Forgiveness Lessons for Moms and Kids

https://singlemomsunitedpodcast.com/

As Mom's we are more than nurturers we are Mentors to our children.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Parenting Focus
• 0:56 Defining Forgiveness Plainly
• 3:14 Letting Go Without Reconciliation
• 4:15 Modeling Apologies To Children
• 6:00 Personal Story Of Co‑Parenting Hurt
• 7:18 Show It So Kids Can Imitate
• 8:01 Name The Offense And Align
• 9:03 Forgive, Set Boundaries, Move On
• 9:33 Share, Subscribe, And Updates

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Hey ladies, welcome to the Mom to Mentor podcast, where this podcast is designed to encourage, motivate, and most of all, educate you when it comes to parenting. No, it's not a one-size fits all, but hopefully you'll be able to extract some of the dialogue that I'm going to share with you regarding parenting and apply it to your life and your parenting skills. And I promise you you won't be disappointed because anytime you're able to teach your child, you've already won. And especially if it's something positive. Let me add that to it because they do learn and it's not always positive. But when you're teaching your child something and they learn it and it's positive, you are a winner. What am I talking about today? The topic is about forgiveness and forgiving through life, and you may already know this, mom. I'm sure you do, because we all experience it where we've been hurt by someone, and as a result of that hurt, it hangs around with us. Because it's an emotional hurt, it's hard to forgive. Even when they come back and say, Will you forgive me, please? Depending on what they did, it's kind of hard to immediately say, Yeah, because once you go that route of the hurt, you know, that's something that's gonna stay with you. And it's hard to let go because especially that emotional hurt, there is no band-aid, no antiseptic, or anything you can do to heal that. And so we have a tendency to carry that unforgiving attitude, and we grasp that that we carry that pain with us. And so today I want to just talk about forgiving and how to talk to your children about it and why they should do it. Yeah, why you should do it, mom.

SPEAKER_00: 2:20

So let's get the party started.

SPEAKER_01: 2:22

So, first of all, what is it and why do we need to do it? So, forgiving is the ability to release feelings of resentment or vengeance towards a person or group who has harmed you mentally and physically, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. Yeah. Basically, in layman's term, let it go. Yeah, that's what forgiveness is. Let it go. Just bringing it down to eye level. It's about just letting it go. Whatever that person or persons did to you, you can continue to say, I'm gonna hold this grudge forever. But what is that gonna do but stunt your growth? And you're trying to move on. Even with your child's father, if he didn't live up to his commitment to you and the child, but you have to learn how to forgive. Now, forgive does forgiveness does not mean you allow him back in your life, but it allows you to let it go and move on. It happened, you acknowledged it. Now I'm moving on. Okay. So, again, in life, you've already encountered disappointment, you've already encountered some type of emotional hurt from somebody. You're carrying this unnecessary weight around on you because you won't let it go. It's something that's not gonna happen overnight, depending on the depth of the hurt that has been inflicted on you. It is going to take time, and I'm not even gonna put a time frame around it. At some point, mom, you're going to have to let it go. And that's how you educate your child. Yep, your dad hurt you. He didn't show up for this, or he didn't show up for that. And even you, mom, maybe you've hurt your child emotionally. Maybe they expected something from you and you weren't able to deliver. You'll need to ask your child for forgiveness that you didn't deliver on something that you thought you were able to meet that obligation and you weren't. That's where you can start with the practice of this is what forgiveness looks like. This is what it sounds like. And so, in order to forgive or statement would, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry I didn't properly protect you. These are word choices you want to use as you're engaging with your child. Why is that important? Because they should be able to mimic those same word choices that you share with them when they hurt somebody. Yeah, because they're gonna have to not only accept forgiveness or to let it go, but they're gonna have to practice making the statement of please forgive me for what I've done. Because it's gonna happen a lot throughout life. And the hurt is real, it goes straight to the heart, depending on who it is. Rejection is not fun as a result of that hurt. They're carrying it around. You're carrying it around, and it's time to let it go. Even with my kid's father, the latter part of the relationship, he wasn't there for them. I said, Well, I get you weren't there physically for them, but they should be able to call you and have conversations with you. And so for a long time, I carried some resentment that hurt it was okay that we didn't make it, but now I'm thinking about the kids. They need that support structure from a male figure and not just a female, because it took two to make the children. So it should take two to support them mentally, emotionally. But as I've grown and matured, I let it go. I said, My kids are grown now. Now you all handle it however you want to deal with it. You're capable of addressing this issue on your own. I trust you to do that. And I'm not gonna stand in your way, whatever you decide. But forgiveness, mom, you have to teach that. And again, the best way to teach it is you starting with your child and asking them for forgiveness for something you may have done and you may not even realize it. If your child is eight and above, you can sit down and have that conversation with them. Or let them see you illustrate it. That's the best method of teaching your children. Because again, we can talk until we're blue in the face, but the reality is we are visual, we gotta see it, we gotta touch it, we gotta feel it in order for it to be impactful. So let them see you actually asking for forgiveness or demonstrating that behavior of what it means to let it go. All right. Another way to cultivate this behavior is acknowledge the offense and why it was an offense. Why did it hurt so much? So you definitely want to be specific when you're asking for forgiveness and just make sure that you both agree on what the offense is, right? Because you may think one thing and they may think something else. So make sure you agree on that. Because sometimes we try to bury it internally only for it to put us in an emotional chokehold that leads to stunning our growth because we're carrying this baggage, this center block of this betrayal or this resentment. When someone hurts us, yeah, the first thing in mind, we do want to go back and be vengeful against that person or to react or respond. We don't have to. And because you forgive someone doesn't mean you have to let them back into your life, you can let it go personally and move on and not think about it. Yes, it was hurtful, yes, it was painful, but you don't have to carry it with you forever. If someone has wronged you, let it go. Yeah, also known as forgiving. All right, ladies, if you enjoyed this episode, tell another single mom. Maybe there's some dads out there that can also benefit from this episode. I started this podcast focusing on young single moms, but we're all human. And if we're parents, maybe you're married either way, you're still a parent, and this is applicable to you. It is because these are actual behaviors you're going to encounter throughout life. And just because some folks come from a two-parent household and some come from a single-parent household doesn't mean this is not applicable. So I would encourage you, if you appreciate or found value in this episode, tell another parent that there's some good stuff happening on the Mom to Mentor podcast. And if you enjoyed this episode, leave me some feedback. Yes, ma'am, yes, sir. You can go to my YouTube page and leave me some feedback there, or you can go to singlemsunited podcast.com and leave me some feedback there. And again, I am in the process of transitioning over everything to mom to mentor. That's mom number two mentor. In the very near future, I have some exciting news coming up related to that. So all of my faithful listeners get in position for some good news and some exciting changes coming to this podcast and to my website. So have a great day, a wonderful week, and a marvelous month. Take care.