WHEN SILENT NIGHT IS THE LONELIEST NIGHT
My Life is Not a Hallmark Movie – Part 2
Springcreek Church | Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
December 10, 2023
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Loneliness is a condition made worse by the things we tell ourselves when we’re lonely; “There must be something wrong with me.” “I must be weak and immature.” “I’m the only person who feels this way.” But none of those things are true. Loneliness is part of the human condition but it’s often amplified at Christmastime when so many gather to celebrate. Loneliness is about a lack of meaningful connection with others. Join us for what could be a brand new beginning in your life and relationships as we explore, “When Silent Night is the Loneliest Night.”
SERIES: My Life is Not a Hallmark Movie
Hallmark movies have become practically synonymous with sappy storylines, cliché answers to complex problems, and “happily ever after” endings. Our lives are anything but that. But during the holidays, especially at Christmas, we get drawn into the nostalgia and sentimentality of the season and as a result, set unrealistic expectations for what this time of the year will be. In this series, we’ll rediscover how the true meaning of Christmas speaks into our less-than-perfect world and relationships. Christmas is the birth of hope in an imperfect world.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Professor William Swan said, “…people with negative self-views prefer, even seek out, people who will evaluate them in the same way.” When we engage in negative self-talk, pity parties, and distortions in our thinking as to why we are lonely, we will end up creating relationships that perpetuate all those negative self-reflections. In your loneliness, have you noticed yourself developing an “incoming” versus an “outgoing” personality? What can you do to interrupt negative thinking? What’s the truth you are learning about loneliness? How can you make the shift to becoming more outgoing in your personality?
2. Robin Williams said, “I used to think being alone was the worst thing. It’s not, it’s being alone with people who make you feel alone.” Have you ever been in a relationship where you experienced this to one degree or another? What did the other person say or do that made you feel discounted, abandoned, or rejected?
3. Why does comparison make us feel lonely? Pastor Keith suggested limiting your exposure to social media simply because the more you engage in it, the more lonely you are likely to feel. Do you set limits for yourself or your kids when it comes to the amount of time you or they spend on social media? Why or why not?
4. Loneliness and solitude are two different ends of the spectrum of being alone. What do you know about the spiritual discipline of solitude? Have you ever engaged in this discipline? What are the challenges of solitude? What are the benefits? How important is it to have time alone with God? If you do this now, explain the benefits that you have experienced. If you don’t engage in solitude as a spiritual discipline, what is standing in your way?
5. What was your greatest learning from this message? What did it reveal about you? Your present relationships or past relationships with which you were involved?