Hope After Loss

A nation’s grief can teach a child what silence looks like. With the Kennedy assassination as a first brush with public loss, we unpack how early experiences shape the way we mourn, speak, or go quiet when death enters the room. From the shock of seeing tragedy unfold on television to the private unsteadiness of waking beside a loved one who slipped away in the night, we explore how the manner of death changes the contours of grief without changing its weight.

We talk about what gets lost when families don’t name their sorrow, and what becomes possible when communities choose to gather, listen, and remember. You’ll hear how love persists through the numb hours, how hope survives as a quiet companion, and how simple routines—brushing teeth, checking the mirror, speaking a name aloud—become anchors in days that feel unreal.

If you’ve ever wondered why some losses feel harder to accept, or why certain questions won’t stop circling, this conversation offers language and gentle practices that honor both mystery and memory. The heart of it is simple: grief wants witnesses, and healing grows where love is named. Join us to find steadier footing, a kinder rhythm, and the stubborn jewel of hope you may have thought you lost.

SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE

UPCOMING WORKSHOP ON  SOULFUL LISTENING:  https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/359741-soulful-listening-workshops-on-the-ministry-of

Art:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnav
and  https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucas

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6

Music and sound effects today by:   via Pixabay

Chapters

• 0:39 Welcome And Purpose Of Ministry
• 1:45 A Nation’s Shock And A Teen’s View
• 3:06 The Lost Chance To Grieve Together
• 5:41 How Manner Of Death Shapes Grief
• 8:46 Confusion, Conspiracy, And Unspoken Fear
• 9:32 When Hope Feels Small Yet Stubborn
• 11:41 Closing, New Episodes, Be Gentle
• 11:42 Daily Steps, Love’s Trace, And Reunion

Transcript

Candee: 0:39

Welcome to Solace: Soul+ Grief. I'm glad you're here. My name is Candee Lucas. I'm a grief chaplain and spiritual director. When we started this ministry, we believed there was a place to fill for those who were struggling with grief, whether it be fresh grief or those having been on their grief journey for many years. We hope to be a safe place for people to come and be silent with God. Through scripture, poetry, stories of others. We hope to bring solace and comfort to those who are grieving. You're always welcome in our circle of healing, love, and support.

Candee: 1:45

I was fourteen years old when John Kennedy was assassinated. That meant I was somewhere in the Midwest in the afternoon, as it turned out in a home economics class, trying desperately to match plaids on a skirt project I was working on. I think the news came as a shock to us all, us fourteen-year-olds. But I remember most watching my teachers watching their reaction to this news, how they seemed all at once unmoored. What I remember clearly about this event is how differently we kids reacted to the news and the adults.

Candee: 2:42

And I was thinking about those reactions as I prepared today's podcast, and how different grief hits us all. Not just based on age or circumstances or the manner of death or the time we've known that person. It's based on so many other things, so many other qualities. But mostly I think we learn to react to grief and grief events by watching other people. But as I look back on that time, I also realize how uninstructive it was.

Candee: 3:29

Because it seemed that the parents sent us off that weekend, that horrible weekend in November 1963. We went to the movies. We had slumber parties. Our life kind of went on as normal, while our parents hid their shock and grief from us. I don't ever remember sitting down with my parents and discussing this event at the time or any time thereafter. I do remember being the first out of bed on Sunday morning and having the television on like the entire country did at that time and seeing Lee Oswald murdered in front of my eyes. And I wondered about that. Because it was on TV, it didn't seem real. And as I look back on that weekend, not much of it seemed real at all. It would have been such an instructive time for us to sit in groups with each other and with our parents or our priests or older adults, wiser adults, to understand what this giant grief that had broken over the entire country was, what it meant to us, what it meant to our present, what it meant to our future. And so I look back at it now as a large lost opportunity for us to learn to grieve together as a community of Americans, who whether we liked John Kennedy's politics or not, grieved for the loss of this man, and not so much for the loss of the man himself, but the manner in which we lost him.

Candee: 5:41

I think that's true when we lose a loved one now. The manner of loss makes a world of difference. I've heard widows speak about waking up in the morning next to a husband who has died in the night, peacefully in their sleep. That manner of death is no less shocking to that person than it would be if they were gunned down on the street or killed in a car accident. That break, that time when life slips away. It seems so elusive to us. It seems like a place we cannot go and cannot follow. And indeed we can't, but indeed we will.

Candee: 8:06

And when I think back to that November weekend again, being so confused by the adults around me who react to Kennedy's death. It was hushed, it was not spoken about. And I remember running into my parents' bedroom and saying, --They just shot Lee Harvey Oswald--. And I thought about my sentence later. Who was the they? When it clearly showed on my television screen that it was Jack Ruby, it was no they. Even today, there are skeptics about Jack Ruby, about the grassy knoll, about Lee Harvey Oswald, about our government and its place or absence in that horrible weekend. But I remember then as a fourteen year old who didn't really have a choate spiritual background to rely on.

Candee: 9:22

The things just seemed at an end. I didn't know what seemed at an end. Our lives didn't feel threatened. Our way of life didn't seem insecure. But something had died within us. And maybe it was just a little hope.

Candee: 9:47

That's why I think it's so important to remember on this journey, especially in the days that are so hard that we can barely take a breath or a next step. I think it is most important that we remember that the best and most valuable lesson we take from our God and our relationship with Him, that there is hope in our hearts. It's impossible to kill it. It stays with us stubbornly. There like a small jewel that we carry always.

Candee: 10:39

Because most of us, even if we've suffered an unbelievable loss, manage to get up. It might not be the next day, or the day after that. But eventually one morning we do wake up and we brush our teeth, and we look in the mirror and see how sad our faces are. But we see in our eyes, because we cannot hide it, the love, the love we had for the person that we've lost, the love for them going forward, and the unmistakable hope of a reunion.

Candee: 11:41

That concludes another episode of Soul Plus Grief. I'm Candy Lucas, your host. A new episode drops every Friday morning. You can reach me for spiritual direction or grief support through my email in the show notes. Be gentle to yourself this week. And to others. Vaya con Dios.