Accountability Starts At Home

We explore how accountability shapes character, builds trust, and helps us raise kids who own their choices. We share personal stories, practical scripts, and the simple formula that turns tough moments into growth.

• defining accountability as owning decisions without blame
• why maturity is measured by ownership, not age
• accountability plus responsibility equals trust
• the cost of excuses, defensiveness, and victim mindset
• modeling ownership in relationships and red flags
• coaching kids with repair-focused questions
• turning correction into education at home
• building a family language of honesty and repair

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As Mom's we are more than nurturers we are Mentors to our children.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Purpose
• 2:55 Moms As Mentors And Models
• 5:02 Defining Accountability Clearly
• 7:45 Owning Hard Decisions In Parenting
• 10:12 Accountability, Maturity, And Trust
• 13:30 The Cost Of Blame And Excuses
• 16:40 Relationships, Red Flags, And Ownership

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hey ladies, welcome to the Mom to Mentor podcast, where this podcast is designed to encourage and motivate and most of all educate you when it comes to parenting and invite critical thinking skills. Now, if this is your first time joining, welcome. If you are a repeat listener, thank you for your loyalty. I tell you, I cannot express that enough for your return visits to this particular podcast, especially knowing there's so many other podcasts out there that you could be listening to. So thank you so very much. Hey, I'm not gonna prolong the time. I'm gonna get right down to it. I'm back to planting character seeds as it relates to how to grow this behavior in your child. You know, I often focus on saying, hey, do this with your child, etc., etc. But you know, this is good for you as well, mom. And I hope you're absorbing most of what I'm sharing with you today because you are going to have to pass this along, or at least you should, as your kids are growing up in this world, they're going to encounter a lot, so you have to mold them so that they can be in position to accept what comes their way, and there's going to be a lot that comes their way, and you should know that because you've experienced a lot, I've experienced a lot. So the Mom to Mentor podcast again is all about educating or education as it relates to our kids and to you. You are a mentor, you're more than a nurturer, you are or should be an example to your children because they're watching, they are watching you, they're watching your every move. When you think they aren't watching, they're watching and they're absorbing that. And guess what? That's creating their character. Now, again, if you don't teach them, somebody else will. And what you're gonna have to do when someone else teaches them and it goes against your values and your morals, guess what? Now you're getting in correcting mode or correction mode. That's where I was when I was raising my kids, starting a lot of correcting instead of just being proactive and educating and teaching them about what it means to encounter certain things in life and developing certain behaviors and so forth. So that's what this podcast is all about is me giving you the tools, the resources, so that you can be prepared to not only for yourself absorb this behavior and do better, right? There's always opportunity for us to do better. And then once we do better, then we can teach our child better. I've always said a good mom teaches, a bad mom doesn't. And yes, I fall in the category of being a bad mom because there were times I just didn't teach my children and I didn't know any better. But hopefully, ladies, based on this podcast, you can do better than I did because now I'm trying to equip you with how to do that, with how to be that strong example for your children and what you should be teaching your children. All right, now that I've gotten all that out the way, thank you for your patience. So, what am I talking about today? Talking about accountability. Yeah, accountability. What is it? It's required and expected to justify actions or decisions, being responsible. So, to bring it down to another level or to rephrase it, accountability is just owning your decisions and not placing blame. For instance, with our children, they're here, and for whatever reason, the father is not active or just not present for whatever reason. So we can't go back and say, oh, he's this, he's that, and da-da-da-da-da. And he may be, but guess what, ladies? If he didn't assault you and then you got pregnant, then guess what? You own this, right? You own the decision of having this child because you could have had an abortion. I'm glad you didn't, but you own the decision once you find out you were pregnant to say, yeah, I'm gonna have this baby, you know, whether he's here or not, I'm having this baby. And he may even promise at the beginning that, hey, I'm gonna be here to support you, and then for whatever reason, went left and said, See you, and that's another story for another time. But you own the decision to have the child, that's being accountable and being responsible. You made the decision of having sexual intercourse with dude, and you got pregnant. Okay, that's what happens, right? When you have unprotected sex, I'm just gonna keep it real, and but you stood up and said, you know what? Yes, I'm pregnant. I'm gonna have this child. I'm going to do this. So you've already met the expectation of accountability. Whoop, whoop. So give yourself a pat on the back or put those hands together and do a clap out loud because now you're taking ownership. You made a decision and you said, I'm gonna do this. Great job, ladies. You are well on your way as understanding what accountability looks like. So, why do we need accountability? It represents maturity when you own the decision you make. Yeah, so guess what? Even at the young age that you decided to have this child, you're still saying, Hey, I'm owning my decision, and that's the maturity part of this, is because now, you know, it we always link maturity to age, and that's not always the case. There's a lot of older people that are still immature, but when you own your decision, boom, boom, you go straight to the top, ma'am, and number one, as being mature and accepting your decision that you made to have your child and other decisions, not just this, but this one is major, but there's other decisions you've had to make and are going to have to make, and some of them are not going to turn out well, but you own it. I made the decision because that was the best decision at the time. So accountability and responsibility, they go hand in hand, they are linked. You are headed in the right direction, ladies, if you've made that decision to have that child, even though the father is not active, you're owning it. So that's great. I can't do anything but applaud you in that situation. Now, not being accountable for your decision is going to limit progression. Okay, so I've already given you kudos for making one of the most important decisions you'll ever make in your life. But then there are gonna be some decisions where it's not gonna turn out well, but you still need to own it because if you don't own it, it's gonna hinder your progression, it's gonna hinder your growth. It impacts trust when you don't own your decision. You start doing the blame game, right? It's everybody else's fault. You start making excuses because of what happened, right? You play the victim, and that's not okay. And you become defensive when it's brought to your attention. So again, if you had to lay the foundation of what accountability looks like again, it goes back to you accepting, hey, I'm a parent now, or I'm going to be a parent, right? And owning that. And you're not gonna blame it on him, although he was there, but you're not gonna blame it on him. You have to move in the same direction when it comes to other decisions, and I tell you, I can't count them on one hand or two hands. Decisions I made that weren't good, but I owned them. I didn't say so-and-so didn't tell me this or so-and-so didn't tell me. No, I owned it. You know what? Thought it was the best decision at the time based on the information I had. And so therefore, I went ahead and made the decision to do XYZ. And that's how you talk it off, mom. It was based on the information you had at the time. This doesn't become the blame game, this becomes I own it game, and I learned my lesson from it. And as you continue to go into relationships, mom, and the new dude is displaying the same characteristics as your baby's father, it's up to you to own it if he doesn't stick around. Okay, because you've already seen this behavior once, but you made the decision to say, oh, okay, well, he does this, he does that. Okay, but when he doesn't live up to expectations, hey, the red flags were there and you chose to ignore them. So, mom, this is not time to do the blame game and say he's this and he's that, and you ain't all of that excess, unnecessary, unproductive commentary related to his character isn't necessary because you allowed it. So own it and say, you know what? XYZ, he did this, and I don't like that, I don't need this in my next relationship. Yeah, and that's how you grow because you take that disappointment and say, you know what, I'm gonna do better the next time. And it's just that easy. And so now, once you start displaying that accountability or acknowledging your decisions, now you can teach your children when my kids were growing up and they'd be tussling in the house and they end up breaking something, and I would say, Who broke this? And they would look at each other and wouldn't say nothing. Okay, this what we're doing, okay. It's only the two of y'all, and this is what we're doing, okay. So nobody was accountable for the breaking of an item in my home. So they both got whoopings, right? But that was my so that's where I talk about correcting behavior, right? I'm correcting them not being accountable for breaking the item. But I should have put a comma behind the correcting and educated of what accountability means and where it's going to take them in the future. But no, I just corrected them because nobody owned up to, yeah, I broke it. It was me. I did it. And you know what? And had they stood up and were accountable for the action, they may not have gotten scolded. I'm pretty sure they probably wouldn't have, because now you're owning it, and it could have been an accident that they were tussling around and boom, and the face broke. Okay, life happens and so forth, but I need you to acknowledge that it was you that did it, and that's what we want to do with our children, moms, and explain to them why it's important, it's a direct link to trust. And if you ever want to be trusted, then this is some of the things you have to do as part of the process. So, ladies, I encourage you not only for your sake of being accountable, but teach your children the importance of accountability. It's gonna take them a lot further in life, it's going to help them in future relationships and encounters that they have with people, especially once they get into the workforce. Let's not place the blame game on your decisions, why it's important for you to own those decisions, because it's a direct link to trust. So if you don't take anything else away from this episode, just remember accountability plus responsibility equals trust. Hey, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you did, tell another single mom and leave me some feedback. If you're listening to me on YouTube, hey, leave notes in the comments and don't forget to subscribe to my channel. Have a great day, ladies. Take care.