You Are The One

You are the one. 

You are the one you've been waiting for.  No one is coming to save you.  And you don't need anyone to save you. 

You are the one. You are the one who creates your experience and if you don't like it then you can re-create it. This is a level of radical responsibility for yourself and your life that few will take.  

It isn't easy, in fact it's humbling and hard.  Which is why so few actually do it.  It takes radical courage and bravery to do it.  It is a position of 100% responsibility and with it comes 100% power to change, evolve and grow into who you want to be.

When we've lost our own agency, when we stop growing and evolving then we feel awful.  Take your power back and know you are the one!

Join me to discover why you are the one and why that's the BEST news and how you can leverage it to become a powerful force for creating more health, success and joy in your life right now.

As always, I love to hear from you, so go on and share this or tag me and give me a #YouAreTheOne if this speaks to you!

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Before you go, I want to invite you into what I’m calling the greatest experiment in thriving on the internet. ✨

It’s called Project Thrive—and we’re finding out what becomes possible when brilliant, ambitious, big-hearted humans stop postponing their own joy, aliveness, and possibility and start creating from there.

And I want you in this experiment with me.

If a round is open, jump in. And if you missed this one, get yourself on the Priority List for the next round.

Because you do not have to wait for some future version of your life to start thriving.

Your Year of Thriving can begin the moment you decide it does.

Come play with us.

Go to drtamiberry.com/project-thrive.

Let’s find out just how good life gets to be. 💛✨

Let's stay connected!
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Transcript

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0:28

Hi there. Welcome to another episode of Dr. Tammy talks. I'm your host, Dr. Tami Barre. Today, we are talking about you are the one you are. You're the one, my friends. You are it. You are the most important person in your life. And this is something we kind of get it and then we instantly, as soon as we acknowledge that, that could be true. We're instantly consumed with some sense of guilt or selfishness, or that must that's just so self-centered. I mean, how could I be the one most important person in my life. Part of us thinks it sounds logical and it makes sense. And then there's another part of us that goes well, could that really possibly be true? And, and so let's look at that today because I think what becomes available to us when we're willing to say I am the one, I am the. Responsible for my life. I am the one responsible for everything that takes place. I am the one that is the creator of my own experience. I am the one who decides how I will live and how I will experience myself my relationships, my work, my life. And when we start doing this, this is a radical level of responsibility. Right? And this, this is not. Common to a lot of people, because I think it's so much easier to look around and point at all of the influences and all of the things that are around us that are creators or perpetuaters of our own misery. Right. So let me just speak from my own example so that this isn't so. Ambiguous for the longest time as I was on my trajectory of burnout, I had become so angry and frustrated and resentful at the industry of medicine. And there were so many things to blame for my exhaustion, for my overworking, for the moral injury for my emotional and mental pain, right. There were like so many culprits. You know, I experienced targeting and microaggressions and macro aggressions from. The time that I entered academia through my medical school training through residency training and beyond. And it was really hard for me at a certain point to come to terms with you are the one and. I resented that at first too. Like, what do you mean? I'm the one, like, you clearly don't understand the system within which I was working and living because, because the problem isn't just me, this problem is systemic. This problem is embedded in the culture and it isn't that, that isn't true. That is true. That is true. But I internalized those systems that were around me and I allowed those conditions to be built into my own belief system that then affected how I saw myself and how I saw the world. And until I was willing to say, you are the one. Until I was willing to say, I allowed myself to be conditioned in that way, as painful as that was, it was the moment of liberation. Because as soon as I acknowledge that I am the one that allowed myself to be controlled in this way to be manipulated, to be. Put into a position where I was willing to sacrifice, and prove myself over and over and over again, were patterns that I had already been conditioned to believe. Otherwise I would have never tolerated it at all. Right. It would not have, like, it would not have registered as part of the operating system. You know, like my internal operating system, which is built and yours as well. It's a by-product of all of our experiences and the constitution or the state of our nervous system, which processes the information that's coming in, helps us make sense of it, how to store it, how to access it, all of these things. I mean, it's incredible what's happening in that magnificent brain of yours. And so. But those belief structures had been there and then had been deepened and broadened and expanded upon and until. I was willing to say I'm the one I also was holding myself apart from the solution because as soon as I realized that it was my willingness, like I was a willing participant in this, even though it was killing me. And it wasn't until I stepped away and took a hiatus that I was able to start to heal and recognize, wow. That conditioning was so deep and I get to recondition. This is such an incredible opportunity. And. We get to do it, you know? And so I became like so fascinated with this idea, with these concepts of how is it that our thought structures, our thought models create our experience of reality end up ultimately shaping our experience of life and ourselves. It's these thought models that determine how we truly behave, how we act and the outcomes that we get in this beautiful life. And so I got to work on studying this, you know, like, I mean, I've spent essentially my entire life studying life. Right. I did this formally through my medical education and my medical training. Which I loved all. I really did love it until it became so toxic that I just couldn't survive in the system anymore. But the principles of science, the principles of surgery, the principles still fascinated me. Like I think the human body is such a miraculous apparatus and. I am beginning to understand that our mind, our nervous system, these are such powerful tools that few of us really understand, and that as we start to take this level of like radical responsibility for ourselves, as soon as we can look ourselves in the mirror and say, you are the one you are the creator of your life. And that is going to bring up a whole myriad of thoughts and feelings and emotions. And I had to embark on a deep journey of acceptance and forgiveness, especially because I looked at the depths of. I looked at the depths of my alcoholism, my gambling addiction, my drug addiction, my shopping addiction. Right? Like there were so many layers to this that I had to also study this because it was, it was as if I was another person. And now that I understand what stress does to the brain and the nervous system, it does change you. It does change the way that you think. It does hijack your ability to make really good decisions based on your best interest, based on your greatest values, based on your commitments and your core strengths and it, and when I started to realize that it was like, oh my God, why does everybody not know this? I see so many hardworking, good. Physicians surgeons professionals who are burning out, who are driven by so much passion and purpose who find themselves in situations where they're drinking too much, they're numbing out. They are so miserable that they don't know that they have choices. I know this so well. And. I want, I want anybody who's in that situation to know that you're not even in charge anymore. That it's the stress circuitry that is running the show. And it is it just one of the most horrific, awful places to be in your life. I've been there. I know it so well. I also know that you can train your nervous system and your brain to come out of that chronic stress response. So that it works the way it was designed to which is to facilitate your own growth and evolution in this life. And I think that's when we become really miserable, when we feel like we've stopped growing, when we feel like we've stopped evolving and becoming the best version of ourselves. When we feel ourselves regressing, sliding backwards, becoming a version of ourselves that is frustrated, angry, discontented, restless, irritable, impatient, maybe sometimes aggressive and hostile. Nobody wants to live that. And you know, after having experienced burnout, I also realized that the, brain is fundamentally altered. My brain is different. Burnout is akin to brain damage that the research on that, like I've, I've done the research. I've looked into this stuff. It's, it's, it's rather conclusive that. That burnout is akin to brain damage that as we accumulate this stress in our nervous systems, it actually leads to the release of prostaglandins within the brain parenchyma itself, a process that until the research lab led by Dr. Robert dancer, we had no idea that this was even happening, but we didn't even think prostate glands existed in the brain. Current research on the brain and nervous system and stress right now is beyond fascinating. And so it's, it's really important for us to recognize when we're hijacked by stress and to have a toolkit for settling the stress response. For calming the sympathetic nervous system. And we can do that by strengthening the parasympathetic nervous system as well, which is a huge part of what I teach. I I'm so passionate about this in, in the weeks. Coming ahead, keep your eyes out. I'm I'm starting a brand new program. I'm so excited. I can't contain myself smart program, the stress mastery and resilience training program. It's going to be so good. Details. We're coming soon. There's going to be an application process. And it will be a group model it's going to be absolutely fantastic. I'm so excited. And it brings these skills and these tools to more people, which is really ultimately the goal long-term with all of this, right, is that we, we all want to see people flourish and mastering stress. And developing stress. Resilience is hands down the most critical life skill. Any of us will develop if we're interested in surviving as well as we can and interested in thriving to the greatest degree possible. So excited about that, stay tuned, but back to what I was discussing here, which is like, you are the one, you, you are the one. Right. And it's, and as soon as we acknowledge, you're the one you're waiting for. You're the one responsible for everything that's taken place. When you can take that level of radical responsibility for yourself, you also put yourself in the driver's seat of your life and you say, okay, because I'm willing to say I, 100% created this and I am willing to swallow that pill as hard as it is to swallow. I also get the medicine that's involved in this because now I'm the one that can recreate this. I'm the one that can reprogram my own mind. I am the one that can reprogram and repattern the way that I show up in my life. I'm the one that can rebalance my nervous system and gain access to the parts of my brain that have essentially been taken offline. I can gain access to my free prefrontal cortex. I can call my amygdala and my limbic system. I can establish emotional equanimity. I can make the decisions that I want in this life. I am the one. And so as we develop this ability for self leadership, self coaching, and self-advocacy, there is nothing you can't do in your life. No. And so this has me so excited. You are the one and, and, you know, for anybody that says, like, who are you to live a truly joyful life, look at how hard everybody else has it. I want to say, who are you not to for anybody that wants to go, oh, but like, who am I to be the most important person in my life? Who are you not to? Who are you not to be that person? Who am I to be truly thriving and flourishing at a time when so many people are suffering, who are you not to? Who am I to dare to be an agent of change and a leader in a time where everybody is in crisis? Who are you not to be? Who are you to live your best life right now? Why not? You, if not you who who's going to do it, who's going to show people what's possible. Who's going to be a beacon of health and fulfillment and joy. If it's not you, who's going to be the embodied. Of confidence and success. If it isn't you, you are the one, you are the one you will always be the one I want to equip you. I want you to know that you have everything within you, that you need to have an absolutely beautiful, amazing, fulfilling, successful life. You are the one you've been waiting for. Nobody is coming to save you and you don't need anybody to come save you because you are the one. And you're the only one you're going to ever need. I love that. I love knowing that I love knowing that I'm the creator of my experience. I love knowing that I am in the seat of power in my own life. I love knowing that it takes incredible amounts of courage and bravery to be the one. But I've decided that I don't have another choice because I'm not playing the victim. I'm done being the perpetrator of my own misery. I'm here to create, I'm here to create change. I'm here to create joy. I'm here to create success for you. For me, for us. You are the one, God bless you. You're the one. And when you know that your life's going to change when you believe that your life's going to change. So a fun little exercise, look yourself in the mirror today. Like really look at yourself in the mirror and say, You are the one you are the one I've been waiting for. You are the one that will lead me. You are the one that will love me. You are the one I've been waiting for. You're the one I'm going to stand by. You're the one I'm going to bet on. You're the one I'm going to invest in. You're the one I'm going to build. You're the one I'm going to coach. You're the one I'm going to lead. You're the one. cause my friend. You are the one. If you ever need help, figuring that out, learning that, building that reach out because I'm into I'm into building beautiful leaders like you. Thanks for tuning in. I'd love to hear from you. Let me know, share with me. Maybe you're going to share with me, tag me hashtag you are the one. Because you're the one, my friend