Daily LIfe Trauma

When you watch someone die on your phone it is traumatic. When we learn shocking news almost continually we get overwhelmed. It shouldn't be this way, but it is. How to manage? How to not lose your mind or your emotional balance when the world is so crazy?

When we are wounded we need healing. We can't go on collecting wounds and ignore the urgent care we need. There's no cure for this, but there is help. 

Transcript

Daily life has become traumatic. Especially if you see the news, and it is hard not to see the news. Someone recently told me, “I saw a man get murdered on my phone.” This wasn’t choosing to watch a train wreck that they couldn’t look away from; no they didn’t want to see this but it appeared automatically. Seeing that is traumatic, and it is our current reality. These wonderful and terrible things we carry in out pockets connect us to the world, for better and worse. Years ago when all this was new I was gushing about the marvels of a device that could connect us wherever we are. A friend responded, yes, but it is also a tether that you can’t get away from. If you don’t know, a tether is a rope or chain, like what is on the leg of a captive elephant or the ankle of a criminal; it prevents wandering free. Now we can hardly be free. 

There have always been “wars and rumors of wars” as the bible says. And as long as there has been recorded history there has been man’s inhumanity to fellow men. But our sense has grown that things are really a mess. We feel people should be able to get along better, and people should feel safe in their homes and communities. When we experience bad things, they burn into our minds. Any event you can’t integrate into your life becomes traumatic. That is, if you can’t make sense of it, if your nervous system is not up to the intensity of it, it becomes a trauma you carry around that will disable you in some way. You can distract yourself and act like it didn’t happen, but the effects will still come out somehow. 

So, what do we do about this? Recently I heard that when we are wounded by an event in life we need a corresponding time of healing in order to manage it. I believe that to be true. When there is emotional damage there needs to be emotional healing. But it is getting harder to try to heal from the speed and intensity of the wounds coming our way. 

But all we can do is keep trying. It may seem like spitting into the wind, or the little Dutch boy with his finger in the dike. But if we don’t try, what is the option? Give up? Let the bad guys win?

Have you heard the old starfish story? A little boy is walking on a beach where hundreds of starfish have washed up. He walks along, picks up a starfish, flings it back into the water then moves to another starfish and does it again. Over and over, he tosses these sea animals back into the surf where they can survive away from the hot sun that will dry them up. An adult sees this and asks, “Why are you doing that? Don’t you see you not going to make much difference to this many starfish stranded onshore?” And the little boy keeps picking them up and says, ”it made a difference to that one, and to that one, and that one…”

Is the damage so great to our world that we can’t do anything that will make a real difference? Is the damage to you so great that nothing can be done to help you heal and manage the trauma? Here’s a question: What gives more energy, hope or cynicism? Cynicism seems true and logical. It has many convincing examples to persuade us toward resignation or despair. Hope is often equipped with little evidence. There is a saying, “blind faith,” because faith is often forging ahead against all odds. A Christmas song says, “only in our blind belief, can we ever find the truth.” Maybe, just maybe there is something greater than us that we can look to for hope. 

Take a few moments to meditate on this. If safe to do so, close your eyes and get in a comfortable position. Don’t try to stop the thoughts or feelings but focus your attention on your basic senses: touch, smell, and hearing. Notice where you have tightness in your muscles, anywhere from head to toes. Relax as much as you can. Now ask yourself, where is the fear or anger in you right now. Is it personal, national or global? Are there actions you can take to change it? Wait a few moments to receive what you feel led to do. Many tough things in our lives are out of our control; we can only accept them an adjust. But some things we can affect. We can be in the moment with who we love and who we are called to help. We can do something if we hope. Where is your hope? Who or what carries hope for you, if only a glimmer? Remember, hope energizes, cynicism brings only despair and drains energy away.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1 NIV