You've Got Too Much Stuff

In this  episode of  the "You Still Have Time" podcast  titled "You've Got Too Much Stuff," we discuss decluttering as a practical and emotional process for seniors, drawing from personal anecdotes, Marie Kondo's joy-sparking method, and The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:12

Hello and welcome to You Still Have Time. We're your host, I'm Hope. And I'm Harold. And we'd like to welcome you to this episode that we don't really have a name for, but I call it you've got too much stuff.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

What do you call it, Harold? Well, I mean, yeah, you got too much stuff. We we were thinking along the lines of decluttering, but you got too much stuff works. I think it gets the point across.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Right. So we'd like to thank all of you who are joining us for this episode, especially those of you who are here for the first time. I shouldn't say especially, especially everybody who's joining us, because we appreciate your listenership. Is that a word?

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Okay. We appreciate we appreciate your listenership. So let's get started. Uh how did we come to this?

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Was it was it your idea or my idea? No, no, you know now. You know my relationship with clutter. So it was my idea. Yes, I think. That's what he's trying to say. Right. Because hope hope has uh well one of the things we want to make clear, this is not just about clutter and organization. We we we want to take it a little further than that, but it was your idea because clutter is something that I guess really makes me anxious.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

And this has not always been the case, I will admit. I think that as I grow older, you know, different things you evolve in different ways and different things bother you at different times. And last year, uh my new year's resolution for 2025 was to start decluttering, getting rid of things that you know just dis were disorganized and just too much. And I started off last year, as most people do with their resolutions, pretty good. I decluttered and organized and threw out my nightstand, which my nightstand has like three drawers and loaded with stuff. And I uh went through it all and did, I thought, a decent job of organizing it. It's not where it was a year ago, but it still got too much stuff.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

You introduced me to this whole concept of decluttering and organization I think maybe a few years ago when you mentioned, or was it last year, the the book, The Swedish uh the Swedish Art of Let me get this right, this Gentle Artist Swedish Death Cleaning, how to free yourself and your family from a lifetime of clutter.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Alright. Yeah, I had seen in in looking at things about you know decluttering, uh many of you I'm sure are familiar with the name Marie Kondo. About 15 years ago, she came out with this book about decluttering and it was all the rage, and uh, you know, her philosophy is that you go through things and you should only keep those things that bring you joy. Well, I don't know if having how many pairs of socks did I go through last year, 75 pairs of socks. I and I don't even wear socks that often. I I only wear socks possibly when it's cold in the winter, but I I don't usually wear socks, but they were like they were like mating in the drawer. And so I went through all of these socks and kind of decluttered them. I I it's it you know when you start this process, you'll be amazed at the kinds of um the kinds of things that you have a lot of, and you'll begin to ask yourself the question, why is that? Which is the question that I was asking myself. I think you just 75 pairs of socks uh about after discarding uh the note, this is personal, 45 pairs of underpants.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

Ooh, that's real personal.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

Well, I mean, I probably had 65 pairs, but I threw 20 out because I don't know why I had them. They're were unwearable. But in any case, I understood why I did that, because whenever I feel the need to buy something, uh, you know, I go into, and I don't know why you feel the need to buy something, but go into a department store, and if I can't find anything else to buy, I buy new underpants.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

Well, I think I think that that falls into another subject that we may talk about on another podcast about how a capitalist economy sort of, I don't know, implants from your early age how much joy that you will get if you buy something new. Even though you have something already that's totally usable, total s totally serviceable, but you want something new to replace it. And then when you get it, you're like, Well, why did I buy that? I already have this.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

There he goes with our capitalist economy. Well, okay, all right. So I think that's not a Marxist, he's not a Marxist. But don't don't don't leave the podcast just yet.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

Don't don't don't uh but okay, I think I'll I I digress. So as part of of these techniques to declutter or to organize, we've sort of melded these ideas into these these points that uh I think I think will help for you to will help you be able to start the process. If you are a clutterer, now I realize not everyone will need to do this because we know people who are, I guess, self-declutterers. They they don't like stuff and you know they have just the right amount of things when something uh you know what is the one of the theories hope you told me about one in, one out. If you Exactly, if you buy something new, you should take something out.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

Right. Uh and that's been hard for me to do. I think it's hard for a lot of people to do. Right. Uh but as Harold was saying, we we looked at, you know, we kind of digressed because he talked about the gentle art of Swedish death cleaning, and the name got me. All right. And I I came to understand that in Sweden and maybe in other places as well, one of the things you do when you get older is you start downsizing. And I mean we do that here too, you downsize your living space and all of that. And that naturally follows a downsizing of the amount of things that you have. And one of the reasons to do that is to not leave it for somebody else to clean up after you're gone.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

I think that anyone who has had to take care of the possessions of a person who has uh died, whether it be a family member or even good friends, you know, it's it's sometimes it could be very daunting to to go through their stuff. And um I think the point here is that you don't want anybody to have to do that. You don't want to you you don't want a child to have to do that. You don't want a you don't want anyone to have to go through your stuff.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

It's someone who cared about you having to, you know, sift through all of the things, all of those reminders of you, uh, some very personal things, I I don't think is something I it's certainly something that I don't want to leave to our children, um, because they're already going to be grieving, and I think it exacerbates that, it prolongs, you know, um that. So it's not something that I want to leave. I you know, both Harold and I were lucky when our parents passed, um, they didn't have a lot of stuff, and we were trying to figure out whether that was generational or not, but I think it's just personality.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

Yeah, well, I think I mean both of our parents grew up during the Depression, and I don't think accumulating excess stuff was part of their DNA. They had what they needed, and that was it. They didn't accumulate 14 TVs or 80 pairs of shoes, or they had what they needed. And they lived, you know, it's funny, when we think back, I know both Hope and I look back at our parents, they didn't have a lot. They didn't make a lot of money, but they seemed to be so happy with exactly what they had.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

And that's not to say there's certainly people in that age group who grew up at the same time as them that had you know, the depression might have had the opposite impact on them. Maybe when when they were growing up where they couldn't get things, they grew up wanting more and more things to sort of put this barrier around them. Maybe it's a protective barrier. I don't know. I'm not a psychologist, but I certainly know that there are people. Uh who are those brothers, the famous Collier brothers in Harlem, who when they died, uh their brownstone was full of stuff. And we've seen those shows on TV. They don't have so many of them anymore where people go in and and clean up and organize things for folks. And um, so you know, all of those things are going through my mind. And it's as I get older, I say, why do I need all this stuff? And anyway, let's let's let's let's go through some of the things that we found uh that that these actually came from the book, The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

Slow and steady wins the race is one of the points. And I think that the point here that they're trying to get across is don't try to get rid of everything immediately. Don't set unrealistic goals for yourself. You didn't accumulate this stuff in a month, and you're not going to rid yourself of it in a month.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

And don't wait till you know you're too old to do it to do it. All right? Don't wait till you're on your deathbed. And I don't want to sound morbid, but as Harold said, you you're gonna take it slow, it's gonna take some time. Give yourself the time. Don't wait until you're incapacitated in some way to start thinking about this and think, oh, I should have done that. Start little by little, start with little things. Start with, you know, I as I said, I started with my um nightstand and just trying to see what's in this nightstand, and I'm gonna do it again. Uh two weeks ago, Harold and I did our linen closet because I've been wanting to get we have a little small linen closet, and it was uh chock full of all kinds of towels and hand towels and washcloths and dish towels and tablecloths. And um we went through it, and I was one of the other points, which you know Harold will note, is not to do it by yourself. Some things you can't do by yourself. You need somebody there to sort of should we keep this? Why are we gonna keep it? You know, to kind of challenge you on those decisions.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

Right, right. And you know, and before we leave the taking it slow, hope you don't you probably don't notice it. I well, as I said earlier in the podcast, clutter doesn't really bother me that much, but I realize that some stuff that I've accumulated that I don't use at all, maybe, maybe haven't used in this decade, maybe haven't used in this century, that I could probably get rid of it. So every we we have a garbage pickup twice a week. And every garbage pickup, there's usually one item included in that pickup. You didn't notice it.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

No, when did you start doing that?

SPEAKER_00 13:03

I started doing it at the beginning of the year. There was something yesterday.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

Oh, I'm I'm impressed.

SPEAKER_00 13:07

Yes. So I pick I take one item and just say, I don't really need this.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

So I just want to and that's one way of getting rid of things. I mean, if if there are things that other people can't use, when we went through the linen closet, there were there were perfectly good towel sets, um, and even the old towels um that could be given given away. Now the old towels and sheets, I didn't know this until I looked it up because I said, you know, who who would want this? Animal shelters. Right. And we took a big bag to our local animal shelter because, of course, they can use them working with all of the dogs and cats that they get in there. Um, and of course, there are places like Goodwill and the Salvation Army who still take things. There may be local, there's a a a local organization in our town that um works with domestic violence victims and they need clothes and housewares and all of that. So if you if you're holding on to it and you're not using it, know that there is somebody out there who can.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

Right. I I think that I know again, we we can only speak for our experience. And a lot of times we accumulate stuff or we hold on to stuff because it's still in great shape. Some of the might even still have the tags on it, may still have be in its original box, but you're not using it. And you've been afraid, not afraid, that's the wrong word, you've been reluctant to get rid of it because, well, this is still like brand new. Yes, but you haven't used it in 20 years. There is someone out there in your community that can use it. Do a little research and you'll find an organization that be that will be more than willing to take your stuff.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

And also, if there are things, there might be things, for example, I have a a coat hanging in the closet that I have not worn in probably 12 years, 10, 12 years. It's always been too long for me. But I spent a lot of money on that coat. And I'm like, oh God, am I gonna give this the goodwill? I you know, I'm being really selfish here. There are places to sell that. You can go on Poshmark, Venmo, not Venmo, um, Poshmark, Vinted, that's that's a new one, ThreadUp. Those are three that I can just think of off the top of my head. And eBay.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

eBay, Facebook Marketplace, you could sell these things. So rather than be, you know, overwhelmed with all this stuff, if that's the reason that some of your items are still, you know, in the boxes or in the closets and never used, there are ways.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

And don't forget, you can re-gift items that people have given you that you can't use. I know how we all feel about that. Somebody gave it to me as a gift and I can't give it away. But if you're not using it, what value is it? You know, um, so just think about that. If you have items that people have given to you and you don't want to hurt their feelings, if you haven't worn it since they gave it to you, they kind of know. So give it to somebody who can use it.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

There's a there's another uh uh item or another category of stuff. You ever go to uh an event and they have these Tchotskis? Yeah, the gift bags. The gift bags. You don't have to take those home. You don't have to take them. Because how often have you taken those things home and as soon as you got home and took them out of the bag, you're trying to figure out what can I do with this? How do I use it? Don't take it.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

But they're free, and that's why we take it because it's uh giving us something for free.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

Okay, well anyway. My point is that make better decisions to what you bring in. That way you won't have to worry about what to take out. Now, we were talking, uh I sort of got you sidetracked when we were talking about getting others involved because it e it is easier to do this with someone else, with someone else's eyes, because what might seem so valuable to you, they will look at it and say, you know that's a piece of junk, right? You know that's a piece of junk. Why are you holding on to that? So it I think it's it make it might make it a little easier.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

And if nothing else, someone asking that question of you, why are you holding on to that might might make you think about why are you holding on to that? Now, there are some things that you know you're going to hold on to. You know, there might be pieces of jewelry, there might be other keepsakes that belong to your parents or your grandparents, and you want to pass down to your children uh to the next generation to keep this going. We're not saying that you have to throw everything out, because certainly we're not gonna do it here. But if you find things that you want to keep, put those aside. But everything is not keepable. And I remember I think the name of the show was Clean Sweep. Uh they would go in and you know, do all of these things in people's houses, and there was a British guy, I think it was British or Australian, who did the organization. And he would talk to people and he would go like through their attics or storage rooms and all of that, and and he would say, and they say, Oh, but that was my grandmother's and I love it so much. He said, Then why is it in a box in the attic? You know, if it's that important to you, treat it as if it were important.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

I think that's a key point because we all have that sentimental stuff. And it's so sentimental, but it's in the basement, and we haven't seen it since we moved into the house.

unknown 19:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

So that means it's really not that sentimental. You've just kept it for I don't know even why. Because we have it, we have it. We we not only do we have a garage and an attic, we have a storage base.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

Oh yeah, I was gonna bring up, you know, we didn't talk about that in planning for this episode, but you know, people actually we have a house with basements or attics or whatever, and you still have so much stuff, it's in the storage space. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

So garages, right? So but you're paying for storage space. So another very practical reason for this decluttering is maybe you can save some money. Not only can you make money from getting rid of this stuff that's like brand new or in good condition that you can sell, you might be able to save money when you'll because you don't have to pay for storage, or you might be able to downsize the place where you're living because when you look at it, you say, well, why it it's just the two of us. Why do we have five bedrooms? Well, three bedrooms are full of stuff.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

We don't. We don't have three bedrooms or five bedrooms. Well, I'm just using it as an example. Well, I just wanted to clarify for the folks who are listening.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

They don't all know us. I think they know we don't.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

How would they know? I'm hoping that there are people that we have not met who are listening to us, not just our friends and family.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

But you know, talking about going back to the sentimental stuff, hope you had mentioned, you know, if you have things that, you know actually, Hope gave me this idea. I'd never I had never thought about this before, but I think a lot of us have things that we would like to leave to our kids. Give it to them now. Yeah, why wait? If you're if you have jewelry or or there may be something that was handed down to you from your parents or your grandparents, and you plan to hand it down to your children, give it to them now.

SPEAKER_01 21:17

Right. And if they're too young, you know, uh, I have a good friend who has some jewelry and you know, she wants to pass it down to her granddaughter. Now her granddaughter is not of age yet, so she's holding on to it. Give it to their parents, or or at least put it someplace, design a designated space. Um, because I I saw yesterday uh things that are I'm I'm I know I'm jumping around here, but it said something about things that are important to you. I think it was from the same woman who wrote the Swedish Death Cleaning book. Uh if They're only important to you, if they're only of value to you, put it in a box somewhere and label that to be discarded after death. You know, that you don't have to hold on to so that you don't put the burden of making the decision about what you want it to pass down or or keep or whatever on on the people who you leave behind. And that leads where we should have started is with with leave those kinds of discarding for last. Go through all the easy stuff. The easy stuff, go through your clothes, go through your dishes, go through your linens and and you know appliances and all of that. Leave the the really important stuff in my mind, the stuff that's of emotional value, sentimental value, because that's the hardest stuff to declutter. And I think that we've all been there at some point. That is the hardest stuff to declutter.

SPEAKER_00 23:03

Well, hope one of the things that again, you know, like hope has taught me a lot about decluttering, even though I don't do it because but you are doing it.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

I'm so proud of you. You're getting rid of something. Right.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

But I'm sure if you've got children, if if you're you have adult children and you've got their stuff from grade school, give it to them.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

Give it to them. When we cleaned out the linen closet, I found my son's Star Wars towel. Literally, that towel has to be, I don't know, how many decades old. And I just put it aside and he came over a few days later and he was actually happy to see it. I said, Do you know what this is? He said, That's my Star Wars towel. Right. So I gave it to him.

SPEAKER_00 23:46

Right. Why was I keeping it? Right. So I know that when we look at some of these items, yes, we remember their childhood and we think about, you know, we get that, oh, but you don't need to hold on to it. Give it to them. More than likely they're gonna just throw it away anyway.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

Now I was just thinking, one of the things that I didn't see in either of these two, the the Marie Kondo version or the Swedish death cleaning version, were photographs. But photographs, and God knows we have thousands. Harold, one of Harold's serial hobbies, he's a serial hobbyist, he goes from hobby to hobby to hobby to hobby, and then back again, is photography. So lots of photographs. Uh I have lots of photo albums from my parents or my kids, and they're in a two big boxes in a closet in the office. And I know at some point I'm gonna have to go through those things. And I think that the ones that are salvageable, because probably some of them are not even in good enough condition to keep, is to scan them, or have them scanned and digitize them. And I know that's that's a big word for some seniors, but there's services out there.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

If you can't do it or if no one in your family can do it, there are services out there that can do that for you. And quite frankly, hope you not only photographs, but if you have diplomas, report cards, report cards. I mean we if you have your your child's third grade report card and you think it's that important, you may want to just scan it. And and it would just save so much space.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

Yeah. Yeah, because then you don't have to put it in a box somewhere. Then it doesn't have to disintegrate.

SPEAKER_00 25:36

Right. And you could put it well, I was gonna say you can ha lo upload it to the cloud and it live forever, or at least until AI comes up with something. Well, it's better than in the closet.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

Anyway, uh have we covered all of these?

SPEAKER_00 25:55

I think we have.

SPEAKER_01 25:55

We've we've we we've rambled along.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

We've rambled along, and I think people already, you know, either either they've switched us off or they're in the closet getting all that stuff out.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

But I I hope um that this episode has encouraged those of you who have said to yourself, as I have, as I reported so many times, oh, I'm gonna get into that closet, or I'm gonna get rid of some of this stuff. Uh know that as I sit here in our in our this room that holds probably 200 skeins of yarn. I could open a yarn store because I'm a knitter, uh, that has not been used. Some of it hasn't been used in years. I don't know if the yarn is even any good anymore. I I'm gonna have to tackle this. But I hope it gives you some inspiration to do so. And maybe in future episodes, maybe I'll just let you know how we're doing. Just just a little tip. We did the linen closet. I'm very proud. And Harold's throwing things out at least twice a week.

SPEAKER_00 26:59

At least twice a week, one item at a time.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

I can't wait. It will take till 2029 to clear out that garage. But well, well, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

All that stuff's not going out. I was getting ready to would you believe it. Well, to to see the difference. I was getting ready to get rid of my snowshoes, and then all of a sudden we had all the snow last week. And I see, see, I said this is a conversation I had with myself. Now, the snowshoes, I went snowshoeing once in my life. Bought a pair of snowshoes, and they've been up on the wall ever since. And I was getting ready to throw them away, and then we had two feet of snow. I said, somebody's telling me, no, you might want to hold on to those snowshoes. But anyway, I think I think we've covered all the topics that we wanted to cover.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

All right. Let us know how you feel about this episode. Uh, you know, do you have any other ideas? You know, we we'd love to hear from you as always. Harold, tell them how they can reach us.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

You can send us an email at you still have time podcast at gmail.com. You can leave us a voicemail message at speakpipe, and the link is in our show notes. You can wherever you listen to this podcast, Spotify or YouTube or Apple. Apple. Wherever you listen to, I know there's a lot of other sources. You can leave us a note there. You can email us. You can email us, as I think we said, and um let us know how you're feeling about our podcast. What top topics do you think we should cover that we haven't? We'd really like to hear you from you.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

Oh, and so and so I'm glad you said that. I'm gonna put out a plea. We want to do a podcast on senior dating. And so far, I think we had one taker. Uh and and I I think we at least at least, excuse me, need to get the perspective from a male and a female.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

Uh so if any of you are interested in discussing this, or if you know somebody who might be interested, you could maybe touch base with them and and give them our email address because yeah, we think that that's a topic that might be of interest to us.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Yes. And obviously, you know, we haven't dated in a while. No, I think you should take me out on a date. Dating has changed. I think you should take me out on a date.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 29:26

Anyway.

SPEAKER_00 29:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:28

Lovely, lovely talking to all of you folks. You'll probably cut this. So if it stays in, you know, I've I've won something. The date will be to get rid of some more socks. Okay. Um, until the next time, people, um, be well. And uh remember, you still have time.

SPEAKER_00 29:49

Take care, folks.