SOLACE: Soul + Grief
This podcast is sponsored by SOULPLUSGRACE serving the San José area, offering grief support and grief journeying with spirituality. I hope to help you travel through grief with God at your side.
"I am a trained Spiritual Director for those who seek to complete the 19th Annotation of St. Igantius’ spiritual exercises OR seek spiritual direction while grieving. I have also worked as a hospital/cemetery chaplain and grief doula. I believe all paths lead to God and that all traditions are due respect and honour. I take my sacred inspiration from all of my patients and companions–past, present and future; the Dalai Lama, James Tissot, St. John of the Cross, the Buddha, Saint Teresa of Ávila, and, of course, Íñigo who became known as St. Ignatius. I utilize art, poetry, music, aromatherapy, yoga, lectio divina, prayer and meditation in my self-work and work with others. I believe in creating a sacred space for listening; even in the most incongruous of surroundings."
BACKGROUND
- Jesuit Retreat Center, Los Altos, CA -- Pierre Favre Program, 3 year training to give the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius
- Centro de Espiritualidad de Loyola, Spain -- The Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola -- 30 Day Silent Retreat/
- Center for Loss & Life Transition – Comprehensive Bereavement Skills Training (30 hrs) Ft. Collins, CO
- California State University Institute for Palliative Care--Palliative Care Chaplaincy Specialty Cert. (90 hrs)
- Sequoia Hospital, Redwood City, CA -- Clinical Pastoral Education
- 19th Annotation with Fumiaki Tosu, San Jose, CA, Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius
- Santa Clara University, Santa Clara, CA M.A. – Pastoral Ministries
CONTACT ME: candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com with questions to be answered in future episodes.
SOLACE: Soul + Grief
Words Fail, Music Speaks
Music creates a powerful pathway through grief, offering comfort and expression when words fall short. Ben Kweller, a singer-songwriter who lost his 16-year-old son Dorian in a tragic car accident, channeled his grief into creating the album "Cover the Mirrors," demonstrating how art can become a healing force.
• The "Impolitic" podcast with John Heileman features a poignant interview with Ben Kweller about his grief journey • Kweller wrote many songs in a grief "fog," a state many grievers may recognize
• Music can connect us to memories and validate our feelings of loss
• Personal grief experiences can be supported by exposure to meaningful music
• Apple Music offers a curated 'Grief' playlist with 111 songs spanning more than six hours
• Music serves as a channel through which God can speak to us and call us to open our hearts for healing
Listen every Friday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Amazon Music for spiritual direction, art, and workshops shared through Santa Clara University, https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/344943-spiritual-accompaniment
You can reach us at: candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com.
SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE
Art: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnav
and https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucas
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6
Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Welcome to Solace: + Grief. I'm glad you're here with me today. My name is Candee Lucas and I am a Jesuit-trained grief chaplain and spiritual director. When we started this ministry we wanted to create a space for those who are struggling with loss, whatever kind.
Candee:The death of a loved one is an enormous physical, spiritual, emotional and psychological shift. I created this library for those struggling with a particular grief issue or just wishing gentle accompaniment. You're always welcome in our circle of healing, love and support.
Candee:I always try to keep a lookout on things happening in grief world: . Other podcasts, articles, books, magazines, movies and sometimes music. In the past we've talked about music a little, but I recently heard by John Heileman Heilman, who has a weekly podcast called"Impolitic Impolitic, about the singer-songwriter Ben Queller. I'll leave more specific directions on how to find this podcast, if you'd like, in the show notes. Mr Keller has been a singer-songwriter for many years and a few years ago he lost his 16-year-old son in a car accident that was horribly unique. Truck crossed the center lane and he swerved to miss the truck and a branch came through and killed him instantly. This was Mr Queller's eldest child and his name was Dorian Mr Queller and his name was Dorian. Mr Queller makes his living as a singer-songwriter, and so it won't be any surprise to learn that he found his way through his own grief, writing songs about both the experience of losing Dorian, the experience of losing Dorian, the experience of grieving Dorian, as well as the experience of healing that loss. In the podcast he talks about writing many of these songs in a fog. I thought this was interesting because many of us who have been through deep grief know exactly what that feels like. We carry on rather on automatic pilot, but we don't really realize what's happening, how it may affect us in the future. It all seems caught up and balled up in that grief moment of many feelings loss and anger and need and isolation and sorrow that we can't really begin to untangle the feelings at the time.
Candee:So I urge you to listen to Mr Queller's album called "Cover the Mirrors, especially to the song he wrote about his son, dorian, and his acknowledgement that they will be again someday. That's the uplifting part of this entire conversation, and so as I listened to parts of the album, they really ring true as to grief, and I wanted to address how music can help us. When my own father died. My son had created a rendering of the old Irish song A Parting Glass, and so I went to the trusty internets and downloaded about 17 versions of A Parting Glass. I would listen to them over and over first thing in the morning right after he died, and it gave me comfort that we sat by his grave and played my son's version of that song. So my point in bringing Mr Queller is twofold One, how he was able to work through his grief, doing what he does best, using his God-given gifts to create art and to create a space for him to grieve. And the interview with Mr Heilman is poignant in many ways as he talks quite openly about his grief. So I do recommend it.
Candee:On a further note, I went exploring this music and grief idea knowing how there were many times there were certain songs that gave me just a sense of my own loss, that kind of underlined that --yes, those feelings are real, yes, other people have had them and yes, we can all get through them, sometimes together, sometimes apart. And I came upon in Apple Music a grief playlist. I think you can find it if you have Apple Music, if you just put "grief in and what you get is a playlist with 111 songs that goes on for six hours. So I've been listening to the playlist since I discovered it and there are many artists on there and songs I've never heard of, as well as some that you have, and I found it useful to just let it run in the background. Every now and then I'd hear a song that just touched me completely, spoke to my own feelings of loss and healing and love, and some I recognized. Some familiar songs gave me a new outlook. So I urge you to explore both these things the Apple Grief Playlist and the Ben Queller interview with John Heilman on his podcast Impolitic.
Candee:Sometimes we can find our way back through music. It conjures up memories and sounds and furies and conversations, ordinary days and ordinary times and special occasions simply be the music that was played at the funeral or at the memorial, whatever it was, whatever it is, it's another channel through which God speaks to us, calls us, calls us to open our hearts for healing, calls to be with us as we open our hearts to him and he opens his heart to us and we embrace there and learn to heal.
Candee:That concludes another episode. A new one drops every Friday. You can find us on Amazon Music, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Remember to be gentle with yourself. Always travel with God. Vaya con Dios.
