Song of Songs (Wisdom for Your Love Life)
The Smartest Man in the Room – Part 2
Senior Pastor Keith Stewart
January 21, 2024
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Could it be that an Old Testament book written nearly 3000 years ago contains the keys to relational success we desperately need today? The Song of Songs defines love as it should be while at the same time helping us navigate the obstacles and challenges every marriage will face. It’s a fascinating little book that has more than meets the eye.
SERIES: The Smartest Man in the Room (Life Lessons from the Writings of Solomon)
God handed the man a blank check. He told him to ask for anything he wanted. While many of us might have asked for something else, Solomon asked for and was granted wisdom. Wisdom is God-given and God-centered discernment regarding the practical challenges we face in life. As part of his legacy, Solomon gifted future generations three books chocked full of wisdom for our daily lives. There is so much we can learn from the smartest man in the room.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. The Song of Songs has the unique distinction of being written almost entirely in a woman’s voice and from a female perspective. Pastor Keith also pointed out some apparent parallels and contrasts with the original story of the first couple (Adam and Eve). At the very least, this book seems to be showing us a redeemed perspective on what can happen in a marriage of mutuality as opposed to the power and control associated with the fall. How does this perspective challenge or encourage you? What have you been taught about the nature of the husband/wife relationship in marriage? What does it mean for a marriage to be a place of mutuality?
2. In the Song of Songs, the writer uses three different words to describe the fullness of love; RAYA – Intimacy or friendship, AHAVA – Commitment, and DOD – Passion. Which of these do you think society values most? Least? What would a relationship look like that was high on friendship and commitment but lacked passion? What would a relationship look like that was high on commitment and passion but lacked friendship? What would a relationship look like that was high on friendship and passion but had no commitment? In your present relationship or past ones, where have you been strongest and where have you been weakest?
3. Pastor Keith underscored the importance of genuine compliments in relationships and marriage. He pointed out how insecurities inhibit expression – that if there’s an area of our life where we feel insecure, in that area we will always hold back to some degree. One of the greatest gifts we give our partner is praising away their insecurities. Has anyone ever done this for you? If so, how? Have you ever done this for someone else? If so, how?
4. Big issues that end marriages seldom start out big. Instead, they are best described as “little foxes that spoil the grapes.” They are small things that we ignore that eventually begin to take their toll on us in the form of resentments, score-keeping, and ongoing pain. What are some small issues that tend to grow bigger over time? What ways have you discovered for dealing with them? How do you keep little things from becoming big things?
5. In many ways, our closest and most intimate relationships can be a mirror of how God loves us. At least, that’s the case when we are living by God’s principles and have a healthy love life. What have you learned about God through your marriage or that of others? In all the things you learned about love and keeping a relationship healthy in the Song of Songs, in what ways do any of those principles remind you of the way God loves and