Dr. Tami Talks

Inner Intelligence

Tami Berry Episode 51

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0:00 | 34:20

Have you ever wanted to be a more powerful creator in your life experience so you could finally experience more happiness, fulfillment and success in life with a modicum of ease and joy along the way?


Do you ever wonder what it will actually take to finally break free of burnout and create more of what you actually want in life?


Does the idea of accessing your own inner intelligence as a gateway to access your creative power in your life sound amazing to you?


Then this episode is for you!


In this episode I share why Inner Intelligence is the superpower you need to move beyond your limited human conditioning and how you can use it to create more of what you truly want in life.  


You’ll also learn why it’s so easy for us to dismiss and disregard our own inner intelligence and how we can reclaim it.  I share the four domains of Inner Intelligence and how you can harness these to heal, transform and liberate creative power in your life so you can have more of what you actually want and need to be truly healthy, happy, fulfilling and successful in life from this moment forward.



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Hello there. Welcome. We are talking inter intelligence, my friend. This is a topic that I've been playing with for a very, very, very long time and I'm so happy I'm finally able to share it cuz it's been in synthesis information in evolution for a really long time. And it's finally something that I've clarity on. It's finally something I'm more deeply understanding and implementing in my life, and it's something that I'm able to help guide you. And my clients in understanding for themselves. So it's time to share. It's time for prime time baby and I am sure that this concept of inner intelligence is something that's going to continue to evolve and grow, as my understanding does, as my work does. And I have to just say that this has been such a huge breakthrough year for me over this last. We're coming up on. This will be, I believe, our 51st or 52nd podcast. Right. So this is a year of podcasting. Thanks for being with me. If you've been with me on this whole journey, wow. Have you seen an evolution in Dr. Tammy? Thanks for being witness to the magic that's unfolding here, and I just, Been able to look at this body of work that's starting to emerge, and I think until I've gotten over so much of my perfectionism and my procrastination, it has been this work of really mastering inner intelligence. And when I use the word mastery or mastering, I'm not talking conquering and commanding and controlling. When I talk about the word mastery, and whenever you hear me use the word mastery or you see it, what I'm talking about is a deep understanding, a deeper ability to work with something skillfully. Like a co-creative energy, a co-partnership. It's steeped in wisdom and benevolence and true power. This is the way I use the word mastery. It's different than a lot of other self-improvement. Self-development teachers talk about mastery, and so I just wanted to make that distinction in case he didn't know my distinction. So really it has been about. Developing mastery with my own inner intelligence that has allowed me to navigate new territory in my life. And we are all meant to be creators of our own life experience, and that's what inner intelligence gives us. Truly, it is the capacity. The ability and the skill to be creators in our lives and without it, we tend to be survivors of life. We're reacting to life. We're reactive to the circumstances, the people, the events, the things of our lives, and we're not truly stepping into this creative role, co-creative role that we've been, divinely designed to have. When we look at how humans are so different than any other species, it is undeniable to me that there is something vastly unique about the way our minds work, about the power of our consciousness and the role that we play as creators that have been created in the image of a divine creator. And so my fascination, my whole burnout recovery journey has been in understanding how the human body, the human mind, is this creative force in our lives and how we get to harness and use that power in a directed way. In a way that serves us and serves the people around us, particularly the people that we love and the causes we love, and the world that we love, and the communities that we love and hold dear to ourselves. And so this is why we need inner intelligence. I've realized that this has sort of been. A culmination of so much of my work, and I'm feeling just a little giddy and excited that I get to share this with you because this really feels like a breakthrough moment. It feels like this entire last year of podcasting, of understanding my own position of. Truly being an embodiment of my work has allowed this to come through with such greater clarity and focus, and I have such reverence for it. I feel like I'm sharing my baby with you, And what's beautiful about sharing your baby with the world is that you love this baby so, so much that you don't even care what anybody else think. You're just like, look at how amazing my baby is. Is it the light of the world shining through this child's eyes? Oh my gosh, you guys, I'm getting excited. Got a baby boy coming this summer. I'm like beside myself with so much joy, so much overwhelm, and I, trust me, I know that this little man is truly a byproduct of my work, of this co-creative, co-creating with the divine, co-creating magic and manifesting what it is that my heart really wants in this. And that means so much more to me than anything else. And this is also why inner intelligence becomes so important, because inner intelligence, if you practice it the way I'm teaching it will always bring you to your hearts desires. To the wishes and the intentions of your heart, and when you practice inner intelligence, the way that I think we can leverage this, what it does is it gives you a window of insight into when you've abdicated, you've put aside your inner intelligence, which is a heart-centered intelligence for your intellect. And whenever we do, Whenever we prize the intellectual mind over the inner intelligence of the heart, we end up fucking ourselves. We end up screwed in some way. It doesn't not work out well for us, Whenever we diminish and dismiss the intelligence of our hearts. The desires of our hearts for the intellectual minds idea of desire, goals, success. Whenever we're doing that, we're choosing to act from a wound instead of our fully resourced self. We're choosing to act in a way that undermines our inner intelligence, and it's like we've outsourced that inte. because the intellectual mind is synthesizing goals, visions, values and ideas of success that have been outsourced. They aren't coming from you. They're not coming from your greatest center of. And so as we use inter intelligence, we're actually reconnecting to our center of power. We're reconnecting to the intelligence and the wisdom that's within us, and when we're resourced from this place, incredible things happen in our lives. I want that happening for you, for me, for us. So this is why we need inner intelligence. It's so easy to dismiss it all together. Right. And particularly when we're living in really stressful times, you know, to access your inner intelligence requires nervous system balance to get there. And as we're stressed, we're moved back into this reactive, primal region of the brain, which is all rooted in survival. And we are not able to access the prefrontal cortex and the other regions of the brain that are 100% responsible for our ability to be fully capable creators in our lives. So we've talked a little bit about what it is. We've talked a little bit about why we want it. We've talked a little bit about how it is that we lose it. And now I wanna talk about how it is that we optimize our inner intelligence. How do we get more of it right? Like if this thing is so important for me to be a creator in my life and manifest my dreams in this life, well then tell me how to get it. How do I get more? Let's do that, shall we? There's four domains of inter intelligence that I want us to discuss. The first domain is self-compassion. It's first for a reason because without it, we don't fully get to the second domain, which is self-awareness. And self-awareness is second, because without both compassion and self-awareness, we don't get to the third domain, which is self-regulation. And those three together create the foundation for our ability to reach the fourth domain, which is self-directedness. So these domains are separate, but also build on one another. So they're so deeply interconnected that we wanna be working on building them sort of sequentially, And progressively. And then as an integrated whole sort of over and over and over again. And so like, Compassion. The reason why that is so important is because without it we aren't able to fully see the mind. We're not able to fully see consciousness itself, and it is our consciousness that is powerful and we get it confused. I think that when. We throw around terms like consciousness. We think conscious mind, which is sort of like the thinking mind. And yes, that conscious mind is powerful, but we are not using it to its maximum potential and power in our lives. I am now realizing the magnificent power of my conscious mind is in the role it plays in programming my unconscious mind. And let me tell you why. Consciousness itself is comprised of the conscious mind, which is about five. Of the mind and the unconscious mind is something like 95% of your mind. Think about that. So our intellect, the thinking mind that we've prized, right? Like how many hundreds of thousands of dollars do people spend optimizing this intellectual mind? I mean, I'm raising my hand over here. I was one of. Right. I had myself convinced that the more I worked with my conscious mind, the more successful my life was gonna be, and I ignored, I didn't have any understanding of this unconscious mind. I didn't have any understanding of this 95% of my life, and there were consequences to that. There is nothing wrong with optimizing your conscious mind. I wanna make that very clear right now. If you wanna pour money and resources and time into optimizing your conscious minds, all the power to you. But if you think that you don't have to also bring your unconscious mind with you, you're going to end up burnt out, consumed. The root driver, which is often a wound that drives the intellectual pursuit in the first place. So for me, I'm just gonna speak from personal experience, the pursuit of achieving this in getting to the place of being a surgeon was, for me, very much rooted in three things that I see now as played out over and over and over again. That led to my burnout directly and that the pain of that then led to an incredible degree of numbing with substance abuse, with substances and shopping and anything else that would work, anything else that was gonna hit my dopamine centers, right? So it was this pursuit of proving myself. Of proving I was good enough of desperately wanting to be worthy and thinking that if I did this, then I would be and desperately wanting security, safety, and security, not realizing that really the safety and the security I needed had to come from within my own nervous system, had to come within my own emotional bank. That you can't buy it, and that when you do would you start earning the multiple six figures and you are insecure, you will just end up more insecure. There will never be an amount of money that's enough to compensate for what's in the unconscious mind. The conscious mind cannot work hard enough, achieve enough. acquire enough to actually rewrite and reprogram an unconscious or subconscious belief. And this is what's within the unconscious mind. I'm gonna use those terms interchangeably. So for just like ease of conversation, I'm gonna try to stick with the word unconscious. and so in this unconscious mind, Is all of our bodily functions, thankfully, right? We don't wanna be thinking about that. You do not have time to be beating your heart. You don't have time to remember to breathe It's like, thank goodness. The unconscious mind is taking care of that. The unconscious mind is all so governing the autonomic nervous system and. It is the place that's housing and functioning based on our thoughts, our beliefs, our emotions, our habitual patterns of thoughts, emotions, and actions. So it's so interesting how this programming works As we gain awareness, what we're gaining awareness of becomes the question. We're gaining awareness of what's in the unconscious. My goal is to help elevate our ability to gain awareness of what's unconscious. Because, just because it's. Conscious doesn't mean it's not driving our lives. If we don't feel good enough. If we feel like we need to prove ourselves, if we feel like we're somehow not worthy, if we feel like we don't belong, if we don't feel safe, if we don't feel secure, if we don't feel loved, if we don't feel cared. If we don't feel seen and heard and honored and respected, if we don't establish that programming in the unconscious mind, we're living on the deficit of that. And I really love this quote by Carl Young, which is until you make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate. And so this portion of the work, this ability to be self-aware becomes critically important. and it requires an incredible amount of self-compassion to cultivate self-awareness because so much of what we're looking at are fear-based patterns, and you cannot find them going on an inquisition, right? You cannot invade them. You cannot exercise that. You know? This cannot be an exorcism. We want to go in with so much compass. So much love, so much kindness, so much respect, and then we get to see them. These unconscious patterns are gonna stay unconscious if you don't go in with enough respect and dignity and honoring to see them. And as I build self-compassion, as I build this ability to see my mistakes to be wrong and be with myself, to befriend myself, truly befriend myself, be my own best friend, I mean that work is so critical. And the work of of Kristen Neff. I cannot emphasize her work enough. Her book, uh, self-Compassion and her more recent one is fierce compassion, and there's a free quiz that you can take on her website that I think is so insightful in helping you understand where you actually are on the spectrum of self-compassion, because I think a lot of us actually think we're not so bad here. Like, I'm, I'm, I'm alright to myself. And then you go through and you take this assessment and you're like, okay. Right, right. I've got work to do. I've got work to do here. No problem. No problem. So helpful to know what work I need to do to be the creator of my life experience. So that I can show up with more love, so that I can have more joy, so I can have more fun, so I can have more love, so I can have more genuine success in my life. I'm willing to go to work for that, and I know you are too. So cultivating self-compassion becomes critical skill on the journey. And then we cultivate self-awareness and there are so many ways to do. But I really do believe working with somebody is the fast. To understanding and, and exploring how it is to cultivate that self-awareness. And then when you're in groups with other people and you're watching other people cultivate self-awareness, and then you see it happen and you see the unconscious become conscious and you see this transformation and this liberation and this healing that takes place in that. Wow. Wow. Because the thread of that exists in all of. So as one person is healing and liberating and transforming, truly we all are. It is such a magnificent journey. So first we're talking self-compassion. That's the first domain of inner intelligence. The second domain is self-awareness, and the third domain is self-regulation. And the reason why it requires self-awareness to do self-regulation is because self-regulation is this ability to recognize when we're in distress. And resource ourselves. I prefer doing that directly through the nervous system itself, which is why I think coherence training is truly our superpower when it comes to being creators of our life experience. Because not only does coherence training, optimize your self-compassion, optimize your self-awareness. It becomes a critical key in the moment for self-regulation, and it builds this sort of stress resilience in the nervous system itself so that you're less triggered by the stressors around you. So self-regulation becomes easier and easier because if you have to self-regulate a trigger happy nervous system. This becomes exhausting. This was me for, for years before I truly understood the role of the nervous system and the incredible power that we have when we do a little small investment every day in balancing it, because that nervous system is your access point for the unconscious. It is driving all of these unconscious beliefs and habits and patterns, and as long as we are living trapped in the activated sympathetic nervous system, we aren't truly free. We aren't truly able to be self-directed, which is what comes next. So self-regulation is the key to being self-directed. And self-directed is the fourth domain of inner inte. Self-directed means you have the ability to direct yourself in a way that's in alignment with your ultimate goals in life. Now, this becomes a critical skill. This sounds like, aren't we all doing that All of the time, but you're not. For the majority of us, we are living these sort of reactive, reactionary lives. We're our self-directedness. We think we're self-directed. But really what we are is reactive and responsive to what's happening around us, which is important. Self-directedness takes it a step further, and self-directedness is this ability to not just show up the way that you want to when you want to. It's the ability to. Start bridging and, and recognizing when you are living from an unconscious belief system or program that no longer serves you and do the work, which is in the mindset model, do the work to rewrite that program. So that mindset model also superpowers the self-awareness and the self-directedness, and it requires incredible amounts of self-compassion to do it effectively and efficiently. So self-directedness is, this is truly a powerhouse of a skillset. It requires coherence in order for us to respond in the moment, rather than living from these reactive patterns, we can notice an activated nervous system when it arises. An activated sympathetic nervous system. When it arises, we get to regulate and redirect. So that's one component of self-directedness. It's on the spot. It's an on the spot ability to be fully resourced and show up with the best of what we've got in the moments that mean the most to. And another dimension of self-directedness is this ability to harness self-directed neuroplasticity. This ability to shift brain states, to shift neural networks that ultimately shift belief systems. That shift, the programming from which we live from, it's like laying a new blueprint, And as we're cultivating self-awareness, as we're cultivating the skills of self-compassion and self-regulation, we're building towards the self-directedness. this becomes so important because so much of what we're actually creating from is from this unconscious. Realm of the mind. And there are two things that we want to be gaining awareness of and using intelligently to direct ourselves towards what it is that we want more of, what we want. And those two things are the ability to use our emotions intelligently and this feedback from our nervous system. Because when we're able to develop this sensitivity, this awareness of when our nervous system is activated, this is interception. This ability to be aware of our inner state tells us that we are operating from a program, a belief system that does not serve our greatest good. This is such intelligent information to be working with. We want to use this intelligent feedback to our advantage, so before we can gain that, sometimes what we do gain is an awareness of how we feel. Our emotional state can be the indicator that we rely on to look intelligently at the mind. Where is the intellect? Where is the thinking mind? Where is the conscious mind or the unconscious mind not aligned with what it is we really want for ourselves, for the situation, for this moment, for our lives? And this is where self-directedness becomes super powerful. It's this continual dynamic of self-compassion, self-awareness, self-regulation, self-directedness. That allows us to intelligently use the information available to us, which is always through our emotions and always through the state of our nervous system about how we are creating this experience of life. And of course if we miss that window of opportunity, if we're not catching it at the moment of nervous system activation, if we're not catching it at the moment where the sympathetic nervous system is activated, we can catch it at the emotional level. Oh, I don't feel so good. I'm feeling really frustrated. I'm feeling really disappointed. I'm feeling defeated. I'm feeling depressed, feeling sick. I'm feeling ill. What am I thinking? What program am I operating from right now? What are my thoughts? What's going on here? And getting so curious. Right? And then if we don't catch it there, we get to catch it in our actions and our behaviors and our reactions really. Um, because we become very reactionary. We're either creating our reality or reacting to it. And when we're reacting to it, we're more often than not living in some sort of limited self-limited. Unconscious pattern or program belief system that is just well practiced. It's just familiar, but we can't move forward until we become aware of it and we start to dismantle this. Embedded pattern of thoughts, emotions that are sort of being held hostage by the nervous system itself, right? So we wanna go to the nervous system. We wanna start dismantling these patterns, disrupting them, and then we get to displace them, which is the self-directed neuroplasticity piece, the self-directedness piece, which. Quite frankly, as you start playing in this territory, it just becomes so much fun. This is where we get to celebrate every little win. It's like every time. I don't overreact every time I, I come from my love instead of my fear. Every time I connect with my partner in a loving way, every time I connect with my daughter in a loving way. Every time I connect with myself, my work, the world, other people, this. We celebrate all of that because that is the sign that we are breaking free of these stress-based patterns that have been fueling our burnout and we are truly creating something new that's life affirming and life nourishing, and nothing is more exciting than that. Are you catching what I'm putting down? I know this is really big stuff. I get it. But it's so important that you have just an understanding of what it takes to be a genuine, true creator of your own life experience. Because I want us harnessing this power, I want us using it. And this isn't actually that hard. When you break it down and you let me lead you step by step through this, and let me hold your hand while you do it, and we get to laugh about it, and we get to cry at your breakthroughs, and we get to celebrate the shit out of you the whole way through. My friends, if you're not working with me, I don't even know what you're doing, I don't even know what you're doing with your life, but anyways. Let me get back to like you could truly, I honestly believe with the content that I share, you could listen to my podcast and you could radically uplevel your life. This has been my goal. That, yes, it costs the money to work with me. Yes, it's investment in yourself to do this work. It's an investment in your life. It's where you get to put your money down for a real transformation in your life. But if you don't have the funds, if the coin is hard right now, you get to have it for free when you listen to me, and that is my. Because you could truly do all of this work, you can start building self-compassion. Now you can start building some self-awareness today. You can start building self-regulation skills today, and you can start developing the skill of self-directedness to today. Right? There are episodes on all of this. I have episodes on all of this. And they're all building on these skillsets. All of my work is building on these skillsets, and you will find a thread of it in nearly everything that I have put out to date. This episode here just sort of integrates all of those pieces and pulls all of those threads together and is like the beautiful tapestry, right? This is the mandala. Sorry to mix metaphors there, but this is, this is the beauty of what's being created. And then you get to have your canvas, right? You're gonna use this. Understanding of inner intelligence, you are gonna connect to this epicenter of power that you have and you're gonna start putting it into practice. And it's important that we look at this like we're gonna be little scientists here, right? Gamify this. Let this be fun. Let this be a journey of exploration and dance with this as much as you can, be as playful and curious as you can possibly be with this entire process. Where we kill it is we become serious, and I'm speaking from my own experience, I have this streak in me where I can get really serious. I can think life is really serious. I can think the things in life are really serious and I have to continually remind myself. It's really, it's really not that serious. Even death itself is just a transition point. Nothing that serious is actually going on here. And the more serious we make it, the more embedded we are in the survivor. The more activated, the sympathetic nervous system is at the level of the unconscious mind. Truly, we want to watch where we are making things serious and important. This is my work that I'm working on right now. I am being so much more mindful of where am I making things serious? Where am I making things important? Where am I making things hard and I'm easing up on all of. I'm shifting into my heart space and I'm finding a new perspective. I'm getting coherent, and I am redirecting my mind because it isn't that serious. There's nothing that serious going on here. We came here to create and play and evolve and grow, and see what we could do in this life. Truly. I think that's why we're here, to be creators, to create, and whenever we're not doing that, we don't feel good. Whenever we outsource that and we give somebody else the power to create in our own experience, we feel like shit. Whenever we outsource that and we're following the intellectual mind, instead of the intelligent mind, we are burning out. There is a new way forward. There is a new future that doesn't involve self-sacrifice, self-sabotage, or any of the other things that we thought were necessary to achieve success. It's a new game. It's a new day. It could just be a brand new life. Hmm. So exciting. I'm so happy I was able to share these ideas with you. I really apologize if they felt unorganized or a little rough around the edges, but this truly, I think is like the initial synthesis of a significant piece of my body of work, and I'm so honored you were here to share it with me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you again, if you don't mind. There's a thing on iTunes, if you don't mind reading the show, leaving a review. I appreciate you. Thanks for tuning in. I'll catch you on another episode or maybe in the next round of the Smart program. We're opening the doors in a few weeks. Very exciting. I hope I get to see you there. Take care, my friend.