Raising Confidence: Can Change How Your Child Faces Hard Days

Encouragement is not just something nice we say when things go well. It is the fuel that teaches a child, deep down, “I can do this,” even when the grade is low, the plan falls apart, or life feels unfair. We get real about how our words land, especially for parents carrying a lot, and why mentoring matters more than rescuing.

We walk through practical positive parenting tools you can use immediately to build confidence in kids and raise resilient children: praising effort instead of outcomes, asking “Did you try?” after a disappointing result, and calmly uncovering the why so you can actually help. We also talk about partnering with teachers, using chores and responsibilities to develop leadership skills, and letting children make small choices that build decision-making. Along the way, we share why safe spaces for mistakes matter, how modeling “try again” teaches grit, and why praising character traits like kindness, honesty, and courage can stick longer than appearance-based compliments.

You will also hear simple connection habits that strengthen trust at home: affirming language like “You matter” and “I’m proud of you,” listening without interrupting, and spending intentional one-on-one time by putting the phone down for an hour. If you want to mentor with love, reduce power struggles, and help your child solve problems without you fixing everything, this conversation will give you a clear place to start. Subscribe, share with a parent who needs encouragement, and leave a review with what you want to hear next.

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As Mom's we are more than nurturers we are Mentors to our children.

Transcript

Encouragement As Real Fuel

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Encouragement isn't just praise. It's the fuel that helps children believe they can achieve. Try again and grow stronger every single day. And as parents, especially those of us doing this journey solo, our words carry a power that can shift a child's entire world. So today I'm sharing how intentional encouragement builds confidence, resilience, and a sense of I can do this in our kids, even when life tries to tell them otherwise.

Parenting With Purpose As A Mentor

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Hey everybody, welcome to the Mom to Mentor podcast, where we raise leaders, build confidence, and remind our children that greatness lives inside them. If you're ready to parent with purpose and mentor with love, hey, come on, stay with me. This episode is just for you. And that brings me right to our topic for today.

Guide Through Struggles Without Rescuing

SPEAKER_00 1:22

How to guide children through challenges without rescuing them quickly. Encouragement is the foundation, but mentoring means helping them navigate the hard moments. I'm a single mom of two. And there's some things that I learned along life's journey that I wish I would have known back then, as I was attempting to be the best mom that I could be and raising my children. But there are going to be uncomfortable moments and the I don't know what to do moments. Yeah, I had a lot of those. Let's talk about how to support your child or children while still allowing them to grow through a struggle. I'm going to share with you ways to encourage your child or your children through giving you some practical advice. Now keep in mind, this is not a one size fits all. This podcast is designed to make you think, right? Because some things you might say that's not really applicable to me. But hopefully it will cause you to think and say, hmm, that makes sense, but let me try it this way. That's what this is all about. Let's get the party started. Ways to encourage your children. I'm just gonna go down through a series of options for you to consider and try because you never know what's not going to work, right? So I encourage you to try these. Again, life isn't easy. We don't get it right all the time, but at least make an attempt, right? At least try. All right.

Praise Effort Over The Outcome

SPEAKER_00 3:17

Name the effort, not just the outcome. I see you worked hard on that. Teaches them that trying matters as much as winning. Yeah, did you try? That's all that counts, I know. When my kids were in school, and maybe they didn't bring home an A. And my question was, did you try? Yeah, that's the critical part. Did you try? Because if you tried, then I'm still gonna encourage you because that's all I'm asking you to do. If they do, that's wonderful. But they're not, and so we got to get in position not to jump on them and why'd you bring this C in the house? Why'd you bring this D in the house? A better way of approaching that is did you try? And when you tried, what were you thinking? Right. And I don't mean that negatively, but when you tried, what started that thought process for you? Because that's gonna help you uncover their method of going out and learning this particular subject, right? And they just may not have understood what the teacher was talking about and was afraid to ask the teacher. I know I was when I was in school. I don't want people to know because I would have felt dumb, right? Excuse me, teacher. I don't, I have no idea what you're talking about. And in reality, that is the case. But just like myself, and maybe you didn't feel comfortable with raising your hand to get clarification because everybody was looking at you. When you uncover the why, then you're able to go back and talk to the teacher privately. Or, yeah, and even now, since you have access to email, you know, say, little Johnny just didn't feel comfortable with raising his hand about XYZ topic. How can he have this conversation with you after class? Or can I get with you and you share that with me if I share with you what his concern is? And then you can work on it at home. But you gotta understand the why. You have to make the attempt. And then again, don't jump on them. Please, moms, don't beat them up. If they bring in that D or an F, oops, yeah. Because if they tried and still didn't succeed, there could be a hidden agenda happening for them not to be successful with that particular subject. That's why you got to go to parent-teacher conferences. That's why you got to develop a relationship with that teacher so you can partner together for your child or your children. All right, let me keep it moving.

Small Wins And Real Responsibility

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Celebrate small wins. Yeah. You did that all by yourself. Oh, that is awesome, little Johnny, little Susie. Keep it going. Give them responsibilities. And for those of you that have heard prior episodes, you know, I'm all about chores and making sure there is a chore chart in your home. Once they leave your home, they're gonna be responsible for taking care of themselves and getting things done. So why not start now? Embed in them what it means to be responsible. And again, that's what chores do. And it develops leadership skills, moments that show you trust them to get it done. Yeah. And so, moms, that's why it is extremely important that you give your child responsibilities. And they may not get it right the first time, the first few times. And that's where your mentoring, your coaching comes into play. Yeah, because I remember me myself, my mom used to tell me to sweep the basement. And I'm like, oh boy, yee. And so, and I get the broom and I just sweep certain areas. And she came down and said, Did you move this? Did you do that? And I'm like, No, ma'am. Yeah. Her expectation was when she asked me to sweep, or rather told me to sweep, I needed to move stuff around and get in the corners and really sweep, not just those open areas. Your child responsibilities, it's gonna pay off. I promise you. Let them make choices, choosing their clothes, snacks, and activities builds decision-making skills. Ask them for their opinion. It tells them their voice matters.

Model Failure And Safe Mistakes

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Model trying again. Let them see you fail. Yeah, and you are. Ask me how I know. I fail multiple times so many times that I can't even put a number behind it, but it happens. But I didn't stay down. I went back and retried again. You can too. So let them see things not work out like it was planned because disappointments happen. Be ready for it. And that's how you prepare them. Yep, you learn from it. You just don't, oops, I messed up and keep moving. No, I messed up and understand why you messed up. All right, create safe spaces for mistakes. Respond with guidance instead of frustration. Again, nobody's perfect. It's going to happen, but we learn from it. Praise character traits. If they're extremely kind, patient, honest, courageous, you want to go ahead and follow up with that and with appreciation, saying, Hey, you did an awesome job. You're very kind, and that's what I like to see. Keep that going because it makes you look good. We always talk about the external view of what we look like, but what about that internal view of how we respond to different things, right? So learn how to complement their inner self, not just the outward appearance, but their inner self, because a lot of times that's going to go a lot further and stay a lot longer than your outer appearance because as we age, things change. But if you're naturally kind, you're naturally patient, those things aren't going to change. They're actually going to grow with you. And it's a beautiful trait to have, or traits, excuse me.

Curiosity And Problem Solving Skills

SPEAKER_00 10:49

Encourage curiosity. Let them ask questions without shutting them down. I recently had a specific episode about a comma versus a period. And that links back to that, right? We don't say I don't know, period, and move on. We say, I don't know, let me find out. Yeah. Teach them how to bring big tasks into small steps because it reduces overwhelm and builds competence. Show excitement about their interests, even if it's something you don't personally love. Now, for me, I'm not a pet person. And I know my daughter, she wanted a puppy. And yeah, I appreciate, but how can we get a stuffed animal? Can we compromise there? I'm not too comfortable with having a dog in the house or a puppy in the house. And again, it's additional expenses. And so I really can take care of it and it has to eat just like we do. And right now there's a struggle with feeding the three of us. So those are the kinds of conversations you have. And so it's not just that no, you can't have a puppy, but it's no, this is why you can't have a puppy. All right. Give them room to solve problems. Don't rush to fix everything for them. Let them figure it out or attempt to figure it out. And you'll find that it's going to be quite amazing how they approach things. And matter of fact, you're probably going to learn something from their thought process of trying to resolve that issue. Yeah, because everybody thinks different. And matter of fact, our kids are so smart, they're going to come up with stuff we we never even thought about. I know I have, or I did, and I was like, how'd you do that? Because I would have gone this way, and you're going this way. But we reached the same destination. So allow your child to explore their own thoughts and solve problems on their

Affirming Words And One On One Time

SPEAKER_00 13:14

own. Use affirming language daily. You matter. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you is one of my favorite phrases. I like to hear when people come to me, even my mom, when she told me, I'm proud of you. That has and is, it's sticking with me when I got my degrees and she made the statement, I'm proud of you. And I don't think I ever heard that phrase before I got my degrees. It's the fact that she made that statement and it stays with me. Learn how to integrate I'm proud of you into your interactions with your children. Spend intentional one-on-one time. Children feel encouraged when they feel seen. So, mom, I challenged a while ago. And again, for those of you that have been following me, thank you. I appreciate you. I challenge, put the phone down for one hour. Just put it down and just have a conversation with your child or your children. Now, I, if you have multiple children, then you would definitely want to do two separate conversations, right? So that there's no competitiveness, nobody's interrupting. You're just having that dialogue with that one child at that particular moment because you're gonna find out some things or their point of view and that they don't feel less damn. Let them help you. Again, cooking, cleaning, volunteering, organizing, because it builds confidence and connection.

unknown 15:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

If you can, try to schedule some time out to do those things, to let them help you so that they can understand exactly what you're going through. And then sometimes what that's going to do is it's going to take some of that stress off of them wanting stuff. Because if they know you're going through a particular situation and you're frustrated and things aren't working out, they can see that. So they're not going to ask you for 10 bucks to go to the movies or go do this and that and the other. Because now they've experienced what you're going through. And a good child is going to be like, you know what? I'm going to let mom stay over there and work through her situation versus coming back and being totally cold and saying, can I have? And then next thing you know, you're getting upset. You get out of my face, can't you see up? And then the yelling starts, and you don't want that. But if you invite them to engage in one-on-one time or to help you figure some things out, that's gonna help pave the way for that.

Progress Over Perfection Mindset

SPEAKER_00 16:27

Teach them to set goals and celebrate progress, not perfection, progress. Yeah. Encourage them to try new things: sports, arts, reading, community service. Listen without interrupting, mom. It tells them their thoughts are valuable. Show consistent belief in them, even when they doubt themselves. Speak life over them. Remind them of their strengths, their gifts, and potential. And I think that's something you need to do every day. And if you can't get it in every day, get it in once a week, a couple of times during the week. But that encouragement goes a long way.

Encouragement As A Long Investment

SPEAKER_00 17:24

At the end of the day, encouragement is more than words, it's an investment. Every time you speak into your child, you're planting confidence, resilience, and identity that will carry them far beyond your presence. Because remember, moms, we can't be with them always. And then eventually we got to leave this earth. So you need to start planting some seeds now. And the good news is it's not too late to get started. That's the good news in all of this. So you're not just raising a child, you're shaping a future leader. So keep showing up, keep speaking strength, keep mentoring with intention. Because when a mom becomes a mentor, a child becomes unstoppable.

Share Feedback And Keep Leading

SPEAKER_00 18:38

If this episode encourages you, share with another mom or dad. Because every moment you teach is a moment you lead. Now don't forget to leave me some feedback. If you enjoyed this episode, I would love to hear from you. And if you have a topic you would like for me to discuss, I would love to hear from you. If you taught your child something and it's producing some really good results, I would love to hear from you. And invite you to be a guest on my show and also put your testimony, and I don't know what the proper word is, or put your feedback on my website of something you taught because it may encourage another single mom or another parent. So leave me some feedback. Let me know. You have a wonderful day, a fantastic month. You take care.