Mom2Mentor
Encouraging and motivating single mothers, reminding them of their strength and determination. They can succeed as a single parent as long as they remain focused.
Its not about how you arrived at the single mom title, but, its what you do with it!
Mom2Mentor
Beyond the Basics: Mother vs. Mom
We explore the meaningful distinction between being a "mother" who provides basic necessities and being a "mom" who sacrifices, teaches, and prepares children for long-term success in life.
• A mother provides basic necessities like food, shelter, and clothing
• A mom goes beyond basics by teaching life skills and preparing children for independence
• Protecting children from adult situations while still teaching responsibility
• Teaching household skills like laundry and cleaning from ages 8-10
• The power of telling your child "I'm proud of you" regularly
• Teaching children financial literacy and money management
• Being proactive about your child's education and homework completion
• Finding balance between authority and open communication
Visit singlemomunitedpodcast.com to share your feedback about these episodes and let me know if you find them encouraging and helpful.
https://singlemomsunitedpodcast.com/
It's not how you arrived at the title, but what you do with it.
Hey ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United podcast. If this is your first time joining, welcome If you are a repeat listener. Thank you for your loyalty. Before I get the party started today, I want to remind everyone that I do have a website. It's called singlem united podcastcom and, yes, I'm working on creating a short link there, but for now is single moms united podcastcom.
Speaker 1:I would love for you to provide some feedback to me on my blog. Let me know what you think about these episodes. Are they helpful and do you find yourself encouraged by the content? Yeah, I know that I'm not the greatest sounding person in the world, and that's okay. That's okay, but it really is all about the content of the message, because it's designed to encourage and motivate the single mom. So if you would please, ma'am or sir I think there are some gentlemen that might be listening I just would love to get some feedback from you. I would love to know if you find value in these episodes and what I could do better, because that's how I'm going to get better, based on your feedback. So if you would do that for me, I would be so ever, ever, ever grateful.
Speaker 1:Today I want to talk about Mother's Day. Just as I provided an episode last year about father versus dad, I want to do something very similar as it relates to mother versus mom and kind of talk about the differences between the two titles. As a mother, we're all mothers, but are we all moms? Think about that. In my opinion, a mother just provides basic necessities for the child, such as making sure they have food, clothes, a roof over their head and just trying to be a good mother and providing the basics. A mom is all about sacrificing, teaching and just making sure they go above and beyond for their child and making sure they're going to be successful long-term. So basically not just relying on day-to-day basic needs, going after and making sure they have what they need to be successful in life.
Speaker 1:Now I can honestly say when I had my son, you know I was a mother. I didn't know anything about being a mom. I was still calling my mom mom and I think she's the greatest mom in the world and I'm thankful that she's still with us because she taught me how to be a woman. She taught me how to be responsible. When I first became a mother, you know, I did the basics. And guess what, ladies, it's okay to have the mother title. What I would say is this is not designed to be long-term.
Speaker 1:For you to say I'm just providing the basics for my child, because at some point you got to go from ground level to the next floor, you got to hit the up button in the elevator on this thing called parenting, because otherwise, if you stay at the basics, you're not preparing your child or your children for life. Anybody can provide basics, but a true mom goes above and beyond. So let's talk about that. Being a mother again, very basic. You're providing food, shelter and clothing.
Speaker 1:But being a mom, you now have to become a teacher, you have to become a motivator, you have to put on a mentor status. If you will, okay, you have to start to learn your child. Now. That doesn't mean becoming their friend. That's a difference. Right, you should have a good balance of your child or children being able to come and talk to you about certain things, but yet still respect you as their parent. And a lot of times, when moms want to be their child's friend, the respect gets lost. So just be careful of that, because now you are treading on very soft surfaces when you're trying to become their friend, and so I just want to be clear. It has everything to do with respect.
Speaker 1:But as a mom, you know you're careful not to let your child see and hear everything that happens. You are careful not to allow them to participate in adult situations. I'll say that again as a mom, you are prepared to not allow them to participate in adult situations. Allow them to participate in adult situations. When I was growing up and my mom would be on the phone, there was adult conversation happening, or even if she had visitors, kids had to go outside. You weren't allowed to hang around and hear these conversations. Now, whether they were good, bad, indifferent, you weren't allowed, because these were adults talking and somewhere along the line during life's journey. You know we've started allowing our children to participate in adult situations.
Speaker 1:I'm all about letting a child be a child. You curse and you curse often. Your child really shouldn't hear all of that, mom. They're going to start mimicking you and when you get them out in a public setting, such as school or church or any other public setting, guess what? They're going to start repeating some of that same language they heard you say and that shouldn't be. Let your child be a child. Now there will be times where a word will slip out depending on what the situation is. I get it, but that shouldn't be a regular. And then you should go back and explain to your child oops, you know what I don't ever want to hear you say that it's inappropriate. I shouldn't have said it, it was an accident. So you still have time to clean that up, whatever slips out. That way your child knows the difference Because, remember, you're a teacher now. So as a mom, you're teaching, you're motivating and you're encouraging.
Speaker 1:As a single mom and really the mom title period you don't even have to be a single mom, but as a mom you have to be careful of what your child or children hear and see. You have to be one that they look up to and say I'm proud of you. Mom, let me tell you that is one of the greatest phrases I've ever heard, and especially when it comes from your child. And guess what? You should be saying that to your child I'm proud of you. That phrase goes so much further than some of the basics that you provide to your child. Please, single mom or mom, if you haven't told your child you're proud of them, start today. That is one of the greatest motivational phrases that can ever come out of your mouth Because, remember, they're trying to get things done. And they're trying to get things done in a single parent household.
Speaker 1:When you're a single parent, you're trying to hustle, get food on the table and make sure your child is taken care of. When that happens, things get lost in translation. And when I say that I'm talking about time, that time you would love to spend with your child is not always going to be there. Since you're taking on dual roles as a provider, make sure you tell your child I'm proud of you, you can do this. And secondly, as a mom, along the lines of teaching, you're training your children how to participate in life.
Speaker 1:And when I say that, I would say between eight and 10, 10 at the max you should be teaching your child how to do household chores. If it's loading the dishwasher, then let it be loading the dishwasher Laundry. You should be introducing your child into how to work a washing machine. And even if you don't have a washing machine and you have to go to the laundromat, you should still allow them to put the clothes in the washer, how to separate the clothes, how to look at the tags on the clothes and how to properly wash them. You should be doing that, mom, and that's not that difficult. As a mom, we have to and we are responsible for making sure our children are ready for life. That includes training them. You also want to teach them about money, creating a budget, and the good news is, with today's technology, all of that is so easy. You can just look it up, google it Artificial intelligence out there these days. You can go out there, learn it for yourself and then teach your children.
Speaker 1:For example, about a year or so ago, my little nephew was up helping me do some yard work and so forth and I told him I'd give him $25 for helping me out. And then, as I was taking him home, we stopped at a store and we were walking around and so forth and he saw something he liked and he asked me if he could have it. I said oh sure, you can have it. I said, but it's coming out of the $25 that I was going to pay you. And all of a sudden his whole attitude changed because now it's coming out of the money I was going to pay him. He thought it was going to be extra, but that's how our children think. They don't value the dollar and what it takes to earn the dollar until you say it's coming out of the money I owe you. They need to know about taxes, all of that stuff and the money that comes out as a result. How to save All of these things need to be taught to our children. And I hear you well, nobody taught me. And you're right, nobody taught me either.
Speaker 1:I think one of my greatest and I mentioned this in the past issues I faced as a single parent is finances and managing finances. Those first few years of parenting, I mean it was just awful because I did not know how to balance between debits and credits financially, how to properly manage on what I had. We can defeat this issue, single mom, by you just training your child in some key areas that they're going to experience in life. Once your child leaves your home, there should be no guesswork about how to do laundry, how to keep a house clean and how to earn money and how to stay within budget. That's your goal and that's what makes you a mom A mother.
Speaker 1:Let's take it, for example, with school. A mother will just say, okay, they'll get the report card, sign off on it and go back to the teacher. Never go through understanding. Well, why did you get an F in this class? They just signed the report card and I'm sure it's probably digital now I don't know it's been so long. But signing it and send it back without asking questions, that's a mother. But a mom is going to go through those grades, what's going on here, and not to reprimand the child unless they were just goofing off.
Speaker 1:But some children may find some subjects difficult, but that's up to you mom to understand. Why are you struggling in English? And then talk to the teacher and ask the teacher what can I do to help? Sometimes it's just making sure they do their homework. Sometimes it's just getting that document or that homework, reviewing it and make sure it's completed. Some of this, that's what's being taught.
Speaker 1:Unless you are actually in class, you may not understand everything fully. So you don't want to mislead your child, but you certainly can check to make sure it's done. And then you can even set up an arrangement with the teacher by email. You know what was today's homework or something to that effect, or maybe before the week begins or the week ends, and you just work it out with the teacher what was the work this week? And go through your child's homework and to make sure it was done, because, guarantee you, some of them are be like, yeah, ain't nobody watching, so I'm just going to stick it right here and we're going to go on with life. But once you know ahead of time and you're proactive of what work is being given and what's required to be done, you can go back and check that. And I encourage you to do that, because now your child is not gonna just blow it off. They're not just gonna blow it out. Well, mommy ain't looking, so, teacher, don't care, I'm just not gonna do it. But we're talking about their future and that's how we have to explain that to the kids. This is your future we're talking about. So long story short.
Speaker 1:Ladies, I hope that you found value in today's episode of the difference between a mother and a mom. A mother provides basics. A mom sacrifices. I hope you all have a great Mother's Day. I hope state that you are one of the greatest moms ever. Right, we're not perfect. Why would we be perfect living in an imperfect world? But the good news is how do your child or your children see you? Are you being a positive example in front of them? That's what makes a great mom, take care, ladies. I hope to talk with you soon.
