In-Between: Getting Your Mindset Ready for 2023 w/ Michelle Wolfe

We've got a special guest on the pod this week! Please welcome Michelle Wolfe, host of The MUVE Forward Podcast and Founder of Muve Life Fitness Apparel Line.

If you're looking for direction on the energy you need to bring into 2023, well, look no further because today's episode is for you. We're talking about the Money Mindset, exuding confidence in going after what you want, how to attract and ACCEPT what's meant for you, and how to frame your outlook so nothing holds you back. 

Watch out world, we're all stepping into our power. ;)

Listen to The MUVE Forward Podcast

And you know where to find me - connect with me on Insta or TT:
@in.betweenpod on Instagram
@theinbetweenpodcast on TikTok

Connect with me:
@in.betweenpod on Instagram
@elizabethcheney_ on Instagram
@theinbetweenpodcast on TikTok
The In-Between Podcast on YouTube

Transcript

Liz: 0:03

Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of the In Between podcast. I'm your host, Elizabeth Cheney, and I am super excited. I have a very special guest. Some of you may have heard of her, some of you may not have, but I have Michelle Wolf of the Move Forward podcast. She is also a entrepreneur of her own fitness apparel brand, move life, and just overall super badass. So Michelle, thank you so much for joining us in the in between. How are you doing today? Oh my

Michelle: 0:29

good. I'm so good and I'm so excited to be here with you today. It's so fun jumping on other people's podcasts, so thank you.

Liz: 0:37

Yes. So, uh, real quick recap, let's give the listeners. Bio about you. So how long have you been podcasting? How long have you been in the entrepreneurial?

Michelle: 0:46

I, I always think of my best friend at this time cuz I'm like, she's really good with numbers and I always mess it up. So what I can remember, but, um, I have been podcasting now for, I wanna say four years. Oh wow. Because the January of 2019 that I started, so around there. Um, and then the entrepreneurial world, I wanna say my entire life I grew up on a farm and so, oh. You know, I used to make like wooden things and sell them, and I just Oh, cool. Hanging out with my mom and dad. They both were entrepreneurs and yeah, so just kind of dabbled into that since I was young. And then I became a massage therapist, um, and did my, I had my own practice outside of anywhere else that I would always work. So I'd say that I've always been an entre.

Liz: 1:37

I'll say, you sound like a, you sound like a maker. I love that. And I love that you were a massage therapist. So my mother was a massage therapist growing up. Mm-hmm. And so that's like a huge background of my life growing up, kind of holistically and, and things like that. So that's really, really interesting. So have you always been into that kind of, that space that, um, better, better self holistic care? Um, kind of just more on the, on the grounding level of life and

Michelle: 2:01

your outlook. Yeah, I'd say that it's always been a journey for me. So growing up, my mom passed away from cancer when I was eight, and so that was like a catalyst of curiosity of like, why did this happen? Could I prevent it? I had an aunt who was a traveler and she was so cool and she was a vegetarian, and so that was like interesting to me of like, what does that mean to do a pinnacle of cool aunt, right? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Um, and so that was like kind of just like dabbling into it. And then over the years I've just kind of figured out what works for me, um, and fell into massage therapy. Um, I'm really good with my hands and the healing and helping. So yeah, so that's kind of been that part of the journey as well. I

Liz: 2:50

love that. So it makes sense. So you're an energy worker and you put that out through your hands on the body. Um, side note, would love for you, my mother to talk cuz the conversations y'all would probably have. So I bet, I bet that is beautiful. And I'm so sorry that you lost your mother at such a young age. And that really had an impact on your, your life and your development. I love that you use the word curiosity. That's like a beautiful. I've never heard that word, especially for being eight years old, and I can only imagine how, you know, detrimental that was and devastating. So curiosity, that's, that's very beautiful. I might have to unpack that later. Um, okay. But on that note, I thought, so you were in this wellness space, you know, self loves. Self-help advocate. I thought, well, we're getting towards the end of the year, and I thought maybe we could talk about money mindset. I know a lot of people either are really excited for 2023 or they're starting to look back in 2022, and maybe they didn't quite hit their goals and the markers they were looking for. So I thought, you know what? Better person, Michelle Wolf, this entrepreneur established personality to come talk about that money mindset. How do we attract what we're going after? How do we bring that energy going into 2023? And also, you know, navigating when things don't quite go as planned, but that doesn't mean you're not on the right path. It's just sometimes you have curve balls and you have to kind of, you know, escape that as they come. So, on that note, let's start. So money mindset. Why is that something that you are very passionate about first and foremost? Manifesting, if you will.

Michelle: 4:16

Yeah, I love that. And, and I will side note to this, um, this morning I was actually looking at my computer and my computer screen is my, uh, vision board. I've had it there for very long time and one of the main things right in the center is, A woman, I, I got online, a woman wearing active wear, and I put the word move and spelled my way, m u v e, um, on her active wear. And it was like a vi, it was a vision that I had for so many years, and I never, ever, ever went forward with it until this past January. Um, and started creating it. And so it's just like, it just goes to show you that, you know, if it's in front of you, it might happen. And I kept looking around this morning and I'm like, okay. Why did I have Netflix on there again? Ok, I, ok. Why is Oprah Ellen Mini Tree? What am I seeing here? Okay, I gotta, I gotta remember these things because clearly it works. Um, so the reason why I'm so passionate about. Focusing on being successful and having money is because I have lived a life where I see people who have money and I see people who struggle, and I would rather be on the side where I have money to be able to share it and spread it and enjoy it with all. Absolutely. Um, I'm one who loves to travel and I wanna be able to pick up whenever I wanna pick up and be able to even, for instance, bring my daughter and have a tutor for her if I would need that. Right. Um, I wanna know that if somebody were to get sick, that I would be able to provide everything. Necessary because I know working at a neurological rehab facility for seven years, I saw what people went through when they didn't have money and when they did have money, and what type of services they were able to have when they did have the money for that. And I wanna be able to provide that for, uh, people that I love or for myself if necessary, if ever. I love that. So these, these are like my main, my main instigators of like, okay, for, for myself and for all the people I love. I just wanna have a life of freedom. And that entails having financial freedom. Absolutely,

Liz: 6:32

and I'm really happy that you said that because I do think that there is a weird attitude towards talking about money and wanting to be successful. Of course, that's, yes, we want that. I want everyone to want that and, and go after it. But why, why do you think there is like a negative connotation and dare I say, especially when women are feeling focused and wanting to go after that kind of goal, um, mindset. Why do you. This kind of topic, cause I wanna talk about this too, right? Why is it not as common? Why do you think people are a little less hesitant to embrace? Because I, I would go on a limb and argue or like to think everyone would want that financial freedom. Cuz I agree with you. It's not even just about having all the things, it's about being able to take care when things get difficult or, or just being comfortable. Like, what's wrong with being comfortable and feeling, you know, I have

Michelle: 7:18

some friends, a group of friends, and when we get together, they know that I've always had this desire to be a multi-millionaire and to just, you know, succeed exponentially. And they talk often about how they, they don't need to have it. Oh, I'm okay this way. I, I would rather not have all that money. And I just keep thinking like, okay, but are you looking at the bigger picture? I understand that. So much fear comes with the word money. Mm-hmm. And I feel like so many people have been told that if you have it, you are bad, you're not good, you do bad things. Absolutely. You're gonna get in trouble, you're gonna get in the wrong group. There's so much negativity around this. But I surround myself with good people. I am a good person. And what we know is. What you are already, you are going to just be amplified when you have more money. For instance. So when I didn't have a lot of money, the ways I would give back would be I would pay for somebody's coffee when I was in line for whatever, you know, one time I paid for. Um, at Dairy Queen, I paid for the guy in front of us. My daughter and I, we paid for the guy in front of us and it turned out being to be his 11 year old son's birthday cake. He got in the car and screamed my story, and my daughter was the time and it was just so cool. You know, I paid 35 bucks for a birthday cake. When you become more financially stable, you are able to pay for so much more and have more of an impact. Not that I'm belittling those moments that I can do when I don't have as much financial freedom, but to be able to, for instance, um, I don't know, pay for somebody to go to university. How amazing would that? Be, oh my gosh, what does that feel on your soul? Right. So, and, and I'm looking back to women who are dealing with cancer and so I give large sums of money to places that I know are helping provide services and things for women who are dealing with cancer. So it's just, it's, it's a powerful tool to be able to help and give back in whatever way you.

Liz: 9:32

I love that and I love that you talked about the amplifying the person that you are with the money. Um, side note, when you mentioned about paying for somebody to go to university, I have always had this deep goal to one day be successful, to have enough money to have my own like charity where I could support somebody to have a scholarship. So I. I love that we have the same, mindset with that, that's kind of special. Um, okay. So on that

Michelle: 9:52

note, it's funny though. I don't even have that desire. That's not one of my desires. It just came outta my mind. So that's a download that I have received from somewhere to give that to you or whoever's listening to be like, Hey, have you ever thought of this? Like, let's figure out how we can do this to make this happen.

Liz: 10:08

I love that. Yep. So you really just gave a lot of confidence in, wanting money. It's okay to want money and, and to lay the groundwork. Cuz I agree with you that when you think of money, there is like the word greed that comes to be, and then especially like to what you're saying, people who do come from wealth, the representation or the mindset behind it. So you just gave a, some like, Right on the bullseye confident approach to money and, and how we should approach it and how we should feel about it and not feel guilty for wanting it. We have money goals going into 2023. We have success goals and accomplishing goals. So, You seem very, very set concrete in your foundation of your beliefs and who you are. Also in terms of your goals of money and, and, and your career goals. So on that note, I have kind of two questions cuz I think this will help as we think about our goal planning and what we wanna manifest and bring to us as the individual. How, how was the journey to get to that confidence of like, this is what I deserve, this is what I attract, this is what I'm visualizing, this is what I'm accepting to come to me. Ooh.

Michelle: 11:14

You know, I've never really thought about what it all went through. I know that I've had times and I still struggle with times where I'm like, okay, I'm not exactly where I wanna be. Why is this? What am I doing wrong? This is my fault. You know? Which typically it is something to do with your mindset if you are not exactly where you wanna be, because we do create the life that we want. Um, But, you know, I think that it's just a lifelong journey of, of self development. You know, I surround myself with positive people. I listen, listen to, different podcasts, and read books, and do things that really help me believe and know that I am. Able to desire and to have whatever I want. I actually have this, um, this voice note that I recorded. Okay. And I play it every single night before I go to bed. I literally fall asleep to it. And it's basically my voice recorded saying things like, I am amazing, I am deserving. Um, and i, I. Spell out exactly what it is that I am, who I am in this moment. So I don't talk about it as if like I want to be that person or I, I, strive to be that person. I say that I am that person, so I am successful. I have, you know, X amount of money in the bank, or I am doing this or that. I, I spell it out and I literally say it as if I'm that moment. So I fall asleep to. Imagining that I am there in

Liz: 12:41

that space. Ooh, I love that. Those are some affirmations. Those are strong.

Michelle: 12:45

Exactly. So you get yourself in that vibration, because I wanna ask you when you are, so for instance, having this podcast, okay, so you're, you're newer. Let's say you're newer at, at doing the podcast, you're not as confident. You, you haven't had very many interviews, or you don't know how to, I mean, I don't know, speak as confidently as what you would hope, right? When you come across as. You will be that. Right. Your voice will be correctly and your, your, your body will kind of shrink a little bit. You'll see that like you sit a little bit differently because you're like, oh my God, like I'm scared. Right. If you were to stand up in front of like a thousand people. Right. Right. However, if you tell yourself like, you know, I'm. I'm amazing at this. I am so good. I am so confident. I have got this like I'm gonna rock this show. If you see I have sat up taller, my shoulders are back, my voice is stronger, and I have this confidence with inside of me. So by telling yourself who you are and what you are wanting to be, and pretending almost to be that person, you are literally portraying a different energy and that energy. Exuding out into the world and attracting what it is that you're actually wanting to have in your life and what it is that you should have at this moment when you are this energy. Because when you're in that lower frequency, that energy that you're, you're, you're, you're, you're actually in or you feel like you're in, um, you're not able to attract into and to have the things that you're meant to have, like,

Liz: 14:17

and you're so right. And I talk often about imposter syndrome and, and things like that on the podcast, cuz I struggle with that. I mean, I know everybody does. Sure. And to what you're saying, like, Hey, you are very confident you know what you're about, you know what Michelle's goals are, but hey, will you still have bad days? And I think the biggest thing is when that happens, like you still get back on the horse like you are still Michelle, attracting the life you want. And you are, you are finding that success. But that doesn't mean that you don't have moments of insecurity, moments of self doubt. I think that's natural. So I love that. Are so confident and have such a great bright energy, but you accept or even acknowledge, hey, sometimes I stumble, sometimes this happens, but I still attract what is meant for me and allow that to come to me. I, I, I really do love that. And you're right, it is, you know, we're doing this thing at my, my job where we're trying to train some sales people to be a little better on the phones, this and this. And they, they are trying to get mirrors to put on their computer and they want them to watch them on the phone because when they're having a bad call or maybe it's not quite going the way they want, they can see themselves and they can smile, and it changes the whole conversation. So I agree with you. Your posture talking confidently talking as the self versus the future tense or even the past tense. It does change the whole game, and it's a little bit of the whole fake it till you make it right, like that's essentially what we're doing here. So,

Michelle: 15:32

but it's just everything, even like, even when you're sick. So I, so my daughter's been sick recently. And you can see it, you know, like, oh, you know, I don't feel very good. And I'm like, okay, well, like let's, let's say that you do feel really good. Like what would that look like? You know? And her body changes and she sits up straight and she's like, I actually feel better. And I'm like, exactly. It's amazing how our mind really plays the biggest part in everything we do when it comes to relationships, when it comes to the way we speak, our confidence, our success, our health, our mindset is like the most important piece of the.

Liz: 16:07

Absolutely mindset. So that's probably why money mindset is so important. Okay, so with that said, so if somebody, let's, let's just role play here. Someone who struggled with their goals or what they were really trying to set to accomplish in 2022, maybe they're feeling a little down, they're not quite sure how they wanna pivot for 2023. Maybe they're trying to get a new job and make more money. If it were you, how would you go about, and not just like, kind of re-energizing the confidence, but laying out the groundwork, the foundation to get set, set, to get the mindset ready for 2023. Get the mindset ready to, to pursue and crush your goals.

Michelle: 16:42

So there's, if you've ever seen the movie The Secret, okay. I think there's so much emphasis on what you manifest will come, what you think of and what you want to come to. You will come to you, absolutely. That is a huge piece of the puzzle, okay? Mindset is all about really, truly believing what it is that you want. But what happens is when you truly believe, When you truly decide today that that's what you want, what not only is that you think about it, but you start to move throughout your day differently. You start to actually make action, take action, doing things to actually achieve that. So let's say you said, okay. Listen, I did not achieve what I wanted to achieve by the end of the year, and I really want that thing to happen. So what you have to do is you have to start believing that you're going to have that, but then all of a sudden you're gonna get these downloads of like, Hey, maybe you should call this person, or you should reach out to this company, or you should go on that date, or you should eat that extra salad. Whatever it is for whatever area that you're looking for, if it's money, you should, um, reach out to that certain company and see if they're interested in your product. You know? So if you get a download, if you have like a thought of something you should do, you have to act on it cuz these are the things that are actually meant for you to move forward and to achieve what it is that you wanna achieve. Okay. Okay. So, so many people are stuck on this mindset piece of just like, if I dream it, it will come. Yes. If you dream it, it will come in areas in downloads of teaching you how to achieve it. Okay, so there's that action piece that I think way too many people are just like completely forgetting about and thinking that you can just let go. And it's not that you have to work your butt off, but it's that you just have to kind of move with the flow, like what it tells you. Do it right? If something feels like you're meant to go forward and, and, and, and bring that into your life, then, then go about

Liz: 18:39

and. So it's more than just visualizing it. That is important is you have to allow and see yourself in whatever the, the, the place is. But you do the action is there. Um, so one thing I wanna ask real quick. You, I, what do you mean by download for those who are maybe not familiar with that term? So if you could go into that.

Michelle: 18:57

Okay. So whether you believe in God's spirit, universe, whatever it is, a higher power, energy, whatever it is that you believe in, you were probably getting. Signals or these feelings. Okay. It's like when you get those little, those little bumps on your arm, okay, little goose bumpies. Yeah. That's a feeling telling you that something is right or something is wrong. Um, you might get a thought come to your head like, oh, I should really call my my aunt and talk to her about xyz. Who knows why? Or like a. Friend that I met 15 years ago, I should maybe call them and connect with them. Um, so what these downloads are is they, are these like spiritual guiding, uh, messages that we get. Again, you can say it's from God, your spirit guides, whoever it is. Maybe it's just your mind that it comes from, you may believe, um, but whatev, whatever you believe in, these things come to you and they, they help guide you to where you're going. Okay. So you've probably had a feeling of like, I shouldn't be doing that. Something feels wrong about this. Right, right. You listen to that or you know about your body. My body. It feels off about something. I feel like I should get this checked out. I don't know why, but something is giving me this feeling when you follow those. Gut instincts is another word that you can use for it. These are going to lead you into the path where you're meant to be, and it might not be the. The direct thing right away, right? But it's going to lead you onto that path of where you're meant to be. So for instance, I last night got this random idea to message like five people, that I haven't talked to in forever to come to this event that I'm having over the weekend, um, at my dad's place for my active wear line. I'm just showing some people some of my stuff, and I never thought of these people beforehand. It just came. And so what you do is you make that phone call. What can happen is that could lead to a $10,000 deal That could lead to communication to then later on lead to a 10,000 deal, $10,000 deal. I don't exactly know what the reason is, but I know that those download those feelings, those gut instincts told me to do that. And so I listen because that is giving me the guidance to. Those goals and those things that I am praying for.

Liz: 21:21

I'm listening. I'm also feel like I'm absorbing everything you say and also learning. I'm like, okay, Michelle's tips for that. I need to write that down. Oh my God. That's genius. Okay, so we visualize what we want. We recognize there will be action involved to pursue what we want. These goals always. And when and when we find, and when I feel like we are aligned in the mindset, aligned in what we want, then we listen to the gut instinct. We listen to these receptors, these downloads, these signs. And we've kind of just jumped through, jump in. We follow through with what, what is being signaled to us. And I, I agree, like you don't know where that path may lead, but, and it may not lead anywhere, but it leads to a connection that leads somewhere. I think that is very important. Um, and with that also comes a little patience cuz that's something that I've been struggling with a little bit lately, is pursuing certain goals, making little progress. But then there's the in between, no pun intended, of waiting, you know, to get to that next step or wait for the next answer, and being frustrated in that patience, in that period of waiting. Um, so it's that mindset, going back to the mindset and, and being receptive to what the universe, what God is trying to say to you is super important because in the moments of frustration or in the moments of you kind of falling off the horse, it's, it puts you back on the right path, in my opinion.

Michelle: 22:36

And so I wanna ask you when you are not satisfied with the timing of what you're achieving, mm-hmm. do you trust and believe that your goals will actually one day happen?

Liz: 22:48

I do, but it may take a second, like as in maybe I need to process, maybe I need to journal to get my, my emotions on paper to kind of validate myself. Cuz that's one thing that I definitely learned in therapy is you have to validate those feelings, those negative feelings, or else you're just gonna beat yourself up over them and it's gonna kind of compound and just stick you more in the ground. So in those moments of frustration, In the moment. Sure. Maybe it's not so much, I'm completely going down the negative path spiral of it's not gonna happen. Oh my gosh. Cause it's not happening right now. But there is certain levels depending on the situation where I'm like, All right. I was really feeling positive and I saw the light, and now the light's not there, and I'm not quite sure how to emotionally regulate but I will eventually get back on the goal setting and the

Michelle: 23:32

plan, right? So those feelings that you're having is you not fully believing that you are going to achieve your goal? So not until you fully, well, I shouldn't say not until, because you can still achieve it if you don't fully believe it. you're gonna make it easier on yourself, right? It's gonna be a lot easier. You start to just trust. And the thing is, is that when we fully trust, like when we fully believe in the depths of our core, that what is meant to come to us, will come to us at divine timing, at the exact timing that it is meant to come for us. All of that stress goes. It's just as if, poof, it's gone. And then you have all that energy to start working on other things that feel good for you. Maybe it's even just taking a nap without stress. Right? Right. Like why do we wanna put extra stress on ourself? So I want you also to think about when we talk about this divine timing and things coming to us at the right timing. Can you imagine if I started my active wear line here and I didn't have the product that I needed to have, or I, let's say I got my product, okay? Mm-hmm. it's the beginning, first run, and it turns out that the tights were all, this did not happen. Okay? Just, y'all know my tights are perfect but. Let's say the, the stitching in the tights were all messed up. They were all terrible, but I didn't really know that yet because I hadn't received them. I hadn't had time to wear them. I hadn't had time for other people to wear them. And somebody right off the bat decides that they wanna spend. $50,000 on tights. Ok. So that's like a lot of tights. That's like thousands and thousands, hundreds of thousands. Like, bring it on if you want that. I'm, I'm welcome to it. Um, let's say that happens and I sell it to this huge, massive company and all of these people start wearing my tights and all of them start to fall apart. My name is, I am done, my business is done. I no longer can be in service because everybody knows me as the tights that fall apart. Right. Okay. So that divine timing has allowed me to wait till I am ready. Till I am in the right place to figure out that those tights weren't right, get them right until they're right, then I'm ready to have this huge, massive sale happen. That's the perfect timing. So you never know why the timing is not quite right, whether it's you are not emotionally stable for it, whether it is there's something else that's bigger and better for you, and your dream is not even what you think it will be in a few months. Um, who knows what it. But there's always a reason why this certain thing is not coming to you in the time that you want it. You also have to take a look and, and pay attention to are you actually making the right steps and doing what you meant to be doing. Listening to the downloads actually moving forward, taking that action. Um, but truthfully, if it's not coming to you yet, it's because it's not meant to. And so, rather than pushing it and, and, and, and trying to make something happen, that's not meant to happen. Trust. Trust it, that it is just exactly where it is meant to be and that when it is ready and meant to be to that next level or to that next thing, or to, to achieving what you, what it is that you want, it will come. It will come.

Liz: 26:49

I'm like thinking like, okay, I need to write that infor affirmation down cuz you're so right. And speaking of affirmations, I really loved that you talk about the affirmation you do for yourself, but how you speak in the present tense. I heard that on another podcast and when she was talking about, you know, I know I may not be this person yet. She was, um, a content creator, influencer, and she's like, you know, I wanna have X amount of followers, X amount, people who subscribe to my, my custom content. And she's like, so my affirmations are I am xyz. I am this person with X followers, I am this person. And she even talked about how it, it changed, like how she, her confidence and how she approaches her business. And she has seen a success. So you are so right. That is very important. I should probably do that a lot more. I think it helps her confidence. But you know, one thing that keeps, you have such wonderful energy and confidence, it's something I keep thinking about right as you speak, and I just think like, How, why is that so hard to be confident to, to love ourselves, to believe that we can achieve all of this. That we can achieve every dream no matter how big or how small. I love that you're talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars with your apparel brand and companies and this and this, and I, and it's gonna happen. I can feel it. I know it. Like ask and it, it's gonna happen. You visualize it. So have you struggled with the big dreaming? Have you struggled? Maybe not even personally, but how about this? Your network, your inner circle, your your peers, um, cuz sometimes, and doesn't mean they're bad people, but insecurities make, you know, manifest in different ways. But has there been apprehension from that? Has there been, oh, Michelle, Yeah, your tights are gonna be great. You know, how, how, um, how have you juggled or navigated any kind of bumps in the road in that, in terms of your goals and your manifesting mindset and action. Yeah, I don't

Michelle: 28:41

think, I think everybody believes that I'm going to get what I want because I just have that confidence. I love it. Um, but I will say that that confidence comes with a cost. Like I, I think that I always was a very confident human. Um, but I mean, it took me about 10 years to start this business because I didn't truthfully have the confidence to start it. I didn't know how to start it. I'd never seen. Start in apparel line or um, be in fashion or anything like that, ever. So I had never seen it before. Um, so it took me a really long time to truly believe that like I could actually have this. And once I made that decision, I was like, okay, I know that like. I'm meant to be on like a stage talking to thousands of people. I know that I'm meant to have 20 million downloads with my podcast. I know that I am meant to, um, have this multimillion dollar business. So in order to achieve that, I need to overcome. Whatever types of trauma that could be hindering in my soul in my life. So I'm gonna tackle this and I'm gonna tackle it hard. So I started doing trauma therapy. Okay. Um, and it has been the most in. Readable thing I have ever done. It has improved my relationships with my stepdaughter, with my partner, um, my business wise, like business wise, my own self-confidence. It has been incredible. So I truly believe that when you really decide to, Really go forward with whatever it is that you want. You have to take a look at what could be stopping you or what could be those things that are blocking you. And for me, I was like, I'm just gonna tackle this. It might be something that it will help. And it was the best thing I have ever done. Um, it's called Internal Family Systems and it's my therapist. That's what she studies. And the poly feal polyvagal theory. And, uh, so you really look back at those past traumas that have done things to you, or maybe somebody said something to you in your past life. Right. I had a neighbor who once told me when I was saying I was reciting my speech. Okay. I used to do speeches. I was the girl who won. Speeches, right? I love talking

Liz: 30:54

clearly. Me too

Michelle: 30:55

So why I would win my speeches and then I'd move on to the, to the, um, the gym and every in front of everybody. And then I would move on to the county. And, um, I remember this one speech that I had and I was an actress. I, like I was speaking that I was an actress and I what my life would look like and I would have a limo and I would drive around in my limo all the time. And my neighbor is listening to me reciting this. Speech when I was, I don't know, maybe 10 years old. And she looked at me and she's like, you realize that that's not real life, right? Like that won't ever happen. And I was like,

Liz: 31:30

excuse me.

Michelle: 31:33

Pardon it. I can help whatever I want. And I just remember just thinking like, how dare somebody tell me that I can't have something as simple as like driving around in a limo, like not a big deal. Funny enough, my neighbor had a prom, uh, that that year and she invited me into her limo with all of her friends that were, you know, 10 years older than me. And I was like, I'm riding around in a limo right now. I can have whatever I want, You did it I did it. But these little digs that come to us, whether it was the little boy on the playground or whether it was a neighbor or whoever it was, parents, parents are very influential and and that's a big piece of the puzzle. Um, But the, these things that we're taught shape who we are and the way that we think, and to overcome that, you need to do some serious work. Um, and so that was why I chose to dive in and, and, and do the therapy. And it's, and it's, I, I wanna say that it's a big piece of why I feel, and that I am so confident.

Liz: 32:37

Thank you for sharing and uh, I love the confidence of 10 year old Michelle. It's amazing. It's, and I, you know, and I'm sitting here thinking, cuz I'm thinking, yeah. 10 year old me probably would've been very insecure by that comment from the person. And then I'm also thinking, wow, you're right though. It's really writing on a limo. Why? That's not a crazy concept. No. But, you know, doing the work is so important and that's something that, I mean, I've always been a big advocate of therapy. I struggle with anxiety and, um, I was in a really bad car accident in 2017. And it, I had a really bad concussion afterward and it scrambled my brain. I always used to say I scrambled eggs brain. And the past, the past year has been my coming into my power, stepping back into my power. But the four years before that was a healing journey. And I think doing the work is so important. Um, everyone has different levels of trauma. I'm not gonna sit here and say my story is worse or better. Um, but doing the work is not just getting through those. Traumas and the, the belief system and, and overcoming these obstacles, but it's also teaching you how to love yourself. And then you can forgive yourself when you do, you know, stumble or this or this or you can forgive yourself for your past, cuz I don't know, I don't know about you, but with my anxiety sometimes I'll think, oh God, I did that like a year ago. Oh gosh, I did that like eight years ago. And it's like super cringe. And I just feel like doing the work not only heals you, but it teaches you how to love yourself. So in those moments where maybe you weren't your best self, you. Move past it and forgive. So, and this is all in alignment with us going after our goals, visualizing what we want, and, and recognizing we deserve that and going after it and listening to those, those downloads, those gut instincts. Because I feel like if you don't have the self-love, you may not hear those downloads. You may not register the gut instincts to do, to do whatever it is that you're being called to do. So self work is a huge part. I, I would say, and I'm sure you would agree, Going after your goals, visualizing your goals and, and making your dreams a reality.

Michelle: 34:37

Absolutely. And while you were sharing that, something came to me, um, using that whole idea of believing what we have now rather than believing what we. Don't want to have. Um, it comes with also our vocabulary. So use certain words that is what we attract. So for instance, you know, things like the word anxiety. So my daughter started using that word like, oh, I feel like I have anxiety. And I'm like, get that word out the door. never use that word in this house. That is not something that I ever wanna hear you ever say again. Okay. Let, let's talk about it. Okay. So how are you feeling right now? Okay. You're feeling a little bit overwhelmed, or you're feeling a little bit like unsure of something. You're feeling a little bit maybe stressed about something. Okay, so how do you want to feel? Right? How would you prefer to be feeling right now? So then we talk about like what that would look like to get to that point. Oh, and then we talk about that rather than saying that we're anxious because when we talk about being anxious, Um, unhealthy or broke. Um, what we're doing is we're actually bringing more of that into our lives. We know that what we say is actually attracting more. So even, for instance, with my boyfriend, I used to say that he's a dick or that he was rude, or that,

Liz: 36:00

you know, we're not getting along or that I hate him or

Michelle: 36:03

whatever. You know, like there'd be moments where I would say things and I'd be like, But that's not what I want. Like I want a man who is confident. I want a man who is strong and healthy and happy, and kind and loving and funny. So I'm gonna use those words. and, and same with myself. I feel confident, I don't feel confident all the time, but when I don't feel confident, I certainly don't say he sit here and say like, uh, feel confident, right? Like, cuz that's help attract, right? What it's that I want. So whatever it is that we're wanting, we need to use that vocabulary in order to attract more of it. That is not denying that we. Certain feelings or certain things, right? That is just calling upon more of what we wanna have. We can acknowledge what we feel, what we have, but then also say, but. I would prefer to have this, so I'm going to focus on feeling that way. I'm gonna visualize it, I'm gonna use the vocabulary. And then hopefully within time, you're gonna start to feel more that way and less of that other way.

Liz: 37:14

I love that. That's like a super healthy emotional regulation. So it's, it's a, it's changing the framework of your mind, but even in like a more, Healthy, like concrete way. Um, I, I love that. So, alright. Trigger word anxiety. I need to like, make a note, put that on my mirror in my bathroom, so. Right. It's

Michelle: 37:32

powerful how that word can really bring it on.

Liz: 37:36

No, that's so true. I never really thought about that. It, what

Michelle: 37:39

does your body do? Like, ooh.

Liz: 37:42

Right. Your shoulders gets a little tight,

Michelle: 37:44

little sand. Yes. Mm-hmm. it's a mind boggling. Like, I want you to pay attention to it. Like really try. And even when, and I know we're talking about money, the word broke. How does it make you feel? Like, what happens to your body? Do you start to get like, oh my God, oh my god, you know, absolutely racing. And you get a little bit stressed out, my fingers shaking. Like, look it, that word broke just like makes me like do this shaky thing and I wanna. Wealthy

Liz: 38:07

baby. I wanna be

Michelle: 38:08

successful, right? So right. What happens when we use this vocabulary is we get the emotions along with it. Even I have shingles right now and they're itchy right here. And a second ago they were itching and I was like, Nope, not itchy. It goes away. It's like literally goes away when I tell myself in my brain that it's not, there's, it's,

Liz: 38:27

you have such a strong mental focus. But, and it, and I'm sure it took practice and, and work to get there. Um, and I, and I'm working on that cuz the intrusive thoughts definitely can be a thing. And it's, it's, they're definitely not near as bad as they were when I was struggling with my depression. But, um, I never thought working on it. Exactly. Exactly. And self-awareness is super important and you've given me this. Validation of, Hey, okay, working on it is important. Yes, and, and this conversation, I'm right now, I'm like, oh my gosh, I need to work on the anxiety thing. Cuz here I am working on the word hate. Like, I hate my job, or I hate my apartment, or I hate my circumstance. Don't use the word hate. What is that gonna do? Just make you feel even more. Crappy, more shitty in your situation. And, and that's not the mindset. So you have to reframe, like, I may not be comfortable in my current situation in my apartment, but we have goals to buy a house in the new year, so I'm gonna focus on that and, and not focusing on how I don't. Like what I'm in or, or focusing on the stress or whatever, how it may make me feel.

Michelle: 39:25

Um, I was in the same spot. I'm living in a house that I do not wanna be in. It is my, my, my, uh, stepdaughter's mom's house. She passed away from the same cancer that my mom passed away. There's, there's a lot of trauma. Okay. There's, that's, that's layered. That's okay. Well, but we are looking for a. And I know that it's coming and I know that financially, like the market is all like weird. So we make a financial decision to do this. So rather than constantly being like, I hate this, this sucks. Am I doing here? Which I will tell you it does come so I am not perfect. Okay? Those thoughts come. But what happens is I quickly remind myself, hold on a second. This is not gonna make anything better. So what am I gonna focus on? And I'm gonna focus on the fact that we're gonna find that place it is gonna. Best, beautiful, most incredible, homey, warm, comforting place. I cannot wait. I'm so excited for it. I feel it. I feel that I am here. I literally in this house now, I envision that I am in the house that I wanna be in when I cook in my kitchen. It is a different color. Okay. It is a different color. It is a different setting. It's just like when I was in my vehicle, I used to drive my vehicle and I would envision a different vehicle. What happened? Literally within a month, I get into a fender bender. They paid my, my vehicle more money than what it was worth, and I got my brand new vehicle. Honey, it comes, it comes. That's

Liz: 40:49

impressive. That's impressive. And, and, and the trust belief. It all, it all stems into your self worth and your self love. Accepting. Like, okay, you're in that pa, that waiting period, but accepting it's gonna come. It's just, it's gonna come. Wait for it. Wait for it, and don't let the insecurity, the negativity, the anxiety. You know, we don't use that word, but you know what I mean? Yeah, totally. Take you down. Um, and I, and I mean that all spells the right recipe to crush your goals in 2023. Um, maybe even develop different goals. Develop like more, more bigger goals. Like, Hey, I've been thinking right here in front of myself, but I need to look at the 10 mile stretch because I deserve that. But it's intimidating to think bigger, grandiose, but I. Believing in yourself, doing all the things that we're talking about will make that reality seem more achievable, in my opinion. Um, cuz sometimes I used to feel a little not insecure by any means. Cause I've always been confident in my dreams and goals, but a little hesitant to share them cuz I know that my dreams and goals were a little bit bigger. I'm not trying to say than everybody else's cuz that's kinda negative. That's not what I mean, but it's something personal. right. So how I, I think one way to close this episode and how everything that we're talking about going with these, these dreams, these goals for 2023 to be our best selves to crush, to get the money, to get the house, to get the career, to beat an entrepreneur, whatever it is that we're all sitting on. How do we also stay comfortable with our, our dreams, um, when society. It doesn't always encourage it, especially as a woman, right? We have all this work, we're doing this self work. And then the final stretch is how do we accept the big dreams we have? How do we pursue those? How do we not feel silly or childish about them? How do we stay comfortable and confident in our dreams in what we want no matter how big or how?

Michelle: 42:41

So I'm gonna share with what I prefer to do, and I, and I really believe that it would work for you as well. Um, be very mindful at who you speak to with your dreams. Okay? Your dreams are very valuable and so are words from other people. They can truly impact the way that you think, the way that you move forward, the way that you act within your day and, and moving towards these goals. And so, for instance, with my apparel, Nobody in my family knew about it. Nobody, oh. Until I literally

Liz: 43:13

launched it. Interesting. Okay. I worked

Michelle: 43:16

on it for six. Months. Not my, not my partner, my ma my, my, my husband. I call him my husband. He's not a husband, but he's, he's a husband. Um, and my, and my daughter, they knew about it, right? And a lot of my friends who I could trust and who understood being an entrepreneur, what that looked like, and the desires and the big, big, big, big, big goals. But anybody else didn't know about it. The reason being is I didn't want even one person. To say one thing to me that would set me off, and it's not that they didn't believe in me or that my family, my, my family outside of, out, out of this home don't believe in me. I know that they do. Right. Um, I just really feel deeply with the way that they even look, the way that they even have silence around a conversation. And so I did not want anything to impact my ability to move forward. Be very mindful at who you're speaking with. Find those people. Whether it is somebody online even, you could have a conversation with me, like I would love to cheer you on, like you sound like you have really big dreams. I would love to know what they are. I would love to sit here with you and dream big and figure out how we can make it happen. You never know who knows who to make you and help you connect you to what you're supposed to be doing. But if you talk to Joe Blow who has no idea what it means to be an entrepreneur or to have big dreams, they're gonna say something that's gonna stop you. I had a friend who is an entrepreneur, but she was in a bad space in the moment that I talked to her about it, and she actually told me straight. Don't do it. You're gonna be wasting your time, wasting your money, and I don't think it's a very good idea. I'm going through this terrible time right now. We're not making any money. I'm super stressed out, da da da

Liz: 45:06

da. She's projecting. Yeah, she was projecting what happened. Now

Michelle: 45:10

she's become very successful and she sees my business and she's so proud that I did what I did. It stopped me three months, three months of my time from investigating and looking up what I was doing. So that stopped me even more and I'm like that one comment.

Liz: 45:27

Right. You know what I mean? It's

Michelle: 45:28

amazing how people can influence you. So be very choosy and mindful of who you speak your dreams to.

Liz: 45:34

thank you for sharing that. That's very important and very. Very great advice. Um, cuz I struggled with talking about the podcast before I was ready to even create the podcast. And then I felt like a phony. I felt insecure. Like, here I am, I'm just talking about this thing that doesn't even exist. You know, talk, talk, talk. No action. And it wasn't that anybody else gave me negative feelings, but it was me kind of, I don't know, overcompensating for my self doubt and imposter syndrome to start it by talking about it. And I thought, talk about it enough, maybe it'll actually happen, right? Yeah. And then I got in my own head about it. So, Be careful who you share it with because like you said, people will project, you don't know the kind of reaction you may get. And, and you don't need someone to crush your dreams or crush your goals cuz they may not understand it, but also be mindful of, of just keeping it to yourself because it's your baby. Like it's, you gotta incubate it like you don't need outside approval. If you want it, if you believe it, if you dream it, it's worth it and it needs to happen. You do not need any outside approval and that's very hard. Like I, I believe that we're not necessarily taught how to love ourselves. And that's one the big message that I like to believe in. And I, if I can be that, that catalyst, that bridge to help you love yourself. Yes, sign me up. That's what I'm here for. You know? And, and with self love comes self validation. Those dreams become more manageable and more, Hey, heck yeah, I can freaking do it. But yes, keep it safe because it's, think of it as. Piece of your soul. Like it's a piece of your, your baby in a way, you know? Um, so also be mindful

Michelle: 47:00

of those downloads. If you get a download that you're meant to tell somebody, it's likely cuz they can help you move forward faster and in an easier way. So talk to that person and who knows what they know or who they know to help you get the information you need in order to start it. Put

Liz: 47:16

yourself out. Don't be afraid. Jump into it. Yeah, baby. I love that. I love that. Well, Michelle, you are so incredible. I really, really enjoy this conversation. I, I'm sure everyone listening is, is taking notes. I mean, I was taking several notes throughout this, this interview, this conversation. Um, but where can everybody find you? Let's talk about what your, your social handles and also your fitness apparel. Tell everyone everything, cuz I'm sure everyone wants to know about Michelle. Wolfe now.

Michelle: 47:45

All right, so, well, I am on uh, Instagram at the Michelle Wolf and that's the easiest way to find me for like inspirational stuff. I just put brand whatever stuff that feels good in the moment, you know, kind of stuff and lot lots about health and wellness. Um, and then my. Podcast is move forward and that's m u v E forward the Move Forward podcast. Um, and Move Life is my apparel line and we're on Instagram and it's move life.com. And come check it out. I was everybody to

Liz: 48:20

Yeah. I'm gonna have to get some leggings myself. I mean, I was checking it out before we recorded and I was like, all right. Yeah, I'm into this Ale Ale. Oh my goodness. no 40 except right there. That is hilarious. The thing is, is

Michelle: 48:33

that I really do cater for all sizes and all

Liz: 48:36

body types. Yes, I notice that. Yes. That is the funniest ath leisure. yes, But no, I noticed that like all bodies, all in the colors, it just looks like that creamy, buttery material. I definitely get to check that out and I'll make sure all of your, your content information is tagged in the show notes so everyone can find you easily. So, um, well Michelle, it's been an honor. Thank you so much for joining me in the, in between and sharing your story and your truth, and just, Hey, I'm ready for 2023. I tell you what, this was the confidence boost I didn't realize I needed. So, thank you so, so much.

Michelle: 49:11

No worries, and listen to it again. You know, if you're having a day that you don't feel great, listen to this again and get back on track. This is,

Liz: 49:19

this is your manifestation, framework. Your your, your how to guide for 2023. That's what I'm, you so.