And if you choose not to practice good manners or good etiquette, yeah, you're going to be struggling a little bit through life because you're not going to get that respect that you want and should receive. All right, so let's talk about some of the things you should be teaching your children as it relates to etiquette. Be respectful and courteous and kind. Use words like I'm sorry, thank you, yes, not yeah, yes, please Excuse me. Acknowledge and respond when spoken to. Don't just look and turn your head, even if it's, I understand, of course. Avoid adult conversations. So, mom, whether you're on the phone and interacting with someone face to face, however that interaction is occurring, your children shouldn't be involved, they shouldn't be in the room, they should not be present as you're having an adult discussion Because, remember, they're sponges and they're absorbing some of those word choices and behaviors that you're displaying there may not be positive, so your children shouldn't be involved in that. Let your child be a child. Let them have fun. There's going to be plenty of time for stress later on in life, as you know, as I know. So let your child be a child, Go have fun.
Speaker 1:
What else should we be teaching our child or our children? And one is accept differences. People come in all different shapes, sizes and colors, how they learn, how they respond to things, and explain to your child it's okay that someone looks different from you. It's okay if they respond differently from you. It's okay if they dress different from you. This is not your opportunity to call that out because they're not like you and that goes for you too, single mom Just because someone doesn't look like you or they do things different than what you do. You shouldn't be calling them out like that. Go ahead and accept people for who they are. We are not going to get in the judgment of saying, oh, I'm better than you because of this, because of my skin color, or because I shop at this place. We don't want to get in that arena because now you're teaching your children to behave the same way and Not accept people for who they are.
Speaker 1:
My tagline is it's not about how you arrived at the title as a single mom, but what you do with it same thing with with culture and people. Learn to respect differences, because it's going to take you a lot further in life when interacting with people. Then, if you don't, that's where the stress comes in at when you start pointing out and judging other folks Unnecessarily for who they are. It's okay to promote and embrace Diversity. So please, single mom, advise your children. This is okay. There's someone's different from you? All right. Morals and values are everything. It's also another way of teaching integrity. Basically, integrity is what you do when no one's watching, when there is an opportunity to behave badly, but you choose not to. That's integrity. Teach your children the importance of morals and values, control and empathy, and really this is how you respond when you're denied something.
Speaker 1:
I know how, through life, I've applied for many jobs and didn't get them or Just anything in general that I wanted. I didn't get. You throw a tantrum or do you say, okay, well, maybe this just wasn't meant for me back in my day, that mindset wasn't there and I certainly didn't throw a tantrum, but I definitely was disappointed. I was angry, some like I was a perfect fit for that job how dare you? And then to find out who Received the job or got offered the job, and I'm like wait, are you kidding me? There was some resentment that set in, but nobody taught me how to accept Disappointments and they're gonna happen. I'm at the stage in my life now I've where I can say it wasn't meant to be, and that's what I would encourage you to say single mom For yourself as well as your children. It wasn't meant to be. There's something better for you.
Speaker 1:
I remember had applied for a job and I just knew that job was for me. I just knew it had my name written all over it, I was interacting with the hiring manager, some great things were happening and I didn't get the job. Oh, I was salty, I was upset, I was disappointed, I was frustrated. However, a year later, that job was Disbanded. Yes, I would have been laid off in a year. So that's why I have learned to accept rejection.
Speaker 1:
I told you I'm a Christian and so I do believe there is a God. I do believe Jesus died and rose again for my sins. When we go through life and we get upset about rejection Listen, that is a form of protection that you aren't even aware of. I'm so thankful that I know better now. Stop getting upset when things don't go your way, because God sees and God knows well in advance what's gonna happen. Case in point that job I knew I had, that I should have had, but then was disbanded within a year. Learn how to accept rejection. So all that energy I put into being mad and disappointed is now I turn it into grateful versus hateful. I did all of that for what? Because God knew that job wasn't going to be there in a year. Self-control we have to teach that. It's the ability to remain calm in a stressful situation. Generally. This is the opportunity to proactive and educate in advance. They aren't always going to get what they asked for, so learn how to accept it, because it's going to pay off in the end.
Speaker 1:
Compassion you should teach your children about how to be compassionate, especially more so with the elderly and disabled. Again, not to point out ooh, he or she is old, or ooh, he or she is in a wheelchair, or he or she needs a walker or a cane. Run-up offers Is there anything I can do for you? Teach your children that and, matter of fact, you as well, take that opportunity to reach out and encourage someone that is maybe elderly or at a disadvantage. That's what compassion is, or you can also retitle that as love, and we are responsible as Christians to love our fellow man, and we shouldn't have to wait, when we see that someone is at a disadvantage, for us to display compassion or love towards them. There's going to come a time when you may have to go through something very similar and you're at a disadvantage and you may need somebody to show some compassion and or love.
Speaker 1:
A few months ago I was having some problems with my foot. It actually was aching, so I was doing a lot of limping and so forth, but I was still getting around. I went to the grocery store and I was limping through the store and limped back to my car with the cart and I had put the groceries in my trunk. A lady just came out of nowhere and she said ma'am, can I take that cart for you? I didn't know who she was. I'm assuming she saw me limping and came and said and show some compassion, some love. Can I take this cart for you and put the cart up? That's what I'm talking about, ladies. That's the kind of compassion we need to teach our children, that we need to display. We need to raise the bar in that area, because while we're teaching our children other things, compassion is huge Love.
Speaker 1:
One thing we should be training our children is to ask for permission. Don't assume, when it comes to some things, may I have, is it okay? They'll go in, open that refrigerator, pull out food, eat the last bit of this and the last bit of that and you'll go and be like, oh wait, what happened to them? Because they didn't ask, they just went and got it. Maybe that's the household you want your children feel comfortable in.
Speaker 1:
But at the end of the day, with inflation as it is, some things might have to be done just a little differently and a little sparingly. So you would want to encourage them to ask when it comes to some things. Even when you go into the store. They shouldn't be all rowdy and carrying on Mama, I want this cereal and can I have this candy bar and can I have? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're going to do this in a proper manner. We're going to show etiquette and how we conduct ourselves in public and it's okay and you might reward them, and you should have some type of reward process in place for your children. So when they do do good and you all are at the store, they did their homework on time and maybe they cleaned up something without you telling them or asking them to, and maybe you do go on and get that by that Snickers form, and that's okay, because now what you're doing is you're instilling in them how to be rewarded for good behavior. You're embedding this mindset in them If you do good, then you get this, and now what that's going to do is encourage them to continue to practice good behavior, and it's just that simple.
Speaker 1:
Then, sharing and volunteering encourage your children how to share their time, teaching them how to support others that are less fortunate or at a disadvantage and not just your children, mom, but you too. You're talented and you're gifted. You have an opportunity to share with someone that isn't, and a lot of times and I hear you well, how do I do that? If you're involved in a church, there's a lot of opportunity to share and volunteer your talents and your gifts, and many churches need that because they're nonprofit. They don't can't go out and hire someone to come in and do this, and most of us have that gift where we can give back and we should we should be going in and saying, hey, this is my gift to you, volunteering to do this, and it could be something small. You have to learn how to give back, and not just a church, but your community.
Speaker 1:
Next, let's talk about communication. Not every comment requires a response. Keep that in mind and I would say this is more for you than the child, because, one thing, your child is continuing to observe how you behave in certain situations. Just because someone says something that you don't agree with, that's okay. Well, thank you for that. I know in my current job as I interact with customers and sometimes they're upset and they'll come back and say, well, this is not directed at you, this is not for you, I'm just mad at the situation and I remind them. You know, unless my name is included in your response, I'm not going to take it personally. You're upset about something, you're expressing yourself. That's fine and that's fair. Nothing I can do about it, but let them express Same thing, mom, if someone's upset and going off about this than the other, if your name isn't attached to it, let it go.
Speaker 1:
Pick your battles One of the greatest things I've learned in my career is pick your battles. If someone's coming to you and they're saying, hey, the sky is blue, and you're like, where are you seeing blue? I see gray. Why would you argue about what color the sky is? I'm ashamed to say it, but at one point in time I was there and my prior roles you know. I was a leader and I had to facilitate meetings and get buy in and so forth. I had to learn how to agree to disagree. This is a big one and this is one you definitely have to pass along to your child or your children. Learn how to agree to disagree. It's okay if you don't agree. It's what makes the world go around. You're more respectful to one another when you just reach that consensus. We agree to disagree and I'm so glad I learned this. Yeah, it was a little later in life to be an effective facilitator or an effective leader. I had to learn to agree to disagree. I still received the same respect, because now I'm not arguing with you, I'm not wasting time trying to put my point across when I knew you weren't going to change your mind and you knew I wasn't going to change my mind. We were both passionate about the topic but, guess what? We agreed to disagree. Now we're moving on and we garner more respect for one another now because of it.
Speaker 1:
All right, social manners. Listen, this is really for their young men or young boys, one of the things that you have to tell your child or your children. Bodily functions are natural, burping, farting. It's not okay to do it in public and laugh about it. And if you do have to do it in public or if it slips out, say excuse me, okay, because we all gonna know and from the smell, somebody did something okay, so it's okay. You acknowledge that you did it. Have a tendency, or I've seen the little young fellas do what they do and laugh and giggle and there's this black cloud lingering while they're laughing and we all choking and stuff.
Speaker 1:
Or we should just really teach children not just the young ones, young boys, but children in general burping and controlling your bodily functions and in public. Need to try to control that. How about that? And then let's teach kids how to recognize bad behavior and the consequences of it. It's unacceptable to talk back to your parents because, in back of my day, if you wanted to live to see the next day, you didn't even roll your eyes as you were walking away where you know, where she couldn't even see. I'm just saying behavior. Teach your kids what bad behavior is as well and balance that out with good behavior and consequences of both, because with good behavior you're gonna be rewarded and well respected.
Speaker 1:
Bad behavior is gonna get you locked up long term. Many of the folks that are in jail probably during some point in life they displayed bad behavior and it wasn't addressed. And because it wasn't addressed, that short-term bad behavior ended up being long term disrespecting authority. Good behavior respects authority. That that's what you should be teaching your children, especially going to school, interacting with adults, and if they're talking to an adult any kind of way, if they're talking to you any kind of way, that's bad behavior and it's going to end up with bad results and lack of respect. Address it now versus later. This is what's going to get us where we need to be long term in life.
Speaker 1:
You have to address these things as soon as they happen. You can't wait. As soon as your child starts talking, you want to start introducing positive behaviors early. This is your opportunity. If you have been practicing bad behavior in front of your children, this is your opportunity to say I'm gonna do better. My children deserve better. No matter what people do to me or say to me, I still need to practice good behavior in front of my children and you gotta learn now, because it's going to be times you're gonna be disappointed. People are gonna say the wrong thing to you at the right time, and it's not just gonna be a one and done. These things are gonna happen over the course of your life, so you have to learn how to effectively respond when these things happen and once you learn how to do it, you can effectively teach your child.
Speaker 1:
One of the things my daughter told me. She said mom, I've seen you get people together and never say one curse word. I've seen other people. Every other word was a curse word. At the end of the day, you have to think about the message you're trying to send. Everybody can say curse words, so what? What does it mean? Is it going to get you what you are desiring for an outcome? Using the same word choices to also express your discontent with a situation that has as much value or more, because now people are like okay, I'm building respect, you were able to talk to me and share with me without cursing me out. And really what's the benefit of that? I think it's more so for you than the other person, cause now all you're gonna do is get a shouting match between the two of you and cursing back and forth. They don't need to hear that.
Speaker 1:
Teaching etiquette and manners will be the most important thing you do as a parent. Why? Because you're going to have to release your child, or your children, into society. These are fundamental things that they need to be taught. We all are gonna leave here. We're getting out of here. Death is real. Some of us will go sooner than others. We're leaving them here. This is our opportunity to teach them how to navigate through life. There's gonna be some disappointing days All of these things are gonna happen in life so it's up to us to share with them how to handle these situations.
Speaker 1:
And in reality, it really isn't even about a whole lot of verbal communication, but it's about what they see Always going to be the best teacher when it comes to educating our children. A lot of them. You can sit and talk to them, but they'll zone off. But if they see something all they watching, they're paying attention. Even with my kids, when I didn't think they were watching. They were watching and as they've gotten older and as we now have conversations, they'll come back and tell me yeah, mom, I saw you when you did this and I didn't even think about it at the time, but they're paying attention. All right, ladies, I hope you enjoyed today's topic of etiquette and manners.
Speaker 1:
I went a little longer than normal, but I think it's important and if you found value, definitely go to SingamomsUnitedPodcastcom. Leave me some comments, tell another single mom and even there may be a mom that's married but maybe struggling with some parenting. This is designed to guide. It's not all inclusive, but it's here to encourage and set a foundation for moms to be able to come back and say you know what? I'm gonna try this and let's see what happens. And not only am I gonna try it, but I'm gonna try it and see how I can't tweak it even more to make it success for me and my family, because success is defined by you. The definition of success is different for everybody because you're in different environments, but success can be measured by the outcome of your training, based on what you're teaching your children and allowing your children to see. All right, ladies, have a good day, take care.