In-Between: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome with Kristen

Please welcome special guest, Kristen, Host of the A Little Bit A Lot podcast to The In-Between this week! 

Kristen and I met where everyone does nowadays, the internet. We both have similar vibes in that we want to entertain, promote positivity, and help everyone feel not so alone in their struggles. 

In this week's episode, we're talking about:

• Imposter Syndrome - the meaning of imposter syndrome, imposter syndrome in the workplace, how it shows up in your life, and how to combat imposter syndrome
  • Reminder: Why self love is important 
• Why start a podcast? Is starting a podcast worth it? Is going after anything that scares you worth it?
• Childhood trauma - how the way you were treated or talked to shape the way you think and act as an adult 
• Pop culture corner - Nicki Minaj versus Megan Thee Stallion; what's going on with this beef? 

You can check out Kristen on Instagram @ALittleBitALotPodcast  and on Youtube @ALittleBitALotPodcast

Connect with me:
https://in-between.co
@in.betweenpod on Instagram
@elizabethcheney_ on Instagram
@theinbetweenpodcast on TikTok
The In-Between Podcast on YouTube

Transcript

Elizabeth: 0:06

hey, hey, hey, welcome back to an all new episode of the in between podcast. I'm your host, Elizabeth Cheney, and I have the lovely pleasure of introducing Kristen from the A Little Bit A Lot podcast on today's episode. Hello, Kristen. Welcome to the in between.

Kristen: 0:22

Hi, thanks for having me.

Elizabeth: 0:25

Absolutely. So before we get into today's episode, I just want to say like how we met and it was on the internet, which I guess is like everything nowadays. Um, but I just, I don't even know how, I think you found me or something like that. And I was like, Oh, she seems cool. A fellow podcaster, a fellow chick podcaster. Heck yeah. And then, you know, just supporting each other from different points of the world because you're in the Midwest, right? Like you're not West Coast. Yeah, Midwest. and I'm on the East coast, Michigander. I love it. Michigander. That's hilarious. I'm going to start referring to anybody I know from Michigan as a Michigander. And they're going to be like, who are you? And I'll be like. My friend Kristen told me I could say that.

Kristen: 1:07

Approved. Stamp. Approval.

Elizabeth: 1:09

uh, we are here to say that it is not creepy and it is cool to meet friends on the internet.

Kristen: 1:14

Yes.

Elizabeth: 1:15

Kristen, welcome to the pod. So tell everyone a little bit about yourself, a little bit, a little bit a lot about yourself. Oh, see what I did there?

Kristen: 1:25

podcast name has become kind of a pun type of moment. That is the intent behind it. Yes. Well, I am of course, Kristen haven't had my podcast for that long. I started it in August of 2023. So your girl is freshly into the podcasting game, but so far I am loving it, especially when it comes to meeting lovely friends like you, the podcasting community has just been so nice. So warm, so welcome. And it's completely opposite to, you know, like stan Twitter where everyone's kind of, you know, evil and depressing over there. Um, so I really love the change of pace for me, like being able to go into another space where everyone's always talking about mental health, wellness, relatability compared to, you know, drama. With other stuff like that has just been like a breath of fresh air. So if anything, I feel like podcasting has quite literally saved my life, saved my mental health, because with my pod, I just always want to talk about positivity, self acceptance, like I said, mental health and stuff like that. So yeah, that's really what my space of my corner of the internet is really all about. And I feel like we kind of match the same vibe in that way.

Elizabeth: 2:36

absolutely. I was literally going to say that. I was like, and that's why we become fast friends.

Kristen: 2:41

Yes.

Elizabeth: 2:42

And it's, it's so funny, like, our algorithms probably are very similar because like we, we consume the kind of content that we want to produce. Right. And Sometimes I'll get my, or I should probably ask this question, like, let me know if if you think this too, but sometimes I'll get in my head, okay, everyone's talking about self love. Everyone's talking about self care and mental health and loving ourselves. No one wants to listen to my podcast because like in my world, that's all I consume. And then it's like, you get someone who comes to you and like, wow, I didn't think about that. Thank you for letting me feel validated and make me feel seen and feeling not so alone. And it's just like. It's a constant reminder, like, why our podcasts and our content matter and why we should continue doing it, because we don't talk about this stuff enough as a society and as a group of just, I don't know, women, people, I almost said friends, like, we're all friends, all these strangers, we're just friends.

Kristen: 3:33

Right, I'm glad you mentioned that. Like, having, um, Oh my god, I just had a brain fart. No, I was gonna say, like, like you said, the impact. Constantly, you think, okay, bringing up self care, everyone else is talking about it, but at the end of the day, it's like, you can't have too much of a good thing, I feel like, when it comes to mental health. Like, adding to the conversation when the conversation already isn't that big. You can't go wrong with that and I think like being able to have like me only being in the podcasting game for so Such a short amount of time like when I did my plus size episode growing up plus size talking about the experience and that like the amount of messages that I got where people were like not enough people are talking about this subject and I'm like Oh, and I think also what makes us different specifically in our lane is that we kind of have like a light touch to it when it comes to the topics. There are some podcasts out there who are a little bit more serious about it, but I feel like me and you always try to kind of add like, you know, comedic aspects to it because that's just who we are. Like we're quirky, fun people, so we, we want a good vibe.

Elizabeth: 4:37

Weird? Quirky? But it's true. And I think that's also what makes it not just approachable from somebody on the outside, but it resonates because one, if you're doom and gloom, I'm going to get uncomfortable. It's like, I am all for being vulnerable, but like there is a way in which you deliver a vulnerable

Kristen: 4:57

Yeah, that's how I feel. I don't want it to be too dark.

Elizabeth: 5:00

too dark or too like dense, like methodical and detailed and like medical and more like talking. Like, no, I love reading about that kind of stuff, but I'm not good at listening to that kind of stuff. So like, I like the engaging, fun, entertainment, like entertaining approach to it because I do think like it does resonate. It does hit and it does make us, you know, likable. And it helps others feel seen, which that's. Just, you know, I want to say this. You said we, it's our light touch. It's also the light that we, you know, we're light workers.

Kristen: 5:32

Yes.

Elizabeth: 5:33

we bring. So, um, okay, well I also wanted to say, she may say she's been podcasting since August, which it is the truth. She's not lying, but she's been crushing it. So don't let her novice like, Oh, I'm quaint. I'm cute. No, she's crushing it. So, um, I'm just glad I could book her.

Kristen: 5:56

you're taking me out right now. Oh my gosh. Thank you.

Elizabeth: 6:02

It's the truth though. And what's funny is we're going to talk about imposter syndrome today which was a topic that you brought up and it's like, girl, you're crushing it right now. And what's interesting is most often when we feel imposter syndrome or we feel like we are, the news is out. Everyone knows I'm like, I'm, I'm a fake or I really shouldn't be here. Like I'm just faking it till I make it. Most often, no one thinks that it's all in our head, right? Like we're, we're crushing it. Like what I see is different than maybe what you're seeing. Cause you're thinking you're looking ahead, you're looking at all the other things that you want to do and accomplish and check marks. You want to check off and mark off and cross off. But that's where it's good to have friends, especially friends in like a shared space like podcasting, content creation, whatever the heck. Maybe you want to be a chef. You want to cook. I don't know. Finding people in that same community to help remind you like, hey, you are killing it. Boom, bap, boom. So, yeah. Anyways.

Kristen: 7:01

that's why I'm so thankful for, the podcasting community and, like, friends like you that I've gained, because I can be so hard on myself in that way, and it's like, theoretically, I know that I'm crushing it, because the consistency is there, I physically see that I'm posting every day, but I'm really hard on myself, so when I have, like, moments like that, where you're just like, girl, you're doing good, slay, and I'm like, wait, thanks. That's it.

Elizabeth: 7:24

I was looking at your link tree earlier and I was like, God dang, I need to get my life together. Woo. I had imposter syndrome earlier, which then I then thought was so ironic because that's what we're going to be talking about. So yeah. imposter syndrome, you can compare yourself to other people that fuels imposter syndrome. Um, productivity guilt, which is something we talked about on your podcast that's something that, that feeds imposter syndrome. The flip side of it is like everyone's faking it until they make it. But like, we can't quite grasp that. So we just feel like an imposter in whatever we're doing because we don't feel like we deserve to be in that space, whatever that space is. So that's where my favorite, my favorite term, um, self love comes into play because Self love, like it gives you that grace and that, that beat to like appreciate yourself and to try to combat that inner narrative. So I want to talk about content creation, podcasting and where does imposter syndrome show up in your life?

Kristen: 8:26

Man, I mean, imposter syndrome just showed up like with doing the podcast period. I just felt like I didn't deserve to have a little corner of the internet because I'm like, what do I have to offer? cause like we mentioned before, like there are so many people who are in this space, what more can I add to it? But then once I started getting the feedback and I got into it, I realized that it's like, no, like I do add a little bit of a different touch to it. You know, recent. Review that I got on Apple, with the interview that I had with the author Allie where we talked about borderline personality disorder was just like This topic is a deep topic, but the way that Kristen hosted it made it that way, so I didn't want to turn it off, you know, like she kept it light, she kept it fun, and that was like, it really feels good when I get that feedback where I'm like, that was the point, that was the intention that I wanted to make.

Elizabeth: 9:19

There's no one like you on the internet. That's what you have to

Kristen: 9:22

Exactly. I think that's what's gotten me, you know, through it so far when it comes to my like imposter syndrome when it comes to content creation is that I realized the power of the unique perspective that I can bring to stuff. And that's what's really been like the most fulfilling part about this. I just think in general, like when it comes to creating content period, I've always been a creative girly, but I just never realized that like this type of lane was something that I was going to enjoy. so much. Like the way that I feel literal dread doing what I went to school for, is crazy. But like the second I'm working on a pod stuff, I'm like, don't even think about it. Doesn't actually feel like work, which let's be real. Podcasting is work.

Elizabeth: 10:02

So much work. It's so much

Kristen: 10:04

Yes. But it's like, I really enjoy it.

Elizabeth: 10:07

it's so, it's so, um, it's very rewarding, you know, because you are passionate about it. Like if you aren't passionate about it, you're not going to succeed at it because it is, it is a lot of work, a lot of consistency to get to any kind of place of like, about like monetary value, which I'm not even there yet. Right. Um, it is kind of like the faking it till you make it. Like you just keep doing it until like finally you're, you're not. Telling yourself, well, I don't deserve to be here. No, you do deserve to be here. But then what's really great is once you've like, at least for me, it's like I've, I've, I've combated and managed one, imposter syndrome. Then something else comes in and it's like a new thing to be imposter syndrome, Dover. Which, yeah, I just made that a verb. I did. I don't think it's a verb, but whatever. so I know I will get immobilized sometimes for my imposter syndrome. I will overthink things till I no longer even have. A passion or creative direction on like, like a good Tik Tok video, like, Oh, I'm going to do this. And then like, I really think it's so much. And then boom, I don't even post anything. So imposter syndrome does hold you back. So if you are dealing with imposter syndrome, how do you combat that?

Kristen: 11:16

I think my thing was just like, just doing it. I feel like that's like such a mediocre answer, but like, that's literally the only way that I get through it. Like, to combat it, I just have to do it. And I think it got to the point where, when I was talking to my boyfriend about it, I often find myself like, overthinking every little TikTok. Every little reel even when it comes down to like finding like which clips you want to use for promo and stuff I'm like, I don't know I second guess it but my boyfriend always tells me like all content is good content So I don't really think that you're gonna go wrong here So that's what I always try to just like remind myself of it's like just put it just put it out there Like the longer that I second guess it The more, like you said, it's just not going to happen. So it's like, I think that I've always been that way because we have, you know, you've said before, like, you're kind of a go hard or go home type of girly. And I'm that same way where it's like, I referenced that all the way dating back to when I taught myself how to swim, I'm going to always and forever tell this story, but it's like, didn't have lessons. Um, it was just a summer where my dad had a swimming pool, like right after my parents divorce. And we were just over there chilling and I'm like, I want to swim. I just got in and just did it and I'm like, well, it looks like people kind of just do it like this, right? And it was the same way. And then my mom said it was the same way when I like taught myself what potty training. Um, I did the same thing when I learned how to ride a bike. My dad was busy. He looked up and he's like, is that Kristen riding down the street? Cause he was taking too long. And I'm like. Get let's get to it, sweetie. I said, I want to learn. So you're over there like working in your workshop. My dad's like such a guy dad, like, you know what I'm saying? He was always just busy crafting and building something and I'm like, I just want to learn how to ride a bike. So I just got on and I'm like, I think you kind of just move your legs like this and just did it. So it's like that's just always how I've been. So it's the same way that I applied to content creation. If I don't just dive in headfirst without like head empty, it's not going to happen.

Elizabeth: 13:15

Ooh, I like that. Dive in head first, head empty. So what do you mean by that? do you mean like going in just no reservations, just screw it. I'm going in, going in, babe.

Kristen: 13:26

head literally empty when I tell you I have no thoughts and I just do it, just post

Elizabeth: 13:32

Hmm.

Kristen: 13:33

and then move on. Like, it's the only way that I can survive, honestly, which I know some people might feel like full throttle type of mentality is like not the best. And I know sometimes, you know, that can be like a negative thing, but I just feel like since I've always been this way, like, I've just found a balance. So.

Elizabeth: 13:53

that's really impressive. I, I will, I get stuck. I get immobilized. No, I'm serious. Like and I'm not trying to take away that you don't have imposter syndrome and things like that, but that is like a very, Great, great thing to, to excel at or to really embody. I'm not going to say excel because I'm sure there's times when you don't just lean in completely, but, um, that you're able to shut out the noise. So I have a question for you on this whole topic. We're talking about podcasting and it being a passion. So I'm sure that kind of helps. Do imposter syndrome showing up anywhere else in your life?

Kristen: 14:28

it's, it's with work. It's literally with work because I've been dealing with this, especially within this last week or so, um, because with my job, uh, I have to get CEUs, which if people listening don't know, there's like continuing education credits. So in order for me to keep my certification, I have to get like up to 40. Every other year or something like that, and I submit it. So in order to earn those, I can do like magazines, do a little quiz and then submit those. And then I get like a credit. Um, but a lot of times the way I'm able to just knock them out is by doing webinars because with the webinars, they'll be all day long. And then you get like 12. So with that, I have been feeling. The imposter syndrome very heavy this week because with my career, it's something that I kind of just did basically for money, which I know is not always the best thing, but the reality is not everyone's going to work in the field that they love. Sometimes you got to just do what you got to do to survive. My mom told me, Hey, I think you should go to school for, um, you know, something in the health field. My entire family comes from a line of nurses. My great grandmother was a nurse. My grandmother's a nurse and my mom is a CNA. Coincidentally, my boyfriend's also a CNA now. So, also my cousin is a nurse too. So pretty much I come from a nurse slash CNA heavy household. And I felt the pressure when it came to graduating school. So when I came to college, I'm like, what am I gonna do? I don't have it in me to be a nurse. Don't want to touch people don't want to be around people. What do I do? And then that's how I was able to come up with like medical coding because I'm able to kind of just, you know, code what the doctors and the nurses are doing billets of insurance. And that way I don't have to actually see anybody. So that's what I have to get the continuing education credits for. So even though I don't like love my job, it's, you know, basically reading all day. You got to get the credit. So when we do the webinars. It was from like 10 a. m. until 6 p. m.

Elizabeth: 16:26

Oh, miserable.

Kristen: 16:27

oh my God. And it was so long. And a lot of times, like the girls, they'll be like, Oh, do you have any questions? And everyone's just like firing off in the, in the chat. Oh, what about this? When we code this, uh, what about this? When we do this? And I'm like, Um, like, should I be asking these questions? Maybe I should be asking more. Maybe I should care more. Maybe I should, you know, want to dive in more. And I always find myself like comparing myself to others when it comes to these webinars because it's like half the time. I don't know what's going on. They send us these books in the mail. They're literally a thousand pages long and then we're supposed to like go through the books as they're going through the webinar and I. have no clue. It's like I kind of know how to do the bare minimum of my job and then everything else when it gets a little bit too intricate, I'm like, Ooh, don't know how to do that. So I literally always feel imposter syndrome when it comes to my actual nine to five. A matter of fact, I also felt so much imposter syndrome because I'm like, maybe I'm actually not meant to be in my job because I technically. Uh, failed the test the first time I took it to get certified because I was so freaking nervous that my stomach was upset.

Elizabeth: 17:40

It sounds like so much information

Kristen: 17:42

Yes, like my stomach got upset because I was nervous. So then half the time I wasn't even in the testing room. And then once

Elizabeth: 17:49

Bless your heart.

Kristen: 17:51

We come back and she's like, Time's up. I still had 20 questions left, Elizabeth. So in the end, I wasn't even able to finish the test. Of course, I didn't pass. So then I'm like, Maybe I'm not, it's not meant to be, which I took it the second time, passed. But I think that alone made me feel like for the rest of my career that Maybe I'm not where I'm supposed to be but my co workers always give me the encouragement to be like girl You're doing fine. And I think that just that's just how I've always kind of been where it's like, yeah, I dive in right? but then along the way I'm kind of just like Was this a good idea? Should I just dove in?

Elizabeth: 18:27

I'm like floating with you. I'm like, ah,

Kristen: 18:30

Yeah, so that's literally what I've been dealing with this week. It's like every time we do the webinars and I see how much more people know in my field and like what good coders they are. I can't help but compare.

Elizabeth: 18:44

feel like there's a couple of things at play here. One, there's like the pressure of your family. Like you feel like you kind of got put into a career path that maybe you weren't a hundred percent in on, or maybe you weren't sure, but you felt pressure anyway. Then I'm just going to go out and say. I don't know who would do well with a, what, six, seven, eight, eight hour webinar to go over a thousand page book.

Kristen: 19:10

It's so bad. And then they

Elizabeth: 19:11

That just

Kristen: 19:11

breaks like every two hours. We get a break every two hours, 45 minute lunch. And it's like, this could have been just a PowerPoint. Like, she's literally reading us what we can already have read in the book, so I don't really understand. I hate meetings like that.

Elizabeth: 19:25

Yeah. I was going to say with that imposter syndrome, you could think of a couple of things. But one that came to my mind was if it's related to your job, and especially in your sense where you're like, I just had never felt connected to this. So that makes it worse. Like, I don't feel like, and, and yes, not everyone's going to have a dream job or a passion job, but I also think that everyone should be happy in what they're doing. And you know, I feel like if you kind of introspect a little bit and think about like, well, what don't I like about this? Well, what would bring me joy? Right. And go from there. So how the in between was born was from me asking the question, how do I create my dream job? And at the time it wasn't quite a podcast, but it was like I wanted to answer the question, how do I get from A to B, whatever A to B is. And in this moment it was money. How do I make more money? then that, to the inbetween podcast cause I'm like, well I like talking, I want to be like my dream job is to be a TV show host, So then it just evolved from that. So who knows, maybe a little bit a lot is your dream job. Maybe being a content girlie and being like that one stop shop, like a person on the interwebs, if you will, that people go to to feel good, to be entertained, to giggle, to talk about current shit like Pop culture, whatever, but also get that dose of love and self respect. That might be your dream job. So Imposter syndrome is like anxiety. It's ADHD, but it can also be a thing that moves the lover. Like if you've like, cause stick to me, like the examples you gave, like the imposter syndrome with the podcast is different. And I could be wrong, but in my opinion, I feel like that is a different type of imposter syndrome than what you're describing. But like the medical coding thing is like, that has so much more nuance And not that there's not nuance to the other one, but it's, it's different, right? So it's giving yourself grace and then thinking about where is this coming from? Like why? not just where, but like what's sourcing it, what's fueling it. Like it's coming from me, sure, but like why? And then kind of going and exploring it from that. Um,

Kristen: 21:30

do want this to Be my full time job. I think that, you know, anyone who goes into this, like once you find out that you do like it, it's up from there and you're just like, yeah, I want to do this for a living. So I think that's why I've been so consistent with it because it's like, it is true. Like my job, it keeps me content. And the fact that like. It's a well paying job, obviously, because in, the health field and at the end of the day, it's like, my boyfriend's always like, but you don't have that much to complain about, like, you literally are able to be at home all day, I don't have to be on the phone, don't have to interact with patients, like, there's so many different ways that since I went into this field that I've been able to kind of just like, you know, Really truly have like a relaxed schedule. I can leave anytime I need to leave stuff like that But at the day, it's like no matter what advantages the career comes with if you're just not fully in it It's never gonna feel like I'm fully happy

Elizabeth: 22:25

No. And then that also fuels imposter syndrome that you're not doing enough. You're not making the most of your life. You're behind. Like there's just like so many negative intrusive thoughts that come from that. So how we get through that is we love ourselves. We give ourselves grace and we just say, there's no need for, there's no need for you imposter syndrome. And then remind yourself that everybody is faking it until they make it like that. I am certain, like I'm allegedly a grownup. On paper, I am over the age of 18.

Kristen: 22:55

I feel the same

Elizabeth: 22:57

But I still feel very much like a child. And I feel very much like I'm just waiting for my mother to come in and reprimand me for something. You know,

Kristen: 23:04

Yeah.

Elizabeth: 23:05

right? And it's just, We have imposter syndrome over, like, the silliest shit. But, like, I don't know if it's just a millennial thing. I don't know if it's It's social media. I'm sure it's all of that. It all feeds into it because like we're comparing ourselves and like, I mean, I'm trying to think of like, when did I first feel imposter syndrome? And it's like probably when I graduated college and I was comparing myself to every single person out there and not thinking about where they came from or what privileges or not privileges they would have had. And I'm just like, but I'm not there and I'm not good enough. And it's like, there's so many more layers to that. So I feel like one, another way to like come back to imposter syndrome is just continually reminding yourself everyone is faking it till they make it. Like, I am sure, like how many people are on your webinars normally, like your work webinars?

Kristen: 23:52

Man, there's like over a hundred people in there.

Elizabeth: 23:55

Guaranteed like half of them are just sitting there going, what the fuck

Kristen: 24:00

No, yeah, because I thought the same thing too, because I had my one coworker, like before I got to really know her, I just thought that she was just like so intimidating. And then once we got to really know each other, I'm just like, Oh no, like she's an anxious girly too. And then once I really got to know, I'm like, Oh, she also doesn't really know much of what's going on either. So

Elizabeth: 24:19

made you feel better.

Kristen: 24:20

It did it really did because it's like both of us are kind of just like well I don't know and then we kind of like refer to my other co workers She's almost like our mom and we're like, we just gotta wait for her to answer because we don't know It's like half the people in our team are like coming to us for answers and it's like dude I know I've been doing this since 2020, but I still don't know what's going on. Like don't come to me I don't want to be responsible for saying yes or no or helping you with anything

Elizabeth: 24:48

Well, I'll be fair. The healthcare industry is like hella crazy. I work in healthcare as well. I work in marketing and communications and

Kristen: 24:56

too. Our marketing team is always going through the gags. Like, geez louise.

Elizabeth: 25:02

If I was to stay in this career my whole life, I still don't think I'd learn everything because there's like, I mean, it's like honestly even state by state differences. It's wild. It is.

Kristen: 25:10

It is when it comes to health, you never realize how many differences there are state by state. Like, especially even when it comes to like insurance, my insurance, we go. Yeah.

Elizabeth: 25:28

I'm sure. It would be, it would be very spicy. So, mm hmm. So, speaking of imposter syndrome, sometimes that can also lead to like burnout. And I mean, not just imposter syndrome leads to that, but like any, lots of things can lead to burnout. So with you also having a podcast and working nine to five like myself, I always like to ask, or I'm curious to know, how do you juggle it all? How do you juggle the nine to five and the five to nine? How do you juggle so you don't get burnout? Or if you do find yourself getting burnout, how do you like reset?

Kristen: 26:03

Man, I was like, it's funny that you, you know, talk about this because I recently realized that I was kind of dealing with burnout a little bit with the pod, and I think that's why I allowed myself to take a break. I just actually, after this week, came back for season two.

Elizabeth: 26:16

yeah,

Kristen: 26:17

And yeah, right, so I just got back from my break, and I was like really contemplating that too, like I have, I had a lot of anxiety because a lot of the gurus are always telling you like, be consistent, post multiple times a day, and it fills me with so much anxiety because Everyone's telling you that you should be doing this, that, and the other, and then if you don't, then you're going to lose opportunities, you're going to lose followers, what if people lose interest in me? And I think that's what made me so nervous about it, but I was feeling a little bit of burnout too, because at the day, like, when you're that consistent, it does take a lot out of you mentally, because you're constantly thinking. Even though, like I said, I love doing the pod. Either way, your brain is being used and your brain gets tired. So I was a little bit tired and that's why I decided to take the break that I took. And I was really hesitant about the length of the break and I ended up being gone for about three weeks, which I know like Typically people aren't really gone for that long for pods But I was like skip it. I gotta do what I gotta do because I'm getting tired of posting every day I just even thinking about like ideas every week. It's like it is a

Elizabeth: 27:27

as a solo podcaster, especially.

Kristen: 27:29

Yeah, and that's one thing that I always think about like, I'm like, oh man, you know, having a co host would be nice, but at the same time, like there's so much freedom and liberation with it being a solo at the same time. So I think one thing that just helped me with preventing the burnout was allowing myself to take that break, regardless of what people are saying in the end, it was fine. I still had listeners while I was gone, was still gaining followers. And I'm like, Oh, okay, well. I guess it's fine. So it's like, I'm still navigating that to this day, Elizabeth, but we're trying.

Elizabeth: 28:02

The whole time you're saying this. I just kept thinking like, wow, are you in my head? Cause I think about that all the time and you post way more consistently than I do. I mean, I'm still, I'm, I'm finally getting back on my horse, so to speak since losing Luna. But the consistency it is, it's so hard. And it's. I have started to give myself more breaks when I need it because like, I'm like, okay, I'm going to burn myself out, trying to do the job, my regular job, and then doing this. And then I'm trying to build this website and do these things for the person I hired. And okay, what's more important, me putting out another episode stretch too thin. Or taking the beat, taking the break and then also working on the website, which longterm goals that's going to help push it, you know, grow it, everything like that. So it's important to recognize that, but it doesn't mean it takes it away because I think about that all the time, like, Oh, my relevant, like if my story is not live. And so I kind of freed myself from that mentality or that mindset last year, but I've kind of. I've taken, I've kind of gotten back into it because I do want to grow that this year's my, my big focus is growth and you do need to be like consistent and have your story live and all this. So I just want you to know, like, this is going to be a work in progress for myself as well. So I may have to come like ask you for some help, be like, Kristen, I'm overwhelmed. How do I, how do I take a beat?

Kristen: 29:19

Yeah, yeah, like taking a beat for yourself is like not wrong and I think that because I have that perfectionism In me that I felt like it was not okay to do that. But you know after thinking about it for a while I'm, just like It's okay. And like you said, I would rather have my audience be able to see me at 100 And see that I'm actually engaged and like, in it to win it, rather than like feeling burnt out. And I think as far as like juggling like the whole 9 to 5 situation, I think I just had to allow myself to really just focus on work, because at the end of the day, like, that's gonna be our priority, that's what's paying the bills. So, work is work. And then during my lunch break that's when I take a little bit time to focus on the pod But I also got to the point where I was like, hey, maybe every lunch break shouldn't be filled with pod stuff So now i'm kind of getting to the point where i'm just like still trying to find a balance of it So maybe a couple of times a week i'll take my lunch hour To work on the pod stuff. And then the other few days a week, then I just like chill out, take a work nap. Love that during my, my one size, the perks of working from home, take a nap during your lunch or go get a bite to eat. Sometimes I go in the living room, play my switch for a while during that break.

Elizabeth: 30:33

Oh, I love

Kristen: 30:33

I can be able to, yes, have that balance. And like I mentioned on my show, getting into reading that has helped me with the balance of it all too.

Elizabeth: 30:42

So making time for those things that you, your interests and hobbies that you enjoy that are also separate from the pod. Cause like you can, we can say the podcasting is a hobby, you know, it is like our goal, like our career goals and what we want to do. But like, I want to keep a professional mindset with it because it's easy to get burned out with it. Also, side note, people who just podcast for fun, I'm like, you just enjoy doing like a full time job for like, I mean, that's good for you, but like, yeah, it's definitely a labor of love for sure.

Kristen: 31:17

is. I think that that's a good point. Like, it is technically our hobby now, but we want it to be more. So I think if we start treating it the way that it needs to be treated, where it's kind of basically job number two, we got to keep things separate. So it's like, it's kind of the hobby ish slash job, but the real hobbies, they need their own time too.

Elizabeth: 31:38

because that's when you like take a beat. You reset. Like your brain takes a like a, a break even if you're reading, you know, ACOTAR, some fantasy romance novels. I was like, for you all listening, I was trying to sell Crystal ACOTAR on her podcast earlier. I was like, you're fantasy girly. You need to read ACOTAR. Ma'am,

Kristen: 31:56

wait. Yes.

Elizabeth: 31:58

I've gotten so many people to read that serious, I'm telling you. But yes, point being. It's important to keep your hobbies, interests, things like that separate because you need, you need that brain break. You need that space. So that, that is a good reminder. Um, yeah, no, I, I, I still struggle. So I mean, I still struggle. I always struggle with imposter syndrome, but it has gotten easier because we were talking earlier about like the, the, the chicks that I podcast swapped with over the weekend. That's a podcast you want to collaborate with. And I was like, oh my god, they're so great. You just gotta reach out to them. You just lean in and reach out to them. So see, it's easier when I tell you things you're imposter syndrome ed over. Ew, I just did it a verb again. And it's easier when you tell me things that I'm imposter syndrome ed over. That's just how the world works. It's easier when I get it from somebody else. And it's easier when I'm telling somebody else the advice.

Kristen: 32:45

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's for sure. But like to your point, when it comes to the podcasting world, like that imposter syndrome is going to kick in a little bit because when it comes to those big creators, you're just like, Ooh, but I just always have to remind myself that like everybody started from somewhere. This is my starter from somewhere. So I just got to lean into that.

Elizabeth: 33:04

And there's a space for all of us, cause like we already said, like we bring it in, like we each have an individual value that we bring to our podcasts, to our content, to the internet. So there is room for you, me, and 50, 000 others. I truly believe it because here's the other thing, this shit's not easy. So people are going to give up.

Kristen: 33:22

Right?

Elizabeth: 33:22

there's that.

Kristen: 33:25

No, literally, because when I first started, I was like in this like little podcasting, like group chat. It's like literally none of the people in there are even still doing their show. I'm literally the only one here, like what, five, six months, like still pushing through. And I'm like, man, Yeah.

Elizabeth: 33:44

I was going to ask are you finding the more you do your pod and the consistency with it? Like, do you find that it's helping the imposter syndrome a little bit or is it like I said earlier, like it's manifesting in different ways? Like, okay, cool. I've overcome this one, but now it's a new one. It's a new, it's like levels to it.

Kristen: 34:01

No, it's definitely helping because I feel like before I started the pod, I was like so scared of being perceived and especially when it came to like people I knew, like something felt so embarrassing about like people that grew up with me seeing the type of person that I am now and hearing like my innermost thoughts about like my anxiety journey growing up plus size. You know, different things like that. And I'm just like, Oh my God. And I'm just always so convinced that somebody is going to use that against me. When in reality, like it's not that deep and I've been seeing like different tech talks that have really been helping me when it comes to the imposter syndrome of it all, when it comes to being perceived, where they always remind me that like social media is not for your friends, it's for the people that are out there who aren't meant to be a part of your audience. So, it just got to the point where I don't even like share it on my personal page anymore or anything like that as much because it's just like, nobody from my hometown needs to see this, so.

Elizabeth: 35:01

And don't need to feed your imposter syndrome with it. Right.

Kristen: 35:05

Exactly. But yeah, that was one big thing that I was just like, so scared of being seen. And I think that, you know, not to get too deep, but I think that comes from my childhood trauma because a lot of times, like, you know, growing up my grandma, if you listen to my podcast, you'll learn that like, you know, she's not always been the nicest or the gentlest when it comes. to, uh, encouragement and things like that. And she would always just like, anytime I'm frustrated or upset or kind of just really having like any human emotion, she would just be like, well, you're too young. You don't know nothing. You don't know anything about being, you know, annoyed. Why are you always saying you're upset about something, you know, waiting until you get into the real world. And when you're constantly hearing that as a child, that invalidates your feelings. So then when you grow up and you have those feelings, then you feel like I'm not allowed to take up space. And then that can transfer to taking up space on the internet, because then she's always telling me like, Oh, you're just young. You don't know nothing. So then I'm convinced that I don't know anything. So then what do I have to offer?

Elizabeth: 36:06

Right. And also not just that, like not what I don't have to offer, but you don't trust yourself in a way. Like you don't trust like how you

Kristen: 36:12

issue. Yes. Like trusting myself has been such an issue for me. Like. To this day, I feel like I still have to always Like go with my gut when it comes to things and I always find myself like asking my sister like oh Do you think I should do this? Do you think I should do that? And it got to the point where she was annoyed like girl. I don't know. It's your decision. It's your life And I've had to definitely work on that in therapy for sure my therapist about like trusting yourself. And it got to the point where even I made a podcast episode about it, how to trust yourself, how to trust your instinct and leaning into that, because that was just something that I was taught like not to do because I'm like, Oh, I guess I know nothing. I haven't experienced life enough, but it's like, no, I've actually been through some hard things, you know, including someone telling me those things and that's trauma. I've gotten past that. So it's like, I deserve to take up that space.

Elizabeth: 37:08

1000 percent and not just somebody who told you those things, but somebody of significant value. Like if you think about societal relationships and things like that, like a grandmother, grandfather, father, mother, like those roles, like. Society speaking, like they hold weight. They hold value. So why would you question that? Like, why would you question your, so of course it's feeding that mindset and well, I guess this is how I am. This is who I am. So, and I guarantee that also feeds your imposter syndrome because like imposter syndrome is self doubt. Like it is a complete lack in faith that you can accomplish whatever it is that you're trying to do. So. Thank you for sharing that vulnerability on the in between. yeah, that childhood trauma, that'll do it to you. I was just thinking

Kristen: 37:50

That'll do it.

Elizabeth: 37:51

my grandma wasn't that mean, but looking back on my childhood and thinking about certain things, like how I, cause like, My whole thing has been like, alright, I know I've been an anxious Nelly my whole life. So I've been trying to like, replay, like, growing up, what were signs, what were things? And I remember being told I was hyper a lot. And then I was like, and I'm like, oh, so that was anxiety, that's ADHD. Then also my Nana would tell me things like, you're gonna get kidnapped if you leave me at the store. So my Nana

Kristen: 38:21

Elizabeth, my mom was the same way. The way that she put paralyzing fear into me that I was going to be named Samantha tomorrow if I didn't stay close to her at every single

Elizabeth: 38:31

I sheltered myself. Like, literally. Yeah. Like, I went to college and it was a culture shock. I was like, whoa.

Kristen: 38:37

No, same. I was literally convinced that any time I was in that school parking lot, someone was going to murder

Elizabeth: 38:42

Yes. Yes. Any, like, con like, walking by myself, constantly looking behind my shoulder like a psycho.

Kristen: 38:48

let me take a night class. I'm like,

Elizabeth: 38:51

Hell no. No.

Kristen: 38:53

My night classes gave me the most anxiety. Everyone in the building is gone. So who's gonna see if I get kidnapped?

Elizabeth: 38:59

You're like, just walking to class with like a rape whistle, like, doo doo doo, doo doo doo.

Kristen: 39:03

seriously, like it, it was bad. Yeah. Uh,

Elizabeth: 39:07

well, and all of that, like, affects us, like, it feeds self doubt, it feeds fear, it feeds paranoia, it feeds distrust, it just feeds this whole, like, idea that, like, it is you against everyone. Everybody and the world and everyone's out to get you. So it no, no, not surprising that it manifested in all the different ways that it has as you've gotten older, but it's also super beautiful and amazing that you are working on in therapy. Also, so I know I fucking love therapy. I just love therapy.

Kristen: 39:37

I was so scared of it because my very first therapist, um, after my parents got a divorce, my mom was like, Hey, maybe you guys should talk to somebody. And she put us in the same with the same therapist. So me and my sister both had the same one. Um, that wasn't a good idea, but you know, Hey, at least the effort was there. And my first therapist would fall asleep on me. So I didn't have the best relationship with therapy at first. Yeah.

Elizabeth: 40:02

like bad version of therapy. Like you see in

Kristen: 40:04

right like she was this older lady and it was just I'm like over there sleeping or her eyes is really low And then my second therapist she because I have like this high Energy type of personality. It's hard to see that like I may be struggling because a lot of times, like, I deal with my trauma by kind of laughing about it. I have that very, like, dark humor type of energy. So you may not see that I'm struggling because I seem like I'm fine, but that's just because I have high functioning anxiety. So she never really cared to, like, look beyond that. And to her, since I wasn't, like, opening up enough, she was just like, well, I don't really think you need therapy. And I'm like Girl, I'm actually unwell, but you just can't tell so it was rocky at first But once you know, I had enough and that was enough. I found the right one for me, but It took time man

Elizabeth: 40:55

It does. And I want to say thank you for sharing that story because I know a lot of people who have had similar experiences where like the first therapist just wasn't good. And if you already have like any kind of Reservations against therapy and you have that experience. Oh, hell yeah. It's going to put a super sour taste in your mouth, so I'm glad that you kept up with it one and not just once, but twice. Third time's a charm, right? Um, so there's that, but I hate that that happens, but sometimes you do have to find the right therapist. So, and I commend you for not being okay, but having enough self awareness to be like, wait, okay. I know you're the professional, but like, I'm, I'm not okay. Like, I know I'm not okay. Maybe this is just us and I need to find somebody else. You know what I mean? So that, that's a, that's really commendable and like, that's really impressive. So, it's like we're aware of our problems, but we still got them.

Kristen: 41:47

Right! Oh my god, being self aware is like, people don't talk about how like, it can be a little bit debilitating at the

Elizabeth: 41:53

Um, I literally was telling my husband that the other day. I was like, God, it is a blessing and a curse to be as self aware as I am. Like, it's a double edged sword.

Kristen: 42:02

seriously, it is, but we're trying. Oh

Elizabeth: 42:09

Minaj.

Kristen: 42:11

my god, it's been taking me out. It's been a rough week. I mean, I literally have gone to my podcast and seen that I have had entire Pink Friday 2 album review. I have been a Barb since first mixtape era. Um, since she first got signed to, yeah, Young Money. Back when she was wearing the bangs. So,

Elizabeth: 42:30

bangs,

Kristen: 42:31

it's hard. It's been hard out here.

Elizabeth: 42:35

For those listening who are like, how did we just transition from, like anxiety and mental health to Nicki Minaj? Well, first off, uh, love pop culture, so does Kristen, and I know Kristen was a Nicki Minaj fan. And for anyone who maybe hasn't looked at any social media today or the weekend, uh, Megan Thee Stallion, made a track last week and basically one little line Nicki Minaj assumed was about her, which maybe it could be, but maybe it's not. Cause honestly what I thought about Kristen with it was like, well, her name's Megan. Maybe she's just saying Megan's law cause she's Megan. But you need to go Google the T to see the full T, but long story long, Megan Thee Stallion. Came out with a song, there was a line that may or may not have been about Ms. Minaj, and Ms. Minaj then proceeded to spend the entire weekend tweetin the hell out of it, like in a crazy way, and then came out with a quote unquote diss track, which mind you, she just dropped a new album not even that long ago, and the diss track is literally written by a four year old. So, it's bad.

Kristen: 43:41

You know, yeah, it's, it's been really rough. And I think that a lot of times on TikTok, people have been saying like, there's a difference between like a real barb and a delusional barb. And it's like, I refuse to be a delusional barb. Like when it comes to pop culture, I am a stand girl down. Like I just love being a fan of someone. And when I'm a fan of you, like I'm going to go hard, listen to all your stuff, support you all the way through. I love going to concerts. Like. That's my thing. Instead of going out to the club, going to parties and stuff, since I'm basically an introvert, my way of communicating with the world is by going to a concert so we can have a unified experience and being around people that I know for a fact like what I like. So, I take it very seriously and it's been very difficult because it's like you want to be able to Support the artists that you love, while also being able to hold them accountable. So I feel like I always try to look at it from a realistic lens. Like, my problem with the whole Nicki Minaj situation is the fact that I understand Megan said what she said, um, but technically, I truly think that the real issue here is the fact that Nicki Minaj is kind of just more upset about like, A bigger issue, which is that she may or may not be upset about the fact that Megan has three Grammy's and she doesn't. I think that's the true tea here. I think that's

Elizabeth: 45:02

She seems like a mean girl, a little bit. Like the way she's acting is mean.

Kristen: 45:06

Yeah, and I think it's just displaced anger a lot of times that I've really tried to like sit down and really think about it And be like a rational Barb and I truly think that her issue is the fact that she thinks that it may be Seeming like it's unfair that so many other people are getting opportunities And she doesn't feel like she's getting the same opportunities 2 she just now got her first First Vogue cover, but it's like, how is it that Nicki Minaj has been in the game for so long and she's just now being on the cover of Vogue? we also had another issue where she had her beef with Travis Scott. The beef with Travis Scott wasn't even really about Travis Scott, it was the fact that I think he was allegedly getting, merch. It was counting towards album sales and she was like, Hey, mergers, merch album sales or album sales. How does that count? So I think the problem is that whoever she beefs with she's really kind of just upset about the rules that are in place But then when she does it it's a problem and then in the end it just ends up being like the face of the issue They're like the beef when in reality It's like her issue is with the gatekeepers of the music industry not really Lotto or Megan Thee Stallion or Travis Scott. She has a problem with the things the way things are set up because like they also recently did this thing where like they were doing um I think Lil Nas X did it too and Cardi B where they're like, hey if you send a screenshot of Your proof that you pre ordered the thing then you can get like money on cash up or something like that So then when Nikki tried to do it billboard was like hey, that doesn't count and now it's like Oh, she seems like she's upset at Cardi B. Oh, she seems like she's upset at Lil Nas. Oh, she seems like she's upset at Lotto. But she's just using these people as an example to be like, oh, you let this, this, and this person do it, but I can't do it? You gave, like, Megan Thee Stallion a Grammy, but I can't get a Grammy? I think that's really where the anger lies.

Elizabeth: 47:02

That's a really fair assessment actually. So rather than she's going to all the individuals, like the artists, which are her peers in a sense, it's like, why don't you take the battle to where it needs to go? And not that I'm a Swifty, but isn't that what she did with the whole streaming industry? Like didn't Taylor Swift kind of go up against like the streaming for some of like the I don't remember all the details about it, but I think it was Apple Music. Like she did something where, and I think it was to give like musicians a piece of the pie or something like that. So it's like, rather than just bitching at your peers, like, why don't you try and like actually, but maybe she's not self aware. Maybe that's

Kristen: 47:37

Right, and I think that's the problem here. It's like, a lot of the times when Nikki goes on these rants, I can kind of see that there's always a little bit of truth into what she's saying, but then it's like her delivery gets thrown off. We start getting personal and then it's like that's when it goes into kind of like a mentally unwell standpoint where it's like, okay, I understand you're upset about the Megan thing, but do we necessarily need to, be on live for three days straight? Do we necessarily need to like over 150 tweets shading Megan? That's where it's like, okay, I'm kind of concerned about your mental health now, you know, like to Onika Tanya Mirage, the person, not Nicki Minaj, but the person. And that's why I said on my Instagram story, like, has she eaten? Is she well? You know, has she's been able to spend time with her child? She's been on live, on and off, on and off all weekend. That is too much time spent where she could just be, you know, pulling a Beyonce and just being like, you know what, I'm above it. But to her point. Oh, I wasn't raised like Beyonce. I didn't have the same type of resources. So I'm gonna try to defend myself, but it's like, It's always a catch 22. It's like, I get what she's trying to say, but sometimes the delivery is just, It gets crazy and she gets lost in the sauce.

Elizabeth: 48:48

Yeah. And just, and it just comes off mean. Like it just, like, I don't know how else to describe it. It's just like, okay, like you're a grown ass woman. Like calm down.

Kristen: 48:57

Right. And that's why it's like, as a Barb, I just wish that, you know, ultimately, like, I want it to be about the music. But then it's like, she drops the diss track and it's like, I don't want this.

Elizabeth: 49:08

Yeah. But I do, but I will say the tea is interesting. The tea is hot. The tea is serving because I know that song that Megan Thee Stallion put out had like so many people that will, I don't think she said them by name, but like there was lots of references to different people,

Kristen: 49:22

Right, it wasn't just Nikki that got the smoke, man. Everybody was getting it. And now it's just

Elizabeth: 49:27

kind of hates on her after the whole shooting thing.

Kristen: 49:30

Right! It's just like,

Elizabeth: 49:32

don't get that. I don't get the hate for her for that.

Kristen: 49:35

Which a lot of people are saying, like, to her point, like, especially when it comes to the Tory Lanez case and, like, the shooting in itself, it's like everyone's so upset, like, you sent him to jail, but it's like, the case was about the, what was it, the state versus Tory, because the real issue was, why the heck did he have a gun when he's a Canadian? She was just a witness. Ray!

Elizabeth: 49:59

about. What, what clout and art are we going to get from this? Like,

Kristen: 50:03

for real, and that's why Megan said in her new song, she was like, if y'all want to talk to him so bad, download JPEG, write him in prison. I don't know what you want me to do, he's beyond me. She cleared him with that.

Elizabeth: 50:14

I love her though, I

Kristen: 50:15

No, yeah, I live for her and I think that's one thing that I said on my TikTok, like it just hurts me because it's like I'm a fan of everyone, Cardi B, Nicki, Lotto, iSpice, Doja Cat, like I want everyone to be united hand in hand. I said I want everyone to look more unified than the Disney Channel Friends for Change campaign. Not sure if you remember that,

Elizabeth: 50:38

uh, yeah. Memory unlocked right there. They're all singing. Yes. Yes. Demi Lovato, the Jonas Brothers, Ali and AJ. Yes.

Kristen: 50:48

Like, that would be my version. Like, I said, that's what I want for America. For us to be united. It's like, I feel like I was campaigning for presidency. Like, that would be my first like, motion that I would set. That the girlies would be forced to make up, hold hands, and that rap beef wouldn't, you know, be a thing. But I know that human conflict is like, natural. But like, man, it's just hard out here when you stan everybody. So, I'm

Elizabeth: 51:14

Yeah. But also like to your point, what you're trying to say, it still would have been different if Nikki would have came out and like said all the things that she Is projecting for. So rather than dissing the individual, it's like, screw this. Like, why don't I have a Grammy? Screw this. Like the billboard thing. Like you're saying that doesn't count. Now, if we counted for all of them, screw this, like his merch sales, like, call out, call out the industry, you know, use your fame cause like, if she's getting screwed, you don't think the little guys, I'm sure they are.

Kristen: 51:43

And if she, if she changed it in that perspective, then she could be like the leader forward for all of, you know, the other people who need a voice to make those changes for things. But it just ends up being like this whole screwed up thing. I'm Cardi B hasn't spoken on it. I'm waiting for her to enter the chat, man. Man. Man. Man.

Elizabeth: 52:07

not quiet. So yeah, I

Kristen: 52:09

She, she'll like be so quick to like tweet a meme of like someone looking to the side and you're like, Ooh, Cardi, what,

Elizabeth: 52:15

like a hermit with a T. Like the hermit, the frog with the

Kristen: 52:17

Yes. Uh, yeah. And I just truly think that all of this like started because Megan chose to have that song with Cardi B. They did WAP and then Nicki was like, Ooh. maybe something else happened behind the scenes, but I feel like maybe that was the problem. Like, with Nikki, if you're going to be on her side, she doesn't really want you working with other people she doesn't like. Which I think kind of sucks from a business standpoint, where it's like, man, like, at the day, business is business. I should be allowed to make a song with someone, even if you don't like them, and we could still be friends, but

Elizabeth: 52:47

she like hates everybody. So

Kristen: 52:48

Yeah, it's like, uh, it's just, it's, it's difficult. I feel like I always try to think about it from like a rational Barb standpoint, where it's like, I still want to be here for the music. I already bought my tickets for the Pink Friday too. What am I going to do? Resell them? Like, I still want to go.

Elizabeth: 53:04

Maybe she'll hear this episode and then she's gonna. Awaken into self awareness and be like, you know what, Kristen and Elizabeth were right. I just need to go shut down the music industry and give all my fellow females a hug.

Kristen: 53:17

Yeah, like that's what I would want. Like, I was just, I had such high hopes for this tour. Like in a perfect world, her and Lotto would have been able to go on the tour together. She could have been an opening act. That would have been a great choice. Like, oh man.

Elizabeth: 53:30

Lotto either?

Kristen: 53:31

No.

Elizabeth: 53:32

geez.

Kristen: 53:35

I think that was over the Grammys too, if I'm not mistaken.

Elizabeth: 53:38

Interesting. Why is she going to hate her for that? Like that, like she doesn't pick that.

Kristen: 53:43

I don't know, even Lotto like leaked a phone call of her trying to talk to Nikki and Ration with her and she's like, what is exactly the problem? And Nikki's like not really giving her a clear answer. So then I think she just ends up getting so lost in it where it's like a displaced anger type of moment. So it's like, Barbz, don't cancel me if you guys are listening to this. I'm here for Nikki. I'm here for everybody. I just want to be able to just have like It not get too crazy, right? Right? Rat beef can stay rat beef, but once it comes to we're on live for three days straight, that's a little bit too much.

Elizabeth: 54:17

And we need to support each other. don't let them win by putting us against each other. we actually should be together and go after them. Cause that's really what needs to happen.

Kristen: 54:25

Right, like there's already so much going on with like the men in the industry, like we need more of that female moment because at one point all we did have was Nicki Minaj, like quite literally.

Elizabeth: 54:36

And I feel like that's what she's still holding on to in a way. But even still, and we don't have to get too much into this, but I was going to say, Little Kim before her and so many others before her. I mean, didn't she have beef with Little Kim when she first kind of came on the scene? And it's like, Little Kim was here long before you, so I don't know. It's interesting.

Kristen: 54:53

Yeah. It really is. I have to remind myself that in the day we don't know these people, you know, the day it's about the music, but it gets so hard because it's like, I was supposed to go to the Pink Friday tour with my sister and she's like, I don't know if I want to go anymore. And I'm like, girl, don't.

Elizabeth: 55:11

like, hey boo.

Kristen: 55:12

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

Elizabeth: 55:15

Well, if only we could give Nicki Minaj self awareness, which also plays into imposter syndrome. It all full circle. It's all connected.

Kristen: 55:23

Yes, exactly.

Elizabeth: 55:26

gracious. Well, last question for you before we close things out. What are you currently in between? What in between

Kristen: 55:35

Man, right now, I would say that I'm actually navigating being in between, do I pour into myself and allow myself to be able to have time off with a vacation or do I think responsibly focus on saving in 2024? That's been my biggest debate because my birthday is coming up next month. month. You know, I'm a Pisces, love Pisces down. And I was just like, okay, it's going to be my 28th birthday. And I oftentimes like don't prioritize myself when it comes to my birthday. I am like such a big like birthday person when it comes to the people in my life and my family. I'm like, let's go somewhere. Let's do something Last year, I surprised my sister balloons the whole nine like I go above and beyond and then when it comes to my birthday I'm just like actually cancel it forget it. I don't deserve anything

Elizabeth: 56:24

Oh, good is gracious.

Kristen: 56:26

Like I don't know why I'm like that like it's literally 0 100 so fast, but me and my boyfriend had like booked a room and we're actually going to this like nice suite that has like a pool in the room and stuff like that, but then I thought about it. I'm like, I should probably be thinking economically like, groceries are expensive. I have bills like I've got debt. Maybe I need to just be focused on that. But it's like, then I'm kind of in between where it's like YOLO. So I think navigating that when you're In your 20s and 30s, it's just so difficult because it's like you don't want to pass on experiences because I know that like when I'm in my 50s and 60s, I want to look back on saying like, yes, I took that trip. Yes, I booked that experience. But then at the same time, I'm just like, but I have to, you know, make wise decisions for my financial security for the future. So I oftentimes find myself like over contemplating that Every single birthday, because I always feel like it's too much to try to spend that much money on splurging on myself for that day. When in reality, it's like, I don't even really do much else for the rest of the year, so why am I making it a big deal, but

Elizabeth: 57:35

yourself, give yourself this day to celebrate you and feel special and embrace all of that and accept all of that magic, all the magic that is Kristen. And just treat yourself like in treating yourself doesn't have to be like, Oh, I'm going to go buy six designer bags. I mean, I wish we had that kind of money. That'd be great. But But you owe it. I mean, you've been working two jobs, even technically one doesn't pay you yet. Like you've still been working two jobs. You've been going hard since August. You owe it to yourself to take that time to treat yourself like you've been working two jobs. One job that doesn't pay you. So, uh, I'm talking about the podcasting in case you weren't picking up on that. Um, so I support the Kristen, go spend a special night with your boyfriend and celebrate your birthday. and I was also thinking, like, when you said, I don't know why I'm not like this with mine, but I'm like this with everybody else's. It made me think about what you said about your grandma, and maybe you don't feel like you deserve to have that attention.

Kristen: 58:32

No, that's T. No. Yeah. That's T. You never even, I never even thought about that, but that, so that's so true.

Elizabeth: 58:42

Cause I love giving, but like, I get sometimes uncomfortable, like surprises for myself, even though I do want them, but it's like, if I get them, I'm like overwhelmed and I'm like, ah, I'm very uncomfortable, you know? So it's interesting. Something to think about. Something to

Kristen: 58:56

Yeah, yeah, no, but you're totally right. Like, I deserve to be able to take that time. Like, I haven't really been doing too, you know, I've been doing better financially, not making any rash decisions because for a while, like, I was just going crazy, like, buying a bunch of stuff I didn't need, but it's like, I've truly, like, cleaned that up within the last six months, and I'm like, I really want to focus on, you know, different things that matter, like, contributing more to my 401k, and like, actually trying to be an adult, even though I don't feel like it. So I'm proud of myself for that. So I deserve to be able to like do what I want to do for my birthday. It makes sense. It's my birthday.

Elizabeth: 59:32

All right. You better, you better do it for your birthday. I'm telling you, do something special. You deserve it.

Kristen: 59:37

Right.

Elizabeth: 59:38

don't know. It just feels good. It feels good. And it's also like excited to look forward to something too. I think that helps like kind of keep, especially when things like feel heavy or like stressful and overwhelming. It's like, well, at least I have this light at the end of the tunnel, you know?

Kristen: 59:49

exactly. Something to look forward to. So I'm officially going to make sure I put the PTO in tomorrow because I literally decided this morning that like, no, I'm, I'm going to go through with it. It's booked. Why not go?

Elizabeth: 1:00:01

I love that. I love the energy. Yes. Oh, well, I have seriously loved this episode. I loved having you come on, Kristen. You were fabulous. You were wonderful. So tell all my listeners, where can they find you?

Kristen: 1:00:14

Yes, you can find me on Instagram at little bit of live podcast TikTok. That's the same at little bit of live podcast and on YouTube. I post my videos every Friday, so come hang.

Elizabeth: 1:00:28

Come hang with your girl, Kristen.

Kristen: 1:00:30

Yes.

Elizabeth: 1:00:30

she's a fellow lightworker, a fellow lover of life and love and camaraderie. I know that sounded so lame, but you know what I'm trying to say. Camaraderie!

Kristen: 1:00:40

peace, love and light. That's what we're about.

Elizabeth: 1:00:43

Yes, ma'am. I love it. I love it. Well, thank you everyone for listening to today's episode. I'll make sure to link all of Kristen's social media handles so you can follow her. Um, if you're not doing so already, you can follow me at Elizabeth Cheney underscore and at in dot between pod. And then on Tik I am the in between podcast. So without further ado. I will catch you next week on an all new InBetween. Bye! All