When LIfe Is Too Much!

From the news to your own life, things can get to be too much to handle. Lately that seems more likely than ever. Wars, crises, personal problems all add up to go beyond our ability to cope. Here are some ideas to help.  

Transcript

Sometimes life is beyond our skills to handle. For example, we drive faster than humans were designed to go. I don’t mean our bodies have a certain speed limit, I mean as drivers we have to respond to many risk factors at any given minute in order to stay safe on the road. It’s called complex reaction time. You may have the benefit of car safety features and safe road design. But ultimately, you decide, second by second, to speed up or slow down, how to turn the steering wheel, to hit the brakes or not. Most of the time we are safe. But how much is our skill? Or is it luck (or the grace built into the universe) that keeps us from crashing? 

Sometimes life is beyond our skills to handle. Some places immediately feel uncomfortable; the “vibe” is bad. I have visited many hospital rooms of critically ill persons. Walking out I often believed they would not get out alive. It doesn’t feel good. How could it? Life and death are in the balance for the person. As the visitor you feel uneasy or afraid. 

Sometimes life is beyond our skills to handle. Some countries have been in civil war or tribes fighting other tribes for generations. Fighting, destruction, and loss are the background noise for everyone living there. 

This is beyond our skills to handle. War and threats to end civilization burst into our view on our phones or computers. It’s not calming; it is upsetting even for us many miles away from the action. Seeing these things is traumatic, and that’s our current reality. Phones connect us wherever we are, for good and for the terrible. 

There have always been “wars and rumors of wars” as the Bible says. There has always been man’s inhumanity to fellow man. But our knowing about it has grown. When we experience bad things or just see them in the news, they set into our minds. Any event you can’t make sense of, that’s too intense for your nervous system, becomes a trauma you carry around. That disables you in some way. You can distract yourself and act like it didn’t happen, but the effects carry on. 

Life can demand more than we are capable of handling, just under typical circumstances, like driving. Then threats to our life, real or imagined overwhelm us. Things really are a mess.

So, what do we do about this? When we are wounded, we need a corresponding time of healing in order to manage it. Physical wounding needs physical healing. Emotional damage needs emotional healing. And it is harder these days to heal due to the speed and intensity of wounds coming your way. 

What can we do but keep trying? It may seem like spitting into the wind. But if we don’t try, what is the option? Give up? Let the bad guys win?

Is the damage so great to our world that we can’t do anything that will make a real difference? Is the damage to you so great that nothing can be done to help you heal and manage the trauma? I know this, hope gives more energy than cynicism. Cynicism seems true and logical. It has many convincing examples to persuade us to resignation or despair. Hope is often equipped with little evidence. A Christmas song says, “only in our blind belief, can we ever find the truth.” It’s not blind, but faith is often forging ahead against the odds. Maybe, just maybe there is something greater than us that we can look to for hope. 

I love the old movie “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The star character falls on hard times and gives in to despair. He wishes he had never been born. Then he sees all the bad things that would have happened if he hadn’t been there to help. He also sees the good things that weren’t done because if he wasn’t born, they didn’t get done. You can do your part, and only you work out what that is, with whom that is, and when and how. 

Take a few moments to meditate on this. If safe to do so, close your eyes and get in a comfortable position. Settle in. Focus your attention on your basic senses: touch, smell, and hearing. If thoughts or feelings come, don’t try to fight them, just put your focus on your senses. Notice where you have tightness in your muscles, anywhere from head to toes. Relax as much as you can. Now ask yourself, where is the fear or anger in you right now? If you find fear or anger, is it about you, or your country, or the world? Try to put words to it. How might you describe it? Can you take a step to change it? Wait a few moments to receive what you feel led to do. Although many things in our lives are out of our control, there are always things we can do. Taking some action may come to mind for you. Take a few long slow breaths, breathing in the actions you are called to take. Breathe out the responsibility for the problem or success in changing it. We can do something if we hope. Where is your hope? Who or what carries hope for you, if only a glimmer? Remember, hope energizes, cynicism brings only despair and drains energy away.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1 NIV

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.  Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.   Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:9-10,12  NIV