⏺️🎙️ Toilet Training: Tips & Tricks!

This podcast hosted by Jennifer Welker will focus on looking for toileting readiness and how to support a child’s sensory needs to prepare for toileting training. 

Sometimes there are little things parents can do to help encourage that next level of learning, even if a child has had no potty training, or is partially toilet trained. This podcast will include many things to consider to support successful toilet training experiences! In addition, many tips and tricks using visuals, strategies, and other helpful tools will be presented! 

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Transcript

 If you are here, you are seeking some toilet training tips and tricks.  So I am Jennifer Welker and I'm going to be hopefully answering some of your questions and just giving you some new ideas that you haven't thought of before. I'm sure there's people in this group that have done toilet training.

There's maybe some that it's totally new and daunting. Maybe there's some that, hey, I've been trying and it's just not going well. So maybe we can look into that and troubleshoot what's going on. And just know that I'm in the journey. with you. And I will explain that here in a second.  So just a little bit of background about me.

I've been in education for 16 years, mostly focused on the autistic population, although various needs included. I've been with A360 since December of 2020. What a year, huh? And I actually have a background in organizational leadership and special education. I'm also a board certified behavior analyst.

But more importantly, I'm a wife, I'm a mom, and I'm a dog mom. And what qualifies me to do this webinar for you all is that I have participated in a few potty parties. So, if you don't know what a potty party is, you're gonna know by the end of this webinar. Okay, so, I said I was gonna be in the, in the trenches with you guys, and here's my why.

This is my little one, Kalani. She is now almost 22 months, so in September she'll be two. Uh, which means that we are right around that point. where I'm going to start trying to potty train. I'm not rushing her by any means, but just starting to kind of expose her. So as we go in, I'll, I'll kind of explain some of the ways that I'm doing that.

I've also got my dog Sussex there in the corner.  He is potty trained, thankfully.  So with that said, let's get going. Okay, so all in all, our agenda today is to look at signs of potty training readiness.  We're also going to look at sensory system considerations. And this is probably the biggest area that maybe folks don't think about that could present barriers or challenges for potty training.

You need to think about supplies and what all you might need. There's some different methods to potty train. So we want to talk about that. I'm a huge visuals person. We use visuals in our daily life. So just being able to use those visual supports in teaching any new skill is important, especially potty training.

And then it's important just to keep that motivation going once you have potty training. child with those initial skills. So those are the areas we will address. Okay, so is my child ready to be toilet trained? So there's a few questions I want you to ask yourself when you are considering this. So I'll just go through these real quick because I've got a slide for each one.

Can they imitate?  How is their communication?  Are they aware that they're going or when they have to go? How long do they stay dry? That sensory readiness that we talked about. And then, is the family itself ready for the process?  So let's dive into those a little bit deeper. Okay, so these are just some visuals for you because, like I said, I'm a visuals person.

So, the first question was, can the child imitate?  So, when I say imitation, what I mean is, And they copy what you do. So if you were to say, I'm clapping, will they join you in clap? Or if you were to do a dance, would they follow you and do that dance? And the reason that we ask this question is just because, and, and I'm not saying that a child necessarily has to be able to imitate all of these actions to necessarily be toilet trained.

But it definitely is a good sign if they know how to follow a direction or you can model something for them and then they can do it back to you. And that makes sense, right? Because we want them to be able to follow us to the bathroom, to watch how we, you know, sit down on the toilet, watch how you would pull down pants or pull up pants, watch how you would wash hands.

So, These are all things that we would want them to be able to model after us. So those imitation skills are really helpful if they are present. And, you know, sometimes I've heard a lot of parents say like, Oh, well, I try to get my child to imitate, but they don't even look at me or look towards me. When I'm doing something.

And so that's kind of a prerequisite to be able to imitate, right. Is, is being able to get their attention and make things exciting. And so those are things to look for when you're considering is my child ready? Um, and definitely if they don't have these skills, that might be a sign to, Hey, step back, focus on getting their attention, being excited, working on those imitation skills, and then you can come back.

So there's, there's never anything wrong with working on those prerequisite skills. It makes things much more successful later on.  Another consideration is how is their communication?  Now, again, I'm not saying they have to fully be able to communicate to be toilet trained, that is not the case at all.

However, you do want to consider how they communicate and what they understand. So, if I'm able to say, Oh, go to the bathroom, and let's try. Is that too much information for them to take in and understand, or is that just right? So, you know, for my daughter, who is almost two, I can probably say, Let's go to the bathroom.

And she would at least follow me if she doesn't know. What bathroom is right and I can teach her that as we are, if she's modeling me and we're walking there, you might need to use a visual to prompt that, or you might need to sign it. It's whatever that form of communication is that that child has. And so thinking about what they understand how they communicate back to you, this is going to be important later for initiation and just consider all these little skills that you have to teach.

In order just to teach potty training. So I don't want that to feel overwhelming. I just really think that when you break it down, these things that we're asking our kids to do are so complex and so multi step, you don't really think about it. It's kind of like, I've done this in the past, like, okay, write down a recipe and, and then have someone do it.

And so I'll be like, Oh, okay. Yeah, sure. I write down a few steps and then I read it, have someone read it to me and I do it. And if I do it just the way that I wrote it. I often find that I have left out some transitional steps. Like, oh, butter, put butter on the bread. Okay, how am I going to do that? I could stick my hand in the butter and rub it on, but that's not what I mean, right?

I mean, first, open drawer, then get knife, then put knife in butter. So see how many mini steps are in what we think of as one step. So just keep that in mind, because sometimes we have to work on those little skills and those small steps. Before we, you know, dive head into the full toilet training process and, and that is totally okay.

Okay. And the next one is bodily awareness.  Does the child feel when they have to go? Are they aware of when they need to go? Or when they're wet? So a lot of times, like my daughter right now, she wears diapers or nappies, and she happily wears her diapers, nappies. So when she goes, she doesn't indicate, she doesn't say anything to me, right? 

Occasionally if her diaper gets really full, or maybe it's starting to, you Fall off on one side or need adjusting. She will kind of like point to it and be like, oh no, oh no. And so that is the start of her having some awareness that something changed down there. Something feels different. And so that is an important indicator to knowing if potty training is, is right for you right now.

Are they able to tell and feel it? And if they are, great. And that, remember, they can indicate keeping their communication in mind. They might indicate by saying, Oh no, I'm, oh no, wet. Oh no, ouch. You know, uh, uncomfortable. But they might also communicate by pointing or rubbing or throwing their clothes off because it's uncomfortable.

So, look at those things as a type of communication as well. Knowing that they are responding to that, that sensation, and they are feeling a change, feeling the wetness, feeling the, you know, the, the bowel movement, whatever it is, and that is a good sign. Next, how long are they able to stay dry? So if you've noticed that in between diaper, nappy, pull up changes, you know, you can go a good hour, two hours, and it's still dry, then that's also a really good sign that your child might be ready.

Because that shows that they have some control, some bladder control, and that they're able to hold it for a little bit, which is definitely very helpful in the process, and also shows that they have some of that mind body connection when it comes to needing to go. So this is what I don't think my daughter has yet, right?

She, again, she's still little and I'm not pushing it at all, but she, she pees a lot. She pees frequently. So that kind of shows me that she doesn't have that control yet or that awareness. However, that being said, I'm going to kind of go off on a tangent. I have multiple stories I'll tell you today. So this, this is one.

She. Well, he's not ready to necessarily be fully toilet trained, right? She doesn't have all these indicators. However, that doesn't stop me from starting to teach and model some of those skills. So think about that. If your child right now, you're like, oh my gosh, maybe they're not ready. They don't have these, all these indicators you're talking about.

That's okay. You can still work on things to kind of make the environment more comfortable and more inducive to when they are ready. So for example, for my daughter, I have two little potty seats. And the reason I have two is just because I saw one and it was cute. And then I saw another one and it was cute.

So, so we got two and that works because we have two levels on our house. So I just randomly a few months ago, it was like, Oh, I found the potty. Okay. I'm just going to put it out. So I put one, that's a little penguin one. Next to the downstairs toilet. And then I have one that has a little piano, which I have a picture of coming up later.

Uh, and I put that one in our upstairs bathroom and I just set them right next to the regular toilet and  you know, she follows me everywhere, of course. And, and what child, you know, does not at some point follow their mom or dad into the bathroom. Right. I like, you can't get any privacy. That's where you go to hide.

That's where they're going to find you. So I know she's going to come in there. And so when I am. sitting and going, she will see me and oh, well, there's a conveniently a little spot for her right next to me. So she'll just sit there, clothes on and everything. And that's fine. Like I'm not pushing the pottying at all.

I'm just starting to introduce this new thing in the environment that so that it's comfortable for her and so that it's really not a big deal. And it's not interrupting her play or her day. And so that's a really good way to just sort of start building those, those pre readiness skills. Um, And then when I go, you know, honestly, I'm, I'm not shy about it with her.

I will label what I'm doing. And, and, and I, I just try to integrate in those sensory sounds and things and label them for her. I'm like, Oh, do you hear that? Oh, that's pee pee in the potty. My goodness. And then, you know, she looks in there when I'm done and, you know, we'll flush. And she'll kind of,  I'm like, Oh, no, it went away.

Oh, good job, mama. Good job. And you know, she, she thinks it's exciting. And so again, starting to just build up that process and that excitement around like, hey, this is normal. This is what we do. And hey, it's good thing. Good job when it happens.  So anyway, back to the slide. How long do they stay dry? The longer they do, the more bladder control they may have.

Then you do have those kids too that can hold it all day, like they go to school or daycare and they come home and they have not gone one bit and then they get home and they just release it, right? So they obviously have some control too. It's a different, it's a different issue than, you know, someone who's going more regularly and just holding it,  but it does show that they have some bladder control. 

Oops. Okay. And then back to the sensory considerations. A lot of, and this poor little bladder is very, very distraught looking, really, it's just about do they have the awareness of that input that's happening in their body? Like, can they tell that anything is going on in their core or in their system?

And so being able to identify that is a really, really important thing. And, we'll, we'll get into that more a little bit later too. And then the last point of readiness is, is the family ready? Okay, this is not just a child getting trained involvement, you know, thing. It's not a one person show or a one parent or one carer and child show.

This is going to affect the whole family. So, just think about how you can build and prepare.  That plan and awareness with everyone who's going to be around that child, and it might even be extended, you know, to teachers and other cares as well.  Make sure everyone's ready, make sure you have the time to dedicate to it.

Think about what is happening in the next, you know, weeks, few months. If you're thinking about doing it, if you have a trip plan, a vacation plan or a holiday. You know, maybe not the best time to start toilet training because you want it to be, if they find success at home, it might find, it might take some, some time for them to carry on that same success and generalize those skills outside of the home.

So know that that's normal and take that into consideration in your planning. Some kids, they get it at home. They're going to go on any toilet and be just fine. But others. You know, hey, I know that I can go at this toilet at home, and I'm comfortable with that, and I've been practicing that, and it's familiar, it's routine, right?

But as soon as you go out to an unfamiliar place, they may seem like they have lost and forgotten all of those things, and you might think, oh my gosh, oh no, you know how to do this, why, why?  It's just because they have not generalized that skill or they have some anxiety surrounding a different setting.

So those are things just to know and to be, give them grace for, right? And then also think about how you can reteach that skill  in a different place or in a new, new environment. And there's also environmental factors that can contribute to their comfort and anxiety. And we will, we'll Also be talking about those a little bit later.

So, readiness. We've talked about several indicators. Now we're going to dive a little bit deeper into sensory system consideration. So, maybe you're like, yeah, my child seems ready. However, I don't know that they're super aware, or maybe there's some things about the bathroom that they don't like that's aversive to them, or maybe it's just, hey, I've tried. 

All kinds of stuff and they just will not go or they are not interested in being in the bathroom. Okay, so that's where you might want to see if there's any sensory system considerations here.  So, I am definitely not the sensory expert like Stacy is who does, does the other webinars. So. But I will, I can dive into it a little bit here and, you know, she, she can always pop on and add things in the chat to enhance what I'm saying.

But anyway, there's several sensory systems in the body and, you know, a lot of them, we don't talk about them regularly by their given name. So you might not even realize that they fall into these categories 5 senses. Right? So there's a system called the interoceptive system. And essentially, these are the internal sensory systems of the body.

key into the receptors in your organs, in your muscles, and in your skin. So these, really it's the biological level, the cellular level of being able to feel things. It's also responsible for the sensations of hunger, thirst, temperature changes, bathroom needs, and other internal body sensations. So tingling in your feet or hands when you've had your foot in a position too long or your hand in a position too long and it starts to fall asleep.

Like these are all things that are sensations. And just this information came from this website down here that I added on. And I believe that since you guys are all here live, gosh, it says we have 80 participants. Wow. That's amazing. Good for you guys. You will get a copy of the slide deck, which has these.

These some of the resources and also links that you can go and visit to find out more about this if you're interested. Let's talk about aside from the interoceptive system, which we mentioned is like, being able to feel that you have to go that the bladders full. I need to do something different. You know, that's one part of the sensory aspect. 

Another part of the sensory aspect is those environmental factors. So,  think about those different bathrooms that you might see or come across in public. Hand dryers, right? Can be in a lot of those bathrooms. I personally find them very convenient, but they are very loud. And, they're kind of scary. So, case in point, again, my daughter was with me.

In, I think it was an airport bathroom, and I'm trying to hurry, I'm trying to change her, I'm trying to go myself, and she walks under the hand dryer, and she's just tall enough to trigger that, and it just started going off, blowing air on her, making noise, and she, like, flipped out because it scared her.

So that's a very, very real thing that can be anxiety causing for our kids and make them want to avoid the bathroom altogether.  So it's not that,  it's not that that's a deal breaker, right? You can either work on an accommodation to help them when there is a hand dryer. So maybe wearing headphones, maybe helping them.

You know, do this or stay away from the hand dryers. Maybe you just try to find a bathroom that doesn't have those at all, if that's possible. So, and also, you know, we'll get into strategies like social stories and teaching skills, but being able to prepare your child to, and show them sometimes is all they need.

So maybe they stand outside the bathroom and you're like, mom, you know, mom's going to dry her hands. Look, this is the hand dryer. When I put my hand here. Oh.  Wow, it, it, it puts air out, it's loud, oh my, and so sometimes just like letting them see you use it and not be sucked up in it or blown away will help to calm some of those anxieties too, so just keep that in mind.

Echoey bathrooms is another thing, so if you walk in and it just gets really loud, that can be aversive for some kids, so again, headphones or finding a different space to go. Sound of flushing. Some kids really love it, and it's fun and reinforcing, which is great, but it's scary, especially when you're in an echoey bathroom because it's extra loud.

Um, the automatic flushers, right? So it's fine when I have control of the flusher, but when that flushing just starts out of the blue and I'm not even done going to the bathroom, oh my gosh, that's super scary sometimes. So again, something to be mindful of and to Prepare your child for those sensors. You can block them might be a little hard, but you could put your finger over it Until the child is done and and moved away and then move your finger and it'll continue to flush So you just have to be thinking about those things a cold seat No, no one likes to sit on a cold hard toilet seat So sometimes that can be a little bit shocking to the system and might make a child uncomfortable toilet paper  You know, they, we see all the commercials for all the softest, best toilet paper, right?

And there's a reason for that, because nobody likes scratchy toilet paper, so sometimes even the feel, and it doesn't have to be a hard and soft thing, it can just literally be the material of that particular toilet paper, could be comforting or it could be aversive to a child, so just in that case, you know, think about maybe having some wipes with you or something else to clean up as needed, and Then, finally, and I know I'm not listing every environmental  factors, these, there are several, but these are a few common ones.

The feeling of underwear versus nappies, that is a whole new experience, right? The good thing about underwear, and I would, I would encourage you to try to get your child into underwear or some sort of training pant when you are potty training because you want them to have that, right? Mind body connection where they feel a difference.

Diapers, nappies are designed to, you know, whisk away that moisture so that they can't feel the discomfort as much underwear and training pants are designed to well. Not hold it, right? So you definitely feel it, but consider that there could be uncomfortable tags. There could be uncomfortable fabrics, a brief versus a boxer, just the fit, the elastic, if you have a child that has those sensory aversions, then you really just have to be mindful of finding the right, the right pair, the right fit.

And, uh, cause the last thing you want to do, right. Is get your kid excited about it. And then all of a sudden introduce something that they just hate. And then it's like, nope, nevermind, I'm not gonna do this now. So that is just another consideration. And the more that, that the years go by, the more, you know, cool things they come up with to help with these types of things.

Okay, I feel like I'm saying a lot and then I feel like I'm, I'm forgetting things as well. So I might come back around to some of this later if I, other things pop into my head. But preparing, again, the environment. Okay, You might have to adapt the seat and a lot of these pictures here are nothing new to anyone.

They're things that you've probably seen this 4th picture with the little piano. That's the 1 that we have. And so you actually have batteries. You turn it on. And as she sits. You can like step and play the keys and it plays little songs. So that's just a way to keep her entertained and again to make the potty fun.

Also to keep her sitting hopefully longer because she has something to entertain her. So that is another key as well. Having the inserts can be helpful so it's the right size. You might need a step up for safety or stability. You might have this kind of a step. Or might have a little potty seat. So notice this girl, she's in a very good position here because her knees are up in this seated position, which that actually really helps when it comes time for needing to poo on the potty because that puts your body in a good position.

So So think, you may have tried one or two of these things and you're like, uh, it didn't work, didn't help, they didn't like it, but there are so many different ways that you can adapt a seat. And again, just introducing it into the environment before training, that can be very powerful, because again, it becomes part of the environment, it becomes routine, and then when it's routine, it's okay, right?

It's not new anymore. So with that, I want to tell you a specific client story about adapting the seat. So I worked with a mom and her daughter recently, and she gave me permission to share this.  Her big goal was, I just want my daughter to do some sort of step towards potty training. She's like, if we can even just get her to sit.

On the toilet,  I will be happy. And so we really focused on reinforcing her just going into the bathroom and just sitting, but also diving in as to why, like why was sitting. a difficult thing for this child to do on the toilet. And the more that the mom talked to me, the more that I realized, I don't think it's about her not wanting to go to the bathroom.

I really think it's about her not feeling comfortable when she sits down. And so then we got into like, oh, she goes to the physio and she does have some struggles with her stability in her legs. And it's like, okay, that's, that's what we have to work on first. That comes before All these other things. And so we, we scoured the internet, we got on the Google and we started looking for ways that she could get up with stability to the seat, but also while she was sitting, that she would have a nice wide base to keep her feet on and feel safe and you know, like she wasn't going to wobble off and something with handrails.

So it wasn't necessarily this particular one, but it was something like that. I think even taller. And once she got that.  It was, it was kind of like the not sitting was a moot point, um, because she now felt safe and secure in her bathroom environment. So just thinking about those little things are actually really big things.

Okay. Moving right along. So this is what we're here for, right? Different methods to actually train. We've considered all of, all of our prerequisites. We've considered readiness. We've considered how we're going to prepare the environment. Now, how are we going to actually execute this? So I'm going to go through each of these as specifically and quickly as I can. 

The first one is a potty party. That's what we call it. That's not the,  that's not the official name. I don't think you're going to find any research articles saying potty party. I could be wrong. This is a more intense method and I've done several of these in the school setting because we do have several hours in a day.

And we, we were 1 on 1 with adults to kids in, in my particular situation, which was helpful, we could do this. And of course, with the parents permission and the parents being on board. and ready to carry out the potty party once the child got home as well. So a potty party looks like this. We literally dedicated, we planned two to three days at least to start all on working on toileting skills.

Okay, so we didn't worry about the child, you know, working on a lot of their schoolwork or their academics or programs or what have you. It was we are going to focus on toileting.  So we would have pretty much almost live in the bathroom for a few hours  a day, but we would take in there things that the child was interested in things that they could do so they weren't bored.

So what ideally what it would look like is we would have the child just sitting on the toilet comfortably.  And, you know, if they would allow it, they would be, you know, pants down and just sitting like they could go at any time. We would provide as much liquids as they would want. So water, juice, milk.

Because, obviously, once we drank enough, like, your bladder's gonna get full and you're gonna have to go. Okay, so the, and some of these kids, like, we couldn't, I couldn't just explain that to them. That wouldn't make sense. That would be too many words. So it just kind of had to show them what would happen.

So as they're sitting there, we play, they're sitting on the toilet, like, yay, bathroom's fun, bathroom's fun. All of a sudden, they start to go. And it's like, oh, there's a change, right? And as soon as you hear that start to go, it's like,  oh, you just went potty, look, you know, in the toilet, yay, good job.  And, and just really celebrating.

And that's why we call it a party. And that the child looks at you like, oh, I just did something good. Okay, that's it. And they start to make that connection of. I just had something leave my body and my teacher is really, really excited. And as a result, usually the child was very excited too. So that kind of started that light bulb moment of.

When I do this, it's a good thing and we'd reinforce by celebrating, but also letting the child get up and go out of the bathroom and move around for a few minutes. And then we'd go right back to the bathroom and do the whole process again. So it is intensive.  Obviously, if you have a child that does not want to stay in the bathroom and they are.

Freaking out and just uncomfortable, then that's probably not the method for you and that's okay, but it does teach them quickly. You just have to be very consistent and you're in the bathroom a lot. So every time they go, it's a celebration. You give them a break. You're right back to it as they're successful with that and they, you start to see that connection.

That they understand what they're doing, um, you can kind of build that time out of the bathroom to be a little bit longer and a little bit longer as you go. I do recommend using underwear again during this if you can, because you're so close to the bathroom  that, you know, it's usually not too big of a deal to have the, uh, the, sorry, to not have the nappy or the diaper on to protect the environment around you. 

Another thing I want to say about that too is. Some kids that are just aversive to the bathroom environment in general, it's okay to just think, how can I break this down and just make this one easy step? So I might have a potty chair outside of the bathroom.  And I might say, Hey, can you come sit here for a little bit and do the same process there?

And if they go in the potty chair and they're not in the bathroom, that's all right. They're still learning the process and you can slowly move that chair closer and closer until you're in the bathroom. Or even onto the toilet, right? So it might take days. It might take weeks for them to get to that point, but there's always some point that you can work towards for success.

If that makes sense. You just have to think it's not all or nothing. It's not like they have to go sit on that toilet and go. Or we're not doing this. No, really get creative and be open to, can we sit in a toilet that's in a different location in the house that's comfortable? Can we, are we okay with that?

Can we, can we work towards, you know, the ideal situation over time? And, and the answer is yes.  So secondly, you can, you can go on a schedule, so you might have a child that you know, okay, they hold it, they, they could probably go one hour in between.  So instead of doing that intense potty party, you just get a timer, like these visual timers over here, or you put them on a visual schedule, and you literally just say, okay, we're gonna go at 9 o'clock, 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock.

12 o'clock, et cetera, and you just make that bathroom time. And something I suggest for that is reserve those really special, exciting things that they like for just the bathroom. So, you know, if they have a favorite toy or iPad or something, temporarily make that association be, oh, when we go into the bathroom, that's when you get to access this.

Or after you go, that's when you get to access this. That way, It, they're not gonna just have their fill of iPad outside of the bathroom and then it's like, Oh, let's go in the bathroom and get your iPad. Well, I don't care because I've just had the iPad anyway. So just think about that too. These timers over here are great.

You can actually purchase them. A time timer is what this one is called and you physically just move it and what I like about it is for kids that don't understand The passing of time, that color that moves and goes away. They understand like, Oh, it's running out. That's shows the passing of time. They have apps for it too.

They can put on phones or iPads. I like this one cause it's got a little picture. So as time passes, more of the picture shows up, which is kind of fun. Gives kids something to anticipate. So when we see the rubber ducky, it's time to go in the bathroom and try. And so if they go great, you reinforce, you celebrate.

Let's say they try and they don't go. So maybe instead of going in another hour, you make that timer just be in 10, 15 minutes until they do go. Then you set the hour after successes, if that makes sense.  After those  things happen, then usually initiation is what you'd work on next. So a lot of times we want to see, Oh, you know, my child's not telling me they have to go.

So  they had an accident and it was a mess and you know, we're not having success. We, it's okay to, for your child not to be able to tell you or indicate that they have to go first. That is a communication thing. That's, that's. a timing thing. It's recognizing, I feel this. What does that mean? I have to tell someone or run to the bathroom.

It's several steps, right? That break down again. So  it's okay to practice the other stuff first and then work on the initiation afterwards. But again, I like to model everything from the beginning. So I might say to my daughter,  Oh, I feel something. I have to go to the bathroom. Let's go. And I go in and then do it just to show her that's a normal thing.

Um, or if you have the timer set for your child when it goes off, you can model that. Oh, I have to go to the bathroom. Let's go. And so they start to learn that that's just part of the process and part of the routine. Um, then bowel movements. Those who usually come after urination. So you may get all of the, the P's and everything good and well, but it's like, man, they just can't do pooping on the toilet.

And the reason for that, it can be a lot of things. Again, it's a whole nother sensory aspect. So a lot of times, you know, think about what that feels like when. You have a bowel movement and passing that versus, you know, just urinating on the toilet. It is a more intense process, it requires pushing, it requires, you know, some squeezing.

I'm just being real with you guys, because that's what it is. And, and then when that happens, it, it, for a lot of kids, they think, Oh my gosh, did I just lose a part of my body? Did something of mine just disappear? fall into the toilet and I lost it forever. So it's hard to understand kind of what's happening.

And so working on that  usually is secondary and can be a whole nother thing. I will kind of give this warning if you have a child who is constantly constipated. You might not be able to have that full potty training experience with bowel movements until that is sorted out. Because with constipation, they do, a lot of times, lose some of that control.

So I would always recommend checking with a doctor first and getting that stuff sorted before you try to really make a plan for this. Oh, and before I move on, kind of going back to the, uh, whoops.  Maybe I shouldn't go that far back, but the interoceptive system, so included in your resource packet is going to be a couple of documents that give some.

Methods to work on this awareness, including some exercises and actually Stacey shared those with me. Thank you. Stacey. I use them often with with parents, but it's actually like shows and has a written out explanation of exercises you can do with your child to help build awareness of those systems. So that's kind of cool too. 

Alright, going back.  Oops, went too far. Okay,  so I have another story for you. Okay, so talking about a potty party.  I had a little girl who we were waiting and waiting and waiting for her to go on the toilet and she had, she had so much to drink. Like, she was fine with drinking stuff, but she had had so much.

I was like, oh my goodness, her little bladder is not going to be able to hold anymore. She, she was sitting on the toilet with no problem, she just wasn't going. And I started to feel bad, and I'm like, you know, I really want to get her up and moving. But I could tell that she had like a mental block, because she had this look on her face where she was just like And I think that was her starting to feel that pressure on her bladder.

Like, uh oh, something feels different and it's really uncomfortable. So I sat there and I was encouraging her and I'm like, it's okay to feel that, let it go.  Let's relax. And I was like, really trying to work with her on relaxing. And she, she was like, okay, okay. And then she just stared for a moment and all of a sudden she just released it.

And as soon as that first release comes, boom, she just goes a ton. Right. And she was kind of like, And I'm like, you let it go, there it is in the potty. And then she looked at me and was so excited because she realized, one, I survived this feeling and I got through it. And two, I did what I was supposed to do.

Yay, this is exciting. And so it was really special to work through that with her and to see her. have that lightbulb moment when she finally went for the first time. And after that, there was no struggle or hesitation to let it out anymore. It was just getting over that first hump and knowing I'm okay when this happens.

Okay, visuals to support the whole process. So, I always am an advocate for visual schedules in everything. I mean, we all use calendars, diaries, lists, things that, that guide our day and let us know what we're supposed to be doing. So why would we expect any different for our kids, especially when they have, you know, less Language and communication than us as adults.

So creating those schedules to show them when potty time is going to happen in the day and to make it a part of that or we'll all go into some more specific visuals here in a minute, but just using those and having those posted in the bathroom or around the house can be really helpful. Social stories.

So these are those mini, mini stories that with pictures and visuals at your child's level that just sort of prepares them for what they're supposed to do. I have a lot of good ones. I didn't share, I couldn't really share them in the resources because they're not my resources to share. If you go and you Google free social stories, or, you know, I like to use the site Teachers Pay Teachers as well.

Sometimes they have free ones, sometimes they cost a couple dollars. But. They, they're just printables that tell steps of toileting and what's expected. And so it becomes a norm. And you can read those when you're not going to the bathroom, when it's not toileting time, just read it for fun and connect with your child. 

through those so they know what to expect. I already talked about timers, but having those visually available and not just on your phone, because a lot of times parents will be like, Oh, I use the timer on my phone, you know, that's fine, but it's not for some kids. It's not enough because they can't really see the passing of time.

They don't really understand that are, might still be a surprise to them when it goes off video models or modeling in person. And so. Modeling for them would be obviously, hey, here's what we do, but video models can also show parts of the process. So for toileting, it's hard because you can't just.  For privacy purposes, necessarily record or watch someone going, but you could record parts of it, and I actually have an example of one coming up.

And overall, just have a lot of fun stuff available. Again, those associations with the bathroom where it's like, I want to go in there because my cool stuff's in there, or there's a cool basket of, you know, toys and poppets and, you know, sensory activities that I really love, and I only get to do those when I'm sitting on the toilet.

So just make it fun. And take some of that stress away.  Okay, so here's some examples of visually, uh, preparing the environment. So, this little example visual of, um, a schedule is from autismlittlelearners. com. So again, I couldn't share it with you, but you can go there yourself, um, to get the resource. So, this just shows the girl pants down, underwear down, sit on toilet, pee in toilet, or poop in toilet.

Get toilet paper, wipe, underwear up, pants up, wash hands. And they have a boy version as well. So, as the child does it, you can be pointing to a step, or you might get a little clip, and move the clip as they go. Might even put their little face on it, they like that.  I have made flip cards, because sometimes looking at multiple pictures on a schedule can even be overwhelming for a child, because they're like, I don't know where to look.

So I have literally just printed something and then cut each one out and put it on like a ring and you can just show one step at a time. That can be really helpful too. This is one I made for a child in the middle there. Mom say toilet. Hold it, go to the bathroom, pull pants down, go potty. So it didn't have all the individual steps.

His issue was initiation. So that's why we focused on that. Now, this is a video model sample that I have used, and hopefully you guys can hear it. I know it's awkward, but it's literally just someone going. Okay. It's only a minute long. I have used that so many times to let kids hear what it sounds like, because so often they are like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

And I'm like, let me show you.  This is what I want you to do. I want you to put that in the toilet and they hear it. And then a lot of times that does really help with their understanding.  I will tell you if, if you, if you get on YouTube and start searching pee in the toilet, you're going to get a lot of stuff, but this one is an ASMR one.

And again, it's one minute. And if you have the slides, you can kind of see where that comes from. Okay. And our last section is how to stay motivated. And this is going to continue to use visuals to keep things going.  So reinforcement, very, very key. I will say, if you have the app, I do have a toileting course.

It's going to have a lot of the same information on it, but I also have a reinforcement course that really goes into why and how reinforcement helps. Change behaviors and teaching a toileting skill. That is a new behavior. So when we say behavior change, it's not just like, oh, I throw things. And now I'm not throwing things anymore.

It's literally just I'm changing from not knowing how to go to the bathroom to knowing the skills. So using reinforcement to drive this learning drive. This motivation is. A key factor. So you might use sticker charts, where you, every time you go, you get a sticker, right? Then once you get five stickers, we get a lolly, or we're gonna go visit your, visit McDonald's and have, you know, a special meal, or, uh, something like that.

And, and some kids, sticker charts don't interest them. Sometimes the, just the sticker themself is, it, itself is great, along with your praise. So you just have to know your child and, and kind of know whether. That immediate reinforcement is needed every single time they go. So, like, you get something fun after every time you go, or can they go two or three times before they yield, like, a larger reward? 

If you jump to the latter too fast, they might lose motivation, so just be aware of that. Um, token systems are another way, so there's an example here. It's very similar to a reward chart, but it's, it's a little more specific. So, I'm working for the Whatever. So maybe I want to have, I want to watch an episode of bluey when I earned my tokens.

Okay. So, you know, you went in the morning or maybe you just sat and that's our goal. You sat, you get a token. Awesome. And then an hour later you sat again. Good job. And then another hour you sat. Awesome. Maybe they never went, but that's okay. Cause you're working on sitting. You sat three times without having, you know, without resisting.

You get to watch your episode of Bluey now, and then you can start it over. First Then boards. This one's from Autism Little Learners, but we do have one also, Autism 360, that's blank, that you can, that you can Fill in, but it's just showing them like first potty, then reward, or first walk to bathroom, then go.

It just shows like two simple steps, what's coming first and next. And then finally, let the reward match the effort. So, as your child starts to understand those skills, you want to start making it a little bit harder for them to get that desired reward. So, I'm not, let's say that a lolly is very, very easy.

Reinforcing, right? So when I'm first starting potty training, I might let the child have a lolly or just lick the lolly every time they go. Okay, but once they start going regularly, it kind of doesn't make sense to have to give them, you know, access to the lolly every time. So then I'm going to start kind of thinking like the sticker chart.

Okay, how every time you poop on the potty, you get the lolly or every three times you go on the potty, you get the lolly. So just think about how as things get more effortless for them. That's great. But move that reward to match.  Okay, another story, I know we're, we're getting close to question time, and I'm, I will be mindful of that, but I had a kiddo once who, we really wanted to work with him on the bowel movement.

So he, we got the regular potty training down pat. We were struggling with the bowel movement. So he, what we did first was we started to take some, some data on when he was going. So he, he kind of has certain time of day, and a lot of times kids do. Where they will have their bowel movement. So when we knew it was around that time, we always had him go and try five to 10 minutes before that.

So we could try to catch it. Sometimes we did, sometimes we didn't, but a lot of times we, we did, or we got close. He really wanted to work to play cars, video games. Really, he was just watching a YouTube video and he thought he was playing it, but that was, that was totally fun for him. So at first. Every time he tried to go and he would stay on the potty to, to try and push, he would get access to like two minutes of this game, but then he, then he started in just little successes where he'd go just a little bit.

And we, so then I was no longer going to give him the two minute video for just trying. I was now going to move the two minute video to. Actually having something come out in the toilet, then he started going more and more. So we, we moved that to, okay, now you have to go a big one in order to get your video, or we would, and then we moved to stickers, I think, to where it was like.

I think finally a whole week of bowel movements. And then Friday he'd get the video for 10 minutes and that was all he needed. So see how we worked from a really frequent reinforcement schedule to a whole week goes by and then you get it. And he was totally fine with that, but he was doing better.