Learning Is Not One Size Fits All

We talk about why parents need to see themselves as mentors, not just nurturers, and how that mindset changes the way we respond to school struggles. We break down what intellect really means, why learning differences are normal, and how our words can protect a child’s self-esteem for life. 

• shifting from correcting behaviour to teaching skills 
• why parents cannot outsource core lessons to schools 
• why “intellect” is a critical conversation at home 
• learning differences and the damage of comparison 
• a personal story about succeeding through hands-on learning 
• defining intelligence as capacity for complex learning 
• defining smart as quick, adaptive problem-solving 
• defining common sense as practical wisdom from experience 
• asking “Did you try?” and validating effort 
• keeping the door open for kids to share struggles 
• partnering with teachers through modern online communication 
• modifying learning at home using technology and hands-on practice 
• using ChatGPT to build a custom learning plan 

Hey, don’t forget to leave me some feedback if you enjoyed today’s episode. Leave me some feedback. Visit YouTube page, my Instagram site. Come on, let’s talk through these things, folks, and encourage one another. And then also tell another parent, tell another single mom, tell a mom that this podcast is available to help them as it relates to how to interact with our children and equipping them as it relates to for specifically for this episode around learning and the challenges of learning, and that they can overcome this in a positive manner.

https://singlemomsunitedpodcast.com/

As Mom's we are more than nurturers we are Mentors to our children.

Transcript

Welcome And Podcast Purpose

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey ladies, welcome to the Mom to Mentor podcast. If this is your first time joining, welcome. If you are a repeat listener, thank you so much for your loyalty. Hey, today is a good day. I hope you are experiencing great things and you have a positive outlook because things could be worse. Ask me how I know. Anyway, I'm gonna get right down to it today. Before I do though, I have updated my logo in the last episode. I promised that I was doing that. And if you like it, let me know. I would love to get your thoughts on what you think about it and if it accurately represents the podcast title, which is Mom to Mentor, reminding us we are more than just nurturers. We are more. We are our children's or our child's mentor. That means that we are giving them a positive example, a positive roadmap to life when they finally leave our home and say, Hey, mom told me that I was gonna encounter this, and this is how she handled it. And if there's some fellas listening, yeah, dad told me about this, and this is how he handled it. So I'm prepared. And that's what this podcast is all about. To remind you, you are more than just a nurturer, you are a mentor, you are your child's first teacher. And part of the issue that I encountered raising my children is I was always in correcting mode, correcting behaviors. I was never in teaching mode. And part of that is because I didn't know any better. That's why I have this podcast available for you so that you can do better as it relates to raising your children. And it all starts with teaching. Explaining to my children, or someone gives you something, you say thank you. You say excuse me when you walk in front of people, just some basic mannerisms. I did teach them that, but it's much more to being a parent than just teaching the basics. And no, we cannot put this on schools or other institutions to do what we're supposed to do. And why is that important? Because our children are gonna be with us lifelong. Yeah, till we die. But back to my original thought of we're more than just providers, we're more than just nurturers. All right, what am I talking about today? I am talking about intellect and why it's important to talk to your children about this. Because number one, they're gonna be going to school, right? Whether you're sending them to a physical building or you're doing homeschooling. And I know a lot of people are doing that now, given the climate of what's going on in some schools. That's crazy. When I went to school, we just had to worry about fire drills and tornado drills. Now they're doing active shooter drills. That's insane to me. But another story for another time. But when we go back and talk about intellect and the importance of what it is, because if we don't explain this very important topic, this is where a lot of us get off the highway and say, I can't do this, I'm not gonna be anything. Because here's the thing: we all learn differently. And I have both of my hands up. Yeah, you can't see it, but I have both of them up because I'm that one that learns differently. You can say, hey, go read this book, apply it, and so forth. And okay, I'll read it, but I won't retain it. And guess what? There are other people, and your children may be just like me. You may be just like me. You can put the book in front of some people all day long, okay, and say, This is how you're gonna be smart, this is how you're gonna be accessible, this is how you're gonna navigate life. And the reality is that's not applicable to me. And when I used to go through training and so forth, I would tell people, this is not how I learn. Okay, I'm gonna struggle a little bit. Now, I'm embarrassed to say that, but I have to reveal it because you're gonna wonder why. Why are you still way back here in the rest of the classes up here? Because that's not how I learn. I learn by doing hands-on. Put it in front of me, let me do it, and I can get it done, right? But unfortunately, the way curriculum and trainings are laid out today, they don't give a lot of hands-on. It's a lot of information, and you got to retain it and then recite it back. That doesn't work for me. And for a long time, and like others, it's wow, I feel really less than because I'm not learning like others are learning. It's taken me a few minutes to adjust. And that messes with your psyche, that messes with your self-esteem because of the fact that you feel like, wow, I really am less than these people are a lot smarter than me. So I'm gonna tell you a quick story and then I'm gonna dive into the topic a little more. But when I was in corporate, I was asked to develop a process that would help our agents to be better sellers, right? And so as I was developing that, now they told me this is what we need and so forth. And most people can go do their research and come back and put something together, and here it is. That's not me, right? But here's the good news: I was able to develop a process across four different call types to introduce to not only our domestic teams, but our global teams as well. Because I was able to get in and do hands-on and learn from the experience that way, and then build my structure so that I could present it back to them. I'm the only one in the corporate field that was ranked as outstanding for delivering such a powerful process to a sales team and two types of sales teams, right? And so I say that to say this. Wow, I'm not dumb at all. And we have to understand everybody learns different, and that's okay. That's okay. So when your child comes in and they bring that DN, what you should ask your mom and dad to your child, did you try? And if they say, Yeah, I tried and I just didn't get it, now you say that's okay. You have to come back and say that's okay, because everybody learns different. And once they get that confirmation from you that it's okay, guess what? You're gonna start seeing their self-esteem go up. You're gonna consistently start to see them try, at least try it. Did you talk to the teacher about it? And what did they say? And then you can have a separate conversation with the teacher. And now you can do all of that online. Back when my kids were growing up, I had to go to parent teacher conferences, right? To have that discussion about my child or my children. But now there's an easier way of having that discussion with the teachers outside of not having to go to the school, and that is awesome. All right, so what are the different levels of learning? Okay, so you have intelligence, which is intellectual capacity, the ability to learn, understand, and analyze complex information. An example of that would be understanding advanced physics or solving complex mathematical equations. Sounds like that's all linked to numbers. If you can solve some things related to numbers, that's good. That's not a bad thing because we have to deal with numbers every day, all day. All right, and then smart. Your clever quickness uh refers to someone sharp or quick-witted, often quick-witted, often applying knowledge quickly or being fashionable. So, an example of that would be quickly finding a loophole in a contract or giving a witty retort. Often describes someone who uses their intelligence well, making good decisions and solving problems efficiently. So you're smart, there's definitely a difference there. And if you notice, the smart definition is not linked to numbers, it is more being able to adjust and modify according to the environment that the person is in. That's what smart means or clever quickness. And then here's the big one. Here's my favorite one: common sense, practical wisdom, the ability to make sound practical decisions in daily life. It involves using experience, key word for me, to handle situations differently. An example of that is wearing a coat when it's cold or not touching a hot stove. You just don't do that. That's common sense. You touch a hot stove, you're gonna get burnt. You don't put on a coat and it's cold outside, you're gonna be cold. It's just that simple. Why do we need to understand the difference as it relates to intellect? Many people quietly carry the belief that they are less capable simply because others seem to grasp knowledge more quickly or easily. This belief ignores an essential truth. Learning is not a one size fits all. I'm gonna say that again. Learning is not a one size fits all, and you have to embed this into your child the sooner, the better, the earlier the better, because if you don't do it now, they're gonna get into school and they're gonna wonder, wow, how come I'm not able to keep up? And it's not that they're slow or have some type of mental issue, they just learn differently. How do I know? How do I know I was able to function in an organization for years, and I moved throughout the organization based on my experience and learning differently and really getting in tune to what people wanted. I can't get that from a book. I didn't get it from a book. Same thing with your child. So again, moms, dads, please have that door open. Your child can come and talk to you about things that they're struggling with in school. It's going to make a difference. Because once they feel like I'm not smart as anyone, that's embedded in them, not only mentally, but in their heart. They're always gonna go through and develop that low self-esteem that I can't get it done. I'm not as good as everyone else. And you don't want that mom, you don't want that dad. And even if you are struggling with self-esteem issues because you learn differently, it's okay. It's okay. As somebody that learns differently, I never would have expected to achieve as much as I did because I'm not book smart. Okay. If you want to call it street smart, that's fine. Whatever term you want to use, just know me and books don't get along. It's just that simple. And for others, it's just that simple as well. All right, now that you know the difference between the three, why it's important, long story short, it's going to impact self-esteem. It's gonna impact progression. And that's how some people see low self-esteem and they manipulate people because of that. But you want to go back and encourage your child that it's okay. If you didn't get that, it's okay. Because I remember asking my kids, did you try? That's all I need to know. And if you didn't get it after you tried, okay, it's okay. Let's try to figure something out where we can get this to work better for you than you trying to adjust to curriculum that's already been identified. And matter of fact, who put that together? Probably somebody that's book smart. So my response or what I would recommend to schools, so if it's a teacher listening, please modify your curriculum to be delivered in multiple ways. Yeah, it's not a one size fits all, it's not. Some people can grasp book knowledge and do it and this and very fluent in it, and some people can't. But I get I bet you this if the tables were turned and you delivered the curriculum based on, again, street smarts, common sense, and you bring a person in that is book smart and they wouldn't be successful. Yeah. And it's not because they're not smart, it's they learn differently, but they would flunk out on life when you're presented with doing common sense type of things or getting in the weeds and getting that experience. They were flunk. Remember, encourage your children, let them know it's not a one size fits all, and it's okay, but they have to come and talk to you that they're struggling. And make sure you have that door open that they can come and talk to you about that, because that's what's going to make the difference. Because now you can work with the teacher, the school to help develop a curriculum, or build something at home specific for your child. And guess what? Technology is here for you to be able to do that. That's the good news. That's the because you're gonna say, I don't know where to start. Yeah, you better pull up Chat GPT and say, here's the issue. This is what's going on. Help me develop a plan to help my child with their school work that doesn't involve going through the book, but giving them practical experience and practical advice for them to be successful as it relates to learning this particular topic. All right, folks, thank you. I know you heard the passion in my voice today because this is something very serious. And why is it very serious to me? As I explained in the beginning, I'm that one that learns differently. I'm that one that can't go by the book. That's me. And so again, along life's journey, I felt less than because I wasn't grasping it as quickly as others were. Yeah. All right, you all have a great day. A fantastic month. Hey, don't forget to leave me some feedback if you enjoyed today's episode. Leave me some feedback. Visit YouTube page, my Instagram site. Come on, let's talk through these things, folks, and encourage one another. And then also tell another parent, tell another single mom, tell a mom that this podcast is available to help them as it relates to how to interact with our children and equipping them as it relates to for specifically for this episode around learning and the challenges of learning, and that they can overcome this in a positive manner. All right, you all have a great day. Take care.