Become the Planner Your Dream Client Is Looking For

If you've ever wondered why some wedding planners earn glowing reviews, steady referrals, and dream clients while others stay stuck in the chaos — this episode goes straight to the root.

We're not talking about having a prettier timeline or better software. We're talking about the moment the schedule slips, a vendor is frustrated, the client asks the same question for the third time, and every eye in the room is on you to lead.

Krisy Thomas, Senior Educator with The CWP Society, sits down with Laurie Hartwell, Founder and CEO of The CWP Society, for an honest conversation about what it actually takes to be good at this work: self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and the discipline to pause before you react.

They unpack how aggressive communication, slow response times, negative energy, and careless email tone quietly erode trust with clients and vendor partners — and how those small, repeated patterns can cost you the relationships your business depends on.

The conversation also gets into real wedding day crisis management: how to stay composed when something goes sideways behind the scenes, and how to protect the couple's experience so what they remember is joy, not your stress.

And then they connect the dots to professional growth — why becoming a well-rounded planner who leads with kindness and confidence is the standard worth building toward.

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Transcript

Are You Actually Good At This

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Are you actually good at this? Not do you have a website? Not do you have contracts? Not have you planned a hundred weddings or even just ten? I mean, are you good at this? The whole thing. The way you communicate, the way you show up, when something goes a little sideways, the tone in your emails when you're tired and a client has asked the question again for the fourth time. The version of you that walks into a venue when the timeline is already off and everyone is looking to you to hold it together. Because that's the job. And a lot of planners are really good at parts of it and not so good at the rest. Today, the fabulous Lori Hartwell, who is the founder and CEO of the CWP Society, and I are having the conversation that's a little uncomfortable but completely necessary. There's going to be no fluff, no filters, just two master-certified wedding planners and wedding industry educators who care deeply and are going to be really honest with you about what it actually means to be good at this job. So if you're ready for that, stay with us.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

You're listening to the Wedding Planner Society podcast, brought to you by the CWP Society.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

And it's all about planners who are not showing up well in this industry, whether it's not showing up well with their clients, with their fellow wedding pros, or even with each other. So I'm excited for us to have this conversation.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Me too. I want people to show up a little bit better than they're showing up. I feel like maybe people are not putting a whole lot of thought and intention behind it. So it's time to talk about it and bring it out into the open.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

Yeah, it is. And it's something too that you have spoken about often. And I love the way that you phrase it, Lori. You have all have always said we're always

Ideal Client Starts With You

SPEAKER_03 2:05

looking for that ideal client. But are you the ideal planner for your ideal client? And that sometimes like that's a gut punch when you say it out loud, because that does require a lot of self-reflection. But you're saying this because you're seeing a lot of planners who are on this pursuit who are just eager to find their dream client, their dream client. It's like, are you even the dream planner? And a lot of the times, unfortunately, that answer is no.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

Yeah, at least from what we're seeing, we're we're not observing a whole lot of ideal wedding planners out there who are searching for their ideal client. And I think it is important that we're always looking at ourselves to see how we are showing up.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

Yeah. And I think it's something too that we have to be mindful of because when we think about how we're being portrayed in this industry as wedding planners specifically, we want to make sure that we're this profession and what we're doing is actually being taken seriously. And I know when you first started the CWP Society, that was your ultimate mission, was you wanted to make it be where, as wedding planners, we were a must-have, or wedding coordinators, even, we were a must-have. Just like you have to have a photographer, you have to have a DJ or entertainment provider. Unfortunately, it wasn't always the case where planners were a must-have. But what I'm finding in this industry is we're doing some damage to ourselves and almost taking, kicking ourselves out of the industry because of our actions and because of how we're performing when it comes to us executing our job.

SPEAKER_02 3:30

100%. And that is the biggest problem that I am seeing. You know, we have to make sure that we're stepping up. We have to make sure that we are treating other people the way that we want to be treated and be able to reflect when a situation happens and be able to see, okay, am I having expectations of others that I don't even put on myself? And this is part of the problem that I'm seeing.

SPEAKER_03 3:57

When it comes to wedding planners and coordinators, where do you think that gap comes from? Do you think it is awareness? Do you, or maybe a lack of awareness actually? Do you think it comes from training or a lack of training actually? Or a combination of all of the above, or do you think it's something else?

SPEAKER_02 4:14

I think it's a combination of a lot of things.

Emotional Intelligence Over Aggression

SPEAKER_02 4:18

I think it is a lack of awareness. It's people putting their own feelings that they're having in the moment and kind of putting it out there without thinking, okay, wait a second, what's the end result that I want? If the end result that you want is to resolve the situation, then coming in hot is probably not going to serve you. So I doubt that anyone is dealing with a situation where a problem has arisen that you don't want a resolution to the problem. But with a lack of awareness and a lack of emotional intelligence, what happens is your emotions in your mind are the only important things in that exact moment. So that is going to derail your end result. It's you're not, you're never going to get there. Or at least it's going to take you longer to get there if that's the case. So that's one problem. A self-awareness, maybe a lack of emotional intelligence. The other problem is probably a lack of training. Maybe these people have been taught that in business you just have to be aggressive. Well, you don't have to be. You can actually get amazing results and be an amazing person and show up in an amazing way. In fact, I feel like that isn't that why people say you can attract more flies with honey. It's because you, if you're nice, people are going to be more accepting and more willing to help you in whatever situation you find yourself in. So why aren't we nicer wherever you get-go? So it could be a combination of a lot of things, Chrissy, but there is 100% a gap we're talking about.

SPEAKER_03 5:55

Yeah. It's funny because you're talking about, you know, being kind and and you know, not being a poo-poo face. Really, I remember thinking when I first started this being a wedding planner and coordinator, and people be like, Oh, you must be really organized and bossy. And I was like, I yeah, I am really organized, but I there I am not bossy at all. And they're like, Well, you got to be to be a wedding planner. And it tickles me because part of who I am at my core, which is very much a reflection of my brand, is that everything that I do, I try to do with kindness and grace, including how I run my business. And people have picked up on that. When my wonderful couples leave reviews, they always say, Chrissy, it was so kind, she was so graceful, she was so gracious when things went wrong. And vendors recognize that. So being told that I plan with kindness and grace, that's one of the biggest compliments I've received from my couples. And I mentioned that during my consultations. I will say, you know, part of what I do as your wedding planner is I have to lead the day. There are 20 plus wedding pros who are looking for help and guidance. You've got your entire wedding party, all your family and friends. I've got to know how to lead those people, but I can do so in a way where I do it with kindness and grace. And you're gonna probably run into some wedding planners who are gonna be bossy and rude and mean. That's just not who I am at my core. The end result will still be the same. You're gonna have a phenomenal wedding day that 10 years you're gonna look back on and remember how much fun you had. But I do so in such a way where I lead with kindness and grace. And that's just who I am at my core. And I think a bulk of my success comes from the fact that A, I'm a massive certified wedding planner, but B, because that is who I am at my core, because I plan with kindness and I plan with grace, people want to work with me.

SPEAKER_02 7:34

Yes. And yeah, I honestly believe that a lot of wedding planners have a misconception about themselves and they call themselves type A. This is the most common problem that I'm seeing for planners who are even going through our master certified wedding planner advanced study program. It a lot of people just assume that they're type A because they are put in positions of leadership. And that is not necessarily the case. It just means that you're stepping up and doing the job. This is the job. We have to delegate things, we have to make sure that people are fulfilling the their contracts and things of that nature. That does not mean you're type A. Now, another problem, too, is a lot of times people, when they have that false impression of themselves of being type A, uh, that means other people are assuming that too. Because you're in a a leadership role, you must be a bossy pants, right? And here's the thing, you know, and even even people that were once close to me assumed that I must be controlling or I must be a bossy person or what have you. And I'm thinking to myself, no, that's if I had a choice, I would want none of that. And so what I think is important is number one, it know yourself. And number two, uh again, you've got to make sure, because I've also been kind of called out for staying calm that and not in a good way. You would think that some most people would want you to stay calm. I stay calm because I want a quicker resolution to this. And I know that if I let my emotions run me rather than me run my emotions, this can get out of hand. So, wedding planners dealing with crazy emotions of everybody around them. Yeah, it is important that we are the calm within the storm. Okay, it is important, I've trained myself to be the calm because I want a speedy resolution. I, regardless of what that resolution is, I want there to be one. We are not going to find great resolutions if we're coming in hot or if we're allowing our emotions to control us and to control our reactions. We, the only thing that we can control in this world is how we respond or react to things. And that is the one thing that we do have control over. So whether you're type A, type B, type C, type D, or type X, which is a combination of others, it doesn't actually matter. What matters is how are you showing up? That's the important thing.

SPEAKER_03 10:21

I'm so glad that you mentioned that, Lori, and us that she mentioned too at the beginning of that, that yeah, the the timelines, the checklist, managing the day, you know, leading, quote, being a boss, you know, those those are that's that's the job. That's to me, that's that's the floor of what it is that we have to do. But being emotional steady, being consistent, that, you know, not just being organized, to me, that is at its core what makes you a phenomenal wedding planner. So, Lori, when you think about planners and coordinators who are truly excellent at this, what separates the them from planners who were just kind of getting by, basically?

SPEAKER_02 10:58

Yeah. All right. So it's their intention and making sure that their intention is seen, that it's not just a hidden intention, that when a problem arises, they actually show up with a great attitude. They're really positive people. And yeah, we can all be organized. But to me, it's what comes out of your mouth? What comes out of your fingers when you're typing an email? What message are you sending? And sometimes it's even facial expression. So we have to be really careful what message we're sending and making sure that we are not just having an emotion and responding instantly. We need to make sure that when we have an emotion, that we're checking it out first. Okay, why am I feeling this way? What has upset me? Why has this upset me? How should I handle this situation? So basically, you can't do that unless you pause. Anytime you're feeling upset or angry or irritated by whatever it may be, pause. Just take a second and then figure it out. Kind of question yourself: why am I feeling this? Where did this come from? How should I approach the situation? Which approach is going to have the best potential for a resolution? That is exactly what we're supposed to be doing. So I find that those wedding planners who are excellent, truly excellent at this, pause and respond and always put their best foot forward. Regardless, you know, listen, you know what, Chris? We can't, you know, control how other people are going to respond to our kindness or our um, you know, our calmness. We can't control any of that. That's on them. But what what we can always make sure that we're doing is making sure that we're showing up in a way that we are proud of ourselves.

Kind Leadership Without Being Bossy

SPEAKER_02 12:52

Yeah. And so those truly excellent wedding planners show up in ways that they can be proud of when they look back at the situation.

SPEAKER_03 12:59

Yeah, exactly. And I think too, Lori, just because you you mentioned, you know, what you type, I think sometimes when people hear what we're saying, they're automatically going only to the wedding day when hiccups arise on the wedding day. This doesn't just apply to the day itself. How are you planning? And I love that you said, what are you typing? Because that those are the little things to me that can reveal everything about you. And it goes beyond just how you handled a fire on the wedding day. How are you communicating with people? And that goes to emails, and that's something that we see quite often, unfortunately, of some of the emails that we receive. And I'm like, Well, who are you in a bad mood? This email is coming across a little hot and a little aggressive. And I don't think people are mindful of how they're coming across in their email and what tone and the fact that there's a person behind it reading that email. And I don't know if that's because we're at this point in where we are in society, we're so used to talking to chat bots and things like that. There's a person behind everything that you do when it comes to communication, whether it's a phone call, an email, an Instagram DM, be mindful of what you're saying in your email tone.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

Just, you know, here's really important. I think emails or text messages, I mean, regardless, any kind of typed thing, when someone can't hear your the tone of your voice, you know what that means? That means you have to be extra diligent. You have to put extra love into it so that it cannot be misinterpreted. So don't be careless when it comes to your emails. I want you guys to all take your the tone of your email and put it in the context of they can't hear me. I can hear me as I'm typing and thinking, but that doesn't mean that someone who's reading it on the other end can hear my voice. They don't understand it. So it's going to be important that we put even extra intention and positivity in there. And so steer away from negative words, steer away from any kind of negative negativity if you can, right? That's always the important thing. And there's always, always, always ways to word something that even if you have to, you know, have a difficult conversation or say something that seems confrontational, or you have to bring something up that you're like, oh, I don't want to talk about this at all. Listen, this is normal. This is normal, but that's that's where to throw in the extra kindness, in my opinion. So I hate to say this, but this, this, and this. And I don't, I'm not assuming that this is what you were thinking. I just want you to understand this is the way it came across. Something like that. It's just important that you put the extra care into your emails and your text messages because people cannot hear your tone. They can't hear a voice at all, at all.

SPEAKER_03 15:48

It reminds me, I had a client, this was probably seven years ago, who was one of the sweetest clients. She was a coordination client. So she was doing a lot of the planning on her own. And I was being looped in, you know, once we got to that eight-week out mark, and all of the vendors just praised. They're like, She is absolutely the sweetest person from the way from when she reaches out to me, from our meetings. She's been such a joy to the point where they kept throwing in extra perks. And it wasn't because she was a client, you know, just oh, it wasn't just oh, she's a Southern Raw client. No, it's because who she was as a person and how gracious she treated her vendors. And on the flip side of that, I had a uh a couple who were a little hasty, they were a little aggressive with their vendors. And I was kind of the mediator of like, let's can we be a little nicer to these people, please. And they were not going out of their way for this couple. This couple wanted to, they were gonna be willing to pay for the photographer to stay a little bit later. She was like, Yeah, no, I'm done. I'm out of here. And I think with wedding plans, it works the same way. And people want to help kind people, people want to go above and beyond for the people who respect them, who treat them well. It so do that, be that person.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

Do you know? Because it takes the same amount of energy to be a poo-poo face or to be someone who show shows up, you know, with intention and kindness and and calm and positivity. It takes the same amount of energy, it just depends on your care level. And a lot of people are like, well, this is just who I am. All right, well, hold on, let's let's talk about that. Let's let's have that conversation. Because if coming in hot is just who you are, you need you owe it to yourself to ask the next question, which is why why and what do you think you're gonna get out of it? Do you think that by doing that you're gonna have a great response, or people are gonna be bending over backwards to help? I can tell you right now, the answer is no. No, I know that I am more inclined when someone reaches out to CWP Society. If they say, Hey, this happened, I fell behind, or da da, and I'm so sorry. Is there anything you can do? I am so much more inclined to help that person than the person that goes, I am so mad, I'm so frustrated. I'm first of all, why are you coming at me like that? You know, so it's really, really um important that if this is just who you are, why is that who you are? Is it because of something that's happened in your life? Or is it because you actually think that this is going to help resolve situations? Have you been trained that coming in hot is the only way that you'll be heard? And here's what I want anybody who says, Well, yeah, I mean, people listen, if I get loud, okay, here's the thing. What kind what kind of people? And would those same people have really heard you and been way more inclined to help you if you had just come in with kindness. You can be kind and still try to work toward whatever it is that you're looking to achieve. You can do both. It is possible. I'm here to tell you. And again, are you going to be proud of you if you're always coming in really mean? Yeah. I don't, I mean, and maybe the answer is yes for some people, but guess what? Those are not the people that I want in my orbit. I don't want those people around me at all. I'm looking for calm, kind, positive, sweet people to be in my orbit. And I find that those types of people are the ones that are more successful.

SPEAKER_03 19:36

A thousand percent. A thousand percent. Are there any other habits or patterns that you see planners or coordinators making that they're not even realizing is costing them, whether it's costing them relationships or to me, I think it's costing them the longevity of their career.

SPEAKER_02 19:53

Oh, 100%. There's so many. Uh, it would take 18 podcasts to get there. But

Email Tone And Fast Responses

SPEAKER_02 20:00

I need to start a series, things that you're doing that is costing your career. Yeah, um, a couple of things. So, how how you answer your phones? So when you say hello, are you going hello? Or are you going, hello? You know, there's it sounds it's the same word, sounds very, very different. Uh, I'm also, you know, just seeing response times. You're not, you know, if somebody sends you an email, if you're waiting a couple of days to respond to that email, that's gonna cost you in the long run. It may not cost you today or this week, but it's gonna cost you in referrals down the road because you're gonna be known for people, you know, being someone who everybody has to wait on. People show up late to meetings, whether it's a virtual meeting or an in-person meeting. I'm seeing those problems. Uh, because again, I feel like that's a self-awareness thing. You are putting your needs, your thoughts, your emotions, your time in front of and ahead of everyone else. We need to be better at thinking of others. You know, I I've always listened, I grew up on Mr. Rogers. Okay, that's who my idol was. And it and the one some of the things that he always taught was making sure that you're thinking about how you're making other people feel. Think about how you are coming across and how that is affecting and impacting other humans. And that is what drives my every single day, every single response, every single email, every single encounter or interaction. I am thinking how as is how I'm coming across or talking or thinking or feeling, making other people feel. Now, there's there is a line, there's a balance here. Yes, we need to do that. We need to make sure we're always thinking of others, but not at the sacrifice of yourself either, though. So there is a balance, but that balance is a beautiful thing. When you figure out that balance. By letting let me make sure that I'm honoring who I am and honoring my boundaries, honoring what I'm looking for, but honoring other people at the same time. That's magic. Yeah. That's the magic. So I want everyone who's listening to this to find that balance because your success is going to just skyrocket. And by the way, not just in business. It's in your personal life. To me, it starts in the personal life and then it kind of bleeds over into your business. I think whoever you are bleeds over in everything that I'm talking about relationships. I'm talking about your business and how you show up your reputation, how vendors think about you, how you know, the whole thing. And I think our success is tied to that in some way. And so we need to make sure that we're thinking about others, but without sacrificing our own needs and wants and concerns. But there's a way to kind of balance that out. So, so Chrissy, to answer your question, there's a lot of bad habits. There's a lot of really bad patterns that I'm seeing, but a lot of it stems from the self-awareness of how they're coming across and how they're making other people feel.

SPEAKER_03 23:15

Yeah, uh, a thousand percent. Because I think the little bitty things that make up everything that we can make a whole 18-part series about, when you don't do those little bitty things, or when, for example, you mention not responding back in a timely manner or how you answer the phone, while they seem small, over time, what that does is it kind of erodes the trust, whether that's in you and a client, you and your wedding professional partnerships, it erodes the trust. And if you keep doing that over and over again, you're gonna find yourself not getting referrals, you're gonna find yourself not being on vendor lists or you know, pre-bender list for venues in your market. You are gonna find yourself, unfortunately, out of this business because those little bitty things, it just erodes and erodes and erodes. And like you said, you become known as the person people can't rely on or the person who's difficult to work with. And this industry, it's you know, as much as we're like, you know, market here, market there, our industry is really heavily built on referrals, very heavily built on referrals and relationships, like how how we're making each other feel.

SPEAKER_02 24:20

Are we inspiring one another? If not, people are not gonna want to be around those that are trying to pull, maybe not trying, maybe I shouldn't say trying, who just happen to pull people down. That is emotionally or verbally or what have you. But just if you're constantly a dabby downer, you're complaining all the time, or you're negative constantly, or you come in hot, whether you're sending an email or you're sending uh you're answering the phone or just whatever. Sometimes people are coming in hot and no one did anything to them that day. I'm just calling. I'm like, why are you angry? What who did who hurt you? You know, uh, so I I want us to make sure that we're a lot more careful when we're coming across. But yeah, millions of patterns, millions of things that we can be doing differently.

SPEAKER_03 25:19

We've talked a lot already about those difficult moments, whether it's a difficult moment on the wedding day, a frustrated client mid-planning, or a vendor conflict. And I think a lot about how you show up in those moments. And like we've talked about it, that requires a pause, it requires some self-reflection. And I think when I when I think about those moments, I I you are the first person, honestly, one of the first people that comes to my mind because I I think about people who are around me, and that's something that you have just drilled because it's something you're so passionate about. Is how are you making other others feel? And I remember this weekend, for example, I had a wedding this weekend where it was a little stuffy in the reception space. We tried our hardest to keep the doors closed. This cake was just

Small Habits That Kill Referrals

SPEAKER_03 26:05

not wanting to stand up. It was a buttercream cake. And I did not panic because I I knew this baker was gonna be able to handle it. And I was like, This we we talked, we and she was also very calm and collected. We both sat, we paused, we came up with our game plan, figured out what we were gonna do. She was gonna work on the cake, put it where it needed to be put to be stored properly, and then I was like, This is when we're gonna bring it out. And at the time there was a bridesmaid who was coming kind of in and out, and I could see the panic look on her face when she saw this cake. Gotcha. So I was like, Well, let me go talk to her. And I said, Hey honey, did you need something? I saw that she popped in. And she said, Yeah, is the cake okay? And I was like, It's fine. And I was like, But what we're gonna do is we're gonna make sure that our wonderful bride has no clue about this because me and the baker, we've got it, we figured it out. And she's like, Okay, okay, you serve it. And I'm like, Yeah, we got it. Just don't stress Grace out about this. There's no need for it. And someone told her after the ceremony, and she came up to me and she's like, What happened with the cake? It looks great. And I was like, Well, who told you something happened with the cake? Those are those moments that I I can see on the flip side. I've I've heard of planners who panic, who get aggressive, who get angry, who get mean with when there's a situation. Who what does that do? I just I always think to myself, what is the point? What is the reason? What is the outcome gonna be if you're coming in angry and hot and running around like a chicken with your head cut off? Why? To me, that just takes so much more effort than to be cool, calm, and collected in those moments.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

I I think it's a lack of self-control. So when we are panicked about something, uh usually that's stemming from what? Fear. So we're fearful as a planner. Okay, so what we're not doing is pausing and saying, What am I afraid of? What they're doing instead, rather than pausing and asking them that question, what am I really afraid of? Okay, can I what can I control in this situation? How can I show up? That's not what they're doing. What they're doing is their their flight or fight is actually enacted. Yeah. So they just start res reacting to that emotion that they are not maybe even realizing is fear. So, but what are they really afraid of, Chrissy? They're afraid that something is gonna happen that is gonna give them a bad rep, uh, or something is someone's gonna tattle and get the bride all stressed out. And so they're afraid of a whole bunch of things. But honestly, if we just pause for a second and go, okay, so I'm clearly freaking out a little bit. Uh, you know, because this is like me on a wedding day. All right, so uh I'm having fluttering heart. Okay, so what does that mean? That means I'm probably freaking out. I'm having a little bit of a panic. Why am I panicking about this? All right, so it's because I'm afraid that my client is going to see this cake melting. All right. So what can I control? I can control a conversation with the baker. Let's let's talk with the baker. And I, you know what I don't do with the baker? I don't go to the baker and go, this cake, what are you doing? What are you thinking? I can't believe it you did this, this, and this. That's not how I'm gonna respond. I'm gonna be like, hey, how are you? Oh my gosh. So, what I would love to do is go and and let's go take a little walkie uh and have a little talkie by this cake so that we can kind of figure out what's going on and and how can we solve this? And maybe if we did this and this and this, meaning take it out of this hot room, figure out what we need to do. Do we need to prop it up a little bit better? Do we need to do move cake cutting to the first thing rather than one of the last things? What can we do to resolve this situation? And if that means I need to get a photographer over to get that picture sooner rather than later, then that is exactly what we're gonna do. But I go into problem-solving mode rather than panic mode. Now, panic mode does one thing and one thing only. Basically, that thing is going to it it all that does is ensure that it's not gonna go well because you're stressing everybody else out in the room. My my thing is smile, even if I know something is going down behind the scenes. I need to smile. Why? Because I care how everybody else is experiencing this day, and I don't want to project my fears onto other people. I can solve one, you know, a cute little cake problem is not, it should not derail a beautiful, amazing day. So I am going to make sure that I protect everything else because one thing that my client will not remember is a little boo-boo on her cake. She's gonna remember the experience that she had on the wedding day and that he had on the wedding day with all of the friends and family and how smooth everything went. That's what I need to protect. And I can do that with a smile and staying calm and not spreading my panic to everybody in my wake. That doesn't make any sense. None of that has ever made any sense to me.

SPEAKER_03 31:18

I love the way that you worded that, Laura, because that's that kind of that stems how I feel the protection. Uh and I tell my couples during my initial consultation, I do get real mama bearish with my couples. And it's because I understand the importance of this day. And I know a lot of people say, it's just one day, it's just one day. Why are we? It's not. It's every single anniversary. It's a day that when if you if this is if you choose to extend your family and you have kids, your grandkids will be looking back on your wedding album and you'll be reflecting about how amazing that day was. And I get to help with that. I get to make sure that you look at that day with calmness and joy and excitement and thrill and how amazing of a day it was 20 years down the line. And you literally just did a whole podcast episode with a client. What was it, 22 years ago she got married? Yes. And she still has fond memories of you and the experience that you created for her wedding day. That is the job. And that means that we have to show up and we have to show up well. We cannot show up panicked, we cannot show up unprepared. It's just too important of a day. And I think a lot of, to me, a lot of issues that I see within my community and within the industry as a whole when it comes to wedding planning coordination, I do think it has to do with a lot of the fact that there's a lack of education. People are coming into this almost, they have maybe they're coming into this where they're organized, maybe they plan a few parties. People say that they, you know, they're maybe they even have a great personality and they can lead. But when these issues come up, when you don't have the structures and the workflow in place to keep things moving seamlessly through the planning process, things start to crumble. And when things start to crumble, that impacts your couples and impacts their client experience. And a lot of this to me boils down to the fact that wedding planners are not educating themselves in the way that they should.

SPEAKER_02 33:11

Because it actually impacts their attitude too, because what they're feeling less

Wedding Day Crisis Without Panic

SPEAKER_02 33:15

than, they're feeling um, they're not feeling empowered that they have the right tools to do the job at its best, right? At the highest level. Well, when you feel like that, your attitude is going to show that as well. And so when we're feeling that and we're showing that, all you're doing is showing that you need better tools and you need education. Every time someone shows up poorly, every time someone uh you know reacts poorly or rubs off their panic on other people, all you're doing when you're showing that side of yourself, which is your backside, whenever you're showing your backside, you are showing that you need more tools, better education, you need more emotional intelligence, you need self-awareness. There's too, you have so much more to learn. That's all that is. Uh, and but on the other side of the coin, too, the people that go kind of fall into themselves and they just go quiet. That is yet another pattern, another example that doesn't work either. Going quiet and just just opting out uh and just saying, I'm just not gonna deal with this. It's too much, it's too overwhelming. That is also a sign that uh that you need more education uh and and more help, more self-awareness. Uh so there's the people that come in hot, but there's the people that come in cold, which is the quiet, I'm I opt out, the the checked out people. There's the checked in, but boy, you're red. Why are you so red? You know, so call me. So yeah, it's it's a very, very important thing that we all need to understand. What is our why? Why are we showing up the way that we're showing up? Am I showing up in the most professional way, the the kindest way, the the way that is going to get us to the end result, which is hopefully a resolve of whatever issue has has arisen.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

I love to, because we we've mentioned this numerous times self-awareness, self-awareness. Because that is so important. You you can't fix what you won't look at. That means looking at yourself and having asking some of those hard questions about you.

SPEAKER_02 35:35

Yeah, that that's it. So, and and don't settle for the worst parts of you because you can improve that. Don't settle for that when when you say, Oh, this is just how I am, that that's not something we should settle for. If if how you are, you know, as animated and angry and loud as you are, if that isn't working for you and it's not resolving anything, or it's costing you relationships or costing you a reputation, it's time to look at that and go, I wonder if I could have handled that a little bit different. You know, and and maybe I need to approach things in a different way. I think that's what we owe ourselves personally.

SPEAKER_03 36:16

What I love too, Lori, about the program that you created with our Master Certified Advanced Study program is that is to me, that entire program is built on self-reflection. It is. And I mean, it's it's at the top of the highest level of self-reflection. And it's all to improve not just your business, but who you are personally, because like you said earlier, that ties into your business. But Lori, I you know, how do you encourage planners to do this kind of honest self-assessment without it becoming paralyzing or without them just, you know, hammering down on the most negative parts that they're they're coming to realize? How do you encourage them to have this honest self-reflection about themselves?

SPEAKER_02 36:55

Well, you first have to ask yourself, why am I taking this certification program to begin with? Right? Is it to just have another certificate to hang on the wall? Or is it because I want genuine growth? I want to become the very best version of myself and have the very best version of my business that I could have. So you have to make that decision first. Okay, you have to figure that out. So if it's the certificate and that's all you want, the CWP Society program is probably not the right one for you. I just want to make sure I go into that. Do not, under any circumstances, take my certification if you're only looking for a certificate. Because you can probably just take a $25 program someplace. Okay. Don't, don't waste your time on me. I want to make sure that the only people that go through our certification programs are ones that say, you know what? I could probably improve. I could probably do this a little bit better. Oh, I didn't even realize I could do it this way. Oh my gosh, that's gonna be a game changer, right? That's the kind of wedding planner that jumps really far in success world, right? So in the master certification program, we take a look at everything for you. You know, we're but we're having you kind of answer it yourself. And if we see any inconsistencies or anything that could maybe boost your success, we're gonna mention it. So every chapter there is a beautiful self-assessment, and then you we you know, review that assessment, and then we give you some tips on ways that could make that even better. And so we dive deep into not only your workflows and your processes and but your why. We we dive deep into your why and who you are as a human being, because I think that drives it all. You know, when we know who you are, then I'm gonna know how to customize this entire program to fit you. So it is it is a long process. And when I say long, I mean it's just it only takes about two to three months to go through our master program if you are dedicating at least one hour to it a day. And so when they go through it, you have to go through it with the right attitude, the right mindset is okay, so I'm gonna get this feedback. Am I going to reject the feedback from people who've been in the industry for 30 plus years? Or am I going to look at this feedback and go, okay, so how can I implement this so that I can become better? Because that is all about your mindset, truly. And the people that are going through our master program, they're so amazing and they're so open to like, oh, didn't even think about that. Or, or I hear all the time, I didn't even realize that by me doing this, this was preventing me from getting X, right? But they didn't even know. Because sometimes when we're in it, Chrissy, when we're inside of our business, sometimes we don't see all of the moving parts. And it sometimes takes someone from the outside looking in and going, okay, so I'm seeing a couple of places where the wires aren't connecting, you know, because I think of it as an engine. Okay, so we're a spark plug over here, we're missing, you know, uh a belt over here, we're missing all of these things. And as soon as we get that spark plug and replace that belt and, you know, maybe even replace this wire over here or get a new battery, we're gonna be set. Watch what happens as soon as those things are done. And so that's what we're looking for is we're basically the whole master program is looking under the hood and seeing what's missing or what's gone bad or what have you, and then making it all better.

SPEAKER_03 40:51

Yeah. Love that. Uh it's it's incredible. And it's I've seen it transform people's lives. It's just because again, it's all about that self-reflection. And it to me, what I love about this entire conversation that we've had is what we do as wedding planners and coordinators is so much more than timelines, checklists,

Certification Mindset And Next Steps

SPEAKER_03 41:10

color-coded sheets, uh, Google Drives. It's it's so much more than us being organized. And I think that that's something that needs to be talked about. It's how we're showing up, it's how we're our messages are being delivered, whether it's vocally, online. It's so much, it takes so much more than just being organized to be that ideal planner for your ideal client. It's a lot more than people realize. So, Laura, do you have any other tidbits that you want to share before we head out? Or um, we may this may be multiple series to be closed.

SPEAKER_02 41:46

Well, you know, the only thing I'd want to do is kind of just touch on that ideal situation. You know, a lot of us as planners are trained to figure out who is our ideal client. So a lot of times they say, create the avatar. Uh, where do they shop? How much money do they make? What do they do for a living? Uh, you know, what are their goals and things of that nature? That's all fine and dandy. But I feel like we also need to make sure, because that, because let me just quickly say that finding your ideal client, that's just for marketing purposes. But how about on our emotional purposes? Who is my ideal client, Chrissy? It's someone who is positive, uh, comes across really nice, who's got a wonderful spirit about them, uh, but trusts my guidance and trusts my vendors and trusts that everything is going to work out and that is super in love with their significant other and they cannot wait for their big day. Uh, someone who responds in a timely manner, doesn't ghost uh me and all of their wedding pros. That's my ideal client, someone who's just really amazing. But if I am not the ideal planner, then I don't necessarily find that ideal. I won't find that ideal client. And a lot of people are missing that. Guess what? If you're if you find over and over and over again that you keep attracting someone who is not your ideal client, most of the time the reason is you're not yet the ideal planner. And I know that's hard to hear. I know that it's gonna sting just a smidgey poo, but it's all solvable. Okay, we can become the ideal wedding planner. It just means that we need to be more well-rounded, we need to be more educated, we need to have not just our workflows and our processes in place and having all the right documents and the right software. Yes, that's great. I love that. That's one side of it. The other side is how you show up, who you are, how do you make people feel? Now, all of that together, if you're the great wedding planner that's gonna make someone feel amazing, make Make someone feel great, show up with a positive attitude all the time, always want to have a good resolve, and you've got all of the processes and the workflows and the knowledge base. You're the ideal planner, and when you are, you are going to attract your ideal client, but it has to start with you. It has to, it can't be the other way around. It has to start with the wedding planner. So become the very best version of yourself that you can be first, then watch what you start to attract.

SPEAKER_03 44:34

It's magic. It is magic. I'm living it right now. There, I'm looking at when I look at my the past 10 years of my career. Oh, I'm it's I have my dream clients. I am living my dream with my dream clients, with the dream weddings, and it's all because of how I'm showing up in this world.

SPEAKER_02 44:52

100%.

SPEAKER_03 44:53

100% because I am very educated and obsessed with education and learning and growing and wanting to be the best person I can possibly be year after year after year. It's such a beautiful domino effect, how it all works. It really is.

SPEAKER_02 45:06

Gotta trust, you got to trust the process, right?

SPEAKER_03 45:09

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Well, guys, the planners who grow in this industry are not always the most experienced ones in the room. They're the ones who are willing to be honest with themselves about where they're strong, where they have room to grow, and what kind of professional they actually want to be. The commitment to holding yourself to a real standard is exactly what the CWP Society is built around. And if certification has been on your radar, if you've been thinking about it, circling it, and telling yourself, oh, I'll do it when the time is right, I want to gently tell you that the time is right now. Certification through the CWP Society is the decision to invest in yourself in the same way you ask your clients to invest in you. It's a standard, a foundation. And it's also a community of wedding planners and coordinators who take this profession seriously. Visit CWPSociety.com to learn more and take that next step. We would absolutely love to welcome you to our family. Thank you for being with us today. And Lori, thank you for keeping it real with me as always. And we will see you guys next time. Bye, Laura. Bye.

SPEAKER_00 46:12

And before you go, we have a little something just for our podcast listeners. If you are ready to elevate your career as a wedding planner or coordinator, you can use code podcast to receive $100 off the executive or master certification program. This code is valid until the next episode releases, so be sure to take advantage while it's available. This offer can't be combined with any other discounts. Visit CWPsociety.com to learn more.