Postpartum Planning Class: A PSI Resource

Welcome to the I Am One podcast. On today's episode, we're talking about something that doesn't get nearly enough attention in all of those months of getting ready for baby: your mental health after they arrive. We plan for birth, for feeding, for the nursery and the car seat in a hospital bag or bags. Listen, nobody's judging, okay? You pack as many bags as you need. But the emotional reality of postpartum, that part usually gets skipped or saved for after the fact when you're already in the thick of it. Luckily, PSI has a free postpartum planning class designed to change that. It helps expectant parents think ahead about their own well-being, not just the newborn logistics, so that when things get hard, you've already got something in place to help. So without any further ado, please sit back, relax, and enjoy this episode spotlighting PSI's postpartum planning class. 

Mentioned on today's episode:

• Postpartum Planning Class
• Postpartum Planning Class en Español
• Postpartum Planning PDF
• Learn more about Matrescence
• Connect with Patricia: ppclass@postpartum.net

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Fill out our podcast interest form here!

Questions about the I AM ONE Podcast?
Email Dani Giddens - dani@postpartum.net

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Transcript

Introduction | Postpartum Mental Health & Planning Ahead

Dani 0:00

Welcome to the I Am One Podcast. On today's episode, we're talking about something that doesn't get nearly enough attention in all of those months of getting ready for baby, your mental health after they arrive. We plan for birth, for feeding, for the nursery in the car seat in the hospital bag, or bags. Listen, nobody's judging, okay? You pack as many bags as you need. But the emotional reality of postpartum, that part usually gets skipped or saved for after the fact when you're already in the thick of it. Luckily, PSI has a free postpartum planning class designed to change that. It helps expectant parents think ahead about their own well-being, not just the newborn logistics, so that when things get hard, you've already got something in place to help. So without any further ado, please sit back, relax, and enjoy this episode, spotlighting PSI's postpartum planning class. Patricia, welcome to the podcast studio. We are so excited to be here with you today. Fun fact for everybody listening: Patricia is a returning guest. You shared about your lived experience on episode 65 of the podcast. And we are so glad to be here with you today to talk about a little something different, and that is PSI's postpartum planning class. So welcome back to the studio.

Patricia 1:16

Thank you so much for having me.

Emily 1:18

Yeah. Round of applause.

Patricia 1:22

Very excited to talk about this resource.

Emily 1:24

Yes, so are we. We're excited to hear about it because we don't know much.

Dani 1:29

Yeah, because you know what? This didn't exist when we were needing it.

Emily 1:33

That's right.

Dani 1:34

Not to age ourselves, but we have teenagers.

Emily 1:37

So yes, it was not available.

Dani 1:40

Not around. So we're real excited for folks who need this resource now that it exists. Before we dive right in, could you give us a little intro to who you are? And then we'll jump into all of our burning questions.

Patricia 1:54

Yeah, absolutely. So my name is Patricia Hopman. I'm on staff at PSI as our support group's program assistant. And I also manage our postpartum planning class. I attend each class, which are all virtual, and help to moderate the class, provide resources, answer questions. Cool.

Dani 2:15

So like you're in the chat.

Patricia 2:17

That's right.

Dani 2:17

Cool. Cool. Now everybody knows.

What the Class Covers & Why It Matters

Emily 2:22

Okay. First question: What is the postpartum planning class?

Patricia 2:26

Great question. So the postpartum planning class teaches psychoeducation and practical steps to support parents' mental health and emotional well-being after giving birth. So, you know, I think the norm is a lot of folks will plan to take like a birthing class.

Emily 2:45

Totally.

Patricia 2:46

Or a lactation class. And this class doesn't really address like the birth itself. Right. But is really focused on the parents' mental health in the postpartum period.

Dani 3:01

Yeah. I went to like a childbirth prep class. There was no like and then what class. So this is cool.

Emily 3:10

Right. It's like planning for a wedding and not planning for the thing after the wedding, which is the marriage, right? Like I am planning for the birth, which it could be an hour, it could be a few days. The universe willing isn't gonna last more than a couple days. Yes. And then you have a baby now, what?

Dani 3:30

Mm-hmm.

Patricia 3:31

Exactly. And what we know is that perinatal mental health challenges are the number one complication associated with childbirth. And so we want to close that gap and, you know, meet parents while they're still pregnant, while they're still, you know, planning on growing their family to start talking about these kinds of things.

Dani 3:53

Well, before they're sleep deprived and in the thick of it.

Patricia 3:57

Right.

Emily 3:57

Before they can't retain any information.

Dani 4:00

Right.

Patricia 4:01

Exactly. Yes.

Dani 4:02

When I was pregnant, I didn't think about the next step.

Patricia 4:06

Right.

Dani 4:06

I didn't have plans. It was like they're gonna let us leave the hospital now. Okay, here we go. And thus began the biggest secret to parenthood is that like we're all winging it. But we don't have to be winging every aspect of it. We can think about it. We can be intentional. Listen, you could have the best birth plan, the best postpartum plan, and it may not go the way that you plan out, but at least thinking through some important things is probably pretty helpful, uh, which is why PSI offers the class.

Patricia 4:35

Right. And, you know, speaking about birth plans, you know, that's definitely something that we address in class. First of all, what is a birth plan? What should be on that plan, and maybe what to leave off. And then also how to kind of manage your emotions when that plan doesn't go as planned, because that can be really challenging for a new parent. We encourage parents to be flexible in their birth plan. And we also address, you know, managing expectations and how that affects our mental health.

Dani 5:09

Right. Hashtag expect the unexpected. Yeah.

Who the Class Is For (Parents, Partners & Support Systems)

Patricia 5:12

For real. Patricia, who is this class for?

Dani 5:17

Who attends this class?

Patricia 5:18

So all expectant parents are welcome. That means moms, dads, birthing people, non-gestational parents, partners, single parents, anybody who your family is growing, anybody can attend. The only people that really this class is not for is medical professionals. So like nurses or psychiatrists or doulas, if you want to observe the class, we don't allow observations. Unless they're also pregnant. That's correct. If it's for you, okay.

Dani 5:51

Absolutely. So what you're saying is that this is a really helpful resource. And it's a great idea if you're going to be suggesting a resource to know more about it. If there is a provider that would like to know more about it, so they're not allowed to come attend class. Like you can't audit the class, right?

Patricia 6:08

Right.

Dani 6:08

You can't observe it. How can they get more info about the class?

Patricia 6:12

Just email me. Uh I have a lot of providers, whether it's, you know, a Doula or an OBGYN, that will email me and ask for more information about the class. And while, you know, we don't share the slideshow to the public. I'm happy to answer any questions. I can get on a Zoom with you. We can get on a phone call, whatever the case may be. But no matter what, the postpartum plan PDF is public and free and available on our website, whether you register for the class or not. It's a really wonderful tool, like a worksheet to start brainstorming and planning for the postpartum period.

Dani 6:55

Yeah, it's great. It's got like some prompts and then you can fill in the blank. You can kind of do be doing some reflection and fill in the blank for, you know, whatever feels like the right thing for you. I want to mention though, also though, we're gonna put your email address. What is your email address?

Patricia 7:08

So it is PPclass at postpartum.net. So instead of the entire title of postpartum planning class, it's just the letter P, the letter P class at postpartum.net.

Dani 7:20

That's very thoughtful.

Patricia 7:21

Yes.

Dani 7:22

Yes, that's great. So we'll put that email address in the show notes. We'll put a link to the website, to the postpartum plan, all that in the show notes. But I just wanted to let everybody know that you don't have to be frantically writing it down. Just listen and you can check the show notes because we'll put all the info there.

Emily 7:39

I have a follow-up question. Yeah. I also need to burp. So I'm oh, hold on. Take your time. I'm like trying to make sure that I'm not about to be like in the middle of asking this question. Okay. Here's my follow-up question. We talked about who can attend, but I want to clarify something. If I am in the process of adopting, is this class for me?

Patricia 8:00

I would say yes. I would say that, you know, if you're adopting, your family is growing. So I think that absolutely is an appropriate audience for this class.

Dani 8:09

I have a follow-up question. Hi, insert 20 questions here. What if uh we are a multi-generational family household and somebody in my house, not me, not my partner, is having a baby? Is this appropriate for me? If I'm the grandma?

Patricia 8:25

Yes, because you you count as the support person.

Emily 8:28

Oh, like we're in the household. We're all gonna go through this change together.

Patricia 8:33

Support people count.

unknown 8:34

Okay.

What to Expect: Format, Community & Participation

Emily 8:35

Okay, next question. So hypothetically, I am pregnant, I'm interested in this class, I sign up. How many other people are gonna be there? Am I like making new friends? Am I meeting people? Or talk me through this?

Patricia 8:48

Yeah, so we have for registration purposes on our website, which we use Zoom to host this class, and we capped registration at 25 people just to be able to kind of like manage the conversations and the QA's. That makes sense. And you know, when you come into class, you will introduce yourself in the chat and just let us know like, is this your first baby, second, third? What are you concerned about? Um, because we love to make these connections during intros. And it's funny how many times in the chat people will see, oh, you you live in Michigan, I live in Michigan too, and make those connections.

Dani 9:29

Cool.

Patricia 9:30

Yeah, creating this like virtual community. Cameras aren't required for the class, but a lot of people do put their cameras on and it's just come as you are. If you're like in your jammies lying in bed because you're pregnant, that is totally fine.

Dani 9:45

Yeah. Is participation required? Or is it okay to come and not participate and just listen? What if I'm a little nervous? I don't know.

Patricia 9:54

Yeah. It's okay to be nervous and there are no such thing as stupid questions. So just like our peer support groups, introductions are required. But other than that, further participation is not required. So you can sit and listen and absorb and take notes. It's a two-hour class. So there are two breaks for QA.

Dani 10:15

Slash the potty.

Patricia 10:17

Exactly. Because once again, we are probably, you know, talking to a lot of pregnant people here. And then at the end of class, we will pull up that postpartum plan PDF on the screen together and start brainstorming and start filling it out.

Dani 10:34

Oh, cool. Other attendees in the class are like, okay, well, they're looking at the question and then they're sharing sometimes. That's kind of nice to hear from other people because sometimes like you might not know your answer. Not that the goal is to copy other people's homework, but it's kind of nice to go, oh, okay. Well, I hadn't thought of that question. And like, oh, that's an interesting answer. And that one is too.

Emily 10:54

Or I'm worried about that too. Exactly. I'm interested in discussing this part because that's also something that's sort of on my radar.

Patricia 11:02

Yeah. Right. And in, you know, one of the sections of the plan, we talk about what are some signs that I'm feeling stressed and overwhelmed. I may never have thought about that before. So it's giving people an opportunity to be reflective and write these things down. And again, you know, somebody else in class may say, Well, I actually am super irritated. And other people might say, I actually withdraw. And then other people in the class might read that and say, Oh, you know what? I do that too.

Dani 11:36

Really kind of like that having that sense of community and knowing that like you may be feeling some of the same things that other attendees are feeling, just knowing that you're not alone in that. You know, this is not all rainbows and unicorns and Yeah.

Patricia 11:50

And especially during the QA's, you know, again, there are no stupid questions. So people are asking questions about medications and uh sleep training. And well, my provider said this about my anxiety medication that, you know, they don't want me to take anymore. And and lots of just like, it's always good to get a second opinion.

Emily 12:12

I mean, but what they're coming up with are the questions that we hear all the time. Right. Like whether people are asking them in a support group, or they're asking them of a coordinator, or they're asking their mentor. Or on the helpline. These are the questions that come up all the time. Is this medication okay? My doctor said I should do this thing this way. I, you know, or my mother says I should do this thing this way, right?

Dani 12:41

That's a great opportunity to go. Have you heard of this site consult line? You know, here's a resource you could share with your provider.

Emily 12:48

Anyway, I have more questions about class content. Do you want to do yeah, let's talk about class content.

Class Topics: Sleep, Feeding, Crying & Mental Health

Patricia 12:53

Would it be helpful for you if I just went through a quick, like 10-point outline of topics covered in class? Let's do it.

Emily 13:01

I would love it. I would like the 10-point postpartum planning class inspection, please. 10-point inspection. Let's go. Like, what's the elevator speech?

Patricia 13:11

Yeah, absolutely. So we talk about the top three concerns of new parents. Like you were saying, these are the top three things in every area that parents are worried about, whether it's a support group or their provider or the hotline or with their best friends. They're worried about how am I gonna sleep? How am I gonna feed my baby? And what do I do with a crying baby? So while we don't give necessarily like a play-by-play outline of how to do those things, we address it from a mental health perspective. Like, for example, nobody ever told me how being sleep deprived was going to be so incredibly detrimental for my mental health. So that's why we want to talk about it now, why sleep deprivation is so serious. Then we talk about managing expectations. We talk about physical changes and hormone changes. Again, not from like a clinical biological perspective necessarily, but more so why these hormonal and physical changes affect us mentally and emotionally. We talk about perinatal mental health disorder risk factors. We list all these risk factors not to scare people, but really when you know better, you do better, right? So we want to let you know what all of the risk factors are. And when some of them kind of ring a bell for you, then you can balance that out with protective factors, things that you can kind of like pad yourself with and surround yourself with as a protective measure during the postpartum period. We talk about perinatal mental health disorders themselves and the signs and symptoms of all of them. And we talk about how to build support systems and self-care.

Dani 14:56

Cool.

Patricia 14:56

It's a lot of material.

Emily 14:59

It is a lot of material. It's a full two-hour class. I'm trying like I'm trying to remember pregnant me would have benefited immensely from literally every point of that content. There were things I wasn't thinking about.

Dani 15:16

Oh, totally. Even just knowing that it is not uncommon that XYZ might come up. It might be something that you deal with postpartum, would have been enough for me to go, oh, I heard them talking about this in that postpartum planning class. Right. I mean, there's probably a lot of people that experience this, so it's probably okay for me to like mention it to my BFF or my partner or my provider when I go in.

Patricia 15:43

Yeah, that's the goal.

Emily 15:44

Yeah.

Patricia 15:45

That's the goal for sure.

Emily 15:47

I didn't think once before delivering about protecting my sleep.

unknown 15:52

Oh, yeah.

Emily 15:53

Or about what might happen when I wasn't getting enough.

Patricia 15:58

Right.

Emily 15:58

Like I was like, I've pulled an all-nighter in college or whatever.

Patricia 16:02

A hundred percent. Exactly.

Emily 16:03

That was one night. That was one night.

Patricia 16:09

Yeah.

Emily 16:11

Having a conversation about protecting my sleep with my partner would have made a big difference. Yeah.

Patricia 16:19

Yeah. You know, there's there's all these aha moments that happen in peer support groups and, you know, on the helpline and during a climb and all these other spaces where parents say, Nobody ever told me, fill in the blank. So we want to be those people that tell you ahead of time. So that you're not left kind of alone after giving birth, saying, wait a minute, nobody ever told me. We're gonna tell you.

Dani 16:45

Yeah. This just in.

Emily 16:47

I mean, the list of risk factors is so valuable, right? Because you're not going, okay, these risk factors, they mean something. What these risk factors mean is if you're finding yourself saying yes to one or two of them, then make sure that you're thinking about what you can do for yourself, right? Like in your filling out of the postpartum plan and then executing said plan.

Dani 17:11

And sometimes what you can do for yourself is saying something.

Patricia 17:15

Absolutely.

Dani 17:16

By doing something for yourself, it doesn't mean that you are going to leave with the skills to combat postpartum depression and and solve it yourself. Not even therapists can do that for themselves, okay? Sometimes therapy, you know, sometimes you might need some meds, sometimes you might need to talk to a doctor, maybe you need some peer support.

Patricia 17:34

Or any combination therein. Yes. And nobody's meant to do this alone. Yes. And, you know, the interesting thing to me about risk factors is that even if I do check off five risk factors on the list, it's not a guarantee that I'm gonna come out with postpartum anxiety and depression. It's just something to be aware of. Yeah.

Emily 17:54

Even a conversation about that with a parent, like the grandparent, right? Your parent, your partner, your bestie, because they might be getting more sleep than you a couple months from now. And they might be able to remember this conversation and go, okay, let's have a chat again, right?

Patricia 18:12

Right.

Support Systems, Partners & the Invisible Load

Emily 18:13

Knowledge is power.

Patricia 18:15

Knowledge is power. And one of the resources that we discuss during class is our discussion tool.

Dani 18:22

Yes. I was hoping you'd bring that up. Yeah.

Patricia 18:25

Right. Because sometimes we don't know how to put words to what we're feeling. You know, I just had a baby three weeks ago and I feel tired and I feel grouchy. I don't feel like myself, but I don't know what to say either to my partner or my provider. And the discussion tool is a great resource. It just gives you the words so you don't have to think of them yourselves. And I should say that, you know, during class, because again, this is a two-hour class, we cover a lot of stuff. And throughout class, every book, every website, every podcast, because we do mention the podcast, hey, is given to the participants in an email the next day. So when you come to class, don't worry about writing everything down. Definitely take notes, but we want to let you know that all of the resources will be given to you because we want you to have them and we don't want to leave you hanging.

Dani 19:20

Yes. So who teaches the class?

Patricia 19:24

Great question. So all of our instructors are on staff at PSI. They are all parents themselves. Additionally, some of them are nurses, some are therapists, some are doulas, and all of our instructors have the lived experience of having a perenatal mental health challenge.

Dani 19:41

That's really, I mean, it's not cool that it happened, but I was gonna say that's really cool. What it's really nice is that it's being taught by somebody who's experienced it. And sometimes when you show up to a space and somebody's been there, it means a lot.

Patricia 19:56

Yeah, absolutely.

Dani 19:58

Yeah, really great instructors.

Patricia 20:00

Really great instructors. I also did want to mention that when I was talking about like the discussion tool, and you mentioned, you know, how other people are going who are gonna have a little bit more sleep than we do, they're gonna be the ones who maybe say to us, like, hey, how are you feeling? We get a lot of partners in the group who ask, what can I do? Tell me what to do. I need a to-do list. And we address that. We give our partners and support people actionable items and things that they can do, both physically and mentally, to support the birthing person during this time.

Dani 20:37

Oh my gosh, you are completely addressing the invisible load. Yeah.

Patricia 20:42

Like, don't make me think of what you need to do.

Emily 20:45

Yes.

Dani 20:46

Don't make me come up with a list of things that I need from you.

Patricia 20:48

Like, yes. It's about the art of noticing, noticing what needs to be refilled or replenished or done without being asked. It sounds like such a no-brainer, but it is a huge support for the birthing person.

unknown 21:07

Gosh.

Emily 21:07

Yeah. I mean, that's everything from if you've got medications and one of those Monday through Friday things, noticing, then saying, hey, I'm gonna refill these for you, right? Or the diapers that are on the thing that are next to where you change, noticing, like put your thinking hat on and your eyeballs in your head, and then do the things that you see.

Dani 21:29

Are there any diapers? Are we low on formula?

Patricia 21:32

And what an amazing time that we live in where everything can be delivered to our front door. Let's take advantage of that during this time.

Dani 21:40

Mm-hmm.

Emily 21:41

That makes it easier, but it doesn't mean that when a sleep deprived new parent who's just delivered a baby goes to pick up their phone to do that, that they're not gonna immediately fall asleep before they click order now. Okay. So take it off their plate.

Dani 21:56

Yeah.

Emily 21:57

Yeah.

Dani 21:57

Yes. Oh, that's so cool that you uh Talk about that in class.

unknown 22:01

Yes.

Patricia 22:02

I mean, we know that also dads and partners are susceptible to perinatal mental health disorders as well. And we want them to know that we see you and you deserve support as well.

Dani 22:13

There's a support group for that.

Patricia 22:15

There's a support group for that.

Emily 22:16

Yes. Yes. If the other grown-up in your household is having a hard time, it would be hard not to also have a hard time.

Patricia 22:25

Sure. Yeah. That's what we're seeing. Yeah.

How to Sign Up & Attend the Free Class

Emily 22:27

Yeah.

Dani 22:28

Okay. I am curious if this is sounding like a good idea to somebody who's listening. They might be wondering, how do I register? Can you kind of talk us through what to do if anybody listening is interested in attending this class or maybe, hey providers, how's it going? Shout out if some providers have patients that they would like to share this resource with. Just they might want to know how it works.

Emily 22:55

So or you're listening and your bestie's pregnant. Yeah. Like all of that.

Patricia 23:00

Just sign her up. Just go ahead and sign her up. Why not? It's free. Why not? True. It's free. Go to our website, postpartum.net. Under the section get help, you will see postpartum planning class. On that webpage, you can read more about what we cover in class, and you can sign up for free. We hold class four times a month. Wow. Okay. There's always one coming up. There's always one coming up.

Dani 23:28

Okay.

Patricia 23:29

And we tried to kind of space it out various times of day because we are international and we want parents and families all over the world to have this resource. So we hold class on the first and third Wednesdays of each month, on the first Friday of each month, and the second Tuesday of each month. All those dates and times are on our website.

Dani 23:50

I don't even think you were reading something. You just no. Patricia's like, well, it's on this one. You just know. That was impressive.

Patricia 23:58

I've been doing this for a couple months.

Dani 24:00

Yes. Very cool. That's awesome. So four times a month, fully online. It's free. You can sign up so easily online. Again, like I said earlier, the links in the show notes for that. Um, Emily is raising her hand because this is an audio only episode, man. I'm just I'm just narrating now. Emily's raising her hand. Go on.

Patricia 24:21

It's like we're holding class.

Emily 24:22

Well, I would like to represent the ADHD contingent and say, what happens if I signed up for the class and then something came up? I didn't attend. I totally spaced. I fell asleep because I am pregnant. I am growing a human, which is exhausting. Like, can I sign up for another one? It's okay. Sure. Like we're still gonna be friends.

Patricia 24:47

Sure.

Emily 24:48

Okay.

Patricia 24:48

I will welcome you with open arms. Come on down.

Emily 24:52

So it's okay if something comes up.

Patricia 24:54

Absolutely. And you know, we like to ideally have everybody who can attend, you know, join at the beginning of class. But if you have to hop off after the first hour because you have an OBGYN appointment or whatever, that's fine too. You're not gonna get a ticket. You're not gonna get a failing grade. Like it's okay.

Emily 25:14

Yeah, it's ungraded.

Dani 25:16

Yeah. But otherwise, if you can try to have two hours that you can um, so you can get all of the good great info.

Patricia 25:24

That's right.

Dani 25:25

Cool.

Emily 25:26

Okay, I assume when you sign up, you're gonna then get probably an email reminder.

Patricia 25:31

That's right.

Emily 25:32

So it's not like I have to I sign up and then I'm like, okay, I better commit this to memory right now. I'm gonna get an email that's like see you in class tomorrow or something like that.

Patricia 25:41

Exactly. Because we use Zoom for this class, you will get a registration confirmation email from Zoom that has the direct Zoom link and a link to the postpartum PDF. So you can go ahead and take a look at it before class. If you're the type of student who likes to read the docs before class, familiarize yourself with the docs, okay. You will have that.

Dani 26:10

Patricia, you just pointed at yourself. Is that you?

Patricia 26:13

It's me.

Dani 26:13

It's you. Okay. Yeah. You want to come prepared for class.

Patricia 26:18

I do. Guilty.

Dani 26:20

I like that. I have a question.

Patricia 26:23

Danny.

Dani 26:23

Oh, thanks. All right. So, what would you like providers to know about this class?

Patricia 26:29

I think providers should know that this is a free resource that is applicable to every demographic of patient that you could have. And if you're curious about the resources or the data that we use, we are pulling from the latest data from the American Academy of Pediatrics. And so if you have any questions about is this class right for my client, just email me. Just ask, and I'm happy to answer any questions that you have. Moving forward, and this is something that Emily and Danny and I did not talk about beforehand. But in the future, what we're trying to build is a class specifically for providers, kind of like an informational session for all of those providers who do have these questions. We want to provide a session for them to kind of come and see what we do without it being a class that they observe with other participants in it.

Dani 27:30

Wow, you heard it here first. This is exclusive info.

Emily 27:34

Is this gonna be live also?

Patricia 27:37

Yes. Oh, cool.

Dani 27:38

So, like, put this on your radar.

Patricia 27:41

That's right. Check back often.

Dani 27:43

Okay, cool. Okay. And then what would you like potential attendees to know?

Patricia 27:48

I want potential attendees to know that I promise you you will get something out of this class. I know that when I was pregnant for the first time, I felt like I was prepared. I had seen my siblings have kids. I, you know, signed up for a birth in class and I felt like I was ready, but I was not ready. So I say this with love. You really can't learn enough about mental health during this period. So just go ahead and sign up and come curious. And no, again, no questions are stupid. Yeah.

Dani 28:24

Yeah. I thought that I was gonna have it all figured out, you know, since I was uh a nanny babysitter all through high school, you know. I was like, I got this. Right. But I wasn't there for, you know, everybody waking up in the middle of the night or doing all of the dishes or making sure that there's food in the refrigerator and, you know, all the thanks, you know. Yeah.

Patricia 28:43

Mm-hmm.

Dani 28:44

If I could have sent this class back in time 16 years ago.

Patricia 28:48

Oh, 100%. Yes.

Dani 28:50

But I don't have a time machine yet, so that's not possible.

Emily 28:54

Fingers crossed.

Dani 28:55

But what we can do is shout from the rooftops. This is us shouting from the rooftops, digital rooftops with our pod mics. Patricia, is there anything else that um we forgot to ask you um that you want to say? No wrong answers.

Matrescence & Why There Is No “Bouncing Back”

Patricia 29:10

There are no wrong answers. There are no stupid questions, and there are no wrong answers. I will say the only other thing that we've started to include in class is this idea of matrescence as a very real and beautiful stage in our lives when we enter motherhood. I encourage you to Google it. Uh, we can put a link in the chat. But this is something that uh was coined by Dana Raphael in the 70s, this term that kind of addresses becoming a new mother and it goes kind of against what I've certainly heard in my culture a lot, this idea of bouncing back.

Dani 29:49

Oh, yeah.

Patricia 29:50

I know a lot of um people are concerned about bouncing back. And what we know now is that there is no bouncing back. We are in matrescence now. And it's important to start talking about these things because it does also address unrealistic expectations. Yeah, it's important to talk about.

Emily 30:09

You are going through physical changes, you are going through procedural changes in your everyday life.

unknown 30:18

Yeah.

Emily 30:19

You are learning a new skill set, like kind of all at once.

Patricia 30:23

Absolutely.

Emily 30:24

And I mean, I think very nearly every parent that became a parent around the same time that I did talked about like, well, I'm not gonna stop going to XYZ, right? I'm gonna continue doing my book club, my trivia night, my, you know, athletic thing.

Dani 30:44

You may continue doing some of those things. It will look a little bit different. And there may be some things that you're not going to It's gonna look a little different.

Patricia 30:53

And that's not a problem that needs to be solved. It should be celebrated.

Emily 30:56

Yeah. Yeah, it's like there's this pressure to like not change. Like, don't let motherhood change you was a very common narrative. And I think pushing back against that is so important because it's freeing.

unknown 31:10

Yeah.

Emily 31:11

It's like getting a new job or like having a new roommate move in and expecting literally nothing to change, right?

Dani 31:19

A very loud little roommate. Can't wait to get back to before this person was here. Right.

Emily 31:25

Like you wouldn't get back to yourself with a new job. You wouldn't get back to before the new person moved in. Yeah. Well, Patricia.

Patricia 31:34

We could talk for another two hours about this class and then we would have just like covered the entire class. We could have our own two-hour postpartum planning class chat.

Dani 31:42

Yep. We are so grateful for this conversation with you because the more that we can normalize planning for postpartum mental health the same way that we plan for the birth, for taking care of a baby, the better supported families will be. As we mentioned earlier, if you would like to learn more, you want to sign up for um this free class, check out our show notes. You go to postpartum.net, get help, postpartum planning class. We've dropped all the links to all the info that you need. And if you want to reach out to Patricia, you can email her and she'll get back to you. ASAP. Patricia, thank you so much for joining us.

Patricia 32:21

Thank you, Danny and Emily. And we do offer this class in Spanish. I do not manage that class. That is part of our Spanish groups, but we can put a link to that in the show notes as well.

Dani 32:34

We absolutely can and we will do that. And I am so sorry I did not ask about that earlier. I knew about it, and we just got on a roll, and that's incredible too. So thank you so much.

Patricia 32:45

Thank you.

Dani 32:47

Thanks for tuning in to the I Am One podcast. Check out today's show notes where we'll drop links to all the important things that we mentioned in this episode. Please consider sharing about I Am One on social media and following and rating our show wherever it is that you listen to podcasts. It only takes a minute of your time, and well, that'll help our collective mission of bringing resources and local support to folks worldwide. From everyone here at PSI, thanks again for listening.