Content Creators & Facebook Jail: Put Some Money On My Books

Being in Facebook Jail impacts content creators and small businesses differently than someone who is just being social. Having your access restricted from your business pages, groups and marketing tools can impact your business in a negative way. It can also affect your mental and emotional wellbeing, something that many entrepreneurs can afford.

Are we giving these platforms more power than they deserve? Are they really giving us the results we think that they do? What proof do you have that social media is necessary for your business?

Our experiences with Facebook give us a jumping-off point to talk about making sure the tools fit our business needs. It robs from our businesses to fit our needs around the tools. We have to be clear about what social media gives us in exchange for our time and money. If we are good with that exchange, then so be it. 

In this episode you will learn:

• ​Is being on social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok really making you money in your business?
• Are you really receiving monetary value in coaching memberships or groups?
• Are your social media followers and friends converting into clients?
• Is showing up all you need to be a successful content creator?
• What impact does Facebook Jail have on you as a small business owner, influencer or creator?

Don't forget to check out Contessa Louise Cooper & Dr. Kimberly Douglass.
Do you wanna learn more about The Collective, a community space for content creators with Contessa Cooper? withkoji.com/@Contessalouise

Dr. Kimberly Douglass has tools available for our neurodivergent creators. linktr.ee/Kimberly_Douglass

Transcript

0:01

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello and welcome. I love the fact that I started off the podcast like every single week like that. But I think it's important to say hello to, everyone's doesn't feel welcome to our space. I am Contessa Louisa. This is the code to build world's podcast. And I am a coach who is building This Magnificent. Wonderful world. And guess what? Because you listened to the podcast. You're not a proud. Now, a part of this world, and I'm dr. Kimberly Douglas, and I am a coach who bills worlds and happy Monday morning. Everybody. Hope it's happy going well for people happy. Happy Monday, so I had it. Last week which quite frankly pissed me off. I've been on Facebook for. I think my first post gosh. I can't even remember when my first post was, but I've been on Facebook for a long. I and I have this great relationship with Facebook, right? Oh, my friends and I know you this is ideal so you can't see the They are quotes but I have like acquaintances that and then I have like friends that I know in real life that are on there and Facebook was a place where you could socialize where you can share your life. We can have conversations. Meet new people all this great. It was like the best place to socialize on line. And so, I type I talk I communicate same way on Facebook. Then I would in real life type of person I am. Would you get real life? What you see online is life with me? It does. And so sometimes I forget that Facebook doesn't like certain language doesn't like certain. They have these Community standards that at sometimes they pay attention to and sometimes they don't depending on who you are. Yes. And depending on how much influence you have on the app that how much money you spent on ads, you're allowed to do. And so I had a friend who's a writer who was asking questions, about fictional characters in her, in her book. How would you react if the fictional character? In her book came up, and gave you a kiss after a first date. Hmm, and I was like, I've punched him in the throat. Like no, this is great. Hey, I haven't given you any signs that I wanted to kiss. You just cited kiss me. So you get punched in the throat. Right? Right. Because you like, you violated me. And that's good Ponch. You're going to Get for me. So I typed that next thing. I know I get a 24-hour band. I can't post on Facebook. I violated Community guidelines, because I'm being violent on the app. Mmm-hmm. I was doing what, right? And this is the part that I don't think I told you. My account is restricted for the next 30 days, which means know that my comments show. Further down in groups. Mmm-hmm my content to anybody, right? You have to like, I'm friends with my stuff. I don't think I can create any ads, just, like, all this crazy stuff. So they got on punishment because I'm a bad Facebook member. Uh-huh. And so I, I posted something on Twitter than I then again, posted on Facebook. Look. And the thought was because I have a business. I've been running my and Facebook is part of my marketing plan and I posted I don't want to quit Facebook because it may impact my business. The other more smarter more intelligent me showed up and whispered in my ear and said It's not like you're making money from there now. And that gave me something to think about and he gave you something to think about because it triggered something in you. Dr. Kimberly, so We'd I was watching this in real-time play out. And you just triggered even more thoughts about things and you posted your what you should prepare for each word. You say it's not like a making money here anyway, and it really just set off it. Chris started the sequence of God in Me and part of it was timing because I cleaned up several Facebook pages business Pages recently and I have been actively engaged in ad. Pains not a whole lot, but just testing things out. And so having just gone through the experience of cleaning up those pages. Plus trying to manage these ads to see what kind of return. They're going to give me what you said. It was like a key that just locked in place. And I said to myself, you know what, she is exactly right and I started to think about. So let's back up even further. So for those of you can test and I had there was another version of this podcast. It was called the data, which is which I love that they don't reach. Has I love this one too, but that was man. That was just, just fun. But by the way, commercial break, we're coming full circle with everything we talked about on that show. I was wondering if you notice that I was. Yes. So this is this is actually like data, which is version 2. Yes, because we've talked about this before every all of this stuff. So there were episodes where we talked about the metaverse. We talked about Facebook, but we talked about it in The different way. So now what we're doing is almost like we did the cliffs, not the cliffs. No, but the compressed version. And so what we keep doing is going back and pulling out pieces without even realize, that's what we're doing. So in a previous in our previous life, in our previous podcast, we had talked about some of these things and worked through some of these things. The metaphor verse and all these and Bad statement just rang so true for me and I think about how many years that I've been on Facebook and the hours that I've spent on Facebook trying to cultivate French. You do just make a presence because coaches, did tell you, you need to show up just short short short, and the member of the groups that I've joined. And and the ways that I tried to engage in a bit, so I try to go to if I think about what the actual return has been on, that. It is - a lot because it just has not panned out the way that that we were told. It was supposed to pan out and Facebook is supposed to be the standard. But I'm not sure that a lot of people can actually make money on Facebook. So I really would love love, love love. And I don't even know if this is possible to because there are people making money on days, people making money. So I want to know, hold on the second, the cat is eating a pencil. Oh, I forgot to tell you about our co-host follow. No follow. No. Anyway, so there are people making money on Facebook. Yeah, and I'm wondering if these are the people who have had their Facebook groups forever. All right, if it's what is their teaching or something on Facebook because there are some things that are are definite moneymakers, right? You could talk about that marketing and people are going to buy your stuff because it support, you can talk about manifesting and people are going to buy your stuff because yes, yes, there are certain things that you can talk about that. Will you can always say? Yeah, if I do this and I copy the same format as everybody will definitely make money, but I'm talking about people who are involved in things, where it's not strictly a Out making money or the people are really trying to make a difference for people who are creatives for people who have a platform that got, that's bigger than themselves. Are they actually making money through Facebook through social media or the fighting themselves, in the same situation as you. And I, as like this isn't working. The it was, it wasn't giving what? It's supposed to gauge. What a supposed to have. Okay, I think okay. Yes. There are clearly people making my own Facebook, but I think there are so many people dabbling in giving their money to Facebook. That it is just a wash for fix it. Because I know there are people who look very successful and they manage groups. And they're just not making the kind of money that you think that they would be making on Facebook. And so they are projecting certain things that just don't show up in reality. So that's one thing. The other thing I was just thinking about going back to what you said. Like, I mean, it's not like I make money here. Anyway, what if feels like to me is kind of like, Policing and monitoring with nothing with very little in return. Which is something that we as marginalized population of people are subjected to in life on a regular basis, but it just feels like another space where we're told. If you do this, if you wear your hair this way, if you put on this shade of lipstick, if you do this, if you do that, then you can succeed in this space, but it really isn't specific set up for success in this space. It's set up for people so so think about the metaphor What has happened and all the tools that Facebook is now providing so think if they have provided these tools like five or six years ago. So what this has meant that Facebook is just like any other platform when you have to have a lot of capital going into the situation. And I understand that capital is a very important part of business, but I think a lot of people think that it's just free and it's not just free because even if you don't spend a dime there, there's The cost that you pay in your time again. It's not, I mean. When you said that this is another place or black people or black women or black autistic, women are being policed by what they say and how they show up and not a great system to appeal because I appealed because I was not being violent towards anyone. Just stating how I felt about a situation and a fictional character a fictional character. This is not even a real person that I was talking about and I wasn't directing my statement towards anyone and particular and is in charge, IE. Someone who does not look like me. So when who does not think like me someone who doesn't Ain't no cultural nuances. Looked at most and still said, nope. You're in violation. Right? Right. And here it is. I'm in another space that I do not control where I understood and it doesn't feel good. No, no as oh, it feels like ah, why am I doing this again? I'm tired of being in spaces where I'm Is understood for the smallest thing, right? Right, Stan, you don't win don't even know what the rules are. They only care about the terms and agreements because the terms and agreements do not apply to everyone the same. They just don't. So this was a very important moment for me to pause because I had never doubted being on Facebook, but let me back up and say this. Here's the thing about Facebook. As you know that I've always stated is that it's really hard to innovate on Facebook. And one of the reasons why it's hard to innovate on Facebook, is because you have a bunch of people that you probably are connected to a lot of you. A lot of people you're connected to a real life. And so it's like friends and family and You're not going to it is the kind of situation is going to keep you in a box and a certain way in the people who a lot of people are connected with on Facebook, are people who are invested in, making sure you do not change and you do not grow, it just that first of all, they're not going to buy anything from you. Second of all any time you try on a new identity. They're going to be the ones that smack you back in line. So it is policing from the app. It is Police. Leasing from the people who we've chosen to connect to in a Contessa is the exception. She Rose how she rolls but it's so let me just say that before you could but most people are connected to people in real life, Who police them in, you know, the black Excellence thing and we have to show up this way or we have to show up that way. That's why they come to Facebook seeking approval. And so, we think about how we're able to innovate in that. He's of, we think about what we can, what identities we can try on in this space. If we think about, we need to Pivot and we need to shift. Our, we scared that people are going to say. Well, you know, what is she doing today? Those are also caused being monitored is a cost. It's not just the ads that you pay for and it's not even just the time that you give. I am a very supportive friend and I see this type of this type of activity on my friends post on people. I support post, they will say something and they'll Bill unmask, they'll show up as themselves or trying to and in the comments is all this stuff like crabs in a bucket, trying to pull them back. Our I wouldn't do that if I was you. I'm not sure that that Save, are you? Okay? This doesn't seem like you got it at a dock and I'll show up like, if y'all don't leave them alone. We are not who you write. Like, no, no, no. No, this is all. We are going to allow them just sells. We're going to allow them to try something new. We're going to allow them to experiment. We're going to allow them to innovate. We're going to allow all of this stuff and I I'm quick to say, you need to unfriend them. You need to unfollow them. You need a new wave. I posted about a year ago about Facebook being a circle jerk and that tickled you to your core and if you don't know, what a circle jerk is. I want to introduce you to urban dictionary dictionary and look it up and let me know in the comments. if you or disagree, especially Facebook is definitely a circle jerk everyone in your Kind of has the same belief systems kind of agree on the same thing. And if you ever want to go outside of the norm, they will stop you with yes area, everything that they have, because when you do that, you make them have to re-evaluate and they don't want to They don't want to do that. And let me say this, so I want to go back to this monitoring thing. And I cannot overstate. How limiting this becomes how? People get into this performative thing and they just stopped showing up as their business, even though they intended to do business on Facebook. I was I'm reading this book right now is called the account accounting for slavery. So when people tell you that they don't have records and they can't map out how much money were over reparations. That's a lie, because a lot of the accounting that is done in business and business management, and business management, Came From Slavery because they can make a change right on. But the person would have to comply and they can see the difference that the change will make so it's bullshit. But here's one of the things that that that really has stood out to me about that book. It is so wasn't just violence and humiliation that kept people in line, but it was also hyper management. So these weren't a bunch of country yokels. If that's not what this woman's, this was very sophisticated complex. Operations that are very organized, very specialized division of labor, but the other thing besides violence accounting, the other thing that they use to keep this whole system running was monitoring getting. Once laid to monitor enough, putting them in a position to monitor other people and how that relates to this situation. It goes back to us. Looking for spaces. Would you feel safe? You feel free to experiment. It to explore to try on new identities, but we don't because we have people monitoring us. And a lot of us will just give up and say, you know what, that resign ourselves to that is who we are. And we're having this conversation because contestant. I want people to really think about what it means to have Community. People say, well, you know what, I've always been part of community, but that hasn't helped me know, you really haven't been what we're talking about is a community. That's a very intentional right now. If you join a membership group of this on Facebook disorder, wherever the relationship is this, you pay your money and you have a direct or indirect relationship with that coach. And that's the exchange. Your in may be encouraged in network with people who are in. But really the value is exchanged between you and the coach. There is no real Community built of what it is, is a group of people who happen to be in close. Proximity virtually closed virtual proximity to each other. There is no intention behind the community. So if you think you have community on Facebook, just know the number one, there are some problems with that. Number one, being that it is a place. Place where people are encouraging you and even pressuring you to stay the same. Number one is lacks. The intention that is needed for community. And the value is between you. If you are in a group, the values between you and the coach. There is no intention for you to connect with people on a very meaningful level. I was just thinking about. If we even know how to be in community with each other because I remember, you know, young Tessa young, entrepreneur Tessa trying to build community on Facebook around. I had a pretty large writing group. Because, you know, I was, I was, you know, kind of successful with the first book that I wrote and I had all these opportunities and things like that. People want to know how I did it. So I created this group. And I thought I was trying to build community. But how could I build community when I have never truly been in the community? And the reason why stop that group is because I wasn't I was doing all this stuff for the community, but I'm getting back what I thought. I should be giving and that is a problem when you're needy because it was all about what I'm getting. I'm not, they should be doing this for me. It was all me of the community and how you build community. The leader of the community, should not be the center, right? The center of the community are the members, right? That is the issue with social media in general, because social media is personality-based. So what it does is it builds cult of personality and and there are lots of you there, you tools and things that you can use on social media. So, I'm not knocking that entirely putting things in perspective, and talking about what it really is, and what it really isn't. And just knowing that having that awareness is very important to our conversation, about what community is, but generally what Social media is no actually what social media is is a gathering around personalities and when you remove that personality, or if you don't have that personality moving the conversation, then the conversation just stops. And so, so, there's an entertainment Factor there is well, even if you think you have this one to one relationships or you think you have a, your Even on this on an equal plane. It really isn't. And so yes, the leader becomes the center of it. And so, what you're seeing is important to think about because that's the difference between putting people together in a group for the short-term and building a long-term community. So it really does. Follow the idea that we're better together. If me as a leader, I could eat for days and days and days, and I could go out and I could get the food by myself. I can hunt I could gather this all by myself. Take all the resources and suck up all the air, and I could live like a fat cat, but I could actually live. Longer in cooperation and collaboration with people and it's an exchange is a choice that we make. But in this modern environment in this virtual environment, we are putting we show up in the spaces where we think there is community. But we forget that community, no matter what the app says, no matter how the app puts together. The community is always about the intention. And the intention of Facebook is for them to make money off of your labor. The intent of Facebook is for them to make money off of your content. So as people who are worldbuilders of people who are trying to make a difference in the world, if they don't think they can make money off of, Of your content and don't give a flying fuck about you period. They don't care who they don't care about your ads. Don't care about your group. Don't care about anything because they cannot use and consume you right now. Whoo. Yes. Yes, and you know, the one of the many values of this conversation is this, there is a person who is thinking about leaving their job right now, or there's a person who just graduated from college and they are looking ahead and they see this working stuff is BS and they're trying to decide how they're going to show up in these. Spaces and they have been told by multiple people that they need to just keep showing up showing up. People will come and what this conversation is going to do is make them stop for a moment and think about what they are doing. Just because these tools are laid out in front of you. It doesn't necessarily need that tool fits what it is. You are trying to do. When you get into these spaces, but it's Facebook, takes like, a whatever you get. So many different messages and you think you're part of communities, but what the net result ends up being, is that you feel lonely. It can create loneliness and isolation number one, because you're not sure which message to listen to. But also, number two is because you pulled in So many different directions, it reduces your ability to make decisions the way you to make decisions. And so if you're a person who are who is entering these spaces, just know that these are tools, these spaces are not your business. They are tools for your business. These spaces are not automatic Community, Builders. The communities are built with intention, and if you're in a community, You're feeling lonely and isolated. You want to take a look at that? I always feel lonely and isolated inside, especially inside Facebook groups because I don't ever feel like I can be myself and that is a problem and that's why I got banned. And that's why my because I actually showed up as me, right. And I wasn't hurting anyone. Hi, I wasn't being mean. I wasn't being nasty. I wasn't being offensive to people and sort of way and Facebook said, no, not like that. You cannot show up here in this space are you're not you're not an adult enough. You have to be a model. Yes, but you mean that you cannot do any of those things. Nah. Not. Like you. Yeah, and that feels very icky for me why I am taking completely totally taking my business off of Facebook. The own reasoning on Facebook is is I'm going to use it as a tool, a very small tool and because I do have friends there who Who love me and it's a nice kind of express myself. Yes. Um, and so taking people off of Facebook and into the collective is how I'm going to be using Facebook for now on because I still don't have the it off of me. Uh-huh, from that. I still feel extremely violated from that. I'm still a Angry, yes, that happened and to me. These are all very valid feelings. Yes. They are. Yes, they are. And it's okay for me to feel that way. And so if you are feeling that way, know that you have options agent, Maine and an abusive manipulative relationship with any tool, right? Because that's what We're talking about and I for the record, I am still on Facebook in a very limited way. Certainly not the way I used to be. There are very specific things that I want to accomplish their if I see that, I cannot accomplish those things, there. I am moving on because I am looking at how this tool is working for me. And I have ways I'm going to quantify and measure whether or not it's working for me. I don't think you can use for most people is not wise to just totally disconnected because it is an important source of communication. And it has positioned itself that way. So just being aware. But what the experience that you're having is an experience that I think you and I both have had many different times throughout our lives where we show up as ourselves and we get in trouble for that because we're not supposed to, that's not how it's supposed to work. So people who are starting out and even if If you've been in business for a while, you really need to take a look at this and ask yourself, are these tools treating me the way I want to be treated? And if what am I giving to get access to this tool? And is that exchange enough in my favor? And if we take this type of abuse from tools will take you from people as well? Because this is the same but say that again, dr. Chip. If we take this from tools, and, and by the way, there are people. So these are not just tools. There is intention. There are people sitting at a desk or where they're sitting on their being bad coding with intention. They are making policy with intention and if you allow those people, it's not just a tool. But if you allow those programmers, those policy makers do real dog down to amuse, you Will allow people to abuse you in other areas of your life. Boundaries. Hmm. A conversation about boundaries and Facebook violated a boundary of mine. And so once you have a boundary violated, you have choices, you have to make and I'll you to violate me again, right? Or what am I going to do to limit your access to me, right? And I decided to limit its access to me. Now. My decision is my best for everyone everybody. That's all right. Pick Euler situation, but these are some things that you can think about when you're interacting with Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or Whatsapp or Dropbox, or whatever it is that you're interacting with and the internet or in your real life at your job. Job at family functions with your friends, you have boundaries and when something and someone violates those boundaries, it's now up to you to decide what your next move is. And some of these things are. I'm going to start to move in this direction. It none of these answers are cut and dry. None of them. No. No. No. You have to plan. What is your next series of moves? Let's look at what happened here. So you and I, we want, and I'm actually going back and looking at the Facebook post about our clubhouse. Gatherings this time, last year. We started working on clubhouse about, I would say, like, in February of 2021. So we, we're going back by the way, ha ha ha. Yes. We are. It's so around February, March, 21, because I'm getting a notification. It seems like from last year, the memories you and I started talking together producing on clubhouse. So that's what you know, we recognized that we had shared interest and we did that and then didn't for a while, but we stayed in contact with each other. And I think around August or September, we started talking more frequently. In and we started pitching ideas and working and having a weekly meeting and laying down some things and thinking about this and thinking about that. It's like, no will. Yeah, that's it. But no, not quite. Okay. Well, let's move over here. No, that's not quite it. But here's a piece of that is actually my point is that over time? We have built a community of two people, right? So let's look at what happened in situation in. This situation, I was tinkering with Ed's, just exploring some things, you had this experience where it was clear, how you reminded you? How did you already know reminded you how to monitor? You did not like the interaction that you have with Facebook. It really got you to thinking, you're prompted, you to make a post, which trigger something in me, and it got me to thinking in a hole, it complemented some ways that I was already thinking about Facebook. And then we had talked about, On the data cast. And so, the backdrop to all of this conversation is the community of to because had we not established this community with intention. This, this may have played out differently. But because we establish Community Theater people with intention, we now have this home-based we go back to and say, wait a minute. We need to look at this a little bit closer. It triggers something. Being in me, you started this conversation. It led to this conversation here on the podcast and we have a context for and rather than leading to more loneliness and isolation or despair or just feelings - feelings. It is, wait a minute. Here's what we do with this information. My community is telling me that I'm being monitored over monitor. My community is reminding me that I've had this experience over and over and over again. My community is reminding me that I don't have to take the tools as they are and just swallow them whole but I can actually evaluate them and see if they actually working on making a difference or even making any money for me. The community has done. I feel spent, right. I think we and totally spent by this conversation. I'm going to try to put into words, what I mean by spent think I have used all the energy that I have talking about this. I feel like I need to snuggle up in my Ed with a nice warm blankie. Take a nap. I feel like that. Everything that I had. It mean was just removed. I'm done. I'm done. I don't have anything more of to this. Yeah. And I feel like there's a lot of people right now that way it's not just about their business, but just in life itself. I just don't have any more to give with being monitored. I don't have any more any more to give with feeling. Like I don't belong on the whole episode of being other damn tired of being other in. Basis that I'm invited to really tired. I'm spent I'm just done. You know, and that's how the understand. I totally understand it because Facebook is huge. You know, Facebook has a force in the might of other police States. It has the capability to just totally cut you off. And when you're cut off from a platform like Facebook, you are cut off from a lot of people in voluntarily, they are. With whom you can have contact. So, I certainly understand that and there are many different things that have gotten. A lot of us in this same place. We talked a little bit about this before we started recording, but it just is and exhausting environment. Yeah, it just no I understand. I don't know that I have anything extra to answer that. So I was like it is it sounds like we've got to the end of our episode and I'm trying to think if I have any last words and I want to say something like it gets better, but you're going to have to make it better on your terms, right? That's the. It's better like is I'm not. There's no way that Facebook is going to get better for me. Two braids, right? So I have to make decisions to where I make things better for by using different tools, tools, being monitored and police, even in, in a lot of people don't know. This, you're even being monitored using Facebook Messenger. You're being every single thing that you use on Facebook. There is no privacy, right? Right? And in the grooves and the Audios in these rooms, no matter what it is that you're doing on Facebook. There is no privacy. So moving to Apps to tools where privacy is number one, that's where I'm going. And that we are going to build community using though so it can get better. But the balls in your court, you have to make that move. Dr. Kimberly. So what Facebook Entices us with this convenience. There are many things that just puts right in front of you and it is learning every day, but mining so much data. What to put in front of us, that is enticing for us. And here's the thing. This conversation really isn't about Facebook. Facebook is the context in which we have this conversation because we could have had a very similar conversation about Twitter about Tick-Tock about LinkedIn, about whatever other platform. People, you know, whatever. Hot blood, warm use Instagram, we could have had the same conversation. You said something very important. You said that, you have to Choose these tools on your terms. So the first thing is you have to understand what your terms are. Don't let the tools decide what your terms are. You have to decide what your turns are. And then the second thing is. Like what we're doing here is putting together a community with intention. If you're operating in the space by yourself and you're confused about who you should be talking to you, what you should be doing your contact and test that you can contact me. And we will provide you that guidance. Because you may need. Help trying to figure out what those terms are. And you may need somebody to point out to you that no, you should not be treated that way. You don't have to accept that, and if you're going to be monitoring the exchange of nice needs to work for you. If the exchange is that you keep your friends and family, happy and you show up, is the same person who never grows, who never changes, if that is enough exchange for you. And actually, I even if you listen to this, that will never be enough for you and you will get tired of that. Yeah, coz coz, coz you not attracted. Of this podcast because you want to stay the same. And so that exchange will run its course and you will get tired. I'm telling you, you will get tired of that. And when you decide that you need to have a life of your own that is not monitored by your friends and family. That is not monitored by Facebook in a certain way when you decide that you want to show up as you, this is your community. I love that. I love that so much and that is where we will end. This has been the coaches who built worlds with contesse Louise Cooper, and dr. Kimberly. Douglas now, goodbye.