Have you ever gazed into the mirror and felt like you're seeing two different versions of yourself? That's the heart of our latest conversation, where I dive into the nuances of single motherhood and the importance of self-reflection. As someone who's walked in those shoes, I understand the physical and emotional marathon it can be. In discussion, i talk about the strength that comes from unity and the courage it takes to face our less than perfect moments with our children. I'm peeling back the layers of our own identities, with a simple yet revealing challenge involving two selfies—one with a smile and one without—to explore the profound narrative behind the faces we show our children and ourselves.
Have you ever gazed into the mirror and felt like you're seeing two different versions of yourself? That's the heart of our latest conversation, where I dive into the nuances of single motherhood and the importance of self-reflection. As someone who's walked in those shoes, I understand the physical and emotional marathon it can be. In discussion, i talk about the strength that comes from unity and the courage it takes to face our less than perfect moments with our children. I'm peeling back the layers of our own identities, with a simple yet revealing challenge involving two selfies—one with a smile and one without—to explore the profound narrative behind the faces we show our children and ourselves.
It's not how you arrived at the title, but what you do with it.
Speaker 1:
Hey, ladies, it's a good day to have a good day. Hey, welcome back to Sing a Mom's United podcast, where we cannot spell united without the letter U or Y-O-U. We, as Sing a Moms, we have to come together and support each other because as we navigate down this life's road, there are going to be lonely days. You're going to feel like, am I out here in the middle of the ocean by myself, just me and the kids? So we have to unite and say, hey, sing a Mom, you can do this. We have to encourage one another and that's what this podcast is designed to do to encourage and motivate you. So, irregardless of what the day looks like, of what your circumstance looks like, guess what, guess what? Number one, it's only temporary. And number two you'll get through it. Ask me how I know. I've been a Sing a Mom for over 30 years, 35 to be exact and it hasn't been easy and there have been lonely days, but I'm thankful to God that I got through it. I made it through it. I channeled my energy of that loneliness into my kids and started doing things with them to fill that void of not having a man present in my life at that time. And you can do it too. You can do it too. All right, let me move on. I just wanted to offer just some encouraging words because, again, I know Sing a Mom, this is a challenge for you and it's not easy, but you can do it All right.
Speaker 1:
So what am I talking about today? We're talking about examining yourself right. A lot of times, well, as a Sing a Mom, we don't think about ourselves. At least I didn't. I mean it was either go out and make this money or, once you're done making the money, come home and tend to the kids and see what's going on with them and everything is taken care of related to them. I mean, if there's any health issues, school issues, whatever the situation, is that attention turned to them. That's what I did. So it was either working or taking care of the kids. There really was no in-between area, but it's all good. But one of the things I want to talk about today you have a greater advantage of doing and experiencing and utilizing.
Speaker 1:
So I'm going to put on the table a challenge for you regarding examining yourself, examining your behaviors and understanding who you are, sing a Mom. As a Sing a Mom, sometimes we just get lost. We lose our identity. At least I did, or I felt I did. It wasn't ever about me. I never went about and said, hey, girl, go do this, girl go do that. It was never about that. It was either take care of the kids, a good work, it's just that simple. Okay.
Speaker 1:
But when you're thinking about examination of yourself, you're looking within and really identifying who you are. Here's a fun challenge. If you'll accept, you might find out a few things about yourself and also open that door for self-improvement. Okay, here's the challenge. I challenge you Sing a Mom and most of us have smartphones right To take two selfies.
Speaker 1:
Now, half of this challenge is already done because, if you're like me, you already have many selfies in your phone. Right, be critical or critique your selfies. Basically, one of your selfies should be one with a smile and we probably have a lot of those right and then one without a smile. This is where the challenge comes in with that self-examination. When you look at that selfie of you smiling, who do you see? What do you see? Hmm, think about that Because you know why that's important Because this is who your child sees Mm-hmm, this is who they see, mom. And then, when you're not smiling, what do you see, mm? I mean that's really huge.
Speaker 1:
Again, as you are on this journey of single parenting, your child sees that both sides, and how often do they see the mom that's smiling versus the mom that's serious? And I'm not gonna say mad, I won't say serious Because you got a lot on your mind. At least I did Smiling and everything. Yeah, that just wasn't it when I got bills to pay. I gotta go to the grocery store again. Oh no, now they need shoes. Now they got this coming up and, oh boy, here's a bunch of paperwork you need to fill out for this, or they wanna do that. And then, of course, you still gotta take care of your household necessities. So you got a serious look on your face About I gotta get things done, and I have to get them done now. And so they may not always see that smile.
Speaker 1:
So what do you see when you're serious? What does that person represent? Or I should say, what does that serious person represent? What are those behaviors you're seeing? Because your child sees it too. So, again, this exercise is important because it's who your child sees. They will either say one or two things I wanna be just like my mom, or I never wanna be like my mom in certain situations. This is what you're putting off in front of them and this impacts their future. Think about that.
Speaker 1:
And it's also an opportunity to take a self-esteem pulse. Where's your self-esteem at these days, ladies? Especially if you just came out of a relationship, you know how are you feeling. So this I also say wow, I really look like that. Here's a true life story and it's kinda funny.
Speaker 1:
Once upon a time ago not so far long ago I had took my car to a car wash and as I was coming out of the car wash and everything, I just happened to look to my right. I scared myself Because the mirror was turned in to inside of the car and, yeah, I scared myself. I didn't expect to see that me in the mirror. Where I'm going with this is you're on the other side looking out right, and so you don't always see what you look like as you carry yourself. And I'm not saying it's not okay to be serious. I'm saying that you have to have an awareness of how you're coming off. It's important because your kids are watching.
Speaker 1:
You know single mom one of the other things with seriousness and again, I fall well within this category of you know, I felt like I was yelling all the time at my kids do this, do that, do this, do that. I mean I just felt like I may have or may not have been, but I'm sure that my kids would come back and tell me and they have you know of how I was at that particular point in time. But when you're carrying the load all by yourself, you're gonna have a lot more serious days than those days where you're smiling and grinning and saying, hey, it's all gonna be well, when you know I just don't have enough money to take care of everything right now. Just know that it's okay for you to be tired, exhausted, as it relates to some things, as it relates to being a single mom, but take a deep breath. Take a deep breath, count to ten, step in another room, maybe play some smooth jazz, something that just reminds you it's gonna be okay, it's.
Speaker 1:
It's a way of calming yourself and you know a smile represents compassion and empathy. Loving yourself and loving your children. That's the most important thing that you could put under that category of your selfie, with you smiling. It's all about love and compassion and you would hope either one of these selfies don't outweigh the other. In other words, if you are happy, then absolutely there should be a definite balance between that serious photo and the one with you smiling, because you're never going to say one is gonna or shouldn't say one outweighs the other. You know there are days where that serious facial expression is going to outweigh that jovial facial or selfie that you took. Right, you just got a lot going on.
Speaker 1:
It's important to examine you. This is who your child or your children see daily. The key is balancing the positive and negative. There will be days of both, but do not let the negative outweigh the positive. There should be just a balance and then, when you do have those bad days, come back and tell your child or your children hey, I'm sorry, mom was having a bad day today. This is not who I am, and this also teaches them how to go about an apologizing for bad behavior or when they're not displaying that positive behavior.
Speaker 1:
So, ladies, I hope you enjoyed today's episode of examine yourself. I hope you'll take me up on the challenge of the selfie and again, I do believe you already halfway there. I know you have a lot of selfies and I know they all are you smiling, but why not extend that and say, let me take one with a serious look or no smile, and go back and examine that person. Because, again, I do have a feeling that person is probably more prevalent than the selfie where you're smiling. But that's just life, so we're not gonna beat ourselves up over it, we're gonna acknowledge it and move on. This is our door to open for improvement and to be aware. So, again, I'm not saying if things are gonna change over a night, but it. You're gonna immediately become aware when you're not smiling and when you giving that look. Hey, yeah, wow, maybe I need to step back, or I shouldn't allow my child or my children to see this side of me. So let me go back and apologize, to let them know this is not who I am. You just saw it this time, but this is a part of life and I'm sorry for allowing you to see me in this manner.
Speaker 1:
Alright, ladies, I hope. I hope. I hope you found value in this episode and if you did, go back and tell another single mom, please. We have to unite and encourage one another and not wait for someone to come and encourage us, encourage each other. You know why it's important? Because we in this thing together, we all doing this together. We're all single moms, so why wouldn't we encourage one another? Alright, you have a fantastic day, a wonderful week and a magnificent month. You take care.