Inclusive Weddings: Managing Fireworks, Fog, And Triggers With Care

Surprise moments should make hearts lift, not race. In this episode, Krisy Thomas, COO of the CWP Society, welcomes Master Certified Wedding Planner and Certified Educator Brianne Ackerland to explore how planners can create high-impact celebrations that honor military guests and anyone living with PTSD or sensory sensitivities—without sacrificing the magic couples dream about.

The reality is that surprise cannons, strobes, and smoke machines can trigger panic attacks, flashbacks, and genuine medical emergencies for guests who've served or who live with invisible conditions. Yet most planners don't know when or how to raise these concerns without alarming their couples or killing the celebration vibe. Brianne shares field-tested strategies that balance spectacle with true care, proving you can protect vulnerable guests while still delivering unforgettable moments.

We start with timing: why the eight-week planning meeting is the strategic sweet spot to introduce potential triggers—after guest lists are finalized and add-ons are being discussed, but before vendors lock in their plans. Brianne walks you through how to frame the conversation so couples feel supported rather than scared, using thoughtful questions about loud sounds, flashing lights, and smoke effects to shape plans that protect guests while preserving the couple's vision.

You'll get a practical toolkit you can implement immediately: how to send private heads-up messages to at-risk guests, create discreet program cues that signal what's coming next, map out quiet zones with clear exit routes, and deliver calm, grounding scripts when emergencies like fire alarms or first responders show up unannounced. We get deeply tactical on vendor communication—briefing DJs on volume limits and strobe alternatives, aligning photographers and videographers on flash frequency and smoke timing, and confirming venue policies for cold sparks and fog machines so surprises don't escalate into crises.

Brianne also shares a deeply personal story that reveals why this work matters and how planners can lead with steadiness and compassion when the unexpected happens. This isn't about being the fun police—it's about designing inclusive joy that allows every guest to be fully present.

You'll walk away with three immediately actionable steps: ask about accommodations at the eight-week mark, verify venue safety protocols and effect approvals before booking, and establish a designated safe space with a clear exit route and point person. Plus, we spotlight trusted resources like Wounded Warrior Project and NAMI to help you learn the right language and responses when guests need support.

Ready to design celebrations where everyone can truly celebrate? Subscribe, share this episode with a fellow wedding planner. 

Want to master the skills that set certified planners apart? Discover how CWP Society certification equips you with the knowledge, tools, and community support to handle every situation with professionalism and heart—visit cwpsociety.com today.

www.cwpsociety.com | info@cwpsociety.com | IG: @cwpsociety | FB: @cwpsociety

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

You're listening to the Wedding Planner Society podcast, brought to you by the CWP Society.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

Welcome back to another episode of the Wedding Planner Society podcast, brought to you by the CWP Society, the world's leading certification program and the largest community of certified wedding professionals and planners. I am Christy Thomas, the COO of the CWP Society. And today we're tackling a topic that's both critical and often overlooked. Planning weddings with a guest, maybe it's a military guest or a couple who has some PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder, especially when it comes to sensory triggers such as fireworks, sparklers, fault no machines, these elements can unintentionally create distressing or even dangerous situations if they are not handled thoughtfully. Joining me today is Brianne Ackerland, who is a master certified wedding planner, a certified educator, and a past guest on this show, because Brianne really specializes in handling wedding day emergencies and supporting couples, wedding party members, and guests with unique needs. She brings the practical strategies for anticipating challenges, creating a safe space, and managing sensitive situations with professionalism and care. Welcome back, Brie. Thanks for having me today, Chrissy. Absolutely. These conversations are always so fun with you because they are conversations that I don't think other wedding planners are actually having. So let's maybe start by maybe explaining how common it is for guests or couples with PTSD to be affected by wedding day elements such as fireworks, sparklers, or even fog machines.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Well, honestly, it's probably a very small percentage. We obviously don't know everybody's internal or personal life struggles or things that they've been through, but the odds of this scenario happening are pretty significant. You know, I've had a couple weddings where both the spouses were military people. So the odds are pretty high that at least half of their guests are going to be someone who's been exposed to something that could potentially be a trigger. But knowing what our couple's clients are going to feel or potentially react to, we just don't know. But the more enhancements couples are adding to their events just kind of increases the possibility that we have a guest that has an adverse reaction to it. And unfortunately, that's just something that we we won't know ahead of time.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Yeah, exactly. And since we won't really know this ahead of time, how do you recommend maybe approaching the topic of any potential PTSD triggers with a couple without causing them unnecessary alarm? Like, oh gosh, this is this something I should be stressed out about.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

Well, obviously they want their guests to have a good positive experience. And so it is a matter of maybe when we get to that eight-week out meeting, what is our guest look looking like? Do we know the people that are coming and they're, you know, how do we know them? What are the things that we could potentially know that they may have been exposed to? But that's a lot of extra forethought. We just don't know everybody's scenario. But if we're just thinking about our guests, what they might want to enjoy, what they may not want to enjoy, but also still taking into account this is our couple's day, we don't want to squash that whatsoever. It's just a conversation that I've just been starting to have with my own couples, just overall, if we add these types of things in, do we think that there might be a guess potentially that could fall under a sensitivity to loud sounds, flashing lights, just a lot of these extra elements that maybe weren't brought up in the past, but because we have more people that are more vocal about their situations now, we could potentially make accommodations for them.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

I love this too, because it's kind of like you mentioned, it's kind of based off of your couple, based off the scenario you mentioned earlier a couple who were both military in the military. So that kind of made you hyper aware of okay, more than likely these guests are also going to be military. We're adding in all these extra things. How is this going to impact your guests? So it can be very much, you know, based on the situation, who your couple is, and what you're adding to the overall wedding day that maybe allows you to kind of spark this conversation. And that kind of did answer my, you know, my next question. Do you think that as planners we have this conversation during the planning process? And I love that you mentioned that eight-week out meeting, that that would be a good time to kind of have these types of conversations.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

Yeah, early on, I don't think it's necessary just because we don't know who's coming, but because this is very if there's a guest that could be triggered, um, we won't know it until we're into that, you know, last stretch of the planning process. And then sometimes too, some of those enhancements aren't added on with DJ services or video services until they're in those final planning meetings, too. So it's just something just to kind of put in our checklist of items as planners to just think ahead, hey, by the way, you know, based off of the choices that we have at this time and our guests that are coming, could we potentially have a guest that would be uncomfortable or again triggered by a selection that we make with one of these add-on enhancements?

SPEAKER_00 5:12

And with that, you know, after you have this conversation with someone and you do find out, yes, actually, there are a handful of guests who we think may be impacted by this, what are some ways that maybe our couples can give their guests warnings in advance about fireworks, sparklers, or even falling machines, or even anything that may possibly trigger them? I think part of this is a lot of times it's a surprise element.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

They want to wow their guests. So they don't want the DJ to make a generalized announcement that if you might be, it becomes an awkward situation potentially. And again, a lot of times this is a very sensitive topic. So the guest is not going to necessarily want to speak up type of scenario. So what I feel like it's best is just to communicate with the guest that's potentially coming directly. If the couple know that they could reach out to them ahead of time, like, hey, we have decided to add this on. A lot of couples have been doing like a timeline of events, it could be a send-off, the grand entrance items, and then knowing that in those time slots, those things are happening, then that guest could just remove themselves from the space that could potentially cause that trigger if it if it's planned ahead of time. So with PTSD, there's a lot of not the trauma is triggered by things, it could be smells, sounds, there's so many elements to it that we just don't know as the planner. We can't think of every possible scenario. But if we're adding these things and it could potentially cause an issue, we just want to try to avoid it if we can. So I'm not saying let's kabosh all of the CO2 guns running or cold sparks, and there's a lot of things folks have been adding lately.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Yeah, exactly, to make these fun receptions. But like you said, and I love that you mentioned that if if they're given this heads up about it, and your couples know their guests way better than you do. So if they know, okay, this is probably going to impact that person, they're giving that heads up early. Like you said, we can still have these fun elements. That person is now giving the heads up of when these fun elements will happen, and then they themselves can remove themselves from the situation if they find that, oh, this is starting to trigger something in me that that I didn't really anticipate. And I know, you know, offline we were kind of talking about as planners, like like you just said, like there's only so much that we can truly prep for. But how do you think that we should handle these situations if a fire alarm alarm goes off, or let's say fireworks start early and there's a guest who's been triggered by that, what should we do maybe to manage that situation?

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Well, I think what's most important is that we just know our space because we may not, it may not be appropriate for us to approach them. It may not be a good positive response scenario. So if we see a guest has become uncomfortable or there's some sort of disturbance that's happening, uh on our end as planners, we can have already known our our venue. Like where is a place that this person can be, you know, if they have a friend with them or something, that we can uh notify them if they need to remove themselves of the location where they could potentially go. Or if we know that there is an emergency happening. Again, I've had events where fire fire departments were called, uh, emergency responders arrived on scene. Um, some of those things could be triggering. So if we can let them know, like just there's, you know, again, general announcements. Please be aware, fire, you know, fire services are coming, first responders are coming. If we please clear a path, please make a way for them. So it's notifying everyone, but it also would let that person know who could potentially be triggered, that there might be sites that they see that could cause them to want to make make things out of earshot or eye shot, just so that they don't have those responses. But other than that, I would again I would not approach someone who was having a response to what was going on because we don't know how they might react. So it could be a safety concern. So if they're with someone, obviously they know their scenario, let them handle it.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

Yeah, no, that's that's really good advice, Bree. When it comes to us collaborating and working with our fellow wedding pros, because obviously these are conversations that we've had with the couples. If we find out that there is a guest who is gonna be experiencing this, where it's a guest or a family member or a wedding party, how should we communicate that with our vendors? Or do you even suggest that we communicate that at all with our vendors? I kind of know the answer. We're gonna definitely say yes, because you are team communication for everyone. But I do you do you agree there?

SPEAKER_01 9:52

A thousand percent. Um, and honestly, it would be your DJ, it would be your photographer, it would be the venue, it would be anyone that again, it would be involved in a guest scenario. So that photographer, their flashes, um, you know, things like that. Again, if they're utilizing some videographers use smoke things sometimes. I don't know if you've experienced that, but they're kind of like the smoke bombs, yeah, yeah. They're like sticks that let off colored smoke smoke. Yeah. Again, more things that they're adding. Um, so, or the venue in itself. Again, there are some venues that they do not allow certain enhancements because of the smoke that rises, or um, you know, there's things that could happen because that cold spark is going off and setting up on fire, I heard earlier today. So there's a lot of scenarios where number one, we need to make sure that our venue approves it. Um, and and then number two, you know, let the vendors know that just verify what are you guys utilizing? Because we do have a guest that could fall under a scenario where something that you do could be triggering to them. And you may not know it because your stuff is set up to capture one thing, but it's in the line of sight of this person, and all of a sudden these things are going off and they see it and it causes a trauma response.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Ray, have you ever had a situation yourself, whether it was at a wedding, a guest where a wedding day element unexpectedly triggered someone or even possibly triggered you?

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Personally, I have as a per, um, I had a sudden cardiac arrest three years ago, and I had an event where emergency services was called because a grandparent went down, and they were looking for an AED, which is an electronic defibrillator, it's very self-guided. So a guest could potentially resuscitate someone if their heart is in an irregular rhythm. So personally, I have a hard time viewing that or knowing that it's going to happen because it's happened to me. And it I had to talk myself down through this isn't happening to me. I am trying to make sure, again, fire that came in with the gurney. All of these things I experienced and had to my best set aside and handle what was happening at the time, directing appropriately and things like that. So, not everybody's in a unique scenario like that where they've firsthand experienced it. Um, but it's also made me more sensitive to the fact that you don't know what all of your guests have experienced and how they will respond to those elements. Last year I had two events where smoke alarms went off and fire departments were called, and there's a lot of loud sirens. Again, um, you know, again, it whether it's PTSD or that could be autism or, you know, anyone with a sensory sensitivity, those types of things you have no control over as the planner. We don't know what the systems allow in these venues necessarily, but the responses that could happen from a guest would be something that we want to try to do our best to proactively help assist and facilitate if we can.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

Yeah. And I think that's kind of what I love about these episodes that we're that we're recording together, whether it was the one that you mentioned about neurodivergent and any autism, ADHD, things like that. We had a whole podcast episode about it. To me, what this does is just kind of put your brain as a planner in a different mindset of this isn't just all about our couple, but we have multiple people, whether it's our wedding party, the family, and the guests, that we also have to consider. So it kind of shifts your brain into making sure that we're considering everyone involved. And Brie, thank you for sharing even your personal story because there may be a planner who may have some type of you know post-traumatic, whether it's something similar to yours, or even maybe they were in the military and those loud noises, you know, impact them. Those are things that maybe they didn't think that, oh, I'm gonna have to possibly face this within my own career. And how do I handle that? Because on wedding day, obviously, we are the captain of said ship. So when when if we're down, then you know, the whole the whole crew goes down. So how do I overcome that? And clearly you very much overcame that. But I'm sure once you got home, you probably let yourself feel those feelings. But in the moment, you were able to then overcome those feelings that you were having to face that you did not expect to be able that you had to face. No, you didn't wake up thinking I'm gonna have to, you know, call 911, and that's gonna bring flashbacks to what I went through three years ago. So um, I think it's just all I think these types of conversations that we have, Brie, just kind of plant seeds in our heads. Those are things that maybe we should, these are things that we need to be considering.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

I think so much of what we do as planners is everything is so logistical based. And it's very easy with our checklist too, like, yep, we've covered that, and yep, we've covered that. But again, when you experience a lot of other life things, um, it just opens up your eyes to other things that our guests could also be experiencing, and how can we make sure that they feel taken care of? Because as planners, when our couples are off taking pictures, we are that go-to person to, you know, that kid who's waiting to go through the food line. Here's your crackers, buddy. You know, anything that we can do to kind of help maintain the overall event comfortableness for everyone that's there, you know, it's kind of always the goal is we want a good positive guest experience because then our couples feel like they've been taken care of and their guests are taken care of. So I just like the opportunity to share those insights because that's just an element that's just another added feature that we haven't really thought about before that definitely needs discussed. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

And Brie, for planners who maybe haven't encountered this before, and I guarantee there's probably a lot of planners who haven't. I know, you know, you've experienced your own personal thing, but we haven't, I haven't personally experienced that with a guest or anyone being triggered by that. Are there any maybe resources or strategies that you would recommend that way we can be more competitive in maybe managing some of these considerations? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

So a couple would just be being more educated about the topic. And so, for instance, there's a couple of great PTSD um websites like woundedwarriors.com or NAMI, which is the National Alliance on Mental Illness, they have information on not only ones who maybe have that condition, but also support for family and friends. So if we potentially just need to be more educated on what does this look like, what can we do just in general to provide support to anyone that we might encounter in our day-to-day life or on event days, just the more information we take in, the more we can just be educated on our own of what would be acceptable. Again, not approaching people. You wouldn't know that necessarily unless you had done a little bit of research on well, here let me help you. No, that's not the best scenario. That's not the best case in this scenario is to approach someone who's kind of going through something. Um, and then the other part again is just researching everything. Anything that your couples are making selections on, choices on, how would this potentially affect someone if we didn't know that again, a small percentage are going to share or be vocal about their conditions? What can we know on our end? What can we educate our couples on? And then in turn, whatever choices that they're making, educating our vendors so that they're aware that, okay, based off of these choices, are you aware that we could have some guests that have a negative response to that? Be proactive. Is it maybe just take the couple outside and set off those enhancements so that way we don't have to worry that there's a guest involvement? Because that's completely doable. You know, we don't have to do these things inside the building where it could negatively impact others.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

So just conversation. Conversation. And I think especially if when you do have this conversation with your couples and they mention why, yes, there is someone who's going to be impacted, whether it's them, wedding party, or family, then really take these resources into consideration and don't just brush it off and you know, okay, that's that's a check off the list. Really take the time to understand, okay, this is the situation that we could be potentially walking in based off of the conversations with your couples, which is why what I love about our job so much, it's so much more than just checklists and timelines, the communication, the relationships we build with our couples, all of that impacts how we execute and how we plan their wedding day. And that's just another piece of the puzzle that if you are faced with this, I'm hoping that you resource yourself and you you educate yourself enough to where you feel confident and your couple feels confident in knowing that goodness, my planner has considered everything. Like I brought this to their attention, and this is something that they've they're taking very seriously. They've educated, they communicate with the vendors, they're making my guest who is going to be impacted by this feel comfortable. Well done. All it does is make you just like a rock star planner who genuinely cares about her couples. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

It's all about just again providing the best service that we can for our clients, and that goes outside of a lot of the traditional elements that couples think about when it comes to wedding planning.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Yep. So, Brie, before we wrap up, if you could leave our listeners with maybe three actionable steps they could implement right now to protect and support any guests, whether it's military or just guests with who are extremely experiencing any PTSD at the wedding, what would that be?

SPEAKER_01 19:25

Number one, first ask your clients about their guests. Um, do they have anyone that's going to possibly need special accommodations? Even if they potentially don't know, do they want to put things in place just in case that might happen? So if they, you know, know to think about it, they may be proactive and reach out. So if we're doing it at that eight-week out meeting, hey, we have potential guests, who might those be? Should we reach out to them? Who's coming with them? So that way if something would happen or trigger them, we could communicate that with the person that's traveling with them. Secondly, just educate ourselves. What are the safety protocols at the venue? Are they allowed to utilize some of these things that could be triggering? Or in the case of where it's an emergency and we don't have any control over ambulances being called, you know, or smoke alarms going off. Um, you know, again, what are the safety protocols? Because it could be where now all of a sudden we have to remove 200 people from a space when we have maybe a guest that is having an adverse reaction to the things that are going on. So, again, the more thorough that we can be on our end as the planner to help educate and direct is ideal. And then lastly, if we do have a guest that is experienced, you know, experience is a trigger, provide a safe space if we can. It may not be best to engage this guest, but if we have done our due diligence in the meantime, we've checked with the venue. Here is a place removed from sight, sound stimulations. Can we help that person either with the people that they're with or whatever, help direct that guest to a safer place until those triggers are gone?

SPEAKER_00 21:03

Thank you again. I I these conversations are always so, so, so good with you. Thank you again for sharing your expertise and your insight on this incredibly important topic. Weddings are supposed to be joyful, celebratory experiences, and with thoughtful planning, communication is key. And sensitivity, planners can ensure they're also a safe and inclusive place for military guests or guests with any PTSD or any other sensory consideration. So if today's episode reminded you how much being prepared and also aware matter in this work, it's the perfect time to take your skills to the next level through certification with the CWP Society. Our programs don't just teach you the logistics of planning, they help you master the strategies, professionalism, and problem-solving skills that make planners truly exceptional, like Miss Bree here. Join the world's largest community of certified wedding professionals and gain the tools you need to handle every challenge from emergency situations to complex guest needs with confidence and grace. You can learn more about certification, membership, and continuing education opportunities by visiting CWP Society.com. Again, thank you so much, Bree. Thank you. Have a great day, Chrissy.