Ep. 80 What If It Was Easy? Intuition, Feminine Power & Spacious Success — with Elizabeth Hope Derby

Welcome back to the HEAR HER podcast!

In this expansive and empowering conversation, Heather sits with Elizabeth Hope Derby—business coach, intuitive guide, and bridge between strategy and soul—to explore what it really means to build a life and business that feels spacious, aligned, and deeply supportive.

Together, they dive into over-responsibility, the “parentified daughter” pattern, and the invisible rules that keep women overworking, overthinking, and disconnected from their own truth. Elizabeth shares how intuition, feminine power, and self-trust aren’t separate from success—they are the foundation of it.

This conversation is an invitation to slow down, clear the clutter, and ask a powerful question:

What if it was easy?

We Explore:

• The “parentified daughter” pattern and over-responsibility
• Why overworking and overwhelm aren’t just “how it is”
• Clearing mental clutter in your brain and your business
• Intuition as a source of clarity, conviction, and direction
• The difference between strategic problems and energetic blocks
• Modern feminine power and what it actually looks like
• Creating spaciousness as a pathway to presence and joy
• Letting go of invisible rules and people-pleasing patterns
• Why confidence comes through practice—not perfection

We Mention:

• Wild Woman Project - https://thewildwomanproject.com/ 

Connect with Today’s Guest

Website: https://elizabethhopederby.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elizabethderby/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@elizabethhopederby
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabethhderby/
Podcast: Everyday Unicorn — https://elizabethhopederby.com/for-individuals/podcast/

Free Resources from Elizabeth
✨ 5-Minute Inner Guidance Meditation:
http://elizabethhopederby.com/reset
✨ Monthly Moon Mapping Workbook: 
bit.ly/moon-mapping
✨ Free Training — Use Your Intuition in Your Business: 
bit.ly/intuition-training-series

Work with Heather

✨ Join the HEAR HER Sisterhood – Email us divinelysensitive@gmail.com to receive a direct invitation as we slowly open the back door for the women who are ready! We're waiting with open arms.💗
✨ Book a Session at OverSoul – In-person sessions: Energy Medicine, Reiki, Private Sound Bath, and personalized healing packages available https://oversoulhealingcenter.janeapp.com/#/staff_member/35

Let’s Stay in Touch
📧 Join the Email Community – https://artisanal-teacher-5816.kit.com/2212c835d6

📸 Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/divinelysensitive/
📘 Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/hearherpodcast
💌 Email – divinelysensitive@gmail.com

Thank You for Listening
If this episode resonated, you’re invited to like, subscribe, or share the podcast—it helps this work reach the hearts it’s meant for.

Until next time, may you remember to quiet the chaos, tune inward, and HEAR HER.

Transcript

Heather 0:06

Hello, lovely listeners and welcome back to another episode of the Hear Her podcast. It is so wonderful to be here with you if you're new around here. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I'm Heather, founding mother of Divinely Sensitive, an energy doula and spiritual guide. Us Walking Women Home to themselves and at the heart of my work is the Hear her sister. An online space to come home to yourself again and again and again. It's a place to explore your intuition at your own pace, rooted in the sacred feminine, the seasons, and the natural world. Inside, you'll find monthly guided journeys. Meditations, Oracle Readings, live gatherings. Simple yet potent practices and so much more. All alongside a loving community of like-hearted women, learning to trust themselves in these uncertain times. So if you're feeling the pull for connection or support, there's a link in the show notes to join our online community. And if you're local to the Charlottesville area or passing through, come see me at Overs, soul Healing Center. It's such a cozy spot. I offer Reiki, private sound, bath, and intuitive energy medicine sessions. I would love to meet you where you are.

Speaker 2 1:43

Today's guest just kept popping up for me over the years. Somehow I signed up for her emails a long time ago. And I remember just loving that she was mixing like Oracle cards and that she hosted moon circles and she was, you know, weaving this all together as a business coach. I actually attended one of her online moon circles. I think maybe it was during the pandemic. And when I decided I wanted to speak with local women, I knew I wanted to include her to get to know her a little bit better and to amplify the light that she's shining in the world. And I was so glad when she agreed to spend some time with me on the podcast. Elizabeth Hope Derby is a business coach for highly responsible women who've been running their own businesses for two plus years, but spend their work days feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and distracted. Instead of focused and in flow, She helps them crack the code on their version of success, helping them structure their business schedule and mindset to maximize their pleasure, minimize irritation, and maintain or grow their income. Using a mix of self-trust, coaching, intuitive healing, and sharp business strategy. Elizabeth's specialty is clearing the clutter and chaos from women's overworked brains and businesses so they can finally spend their precious time and energy on what matters most to them. She's passionate about liberating the creative life force that's been trapped inside, hidden complexity, outdated systems, and years of performing, pleasing and over. Responsibility. Elizabeth brings a background in Fortune 500 brand strategy, creative writing and marketing leadership to her coaching, and is known for her mix of sharp thinking, soulful presence, and irreverent humor. She's spoken to audiences ranging from five to 5,000 and delivered keynotes and workshops for organizations like Proctor and Gamble, clavet, and the Quad Multiplicity Women's Conference as a former journalist, she's interviewed hundreds of creative entrepreneurs and cultural innovators, including David Decoy and the designer behind Beyonce's Super Bowl, dress As a speaker and a coach, Elizabeth brings women out of the grind of overwork and into the creative, calm, and deeply joyful business lives. They were always meant to lead. You are in for such a treat today. I am so excited to share this intuitive conversation with you. Okay, my loves. Here we go.

Heather 4:29

Elizabeth, welcome, welcome, welcome to the Hear Her podcast. It is so good to be here with you.

Elizabeth 4:35

I am just thrilled to be here. Yay.

Heather 4:37

Yeah. Okay, my lovely listeners. It is time. It is time for us to ground in to the present moment, so inviting you to feel your feet on the ground., I invite you to close your eyes if that feels good for you, to allow your body to just be where it is in this moment. Leaving behind shame and judgment, just bringing in awareness. To how your body is feeling right now. You might be noticing some areas that are tense or heavy, inviting you to stretch into those places. Breathe into those places. You may notice some places in your body feel light and joyful, inviting you to embrace that and to breathe. And the invitation is here to place your hands over your heart, if that feels good, and to just hold yourself for a moment. Spirit is sharing that so many people listening right now are givers, caretakers, maybe over givers, maybe people pleasers. And so we're being asked in this moment to show ourselves the love that we show others to take this moment and this time for ourselves, and we're being invited to breathe in honor of being present. Breathe. On this next exhale, letting go of anything that was happening before we landed here together. And on your next exhale, letting go of anything that's happening. After you're finished listening, letting it go for the moment, knowing it'll be there, waiting for you when you are complete here with us and giving yourself the gift of being here now. Of being present, allowing yourself to be held, showing yourself the love that you give others. And something is coming in an invitation to just take one little moment right now, breathing and asking, what can I do for myself today? What is one small thing that I can do for me today? Just breathing that in. Seeing what rises to the surface. How can you care for yourself today? One small way. Beautiful. And we're gonna take one last slow deep breath together. Here we go. And when you feel complete, inviting you to open your eyes and land here in the present moment with Elizabeth and myself, it's so good to be here with you.

Elizabeth 9:09

So good to be here. Thank you for that. That was beautiful.

Heather 9:12

Hmm. You're welcome. You're welcome. I love doing that for myself, and I think it's nice for everyone else as well.

Elizabeth 9:19

Totally.

Heather 9:20

To just tap in and take that moment as, as we know, the world is chaotic and we are constantly moving. So,

Elizabeth 9:27

totally

Heather 9:28

allowing ourselves those moments of stillness is such a gift. Such a gift. So Elizabeth, starting how we always do on the Hear Her Podcast, share with us how you sprinkle your magic in the world.

Elizabeth 9:43

Ugh. Such a great question. I immediately thought of the tub of sprinkles in my closet. I have two little boys and I'm on the picky eating adventure. Um, with my older child, I was very picky eater, so it's fine. But one of the things we need to have on hand to ensure that something healthy is consumed is sprinkles, because we put it on yogurt. And I call it ice cream. I mean, to be clear, we also know what ice cream is, but I, I personally love sprinkles. I have a deep and abiding love for sprinkles, considering it's just food coloring and wax. It's not even a real food, but I love them. Um, and yeah, I mean, sprinkle is, it's like probably two of my favorite words in one phrase because I love sprinkles and I love magic. I love it. I, when I was little, um, I had a very clear, uh, I think I was about, hmm, maybe like eight. I had a very clear, um, sort of spiritual channeling connection to everything that is in this beautiful field full of trees and like, you know, that sense of divine love and connection that we all feel that I know all of your listeners feel. Um, that's the first time I remember. Feeling very wrapped up in it.

Heather 11:13

Mm.

Elizabeth 11:15

Held by it. I know I've been connected to it since before I was born, but, um, I don't have a ton of memories of when I was really little. So that was like one of the first times I remember that so clearly. And I just felt like it was magic. I felt magic. And so when I, I have a, I'm a big fan of quotes and little pretty little things that I put around my office to inspire me and make me happy with color and, and meaningful phrases. And somewhere I have something that says, um, all I see is magic. And for me it's like genuinely I believe, right? We all have this connection to divine intelligence and wisdom and every being. What we classify as living or non-living like, that we're all connected by these threads and that that's the magic.

Heather 12:13

Mm-hmm.

Elizabeth 12:14

And it creates so much, so many experiences that feel magical. Um, so yeah, sprinkling magic, I'm like here for both of them. Yeah. You know, I'm here for all of it. And, uh, yeah. And so the way I like to do that, um, there's this sort of the inner way that happens that I do it for myself and then the ways I like to do it for other people. So, um, my son gets literal sprinkles. Uh, he also gets my love, which is even better than sprinkles. So I know as, as a parent and as a partner and as a friend and as a family member, I know that the energy and the love that I carry for others is very sincere. I don't, um, I don't pour out my life force where it's, it's not going to be honored and really going to, I think, fuel and serve others. It's just a very clear, you know, boundary and distinction that I've, I've deepened into as I've gotten older. And so I know that's a way of sprinkling magic for other people. But then I'm also a business owner, and so when I work with clients, that is one of my favorite ways of sprinkling magic, because that's the work really. I mean, I'm sure everyone on your podcast can relate to this, whether they're business owners or not. It's like we want to feel connected to our own magic. We want to feel connected to. Other people. We don't wanna feel lonely. We wanna feel fulfilled, we wanna feel powerful, we wanna feel creative, we wanna feel abundant. And all of those things come from our relationship with ourselves and our relationships with others.

Heather 14:03

Mm-hmm.

Elizabeth 14:04

Um, and our connection with that magical, magical essence, I think that is so driven by love and generosity. Generosity towards others, but also generosity towards self. Like you were talking about meditation. It's like, um, I think those of us in this space can be over givers. And I, you said, and I tend to work with people who are, um, highly responsible eldest daughter types. You know, the folks who are used to handling a lot and typically high achievers, typically. Um. Independent, uh, sometimes to a fault. There's a classification I learned about not long ago, um, called a parentified daughter. And so that's someone who, for whatever reason, circumstances growing up required that they matured, right? And maybe took on more than they in an ideal world would've taken on as a child. And so that, um, parentification causes a lot of us women to those of us who've experienced this. Uh, we enter into adulthood with, um, an over a tendency toward over responsibility, toward overthinking, toward overmanaging, toward overworking. But it doesn't feel like something that we. Overdoing. It just feels like life is a lot and it's always a lot and it's really hard. And yes, it's overwhelming and sure it gets frustrating, but man, oh man, this is just how it is. And the truth is, it's not just how it is. It's not how it needs to be. Um, and so what I'm working with clients, usually what we're doing is, the way I've been thinking about it lately is I feel like I'm a Marie Kondo type, but I'm doing it for your brain and your business. Yeah. So it's like we're gonna just, there's a lot of mental glitches that keep us over functioning, right? We think, oh, we can't possibly charge more or separately. Provide less or not be as communicative or take longer to respond to an email, or, there's a lot of these kind of invisible rules that we've absorbed from culture, that we've absorbed from our nervous system response to what we perceive as unsafety, uh, and or attempts to prevent it. You know, like if you grow up in circumstances where you have to grow up fast. You tend to be pretty controlling and it's a defense mechanism and that's fine. And you know what, listen, control is great. I love control. Like I'm not here to knock control, but also to acknowledge that there are some things we try and control or try and do for others is actually not in service to them. And it's not in service to us. So I'm usually picking apart, um, I'm usually working with my clients at the highest level. The the, this is all the stuff that I know right as the coach. But I think when I'm working with, with my clients, it's just like, Hey, listen, what feels sticky and icky and like you're totally over it in your business. And also, um, where are you frustrated? Where are you not doing the things you know you need to do? Where are you not making progress despite the fact that you've given it your all or you think it should be working and you just can't figure your way out of that box? You know? 'cause that's usually how women like us experience that. It's like we're hitting our, we're bumping against ceilings and walls and we don't know why. Um. And so, yeah. So then it's a combination of mindset work and also like restructuring stuff. Um, because when you start letting go of over responsibility and overthinking, um, it cr instantly creates a lot of spaciousness, which is so nice. And I love a good physical declutter too. Mm-hmm. Um, I live in a pretty small house and because there are four of us, it's like I have people come over and they're like, oh, this is like an Ikea house. I'm like, oh, thank you. No. To me, that's like a huge compliment. Yeah. Yeah. Um, because to me space is one of the greatest luxuries and spaciousness allows presence. Mm-hmm. And it allows connection to intuition and it allows, uh, receiving and enjoying of. The richness that we already possess. Mm. And I think that's ultimately what is frustrating for people who are working really hard, uh, probably working harder than they'd like to be, who are overscheduled or who are over functioning, or who are just like full of emotional and logistical burdens. Like when you're in that place, you don't wanna be so distracted. You don't wanna be so, um, pulled out of the present moment. You don't wanna not be with your children when you finally have a chance to be with them or be frustrated and resentful beyond what is probably just normal to be frustrated and resentful depending on what age your kids are. Um, you know, you want to like actually have time to make art. And if that's your thing, you know, like I love crafting, I love crafting and I've accepted this is not my season to do it with tiny children, um, except for parties, which I also love. But. There's a lot of goodness and abundance that we possess and we know we possess. And you can't just slap a, I should be grateful on it. 'cause that actually can make it worse. Then it just becomes like a, a, a way that we further criticize ourselves or punish ourselves or hold ourselves to an unfair standard versus, no, you're allowed to just enjoy your life and live a good life and feel safe doing it. Hmm. Um, that's allowed. But for a lot of us, we just don't, we, we, we don't have experience with that being Okay. Yeah. And we don't know how to create it. So instead we sort of build. Businesses and schedules and relationships from this place of what do I need to do to survive versus what do I need to do that will feel really life giving to me. Mm. Um, and in alignment with my values. So, long answer, but I know this is an intuitive conversation, so. Yeah. No, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. Yeah. So, so as, what's coming up for me is I, I took a little time with your, with your website over the last couple days and I wrote down a couple things that came up for me. So, as you're talking about spaciousness and, and helping women who are overachievers and business, like some of the things that listeners really attracted me, um, to Elizabeth. 'cause you might be like, why, why do you have a business coach on here? You know? But I believe that intuition weaves into every profession. And so I'm gonna first share with you under, in your website, under my approach, there were two things that I was like, oh, this is so good. So if you're looking for a business coach, and these are the things that you're looking for, pay attention listeners. Tapping into natural cycles

21:37

mm-hmm.

Heather 21:38

Was the first one, which I think is incredible because, you know, as you were talking about all of those things, it's like, what was coming up for me was like, and we're all different and we all have different cycles. And we, as you're saying, like, well it depends on what, where your kids are and what your life is like. And there are so many moving facets, right? And so going by natural cycles, whether it's the natural world or your own cycle, which are reflection, right? They're both a reflection, um, is so important. Especially in business.

22:09

Yes.

Heather 22:09

Especially in business. And then the other thing was embracing modern feminine power. I would love for you to talk about that for a minute.

22:17

Yes. Thank you for. Letting me talk about that. Yeah. So, um, you know, it was just, it was Mother's Day recently and my husband, who I adore, uh, got me this sticker, so I'm gonna show it to you 'cause we're on camera, but I'll read it. Yeah. It's got a rainbow and flowers and it says it's a beautiful day to smash the patriarchy. And so I, I, you know, I think, um, funnily enough, I've never taken any kind of class in feminism. I wouldn't say like, I mean, I consider myself a feminist, but I don't, when I think of feminine power, I don't think of that as something that's, uh, allocated to a particular sex or gender. I think that the feminine archetype is something we all possess and we are, I. We're lucky, I think, to live in a time when we talk about modernity and modern feminine power. We're lucky to live in a time when women have been given social freedoms enough to experience what happens when they're allowed to make their own decisions, and they get some of the resources to do it. Mm. Um, and I bring up patriarchy and feminism simply because I believe it's the work of women who are aware of the value of feminine power to acknowledge that we're not operating inside a balanced and fair system. We're operating inside a system. And I mean, intersectional, when I'm talking about this, I mean it in an intersectional way. I want to be clear, like patriarchy is not the only problem. I'm just talking about that as the, because that's often what comes up when we talk about feminine power. It's like we live in a culture that overvalues, um, what I would call toxic masculine ideals. Mm-hmm. And undervalues healthy feminine energy. Mm-hmm. Healthy feminine energy, as I experience it, is the ability to feel your feelings. Mm-hmm. Not make it wrong. The ability to receive and just say, thank you, this is wonderful. And to allow much the same way a parched soil would absorb water. And use that to nurture plants and to grow a better ecosystem. That's what receiving is. Mm-hmm. You know, when you're able, I said earlier, being generous, like you can be generous with yourself and that allows you to be generous with others. And that's a feminine superpower. Mm-hmm. It is just to receive it, you don't have to constantly be doing the watering, you get to absorb, and then by virtue of the way you operate, not always, so like, I'm plenty selfish plenty of the time. That's not what I'm saying, but like you are, you are able to give back through the way that you operate when you are fully resourced.

Heather 25:38

Mm. Um,

25:39

and it, I think the other thing that modern feminine power, as I experience it, um, advocates for is, is equity, is, um. A give and a take. So it's not that feminine energy doesn't have, I think sometimes there's this, I think sometimes there's an idea that masculine power, healthy masculine power is the power that gets things done. And that feminine power is like the part that rests, oh, and by the way, I do think rest is a feminine superpower. Um, did I already say intuition? Isn't intuition the most obvious one? Like you're her baby. Yeah. Let's listen to her. Oh, and you know, the way I view the world and believe, and I, I think you and I are in alignment with this, it's like, God, if you just, if you just hear her, if you just listen to your intuition, you're gonna get all the answers you need to live in. Harmony and in generosity and in truth with all the ecosystems you're a part of. Mm-hmm. You know, I don't think we need to change who we are. I think we live inside a structure, which is a patriarchal, it's, it's a lot of other things, right? It's like capitalist and white supremacist and all this stuff. But it's inside a patriarchal structure, um, that says who you are, these intuitive hits you get and this need to slow down and this need to sleep and this craving for more, the desire to receive more, um, of the good stuff and to the rage that wants to burn away the injustice and all the bullshit, you know, like that those things need to be. Quieted down and tamped down and mellowed out and chilled out and cut out and maybe just eliminated or entirely sanitized, and we'll pretend they don't even exist. That to me comes from patriarchal thinking. Mm. Because it's a, it's a disavow of the power of the feminine. And if we know how powerful the feminine is, we owe it to ourselves and to others, to everyone, no matter what gender they identify as. We owe it to each other and to ourselves to, to reclaim that first for ourselves. Hmm. That's why it's important to do business your way. That's why it's important to do life your way and find the balance between overgiving and, um, you know, never giving anything that there, there is a sweet spot. That middle path is the sweet spot. Yes. And it's easy to go, but you know, and I think, again, and I don't. I don't blame, I mean, I'm obviously, I consider myself a parentified daughter. All the things I described, like I've lived that. So I don't think it's surprising that in these circumstances as women, oh, are we expected to manage and overgive and tolerate the infantalized masculine in the patriarchy? Of course. And also like we're having to compensate for, um, you know, I have, I have two, two boys. I, I feel, I, I am, I am more of a feminist because I have boys, because I know what the patriarchy will do to them and what it will take away from them if it can. Absolutely. And

Heather 29:39

they don't deserve that. Oh yeah. I mean that pat conditioning is for the boys and the girls. The men and the women, non-binary. It doesn't even matter. Gender. It's deeply, deeply inside of all of us.

29:53

Yes. And so I think embracing modern feminine power means like, the shortest way I think of it is, is that question, that coaching question you've probably heard what if it was easy? Mm-hmm. What could do? It could be easy. Yeah. Right? Yeah. What if it was okay for you to be where you are? And then what if it was easy for you to do what you're trying to do? What would that look like? Because whatever that answer is, that's gonna be a version of modern feminine power, I think.

Heather 30:22

Mm. Listeners grab a pencil and journal if you want to. That's a great, that's a great question. What? What if it was easy?

30:30

Yeah.

Heather 30:30

I love that. I love that. And so. What was coming up for me when you were talking was like, let's say you have a client who is, uh, and, and this is not in shame, it's just some of us, you know, I, I have gone through it. I always say I do the, I do the work because I need the work. Mm-hmm.

30:47

A hundred percent. Yeah.

Heather 30:48

But you have a client who comes to you who's really living in their masculine mm-hmm. And an unbalanced feminine, which is like the over giver. Right. Um, what, where would you start with somebody who's so far from their, their balanced feminine energy?

31:06

Mm-hmm. Um, you know, and that's true. I think, I think many of my clients are, uh, more in their masculine in their career. That's usually where it shows up. It's like, I mean, think about it. A lot of us got gold stars and promotions and actual cash from performing in environments that weren't necessarily. Uh, tending to our feminine. So I think that tendency tends to show up in business, tends to show up in, um, career stuff. And so, yeah, I mean I've, so I've done this, I've worked with people like this a number of times, and, um, you know, I think usually I will not even have the feminine masculine conversation, um, at first because as you know, as all of your listeners know, healing and transformation and living in alignment with your intuition, uh, happens when you are in your body. Mm-hmm. And when you are right. Embodied. And so the conversation. About patriarchy and feminism and masculine energy versus feminine energy. That's pretty intellectual. It's from the neck up. So I'm not gonna come to someone and be like, Hmm, I see you're living from your masculine energy and so let's see where we can. Yeah, yeah. But that doesn't mean anything. Right, exactly. And also, right, we're all busy human. Like, these are wonderful conversations to have on a podcast. Thank you. I love talking about this kind of stuff. Right. But it's

Heather 32:48

like, where do you start? What do you actually do with somebody who's there? You're

32:51

not gonna be like, oh, this is where you are. Right, exactly. I mean, you just like tell you because, because what? Because you're busy, you're up to your elbows with like an overflowing inbox and the sink is full again, which is incredibly irritating. And like you gotta take out the trash and maybe your knee hurts and like whatever, like life is in your face and that's what you're growing up in this time and Right. Yeah. Yeah. So conditioning. Exactly. So like I'm, I always meet people, um, by asking. And this is even in like if someone were reaching out to me just to book a sales call or to learn more, it's like the first questions I ask are, what do you love about your work? Mm-hmm. And about your life right now and what are you struggling with? Like, what's the thing that's making you think, oh, this could, there's something here I really don't like that really isn't working for me. That's a real challenge. Um, and. Just giving ourselves permission to notice that and answer it in the language that makes sense to us is very helpful. It's like, it's incredibly helpful to say, well, what do I appreciate? And now if I take away that toxic positivity of everything's fine and I must appreciate everything, like, what, what do you wanna change? What do you want to be different? And people aren't gonna reach out to me, um, or enter a coaching contract with me. Like they're not gonna come into the container if there isn't something that they wanna change. And so typically it's a combination of, um, feeling like frazzled and overworked in the business. Like they want to feel flow and they want to have a sense of freedom and spaciousness in their days. But instead, it's like they have more work than they can handle and they feel overwhelmed and they know they should be setting goals, but they're not. And they're keeping up with clients, but barely. And so those are some of the real things that people bring to the table. And so then we just look at, um, why that's happening. Like what are the actual, it always helps. I like to tackle things one little bit at a time. That's how you eat an elephant. I've heard I would never do it one, one spoonful at a time. Um, when you change one little thing, it unlocks so many other things. So let's imagine that someone was, I'm trying to think of a real example here. So, um, I worked with someone who, uh, had a, had had been. Serving happy clients for a number of years. She was doing well financially, um, but she just wasn't happy. She was like, I don't feel this doesn't feel good. I don't feel confident that I can sustain it. And I kind of feel like at any moment people are gonna figure out, I don't actually know what I'm doing in terms of being a business owner. Yes, I'm a great service provider, they love working with me, but I'm ready to hire some more people. I don't wanna keep having to do everything. And so what, how, like I don't know how to run a business. I dunno how to do this. Um, and so essentially what I, the reason I like to break that kind of thing down into little bite-sized pieces is, you know, confidence. My belief about confidence, what I've learned over time is it's like a muscle, it's just a skill you build. Mm-hmm. It's a strength you build. It's not something you. Magically walk into one day or you power pose your way into, although I like power posing, I think that's fun. But, um, just 'cause you put your hands on your hips or you say some affirmations, doesn't mean you're gonna feel confident until you've slowed down enough to acknowledge the success you've actually had multiple times. And you've challenged yourself to do the thing you know you want to do, but you're scared isn't going to work. And that tends to be true whether someone wants to make space for, um, some kind of exercise or creative habit, whether someone's wanting to improve, um, you know, their sort of like spiritual or mystical practice, whether they're wanting to, uh, grow their business by making some decisions, like increasing their prices or restructuring their packages or launching something new. Um. That, or rewriting their website, you know, like rebranding themselves. Like all of those things are, in my experience, best approached. If you really slow down and say, okay, like what's the thing that you wanna do that you're not doing? And this is where the intuition piece is really important, because typically when I meet someone, they have felt so overwhelmed that they can't even explain what's wrong. They're like, I know something's wrong. I don't know what it is. So once we slow down and we say, okay, what's the actual problem here? Okay, you feel like you're not confident enough or, okay, you feel like your website doesn't actually explain what you do in a way that's true to who you are and that's costing you clients. Or, okay, you're not showing up on social media to promote this amazing thing you do and you want to, or you're not going to networking events because you're scared of it, or whatever the case may be. Like this is the thing that you're. Doing or not doing is driving you bonkers. Um, then it's pretty simple. Then it's a matter of, well, what do you actually wanna do instead? And if someone is the kind of person I work with who's been living in their masculine, which is very intellectually driven, very strategic, very mental, like, what's the right move? What's the right chess move here? Yes. Logic. Logic. Very logical. Yeah. Um, the reason they haven't been able to, to change the circumstance they're in or fix the problem that they're dealing with or make progress on the goal like a great, I'll just use the example of writing website. 'cause for, for a long time before I was a coach, I helped people, um, with website copy and brand strategy. So that was like something, that's something I've done a lot of. Let's say someone wants to redo their website copy, but they, or just their branding in general, but they. Can't seem to make progress on it. It's like they'll write part of a sales page and then they just shelve it because they get so up in their head, they're like, forget it, I can't finish this. I've run outta time. Or I, I just hate this and myself and I've gotta stop. Whatever the case may be. Um, if that's the, the place they're getting tangled up, I've got strategic and logical tools out the wazoo to help you answer messaging questions and brand strategy questions. But that's not the energetic block. The energetic block is because you're trying to come up with a strategic solution to an energetic problem. Yes. And so that's usually where someone who is, uh, very in their masculine, um, consciously, or unc usually unconsciously, just like, again, operating in that masculine energy is not thinking well, what's my soul telling me? And especially parentified daughters, when you again, uh, grow up taking care of others, feeling it's your responsibility to care for grownups or siblings or peers or the world or whatever, you know? Um, when you're, that kind of, when you have that view of the world, the part of you that is allowed to just dream and play and free flow and not worry, uh, gets minimized. Mm-hmm. Not, not there. It's just something you stop paying attention to because you're trying to outmaneuver a potentially scary future. And that's the emotional pattern I see a lot for my clients. It's like you're trying to, the reason you can't write your website copy, for example, is because you're trying to say the right thing. So that you can outsmart the fear that people don't wanna buy from you. Mm-hmm. Which is such a difficult place to be because how can you handle Yeah. You can't know. It's impossible. Yeah. So, and then of course it's not gonna feel true to you because everything you're trying to do is predicated on what you think someone else wants to hear. Hmm. But if you're used to only people pleasing or trying to sound palatable, or even if you do know what your voice is, um, you may still find yourself questioning what, but does this make sense to anyone? I don't even know if this makes sense. Mm. Because you don't have a lot of lived experience of just showing up as your messy self and then having that warmly received and safely welcomed. And so that's really what the container of my coaching is about, is like this is the safe place to be a mess. Yes. You have beautiful, glorious, wonderful. Like, I love messiness. You Kira. I'm not trying to censor myself. I love to talk a lot because this is how we truly are. This is how we should be allowed to be. Yes. Um, and you do such a beautiful job holding space for that, right? Like I've seen that in, in, um, I've heard that in your other episodes. It's like, oh, this is the gift of working with intuitively sensitive folks. Yeah. Because they know it's important to make space for this. Yeah. Oh, and all of that. All, you know, I said before about confidence, um, before you have confidence. Before you can feel confident in anything you do in your business or life, knowing confidence comes through practice, right? There's gonna be a period where you don't feel confident. You're like, I don't know. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if this is gonna work. I don't, I don't know. And it can be scary. And what I have found and what I see over and over again with my clients is when you're in that phase of newness before something, before you can feel confident or even competent, you can feel connected to the truth that your soul is telling you. Hmm. And that will give you conviction, and that's where your power comes from.

Heather 43:45

Feel connected to the truth that your soul is giving you. Ugh. Yes, yes, yes. And that's not always easy listeners, right? Like it's not always easy to quiet the chaos, to tune in, to listen, you know? And it's, I always say it's a practice. It's something that we have to practice over and over and over again. You're not just like all of a sudden, boom, I'm just like, connect immediately all the time. No problem. Like there are seasons, definitely, you know, even, even in, in my life, a lot of people probably think like, oh, you know, she's always meditating. And always, no. Like there are times where I do avoid my sacred space and my practice because maybe I'm afraid to hear what my soul actually has to say.

44:27

Mm-hmm.

Heather 44:27

You know, which could be a big part of it. And then there are other times where I'm like, okay, it's just, we're gonna dive in because I know from past experience. Exactly what you just said. The truth of your soul, you know? Yeah. So beautiful. Ugh. Thank you so much. So any business owners listening, whether you're local to the Blue Ridge area or not. Um, and if this sounds like something intriguing to you, we will have all of Elizabeth's information in the show notes. And one of the things that you share on your website, you say, um, that you're a bridge between spirituality strategy and practical action, which I think is so awesome because you are weaving the feminine energy into business, which is super important. And, and as we talk more about the feminine and magic and intuition. I would love to just dive into the other side of what you do, which is you host wild woman circles, right? Yes. You're a facilitator. Yeah, I am. So we can talk a little bit about that, and I would love to just know your personal journey with intuition. Like was it always something that was, you know, some people grow up with families who are, you know, explaining it to them and helping them with it, and other people are like, I didn't have any connection to my intuition until this spiritual awakening or whatnot. So I would love to hear how intuition weaves through your story and about these incredible circles that you're hosting.

45:58

Oh yes. Um, happy to share. So, uh, I'll share about the circles first. Um, which is that I was trained to host and facilitate women's circles under the banner of something called the Wild Woman Project, which you can look up online and if you, uh, I'll just plug that. If you go to that website, no matter where you're located in the world, there are women hosting wild women. Yes. Circle project, uh, project circles all over the world. Yes. So you can find a local one for you. We'll put it in the show notes so you stop, scroll down and link. Yeah, click the link. Yeah. It's just, it's awesome. And I mean, that's certainly not the only, um, not the only project. Right. But, uh, it's not the only project hosting these types of women's circles. But, um, I came across it through some business friends who I actually went, so this was, how did I first hear about it? I went on a retreat, my first ever business retreat. With a woman I had worked with way at the start of my freelancing career, she started hosting retreats and we went on this really amazing retreat and in Guatemala and um, one of the women there led a women's circle. And I was like, this is amazing. What is this? You know, I really had not experienced anything like that before. Yes. Yeah. So, so then I connected with some of her friends who were also Women's Circle leaders and they all had been trained through the Wild Women's Circle or through the Wild Women Project. So then I signed up for the Wild Women Project emails and was like, what is this? And I saw they were offering circle training and um, so I was like, yes, I totally wanna do this. So we meet at, on the New Moon, around the new moon time every month, uh, in the Charlottesville area. And we do a combination of. Meditation, visualization, a little bit of journaling and then sharing. And, um, I love leading meditations for the reasons you do. It's so nice to get to slow down and really helpful to be held and guided, I think through that. Yes. Um, so The New Moon is a great time. I mean, I know you know this, but we like to, I like to host them then because it allows you to sync up with a structure that exists outside of you that's based in nature. So if you just wanna look at the moon chart on any given day, you could say, oh, where am I in the moon cycle? And then if you set an intention at the New Moon, it allows you to chart the energy of how you're working with that intention across what is approximately a month. So it's like a much more grounded, magical, uh. Feminine nature infused way mm-hmm. To manage your months essentially. Uh, and plus, because each new moon happens in a different zodiac sign, then you can play with the energy of what's happening astrologically. You can allow those archetypes and themes to flavor how you're thinking, and it will deepen your connection to the natural world because astrology and the zodiac obviously has connections with what's happening in nature, right? Like right now we're recording this in Taurus season, and I look out my window and it's green everywhere. And Taurus is like earth mother energy. It happens on mayday, right around mayday. You know, it's like, so the other great thing about working with the moon is just, it naturally plugs you into, is this a darker time of year? Is this a, um, you know, is this a very earthy season that we're in? What, how can those elements infuse how I work with my own energy? And then mm-hmm. Feel into my connection with the natural world. Yes. Anyway, could talk about it ad nauseum. Yeah. And it mimics the menstrual cycle, right? Oh, absolutely. Yes. The cycle mimics the menstrual cycle. So, yeah. Which is incredible. So for people who are menstruating, it's, it's, I mean, you can also, right? Alternatively you can work with your metro cycle. In fact, that's something I've done with clients too. It's like, Hey, listen, maybe we, maybe we chart out things like launching and sales calls and posting. When you have energy. When you have energy and we allow you to take Yes, you're allowed to. Yeah. You know, um, yes. So that's, it's a rabbit hole that I recommend everyone go down if they haven't already. Yes, absolutely. The mood cycle. Yes. Um, and then just to share my story with intuition, um, I. Come from a family of artists, fine artists, sculptors, watercolor artists, um, art designers, uh, and sort of business, business folk, business tycoons, and doctors. For some reason, that's the spread in my family. So, on one hand you have well-rounded. Yeah, you have And and I think of it, I think of it, I mean, I'm a pattern seer, you know, I recognize pattern. So to me, the pattern's really obvious. You have the ultra logical, scientifically validated, um, strategy appreciating side, and then you have the, um, creatively in tune, like more feminine side and, and Boulder, I was just gonna say. Yeah. Yeah. It's the sacred

Heather 51:34

union. It's the balance masculine and the balanced, feminine, the, you know, harmonious. Yes. Sacred union. Yes. Yeah.

51:41

And I have been told, and I believe that there were, um, you know, sacred healers in, in my lineage for, for many, many generations. And so I have always felt, I'm always, I've always considered myself a highly sensitive person. I didn't always know that phrase, but I've always been highly sensitive. I've been someone who can pick up on other people's emotions. Mm-hmm. And it's very easy for me to fall into, um, what I experience as connection with my soul. Not exactly a trance-like state, but just a, you know, below conscious or separate from conscious thought. Uh, and that's always been true for me. I didn't have a lot of explicit. Education about intuition or anything growing up, although I did find my mom had my, had my birth chart done. I came across that in a memory box not long ago, which was really fun. Uh, so my mom had that done when I was really little, so I know she's a, um, tical arts appreciator. Um, but like I, you know, co coming back to the parentified daughter thing, I think that, um, one of the, one of the social dynamics where you see parentified child stuff come up a lot is in families of alcoholics. So alcoholism, addiction tends to create dysfunctional dynamics where, um, parentification is one of the things that can happen. And so there's alcoholism on both sides of my family, and I bring it up because I think alcoholism and addiction, to some degree are results. Of, uh, living inside the dysfunctional systems I talked about earlier. I think there's a certain amount of escapism that people reach for when they are denied their gifts. Yes. Denied space to rest when they're taught to repress or not feel emotion. It's just so toxic. So I bring that up because I'm aware, part of my highly sensitive nature, um, I, and you know, I, I give so much credit to my mother. She is, she's like one of the most powerful women you'll ever meet. She's such a, she's such a warrior and she was a cycle breaker, um, who really took a stand against alcoholism. Mm-hmm. Um, in my family. And, uh, just super powerful magic that she. Passed on to me. Mm-hmm. But one of the legacies of that is you are highly attuned. I mean, she had to be highly attuned to other people's vibe and what was happening. Um, and I know I inherited that from her to some degree. Just you observe your parents, right? And that's how you learn to move through the world. She's a, oh, I'm, so, I'm highly sensitive and then I'm also highly sensitive. It's kind of how I feel about it. You know, it's like a healthy, there's just this like magical version. And then there's this other version that's like, okay, well maybe that's like over, maybe we care a little too much. You don't need to, you know? Um, because actually you're safer than your nervous system would have you realize. Uh, so, so growing up, um. I think my, I was, I was really into mystical stuff. Uh, me too. Yeah. I was just so into it. So my favorite show starting in middle school was the X-Files. Don't know. Remember that show, and of your listeners are into it, but one of the great parts about it, right, is you have. A skeptic and a believer and that like the whole thing is investigations of the paranormal, right? Like this is a fiction show obviously, but, um, you had these two attitudes represented and I loved that. And plus I believe they were to, those two characters were totally in love with each other. And so I loved the romance also. Um, and I also just drop that. I got to meet David Deney who started the, and it was like real fan girl moment for me. That's amazing. Like a highlight of adulthood. Um, but then like I had a book, I remember I had the, the Golden Book of the Mysterious, and it was this listing of like all these paranormal things, like what are auras and like, is the lochness monster real? You know? Right. And so just, I was always just super curious. Yeah. So curious, so like magic and mystery and things that are maybe real, but maybe not real, I don't know. And then, um, uh. Then, let's see. I didn't do a whole lot more with, I, I went to, actually, I went to a high school that had a performing arts program and I went for creative writing. Um, so I spent a lot of time in the arts, and I believe creativity and spirituality are very, like, very close. Uh, so I was always operating in my creative self. Um, and that continued through college. I was an English major with a bio mine, a biology minor. So I kept up some of that sort of more logical thinking. But, um, after, let's see, after school, I really wanted to prove that I could get a job that paid me with benefits. Like I wanted a salary with benefits, you know, um. If you're an English major, you hear a lot of jokes about how you're gonna become a teacher or a waiter. And I was like, no, I'm gonna work in a business. I'm gonna have a, like a suit jacket. And so, and I did, and I worked in marketing for Fortune 500 company and it was really fun. And then I, uh. Had the opportunity to quit my job and decided that I needed to go because I was like one promotion away from never leaving. Mm. Never having the guts to leave. So I left and that was when I moved from New Jersey where I grew up to Charlottesville where I live now.

Heather 58:00

A Jersey girl. What? Jersey girl. Jersey too.

58:03

Are you Jersey girl? Where are you from?

Heather 58:06

Um, I grew up in Bergen County. Oh, okay.

58:08

Very good. Dale.

Heather 58:09

Yeah. Yep.

58:10

Yep. I'm, I grew up in Monmouth County.

Heather 58:12

Oh, yeah,

58:13

yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to governor's school at, um, the college. Yeah. Oh, incredible. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, well, I applied for governor's school at the college, but I did not get in, but so we, okay, so we'll just now just maybe a little bit smarter on the other side of the mic, but That's fine.

Heather 58:29

I was there for theater performance theater, so. Oh,

58:32

incredible. Oh, you would've loved totally different. Did you? Redbank Regional High School? Did you hear of that?

Heather 58:38

Anyway?

58:38

I don't think so.

Heather 58:39

Anyway. Yeah, we can talk more, we can talk more offline. So it's to Jersey?

58:42

Yeah. Yeah. Jersey Charlottesville.

Heather 58:44

We're connected. Oh

58:45

yeah. We're so connected. Oh, I love, oh, I love Jersey. Oh man. Anyone from the tri-state area, I'm like, let's be friends. Yes. Uh, so, so, right. So I moved to Charlottesville and then, um, and I was like, okay, I'm gonna start my own business only. I don't know what anyone will pay me for, because I've worked in a Fortune 500 company and the kind of marketing that I did was really. B2B, like brand strategy. I was selling to like the Proctor and Gambles of, I was helping to sell to the Proctor and Gambles of the world. Yeah. And like, there's not really an equivalent of that here, you know? So I didn't know what I would do. I got into marketing, communications consulting, which ultimately led to copywriting, brand strategy, stuff that I've talked about, and then coaching. But when I was getting oriented here and making friends, uh, I started writing for the, um. The weekly free newspaper that gets published here, which is called Seaville Weekly. I don't know if you get it in cro, probably. Um, we do. We're not that far away from you. Yeah, that's right. I was gonna say, I'm guessing it goes to cro, but yeah,

Heather 59:54

so we've got the Crot Gazette here, but we also have access. Yeah,

1:00:00

I have seen the CRO gets that. Okay. Um, so yeah, but I bring up Seaville, the Seaville Weekly because, um, because I was working, I worked there for a little, just like a couple of months. I worked on the staff and when I was in the publish, the weekly publishing meeting, um, uh, the Halloween issue was coming up and they pitched. The editor was like, who wants to go on a, who wants to talk to some ghost hunters? And everyone in the room, everyone else in the room was like, oh. And I was like, me me, pick me. No, I was a real pick me about it. And so, um, I got labeled as like, oh, you're the weirdo. And I was like, yes, I'm the weirdo. Give me all of it. Like, I'm so here for it. Yeah. So that was fun. But then the first, um, then that led the editor to bring me a story about a, psychic group. It was really just meditation, mindfulness. But it was, um, sort of steered and piloted by a fairly famous psychic. Uh, the student's group at UVA was getting started and. Around meditation and mindfulness and, and psychic development and all this stuff. And so my editor was like, Hey, you're like the weird one. Do you wanna write about this? And so I was like, hell yeah, I wanna write about this. So it was super fun to do all that research 'cause it allowed me to just look into everything weird, wacky and paranormal happening in this area. And it turns out there's a lot, I hear this area's on a lay line, so just, we could just float that out there. Um, but what was really fun about it was, in addition to just learning and discovering, it was a cover story. And you know, seville's the kind of paper that maybe you pick up for free when you're like waiting for the bus or you're just walking around the town and you wanna see what's happening. But people do see the covers, like the cover store's, like the one, it's got a big image on the front. And mine happened to come out on New Year's Day. And I very much felt like it was a coming out of the closet moment for me. Mm. Coming outta the broom closet. Yeah, exactly. Like, uh, this goes to 35,000 people. The spiritual Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you're not gonna, you're gonna, this is forever on your, like, will be part of you. You can't undo no hiding now. Yeah. No more hiding. And it was fun because I think throughout college and even high school to some degree, and certainly afterward and in the corporate world, I really hadn't connected with that part of myself. Mm-hmm. I mean, I still was like, magic is real and fun, whatever, but like, I was totally not there. Yeah. And so I would say ever since then, and that was probably 20 12, 20 13, I would say ever since then, it's just been a pretty strong part of my life. Hmm. Um. Just because I've reclaimed it and I love it. Yes. So fun. Yes. You know, just fun, like, dear God, like if you're not doing things that feel fun, right? What's the point?

Heather 1:03:05

Totally, totally. Well, I can't even believe we're, we're, we're already at time here. But, um, before we leave, I invite you to take a minute, close your eyes if you need to close your eyes and share with the audience what message is coming through you for the listeners. Tapping into that wise feminine advisor within,

1:03:35

oh, go play today. Yay. Go play today. Go have some fun. I what's coming through really strongly for me is, um, you asked that initial meditation, like, what's one small thing you can do for yourself today? Mm-hmm. And so if you already have that, uh, then it can be for tomorrow. It can be for this week. But do something off the beaten path that just sounds fun. Like switch it up, sprinkle some color and some rainbows into your routine. Get weird. Go play. Yes. I love it. Who cares? Right? Go have some fun. I'm looking. Get weird. Go put my rainbow. I have like a rainbow on my coffee mug and a rainbow on my sticker. And like, you gotta go enjoy the. Enjoy your life. I think that's what it is this week. Like go play.

Heather 1:04:28

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, in, in so many of my trainings, we talk often about like how serious we can all get. Mm-hmm. Too much in life. Right. Way too serious. Way too serious. And so yes. Go play. Have fun. I love, love, love that. Elizabeth, thank you so much for being here and sharing your magic with us today. Oh, thank you so

1:04:49

much for having me. This was a delight. Yeah.

Heather 1:04:51

Uh, yeah. So all the information you need to connect with Elizabeth will be in the show notes. And thank you all so much my beautiful, lovely listeners for being here with us today. And until next time, wrapping you in so much healing, love.

Speaker 1:05:13

it was so wonderful to be here with you today. I know you're busy and that your time is precious, so thank you. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. If today's conversation resonated, it would really mean the world. If you'd take just a moment to rate and subscribe wherever you love to listen to podcasts, and if you feel called leaving a review or sharing this episode with someone who might need, it really helps the work. Reach the hearts it's meant for. You'll find all the links to connect to today's guest in the show notes below. Until next time, may you remember to quiet the chaos tune inward and hear her. She speaks your deepest truth.