Face It! Some People Aren't Going With You!

Not everybody who starts the journey with you will be able to finish it with you. Ruth 1:14 shows us two women standing at the same crossroads, sharing the same grief, but making two completely different decisions. Orpah lovingly kissed Naomi goodbye and returned to what was familiar, while Ruth clung to Naomi and stepped toward an uncertain future of faith.

In this episode of the Intentional Grounding Godcast — Letters to Isaiah, Coach Dombrowski explains how to release people without bitterness, remain committed when others turn back, and recognize the people who are genuinely prepared to walk with you into your next season. Someone else’s decision to leave doesn’t mean you’re headed in the wrong direction. Sometimes God is teaching you to stop chasing who left so you can value who stayed—and keep moving toward the future He has prepared for you.

Transcript

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One of the hardest lessons you'll ever have to learn is that not everybody who starts the journey with you is actually going to finish it with you. Some people are going to love you, some people will care about you, some people will cry when it's time to say goodbye, but they still won't be able to go where you're going. And that can be confusing because we tend to believe that if someone truly loves us, they'll always stay. But love doesn't automatically mean alignment. History doesn't automatically mean destiny. And somebody being an important part of your past doesn't guarantee that they'll have a place in your future. Sometimes two people can stand at the exact same crossroads, hear the exact same invitation, feel the exact same emotions, and still make completely different decisions. One will kiss the past goodbye and turn around. The other will cling tightly to the person, the purpose, and direction God has placed before them. The question isn't whether people will leave. At some point, some of them will. Ruth was leaving her homeland. She was leaving her culture. She was leaving the possibility of familiarity and security. She was choosing a widowed mother-in-law, an uncertain destination, and a God she was still learning to trust. Orpah chose what she knew. Ruth chose what she believed. And sometimes that's exactly where the road divides, not between good people and bad people, but between those who need certainty and those who are willing to walk by faith. And as it continues here, Ruth 1, verse 16, it says, but Ruth replied, Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God, my God. So Ruth's commitment, it went far beyond companionship. She wasn't simply saying, you know what, Naomi, I feel so sorry for you. I'm just going to keep you company. She was making a complete life decision. Where you go, I will go. That's direction. Where you stay, I will stay. That's stability. And your people will be my people. Now we're talking about identity. Your God will be my God. Well, that's faith. Ruth wasn't only choosing Naomi. She was choosing the God Naomi followed. And that is what separates temporary emotional enthusiasm from genuine commitment. Temporary enthusiasm says, I'm with you while this feels right. Commitment says, I'm with you, even though I don't know how it's going to work. Okay. Enthusiasm, it depends on the atmosphere. Commitment survives uncertainty. Enthusiasm, well, it speaks loudly at the beginning, but commitment keeps walking when the excitement wears off. And Ruth's future changed because she committed herself before she could see the outcome. She didn't know that she would eventually meet Boaz. She didn't know that she would become part of the family line of King David. She certainly didn't know that her name would appear in the genealogy of Jesus Christ. She only knew the next faithful step. And that's an important reminder for us. God usually doesn't show us the entire story before asking us to move. He gives us enough light for the next step. And sometimes the people who turn back aren't evil. They simply aren't willing to make that next step with us. Now we're going to move here into Luke 9, verse 62. It says, Jesus replied, No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God. All right. So Jesus uses the picture of somebody plowing a field. Okay. To plow a straight line, the person guiding the plow has to keep looking forward. Okay, when their attention keeps drifting backwards, the path becomes crooked. It doesn't mean we're never allowed to remember where we came from. It means we can't keep allowing what's behind us to control the direction of what's ahead of us. You can't move confidently into a new season while continually asking whether you should return to the old one. Okay. You can't fully embrace what God is building while keeping one hand wrapped around what he told you to release. And you can't base your obedience on whether everyone else agrees to come with you. Okay. Ruth had someone standing beside her who chose to turn back. Okay, but Orpah's decision, it did not become Ruth's decision. That's the lesson. Somebody else's hesitation doesn't have to become your hesitation. Someone else's fear doesn't have to become your fear. And somebody else's need for familiarity doesn't have to pull you away from the unfamiliar place where God is leading you. Okay. Literally, two people can love you and choose different roads. We sometimes simplify relationships too much. We assume the person who stays must be the good person and the person that leaves must be the bad person. Okay. But Ruth one doesn't present Orpah as a villain. Okay. Naomi told her to return home. Orpa listened. She cried. She kissed Naomi goodbye and then she left. Ruth stayed. The difference wasn't necessarily the amount of emotion that they felt. The difference was the level of commitment they were prepared to make. And that matters because someone can love you and still be unable to walk into your next season. They can appreciate what you've meant to them. They can be thankful for the memories. They can cry over the separation. But when the road begins requiring sacrifice, courage, change, or faith, they may choose another direction. That doesn't erase everything you've shared. It just reveals where their commitment ends. And we have to stop believing that every ending means that the entire relationship was fake. Some people were real for the season that they were assigned to. They helped you, you helped them, you grew together, you shared life together, but now the path is separating. Okay? The danger is when you become so desperate to preserve the relationship that you abandon the direction that God has given you. You start negotiating your calling. You start minimizing your growth. You start delaying your obedience. You start shrinking the person that you're becoming so the person who's leaving will feel more comfortable staying. But you should never have to come or become less obedient to God in order to make yourself easier for somebody else to follow. All right. You have to remember a goodbye can still contain love, and it should, right? Orpa kissed Naomi goodbye. That detail is important. The goodbye wasn't filled with hatred, right? There wasn't a screaming match. There wasn't betrayal. There wasn't an attempt to destroy each other. They cried, embraced, and they separated. Some of us need to learn that every relationship doesn't have to end in anger. Sometimes you can release somebody with gratitude. You can honor the memories without chasing the person. You can appreciate what the relationship was without pretending it's still what it used to be. All right. You can pray for them without continuing to pull them into a future that they've already chosen not to enter. Right? You don't have to make someone the enemy just because they're no longer going with you. But you also don't have to abandon your journey because they decided to stop. A peaceful goodbye, friends, is still a goodbye. Okay. And sometimes the most mature thing that you can do is stop demanding explanations from somebody whose decision has already made their position clear. Their departure doesn't always need another conversation. It doesn't always need another argument. It doesn't always need another attempt to convince them. Sometimes you simply have to recognize that they've kissed that season goodbye. Now you have to decide whether or not you're going to stand there watching them walk away or continue towards the place God has called you. All right. Now we talked in Ruth here, we talked about clinging, right? And leaving. Clinging is different from refusing to let go. All right. Recently in previous episodes, we talked about the difficulty of letting go. So we need to understand the difference between holding on to what God has given you and holding on to what God is removing. Ruth clung to Naomi because she had made a faith-filled commitment. Okay. But there are other times when we cling to people, positions, or habits, even environments, because we're afraid of change. The outward behavior may look similar, but the motive is different. Faithful clinging says, God has placed this commitment in my heart, and I'm going to remain faithful. Fearful clinging says I don't know who I'll be without this. So I refuse to release it. Okay. Faithful clinging moves you towards God. It keeps you, you know, it produces courage. Right? Fearful clinging keeps you trapped in the past. It keeps you like wanting to produce control. Faithful clinging says, where God leads, I'll follow. And fearful clinging says God can lead as long as He doesn't change anything that I'm comfortable with. I mean, you have to ask yourself honestly, am I holding on because God told me to remain committed? Or am I holding on because I'm afraid of what happens when I let go? Ruth wasn't clinging to Moab, right? She was clinging to the direction God was using to move her out of Moab. That distinction changes everything. Okay. Now, you don't need everybody to understand your decision. Okay. Look at Ruth. Ruth's decision may not have made sense to everyone around her. I mean, from a practical standpoint, returning home with Orpa probably looked safer. Ruth could have gone back to her family. She could have remained among her own people. She could have pursued a familiar life. Instead, she followed Naomi into uncertainty. That's what faith sometimes look like looks like from the outside. It's unreasonable. It's risky, sometimes unnecessary. People are going to ask, like, well, why are you making this change? Why are you leaving? Why are you staying? Why are you trying again? Why are you forgiving? Why, why are you walking away? You know, why are you choosing the harder path? And you know what? At the same time, there are going to be moments when you can't fully explain it. You simply know that something inside of you refuses to turn back. Not because the road is easy, not because the outcome is guaranteed, but because going backward would require you to betray what God has placed in your heart. You don't need everybody's approval to obey God. And you don't need everybody to accompany you before you begin moving. Sometimes God confirms the direction through the conviction he has placed inside you, not through the number of people willing to come along. So how do you walk it out in real life? Well, first, stop trying to force people to share a commitment they haven't even chosen. Ruth clung to Naomi. Orpah didn't. Naomi couldn't manufacture that level of commitment in either woman, neither can you. Okay, you can invite people, you can encourage them, you can explain the vision, you can show them your heart, but you cannot force someone to be committed. Second, pay attention to the actions, not to the words. Both Ruth and Orpa initially said they wanted to go with Naomi, but the road eventually required a decision. The words tell you what someone feels in the moment. Actions reveal what they're prepared to live out. Third, don't allow somebody else's departure to rewrite the direction that God gave you. It's easy to question yourself when somebody leaves. You start wondering whether you heard God correctly. You start wondering whether the dream is too big. And you start wondering whether you should turn around too. But their decision may have nothing to do with the validity of your direction. Fourth, release people without resentment. You don't have to carry anger into the next season. Bless them. Pray for them. Thank God for what was good and then keep walking. And finally, recognize the roofs in your life. Don't become so focused on the people who left that you overlooked the people who stayed. Someone may be standing beside you right now saying, through their actions, where you go, I'll go. Value those people, right? Honor those people. Pray for those people. Don't punish the loyal people in your life for the wounds that were caused by the ones who walked away. You know, right now you may be standing in the emotional space between a kiss, goodbye, and clinging. Someone you believed would continue with you has chosen another road. Maybe it's a friendship, maybe it's a relationship, maybe it's a family member, maybe it's a coworker who helped you survive a difficult season. Maybe it's someone who supported your dream until the dream started requiring sacrifice. Maybe they haven't physically left, but emotionally they've already turned back, right? And you can feel it. The conversations changed, the support changed, the effort changed. You're trying to carry the relationship forward, but they stopped walking. And here's the reality you may need to accept today. You cannot drag someone into a season they decided not to enter. You're going to exhaust yourself trying. You'll become resentful. You'll start compromising. And eventually you might find yourself standing still simply because you're waiting for someone who has already gone back. Let their choice belong to them. Okay. Your responsibility is to remain faithful to the choice that God is placing before you. Now, here's the mindset shift. Their leaving does not mean you are lost. Okay. Someone turning back doesn't mean you're going the wrong way. Someone choosing comfort doesn't mean your commitment is foolish. Someone failing to understand your next step doesn't mean that God has failed to order it. So stop viewing every departure as a sign that you should reconsider your obedience. Sometimes people leave because the road ahead requires something they're not prepared to give. It doesn't make you better than them. It doesn't make them worthless, right? It simply means your paths are no longer aligned. And instead of asking, why weren't I enough to make them stay? Start asking, what is God asking me to remain committed to, even though they left? I think that question moves you out of rejection and back into purpose. So how do you make the change? Well, you have to give it a name. Name what's changed. Stop pretending the relationship, the partnership, or the connection is exactly what it used to be. Be honest. Something has shifted. Okay. Acknowledging it doesn't make you negative, it makes you aware. Second, separate their choice from your worth. People leave for a lot of reasons fear, timing, comfort, different priorities, lack of readiness. Their decision doesn't automatically mean there's something wrong with you. Don't turn their departure into a verdict on your value. Okay. And third, revisit what God told you. Return to prayer. Return to scripture. Return to the conviction that began the journey. Don't make a permanent decision based on the temporary pain of somebody else who's walking away from you. The fourth, release them without rehearsing the hurt. You don't have to replay the goodbye every day. You don't have to continually analyze what you could have said differently. You don't have to keep reopening a door that God is helping you close. Release them. Not because they didn't matter, but because your future still does, right? Keep walking with the people who remain. Look around you. God may have already placed faithful people beside you. They may not be the people you originally expected, but they're there. They're consistent. They're praying. They're encouraging. And they're walking, right? Don't miss the roof beside you because you're still staring at Orpah in the distance. Okay. If you continue this journey, man, you'll become less afraid of changing relationships. You're going to learn to appreciate people without trying to possess them. You'll learn that love doesn't require control. You'll understand that some people are connected to a chapter while others are connected to the larger story in your life. You'll stop interpreting every goodbye as abandonment. You'll begin seeing some goodbyes as redirection. Okay, your circle may become smaller, but it'll also become much more clear. The people who remain won't be just attracted to the excitement of your vision. They're going to be willing to participate in the cost of it. And you'll become the kind of person who can move forward without bitterness because you'll know exactly that God is capable of providing the right relationships for every season He's leading you into. So tomorrow, when you notice the absence of someone who used to walk closely with you, resist the temptation to chase them emotionally. Instead, take that step forward. Make the phone call you've been delaying, complete the application, start the project, attend the meeting, have an honest conversation, return to prayer. Show up for the people who are still showing up for you. Tomorrow is not about pretending that the loss doesn't hurt. It's about proving that the loss doesn't have the authority to stop your obedience. When the thought comes, I can't do this without them, replace it with God knew who would stay, who would leave, and what I would need before this journey ever began. Then keep walking. You know, there's another powerful truth hidden inside this story. When Ruth chose Naomi, she had no idea that her decision would affect generations. At that moment, it probably felt like a small, deep personal choice stay or leave, follow or return, cling or release. But that private decision became part of a much larger redemptive story. Ruth eventually married Boaz. They had a son named Obed. Obed became the father of Jesse. Jesse became the father of David. And through David's family line came Jesus. Ruth couldn't see any of that when she started and started standing on the road with Naomi. She could only see a grieving woman, an uncertain journey, and a decision that had to be made. That should encourage somebody today. You may think the decision in front of you is small. You might think nobody notices whether you remain faithful. You may believe your obedience only affects your own life, but you don't know what God may build through the commitment you're making right now. You don't know who will be helped because you refuse to turn back. You don't know what family pattern will change. You don't know what door will open. You don't know what future relationship will form. You don't know what legacy will begin because you chose faith over familiarity. Ruth's story reminds us that ordinary obedience can carry generational consequences. The road from Moab to Bethlehem probably didn't feel historic. It probably felt long, honestly, uncertain, exhausting, painful. But every step was carrying Ruth closer to a future she couldn't see yet. Your obedience may feel ordinary too, getting up and trying again, choosing integrity, walking away from the wrong environment, remaining faithful when others leave, continuing to believe when someone else turns back. But heaven may see significance where you only see struggle. God may be connecting your faithfulness to something far beyond your present understanding. So don't measure the importance of your decision by how dramatic the moment feels. Measure it by whether the decision is faithful. You don't have to know the entire outcome. You only have to know which direction God is calling you to walk. Right? There are moments in life that don't look important until you years later on. The day Ruth clung to Naomi was one of those moments. There was no audience, there was no celebration, there was no guarantee. Just two women standing on a road after experiencing tremendous loss. But Ruth's decision left a legacy. Her commitment became part of God's redemptive plan. That means your legacy may be shaped by the decisions you make when nobody is applauding. The moments you refuse to turn back. The moment you remain faithful, the moment you stop chasing someone who has chosen another road. The moment you trust God enough to walk into unfamiliar territory, your children may benefit from that decision. Your grandchildren may benefit from that decision. People you haven't even met may benefit from that decision. Legacy isn't only built through public achievements. Friends, it's built through private commitments. It's built when you say, I don't know exactly where this road leads, but I know I'm not going back to who I used to be. Now to my grandson Isaiah. One day you're going to discover that not everybody who begins the journey with you is going to finish beside you. Some people will be part of your life for many years. Others will only be there for a chapter or two. Some will promise they'll always stay, but when the road becomes difficult, they may choose to turn back. When that happens, don't allow disappointment to harden your heart. Don't become bitter. Don't become, or let's say, don't begin believing that everybody else will eventually leave. Don't spend your life chasing people who've already decided to walk in another direction. You need to love people sincerely, appreciate the memories, learn from every relationship, but always remember that your ultimate direction must come from God. There will also be roots in your life, people who remain loyal when things become uncomfortable, people who pray for you, people who walk with you through uncertainty, people who don't only celebrate your victories, but help you carry the weight of the journey. Recognize those people, value them. Never take their faithfulness for granted and make sure that you become that kind of person for others. Be someone whose commitment means something. When you say you'll pray, pray. When you say you'll show up, show up. When you say you'll walk beside someone, don't disappear the moment that road becomes inconvenient. And above all, cling to God. People may change, circumstances may change, plans may change, but God's faithfulness will always remain. Wherever He leads you, keep walking. Even when someone else decides to turn back. Love Jaji. Friends, imagine, if you will, standing at the fork in the road. One direction leads back to everything familiar. The other leads to uncertain future with God. Someone beside you chooses the familiar road. They hug you, they cry, they say goodbye. Then they begin walking away. You're left standing there with a choice. You can chase them back into a place God is calling you out of, or you can grieve the goodbye, turn your eyes forward and keep walking. Ruth kept walking. And the road she couldn't understand eventually carried her into a legacy she could have never imagined. Today, identify one area where you've been standing still because someone else chose not to continue. Pray for the courage to release them peacefully. Then take one clear step in the direction that God has already placed before you. You're not being abandoned. You're being prepared to recognize who and what genuinely belongs in your next season. Friends, thanks so much for joining me today. If this message encouraged you, share it with someone who is struggling to move forward because someone they expected to say has chosen another direction. Please make sure you follow the podcast and subscribe to the YouTube channel at Coach Dombrowski for a first of the day, some short videos, a faith-based motivation each day to help you stay grounded throughout the week. Until next time, Coach Dombrowski out.