Speak Easy; Connect, Engage, & Win w/ Lou Diamond

🌟 Speak Easy: Connect with Every Conversation 

🤔 Speak Easy; Most of us see the power in connecting and having great conversations. But, too often we lack the knowledge for success. Therefore, check out this episode and discover how my Guest, Speak Easy Expert Lou Diamond, shows you how to Connect, Engage, and Win. 

 
🌟 What We Discuss with Lou:

👉 ⁃       Seeing Power in Connecting
👉 ⁃       Connect, Engage, and Win
👉 ⁃       Having Difficult Conversations as a Leader
👉 ⁃       The Speak Easy Conversation 

🌟 About Lou:

Lou Diamond empowers People to Connect, Engage & Win!

Lou is a professional speaker, sales & leadership consultant, award-winning podcaster and 2X bestselling author. Lou's innovative, connecting tactics have helped hundreds of companies across the globe explode their sales, retain their clients and build a thriving culture.
His bestselling book and popular keynote SPEAK EASY is helping people Connect with EVERY conversation they have in business and in life. 
Lou’s boundless energy and motivation inspires audiences to feel they can conquer the world and make tons of great new connections doing it.

🙏 Thanks, Lou! Reach out, connect, and follow Lou across all his social platforms:

👉 https://www.instagram.com/thriveloud/

👉 https://www.linkedin.com/in/thriveloud/

👉 https://twitter.com/ThriveLouD

👉 https://www.facebook.com/ThriveLouD

👉 https://www.tiktok.com/@thriveloud

👉 thriveloud.com

🌟 Resources mentioned in the podcast:

👉 ⁃       Jeff Gibbard: https://jeffgibbard.com/

👉 ⁃       Speakeasybook.com

👉 ⁃       Thriveloud.com

Unlocking the Power of Trust: Keynote Speaker Robin Dreeke Shares Secrets to Creating Allies - Robin is the former Chief of the FBI's Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program. With over 30 years of experience in recruiting spies and building trust, Robin is the world-renowned speaker you need. Don't miss out on the opportunity to learn from a true expert. Contact us now to book your event! Click HERE to book a time to chat.

🤔 Take Robin's FREE YouTube Keys to Communication Online Course HERE.

😃 Check out Robin's Speaking, and Training Services HERE.

Transcript

Robin: 0:05

Connect, engage and win the speak easy way. Welcome to the Forged by Trust podcast. I'm your host, Robin Dreeke, executive coach former US Marine, F B I, spy recruiter, bestselling author, and your trust and communication expert. Today's episode speakeasy. Focuses on my amazing guest, Lou Diamond, and his incredible new book I Absolutely Treasure, and that is Speakeasy in Speakeasy, professional speaker and podcaster. Lou Diamond drills down into the methods and strategies use by renowned interviewers and hosts and shows you how to transform every conversation you have into an opportunity to connect, engage, and win in business and in life. Check it out@speakeasybook.com. Coming up next on the Forged by Trust podcast.

Lou: 0:46

The speakeasy way of doing things, and that's to connect with every conversation. And if you work on that skillset of having that great conversation each and every time, you're gonna close more business, you're gonna grow your relationships. You know, make more friends and getting back to what we talked about in the beginning, you're probably gonna have more fun.

Robin: 1:32

Today's episode, the Speakeasy is my good friend and inspiration, the incredibly talented conversationalist and podcast host Lou Diamond. Lou Diamond empowers people to connect, engage, and win. Lou is a professional speaker, sales and leadership consultant, award-winning podcaster in two-time, bestselling author, Lou's innovative connecting tactics have helped hundreds of companies across the globe explore their sales, retain their clients, and build a thriving. His best selling book in popular keynote speakeasy is helping people connect with every conversation they have in business and in life. Lose boundless energy and motivation inspires audiences to feel they can conquer the world and make tons of great new connections doing it. During the episode today, we talk about seeing power and connecting, connect, engage and win, and having difficult conversations as a. And of course, the speakeasy conversation for all aspects of life.

Lou: 2:26

Lou Diamond

Robin: 2:27

as a live and speak.

Lou: 2:29

How are you Robin? I'm doing spectacular. I'm glad to be here. I guess at this point, because we're both men of honor and respect. Whether we want to or not, we have to give Jeff Gibbard credit for us now reconnecting because while you were a guest of my show a long time ago, you were just recently on his program, and there was a whole shout out at the beginning of the section. Which led to us having this conversation. It's pretty cool. I know.

Robin: 2:52

We're just saying that what a great small world it is. Yeah. Where you have individuals that value great conversations and not just a great conversation, but having deep presence for others Yeah. Is really the heart of any success in life. And so that's my opening question for you. And again, thanks to Jeff Gibbard, the lovable leader and superhero as he's best known by the world, but as every superhero as Jeff knows and you know too has that origin story, and I love an origin story because I'm a reality show junkie, and every life is a great reality show. So Lou, I am very curious all those years ago, when you're growing up, Can you remember what it might have been that created that spark that made you inspired to want to connect, engage, and

Lou: 3:41

win with others? Hmm. It, it's really funny. I, and, and I know how you run your show, so I, I try to be unprepared and prepared at the same time, trying get hit with I, I think I've always recognized how people, when they're brought together, Through common links, maybe with different skills, but when they're all brought together in that team setting, I think I saw power in that. Real power in that, even from a little kid always wanted to organize, you know, whether we were playing basketball in my, in my yard where everybody used to ca my, my basketball court growing up in Rockaway Beach was on the corner of an intersection where kids would just drive by and games would just pick up all the time. And connecting the teams together and the friends and everything and that, that carried over into just. Boyhood sports team you could think of. What

Robin: 4:32

do you mean you saw power in that? That's really fascinating. Like how do you experience power like that at a young

Lou: 4:38

age, do you think? So when you get a whole bunch of people connected together and you recognize, you know, whether it's through trust, through sharing, through recognizing. Two is one plus one is way more than than two. You see it in different ways. The output could be, obviously in business, it's productivity, and a well-oiled machine with at, at that age. It was fun. It was the, there was so much enjoyment in, in being together. Happiness, fun, competitiveness, you know, getting to play, getting to bring groups together, getting to mix and match friends from, I used to be the person who was always the connector friends from different walks of life. I was, I was growing up, I would always. Introduce one circle of friends to another. And I loved seeing those connections take place and watching those relationships grow and develop. And, and so the, the unique power where people's worlds were brought together. So the power is when two people connect. Robin, we're bringing all the things that we bring with us our entire. Asset list of everything we have. Think of if you, if I saw Robin right now, aside from all the things I see behind him on his screen and know about his background, whether it's his book or his, his marine seal or his work with the with the F B I I see these things as visuals. When I see people and I almost match them up, I'm like, oh, this person also, I know somebody who worked in the Navy. I wonder if Robin knows this individual. I'm always trying to bring that together because when that happens and your circles and your lives all overlap, It's like a magical, fun place to be. And it's a great, and it's great to see the efficiencies, the energy that's brought together with like-minded individuals that get to, to share and, and really enjoy one another. That's the, that's the power. That's the power when you, that's the winning in connect, engage and win. That's the, the chance to, to make more out of every moment in your life through all the relationships and connections you have. No doubt. So who modeled

Robin: 6:42

that behavior for

Lou: 6:43

you? So I, I'm obviously looking to my parents. I think I can compare it this way. My mom, very social, always wanting to be friends with lots of different people and making sure you were, you know, in lots of different circles of friends and, and she still has friends from her childhood who she still keeps today and has added layers on throughout. And my dad very similarly, but he has an incredible likability that it's almost like it's impossible to dislike him. He's just such a, he's charming, smiling and everything. Not my mom is too, but my dad has this energy about him that everybody loves. And I'd say if you blend brought those two together from a personality stand standpoint, that would be me. And interestingly, my dad is a, was an entrepreneur and my mom, is a coach. So blending those things together kind of made me who I am as well. They both were at one point in their lives. Teachers too, huh? And always wanting to help other people learn and improve and grow is something that I think has been instilled in me because that's something that was part of their trade at one point or another. So that connectivity has always been at the forefront of everything I do. So it was front and center. So that's where, that's where I modeled it from, and I would say, That, that sense of wanting to bring people together always has always been at the heart of, I guess that's what makes me happy. The, the thing to see, to see all those worlds come together to me is, is, is a lot of fun using a superhero analogy. I was watching one of the Thor movies recently, I forgot The Dark, the Dark World or something. Uhhuh and like every gazillion years, like, you know, the nine realms all overlap and come together. And I'm like, yeah, that's kind of like when I get together with a whole bunch of friends. That's exactly what's going on. All these worlds are coming together. I don't know if people are disappearing and zapping through different time warps, but I, but I'm hoping that at least they're, they're coming together at peace.

Robin: 8:39

I'm, I'm curious, so your dad was an entrepreneur and you grew up in New York is where you grew up? Yes.

Lou: 8:45

Yeah. He had his own set of retail jewelry stores. Huh. And yeah, started off with one of them and then it grew to, to several of them. And I, that's actually where I first started working was. The first store he had was 60 feet wide by, oh, 60 feet long by nine feet wide. It was this very narrow store with just a showcase, obviously, on one side and then an aisle for people, the customers to come in and out. And it was and a phenomenal opportunity to work one-on-one and connect with individuals who are looking to, you know, buy a gift, a present for a loved one or whatnot. And I, I grew up learning how to sell at a very early age, and learning how to connect with people. Was a very, you know, it's, it's not a need to go buy, you know, a, a gold chain or a, a diamond ring or whatever it is. So you really have to establish a relationship and a connection with the person you're speaking with.

Robin: 9:36

That takes a lot of courage. And as a risk taker for your dad, where do you think that came from in him?

Lou: 9:42

We're New Yorkers. Risk takers is part of who we are. you know, like, I, I think you have to understand that. That that I think being a merchant, if you would, which is just what his fa you know, his family and what he had been like being in sales was something he always was good at. And that likability factor is, is a really good reason. But he really he was a math teacher when he was a a teacher. So his, his skills and numbers and thinking how things would work were always a fun place for him to play. But the, I'd say the risk factor. The entrepreneurial spirit has always been inside of me. Uhhuh wanting to be my own boss maybe was at the forefront of that, which was always at his forefront. And he wanted to make his decisions and, and, and run his business his way. I learned how valuable that is having worked for many different organizations and when you bring your entrepreneurial spirit into a corporate work environment, it's very helpful. But once you hit a certain point, you kind of wanna be okay. I think I need to run my own place right now so that throughout my career, that was always an underpinning and underlying value of mine that I, that I bring into every business situation is that spirit of entrepreneurialism with some real structure around it, but wanting to break three and free and through that structure all.

Robin: 11:00

Yeah. That's phenomenal that you had such exposure when you're young and great behaviors modeled from both your parents. Mm-hmm. so we value great connections and networking at a young age. Did you have any idea yet what, what you wanted to do with that as you're moving forward in life?

Lou: 11:19

So, where I loved connecting. When I didn't know exactly what I wanted to do in the professional world, and I did love selling in my dad's store. I knew I wanted to work in the corporate world, but never. And one second. What did you love

Robin: 11:33

about selling? That's really fascinating, that you love selling at such a young age. And how old were you when you started

Lou: 11:37

selling Dad, dad store? Oh, I must have my, I started working in the store probably when I was 12 or 13 years old. So really young let's, let's say even before high school, you know, I was probably like responsible for wrapping packages or helping to show something look good. But do you remember the first thing you sold? I think I've also been a pair of earrings legitimately, like I would say a pair of, like in my dad's store, I sold some stuff like, you know, I, we used to sell candy at, you know, at school. Right, right. Or are there things like that? Or cookie sales. Or bake sales, but no, but, but definitely I'd say a pair of earrings. What I do remember when I was 17 and 18, I was actually managing one of the stores by this time, and I was piercing ears all the time, which was, you remember the gun, you know, they all piercing. I used to, there was one busy season where everybody was getting earrings and there was that whole series where people had multiple earrings. I was shooting people up all day long, which is kind of funny because my, I have kind of shaky hands, so I don't know why I was actually able to do that, but they trusted me with a gun. It, it seemed to be straight. You put a dot on. It's not too hard, right? Yeah. So, but I always loved selling because you made somebody happy, you helped somebody out. You actually, you gave them something and you provided them the value and they chose you as the one to help you with that need that you had at that time. At that. At at its core, that's why I love to sell.

Robin: 12:47

So when you said it right there, it's a relationship that you're selling, not just a product, and you love to do it. What did they see when they saw you at that young age, do you think?

Lou: 12:57

What is this little kid work doing behind the counter? No It was working though, apparently. I, I, I would say that the thing that it'd absolutely helped me with most was the ability to start up a conversation immediately. And if you think about the art of connecting, which we'll talk about here on the show, I'm sure, and, and speak easy. When you have to sell something to someone, you, you have to come in and, you know, engage in a conversation and establish a relationship. It's not something that just sells itself. Let it, but it be clear, most of these items are literally behind a counter lock and key. So we have to understand what the person needs, what they're looking for before we open up the key and we have to worry about maybe somebody taking it or not. You know, like this, these were, it was New York, a little risky times at middle times. This was in Brooklyn and Queens too, right? In certain areas that. Questionable at best at times when we were, when, you know, a young kid is working behind a counter. Oh my gosh. Yeah. But I learned, I learned responsibility. I learned I learned the speed of establishing a relationship. I also knew how important it was to be honest and trustworthy in that moment, and, and never try to, to pull a fast one or anything like that. I, I think all of that established connections really quickly at a very young age, and I've always been pretty talkative. And if I go back to our discussion about me connecting all of my different friends and circles of life, always loving to do that. Well, here I am connecting with somebody completely new that I've never met before. So I, I get, I get jazzed up when I have the opportunity to connect with somebody new that, that excites me and the ability to help them through a sale excites me. Yeah.

Robin: 14:33

Wow. Again, just profound, great experiences. Any humbling moments back then you can remember that you really, oh,

Lou: 14:40

bored with you? Which, which, which one should we go with? Well You talked about the scary moments. I mean as I mentioned, the, the one of the stores was in a pretty shady neighborhood. I, I watched my dad get held up by gunpoint. I watched some kid try to swipe some, you know, some jewelry and we had a security guard, guard stop him. There was an instance where I had to take out a nose ring, which I would not care to share on your podcast ring cuz it was gross and disgusting. But that's a whole other podcast. No, but humbling moments. Humbling moments was there was a boom time for my dad with this business because I guess we could all thank Mr. T for wearing all that jewelry all around his neck. It was you're right. It was, it was Billboard. It was, he was, he was the best advertisement you could have in the, in the eighties. And and to see the, like, it was a really, a really hard business to run. And when times were tough you know, some of those stores had to close, which was very frustrating. So humbling moments of seeing, you know, the rise and fall of any business at a really young age. I mean, even before I was, I guess 22 years old, I got to see ups and downs of all of that. But I, but I, if, if anything, what I would say. The most humbling experience in growing up in, in any retail industry was recognizing that I needed to do something more than just that, that that, you know, this was just one small store or two or multiple stores he had, and there was so much more to give and there was so many great skills to be learned from here. The humbling part to me was recognizing how important it was to have that. That beginning to have that understanding, that appreciation of really how hard you had to work to, to make a living and something I appreciated. And, and for, I'm forever thankful to both my parents for how hard they worked to support me so that I can go to college and take it to the next level. And eventually when I, when I worked in corporation, I started to say this to me consulting. Which was the first line of work that I went into was connecting businesses internally, right? It was understanding and helping to solve the problems inside and trying to figure out where things needed to mesh, where things needed to work together. So that's where I started, and then that led to consulting and financial services and eventually led into me working on Wall Street, which, you know, directly on financial services in a sales and business development role. So throughout my career, my, my career progress, Though is always about that one-to-one conversation that you need to have with somebody to make the connection, right. It's always been consistent. No matter if I was speaking to an audience of hundreds or working with a team of, of dozens or working one-on-one with a customer I understood how important it was at the root of every single connection having a really, really, really good convers. And that skillset throughout my entire life has been something. I've also gotten, as someone said very recently to me, I've been getting in a lot of reps in making sure that I have a lot of conversations. I just posted about this in social media and gave Robin some credit cuz he was the one said But that's what it is. And, and like anything else if you read Outliers by by Malcolm Gladwell and, and you know, getting in those 10,000 of anything, whatever it is. Never would I have thought that my reps were, the conversations that I was having and understanding how valuable they were in making the connections in our lives. So Lou,

Robin: 17:44

gosh, I still can't get over the reps that you got in at such a young age. Make these great, healthy, strong connections. And you said it that there were times when you had to close shops or lay people off. What was that experience like? Because you are really empathetic. I can tell. Yeah. And And when you had a break, a connection, what was that

Lou: 18:06

like? I'll tell you, one of the hardest things I had to do, and this goes back to, you may have to go back a little over 20 some odd years ago. When I left professional services in consulting, before I went to Wall Street, I worked for a company called Organic, which helped to build some of the first original websites. So this was like financial services and technology all coming together. And the internet was starting. We were building some of the first websites and first presence that was out there. And this was like, take an advertising firm, a marketing firm, a technology firm. mix it together. And I was in charge of business development, right. For the whole company. And this company like went up and down and watching that whole internet bubble rise. And when that happened, we were laying off people constantly. And in big chunks too, because we were trying to right size the organization to, to what the business could, could handle, right? What, what I think I've learned about communicating bad news as a leader. Is one of the rules that I'm a big fan of, which, you know, is it's that 800 pound gorilla. It's that concoction that just deal with that moment, that uncomfortable moment immediately, right? Deal with it very quickly. Not having the conversation can be more dangerous and more toxic than having one that's very difficult to, to, to bear or to swallow. And the quicker that you. Deal with those uncomfortable moments in business the faster you can, you can get onto whatever it is. And, and I apply this by the way to sales as well. When you learn that someone tells you, no, I wanna get to know faster, right? I, I don't want it to dilly dolly and sit on your pipeline report for weeks or months or however long because you know that might actually happen. There's a chance that this opportunity, which I pitched four months ago is gonna come to fruition. No. If it, if it would've come, it would've come much sooner. There's a, there is a window of time that things get done in the, in the now, and there's stuff that happens in the much later, right? And to recognize when the now is and when no will come really quickly is important. That's just dealing with the bad news really close up front. So then you can learn how to improve things, learn how to work on your, your pitch, your practice, your. Or in, in some cases when you have to lay off people, you know, okay, what do we need to do so we don't have to have that conversation again? What do we need to, where do we need to improve? Who do we have to put our resources into? Right. Look an unfortunate lesson I learned maybe at a very early age, having to see my dad's business go up and down. Life is not fair and, and you just have to take the moments when you could take advantage of those op good opportunistic times and capitalize on them and manage yourself through those down times efficiently and effectively. I think that that's what great leaders do and that's why relationships are so important because that conversation that you have today, Robin, that may a bad news for telling somebody that you have to go. By the way, who knows? Five years that person may be hiring you or you may be hiring them again. Right, right. You never know. The world are, are so close and so securous that I find that you can't look at it as those one-off moment in times and you're never gonna see anyone. You don't burn bridges. You make sure you keep strong connections, you support the people. You can, however you, however best you can do. And as a lesson that I learned from someone I worked on Wall Street a long time ago, Harley Bassman, it's never as bad as it seems. And it's never as good as it seems. And if you think about markets, that's a great way to handle winning trades up markets, down markets. But it's also true about life and your, your career in your relationships. It won't always be your rosy road. It won't always be the doom and gloom. There's this law of averages somewhere in the middle. And the key consistent part through all of it are the relationships and connections you have through great conversations throughout the whole journey. Absolutely.

Robin: 21:54

Wow. Thanks. That's really good insights. What's next? We go to college. We wanted to

Lou: 22:01

study what? To be what? So I went to, I went to college. I, I wanted to study business. And, and it was applied Economics and management was what I, what I studied at Cornell University. Yeah. And. And, and I'm still involved with Cornell University and not only as a, a guest speaker and I'm on an advisory board in the communications department because had I been, yeah. Had the, had the majors worked out this way, I would've been like a communications major with a business minor, cuz that's really Right, right, right. Kind of what my, what my, what my business is. But that's what led to my career in consulting. I, I've worked at what is now Accenture, it was Anderson Consulting back then. Mm-hmm. then Deloitte Consulting thereafter. I mentioned I worked at Organic and then I worked at Wall Street, by the way, all that time through Cornell. I'll use that as an example. I've recruited every single company from Cornell, including when I started my own company, thrive that I would go up there and I'd pick up new interns and analysts that have worked for me and helped with the podcast and stuff like that over the years. So and on top of all of that, One kid who graduated and one who will graduate in two years from Cornell. So I keep going up to Ithaca for some reason, But so, so my connections to that establishment only continues to grow in all my relationships throughout the years. It was an important part of my life, but also really important in the network and that I connect with all the time. So that, that was that part. But I, but I always wanted to do business. I just didn't know in what realm, what what realm I needed to deal with and where I needed to be. By the way, that might have been my, my dad who just popped in, who came in to say hi. I think he's awesome.

Robin: 23:32

Oh, that's perfect. Oh my God. We're hearing the legend of your father. Yeah. I'm curious, I mean, you talk about some pretty standard big businesses you went to work for, yet you had this foundation of entrepreneurialism, entrepreneurialism, entrepreneurship, entrepreneurship when you were younger. What made you want to take that route and not go into business for yourself right off the bat?

Lou: 23:54

Great question. One, I didn't know what I wanted to do, and. I knew I wanted to work in that environment to really explore all it can be. I wanted to nav. I, I mean, I worked, you know, consulting gave me a chance to work in numerous different companies, in numerous different businesses, in, in one very large industry. I was really in financial services for a lot of it. Interestingly, somehow got because of these companies, technology was so instrumental, I got a chance to get a feel for that. I got a chance to manage people. I got a chance to work on projects. I got to travel and see really cool places. I got to go back and forth to Chicago, like I think I was in O'Hare one year, like 90 days. In 1996, I was in O'Hare. 90 days either taking off or landing, which is by the way, not a place you wanna be. What's really sad is that unfortunately, like, you know, these businesses still require this type of travel. Even in today's virtual age, you still gotta go, you know, to these projects and work on site in certain locations. But what I, what I will say about all of that experience and having a chance to, to do the consulting and work for other companies. Was, it also helped me recognize what my superpower was and how I could help people going forward. Cuz I didn't know it right away. You know, if I knew right away that I wanted to help people connect, engage, and win in every possible scenario they could, well then that would've been spectacular. But I never would've been able to be as effective if I didn't have this 25, 30 year runway of learning from all the experiences, having all these great conversations in a professional environment, in an entrepreneurial environment. In a transactional financial services market when I worked on Wall Street. All those different conversations have helped me to understand the breadth of the types of companies that I can help, right Robin? To put it in perspective, the companies that I actually help connect, engage, and win the most. Fittingly, are financial services companies, professional services companies and marketing technology companies, never would've been able to do that if I didn't have a litany of a career where that Right. Was able to do it. And by the way, dibs and dabs every now and then with large retail organizations, cuz maybe I've understood what it's like to have to work in that environment as well. So I could never be as successful as a sales and leadership consultant. Which is what I actually was meant to do, right? Because it is an area where I can provide leaders with the best possible range of experience, but also new ways of thinking and ways that they could hone the craft that I've been working on my entire career if I didn't have this runway of experience all those years. What do you think was the

Robin: 26:30

most profound experience you learned during those years that you then brought forward when you decide to go into the world of entrepreneurship and create

Lou: 26:38

your own company? I got to see a lot of failures, big failures, like 2001, the internet bubble bursting, the financial crisis of 2008. I could even go back to the early nineties. I could tell you when I was applying for, for school and college, there was a bar at school that they used to say, remember we used to get ding letters when you used to apply for jobs and you got rejected. Well, if you got five of them, there was this bar, Johnny's that would give you a pitcher of beer. They had to up it to 10 our particular year because they was such a drop in the economy where everything was right. And now fast forward, by the way, all the way to the pandemic opportunities to see. The ups and downs so many times enables you to know how to manage each one of the good times. That whole, it's never as bad as it seems. It's never as good as it seems. Lesson right is by far the most valuable lesson that I've had because when I work with teams who are flying high and they're killing it, we helped to manage what the drought can be like, right when. Totally off their game. I can elevate them and inspire them into what can get them to the level that will help them thrive and, and when they're in that indecisive part, I have an understanding to see a little bit of what could be and options and understanding that optionality has made me a better communicator and even pitching my own services to the expectations of what I can deliver and what I can help people with. And I think. An appreciation of that skillset, Robin is why people like working with me and they like the, the, the forthright honesty that I will give them each and every time. Right?

Robin: 28:16

So here we are. We're at, we're at a point in our lives that, all right, we've done the corporate thing, we've got some reps in there. We've learned some profound experiences. What was a spark that made you decide to go

Lou: 28:27

thrive? The spark that made me go thrive had to do. I wasn't, I knew I had, I had overextended my stay on Wall Street and wanted to do something different. How did you over extend your stay? What'd that look like? The market was changing. You know, a lot of things were becoming more automated. We were dealing in a business where, in the broker dealer space, where, you know, things were becoming a little more transactional. The financial, when the financial crisis and Dodd-Frank had happened, so many rules had changed that a lot of what we were doing in our business. Certainly challenging in how we can optimize and make money in it. And where I was, right. And there were other avenues I could go to and other products I could deal with. But the reality was is that the entrepreneurial spirit was calling me, right? I, I basically was getting the tap on the shoulder from, you know, my, you know, my tag team partner in life. You know your soul telling you, Hey dude, yeah, this is the next step that you need to take. Beautiful. So, Help me figure out that I needed to figure out what it was. And it's a fun story, Robin. I, I went to this event that my friend, I basically was moonlighting to be completely honest. friend of mine had a tech company, he'd been going to a trade show for years in Las Vegas, and he said, Lou, ABA sales guy, he, he's trying to figure out what he wants to do next. I love him to come help me with this. I said, I want to go, lemme just help you out for this two and a half day show. He had been going to that show Robin for. he had never closed any business there, and in fact was questioning why he was going in the first place. Right. By the end of the two and a half days, we inked two DLS while I was there, and in a 30 day window. Past that, we closed five more pieces of business, seven new clients from what he and I did in that time. Wow. On, on the flight back, he handed me a pad and a piece of paper and he goes, I don't think you understand that what you. Is unique. I don't think you know that this thing that you connect with people is something that other people need to benefit from. You need to tell everybody how to do this. And he handed me the piece of paper and that was the outline for my first book, master of the Art of Connected, which led to me writing the book, which led to me starting the Thrive business and helping to consult with companies and teach them these lessons, which also led to probably the biggest. In my career, not from a financial point of view immediately, but from a decision which was I was marketing this book and going on all these new shows that were called podcasts, which no one really knew about at the time. And I went on one terrible one, Robin, where it was just like a scripted set of responses. It was just an awful host experience. I said, please don't air. And, and I got off the episode completely dis, dis disjointed. We didn't even record. It was a pre-record of the episode, and I basically said, don't air this program, don't cancel our meeting. I'm going to create my own show, and it's gonna be the exact opposite of whatever the heck this thing was. what a, what a gift.

Robin: 31:25

That person

Lou: 31:26

gave you It was, it was you exactly what not to do. A lot, a lot of people were telling me, ramen that I needed to do it, but it never really came as front and center as it did in this particular moment when Universe screaming at you and, and here it was. And, and that's what kicked off Thrive Loud. To help me connect those to those that are thriving in their lives, their businesses, and their passions. Listeners need to know Robin was a spectacular guest when his book code of Trust came out and. The opportunity to sit on this side of the microphone, as you very well know, has been a great learning experience, an incredible connecting up experience. We're almost, thrive Loud has almost 900 episodes. But there are four or five other shows that I've done in, in the interim of the last seven years that have totaled something like 1300 episodes I think I shared with you. And that's a lot of conversations, a lot of reps. And a lot of reps that as you look over my shoulder in this thing and look over Robins as well, help to create and formulate my, my Master of the Art of Connecting book had a certain introduction to the key theme, which I've been mentioning on the show, which is the speakeasy way of doing things, and that's to connect with every conversation. So, To your original point, like, and how come you didn't start this in the beginning? Make it clear if, if I didn't go through the road I went through, if I didn't have all those experiences, all those business opportunities, all those conversations. I would never have the skills that I have today to be able to help people have better ones. And that has been the ultimate gift of my career, is that now I get to help people understand how they can take this speakeasy methodology for themselves and be able to use it so they can improve the way they connect each and every time they have a conversation. Cuz that's where every connection begins. And if you work on that skillset of having that great conversation each and every time, you're gonna close more business, you're gonna grow your relationships. You know, make more friends and getting back to what we talked about in the beginning, you're probably gonna have more fun. And I think that's an important thing that we're all trying to seek, whether we want to or not. It is about fun, right? Why not be happy in this life? It's too short to to be unhappy.

Robin: 33:33

It all comes down to the outlook we have. What do we see of ourselves as victims? Or do we see ourselves as problem solvers and heroes? Yeah. Oh, I like that. So I'm not gonna hold the floodgate back any longer.

Lou: 33:44

probably Robin sitting on, he's like, damnit, he's, he's taking his own drive here. Let, let's go with it. Yes.

Robin: 33:49

So, Lou, tell me, tell the audience. I've read it. It's fantastic. Speakeasy, tell me about speakeasy and the art of connecting.

Lou: 33:59

I, I think it's important to understand the impetus of it. And that was in the spirit of master of the art, of connecting and understanding connections itself. I, I actually have this belief in, and that's what was in my first book, that we have this connecting core inside of us. And the connecting core are kind of like muscles that we flex when we try to connect with people. Truth be told. I understand it because that's kind of what I do when I'm doing things, but I recognized it was a, it was a little bit of a vague message and hard to grasp for everybody, so I double clicked down. So think of it this way. I, I recognize that I, I couldn't quite clearly explain. How connection worked, as well as when I started to double click down and realize, well, what. Where does every conversation, where does every, excuse me, where does every connection begin? Mm-hmm. and then I realize it. It does. It begins with every conversation we have with someone, and we all know that when we have that conversation, that's the starting point of where a relationship begins. That's where it began with you and me. That's where it began with some of the listeners that listen to the show and have other connections in their lives, some conversation, and it's always a good conversation, is where that connection begin. But we all know that not every conversation connects. Sometimes it, the conversation is fleeting. Sometimes the business meeting where you're having the sales pitch doesn't land. You don't get the job. You go on a first date and there is no second date. You have a conversation with your kids to clean their room, and they just don't seem to get the message, right? Mm-hmm. sometimes our conversations don't connect, but what if all of them. What if we knew how to have a conversation every single time so that it would lead to a great connection, then any conversation we had would lead to some kind of connection with that person where we can connect, engage and win. And I realized, as I've hinted throughout this podcast, I've been having those conversations, a lot of them, and I've kind of decoded not what you need to say and not what you need to do to make the connection through every convers. What I realized, Robin, it's, it's how you need to be, how you need to be in every single conversation. The way you bring yourself to the table, the way you actually step into, as I like to say it, that little inner club that speak easy, that you would, where it's a cool place to be where people wanna connect and have conversations and wanna enjoy the relationships that they established from them. So what I realized was I wanted to help people understand whether they were great conversationalists or not, that the lessons learned from some of the best conversationalists out there in the world have used certain tactics along the way that flow. By the way, if you figured it out when you were listening from intro to outro, just as we do in a podcast on how you need to be in every aspect of a conversation before, during, and after, so that every time you have a conversation, you increase the likelihood. You'll have another one, cuz that's where the relationships will go between every conversation you have. And that's what I've focused on and, and, and the output of it as I'm holding it here was, is speak easy And to say I'm proud of it is one thing, but what I've also realized is how tactically useful it is. And when I'm going into businesses, Robin and doing my workshops and speaking this message to them about speakeasy, how much fun it is. There's a lot of simplicity to it, but there's also a lot of work that you need to put in to make sure that you continually practice working those muscles so that you can work on the connection skills that you need to speak easy each time. You know,

Robin: 37:37

Lou, it's a profound book. If I had had this book before I joined the F B I and during the fbi, I, I guarantee you I would've done so much better at my job I'd become my go-to recommendation for anyone who's trying to have a great conversation, make most importantly a good, healthy, strong connection. Instead of asking what people should stop doing, because then we'll focus on the negative What are a few things people should start doing if they really wanna do a better job making those connections? So say someone knows they're in a business where, relationship building is important and, and they're either their organization or they themselves are kind of falling short of that, what are the few things they could probably start doing right away that you see? As probably the most common things people are struggling with. Yeah.

Lou: 38:26

Le le, let's start with. Just kickstarting the conversation, right? Like, like I breaking the ice. In fact, I, one of the things that we did in the book that was a lot of fun was we, we created a special bar cart menu at the very end, robin, where we give kind of the ingredients on what you need to bring to the table and how you need to be to engage in that and an icebreaker. Is really one of the first ones, right? And I, and one of the things that I always tell people to practice, by the way, you can practice your conversations beforehand. And in fact, people have been doing that with interviews for years. College students have been doing something. And one of the things that I always recommend people to work on is what, what's called your TMAY tell me about yourself. Right? You can probably summarize what you. Really quickly to someone and, and, and they kind of wanna know cuz it's gonna come up when someone says, well, what is the line of work and what you do? And by the way, it's not your job title, it's not like, well I'm the chief financial officer of this investment bank. That that isn't what you do. That's, that's the role that, that you've been given. Who are you? And a lot of times we want to hear someone's superpower come out of this. And that's one of my big things is you gotta unleash that superpower when you, when you do this. Right? So, Practice your teammate. Tell me about yourself. You know, I, I'll do the fast version is that I'll, the, my favorite simple one is that I'm a sales and leadership consultant and I speak and I write about connecting. And, and, and as quickly as that is, people will then ask lots of questions from this. And if you can get it down to that simple of a way of describing what it is you do or the thing that you focus on, that's great. I joke about it that when I. LinkedIn descriptions of people and their titles. Aside from the fact that everyone on LinkedIn is a professional speaker. I just wanna make it clear, I just checked it out. Every single person is the title speaker, self included. I think we actually may have even taken it out, but, but one of the things that's good is that can, can you, can you make it. More simple into one line. Work with yourself to try to help tell your, tell me about yourself in a really quick way, and you mentioned it earlier. Look, I empower people to connect, engage and win. That's what I do, and the way I do it is as a sales and leadership consultant and as an author and a podcaster, and that's the, the, the message on how I do it. Think about how you can tell anyone about yourself just to ice break a conversation, and by the way, then you flip it right back to them. What about you? Tell me about you and, and that's a really great way to get a conversation going. If people practice that more often, actually, like even rehearse it or sound it out, it may sound a little cheesy, it won't sound forced, it'll be, it shows that you actually can be appreciative of someone's time to not just go, well, I do a lot of things and go into all run rigamarole about telling who you are. Just get to the quick points of what you are is a fun way to ice break a convers.

Robin: 41:17

What are some of the funnest things you've enjoyed about where you're at right now, do you think?

Lou: 41:23

I'm gonna give it, I'm gonna go back to behind the microphone and the podcast because we, we just had a conversation with somebody recently. Who stated if, if they could make money all day long, podcasting, that's all they would do because they love it so much. And I, and I do agree with that. You and I have talked about like, there's so much joy. I'm spoiled sitting in the host seat as, as you are because there's such a wealth of information on learning about great people and, and engaging. We're practicing the speakeasy art form right here, right now. And it's fun and, and it's, it's energizing. I, I would love to do the podcasting thing all the time, but the other thing that I really love doing is teaching people how to use the podcast to grow their business. And that's been a new variable because I've been doing it for so long. We started looking into it, Robin, that we started to figure out a method, a methodology in how to use the platform, not just by the number of listeners or you know, by an advertising or pro a promotional thing. We're using the podcast to help grow our business. We're using the podcast to bring in new clients and feature the clients that we're working with to market them. I'm, I've been hired by other companies to host podcasts at their events, which is like the Kookiest thing in the entire world, and it's all because I'm using my skills of being able to have a conversation with people. And enjoying it and having, and having a ton of fun doing it. So I'm having fun doing the podcast, and now I'm having fun teaching others. I guess that's that teaching thing again. Yeah. How they can benefit from the, the speakeasy method, if you would, on I, I, I've been coining it. Turning your podcast into podcast. No, I

Robin: 43:01

like that. This has been a huge thread through your life from the very early to right now. Showing how it's applied to business and every aspect of your life. And you referenced it a little bit ago and it just popped in my mind again. You have a great family. You got great. Yeah. Really highly successful kids. I think what a lot of people are struggling with sometimes and challenged with is they might be really good at work and they're really successful there. how have you been able to, you speak easy at home and have a great healthy life with

Lou: 43:35

your, with your family? That it it's funny, the dedication of the book is to my wife because you know, she, as I say in, in the dedication, she is the easiest person to speak to. And, and so to dedicate speakeasy to her was good. Look, I, I think I've got my priority straight. They are the most, I. People in my lives. Being, being the dad to my kids is the greatest gig on earth. Being married to my wife is, is, is an honor and a pleasure each day because she's my best friend. And, and we we're going through the ups and downs like anybody else. And my, even my extended family from my in-laws to my parents, to my siblings and, and brothers-in-law and stuff like that, family has always been really important because, That's gonna, the one that's gonna be with you the most, and those are the ones you're gonna have the most conversations with over and over and over again. There was that TV show for a long time, I think it was called Brothers and Sisters. I, I actually never watched it. I think it was on a, b, c for years, Uhhuh like, like, maybe like 15 years ago. And it seemed like the whole show was focused on the brothers and sisters talking on the phone with each other. And that seems to happen a lot with me and my sisters, right? So my conversational ability is definitely wor been. Practice throughout my entire life, usually talking about u silly movie quotes. But what's even more fun is I'm now seeing the next generation connect. My nieces and nephews and cousins and kids and stuff are all connecting and have relationships and, and I think it's important. What I bring from speakeasy is the most important aspect of it. Okay. You gotta listen. More than you talk. It's asking and listening versus talking and telling. And I think if you, if you make sure you don't sound like this patriarchal person or talking and telling like you're a know-it-all or what do they call it? Man, mansplaining or whatever. Mansplaining, right? mansplaining, any of that stuff. Let me make it clear. We, we, we know nothing more than really what you know, we do each and every day. and we probably can learn more if we listen more. So if there's one thing, the book is called speakeasy, but remember, part of having a conversation is listening. And I think it's real important that you bring your listening focus, listening into your home, and, and listen to everybody give, give a chance to absorb all that great information. Even though you may be a father. You know, a grandfather, whatever it might be, that's something that our family has always been very open to. It's a coach-like environment, I guess, where everyone's willing to, to listen. Not always listen to what you say, but at least listen to listen to the situation. But I, but that's always been a part. And by the way, my friends as well, very close friends um, because those are the connections in my life. So, I, I live and breathe what I do in the, in the business place, and I carry it over into my personal life as well. And, and I'll extend it, one derivative to you, Robin. And that is, there's this network which we talked about before we hit record, this little nichey place of all of these great podcasters who love and do what we do. And they're, this is some of my favorite conversations. The chance to talk to people who totally get what it's like to be sitting in that chair. And understand the value of it and the power of it. And I think there's a connectivity amongst that circle of people. That is something I value on par with, with family and friends as well. It is

Robin: 46:41

definitely the greatest honor and privilege be sitting and, and listening and learning from masters of their thread of life. And it's what you are. Lou, what's something I should have asked you that I didn't ask you that you wanted to make sure you shared before we.

Lou: 46:56

You should have asked me if I could listen, if I can go see one performer this year in 2023, recording this in February, 2023 live, which, which performer would I wanna see? That's the question. Alright. It's, it's, it's Bruce Springsteen because I tried to get the tickets four or five times. So this is my, as to any listers out there, anyone's got a hook for other Bruce tickets when he's on tour. I got and

Robin: 47:16

I've been trying the commercial, I just heard the commercial for that today too. Believe it or not,

Lou: 47:21

he's, I, I, I know like there's this, it's gonna be chaos when he goes to New York this summer because there, if you look at the calendar, what he typically does is he adds certain dates in certain locations, right? And you could see where they are. But the price of these tickets, Robin, have gone through the roof. So anyway, I'm just, you know, I'm, I'm navigating, I'm using every angle I can. I'm using all my connected powers so I can see Bruce more time. He's my favorite artist. I've seen him several times. I just wanted to catch him this go around, even though he

Robin: 47:47

is from Jersey and you're from New

Lou: 47:48

York. You know what I wanna make, I wanna make this clip. I have a sister now who lives in New Jersey. I have other cousins who've lived there for a while. Jersey gets a bad rap. It really does. I mean, I know it's, it, it's specifically because, The area of Jersey that is immediately outside of New York City, which is that very industrial, it's the opening scene from the Sopranos, you know, where he's driving through all the, you know, the gas tanks and the oil tanks or whatever it is, and, right. That, that area, that's, that's why Jersey gets that rep. But dude, It is the garden state. I mean, go check out North Bergen County. It's freaking gorgeous and obviously the south all the way down to AC and the shore and stuff like that. It's a pretty good place. I mean, it's not New York like you and I recognize, but it's not so bad.

Robin: 48:30

Lou, it's been a complete pleasure. Where can people go to get more of you in their lives?

Lou: 48:35

So if you're interested in grabbing a copy of speakeasy, go to speakeasy book.com and that will actually route you to thrive loud.com where you can find everything. There is about me, my speaking, my consulting, all my workshops that we do at Thrive Loud. And obviously that also is a place that you can link up and catch the Thrive Loud with Lou Diamond podcast. And lastly, anywhere on social media, very easy. Thrive loud, T H R I. L O U d.

Robin: 49:00

Yes, and everyone, as always, all those are in the show notes, and I highly, highly, highly recommends you not only tune into his podcast for his amazing guests, but that book right there, he just highlighted speakeasy. It was a treasure of the year. It's in my top list that I'm gonna recommend for everyone. Hands down, the greatest conversational book. Add to your life to create the good, healthy conversations and relationships and forge the trust you need to move forward. Lou, it's been an honor, a pleasure, and a humbling experience having you on the show. Thank you so

Lou: 49:33

much. Truly my honor, man. Thank you for having me, Robin.

Robin: 49:36

Thank you for tuning into another episode of Forge By Trust. Remember, if you want to forge trust, it's not how you make people feel about you that matters. It's how you make them feel about themselves. If you're interested in more information about how it can help you forge your own trust, building communication, and interpersonal strategies as your coach, a trusted advisor. Uh, speaker or for your organization, please visit my website@www.peopleformula.com. I'm looking forward to sharing my next Forged by Trust episode with you next week when we chat with world renowned Body Language expert and the human polygraph, Susan Ibis.