⏺️🎙️ Stimming, Skipping, and Flapping with Joy

This workshop, hosted by Stacy Badon, will focus on understanding the relationship between stimming and self-regulation. Parents often ask, “How do I stop the stimming?” Tune in, to hear Stacy’s answer!

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Transcript

So we're going to talk a little bit about that stimming thing and that self regulation,  we are going to address stimming and self regulation, they're and we're going to be together in terms of, I'm going to talk about that goal that everyone has around self regulation, but all of you participating live, or if you're watching the replay, you will gain an understanding of the relationship between stimming and self regulation.

And the reason I wanted to do this  workshop is because I often get asked by parents, how do I stop my child from stimming? Or my child's stimming more than they used to stim. They didn't use to stim that much, right? What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? And my response is, number one, you don't stop it unless it's harmful to themself or others.

And if they're stimming more, that is a really good sign that they know how to self regulate. It's not about, oh my gosh, I'm in distress, I'm stimming more. It's I need to use my strategy of stimming in order to self regulate in this environment.  So what can stimming look like? It can look like a lot of different things, right?

Everyone has their own unique stim. We have some stims that are very, for lack of a better term stereotypical, right? The hand flapping and most of us are familiar with hand flapping because There is that thing we used to say that we don't say anymore, which is quiet hands. First of all, quiet hands.

I don't know what that means. Secondly, we don't want to take away the ability for kids to move their bodies in order to regulate. So stimming can look like hand flapping, finger flicking, rocking, jumping, spinning, twirling. Complex body movements that you can't figure out how they were able to do that.

And all of these things are typically things that annoy others in the environment distract teachers sometimes distract students. Most of the time, the students are  pretty easy going until adults make a ruckus out of it. But in general stimming can be different, right?  It usually includes something that's repetitive, whether it's a fidget, flicking a rubber band.

Some kids have a couple of my students have tappers. One has a tapper that's a plastic bottle and he taps the whole time. I just filter it out and then I have another tapper with a piece of plastic and so it's not as loud, but that is their repetitive stim and they stim the entire time they are learning, listening, and completing a task.

Because that's how they regulate. So I have to adjust and I have to figure out ways to regulate myself so that they are able to have access to things that help them to regulate, so that we can have a successful  teaching experience and learning experience. All right, so before I get into the nitty gritty, I want to talk about the elephant in the room.

And I'm really proud of this really silly, simple photo, but it is the elephant in the room when we talk about stimming in terms of those of us that are on the sort of train of accepting neurodiversity and embracing different, are like, let them stim, we know they need to stim, we understand that stimming is something we Don't take away.

We may not understand the need for stimming. And we'll talk about that in the workshop. But it is one of those things that some of us are like, it's no big deal. And others are like, Oh, we need to stop that. So let's talk about that because it's the reality of,  I don't want to call it a battle, but there's this, acceptance inclusion, but then wanting autistic individuals to not appear autistic, right?

We're going to include you, but you have to act like you're not autistic. And so that. doesn't really work. We get difficulties because of that. So what I'd love for all of you to do, this is a safe space. I know sometimes we are, sometimes we feel a little embarrassment about either our own personal stim or our children's stim.

But I would love if you all could think about a stim behavior that you or your child engages in that you want to stop. And then I want you to tell me why you want it to stop. And this is, like I said, it's a safe space. You can think about it. And this is not about it's a safe space. We're not about judgment.

It's not about don't do that. It's how can I help you to understand why they need to do that, but also how can I help you so that it's not so frustrating? So think about that. Pop it in the chat when it comes to you and I will go back to that. And I do apologize. I am going to pause and I apologize, Sarah, you're going to have to edit this out, but I'm realizing that I did not plug in and I need to plug in.

So I don't lose you. I do apologize.  Yep. Oh, good. No worries. That'll give you time to think of your stim and your rationale.  So write something down

and it's okay if the stim that you want to stop is small or big or just in general. Oh my gosh.  Annoying.  I will actually start and thank you for your patience. I do.  Appreciate you waiting for me to do that small technical thing. I will say that I have a student who can get into a verbal stim that and I'm very patient.

I can filter a lot. That verbal stim, it's oh my gosh, like it's persistent. It's long. It's, we have to go through the whole movie and I understand why they need to do that, but it is something that I have to work very hard on in terms of.  Accepting, allowing, but also balancing so that we can get some things completed.

And then think about why they need to stim at this time and what I need to change. So even though I'm all accepting, there are some stims that can like, make me have to go deep into my patients zone repeating the same questions, even when they've already answered. Oh, I love these. I love these.

And I will say repeating the same question. That's one of my favorites. I will tell you a way to, it's not so much that we want to stop the stimming. So the repeating the same question, repeating the same question, is the checking, right? So it's like this loop stim where if They know the answer.

They know what time they're leaving. They know they're going there next. Use a visual. So if you answer a question, have them write it down. Have them type it. You put it on something and post it. And if they come to you the second time, Point to the visual. If they come to you another time, point to the visual, and then they're going to  not come to you because they will just go to the visual.

Typically that can help. I don't know if that's necessarily always a stim for self regulation, but it is something that is this weird stim of I need assurance. Remember words? Poof! Disappear. When we answer verbally? They get it, but it's not there. It's like when you are going somewhere and someone says we are the second house on the corner, right?

And you're like, okay, is my second, their second, like who's second, what corner? So then they give you more visual support, which is we have a blue house. And the door is red. And you will see a white car in the driveway. So that visual helps you to find it a little bit easier. So that you're not really anxious.

And hopefully that makes a little bit sense. All right. That autistic clapping. I know it so well. I hear it in restaurants. And I'm like, I hear autism.  It is very beautiful. Disruptive not only to those around the kiddo who's doing the loud clap or the shriek scream, but it is also a lot of times very dysregulating for the autistic individual because they're just seeking, and they're not able to find what they need to regulate.

So there are some things that you can do to help with that and give them that same input. And it is.  involving drums or, oh my gosh, what are those, when people are boxers and they have those boxing things, they have some of those things where you can punch, but you want something that they can slap so that they can get that loud sound.

But there's also some other strategies, and I'll make sure that I put a note to add that to the questions. All right, thank you all for participating.  And the next slide.  All right, so the elephant in the room is stimming looks weird, right? It makes people uncomfortable. It makes parents uncomfortable.

Teachers are just annoyed in general because sometimes they just are. It doesn't fit the mold of what they think.  The classroom environment should be like. So the elephant in the room is, yes, we accept stimming. Yes, we understand it's a need, but, oh, it looks so weird, right? I don't want my child to look weird.

I don't want my child to look different. We can have all kinds of wants, right? I want my child to have curly hair. I want my child to have straight hair. I want my child to excel in football, right?  We have to understand that if we  learn to accept the different, then we normalize the weird, if that makes sense.

So if, for example, in my environment, With my classmates, my students or my colleagues who are autistic, stimming is the norm for my environment. So for me, it's not so weird because it's just the norm. It's become my norm in environments that I go into.  So thinking in terms of,  we have to figure out ways to move past the, it's uncomfortable, it's weird.

And a lot of times it's just because sometimes I don't understand.  Parents will often ask, I don't understand why they have to keep scripting that movie over and over again.  Sometimes we don't understand. I don't understand why someone has to mix ketchup with mayonnaise in order for their french fries to taste good.

Not my cup of tea, but that's their thing. That's their thing. So it looks weird. We all know that it looks different. We all know that. And some people have embarrassment tolerances that are different than others.  But we have to remember it is purposeful. It is purposeful. It is purposeful. So looking different in public or with friends, family, the classroom.

When you don't get to stimand you don't get to self regulate, you're going to have a meltdown or you're going to elope or you're not going to complete the tasks. And guess what?  It looks a little different and it looks different on a level of meltdown chaos behaviors.  So it doesn't really  fulfill the wishes of, I don't want my child to stim because I don't want them to look different.

They're going to look different because they're going to be struggling because they can't self regulate. So keeping in mind to help you shift towards thinking and accepting, It's purposeful. It's purposeful. The other part is understanding that it is purposeful, and now that we know better, because we have the benefit of autistic individuals telling us, then we should do better, right?

And that means working on ourselves to accept, working on ourselves to decide how we're going to balance that out in terms of maybe a child's stim is not working for the parent's sensory needs. So we have to work through that, right? We have to figure out the balance. Or another sibling as well. That happens often and we will address that later in the workshop. 

So now that we know stiming is purposeful, now that we are understanding and getting more information about why autistic individuals stim, we know better and we're going to do better. And doing better means educating and advocating. Educate yourself. Watch your child to see the why. When we watch and observe and not intervene, you'd be amazed at what you can figure out they're actually doing.

The why behind it, right? The understanding. So when you educate yourself, you advocate what you're doing is demonstrating those things to your child because they're whether your child is 3, 10, 12, 21. Whether it's your spouse that's autistic, whether you are the person that is autistic, educating and advocating everyone's watching, and they're learning from you.

So it's important for us to do that because that's the only way to make our environments more inclusive. It's the only way to get Your autistic family member loved one in, in, in a society, in a community that they can navigate. We have to educate and advocate and then we can move towards non autistic individuals accommodating and adjusting for the autistic individual.

What does that accommodation and adjustment look like? My parents who have kiddos that need to verbally stim while they do their homework, on their own, they just need to verbally stim, those parents just wear earplugs. They wear earplugs because they can't tolerate it, but their child needs to stim in order to focus and self regulate.

So we have to decide what we're going to do to accommodate and adjust for the autistic individual. And those of you who have heard me speak before, this is always my mantra. It is not the responsibility of the person with the disability to make all of the adjustments. And if someone has a hearing impairment on their left side, ear, and I use this example all the time.

Then what do they say? Oh, I don't hear very well out of this ear. So how do we adjust? We move and we talk to them on this side.  We should do the same for our autistic individuals who need to stim because stimming is self regulating, right?  All right,  let's talk about functions of stimming. Because stimming has lots of different functions.

And I put a little meme here because I love the penguin character and the way she described the types of stimming. It can be visual, it can be auditory, it can be vocal, it can be vestibular, tactile, taste, so many ways to stim. And I'll give a couple of examples for those that don't.

You may or may not have seen in terms of visual stims. So some kiddos visually stim, that's why they want to sit in a certain place in the car or the bus, because the stim is the visual of things going by, right? That's the visual stim. I've had kids that visually stim watching a leaf. And on a tree out the window and they're watching that and some kids visually stim watching patterns of lights or people that are passing by lots of ways that individuals can visually stim auditory stimming.

A lot of us are familiar with that. It's either a verbal stim or that's the vocal, but the auditory is the rewind, repeat, rewind, repeat, rewind, repeat. And we're like, oh my gosh, I can't listen to that anymore. My solution for that is this. The quickest solution is the child wears headphones, right? Or earphones.

Some kids, that's not their cup of tea. But I always say, please explore different kinds of headphones. Now they make these bands, like a sports band that have headphones for kids to be comfortable. So looking for alternatives, not just going to that one noise canceling headphone and, Oh, my kid doesn't want to wear it.

You can over time eventually teach them that it's okay for you, we're fine with you doing that auditory stim, but we also have to balance that you're in the room with other people. The other thing for kiddos who are maybe old enough, if they need to do that kind of auditory stim where they repeat, rewind, repeat, rewind, then have a place for them to do that.

A tent in the corner, have some kids can go just in a cardboard box and they're fine. And it muffles the sound for the rest of us. Because we all know if we take it away, they're going to seek it, they're going to find it, or they're going to melt down. One or the other.  Vocal stims we're all familiar with.

Those vestibular stims could be like the rocking, the jumping, the bouncing, waving hands all of those things. Tactile. is that rubbing on something, right? Rubbing on something, whether it's someone else, a piece of cloth, having a fidget in their hand.

Those are types of stims and the taste and smell where kids will seek out certain foods because it's very sensory regulating to have something that's either very tart or very sweet or very crunchy, right? Or some kids like to smell things. It just depends. So let's talk about the functions of all of those different ways that you can stem. 

The function of stimming can be soothing or stimulating. So the soothing or stimulating is like organizing their system or alerting their system. So for example the kiddo that I said has the piece of plastic in his hand. That is the way he keeps himself focused and alerted. He has this stim.

That's his way of stimulating so that he can stay focused and alerted. And then there is another kiddo that I know that has a pillow with these like fluffy thingies, tendrils or something. And when they're watching television with the family in order to maintain the environment of being in the room with everyone else and Maybe not watching their favorite movie.

They have a way to soothe themselves with this pillow that they continuously get tactile input from. So those are examples and you can probably think of the person that you know who's autistic or yourself and how you may have a stim that you particularly use for soothing or stimulation for alertness and organization of the sensory system. 

The other function of stimming is expressing emotions and communication. So a lot of times you will see there's a really typical standard stim where kids get really excited and their fists get really tense and they do this really good thing and they're really excited and usually it's maybe their favorite part of the movie or their favorite therapist walked in the room or their friend is back at school and so they show that excitement and emotion with that stim.

Right? That's a function of stimming. And think of it, if you think of a time where you're very excited, right? And you're like, Oh my gosh, I'm going to see my best friend. And we're going to blah, blah, blah. And all these things that's in your head. When you finally see them, you're so excited. If you're autistic and you're really excited, your sensory system's here.

So what do you need to do? Soothe and organize, right? So then you're going to do something, right? It might be rocking while you're talking to them, or maybe you're going to do something where you're jumping up and down because you're excited and alerted, but you're Also needing to balance and organize yourself, and that's the one that can be really tricky for parents in terms of when I let them stem, they get really upset and frustrated when they stem for a long time  because they haven't found the balance.

And that is where knowing their sensory profile and understanding their sensory needs, where you can fill in those activities throughout the day, where you can manage where it doesn't get to that point, because that can be tricky for some kids.  The other.  Function of stimming is processing information, taking in information storing information, and recalling information.

So if you look at those four things, process, store, take in, recall,  all of those are required for what? back and forth communication.  So when a child is talking to you and they say at school today and you say hands down,  they can no longer talk. They can no longer communicate. You've taken away their function of stimming to organize so they can stay in the environment, process information, recall information from the day, store the information that you give them when you tell them to go put their backpack away, take in information and directions.

When they're doing this, when they're stimming, when they're moving and rocking, what are we going to do? Allow them.  Give them access. Because then they're able to process information, store information, take in the information, and recall, which is back and forth communication. And that communication is not always necessarily verbal, right?

It can be with an AAC device, it can be non verbal, it can be just taking in a direction. Okay.  But if they're not allowed.  to stim. If it's taken away, if they're stopped,  then we cannot expect them to follow through with the things we want them to do or that they need to do, like brush their teeth, put their backpack away, whatever it is.

So stimming has a purpose. It has a function. Yes. Just say it out loud. Oh, it looks really weird. Okay. So it looks weird.  It looks weird. People who have one arm looks a little different, but they have one arm. Be open about it. Just say it This is what we do, right? And I'm saying that because,  and those of you who have heard me before, you know how I feel about, I remember when other disabilities were looked and frowned upon.

And now we embrace individuals with Down syndrome. We have sign language immersed in every environment. We need to do the same for autistic individuals. If not, we're never going to have inclusive environments. And it starts with caregivers, parents, teachers, therapists, understanding that stimming is a form of self regulation, allowing kids to stim when they need to stim, giving them access to what they need to stim with, so that they can be organized, communicate, express emotions, process, store, take in, and recall.

If we stop the stimming, it's hard for them to do all that, and then they're punished for not following through. Or, we have a meltdown, which is never fun.  Alright, so a quick recap about Stimming.  Stimming is repetitive movements, vocalizations that have a variety of functions that we just talked about.

Self expression, serving to soothe and affect, and sometimes just expression of joy.  Stimming is also known as self stimulating behaviors, but I caution that terminology because some people misinterpret that as they need stimulation, so then they like give them a lot of stuff. It's oh, maybe that's not what they need, right?

It's really the stimulation. It could be for organizing. It could be for soothing. It could be for alerting. So it's input is really what it is. You're gathering yourself. You're gathering input. When kids are rocking, they're gathering vestibular input. They're taking that in so they can process their environment and they can have a conversation.

I have wonderful autistic. She's now an adult, but she was a teen when I met her and she loved to talk about boys and she loved to play the drums. And when she would talk, she would get really excited. And so she would stem the whole time she would rock and stem, but she could communicate when her hands were down. 

She wasn't able to access her words, organize her thoughts so that she could output what she wanted to say. She knew what she wanted to say. So she stimmed, and it was a beautiful thing because her parents never stopped her. No one in her environment ever stopped her. And she now is in college because she just graduated in the spring, and she is in a band and living her autistic life with support.

So stimming also has a common effect, a calming effect on the nervous system. And everybody fidgets or stims to some extent. It's just a different sort of need for autistic individuals because their neurological sensory system takes in way more information than non autistic individuals.  stimming is also essential for people with autism.

They should be able to stem freely. And it is Self regulating, I repeat, self regulating. And I want to touch on that a little bit in terms of, I see all the time a goal on an IEP or an occupational therapy goal or communication, I'm sorry, education goal where I want the child to self regulate. 

And what they're actually saying is I want them to sit, be quiet and be still. That's what they think self regulating is.  I want them to be quiet and sit still. Because that is what self regulation is. That is not what self regulation is. Self regulation is deciding and choosing yourself what you need in order to regulate your sensory system and accessing that if possible. 

Simple example, if I am in a room And I am cold because of the temperature, I am going to self regulate by going to get a jacket or rubbing my arms so that I can regulate my sensory system to pay attention to the speaker.  That is what self regulation looks like. Self regulation is not they're sitting still and they're calm.

That's not self regulation. Self regulation is actually seeking out what you need in order to regulate.  All right. So I'm going to let a couple of autistic individuals. Tell you a little bit about stimming and self regulation and we'll talk a little bit more about that.  And I'm hoping this link works.  We shall see

if you all can't see the video. Just someone  say something.

Okay, so I'm going to pause just for a second and ask if everyone can see the video.  Yeah, or if I'm sorry if you can't. I apologize. Okay, so this is Chris. Some of you may or may not have seen this video, but I think it is one of the most insightful videos in terms of understanding the necessity for stimming and the necessity for stimming in order to communicate.

And I'm going to preference this video with Chris is the autistic individual that someone would look at and think he does not know or understand. He doesn't know how to communicate anything because of his movements that he needs. So when you listen to what he has to say, I want you to think about. How we look at autistic individuals when they need to stim and move their body and how we perceive them as possibly not understanding or not being present, and they really are.

And I'm going to stop talking and let the video talk.  This is Chris.  And this is Chris stimming, skimming is self stimulating movements or noises that are usually repetitive or unusual.  We wanted to learn more about these sims, how they feel for Chris and why he does them.  Oh, we asked him some questions.

Chris doesn't use words to communicate. He communicates using this board.  We ask Chris, why do you stem? Chris communicated. I STEM because I need to regulate my disordered sensory system.  We asked, why do you like to have your hands over your ears? Chris communicated, it reduces environmental overload and sound becomes a lot softer. 

When appearing very sensitive with hands over ears, we asked if he could describe what it felt like.  Chris communicated, sensory system needs my attention. This took a long time to spell as Chris was a bit reluctant to take his hands away from ear.  After Chris finished bouncing up and down across the room, and suddenly switching to a very still moment, we said, It looks like you're in a great mood.

Chris communicated, Yes?  Feeling really? Chris then tipped over a table and ran out of the room laughing. He came back and communicated, Happy, but on edge.  We asked Chris, What do you want people to know about you when you're having a day like this, where you need to jump around and then be still and so on?

Chris communicated. Sensory system controls all movements. When I'm like this, it's hard to do anything useful.  Seeing the struggles is crazy. I can only imagine how I look.  Chris then added at the end,  We are autistic.  Not weird.

Now, I kind of embrace weirdness,  however, what I love about this video is Chris has insight and knows what he needs to self regulate. He said, I'm happy, but I'm on edge, right? There's a lot of stuff going on. You're asking me questions. I need to respond. I'm trying to stay regulated. I don't want any sounds to disrupt my sensory system.

So he's trying to keep his sensory system safe.  But he's able to let us know. He knows what he needs, just like our kids know exactly what they need. We just don't always want them to do it at the time they're doing it, but they know what they need to self regulate. We just have to accept and allow and give them access, of course.

All right, I have one more that I want you to watch  and hopefully this works.

All right,  I'm

okay. I'm going to turn off the music and just let the video and then I'll read it out so that everyone can see it because the music's a little annoying. This is of course an autistic individual and she's asking, did you ever hide your stems? Keep in mind that autistic folks are processing way more information and details than neurotypical folks.

Maybe we are masters at self regulating, all things considered, but she was told, you're a baby, don't suck on your fingers. She was told, stop stimming. Stop. It's inappropriate. It looks weird. Stop. But she needed to do that to regulate. So she's saying,  just because my stimming looks different,  that doesn't mean I don't know how to self regulate. 

Self regulation does not have to be taught. We just have to accept this is what they need. I'm not saying every day. That's easy. I understand. Sometimes it is. Oh, my gosh, I can't take that anymore. My nephew is neurodivergent and his son is neurodivergent. I had a space for him to go to because I knew that he needed it.

I couldn't really tolerate it at the time. So we had a space for him to do that. So it's thinking and planning and making it accessible and understanding that it is a necessity. So when we talk about self regulation, the triggers, Chris knows the triggers. So he's covering and keeping his auditory safe.

Lauren is aware now that she's an adult, late diagnosed, that what she was doing was self regulating, but she was told, not good. And what that does is, it internalizes not to trust your own body. And that's not what we want to teach our kids. We want them to trust their instincts. We want them to seek out what they need if it's safe.

I'm not talking about unsafe stems, and we want to make sure that it's accessible. So if they need to spin in the classroom or at home, make a space accessible for spinning, put visuals to help them know the boundaries, use colored tape. That's what I use in my classroom. This area is for pacing, inside the yellow tape.

This area is for spinning, inside the green tape. Everybody had a space to move their body so that they could self regulate. When kiddos understand their trigger, when they have access, which is their hands, right? That's why they stim with their body. They have access to it. Then they choose what is going to work for them. 

Chris and Lauren both chose what would work for them. They probably won't. We know Lauren was told don't do that, but I'm sure Chris has had his moments where he was told to stop. So we have to understand it has a purpose.  All right, I wanted to put this up because  vocal stems are typically the stems that  disrupt the environment for everyone else the most, right?

Flapping hands may look weird and people are annoyed, but it doesn't really disrupt anything. So vocal stems have a lot of purposes, right? It's communicating, it's sharing. A lot of kids vocally stem and they're actually telling us something, but we have to know What movie is that from? What does that mean?

Did I watch the movie to see what was going on in the scene so that I could pull from it and understand that script? It takes a little bit of work, right?  The irony is a lot of kids who vocal stim don't want anybody else to make noise. They don't want anyone else to make noise.  But they use their vocal stems just to tune out the other stuff, right?

It's like singing to yourself when you're overwhelmed. Just to block out everything else that's going on. But also vocal stems can give vibration.  Vocal stems especially when it's a repetition is a, it's almost like rocking, right? If you think of rocking it's that rhythmic motion when you're doing like, Oh,  that's a rhythmic breathing.

That's a rhythmic stem. Yes. It's bothering everyone else. So we have to work around it and figure out how to balance it. But I wanted you to know that it has a legitimate.  It has a self regulating component. It can be communication, and we just have to find a way to balance it because it does not go like you can't duct tape children's mouths. 

You are not. to take away their AAC device if they keep stimming with it. That is not what we are supposed to do. They should have access to their communication device. If they are stimming with it, then we need to figure out what do we need to do to help them get that regulation maybe in a different way if that's not working for the environment.

And hopefully that makes sense.  I just love this meme. This, these are things that I'm putting up that were made by actual autistic individuals, and I think it's important to listen to, to hear, and to get insight. And this person talks about the three different types of stimming, and I'm just going to read their examples.

This individual says, Sometimes I have so much positive energy and I feel so So many happy emotions that I cannot contain them and I express them through happy stimming. So sometimes parents will say things like, my child just starts laughing in the corner and jumping up and down. They're just having a happy memory.

They're excited about something. Who knows what it is, right? We all have memories that pop in our head. So it looks a little spontaneously weird at times. Cause you're like, where did that come from?  They just, Think of something that makes them really happy or they're in an experience. That's really happy.

One of my students called it I think he called imaginings when I, when he said sometimes he would just start laughing and I would say, what is so funny? Can you share? And he would say, I'm having imaginings and that is something popped in his head based on maybe a number we were working on or a word.

And then he just had to get out that  stem that he would do with his laughter. So there's a purpose, there's a purpose. Alright, the person also says that stimming helps them to regulate sensory input and emotional overload or overwhelming emotions. It can feel like I have this loaded negative energy in me that tightens my chest and makes me spiral.

Stimming helps to dissipate that. So listen to that message. Stimming, rocking, bouncing helps to get rid of the negative energy. If we stop it, what happens? Fester, meltdown fester, meltdown, sensory overload, meltdown.  We just have to allow it. Because what do they know? What they need. How do they self regulate it?

By accessing the things they know they need. They already know how to self regulate. Advocating for self regulation is different than actually self regulating. Advocating is something different, and maybe I will add something extra to the folder on, on that. But that's not necessarily the focus of this workshop, but they know what they need and they will seek it, access it by any means necessary. 

This person finishes with most times stimming is a form for me to ground myself and help myself focus on a task at the present moment. Tapping twirling hair, moving your foot, that helps you stay focused in the meeting, focused in class, focused in therapy, allow them to do what they need to do.

Telling kids to sit still does not help.  Telling kids to stop moving does not help. Allowing them to move, you'd be amazed at what they can get done when they're self regulating. Steps to self regulation, knowing my trigger, what do I need? What is accessible and which do I choose? They know what their triggers are.

We sometimes know, sometimes it's a mystery. They know. Covering their ears before they go in. So when the teacher says, put your hands down, we walk down the hall with our hands down. What do we have?  An autistic kiddo who's very dysregulated, trying to walk in the hallway where there's a lot of sensory overload.

What do we have? Behaviors. What do we have? Usually consequences. Why? Because we didn't allow them to  access and choose what works for them. They know their trigger. Spontaneous sounds that disrupt their sensory system and cause neurological pain. What do I need? I need a sensory safe auditory environment.

What is accessible? My hands. What do I choose? To cover my hands.  We cannot say, stop protecting yourself. Just allow it. Just allow it.  Acceptance leads to more inclusive environments. We, as caregivers, therapists, parents, we have to embrace stimming. We have to be the models for those in our society and community that are not familiar with autism, because our children are going to grow up and go out into the world and they need to have inclusive environments that are accepting, like all of the other disabilities.

We have wheelchair ramps everywhere, sign language everywhere, braille in most public places.  We just have to embrace the STEM. It's not just about moving the hands or body. It's how autistic individuals process the world. That's it.  All right. Had a few questions and then I'll open up for you guys to ask questions.

These are common questions that I get in terms of how do I deal with verbal stimming. I talked a little bit about that throughout the workshop, but it really is managing a space where they can do that, giving them time to do that. One of my kids actually had verbal stimming on his schedule and he would go into the tent and he would verbally stim this.

YouTube video over and over again, but we didn't have to hear it, right? They got what they needed and we didn't have to hear it. So it worked out. So you got to get creative when it comes to verbal stimming. Wear earplugs. If you can't take it at home, what does it mean when my child stims all the time?

It means your child is simply self regulating. And it may mean that right now a lot of things are going on and they need to regulate more. It's nothing to necessarily get alarmed about unless you see that they're really not able to do it. Chris said in the video, when I'm like this, when I have days like this, I can't, right?

So if they're having lots and lots of days like this in school or in the therapy setting, then we need to look at the school environment and we need to look at the therapy environment or the therapist. Because, if children have more unregulated, dysregulated days in an environment, we need to look at what we need to do to change that environment. 

How do I handle more than one neurodivergent person at my household and their stims conflict with the sensory processing system of me, right? And I see the typo now, even though I checked. However, lots of parents complain about my child needs to stim. I'm autistic. Oh my gosh, our stims conflict. I have four autistic children, two autistic children.

Their stims bother one another, right? I work with a set of twin girls and one of them loves to verbally stim through singing. The other one hates. To hear anyone singing. So it's a constant stop singing. I need to sing, stop singing back and forth. They now have spaces, right? One has headphones.

The other has a space.  We had to work it out. So you have to know the sensory profile of each neurodivergent individual in the household, and you have to balance and figure out where things can be done, where and when, and how you're going to manage to balance just like we do with our families with anything.

Just takes a little bit more information to balance that. I like to do sensory profiles for the entire family when everyone's neurodivergent and I make a chart so that everyone sees where they are, what boxes they are, what commonalities they have, and then we work out a plan. And it's a beautiful thing when everyone's able to self regulate without dysregulating another person in the household. 

All right, so I'm going to open for any burning questions and anyone has, and I want to say a warm thank you to everyone, please access the app, you can watch the replay, but also the app has other resources. And courses that will collaborate very well with this information on stimming and self-regulation.

There's a course on sensory processing. I highly recommend you go to the app and watch the course on the autistic perspective because it really does give you much more insight to understanding why stimming is self-regulating and why we need to accept. allow, provide access so that we can create inclusive environments for our kiddos.

And I'm going to stop sharing the PowerPoint.  and answer any questions. Sarah, if you can guide me just in case, I don't want to miss anything  with questions. Sure. We have one question. What do I do if my child doesn't have a safe space at school to stim? It depends on what their stimming is.

So if their stimming is a stim that can be disruptive, because that's the reality. Some stims are disruptive. I'm not going to sugarcoat it and make it seem like, oh, we're all just one happy stimming environment and everybody's fine. If it is something like verbal, then you're  This is what I suggest.

You get a sensory profile from whomever does your sensory profile for your child. You bring that information into the school and you advocate for supports. And that is part of the role of the school. Yes, I know we get pushback. Yes, I know they don't understand. And I always feel like the hardest part of parenting an autistic child is It's getting the schools, family members, therapists to get on board with providing things with providing supports for your child with consistency.

So if the school doesn't have a place for them to stim, then you need to bring in the information, share, discuss a plan and they need to create a space. And if you need ideas on that you can reach out to me. You can, watch some of the courses. I love using color tape. To make areas for kids to pace, spin having a tent.

Sometimes kids can just take a walk in the hallway and get their verbal stims out. It just depends on the school, the age of the child, but it is the responsibility of the school to create an environment. And sometimes they just need the information and understanding of why. And sometimes they understand why they just don't think creative, creatively in order to provide something.

A lot of people don't think about just put. You could just put a bath mat. You know those runner rugs? I've even put runner rugs in a classroom. That's a pacing area. For a child who needs to pace and walk, they can do it right there. I've even had kids wear headphones in the learning listening center, where they can listen to their loop over and over again during their center time.

So get creative. I don't know, let me put.  There's so many things that I can think of because I love setting up classrooms for success, and I know Kim may have some ideas as well. So what I'm going to do is put in my email really quick and then send me a message and I have maybe some different ideas that will pop in my head that I can send to you. 

All right, any other questions?  Yep, we have a question from Erickson. He's asking can stimming be their way to refuse what they asked to do?  Haha, I love that question! Okay, so I love this question because often, some will say, oh, they're stimming to avoid a task. They're stimming to avoid a task.

And I'm like they're stimming to avoid a task. So why are they needing to avoid that task? Are they not regulated enough to complete it? Is it something difficult that they don't understand and they can't communicate what they don't understand? Do they not even know why they're not able to do that task?

And even if they've done the task before, that doesn't mean every single time their system is ready. So my frame of thinking is, when I'm starting activity and I'll, I will, I think I might have given this in one of the other videos when my kiddos start doing the stimming, right? When I say, okay, we're going to go ahead and start doing our paragraph, right?

And I start seeing the stimming. Then I asked them, do you need 30 seconds, one minute, two minutes, five minutes, depending on the kid, how much time do you need? And they let me know. And they stim. They get it out, they regulate, they come back, and they're ready. I give that time because if I'm gonna, if I fight it, it's not, nothing's gonna get done.

It's not gonna get done. It is much easier for me to allow access, give them time, and even if they take 20 minutes  to do it, 15 minutes, right? I get a good 5, minutes, and we finish the task. Because when they're regulated, they can. When they're not regulated, they cannot communicate efficiently. They know what they want to say, non speaking or not, or verbal speaking.

Autistic individuals are very aware of what they want to tell you. or ask for or advocate for. But if it's not accessible verbally, they need their AAC device. Even having a device may sometimes, executive functioning can be glitchy if you're not regulated. Knowing the child, understanding the child makes a huge difference. 

And I love the answer that Kim said as well, giving them choice and giving them time. And, sometimes people will say, Oh, just let your students do whatever they want to do. I don't necessarily think that's what I'm doing. I'm allowing them to have access to the supports they need so they can actually do the things that I need them to do. 

It's really that simple. And all of us do that. Some people drink three cups of coffee to regulate their system before they meet their family or go to the office. And if they do not get that coffee, they are not regulated and they cannot perform at work.  It's the same for our kids. If they're not regulated, they can't communicate.

They can't regulate. They can't emotionally regulate. What are we going to do? Allow stimming!  And I will say as a side note, we're not saying to allow anything that is harmful. Banging heads and hitting, that's a whole different dynamic, right? That's not part of it's part of self regulation, but it's to the point where if they're that dis regulated and they're doing abusive things, then we need to look at what's going on with their day. 

their environment. And I do understand that a lot of times don't have control over what the schools do. And any autistic individual will tell you that school is the most sensory dysregulating environment of their entire life, right? And our kids spend a lot of time at school and not all schools are providing what our kids need.

They're not providing the sensory. They're making the children earn it. I had a discussion with someone who said, Oh, they get to have two minutes.  I said, who wants two minute break? If you're working as a teacher and you only get a two minute break for lunch, that's not going to make you  get ready to go back and finish the rest of your day. 

And you know what her response was to me?  We can't bill stimming. We can't bill regulating time.  Okay.  So we're just going to not allow them to have access to their supports because you can't charge for regulation. So we need to think about that. We need to think about that.  Autistic individuals are human beings who have a right to regulate themselves as everyone else does.

And yes, sometimes it's challenging. Yes, sometimes it's difficult. And yes, sometimes it looks weird. Own the weirdness and work through the uncomfortableness. Because that is the way to provide an inclusive environment and community for autistic individuals around the world. And I'm going to end with that. 

Does anyone have any other questions?

All right. Thank you all for joining me to talk about stimming and self regulation. Can wipe off that goal. They're already self regulating.  We just have to say, okay, I have to tolerate, because sometimes it is tolerating.  They are the person with the disability working hard to maintain an environment.

Remember, we put sign language for those who need sign language everywhere.  We need to do the same for our neurodivergent individuals.  All right. Thank you, everyone. Sarah, do you want to stop recording or do you want me we're just done? I'm not sure what you want for the finish. Yep, that's all good. I can just stop recording for you guys.

Thanks, Stacey. Thank you all so much. Thanks for being flexible with my technology issues.