The Bets Life

64. Why Being Slightly Delusional Is the Key to Success With Victoria Popoff Ardis

• Betsy O'Brien

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How do you turn a passion into a business, a movement, and a mission? 

On this episode of The Bets Life Podcast, I’m joined by Pilates instructor, long-time studio owner, and nonprofit founder, Victoria Popoff Ardis. Victoria shares how a chance career in fitness altered the rest of her life (for good), the twists and turns of owning her own Pilates studio, and her passion for building community and helping others through movement.

Victoria and I discuss the transformation of her organization, Pilates Brunch Club, into a nonprofit that supports domestic violence survivors. We also speak about women’s health, perimenopause, and our shared love of cats (certified cat ladies for life). This conversation covers entrepreneurship, hosting with intention, major life transitions, and trusting your gut and timing through every stage of reinvention.


The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters: https://amzn.to/4rNVTrk


Bollandbranch.com and use code thebetslife for 25% off your order over $30

Tryarmra.com use code thebetslife10 to save 10% 


Connect with Victoria: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/victoriapopoff?igsh=MTY3cnA2aXdib2lyZw%3D%3D

Pilates Brunch Club: https://www.instagram.com/pilatesbrunchclub/


Connect with Betsy: 

Visit my website: https://thebetslife.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebetslife/

Love the podcast? Subscribe, rate, review and share: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-bets-life/id1644549737

SPEAKER_01

Hi, and welcome to the Bets Life Podcast. I'm your host, Betsy O'Brien. Join me as I have authentic conversations to share and learn tips and insights into how we all can live our best lives. Lots of laughs, honest topics, and potential overshares are to be expected. Get ready to keep it inspired and also keep it real. Hello and welcome to the Bets Live Podcast. I have Victoria Pop-Up Artist on today's episode, and we are friends and we chat it up. We cover so many topics: Pilates, founding a nonprofit, hosting events, perimenopause, falling in love again, and of course, being cat ladies. I hope you enjoy listening. Thanks for being here. Welcome, Victoria, pop off artist to the Bets Life Podcast. Hello. It's happening. We're doing it.

unknown

We are.

SPEAKER_01

For context, we are very good friends, but we met through the socials. We met through Instagram. You invited me to a Pilates Brunch Club, which we will, of course, unpack in this episode and get into. And then since then, we went from internet friends to IRL friends. And here we are. Now I see you all the time and I love you so much. And it's wonderful. You've also been a sponsor for the podcast before. So we have history. It's about time you came on, and I'm so happy to have you. So excited.

SPEAKER_00

Well, and I love your podcast and all that you do in the world. So I'm like excited to be a part of it.

SPEAKER_01

Yay! Well, welcome. We're gonna dive right in because there's so much that I want to get to, and I know we could talk for four hours together. Okay, so you have been in the fitness industry for 25 plus years. How did you start out in the fitness world?

SPEAKER_00

Okay, this is a great story. And pre-internet. So there used to be a thing called classified ads. And I know, and people would look at them to look for jobs. And so I was 18 years old, did the math. We now know how old I am. And then I thought, oh, that'd be so fun to be an aerobics instructor. Because there was no like Pilates that long ago. There was no, it was just like you could be an aerobics instructor. So I was like, gosh, I want to be like Denise Austin and you know, Buns of Steel Labs of Steel. I want to do all that. That looks like fun. I've wanted to do that since I was a little kid. You know, I'd see Denise Austin on ESPN and she'd be doing her workouts. I'm like, you know, one day I think that'd be so fun. So I answered a classified ad, actually, and I went to work at a very small studio that was designed for medically and clinically obese clients. So I learned to work with special populations right off the gate. That was my very first introduction to fitness in the world of fitness, and it has literally changed the trajectory of my life and my career by doing that.

SPEAKER_01

I did not know that. That is wild. Back in the day, they had the good old classified. Yeah. That's how right away, right away doing it. You were like, oh, this is something I meant to do. Like you absolutely just took to it.

SPEAKER_00

It was so fun and exciting. And you know, when you see somebody make progress, even if it's this little increment, it is very empowering and extremely appealing. So you're like, wow, I helped this person, you know, stand up longer, work out longer. You know, I was working with such a special group of people. It was seated, exercise. We would stand up for a few minutes and sit back down. So that way their heart rate could adjust, their body could adjust. We were building their stamina. So it was very exciting when you're like, wow, somebody just made it through an entire 30-minute workout. Like that is just so reaffirming for you that it's actually working when you see progress, seeing people lose weight when they want to, seeing people become more mobile. It was just, it's very exciting to watch someone improve.

SPEAKER_01

That's amazing. I feel like you're thrown into it right from the start. So good for you. And for those listening, if you haven't taken a class with Victoria, you are meant to do this. Like you are so natural, you make it so fun. Like I said, like what a calling for sure. And not everyone can do it, you know. So I'm glad because I feel like it is part of what you were meant to do for sure. So you start out this. How does Pilates come into the picture? Because to know you is to know that you love Pilates. Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_00

That is something that occurred later in my career fitness. You know, I taught boot camp, water aerobics, sculpt classes, step classes, old school, you know, aerobics. And that was the first few years of my career. I worked at different gyms and it was just a fun job for me on the side. You know, I was going to college and I got to get paid to go to the gym. I got to get paid to work out. I was like, this is the best job ever. When you're 18 and in your 20s, you're like, have so much energy. I was teaching, you know, 30 classes a week and you're doing it with them. Obviously, as we've gotten older, Pilates is wonderful because I don't have to physically do it with the class. I can do little tiny samples or demos here and there, which is nice. But Pilates came around, I was probably in my early 20s, and I remember there was a lady who came to the gym that I worked at at the time, and she's like sold the management on buying these machines, and they were gonna do an education for the trainers that wanted to do it. None of us had ever even heard of Pilates, nobody had heard of reformer. You know, I lived in a very rural town that was not close to a big city, so we were like, what is this thing? And so when we did the training, we kind of all were like looking around, like, is this even a workout? Like, are we even gonna sweat on this thing? Because when you learn, it is so slow. Right. You know, we're used to like, you know, cardio and you know, back in the day, it's like you wanted to sweat, you wanted to feel it. We needed to throw things around and yeah, big, big movements. So when I topped Pilates in the very beginning, I really wasn't so sure about it. I was like, this is so slow and so like stretchy. I didn't love it right away. It was a lot to learn on a piece of equipment was a whole new thing. So that was probably when I was 23 or 24. And they're with the learning curve for sure. Because it's it's something that I even still to this day learn about Pilates and what else is out there, and you're never gonna stop learning when you teach Pilates. It's an ongoing thing. So that was the beginning, and now you know we're 20 plus years in the teaching Pilates. It is something I love, and I, you know, I think anyone can do it. I think that's why I like it so much, is it can be adjusted for if you're injured, you don't want to move. If you want to stay in a chair, you want to lay down. The laying down is pretty appealing. For the workout. Yes, I want to lay down and work out. And the reformer really just became a tool. I still love Matt Pilates, but the reformer, you know, it's appealing to people because it's interesting, it's different, it's something that feels, you know, you can feel the resistance right away.

SPEAKER_01

Can you explain if someone is not familiar? Because obviously you know I'm familiar because I'm a fan. I've done Pilates now really consistently for the past couple of years. But there's Matt Pilates, there's reformer Pilates, there's mega former Pilates. What's going on here? Can you give a brief overview?

SPEAKER_00

Well, the world has expanded, right? A man named Joseph Pilates started Pilates. He was a German man. He came over to the United States and he had this method that he really was rehabbing people with this method of injuries and not feeling well and rehabbing their body, right? And then he slowly started to build equipment that essentially has spring loads on it. So the springs were used as resistance to create symmetry through the body, to create flow through the body, just to make sure that when you're symmetrical and your body works evenly on both sides of your body, everything feels better. When we're walking around like this, something doesn't feel good. So it was definitely, yeah, definitely to make our body feel better. And the method has been passed down through generations. So people that are really deep into the Pilates community, they talk about what generation teacher they are. I'm a fourth generation, which means my teacher taught with someone who taught with Joseph Pilates. So they do this thing by generations. Yeah. I know third generation, I don't think I know anyone in the second generation anymore. I don't know if anyone's alive still. It's been many, many years. Yeah. So he passed.

SPEAKER_01

I never knew it was like related like that, though. That's so interesting.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, and there's so many types of Pilates, and the consumer usually doesn't know the difference. They're just like, oh, Pilates is Pilates. But there really is a true blue method of Pilates, classical, contemporary. Then we have kind of the sub-units. We have the megaformer, we have X former, we have a different genre that has occurred. It's more like boot camp on the reformer, or stamina on the reformer, or strength on the reformer. So you are gonna get different methods, and you just have to do what you like, honestly. You gotta go, you gotta try them, you gotta find out what is what feels good for me. There's no right or wrong answer there, but I do think there's a lot of Pilates police out there that want to say, this is the way to do it, and this is the only way to do Pilates. And I just don't think it's that serious. I think you need to find a movement pattern that you like and that you want to stick to doing because the biggest holdup is not staying consistent. So if you like Zumba, you just keep doing that. If you like walking, you just keep doing that. So if once people find an exercise modality they like, I really the best advice I can say is just stick to that. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing.

SPEAKER_01

I agree because I know like old school classic Matt Pilates, that's a little slow for me. I like more the strength training, I like more the resistance with a reformer Pilates class. Personally, personally, totally that's everyone's different. Like some people, they're like, that's too much, you know?

SPEAKER_00

I love a vibe. I want the microphone, I want the music, I want like a vibe when I'm teaching or taking a class. Like, I want the feeling. I I don't like strict, like do it like this, and then no music. I'm like, my brain, my ADD goes nuts. I'm just like thinking about every list. Is my dog still inside? What's happening did I did I trim? Did I unplug that thing over here? I can't do the no music. Cannot do the no music. I gotta have music, I gotta have a vibe, I gotta have a feeling.

SPEAKER_01

I agree. Like sometimes I'm like, is that Shakira plane? Is that what's getting me through this? Like, that's the only reason I'm able to do disassociate into the music.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and you're like, ooh, I like this song. Let me sing along.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, for sure. 100%. My like millennial woman relay comes out, and I'm like, oh, there it is. Are we putting in some beaming?

SPEAKER_00

Like dancing. You gotta disassociate a little bit during your workout.

SPEAKER_01

Totally. Okay, and then fast forward, obviously, from you, fitness, getting into Pilates, you launched your own studio, Studio V for Victoria.

SPEAKER_00

You know, I didn't tell anybody that I just let them understand what they wanted to make out of the name. I was also 29 when I did that. I'm taking it as it's named after you.

SPEAKER_01

Is it not named after you?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, it is, but I don't tell anyone that. Just because everyone called me V, the logo is in the form of a teaser, which looks like a V. Right, in like a Bladies position that over time. And you're like, was that a good idea? Because if I ever want to sell this business, you have to disconnect your image from the business. That was an interesting caveat that I did not think about when I was 29. But yeah, Studio V. 14 years, almost 15.

SPEAKER_01

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SPEAKER_00

I will tell you, you know, when you're that age, I don't think you think of risk very much. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I think you're thinking like sentence.

SPEAKER_00

This is gonna be so fun. Oh my god. Let's live in my own place. This is gonna be all my friends are gonna come. We're gonna have the best time ever. And then the reality sets in that your friends are probably not going to come and you can't really get offended. They're gonna go where they want to go. And then it's expensive to run a business. The overhead of the business, you know, you don't consider all the facts. I also did not start with a plan. I was just like, hey, I'm gonna sign a three-year lease. What's the worst that could happen? I can close it in three years if I don't like doing this. And I I literally thought, I will run the whole thing myself. I'll teach all the classes, I'll run the front desk, I'll answer the emails, I'll do the marketing. How hard can it be? Well, it was harder than I expected. And within the first probably four months, I was also the second Pilates studio in my town to open. Okay, so no one had ever really heard of it. When you're one of the first to do something, and then you have great marketing or great reach, the amount of people that are going to come in was so overwhelming to me that I had to hire people right away. And there's two people that I called, and they actually still work for me to this day, Sonia and Julie, who are some of my best friends. I trust them, respect them, and they came to work and we just did the dang thing. I mean, all we did was wake up and teach, go to sleep and teach. And we did it over and over and over until we hired more people, grew our team. And that really was not what I expected. And I will tell anyone who's like, oh my God, I want to have my own place. I'm like, do you really though? Like, let's talk about it. Because number one, you've got to have a strategy or a plan. That was one mistake that I didn't think about at that age. And why would I need one? I just need to make money. Well, you have to do projections, you've got to figure out what your bottom line is, how much is it gonna cost to open tentative improvements, lease improvement? I mean, there's so much and so many layers to opening a business that I would say get a mentor. I'm happy to help people too. I love talking to people in the beginning creation stages of things because you really have to run the numbers and ask yourself, is this gonna work in my life? Absolutely. No, absolutely. So much. I think I got very lucky, I will say, in the beginning. I had the right people. It was the right time and it was the right opportunity. I was also in grad school at the time and I had a full-time offer of a job at the time that I was like, I'll come back to this if this doesn't work out. Obviously, this worked out, so I didn't go back to that. I kind of gave up another career path to do this one and just jumped in fully into it. I like that though, that just humbled.

SPEAKER_01

When you're like, oh yeah, I'll be work at the desk, I'll be doing the like accounting, I'll be teaching the classes.

SPEAKER_00

40 hours every day I can do this. No problem. Yeah. It was um optimistic, just optimistic to a fault. That is one thing I will say. Don't consider failure like ever. I always think I'm gonna succeed. And maybe that's like some delusion in my head, but I like the delusion. I'm happy I have it because I never consider failure ever. I'm like, no, it's gonna work out. I am the most optimistic person of like, nope, we're gonna figure it out. It's gonna be fine.

SPEAKER_01

Well, you're gonna figure it out and you're gonna outsource. You know, at some point, like there comes to be like a rock and a hard place where you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I can't do all these things. So I have to build a team, I have to expand. That's just the reality I feel like of starting a business where you get to a certain point and you're you don't have the time in the day, you don't have the resources, nor maybe are you the best person for the job.

SPEAKER_00

No, I'm telling you what, anything with numbers and accounting, I was like, I'm sorry, what is this QuickBooks thing? I was like, this is offensive. So that was the first thing that I was like, oh Lord, baby Jesus, like we're gonna need help right here because girl did not get those skills.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I think it's a good idea because it's not that you want to be like a Debbie Downer, but even when someone comes to me, they're like, Oh yeah, I really want to start a podcast. I'm like, okay, well, do let's, you know, like there are a lot of realities of doing any kind of career or jumping into any entrepreneurial endeavor that people just don't think about until they're actually doing it. Like, and you can't know until you know. Until you do it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And it does sound exciting. And there is so much positive. I mean, it has given me so many opportunities in my life by having a business, but also like so much sadness and so much loss that you go through owning a business because the business becomes your first priority. If you want success, you have to put it above a lot of other things. So you do have loss that you experience and you do sacrifice a lot of your personal life to make sure that you have success.

SPEAKER_01

Right. Yeah, I didn't think about that avenue. You felt that with like your personal relationships.

SPEAKER_00

I do. Just because you know, you miss a lot of things. You have to work now. It's very dependent on you and you alone. So you do miss birthdays, you do miss trips you want to go on with your friends, you do miss opportunities that you normally would be at. But when you're the sole proprietor, you do have to sacrifice things because it's your business, it's your first priority now. Like if it's your main income source, that definitely puts more pressure on you to make profit.

SPEAKER_01

Of course, right. We're going to then keep skipping ahead because then you went on to found Pilates Brunch Club in 2017. And I know you are so passionate about bringing women together and creating community. So, how did Pilates Brunch Club come about?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. It was about, let's say that, six years after I opened my studio. And you know, you have to reinvent yourself when you have a business. You have to find new avenues, people to come to you. And I will say, even myself, it is intimidating to go into a new place if you don't know anyone and try out a class or be by yourself, or am I gonna know anybody? That I feel like is a normal human reaction. So I thought, what if I can create a outside space that is really welcoming and fun and inviting, and any woman would want to be at, you know, live music, we get a DJ, we got drinks, we got food, we got shopping, and maybe we have a little workout also. And it introduces them to the idea bodies. This is way before social wellness and fitness was out and about. It was kind of this like I went to a restaurant that I knew locally and was like, what do you think of this idea? You guys you have this huge grassy area, we would bring out a DJ, people would do a class, you guys serve brunch, and it literally was this organic explosion. And the same thing happened with this, where I thought I could teach it, I could organize it, I could bargain it myself. And then it was like a hundred people are coming to your event, which becomes a logistical, not nightmare, but so many complexities of flow of where are they all gonna sit. Do we have maths? Are they bringing, I mean, everything detail-wise you can think of. And so I became an event planner essentially after this point. So Peters Runch Club, nine years of that. I think that's good math on that. I think I've been doing it for nine years too. Anyways, I just I was like, let's see where it goes. We did a monthly event at this restaurant for many years, and it was awesome. It was a great party. Everyone loved it, they had a great time. And then I started to get a little burnt out because I was like, okay, I'm just throwing a party every weekend for people, and they're having a great time, but where's the depth? I think as you get older, you always are looking for more meaning and more depth in things. So as the evolution of Pilates Runch Club happened, you know, we started to expand. We'd go to NAFA, we've been to did one in Chica, we've done one in San Diego, you know, and then Santa Barbara, the last three, four years. I love the expansion. It gives me a new challenge, new venue, new people, new everything. It's just a new vibe. I thought, what am I passionate about? What am I good at? And then how can I do more than just having a Pilates party? So 2024, we got our nonprofit certification to become a full-fledged 501c3, which was a dream. So much work to become a nonprofit, I will say that. It's like understanding a whole new business. So once we did that, I mean, I've just been like, let's go to the next level. We want to raise as much as we can. So 2025, we raised$30,000 through these events. Yeah. Which I put that number out there just thinking, okay, I think I can do this. Again, delulu a little bit, but that's okay. And we gave it all back to domestic violence survivors because I feel like this is a topic that's really hard to talk about and uncomfortable, and it's not really talked about as much. And I have so many friends who have gone through this. I have been in abusive relationships myself. So I just was so passionate about we need more services, we need these shelters to feel like they have our support and we needed to highlight them. So it's been a really great change up. For PVC that I have just enjoyed more and more every time we do it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think what you said rings true that of course, after any time of doing something, you're gonna want to spice it up in a different way. And then I also think like you're like, yeah, this community and gathering and what having women have a fun time together is great, but like what more can we do? And I think it's so appropriate, I guess, or like such a great segue for you with these women-focused events you're already doing, then to give back to women-focused organizations and philanthropies. Exactly. So it's like very nice pairing.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah. And I think the stat is everyone knows someone. So of course everybody knows someone who has been through it or is currently going through it themselves because it can happen to anybody. And there's so many levels, I feel like, to what domestic violence is. It's emotional, psychological, spiritual, financial. It doesn't always come as physical. It's not always bruises that you see. So I feel like just educating people on what abuse is and what domestic violence looks like and what it can look like. I think people are like, oh my gosh, like I think my friend might be in this type of situation. So just giving us the words and making it okay to talk about, I feel like normalizes the conversation. The more we talk about it, the more people are aware, the better we're we're doing for people that need help. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

I want to know more about the process because I know it's just like anything, a journey to go from business to nonprofit. So because I know someone listening probably is like, I've always wanted to start a nonprofit, or like, oh, I have this avenue that I'm doing, I'd love to turn that. So, what could you give tips-wise to people that might be thinking of wanting to pursue that as well?

SPEAKER_00

Well, you know what's really helpful, and I know we all have access is chat GPT. And I will say, you can you can ask our good buddy chat a lot of questions and they will give you direction. Obviously, they're not gonna give us legal advice there, but I do think it will give you direction of is this really something you want to do? So a lot of nonprofits, a lot of them don't make money or they they are very, very low on what you're gonna get paid. So that is one thing people are like, how do I make money? I'm like, you can, but it means like you need to make more. If you're gonna donate money, give away money, you need to make more. And the first and best bit of advice is hire a lawyer that is good at nonprofits. I don't think it's a safe move for myself to try and do the documents and go through the legal process and the IRS stuff without legal counsel.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

So I would definitely say if you're thinking about a nonprofit, ask all the questions to our good buddy chat, and then find a lawyer that specializes in nonprofit and just work with them. It's a lengthy process, it's not gonna happen overnight. I do think that there is a long waiting period, and getting stuff approved and back takes a lot of time. So you need to be extremely patient also.

SPEAKER_01

Because how long did it take you, probably from like start to finish, to really get it fully approved and done?

SPEAKER_00

At least a year. So at least, and that's like they weren't backed up. So who knows how many documents they have to look through. You kind of just go into the queue and you get there when you get there. So it all just depends on what's in front of you.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Yeah, I think it's great, and I'm so excited for this next chapter for PBC and the amount of money you're raising is very inspiring and like it's just your giving back to the community. Like it's such a I don't know. I'm I'm just very impressed by you and what you have turned PBC into.

SPEAKER_00

And this year I think the goal is gonna be$50,000 because again, Delulu, and I feel like I can do it. So why not? I feel like you can do it too. You go, girl.

SPEAKER_01

I know, like you can. I believe, I believe if you're you say you're gonna do it, you're gonna do it. That's like the title of this episode. It's gonna be like how to be delusional with Victorian.

SPEAKER_00

And like, and successfully delusional, like it just works. How to be guys, be delusional because if you set goals, you talk about them. I do believe you make these like micro decisions and little tiny changes to get you there. So the more I talk about it, the more I'm like, no, I'm gonna do this. It just starts happening. I look back on old phones because I don't get rid of things because I'm also a hoarder, and I look back on my notes and like I'll write down what I want to accomplish or what I think I want to do, and almost every single thing has come true. It's nuts. Wow. So I really believe in something about talking about it, writing it down, putting it in the universe, telling your friends. I don't care if it sounds delusional. I think that's my middle name now.

SPEAKER_01

Before we would have been like, oh, it's delusional, or you're like high in the sky is now manifesting. You know, honestly, like I feel like the whole viewpoint about that has changed so much. I feel like back in the day you would have been like, no, no, no, I don't want to say stuff because I don't want to jinx it, or I don't want to like you know, put the cart in front of the horse. And now I feel like people are like, what do you mean? You have goals, you're not writing them down, you don't have a vision board, you're telling everyone you know. Like the whole theory behind it has changed so much, and I'm with you. Like, I like writing stuff down, I like reflecting year to year. I think we share that very optimistic, positive outlook where it's like, why not? Right? Yeah, like why not? Why not me? Why couldn't that happen? Right, why not be? I mean, I'm here with you blogging and podcasting, and I have the delusion too.

SPEAKER_00

So join the delusional girl group. I mean, it works though. If you really believe in something, I mean, we've all known this. We work towards that in our mind, unconsciously, even. So why not believe it's for you?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Start to make those moves small, small and steady and keep reaching. Exactly. You have hosted about one million events. I'm obviously exaggerating, but it feels like you do have events, even just personally, you like to host so much. You like again like to bring people together in every sense of the way, I feel like in every facet of your life. So if people are into hosting and event planning, what advice can you give them? Because I feel like you are a great person for this topic.

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna give a recommendation. There's a really good book. And it's by Priya Parker, and she is like the most excellent bring people together I've ever, ever read. And I cannot think of the name of the book, but she is very well known. I've read her book multiple times. Priya Parker, please look her up because this book is amazing. I think it's called Why People Gather. Okay, I'll put it in the notes. It's unbelievable. You know, if you don't like where you live, if you don't like what's going on around you, you have to create something you enjoy. And I feel like I grew up in such a rural place that didn't have a lot of things going on, and it didn't have a lot of opportunity for fun events and you know, big city type of stuff that I was like, dude, why can't I just create it myself? Why do I have to go somewhere else to do this? I want to do this right here. So I think that that was kind of my basis. But if you want to create events, I feel like, yeah, write them down, write ideas down. How do you want people to feel? I always think about that. Like, how do you want people to feel? How do you want them to leave? What is the experience you want them to have? And then what are the things to do to get there? And it starts before the event even starts. How you invite people, the vibe that you're setting, the expectation as the host, you have a lot of responsibility, the flow of the event, keeping the guidelines of how you set up the event. I think the host has a lot of job to do, but I love a good, well-run event, and I love attending events too, because I love to not be the one in church. So, yeah, if you want to do events, write them down. Get a journal, write your ideas down, look on, you know, there's blogs, pancrests. I mean, the internet is so full of creative ideas. I get a lot of my sparks like late at night. So I'm a late-night person, and I'll be like, that sounds like such a good idea. Or I'll get inspiration from other people's events. And that's something that happens all the time. People come to my event and they're like, oh my God, I want to do this. And I love it when they get that kind of inspiration.

SPEAKER_01

I feel like I didn't know what you're saying, like to add on, like until seriously, like a few years ago, that I could do like an end time for an event. And that even that has like changed the like I feel like the parameters of event. Because I feel like I used to host and I used to be like make it so accessible for everyone, like, oh, come over and like how for you want to come early because you have to put the kids down later, you want to come later because you have this going on. And then I felt like I'd be hosting for like no joke, 10 hours. And Patrick and I by the end would be like shells of ourselves. Right. And I'd be like, I love this. He's like, Do you love this? You know? So I feel like even following that, being like, okay, here are hours we're hosting, here's like clear communication about like, do we need people to bring things? What are we covering? Like, I've just gotten so much clearer about it because when I've left it more like quote, easygoing or like flexible, I find that usually that like backfires a little bit or it stresses me out, or other people don't know. Like, I think people like kind of being told what to do in a way.

SPEAKER_00

100% people love direction. You know what I like is if you go on a group trip, you know what they really like? It's to be told what we're wearing, okay? And what's the dress code? And that helps so much, especially as a woman. It helps with your packing, it helps you to know exactly what the expectation is, and people like to know what's the expectation. So make it clear. What is the expectation? Are we wearing Christmas festive stuff? Are we doing pink party? What are we doing and what level are we at? I do think people love direction.

SPEAKER_01

I agree. Everyone's on the same page. You know, you're not showing up in a ball gown and someone's in ripped jeans and a crop top, and you're like, oh, cool, cool, cool. Like, I think people like to be on the same page. Well, not everyone likes a theme, but I like a theme personally as well.

SPEAKER_00

You know, if they don't like a theme, they don't have to come. That's the beauty of it, is that you set up the expectation as a host. And if someone doesn't like it, they don't have to go. They know exactly what's happening, and they get to choose. And I think that that's really powerful. I'm not gonna let it be like, oh, I'm not gonna really tell them what's gonna go on. Then when they get here, they're like, this is horrible. I feel so uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

So, you know, let people know ahead of time. I think the communication is like overcommunicate. Tell them more than they need to know.

SPEAKER_01

My mom recently, because we have family in town, and first things I made a like a spreadsheet. Because I was like, this is what everyone wants to make. What are we gonna need? Like, where are the holes here? Do we need another appetizer? Do we need and my mom later was like, I don't know if we need a spreadsheet again. And I was like, Okay. We always need a spreadsheet, mom. And I so then I didn't do it. I didn't do it. And then recently she apologized to me. She's like, hey, I have to admit I owe you an apology. I understand now why you wanted to do the spreadsheet and why that's so helpful to organize people. And I was like, uh, thank you. Yeah, I agree. Always nice to have a spreadsheet or a shared Google doc. Come on.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, and especially for any event, that document is your lifeline. You're like people's confirmation, their numbers, all the vendors you use, people that are coming to you, have they all confirmed? Like when you throw an event, you are depending on so many people to show up. And we both we've been disappointed. People have no showed, they've showed up late, and then your event takes a different route. You know what I'm saying? So then I only use vendors that are reliable. I only use vendors that do what they say they're gonna do. And if they don't, I never use them again. I mean, honestly, you have to create our little network of people that you trust.

SPEAKER_01

No, and even for scheduling, if someone is not doing a good job of getting back to me is kind of being flaky, it's like, I'll send that, and then they don't, or they're like very usually I'm like, this isn't a good sign. And maybe you sometimes people can get their ish together and they can figure it out, but I'm not willing to usually take the risk of like, hey, you're not really communicating with me, you're not really doing what you're saying. So I'm not gonna wait till the day of this event and then have you bail on me or have you show up unprepared because that's not gonna fly with me. Yeah, and just hoping for the best is not gonna work. Right. Exactly, exactly. Okay, love these tips. These are great. Other thing I want to talk to you about that you've been very open about, which I think is so important for women and women as they age, is you have discussed your kind of start or entrance into perimenopause. What have you learned being a woman in your early to start to be mid 40s? What can you share about the process, about uncovering so much about hormonal health, etc.?

SPEAKER_00

Well, I'll tell you what, first of all, no one told us anything. Okay. That's the number one thing right there. What they told us is not accurate because I remember being in health class in high school, and all you hear about is menopause and hot flashes, and your period's gonna stop. That's all we knew. I didn't know anything. And also, my mom had a hysterectomy way early, so she never went through any of this. So she never had information to like displace onto me. So the learning of this has been a little bit of a harder uptick, but I will say over the last two years, the information has been coming like a snowball now. To where I am so excited for the younger generation because I feel like care is gonna be different now. I feel like women are gonna have health care looked at in many stages: puberty, fertile years, and then periomenopause to menopause. And I think that a lot of times in the past, once you're no longer fertile or you're done having babies, you're very much pushed to the side. You need to take birth control to regulate your hormones. And here is that antidepression medication, which what are we doing? You know, I'm saying, so I was like, girl, I'm not gonna take birth control in my 40s. That doesn't make any sense to me. It just doesn't make sense, doesn't compute. So you're not super worried about like that anymore. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What exactly am I doing this for? So yeah, it's like, and my husband has had a vasectomy. So, like, why would I put something in my body to it doesn't make it? Like, I definitely do not really need this, yeah. So I will say the woman that I love, her information, and she's probably late 50s now, is Dr. Mary Claire Haver. She is amazing at delivering real information, and she's funny. She's written books, she does conferences, and she has a website that literally will list OBGYNs and doctors that are well versed in hormones and perimenopause and menopause. And I love this doctor. There's someone here locally in Santa Barbara too that I absolutely love, Laura, and I can't say her last name, Dr. Laura Costa Well Women. Love her. She's amazing. Great. And she's a great resource. She'll even do telehealth with you if you're not local to the area. So I think it's super important you're with someone who understands. Because I think if you're with a doctor that's like, you don't need hormones, you're not going through anything yet, you look fine. That is the wrong answer. Because yeah, I look fine, but like how I feel sometimes, I can just tell is off. Or I'm waking up at 3 a.m. and I know this is a common one. There's so many symptoms that we didn't even know about. Frozen shoulder is one of them. So, like, what the heck is that? Right. Yeah. So I think that there is a lot to learn, and I'm so happy that it's being talked about. But my journey has been interesting because I love knowledge and I will go down a rabbit hole and I will stay there until I consume as much information as I can.

SPEAKER_01

Yep, yep, I believe.

SPEAKER_00

I believe. It's like every like documentary, I'm like, oh my god, did you know this happened? And then I dive into like the docuseries and I'm like, let me learn about these people. And then I go into like everywhere in the world you can find information about them, and I get very much into it. So this is the same kind of thing, my little many obsessions. I think it's a feature of ADB also.

SPEAKER_01

Our little hyperfixation. It's like a hyper, yeah, right, hyper-focused, hyperfixation. No, but I agree with you. I mean, I think I'm not quite at the perimetopause age yet, but I mean, just dealing with starting before I turn 30, just my hormonal health and PCOS, and I mean, it took me so long to get diagnosed with that. And the same kind of thing where I can sympathize, where it was very dismissed. It was very like, well, you still look okay. Oh, you're gaining a little bit of weight, uh, so does everyone. Oh, that's not working for you anyway. Oh, uh, you know, it was like really, really frustrating. And I think women's health is so behind where it needs to be and has been studied so often for even men. I mean, yes, it's well like a nightmare. So we won't even get into all that. But like, I just think now there is so much power and knowledge, and I think looking at women's symptoms and actually listening to them and honestly believing women. It just comes down to really believing women. For so long, it's like, oh, you're just overreacting, now you're a little hot, it's fine, you'll be fine. I think it's just been so dismissed that women go through such a big change. I mean, a big hormonal shift, and it's just supposed to be like, all right, get over it. Like, aren't you happy you don't have your period anymore? Like, all right, move along. Like, it's so wild that that has been the response. And now I know I don't know how you feel about the hormone replacement therapy. I know that's becoming such a larger topic of conversation.

SPEAKER_00

I'm all about that. And I will say, like, something that does also shift is your sex drive. And that's so important when you have a partner, right? And if you lose your sex drive, imagine if a man lost his sex drive. Those doctors would be like, here's the fix. Well, there's like 12 pills on the market, right? Like if a woman loses her sex drive, it's in her mind. There's no real like fix for it. So I think now we're really addressing like different levels of symptoms and different layers and what hormones actually do, what estrogen actually does when you need estrogen in your body. You feel like you see the world in color again. It's a whole new thing. So I'm a huge fan of meeting with your doctor, talking about all your symptoms. Go to someone who has experience and tell them your symptoms, and then don't be afraid of taking hormones. You know, they're gonna start you off really, really small anyways, just to be safe, and they're gonna slowly move the dial to see what the number is that you need. And once you get the right stuff, you're like, I feel like I'm 25 again. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_01

Yay. Well, that's so encouraging to hear. And I know you're still young. I mean, I know you're at the start of the journey.

SPEAKER_00

So I think it's good to talk about, just like anything with women's stuff. I think we talk about it more, we bring it more into the light. And then, you know, girls in their 20s right now, I feel really excited for them because when they get to this stage, the knowledge is gonna be so much more than we what we had. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I think about that. I didn't know five years ago. I hadn't even I hadn't even one girl that had PCOS. We had, you know, a couple of but very different symptoms because there's a variety, right? It's it's a spectrum. And I hadn't heard no one talk about, you know, no podcast, nothing. I had no information on it. And only in the last few years, and a couple years now I've heard about younger girls getting diagnosed. And now people know about it and have heard about it. And I'm like, right, this is so different. I wish I would have had, obviously, I've done a podcast episode about it, so people have learned that, but like I did that. It wasn't easy for me to do, but I did that because that's the resource I would have wanted. So now I think about oh, a 25-year-old woman listening to that episode, that's probably like, huh, maybe this is something I could look into. I feel like I didn't have that information or those resources even five years ago. So such changes and strides are being made in women's health and hormonal health. I really do believe. And talking about, like you said, just giving women any little stepping stone into that extra knowledge and information, and like, oh, hey, I've been having frozen sh I had no idea that could be related.

SPEAKER_00

That is a that is a shocking one where people are like, wait, this is related to periomenopause. And I'm like, Did there's 80 symptoms that are related to periamenopause? The other one we hear about is brain fog. Yeah, sure. And we always just think, oh, it's in your mind because we've been told for so long. And you know, we gotta do better. We just gotta do better.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I agree. I agree. We are certified cat ladies together. Oh, we sure are. You have this is a real title. I do. Certified delusional lady. Let's just add that to that. We'll just keep attacking on for this episode. I'm just kidding. You have six, I have two. You gotta hit the people with the cat mom tips and tricks.

SPEAKER_00

Let's do it. The cat stuff. So here's my deal. When I met my husband, I had zero cats. Here's my deal. I had zero cats. So I feel like part of this is a cat daddy thing, okay? Because I don't think I had zero cats.

SPEAKER_01

I didn't know that. When you met Brad, you had zero cats. Zero cats. Why didn't why didn't you have any cats? I thought you like always had cats.

SPEAKER_00

When I was a younger girl and I lived with my parents, yes, but cats never found me until I found Brad. Well, literally.

SPEAKER_01

I am shocked. I had no idea.

SPEAKER_00

So I feel like this is a like a two-part thing, right? Like I am with someone I feel safe, content, and happy with, which had not happened in a very long time. So I feel like the energy I put out into the world was everybody come to me and you can stay here and I'll take care of you. So I feel like one cat showed up and I was like, oh, this is great. This cat literally walked in our house and I was like, oh, we're gonna keep you. You're so cute. He would sleep in bed, whatever. One other cat showed up, not strays. One was a neighbor cat that actually decided they want to live with us instead of the neighbor. So that was a little bit of a sitch. Sticky. The neighbor, we still co-parent and she's still cool. I take care of him, take him to the vet. I mean, once you have a cat's teeth extracted, they're my cat. Okay, like we're just we're just gonna we're just gonna deal with that.

SPEAKER_01

That's not a cheap bill. So I feel like you have some agency there. It's true.

SPEAKER_00

And I would just find old cats that were injured or not well, and then I would just nurse them back. To health until they were tame. And most of them come in the house. They live outside and outside. We have little cat condos, we have heating pads, we have food stations, we have water stations. Everyone has a little house outside. And then as as time has gone on, Brad would find the kittens, which is not me. This is a Brad thing that my husband. He found this kitten at his work. And he was like, We're not keeping this cat. Just come over here and get it. And then, and I have lots of friends who have rescues. And then, you know, then he meets the cat and he's like, Maybe we should keep it. So that's not a me thing. The adding on has been a him thing. So now we're up to six. I would take more if we had a bigger house, but I feel like we're at max capacity with like everybody in and out and all the things and they need, and everyone has different dietary resources.

SPEAKER_01

When you guys travel, I mean you split time between Modesto and Santa Barbara. So like that's a factor as well, I believe.

SPEAKER_00

We have an amazing cat set her though that I will tell you, she comes and stays at our house because the cats, I like them to stay on their routine. I don't want them to feel alone. So she's amazing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Okay, so now we have the truth that Brad is part of the problem. Yeah. Cat daddy's the cat daddy. Yeah, I do. That's like Patrick. Patrick would get a third cat tomorrow. And I'm like, what is happening? We have so many big oh my God. Also, the way that Patrick would redesign our home, like we would have those crazy cat trees and we'd have like tunnels outside. I'm not kidding. This is like not. He's like, what if we did like an outside pop-up thing? We could have tunnels and what are you talking about? We have indoor cats. We already have this catio, like in our house. We have an inner catio that they can go out and get that like outdoor experience, as you've seen. No, he like wow. I better not. See, I'm I'm I'm like have to have blinders on. If I saw a stray, I'd be like, oh, here we go. Like it would be over. But obviously, I get my fix when I've volunteered at rescue cats and all that is the temptation is so strong, it is hard.

SPEAKER_00

They shift at my house. I can't say no.

SPEAKER_01

No, I know in my backyard.

SPEAKER_00

No, that's true. What am I gonna do?

SPEAKER_01

That's what do they call that? The cat distribution system. That's like you've been chosen by the cat distribution system and you just have to like take it on.

SPEAKER_00

I'm okay with it. I'm actually if I did not have to make any type of income, I would literally do that full time. Like I would have like condos built, I would have feeding, like it would be a much bigger operation. And I'd probably have 20 cats. And I'd be like, people call me all the time. I have a stray cat. I found a cat. What do I do? So you know, I direct into rescues people, fosters, whatever. But I'm like, I would love to take them all.

SPEAKER_01

I feel that this could be in your future. It would not surprise me. It would be retirement. We'll have our own little cat cafe. Patrick and I will volunteer. Yeah, Patrick's talked about the cat cafe too. He's talked about that whole endeavor, and I'm like, okay, okay. You can read some books, sip on tea, pet some cats. It is a dream. It's not like the worst environment, can you imagine? Like going to work. You're like, oh, just let me. I know. See I'm not sure. Obviously, like we've talked about more work behind everything than you think. It's not just playing with cats. But my thing is because we have the floofy ones. I'm like, we have enough cat hair, we have hairballs happening, you know, the whole thing. Like, I'm like, we don't need another one. Same thing. Maybe if we had a bigger home one day, but you know, if you want to talk about this, I was just hearing you talk about Brad. It made me think about like, you guys are such a good example of finding love the second time around. Yeah. And like getting married a little later in life. I don't know. I just love your relationship and it's fun to see because I kind of met you guys when you were engaged. And then obviously now you've since been married and you've celebrated your first year anniversary. And like, I don't know, what do you tell women that are in their 20s maybe or that are going through divorces or that feel like, oh, I'm starting all over? I just feel like you're such an inspiration for what can come, like the joy you can have in the relationship you can find a little later in life.

SPEAKER_00

It's a great one to talk about, honestly. You know, I had kind of written off finding someone. I had been like, you know, I have a house, I have a business, I have everything I need. I'm totally self-sufficient. I don't really need a man. I was pretty happy with my life at that point. I just thought, I'm gonna stay single. I had been through really horrible relationships. I was married a very short amount of time previously for three months. I don't even really count it. I mean, it's such a short time that as soon as we got married, I knew it was wrong. I knew it was not gonna work. And I tried to get out as fast as I could. So I feel like when you're younger, you're in this timeline where you feel like you have to do things on a certain timeline. I want to graduate by this time, I want to meet a man, I want to get married, I want to have babies by a certain time. I never held myself to a timeline, and I will say that is one thing that has worked out well is that I followed things that interested me and I went down that path instead. And I will say it made me much happier with my personal life. So going through bad relationships and then gosh, it's such a hard one because I did not expect to meet him. He is older than me. I had never dated anyone older than myself. He has adult children. I'd never dated anybody that had, you know, adult children, and I don't have my own kids, so it's a whole new avenue. Dynamic, yeah. Very much. I will say that the comfort that I felt with him was different than anyone else. I felt very safe, very content. The first two years of us dating, I will say I slept so much because my nervous system was feeling safe. I took a nap almost every day, and I will say that's a sign of I felt comfortable with this person. I wasn't on that fight or flight anymore. I was very like, oh, I feel good with this person. So really pay attention to how you feel inside. Do you feel content? Do you feel calm? Do you feel happy? Do you feel safe? And I didn't even realize that I was in fight or flight for so long. Just I was taking care of these guys. I was like the sugar mama, you know, and I was like, okay, I'm gonna take care of you, you know? So I just think that there's someone for everyone. I really do. I think there's many people in this world that are good for you that you're compatible with. I just think like timing is really what it comes down to. And I was, let me think, 41 when we got married, 42. I just don't think there's a wrong age. I feel like you can at any age meet someone, find someone. And I hate to say it, I wasn't looking for it. It just, he literally showed up at my Pilates studio. It always comes back to Pilates. It does. Pilates changed my life and his.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

You know, just never give up hope. I really thought I was done, and I was like, wow, this is not what I expected, but it's turned out to be the best possible thing. And he is the most wonderful man I've ever met and just generous. He makes me laugh every day. He wakes up singing Christmas songs, no joke. He's just such a happy person. So I really think you just have to listen internally how you really feel, not the timeline, not the social expectations, not what your parents want. You really have to listen to your own body.

SPEAKER_01

And I want to know what you did, which I think a lot of women would be afraid to do or embarrassed. Like you said, I got married. It was so brief. I knew right away it was wrong, and I got out as soon as I can. And I think for any woman that's like, I got married, this isn't right, like, get out, or like know that like it's not embarrassing, it's not like do what you have to do to be happy. Don't be a martyr and stay in this relationship and suffer. And like, I think so often women are scared of like rocking the boat, or like you said, time like, well, I don't know, he's okay, and I do want to have children. And like, I just no, I'm like, if you know it's wrong or you know it's not right, like, oh my gosh, please get out as fast as possible.

SPEAKER_00

Right. Every day that you spend in a relationship that's not right, you are robbing yourself of the time that you could meet someone who is right for you. I just think, oh my gosh. Divorce is scary. It doesn't matter how long you've been married, three months, 30 years. Divorce is hard and it's scary, but I promise you you're gonna get through it. And it is gonna end eventually. It is such a process, but it is so worth it for your own mental health, for your future, for your kids' future that you may or may not have at that point yet. But it doesn't usually get better when you start to have that feeling, that gut feeling of like something isn't right here. This person isn't who I thought they were, or whatever the reason. I mean, once you know, you can't unsee it.

SPEAKER_01

Right. And I think what you even said, like the body reaction, like where you're like, I noticed even in my sleep, like once I was with Brad, I was able to really relax, and my system wasn't caught in that chaotic or like high fight or flight response, like that is such a good point too to check in with, you know, are you wound so tightly? Are you walking on eggshells all the time? Like to feel how other people and honestly, even with like friends, I mean, with any family, with any relationships in your life, it's such a good reminder to check in and be like, who do you feel like you can relax run? Who do you feel like so comfortable with? Who do you feel you're just like on edge the whole time? It's it's really interesting and something that to note. And I know that I pay attention to the older I get of like, oh, how do I leave that interaction with that person? Do I leave feeling drained? Do I leave feeling like built up and happy? Like, what is the response? You get the ick, you gotta get out.

SPEAKER_00

Like it's just that's that's never gonna go away. And I think it's they say this is the biggest decision you're ever gonna make in your life is the person you spend your life with because you're gonna go through seasons, holidays, your parents passing away, grief, you're gonna go through tragedy, you're gonna go through so much. So watch how they act when you're dating, watch how they treat people when you're dating, watch how they interact with your family. Give yourself so much time to really evaluate is this a life partner that I want to spend every holiday with? Are they gonna put stuff in my stocking? I'm sorry, it's important that they do, and there's a direct correlation with happiness in the relationship if they stuff your stocking. I know this. Anyways, this isn't a euphemism.

SPEAKER_01

We're really talking about uh Christmas stockings, how like the mom is in the bathroom at midnight's like putting stuff in the stockings, and then in the morning hers is always empty because no one thinks to put anything in mom's. And I'm so sorry. I gotta shout out my mom right now because I'm like, oh my god, our family is so guilty of this. And every year my mom would be like, we do tangerines. She'd always put a tangerine in our stockings, little things, and she'd be like, Oh, I guess some would put a tangerine in my like she would like do it herself, and like, but we wouldn't. I think like when finally we started to do like other little gifts in her stocking, but for a while, especially when we were young, sorry, dad, but like my dad wasn't doing it. I look back and I'm like, Oh my god, the magic of Christmas, let's be real, is like 90% made by women. Moms.

SPEAKER_00

Like when the dads have been looking around, like, what do we get the kids? Because the dads usually are not involved, typically. I'm not saying everybody, but right. I would just say from my research, women that are happier in their marriage long term, the husband is aware and makes the wife feel seen. That is the number one thing that I have heard. And I've talked to so many women about this of oh, my husband won't do this. I'm like, have you talked to him though? Where's the communication? Did you tell him it's important for you? And if you can't even have that conversation with them, I think that there's a bigger issue at hand than the stalking. So I do think you gotta find someone you can talk to. You can really be yourself. You have to be able to be yourself, you know. And I hate to be crude if no one likes this, but like, can you fart in front of them? Can you? This is a good test if you really feel comfortable in front of somebody, okay? The first time I did that to Brad, side note, he thought the window was breaking because he thought glass is breaking. Because I was like, I gotta break the seal. I gotta see if this is the guy. That is trial by fire. You were like, let's go. Because I'm like, listen, I'm a gassy person. This is something this person needs to be okay with. He jumped off the couch. He was like, Oh my god, what's happening? And I was like, um, he's like, Oh my god, that was you. And then from then on, now he laughs.

SPEAKER_01

So funny.

SPEAKER_00

Now he laughs with me, and we think it's hilarious. I mean, I don't try to do it around him as often, but you know what I'm saying? I try to be like polite.

SPEAKER_01

You live with someone, you just gotta be yourself, you're with them all the time. Like, it's gonna happen. Let's be real. Gotta like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And if you can't even be your own self in your body. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

One, you can't be a hot woman without stomach issues. I just, I don't know. That's that is the laws of the universe. I'm sorry to tell everyone, like, something's gotta give. You can't have it all. I just I think that is like what the rule. So you gotta have some gastrointestinal thing going on. Okay. The second thing is Patrick all the time is wearing headphones. Like he'll have his big phones on in the earpods, and usually like he'll be reading or practicing French, whatever he's doing. Like, I'm like watching Real Housewives, something equally as stimulating.

SPEAKER_00

Educational.

SPEAKER_01

Always research, just research. Really building myself and growing. Um, he's like, these women just yell at each other. I'm like, uh-huh, get back to your French, get back to language learning. Watching it for the psychology. Yeah, I'm like, what? And so he's like doing some movies. So usually he has him on. And the other night I thought he had him on. And so I, you know, something slipped out. And then he just looks at me and I was like, why are your headphones on? What's happening? He was like, he was like, wow, that's like what's happening. But I'm like, I'm like, listen, sorry. I just assumed you. So I'm like, that's also Mayor. We've been together since 2011. If I even tried to say on this podcast that Patrick had ever heard me fart, can you imagine? Like, that's just there's no reality that that would be. We've gone through stomach flus together. I mean, you're prepared to do everything's happening.

SPEAKER_00

And this person needs to be your support system. They're your number one now. So if they're not doing it when you're dating, they are definitely not gonna do it when you're married.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. This is also why I say you have to like really be obsessed with the person and like be like totally twitter pated from Bambi or whatever, or like just like because you will see them in very compromising, unflattering positions at some point in life, and you have to still be like, wow, that was rough, and somehow I still like think you're super hot and love you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it has to supersede raw attraction. It just has to supersede that. You cannot be digmatized and still be okay with like them being crazy. Like it just can't happen. You have to love all the parts of them.

SPEAKER_01

I agree. Oh my god, digmatized. I love that too. That's like such a great is that a Taylor Swift? Did Taylor Swift come up with that? Oh well, it's in the song. I don't know. I hope she did, but otherwise, maybe she didn't. Maybe it's in the vernacular out there. I don't know. But okay, well, this has been amazing. It's been so fun chatting with you, of course. Obviously, it's just like we get to hang out. Since you're on the Bets Life podcast, how do you live your best life?

SPEAKER_00

Number one has to be cats. Of course. Cats have to be involved. Number two, you have to listen to yourself internally. Like there has to be an inner voice that you can connect with, slow down, and say, is this really what I want for myself? And when those things align, a beautiful life happens. And so I really think I have gotten to that point where I actually listen of what actually makes me happy and listen to the inner voice. I listen to it and then I respect it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, amazing, amazing advice. Check in. Obviously, cats. I love how cats is number one. I mean, you know, I agree. Yeah, it has to be. I mean, it just how could you go through life without cats? I mean, I mean, if you're not a cat person, red flag. I know it is a red, it is a red flag. And also, we're talking about cats. I like pretty much every animal. There's like a possum running around our house, our yarn that I like. I love this thing.

SPEAKER_00

Skunk.

SPEAKER_01

I'd even take a skunk, okay? Yeah. This is not anti-other animals. This is like just the obsession with pretty much all animals. Okay, tell everyone where they can find you, the socials, your website, whatever you want to share.

SPEAKER_00

My full name, Victoria Popoff. You can find me on every channel, just with my first and last name. And then Pilates French Club. Those things, too, right there on every type of internet, channel, board, messenger, AOL, whatever you got still. Look for her on MySpace. I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_01

Like, I don't even know what happened in MySpace. I mean, I might still have you don't know. I don't know. I'm always like, who's in my top eight? Like, who's out there still? We just will never know. We'll never know. People listening. Some people are gonna get that reference, and that's gonna age us. But okay, well, love you, girl. Thanks so much for coming on and chatting with me. Love all you're doing.

SPEAKER_00

Keep it going. You're doing amazing work for everyone. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01

All right, bye. Okay, bye. Interested in more? Visit thebet'slife.com or find me at theBets Life on Instagram. Please follow, rate, and review wherever you listen to your podcast. Thanks for listening.