Jealousy

In this transformative episode of Dr. Tami Talks, Dr. Tami dives deep into the often misunderstood emotion of jealousy. Rather than letting it fester or hold us back, she teaches how to use jealousy as a powerful tool for growth and transformation. 

With personal stories, insightful coaching moments, and actionable strategies, Dr. Tami challenges us to reframe jealousy as feedback that reveals our deepest desires and potential.

Key Takeaways:

1.Jealousy is a reflection of what you truly want and a signpost for your next level of growth.

2.By identifying what jealousy is trying to tell you, you can realign with your goals and reclaim your personal power.

3.Gratitude and curiosity are the keys to transforming jealousy into inspiration and motivation.

4.The quality of your life is determined by the questions you ask yourself.

5.True success comes from recognizing and amplifying what you already have, while evolving toward what you desire.

Quotable Moments:

“Jealousy becomes the door you walk through—the gateway to giving yourself permission, power, and confidence to go for what you want.” -Dr. Tami

“Anything you see that someone else has, you can have too. Jealousy is just showing you what’s possible.” -Dr. Tami

Tune in to learn how to transform jealousy into the ultimate tool for personal and professional growth, just in time for the holiday season and beyond.

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Transcript

Audio Only - All Participants 0:01

Hello. Welcome to the show. Welcome. Welcome. You know me, I'm Dr. Tami and welcome to Dr. Tami Talks. This is a podcast all about giving you the tools, the mindset, the skill set to shift your mind, shift your life. That's what we do around here. Because who wants to stay stuck? I don't, and I know you don't either. That's why you tune in so happy. You're here today. We are talking jealousy, and I really do think that this might end up being a little bit of a masterclass. It certainly is a free coaching session because this is content that has come out of my one on one coaching work. And because it came up with more than one of my clients, I thought, let's bring it here. Let's bring it to the podcast because I really think this is rich. valuable territory. And that's always what I like to deliver, like the whole fluff thing. It's not my thing. I'm like, let's go deep. Let's go real. Let's transform some shit. Shall we? So jealousy, and it's sort of a time of year, right? We're between holidays right now. I am recording this at the beginning of December of 2024. And this is when we start seeing people's A game, right? This is when people start sharing the highlights. And this is when people can start to feel like jealousy is creeping in. Ever since I was a little girl, I. Had been taught by my grandfather, who was my first mindset coach. He was brilliant. This man was not formerly educated form, former, formal, formally, but his ability to use his mind to create phenomenal results in his life was astounding. What this farm boy from Canada created. In his life in America is a story unto itself and how he followed his passions, how he integrated them, what he built for his family, what he built for himself as a legacy with his mind. Not being formerly, formally educated past the third grade blows my mind. He built buildings. He was a photographer. He was, he did lighting. He ended up working with Clint Eastwood on a project. He created videography for the military so that they could start training soldiers. Through video instead of relying on hand, you know, this like hand to hand training that wasn't available as World War II was starting. I mean, this man. Kept himself out of the front lines by using his mind. Right. And he's phenomenal. He's just a phenomenal human being. Love you, Papa, my heavenly father. So grandfather. And so, um, where did it, was I going with that tangent? Oh, so when I was very young, he taught me to never let jealousy sit within myself and that anything that I saw that somebody else had. I could have it too. And so I was not to tolerate sitting in jealousy. I was to identify what it was I wanted and decide I get to have it. This is a really phenomenal advice. I want to take it a step further though, because I've now realized In some instances, we kind of don't realize how to give ourselves permission or how is it that we even can receive what it is that we want. Let me kind of, let me use one example that one of my clients had come up with who is building a phenomenal business. And if you've been in business for any length of time, you know, that it, It doesn't happen always on our timeline that there are fits and starts and there are mistakes and there's trial and error and truly an entrepreneurship, your tolerance for failure has to be massive. And if it isn't, this is where a coach is so helpful because we get to reframe everything as learning. We get to extract incredible level, like the ROI on our learning curve. Becomes massive. And as long as we're learning, as long as there's a return on our investment, we get to feel good. We get to know we're making progress. We get to rise with the energy that creates. The success, because we're oriented and working with it. The same is true in our personal lives. So one of my clients who's doing this business building, and she shares with me that she sees somebody post about having written a book and she immediately feels jealous. And it's interesting because I oftentimes, when I see people promoting their books, I have a little twinge of that because, because I know there's a part of me that's ready to be an author, right? And I was able to discuss that with this client, like, is it that you want to write a book? And her answer was no. So I thought that was very interesting. So what is it? About this event that has you feeling jealous, you don't even wanna write a book, what is it? And we were able to discover that for her it was the symbol of success. And I thought, that is so interesting. What does success mean to you? Like, let's dig into it a little bit. What is a successful business, a successful life? And she was able to, we were able to work together to articulate it. Right. Sometimes we need help articulating what our definitions of success and abundance and all the good things are. This is where working with, with a coach is a truly priceless gift. And I was in within 15 to 20 minutes, we were able to detail that she's already living it. She left that conversation riddled in jealousy, feeling less than, feeling inferior, basically outsourcing her power, right? Living from a story that told her she wasn't successful. And as we went through this work together, she left going, damn, right. I get to create what I want. And damn, if I haven't already done that in this way and this way and this way, and this way, and this way, and if there's a, and there were such minor tweaks, right, that allow her to know. That she is successful and that if she wants a different vision of success, because she's so rooted in the success that she's already created, she builds this momentum that lets her know that she gets to create the next version of her successful life. Do you see how fundamentally important this is? So as the holiday season is coming and as we start seeing the perfect, I'm using quotes, but you can't see me cause this is a podcast. As we see people with the perfect family. Okay. And you're starting to feel like you're looking around at these people, some of which you've birthed the other you've picked, right? You married it. You picked it, you know, and you're like, these are my perfect people. When you get to that point where you're like, oh, they're the perfect family. What is it that makes a perfect family get really curious? This is why I think a willingness to explore and a curiosity that is insatiable. Are the only two ingredients you need to radically change your life experience, right? So the willingness is, hey, you hit play, you're already here, you're willing. You're willing to have a new perspective, you're willing to have your mind rearranged, you are willing to experience something new. Also gives you the structure for how to be curious, right? What kind of questions get you answers that change your life? Truly. It is the questions we ask that determine the quality of our life. So good. So the question, when you're starting to feel jealousy, come up, identify what is it, is it the perfect family? Is it the perfect body? Is it the happy, vibrant? Oh, look, she looks so radiant. Is it the success? Is it the money? Is it that like, what is it? And then what is the meaning behind that for you? What would it mean to have that? What would it feel like? What would it look like? And let yourself explore all the ways You already have that. They exist. I promise you they exist. It's already here. It's already yours. And if there's something there for you, like, and I just wish, like, I'm already in this healthy body. I just wish it was this, right? A little more of this. It's like, okay, if I already got back to this body after having these kids, if I If, if I already had this before kids, right, I know I get to have something after I know, I know my body is resilient. I know my body's always listening to my messages. If I had the body that I wanted, how would I feel about my body? Start feeling that now. If I had the perfect family, the one that I imagine exists. How would I feel about my children, about my husband? Can I allow myself to feel some of that now? If I had the wild, most abundant, luxurious life, how would that feel? How would I feel about myself, about money, about people, about life? Can I feel some of that now? The answer is always yes. If you let it be. The other piece here is. I'm going to go back to my grandfather's wisdom. If there's anything you see that you want, you get to have it. Jealousy becomes, gosh, I know the word toxic is so overused, but I'm going to use it. Jealousy becomes toxic when we give in to the story that we've created. That tells us we can never have that jealousy becomes the invitation for you to step into your greatness jealousy becomes the door you walk through. It's the gateway to giving yourself the permission, the power, the confidence, the belief to go for what you want, you get to have it, you get to have it all. And anything that tells you that you can't is a lie, is a life limiting, self limiting belief that you've been conditioned with. Don't make it a problem. So when you feel jealousy, the season, if you're experiencing jealousy, this holiday season, I want you to use that to transform your life. It is here for you. I believe everything is feedback. My jealousy. Is my gateway to my next level of evolution and growth and becoming so I end up greater than I would be otherwise. How could that be wrong? How could that be a problem? Right? In that way. I bless my jealousy. I bless that other person. Thank you so much for showing me where I, what, what my next level is. Thank you for showing me what's possible. all. I didn't even know I really wanted that thing until I saw you having that thing, and then I went, Ooh, I like that. And we turn it into jealousy when we right away assume that we aren't capable. That we can't have it. That it's not for us. That it's for those people. Who are those people? You get to have a life you absolutely love. I'm not going to settle for less. I truly believe that we can each and every single one of us create, live, enjoy, share lives we truly love. And whenever we experience emotions, stressful thoughts, stressful feelings, jealousy can fall into that category. We get to use that as feedback that is beckoning us forward to our next level of growth and evolution. I believe that's why we came here. I believe that that's the journey of life that we're growing or dying. I love that we get to grow together. I really hope this was valuable for you. I know this content changes lives. I get to see it in my clients. All the time. And so this is a process that you get to apply to your life, not just this holiday season, but any time jealousy pops up for you, what is it you really want? No, you get to have it. Look at all the ways you already have a sliver of it. And then look at who would I be if I had even more, how would I show up in my life? How would I relate to myself? The people around me, if I full on had the thing and start to bring that into your everyday identity, your everyday experience, and it will be yours because as within, so without this whole universe is a feed forward feedback system. It's like the infinity sign, but it's an inside job. You give it to you, you embody it, you believe it, and then you be living it. Because how you show up, how you communicate, how you relate, how you carry yourself, how you breathe, how you speak radiates a message. And that message is always being heard. Beautiful. I love that we get to create lives we love. I absolutely love being on this journey with you. Thank you for being here. I love you. If this episode helped you, I want to hear from you. Tell me all the goodness. Tell me the breakthroughs. I want to hear them. I love celebrating with you. Couple things going on. There is going to be a burnout to all out master series. Free coming out, a three day event for smart women who want to love life again. Mark your calendars. We're talking December 17th, 18th and 19th of 2024. We have got Stress Mastery Academy. Access your inner power and unleash more health, happiness, and joyful success in your life that is opening December 13th to the 16th at a ridiculous price. Then it's open from the 17th on through the new year at also a ridiculously amazing price. And what else do I have? Oh, I do have some openings in my one on one coaching practice. I would love to work with you if you are ready for a major transformation in your life. If you want to stop reacting to life and you want to start creating it, that is my jam. And It is the most thrilling work that we'll ever do. I'd love to do it with you. There is space in my VIP one on one coaching hop on that. If that interests you, you have to apply first and, uh, we'll go from there. Beautiful things all around this holiday season. May you know how powerful you are. May you know you get to have it all. May you give yourself permission to trust yourself and trust your journey and trust that the right resources and the right teachers and the right coaches and the right mentors and everything you need will show up to take you there. And it will. I love you. I will see you on the next episode of Dr. Tami Talks. Bye.