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Solving Disconnection & Creating Connected Relationships (for Couples & Parents)
Is it possible to solve the disconnection issues in your relationship? This podcast will explore how to solve it, but here's a hint: it takes ongoing work.
The good news is that when we know how to have a harmonious and connected relationship, it feels good and can motivate us to keep doing it.
This podcast is for couples and parents. We explore how to help you have a strong relationship with your partner and your kids if you have them.
Jason A. Polk is a relationship therapist and a Clini-Coach® based in Denver, CO. He loves helping couples have more connection through this podcast and individualized marriage retreats and couples intensives.
He's a father of two young daughters and has helped couples for over ten years. He believes we can simultaneously have a healthy relationship and be great parents.
Solving Disconnection & Creating Connected Relationships (for Couples & Parents)
65: Marriage Counseling Vs Divorce
In this episode of 'Solving Disconnection and Creating Connected Relationships for Couples and Parents,' Jason Polk, a therapist and coach with over 10 years of experience, discusses the financial and emotional costs of marriage counseling versus divorce.
Jason highlights the expense and emotional toll of contested divorces, which can range from $10,000 to $15,000, compared to the relatively lower cost of marriage counseling.
He explains how counseling can help either salvage a relationship or make the separation process more compassionate and dignified. Jason states that counseling can be valuable in creating healthier futures, whether couples stay together or separate.
00:00 Introduction to the Show
00:27 Marriage Counseling vs. Divorce: An Overview
00:39 Financial and Emotional Costs of Divorce
02:17 The Role of Marriage Counseling
05:23 When Divorce is Inevitable
06:15 Cost Comparison: Counseling vs. Divorce
06:48 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
This episode was inspired by Jason's blog post.
Jason's marriage counseling practice.
Welcome everyone. Today I wanna talk about marriage counseling versus divorce. But first I'm going to introduce the show. Welcome everyone. This is solving disconnection and creating connected relationships for couples and parents. My name is Jason Polk, and I've worked this exclusively with couples as a therapist and coach for over 10 years. On this podcast, I share my experience professionally. Personally and those of our amazing guests. marriage counseling versus divorce. Talking about these two things I wanna share that there are financial and emotional costs to both of them. There are financial and emotional costs to divorce. For example, a contested divorce with angry partners can be expensive due to attorney fees, and obviously there are emotional costs of divorce, such as grief loss along with lingering resentments that may persist. Oh yeah. What about the kids? How do we handle that? In regards to marriage counseling, there are also financial and emotional costs. However, I think generally those costs can be less compared to that of a divorce. So breaking down the financial cost of divorce and legal fees, I came across an article from, let's see, it was. Ascent Legal Group, and they are family lawyer firm in Colorado and they said the number for a contested divorce is 10,000 to$15,000 for a divorce in Colorado. And again, that is contested in which both partners don't agree on how to divide up assets and custody and the. Article stated that the level of conflict in the relationship is also how much you'll pay, obviously in attorney fees. And so if both partners feel angry and resentful towards each other, the divorce may incur. Higher legal fees and it implied trying to fight each other over everything.'cause what do you gotta do when that happens? My understanding is you gotta call your attorney and attorneys are not cheap and I want to talk about where mayor's counseling can help. And so say you are gonna get a divorce anyway. Mayor's counseling can help with the resentments and the animosity that you have for each other. A purpose of marriage counseling, couples counseling, couples therapy, whatever you want to call it, is to understand the root of the animosity and the conflict. Now, you may not solve anything. You may be emotionally checked out that you don't wanna work on the relationship anyway. This could be you, or this could be your partner, but nevertheless, it can help ease some of that by understanding where it comes from. And also providing a little bit of validation for where both people are coming from, even if you can't see eye to eye. But on the flip side, say you are motivated to save your relationship, then obviously marriage counseling can help., maybe you've got to a point where you really do wanna work on it, but maybe you're feeling a bit hopeless. And that's a difference than feeling hopeless and not having the emotional bandwidth to work on it. Or maybe another way of saying, feeling hopeless, but not having the emotional fortitude to work on it. Maybe you've already given up, you checked out, and you've already made up your mind, I don't want to do this. And that's, where you're at, but we can still feel hopeless and have motivation to make it better. Or another way to put it, have the emotional fortitude to push through and work on the relationship, knowing that it's gonna be an uphill battle. But if you do want to save the relationship, obviously marriage counseling can help. And if you're in this place where it feels. Horrible and hopeless. Maybe a couple's intensive could be beneficial. And I'm gonna share a link to the episode on couples intensive that I did earlier again, if you're motivated. As I mentioned, marriage counseling can help you understand the root of the issues, understand where they come from, understand where each other are coming from, and provide some validation, hear each other, and then also give you a roadmap to spend less time in that negative crappy cycle or those negative dynamics, and then you know how to repair. If you do get there, and you're also intentional about creating a positive environment of understanding, collaboration, harmony, and dare I say intimacy. And as I mentioned earlier, maybe divorce is inevitable. Marriage counseling can help you with some of your anger and resentment, and it can also provide a little bit of clarity. And that clarity is, Hey, you know what? I'm checked out. You are checked out. We can't make this work and it can help parties separate divorce. With compassion, with collaboration and dignity and not animosity. And if you've gotten there where you two are both basically cool, but you still want to divvy things up in a positive manner, I recommend mediation as opposed to calling lawyers. Basically you'll save money and I think time as well. So financial cost of marriage counseling, a master's level counselor in Denver Metro cost about$200 per hour. Our practice is in Denver Metro, and so that's what I compared it against when I got the average number of dollars per hour and say that the two of you meet for age sessions and obviously that will total$1,600 and obviously is significantly cheaper than a contested divorce, which cost 10,000 to 15,000. So to summarize, divorce can be costly, obviously, financially and emotionally. However you can do so in a respectful and collaborative way if that is a direction you are going. If you're motivated to stay together or you would like some clarity on whether the relationship will work or not, counseling offers a more affordable. Alternative to divorce, counseling aims to foster insight, emotional healing, and can help both partners. And families build healthier futures, and even if separation and divorce become necessary, counseling can help guide both of you towards a more peaceful and respectful transition. Thank you so much for listening.