Real Talk with Karyn Elle: Grubhub Disasters & Relationship Insights!

Ever had a Grubhub disaster? Well, you've got to hear our hilarious tale before we dive into some seriously thought-provoking topics about relationships, energy thieves, and the power of motivation with our guest, Karyn Elle from the Sayith Loud podcast. Together, we share how to recognize who's stealing your energy and how to take your personal brand to the next level, New York style!

As we laugh over first-date costs and car wash frustrations, we also have a candid discussion on gender roles, societal expectations, and the importance of intellect and self-sufficiency in relationships. Plus, we tackle the tricky subject of teaching young men about reciprocation and financial responsibility. Karyn Elle also gives us the inside scoop on her podcast, Sayith Loud, and her upcoming projects, including a Roku channel and a sneaker ball for sickle cell and breast cancer awareness.

Join us as we share some shoutouts and express our appreciation for our listeners. We promise you'll walk away with a fresh perspective, a few chuckles, and an eagerness to join us again at the table next week. So go ahead, hit play, and enjoy the conversation. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe!

Follow Karyn Elle on all of her socials and websites:
http://www.linktr.ee/Sayithloud

Transcript

Styles 0:02

You are now rocking with a brunch hour podcast, the best hour of the day. It's the only podcast I listen to. With your host Styles, i like my hair Red, bone, flat, yellow.

Sound Bite 0:16

Light skin Yellow. I stop.

Styles 0:19

Hello, all right, so check it out. Whoa, let me not be rude Salutations. All right, so check it out. Storytime, real quick. Grubhub, fuck you. I need to stop cursing, cuz I don't know whether it's in the morning, the afternoon, whatever. Anyway, grubhub, fu. So I ordered some food from Grubhub the other day. My man put me onto the soulful spot. He was like yo, you need to check it out, but I'll buy this, that and the third. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it right now. But I ordered the food $30. Food Service fee, tip, everything 30. All in, i'm there. They were like yo, it's gonna take about an hour for it to get there. I'm good with that. I've learned my lesson. You know, don't order the shit when you're hungry because you'll fucking starve to death, right? So I, and now it was nothing as light.

Segment break 1:11

I'll do that shit on my head.

Styles 1:14

I checked the app about an hour. It was a little more than an hour, but I checked the app And the app's, like you know, um, such and such place is actually taking care of the delivery Not necessarily grubbub, but them. So I'm like all right, cool. But it still says that it's like preparing the meal. I know if you I don't know if you guys are familiar, but the shit will still. It won't say that it's like a delivery person or the way to pick it up or anything like that. It'll just say, still, like they just received the order. So I'm cool with it, whatever.

Styles 1:46

15 minutes later, um, i get a pop up. It says has your food arrived? And I'm like nah. So I hit no And it was like what call a restaurant? Now, this is where I started to get aggy, because it's kind of like it defeats the purpose of me ordering the shit through a fucking app. If I got to call a restaurant to find out where my food is, right, fucking, i'll call a restaurant. Phone rings about a billion times and then it just hangs up. So then I go into the help app on Grubhub and I'm like yo, this and this and this is going on. They're like hold on one second sir.

Styles 2:26

I'm going to go and check and I'm going to call the restaurant. They call the restaurant, same thing Comes back. They're like listen, i could cancel it or do you want to wait? All right. So at this point it's been about, i want to say like two hours from the initial time that I actually ordered the food, two hours. So I'm like what's the ramifications if I cancel it? Because now at this point I'm like yo, i've got this, got to be like some perks or something you know, because I'm starving. At this point I am hungry. So they come back and they were like yeah, we'll send you a, we'll definitely send you a credit, along with, you know, your money. Of course, you're going to send my bread back, but we'll send you a credit. Check your email.

Styles 3:10

I should have asked for, you know the, the, the nomination use your word styles, the nomination of the credit before I let the person go. But I didn't do that. I figured, you know it'd be something healthy, got off of it. I went and I checked it and got my bread back and they sent me a fucking coupon for $5. Now I don't know if you guys have ever looked at the line items on the fucking on Grubhub or any other food delivery service, but this service fee is about five bucks. So, like the next time that I order food, the truth discount basically I guess, applies to the service fee. Right, and I know a lot of people out there shaking their heads like yo, you should just go get it Or, you know, call and pick it up and have you know whatever call the restaurant direct as opposed to the app Right. One thing you have to understand about me We think y'all niggas do.

Sound Bite 4:09

I don't do. I do the other thing, everything. Y'all niggas go across the street that way I'm going up. I'll let you boy. I do other things. I don't do what y'all niggas do. I don't do what niggas do. I don't watch niggas money, i don't care, i just do what I do.

Styles 4:23

I need the girl to fuck up, just not today. Not today. Yo, let's get to the show.

Sound Bite 4:32

I used to be in love with this bitch. They mean J The fuck with her. no more. now I fuck with Tango Ray, tango Ray.

Karyn Elle 4:38

Hey yo, what's up? Do we need two shots, Two shots.

Sound Bite 4:44

It's a combo.

Styles 4:47

All right, so I don't know about y'all, but um, yeah, if you stuck with me through that four minute monologue, i love you. I love you Because I pre-record them shits and then do what I do, and I sat here and I listened to it. I'm like your styles. You tell the worst fucking stories on planet Earth, so best believe anything after this. You only get in two sentences. But listen, i have the homie with me tonight. I touched down in New York, y'all. I got Karen L From say it loud podcast. Karen, how are you?

Karyn Elle 5:26

I'm good. How are you What up?

Styles 5:28

Chilling, chilling Back. Then you know, the New York fit it, but I'll take the brand.

Karyn Elle 5:34

You got to take the brand man.

Styles 5:35

I'll take the brand.

Karyn Elle 5:37

I have a couple fittings though.

Styles 5:38

No, I know Because I saw them in pictures, Like we was doing the whole thing. I was like oh so she gonna show up with the fitted.

Karyn Elle 5:44

Yeah, because I don't go outside with a bonnet.

Styles 5:47

All right.

Segment break 5:49

Listen, you know, no, no, no, no.

Styles 5:52

Because everybody you know gets me giggly and shit, i'm not giggling tonight.

Karyn Elle 5:57

Okay, we're not giggling tonight. What?

Styles 5:59

you drinking ladies first, what you doing with some of that I'm drinking vodka and cramp pineapple. Okay, yeah, well, for everybody else, listen, i am drinking. What am I drinking? I am drinking vodka and orange juice, right. And then it came in this little stupid container, right? So when it container, basically it's supposed to be peach. There's nothing peach about it, nothing peach about it. I'm only trying to plug in my laptop. Anyway, nothing peach about it. They got me for like um $4 a bottle.

Karyn Elle 6:42

Does it take?

Styles 6:46

No, this shit gonna have me leaning for sure, but it doesn't. It's not peach and I have vodka in the crib. I could have just bought orange juice, right. So I'm like searching for something because I didn't want to make a mixed drink. Now I was like, oh, this is cool, let me just go grab this real quick for that.

Segment break 7:07

No, this right here though $4.

Styles 7:10

Do you understand that, with what I was, would have bought me a card in the orange juice and I would have had 7, 8, 9 of these?

Karyn Elle 7:15

mm-hmm, and I probably would have taste better.

Styles 7:19

Oh, definitely that. Why I mean I wouldn't be able to do a podcast, not tonight, not tonight. Tell the people a little bit about your podcast, though.

Karyn Elle 7:29

My name is Karen L. I am the voice of safe loud podcast. My podcast is basically Me saying whatever the hell I want, and that's it. We talk about everything from raising kids to things people are doing in the community, to sex and relationships, to Me just venting about men and women and how we are in just this life. I just, yeah, we just. It's basically We just having a good time because we not here for a long time, that's it.

Styles 8:00

You're not gonna talk about morning motivation.

Karyn Elle 8:03

I do okay, but that's not the podcast per se. Every morning.

Morning Motivation and Chats

Styles 8:07

It's part of it every morning.

Karyn Elle 8:09

I'm on Instagram on Monday through Fridays when we don't have school, when we have school, and I give morning motivation every morning to whoever's listening, because I feel like I Needed motivation. I was telling you this. I felt like I needed motivation, but it was hard for me to take motivation from people that weren't like me. That made it sound like Like I lived in a bubble and it wasn't real. So this is like real life, real talk, real K morning motivation in a way that makes people want to puff out their chest and put some pep in they step okay.

Styles 8:43

So I'm assuming an example of that is like yo, get the fuck out the bed, because that's how my motivation starts. You know what I'm saying? like yo, you need to pay your fucking rent, we need to get up. Give me, give me, like your best, 60 second morning motivation. Of motivation 60 seconds 60 seconds.

Karyn Elle 9:04

If there are snakes in your life and People who are robbing you of your energy, they are still thieves and you can't have thieves in your home. So you got to learn to see who those people are, understand who they are and what they are to you, and then take the steps you need to to get them out of your life. You got to understand who is sucking and draining the energy out of you so that you could be a better person, because you can't control them. You can only control what you do and how you feel. So you got I tell people all the time my It's 82 and sunny. Where I am, it's always 82 and sunny because I Take care of the temperature over here. I'm moderated, i make sure everything chillin. So if you want a life that's chilling and that peace and 82 and sunny, then you got a watch who's coming in and who's going out. That's your motivation for today.

Styles 9:55

Amen, I feel like I just stumbled into the kitchen After school, but I'm in high school. Yeah, because that's the type of shit that my mother would tell me. Yeah right in that tone, in that language, yeah, that type of shit. So I get it. When you was talking about yo, i'm not relating to Sonny Susan, no, talking about I need to do this and I need to do that.

Karyn Elle 10:18

No, i like sunny Susan, but sunny Susan don't work for somebody like me who comes from a different environment and see a different kind of Life and different like. I don't gravitate to what you're saying. I don't. I don't understand the words that are coming out your mouth. I need someone to tell it to me as real as possible, and so that's what I do. I get up there every morning and I give people some more than motivation so they can feel good about themselves, but in a way where it's like yo, i could, i could understand, i could resonate with that, i could, i think what she's saying people be listening to.

Karyn Elle 10:47

I Mean as they should yeah, no, cuz I used to think people don't want to be motivated. It should be like now nobody wants to hear motivation. For who and why, would you think? I don't know, cuz every rap song ain't about motivation. Every You know TV show ain't about motivation. So for a woman like me to be talking about motivation is like what she talking about, but the people really be listening and then some on, is they be like okay, i needed to hear that today And I just be like okay, well, you got it.

Styles 11:17

If you needed somebody to tell you, that's what I'm gonna do, Doing guys work, cuz I definitely have caught a couple of them, you know, and I wasn't, you know, disappointed. If you wasn't on the 730 in the morning I probably would catch more.

Karyn Elle 11:30

Yeah, 730s motivation time man.

Styles 11:34

Not for you.

Karyn Elle 11:36

The birds are chirping. Let's go Go.

Styles 11:46

Um, all right, so it's time to put you on a hot seat not the hot seat, so to speak, but you know What borrow you born in. That's not part of the question all Bronx.

Karyn Elle 11:59

I was born in Bronx Lebanon hospital on a great concourse.

Styles 12:03

Oh.

Karyn Elle 12:04

OK, ok Yeah, it's a detrain.

Styles 12:07

Ladies and gentlemen, the Bronx is the scariest borough out of all the boroughs. I mean Right, no, no, no, you guys, take that shit hands down You can have that.

Karyn Elle 12:19

You know you can have that. Nobody else wants that.

Styles 12:22

Right In the 80s and 90s it was Brooklyn. Y'all can have that, you know. Yeah, all right, so let's get to this shit. So first one text call or FaceTime What's your preference?

Karyn Elle 12:34

Definitely text. Why Don't call me? I don't like to talk on the phone. The only time I talk on the phone is if I'm in the car driving somewhere, because I got Bluetooth and I'm bored, But outside of that, like in the house and stuff like that. I don't be Jonesing on the phone. I'm not like that type of girl And FaceTime. you got to make an appointment. No, i'm serious.

Styles 12:57

When I put together all of these clips about the whole FaceTime thing, you got to make an appointment.

Karyn Elle 13:02

No, you got to make an appointment to FaceTime me because I'd be walking around the house sometimes looking like my son, little brother, y'all can't be FaceTimeing me off guard like that.

Sound Bite 13:12

Yeah, he bigger than me.

Segment break 13:13

So like you can't.

Karyn Elle 13:15

you know, i don't know when the phone ring what you going to see on the other end if I answer a FaceTime Like I don't know what you're going to get. So yeah, just make an appointment.

Styles 13:26

Copy that. All right, so I already know the answer to this Shoot, your shot of chilling the cut.

Karyn Elle 13:32

Um, i don't. How do you know the answer? and I don't.

Styles 13:35

Nah, nah, just answer the question.

Karyn Elle 13:39

Am I more of a shoot your shot type or a chill, i didn't ask you to break the question down.

Styles 13:43

Look at you, i'm just shot. You're trying to buy time. Listen, it's self-explanatory.

Karyn Elle 13:48

You already know what it is. Shoot your shot, shoot your shot.

Styles 13:51

Of course, see, I told you I already knew it, shoot your shot. Yeah, it's the borrow Um Black Movies, the gangster edition.

Karyn Elle 14:02

Okay.

Styles 14:02

Okay, yeah, i started to give you the girly shit, but then I was like nah.

Karyn Elle 14:06

It's caring how Nah.

Styles 14:08

I'm not going to suspect you like that.

Karyn Elle 14:10

Right.

Styles 14:10

Dead Presidents Peyton, Foll or Belly.

Karyn Elle 14:14

Um, it's definitely between Belly and Peyton Foll. Which one got Keisha?

Styles 14:21

Uh Belly.

Karyn Elle 14:22

Yeah, Then then just No.

Styles 14:25

No, no, no, no, no, it's Peyton Foll.

Karyn Elle 14:28

Okay, then it's Belly. No, it's like Keisha is not in Peyton Foll. Okay, then.

Styles 14:32

It's Belly for sure.

Karyn Elle 14:33

All right, then it's Belly.

Styles 14:37

I'm going to have to fucking research that tonight.

Karyn Elle 14:39

Thank you, Yeah, me too.

Styles 14:41

Hey go, hey go go. No, no, keisha is definitely in Belly. Okay, I believe you, she's for sure in Belly. I believe you, yeah, because that's who DMX was fucking. No, i don't know, no.

Karyn Elle 14:52

Keisha was.

Styles 14:53

Was was not in Belly.

Karyn Elle 14:54

No, no, no, no, no, no. White orange yeah, that's Belly, that's Belly, that's Belly.

Styles 14:57

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

Karyn Elle 14:59

For sure All right.

Styles 15:01

What's your song for the season of your life?

Karyn Elle 15:05

The season of your life, i would say, i don't know, it changes all the time. That, um, i don't know.

Styles 15:15

What's the song for? What did you pre-game before work today with?

Karyn Elle 15:20

I don't pre-game before work.

Styles 15:22

You listen to something.

Karyn Elle 15:23

I don't, but I've been really listening to Burnaboy a lot. I really like Burnaboy.

Styles 15:28

You know what? This is the thing. It's not that I don't listen to him, but I did catch a clip where he was talking about Africans and African-Americans and that shit didn't run me the right way, But that's a whole other conversation.

Karyn Elle 15:38

Yeah, i didn't see that, But I listened to that. But what's your song for this season of your life? This season of your life? I don't know, because it would have to be something that would have a lot of fuck yous and leave me alone, like because I'm just at this place in my life where, like, just fuck you and leave me alone, like I just want to be left alone. Let me do what I do.

Segment break 15:59

So unless somebody got a song like that? I don't really know.

Styles 16:03

That's crazy.

Segment break 16:05

That's crazy.

Styles 16:06

But it's true. Quick question Do you do brunch before I even waste my time on this question?

Karyn Elle 16:11

Yes, i was at brunch on Sunday.

Styles 16:13

Say less I love brunch.

Karyn Elle 16:14

What do you?

Styles 16:14

drink to start brunch off with.

Karyn Elle 16:17

Peach Bellini.

Styles 16:19

OK.

Sound Bite 16:20

All right.

Styles 16:20

I used to think that Peach Bellini was for dudes and the most is for women.

Karyn Elle 16:25

Not a thing, i'm a Hennessy drinker, but since I got an act lady like, i'm going to just drink this champagne.

Styles 16:30

It's the Bronx? Tell me it's the.

Karyn Elle 16:32

Bronx.

Styles 16:34

I like champagne, though.

Karyn Elle 16:38

I mean, i don't like the way it tastes, but I like the way I feel when I drink it.

Styles 16:42

Well, that holds true of all alcohol that I drink. I don't like the way it tastes, but you know for the after effects. I'm definitely a sugar drinker. What's more important Sleep or going out?

Karyn Elle 16:53

Sleep.

Styles 16:55

Amen to that.

Karyn Elle 16:56

Immediately sleep. Amen to that I have no problem being like y'all go ahead without me, no problem, right? What's the worry about?

Styles 17:07

I'm an excuse guy, i'm with you, i'm with you, i'm with a whole bunch of excuses And getting this, but nope, y'all could go ahead and go.

Karyn Elle 17:12

Matter of fact, I'm checking with you so I could cancel. Are we still going?

Styles 17:18

Yeah, for real, i don't know anything about peer pressure. until it comes to, i don't think we need to go out tonight. Why don't we just postpone it? But when we were making the plans, shit, i was the one making the reservations. Anyway, outside that, are you a listener or a talker?

Karyn Elle 17:34

Talker.

Styles 17:36

OK, if you could live in any sitcom, which would it be?

Karyn Elle 17:43

I would live in Rugrats. I would be Angelica and Susie Carmichael friend in Rugrats. But if you want to talk about one that's not a cartoon, probably Girlfriend.

Styles 17:57

No, I want to talk about whatever it is you want to talk about. Like, if that's your answer, we can stay with that.

Karyn Elle 18:04

Ok, i like Girlfriend. Do you remember, girlfriend? They used to come on with it, i do. Tracy. Oliver, i really like that, like if I could live in that, because I always like just aspire to be one of those women. You know what I mean.

Styles 18:14

Nah, you're too spunky, i couldn't see you in that.

Karyn Elle 18:17

Yeah, but I want to like grow up one day.

Styles 18:20

But I don't know.

Karyn Elle 18:22

OK, ok, one of these days. Yeah, i hear you.

Styles 18:26

Yeah, this is not the show to do it on. No, ok, what's in the trunk of your car right now?

Karyn Elle 18:35

Right now A soccer ball, a blanket, an umbrella, probably like a shoe, if I look really good A mitten, just one, yeah, that's it really. And a first aid kit.

Styles 18:52

Ok, and a first aid kit.

Karyn Elle 18:53

I just had the car detailed, so it looks really good and I clean most of it.

First Date Costs and Car Wash

Styles 18:58

Oh, here we go. So today I went and washed my car for the first time in like 10 months.

Karyn Elle 19:03

Why do you do the car like?

Styles 19:04

that Because is the thing I need to shock and str-. I've been going through some things with my car and I love my car, but I've been going through some things with my car and it was just like you know what. This is how we feel right now. This is just how we feel That's right.

Karyn Elle 19:16

This is a manifestation of what I'm feeling Exactly.

Styles 19:19

So I'm kind of like you know the drug dealer. I'm just going with 10 days in clothes just getting money. That's just where we are right now, like we got more important things to do than wash our ass. Ok, that's not true, but That's how you feel.

Styles 19:35

No, no, no, no, well for the car. So I pulled into the car wash today, right, and it was not a, it's a hand car wash, right, except for, like the way that it's situated. You would go in through the back, come out the front, right, but when you come out the front, it's like you literally just pull into the street and leave. So I'm like you know, I pull up and like, how much is it? It's at 10, 13, 16. I didn't ask him which gets me what? because where I live, right, it's about 18 bucks to wash my car, right, literally, for like everything.

Styles 20:08

They washed the fucking car or pre-washed it and went through the thing and that was it. I'm like, what did I just pay? What kind of soap did you just use right now? Like, did I get the premium soap? You know what I mean? Yeah, did I get the old bucket water? Like, what did I get for $16? You didn't put nothing on my tires, they didn't like nothing, they just let you go. Just 16 bucks, yeah, one and done It. Can't even get $10 from me next time, because that I just felt it was a $10 car wash.

Karyn Elle 20:38

Yeah $10 don't feel like a lot of money for a car wash, but okay, go ahead If it in the rain, you ain't got to charge that much Like I hate it, But that's yeah, you're right. But that's just well. I just got my car detailed. That costs a lot of money. It cost me $200 and changed $225. Yeah, the car teeth are like waxed and yeah, it looked good, though Looked brand new, So you know it was $200, but, I feel like I need to do that Yeah.

Karyn Elle 21:08

It was nice We fell in love again At some point in my life Yeah. I was like I like you better. now You know, that's one of those things.

Styles 21:16

Crazy, so I have two more questions.

Karyn Elle 21:18

Okay.

Styles 21:19

What's the child? what childish thing do you still do as an adult?

Karyn Elle 21:26

Everything, Every. I can't think of More petty whop. What childish thing do I do as an adult? I'm just childish all the time. So I'm trying to think what childish things don't I do? I like I run around like a little kid, like I play a lot like a little kid. So I'm childish all the time, like I'm a practical joker, like I'm doing all of that stuff. I'm watching cartoons on Disney plus. Like I act like a kid all the time. Adults are boring. No they think they know everything.

Styles 22:03

Oh, I thought it was the kids that thought they knew everything.

Karyn Elle 22:06

No, yeah, teenagers were like little kids are honest. They more honest than adults. You want to know the truth about yourself? Go hang out with a little kid because they will tell you straight face. You smell. I don't like you. Why is your teeth like that? Like they will go in? Yeah, you want to be humble? Go hang out with some little kids. They will humble real quick. Ain't nobody sparing your feelings?

Styles 22:28

No, that's a fact, savages.

Karyn Elle 22:30

Yeah, anyway, who raised you?

Styles 22:32

Bastards, yo for real. Okay, last question.

Karyn Elle 22:40

Okay.

Styles 22:42

What do you think the average cost of a first date should be?

Karyn Elle 22:46

We have time to get into this. I feel like it depends on it.

Styles 22:50

No, no, no no, give me the short version, because I know I've asked this question three or four times.

Karyn Elle 22:56

Yeah.

Styles 22:57

And I got about three or four novels.

Karyn Elle 22:59

Yeah, because I feel like it depends on the grade of your chick.

Styles 23:04

No, don't do that. I'm talking about from a personal perspective. Oh, then you're. Oh yeah.

Karyn Elle 23:08

So average cost of a first date with me like 400.

Styles 23:12

Hmm, okay, let's talk about it. It's like $400. Let's talk about it. What we doing for $400?.

Karyn Elle 23:21

Well, with anything that I want, first of all, we're gonna go eat right, because everybody hungry, so that's gonna run you through Best eatin' the bronze, yeah, and then I need some drinks with that. So that's gonna cost you like $150. $200, depending where we go and eat. And then, like I don't really like You're not taking me to the movies, so like you got a plan.

Styles 23:48

Nah, that's not a good first date.

Karyn Elle 23:50

Exactly. So what? We going to Topgolf, we going to JoJo, our Sojo Spa, we going to somewhere where, like Wait, time out, time out.

Styles 23:59

We not going to the spa on the first date? That ain't gonna happen. Why not? Why That ain't gonna happen? Why We don't do a spa on the first date. But that's fun, Yeah, but it's kind of like the movies though.

Karyn Elle 24:09

But I like activities. I don't want to be like yo. Let's just go hang out Like what are you Nah?

Styles 24:14

I'm not saying that. All I did was scratch that one thing off your list and she was like hold on, we're not gonna have fun.

Karyn Elle 24:20

Yeah, but like okay. So what would you suggest, cause I'm like, okay, no.

Styles 24:24

I'm just saying whatever you pile on that list, we just not doing, we not doing, Okay but any activity that you're going to do, it gonna cost you like $150.

Karyn Elle 24:33

That's a fact, So yeah, so you hang out for a couple hours. You spend like $400.

Styles 24:39

So you starting early or you starting late? I'm assuming we starting early.

Karyn Elle 24:43

Yeah.

Styles 24:44

Okay.

Karyn Elle 24:45

Yeah, but even if you start late, it's still gonna cost you Like it's not cheap to go out with somebody these days. That's why a lot of people don't want to go out with nobody. It's not cheap to date people these days cause, like people are not humble Like I will go out with you to Applebee's or to Chili's and get a 2 for 20. But that's after you done took me out the first time.

Styles 25:10

Oh yeah, I was about to say that's not a first date. Yeah, that's not a first date. We not doing that on first date.

Karyn Elle 25:14

You gotta go do a couple first dates with me, and then I'll be like alright, babe, let's go get something to eat You know what I mean.

Styles 25:20

I'm done with you. In a funny math You can't do a couple of first dates.

Karyn Elle 25:24

No, I need a couple of first dates. You gotta wow me. I need a couple of first dates. Then we could be like alright, let's go get something to eat real quick And you could drop your $60. You're not taking me on a first date to, like, you know, Applebee's.

Styles 25:39

I ain't gonna hold you. $400 is reasonable. Yeah, $400 is a lot of money, but like, the truth of the matter is like If you want, especially like this is the thing, and I'm talking about, you know our geographic location if you want to do it right, $400, you know you can do some things, yeah, with $400.

Karyn Elle 26:00

At the same time in New York, $400 ain't a lot of money because you go out and we gotta park the car. It'd be like $50, $60 just to put your car in a lot.

Styles 26:08

Yeah, nah I gotta go to Cheekhole for that.

Karyn Elle 26:11

You know what I'm saying?

Styles 26:12

I'll park way uptown in Harlem and I'll call a Uber and we out. I'm not doing that.

Karyn Elle 26:18

Yeah, so you want me to leave my bed somewhere in Harlem?

Styles 26:23

I'm picking you up, but we going to.

Karyn Elle 26:25

Yeah, So this time sit.

Styles 26:27

And only that. But if you park in Harlem it's well, depending on where it's actually less money in a lot.

Karyn Elle 26:33

Yeah, i mean, as opposed to trying to Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. Like it costs just just moving around, like that.

Styles 26:40

That's a fact. That is, that is a fact 400 bills $400. That's your new nickname $400.

Karyn Elle 26:48

Oh honey, oh honey.

Segment break 26:52

Oh honey, main course, it's time to eat. What's on your mind?

Styles 27:00

All right, we have arrived. Right, yeah, this is this is what we here for. All right, this is what we here for. How much you got left in that car? Let me see What you got. Oh, i might have to top that off a little bit. All right, all right, all right. So the name of the episode is how can I love you? Right, that's nice.

Styles 27:29

And I want to talk about it. So, dudes, when they're on a ropes and I don't know if it's a cultural thing when I say cultural thing, i mean amongst a certain demographic within the United States. I'm not speaking about anything outside of the United States is nothing like that When a man is on a ropes, right, and his stock is down, i mean not his stock is down, but he's on a rope His stock goes down as it relates to relationships, right, and when I say it could be an unfortunate event, right, whatever. But why is it that women will then turn around and look at this man like he's less than?

Karyn Elle 28:15

Why.

Sound Bite 28:16

Why.

Karyn Elle 28:17

Okay, ready.

Styles 28:19

I don't know. All right, let me break this down. Hold on Where my gloves at man, let me break this down.

Karyn Elle 28:24

You ain't going to fight with me because you're going to agree with everything I say.

Gender Roles and Relationship Expectations

Karyn Elle 28:27

Let me break this down for you. The reason is because we live in a society that has perpetuated the idea and ideals that men are supposed to be only providers, that they are only successful when they have, that they are non-emotional creatures, that they deserve less respect because there are things in society that they are supposed to do And because we have perpetuated this so much in our young women and our older women, we continue to look for that in men, and so when men are against the ropes, they lose their job. They don't have money, they fall ill. Whatever they are in positions where they are vulnerable, women tend to consider that as weak, and so it begins to make a relationship fail because there is a lack of respect. The respect isn't the man as a being. The respect is the man as what he has and what he is available to her.

Karyn Elle 29:26

Now, do I agree with that? Absolutely not. But is that the society and that the way women are programmed today to understand? Yes, that is the reason why men are, like you said, in a ring and up against a rope and barely have any room to kind of like duck and bob and weave, because they have been created in this structure and this hierarchy where it's like yo, the value of you is only valuable if right. A woman is valuable Oh, she's pretty, she got a nice wife, she got a big ass, she got a big titty. That is her value. But a man's value is like you need to be strong, you need to have money, you need to have a job, you need to be able to I don't know, because some women don't even say intellect But you know what I'm saying. For the minute, a man is in a situation where one of those things are vulnerable. A woman taking advantage of that And then she's like the relationship is not the same because she don't have the same respect. I don't think that.

Styles 30:21

I think that, as far as, like intellect is concerned, that falls way low on a list of things that they're looking for, it's true? I? said that, but most women don't say that.

Karyn Elle 30:30

Most women will say he has to have, and they're looking at the materialistic things that a man has to have. Does he have a good job? Does he make a good amount of money? Does he spoil me? Does he have his own place? Does he have a nice car? They're looking at all of the tangible things instead of having somebody in their life who is like riding for them and a good person.

Styles 30:52

Let me flip that. Let me flip that Right, because I agree wholeheartedly that your argument is my argument, right, but at the same time, though, i do think that they should find a provider. You understand, there's somebody that is, i guess, self-sufficient in a way. You get it Not in a way, but more than a way Right. I don't think that they should necessarily be counting his pockets, because the way I process it and look at it is this Whenever you come together as a partnership, you know we all live in the same reality, right, whereby the cost of housing is here.

Karyn Elle 31:30

Right.

Styles 31:31

The median income is here, right? So if that's the case, then us coming together, this is a partnership, right, because we're both entering this thing here. Right, you can't take care of me. I can't necessarily just stop doing what you're doing because I'm going to take care of you. Right, we have to do it together and then we have to build a plan and execute the plan to end up where I guess, where we ultimately want to be, right, but, guys, how do you mean?

Karyn Elle 31:57

about you. Well, i agree with everything you're saying. The problem with that, though, there's two things. The problem with that is one people are not entering partnerships. There's a lot of women who are not looking at men as a partner. They're looking at men as a crutch. They're looking at men as providers, to the point where they don't have to provide for themselves. Men ask men for something that you couldn't even give yourself. You are asking a man to buy you something or give you something that you are incapable of giving yourself, and I understand Well, people buy gifts that they can't afford, but I'm also understanding that anything that I ask of someone, i'm quite capable of right and you see how bizarre that shit is.

Styles 32:39

Because the thing is like if I can't get it for you and you can't get it for you, what a fuck are you mad at me? Like you mad at me because I can't buy you something that you can't even buy yourself.

Karyn Elle 32:53

But, and I'll tell, you something else? That's crazy about it. Women that have a good job, that have gone to school, have worked, have wear the suit with they sneakers on and do that every day, are gonna be more humble Because they earning it too, and they're gonna be more of a partner because they have more invested. But you find a woman that doesn't have anything invested, then she don't, you know, i mean she not gonna be humble because she don't have anything invested in this.

Styles 33:18

But then you also have the Independent types, right. So the independent types pretty much alike, when you know doing push-ups on niggas faces too, because they're like, listen, i'm getting myself. I don't need nothing from you, nor do I need you. I was a different guy.

Karyn Elle 33:34

Independent woman in the sense that like I gotta go to work every day and you know I'm saying if something's broke I gotta fix it. But I think sometimes we need to remember, as women that were women. We need to remember as women that were women, that were not men, that were not men. You don't, you don't have to while you are an independent woman is an independent woman an independent woman is not an independent man. You're still a woman. You still should be soft in some ways. You still should be nurturing in some ways.

Karyn Elle 34:07

Just because you make enough money to pay for everything doesn't mean that you have to put on the exterior That resembles much of a male you understand I'm saying you could be a successful woman and still be a wonderful girlfriend, a wonderful wife, and And be soft enough to allow yourself to be loved by somebody. Just because you make money, you don't mean you gotta be a bitch like, you don't gotta do that.

Styles 34:30

No, now I'm with you 100%. I'm with you 100% and again, like I said, because it cost to live in a cost of living is insane.

Karyn Elle 34:40

Yeah, I'm listening now.

Styles 34:42

Yeah, it's crazy.

Karyn Elle 34:45

Yeah.

Styles 34:46

So it's kind of like, i think, that the expectations for Couple I don't know. There are some frugal people out there.

Karyn Elle 34:54

I could be a frugal couple together.

Teaching Young Men About Reciprocation

Styles 34:56

You know. But yeah, and that's what I'm saying, There are some frugal, frugal people out there, but what we see again like you you had mentioned earlier on the forefront of everything And what's being perpetuated Basically is like this dude is supposed to take care, you and not everybody's a YouTube fucking star. First of all, i Want to be okay, let me speak from a man's perspective, mind specifically, i Want to be in a position where My wife doesn't have to work, right, you understand? because for me, if she doesn't have to work, you know what that does. That buys me more time to spend with her.

Styles 35:36

Right okay, so I'm pretty much like leveraging um, i guess, money for time right.

Styles 35:44

Right, i want to be in that position, but we're not in that position. Right, i would love to be there, but we're not in that position. And thankfully, we both came into it with the mindset of we are Part of. This is what we're gonna do. We're gonna put this together, boom, and Here's the benchmark. This is what we want to be, right, and everything in between that. This is how we're gonna get there, right, right, and we're so crazy. And I have a daughter and pretty much I Think this is where it goes left for me. Right, because my daughter I Want, i wanted to be self-sufficient, right, i don't want her to rely on a guy. You get what I'm saying? Yeah, like what? to the point where it's like, in any shape, form of fashion. So I'm raising exactly what I'm talking about With regards to like, i don't think we should do it like that. I'm like yeah, nah, we shouldn't do that after God.

Karyn Elle 36:43

I feel like you're willing to do that for your wife. Hmm most importantly, because she's not forcing you to do it for her. There's a difference between a man saying I want my wife to not have to work And I'm gonna do these things so she doesn't have to, versus a woman walking into our relationship and going I'm not doing this, i'm not doing this, i'm not doing this. You better take care of this. You better take care. There's a difference.

Karyn Elle 37:08

Right you know what I mean, and so it's almost humbling to know that. All right, well, but this is what I want for you And I'm gonna work towards this. But you're not forcing me to do it, you're not expecting this of me, you just would you want that for her. It's not the same thing. There's women walking around right now like I'm. They're going into the relationship day one. I'm not paying a rent, i'm not paying for the car. She better buy me this, you better give me that. And Then, when the relate, when he don't have those things, they no longer have a relationship. Because she's not with him. For his integrity and his intellect. She was with him because it's a transactional relationship. When we can't make no more transactions, she, like I'm out.

Styles 37:47

Let me ask you a question. Yeah, that's that's it. That's it all the way on the head, that's it into the ground. actually, it's secure. You're raising the Sun, yes. Yes okay, what advice. But what methods are you using? you know, to help guard against that mentality, right? So what are you telling him? Well, first of all, how old is.

Karyn Elle 38:12

My son is 13?.

Styles 38:14

Yeah, he's on the cusp of 13.

Karyn Elle 38:16

Yeah, he just sprouted up like two feet taller than me. He's well taken care of, he's very well taken care of And I'd be telling my son, i tell people at time I'm gonna impress my son, so he not impressed by your dusty head daughter. Hey man you know what I mean. I have, but there's also things. As a man, i can't teach him everything. He does have a dad and he talks his dad whenever they talk. They got cell phones and talk to each other and hang out.

Karyn Elle 38:44

But I tell us all the time you got a wallet, you post to carry your money in your wallet. You understand I'm saying he don't leave here without his wallet, he don't leave here without a little money and he knows that. You know what I mean.

Karyn Elle 38:54

I teach him as a young man like here's your money, manage your money. You got a girlfriend. Yes, you could buy her a gift, but you can't be buying her gifts till you go broke. If someone's not nice to you, then why are you with them? Why are you going out with a girl that's mean to you? Why are you like? that's not. I don't allow. I don't allow that. So I think you got a.

Styles 39:10

Teach me man to be young man. Yeah, you do, you do, and you have to really teach them about reciprocation. Yeah, right, because you don't want them to be to grow up to be doormats right. You understand, like, for instance, like I remember my son being um I Was, jj, was about that age 13, 14 years Yeah, they got their voice getting a little deep now, Yeah and we had.

Styles 39:34

We had spent Valentine's together, right, and as opposed to me going out doing my thing because my son doesn't know anybody. He hasn't known anybody outside of his mother and my now wife. That's it. Yeah, i bring emails around them, um, and we went to the Hibachi spot, right, just to show them, like, listen, when you go out on a date, these are the things that you do. I'll just down to third. For me it's been hard to navigate, like the other things, right, because I don't want to pass up, pass off my past traumas on to him. You understand, like you know, you should be doing X, y and Z because of blah, blah, blah. You can't process that right.

Karyn Elle 40:16

And some things he gonna have to learn. They gonna have to learn on their own because they just got to learn on their own. But you want to be as hands-on as possible and Telling them the truth. I'm the truth like there is. I tell my son the truth. There's women out here that are gonna use you for your money, their girls are gonna like you.

Relationships and Partnership Importance

Karyn Elle 40:35

They gonna see that. I know my son is cute. I know how you're opposed to picture him on Instagram. I don't get you're opposed Instagram. I get like 20 likes. I post my son up there like a hundred and thirty something.

Segment break 40:47

I was like yo.

Karyn Elle 40:49

Somebody was like no, my daughter was asking who is he? I was like yo, i know my and I know we take, i know, as parents mean his dad take really good care of him. So he's always he, oh, like my kid. Don't leave the house if he don't look like he's my child. But I was like people will see that and they will be like oh well, let me take advantage of this situation, let me take advantage of you, let me know I was like you gotta be, you gotta be careful, not just with women, but with anybody in general, and so you gotta teach your kids that and vice versa. I have two daughters and I tell them the same thing about men, like I want you to be Sufficient and they and that's why I pay for you to go to college so you could learn and get a good job But at the same time, i don't I caught. I don't want them to be with a partner either. That's taking advantage of them and there's a deadbeat. As a man like it's.

Styles 41:36

It's, it's a partnership and, unfortunately, right, the transactional part of the pump. A partnership is important. Yeah, it's important. You know you don't want it to to outweigh all the other stuff. You know The morals and stuff like that. You don't want to outweigh that, but it's a very into part of any relationship. But, ladies, this is what I want to tell you When you have a good do Right and he may be down, he's definitely not out because he's always gonna find a way to get it done. Don't make that man feel less than because he can't do something in a moment That he wants to do and it's hard parts wants to do, and that's even without you asking he wants to do it.

Styles 42:23

You get what I'm saying but, you kill his motivation and his pride by Treating him like he's less than. We get a lot of that and that's. You know. I even had an argument, not an argument, but it's a conversation about this very topic, you know, and I'm passionate about it because of the fact that the shit's not cool.

Karyn Elle 42:42

I feel you down on that, i feel like that goes back to what I was saying about the cultural part of us seeing women talk down to men. Like you see your grandma do it, you see your mom do it, you see it on TV, you see it here, you see there, and so it's almost like second nature for some women to do it the whole time, though like you're an abuser And you're not taking any responsibility for that. Like you constantly verbally abusing someone is still abuse, and just because it's a man, oh well he's soft, why he mad about that?

Karyn Elle 43:15

Like, sis, what is wrong with you? Go get help. Like this is not how a relationship is supposed to work. He not. But like you said, when it's flipped, if you speak to a woman like that, she can be like oh hell, no, i'm calling my girlfriend, i'm telling my mama everybody hates you. But every day you talking down to this person, like and this is what.

Styles 43:32

And even if but see the thing is, even if you're not talking down to him, you got to also remember, like, if you're doing shit, like, for instance, talking to your friends about the situation, this man is doing nothing, Nothing but good to you. You understand what I'm saying Nothing but good to you. But yet, and still, because you don't see it that way, because he's not, I guess, monetarily in a position to actually do what you need him to do with a snap of finger. Now, his name is Dirt on the other side of his door.

Karyn Elle 44:00

Right, which is crazy. Yeah.

Styles 44:03

You know which is crazy, and I wish that there were a way that we could actually flip, that You understand Flip it. Because when you look in the mirror, ladies before, when you start to berate your man whoever's berating your man?

Styles 44:15

I'm not saying that everybody does it because everybody doesn't. When you start to berate your man, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. Ok, for all of the things that you're asking him to do. Right, i want you to attempt to do what you're asking him to do And then you'll understand the work that goes into it. Because if it could be done, you know either he would do it or you would just do it. Right, You get what I'm saying. It's different if he's sitting at home playing fucking Nintendo and doing a whole bunch of other shit. Right, right, but he's not doing that. He's presiding a relationship. I'm talking about good men. That would just. I don't want to say we pause, that you guys are just tossing away because they're not making that quick millennial to fucking do money and shit like that.

Karyn Elle 45:04

Yeah. You know TikTok money, yeah, yeah yeah, it is not coming in quick Yeah. You know, Yeah, it's sad, though, because it just creates more and more cycles of it. If you're not conscious about what you're saying and what you're doing, and I kind of also feel like a different I also feel like women, like if you're with someone and this is how you really feel, then why are you there?

Styles 45:28

Because it's transactional. You know why Like, why are you?

Karyn Elle 45:31

there. If this is really how you feel, if this is really honestly how you feel about this person and every day you just beefing about it then why? my question to you is be like why are you there?

Styles 45:42

Because it was good when it was good.

Karyn Elle 45:44

OK, it's not good, no more. So now what you want to do.

Styles 45:46

Right, because remember what we said, that something happened along the way where he's not able to do X, y and Z in a specified time frame or whatever that she specified, or he's not able to actually get whatever it is that she wants when she wants it. So now, all of a sudden, this nigga is worthless. You would have said I'm saying like That's crazy, how it is crazy, because it's the thing On the other side of that right, the other side of that spectrum in this partnership, if it falls on a man to do and he wants to do it right, or the woman wants to do it and she tries to do it, she can't do it. You know what he does. He comes in and he either does it or develops a plan to get it done, but they do it together. But on the other side of that it's like if you can't do it, they get in. That's fucked up, right.

Karyn Elle 46:43

I'm going to find somebody else to do it.

Styles 46:46

Nah, not even that We even going to go that far yet. We're not even going that far yet, because that just makes you a bird. But anyway, i mean, you already grown with feathers, but you a full blown bird when you go do shit like that, you know. But yeah, it's just fucked up. And I know when I started writing it out I was like this shit is crazy.

Karyn Elle 47:10

But how do we change that? Because it's not enough to be like we know it, like, how do we change?

Styles 47:17

that, Because again raise your kids right.

Karyn Elle 47:19

Raise your kids right, But then I also feel like that at a certain age you got to grow up.

Segment break 47:26

You know, it's one thing when you act like this at 21 and 22 and 23 years old.

Karyn Elle 47:32

Ok, fine, y'all young, y'all don't know no better. But when we grown folks and y'all still doing that now, y'all just playing, y'all selves, y'all childish Like you, have to grow up and say, ok, this the relationship I'm going to be in And this is what I'm choosing, this is my partner. Ok, well, the partner need to be partnering And sometimes you're going to be up, they're going to be down. Sometimes you're going to be down, they're going to be up. You have to understand that. That's how partnership works.

Styles 47:55

But let me add this right, if everybody knew how to have a productive partnership, aka relationship, they would all have businesses that were booming right now. Yeah, because it's the same fucking principle, right, you get me, and I think that if they overlay the reality of going to work every day and having to deal with people they don't want to deal with and figuring out how to navigate that and actually get ahead, take that overlay that over your household. You'd be in business. Yeah, right, because there'd be a lot more understanding. You can understand what the fuck is going on now. Yeah, you know. Unless, again, this is not for the ain't shit niggas, because they all ain't shit niggas.

Styles 48:39

This is not for that. I am not speaking to that. I am not saying that every dude that you encounter that's shiftless is actually worth something.

Karyn Elle 48:51

Right.

Styles 48:52

I'm talking about the nigga that you saw something in that is still doing the same thing with the same type of energy. It's just that the cards are not stacked the way that he works with the stack?

Karyn Elle 49:04

Yeah, and shit happens.

Styles 49:06

Right.

Karyn Elle 49:07

Yeah, i feel like if you're going to commit to being with a partner, you got to understand that it's going to go up and it's going to go down. Are you going to ride with it or what you're going to do, because that's also going to shake out the people who are really going to be there and the people that are not. This is a lot about person.

Styles 49:25

That's a fact, or just come in with what you come in with and everybody just comes. You know what I mean. Everybody just comes together when shit is right.

Karyn Elle 49:34

But life don't always work like that. You know That's not reality. Life doesn't always. We could both come in, people could come in and everybody doing good, and look, we just had COVID. Businesses went out of business, people got sick, like anything could happen. Like you in this, or you're not.

Styles 49:53

See, that's the cut of where I'm from. honestly, like you know, there's this. there's true love is born from turmoil. unfortunately, you know, because you get to go through it all A lot of people get together and never get to experience the cheating. They never get to experience the illness, the deaths and all that other shit like that. They don't get to experience all of that stuff. So when they get together and it gets rocky, they get pissed.

Karyn Elle 50:22

It's like oh shit, yeah.

Styles 50:23

Yeah, But then the people that actually grew into that right.

Segment break 50:29

And lean into it.

Styles 50:31

Yeah, Because it's like I don't know. I feel like, again, you need the adversity in order to make it happen. You know, in order to keep it together. You know, And niggas just are the good dudes Don't know what they're getting into When they. You know, because once the shit dry up, then it's like the true colors come out. You know, And you just keep going to couch.

Karyn Elle 50:57

Yeah, if you have one, that's messed up. It's so messed up, though when you think about it, you know.

Styles 51:06

So do me a favor, give the people some advice real quick. I think. Let me see. Give the um, give the dudes some advice. We need some encouragement. So give the dudes some advice. Not the chicks, pardon, respectfully. Not the women I love you, ladies Not the women. Give the dudes out there right now fighting a good fight, sleeping on a couch and self-esteem is in the garbage.

Karyn Elle 51:32

Tell it to them.

Karyn Elle 51:33

I don't know if this is good advice or not good advice. I think that number one you got to communicate with your partner. Don't let them have to guess things. Communicate with them. Whatever is your thinking, whatever is your feeling. Right, you got to be able to communicate because if you don't say nothing, women tend to like go from zero to 100. So say something, right. I would say that.

Karyn Elle 51:55

I would also say like, when you're feeling down, you need to really be able to be around people that are going to lift you up. And if that's not coming from the partner that you're with, you're going to really have to have a communication, sit down, talk about that kind of relationship and the level of respect that was happening, and then partner, partner, you both need to partner, make a plan, strategize and partner together. And if all of those things with that person is too difficult, then you got to really look at this relationship and be like all right, is this the person that I need to be with? Because it's going to really show you a lot of things about a person and about the relationship that you have with them. And it might be good, like yo they're writing for me And it might be bad like yo.

Karyn Elle 52:35

I thought different and I expected different, And you need to be able to communicate that and pinpoint it and see it. But you know, i would suggest that men that are feeling beat down like you need not be in those around people that do that to you, because that's just that. That's why so many men of color end up with depression and anxiety and things that that we're not allowed to talk about in some spaces, right, because your mental well-being is not good and there's no place to go. Your safe space ain't even safe, so that's the amount for you women.

Karyn Elle 53:15

You got to create a safe space.

Styles 53:18

We ain't giving them no advice.

Karyn Elle 53:19

They know what they're doing. They have to create spaces.

Styles 53:22

But they're aware of what they're doing, so the thing is remember, of course remember. I think so. After you swipe that credit card, you know your balance is low. We not doing that.

Styles 53:33

They understand what it is. Um fellas, keep your heads up, keep fighting a good fight. You know, and I will tell you this, the most important thing is to understand your worth, because when you start to slow down you got to understand you're only killing yourself. Right, because the atrophy already started with the relationship, the strain is already there, right. But if you start to slow down and you can't help yourself, and if you can't help yourself you definitely can't help anybody. Understand yourself worth And with that we move on.

Segment break 54:08

Bay night, sexy nights and good food.

Styles 54:13

All right, karen L, please do not disappoint me. We have a whole conversation, a whole conversation before we started this thing.

Karyn Elle 54:21

Yes, Give an example of my best favorite bay night. Okay, so my best favorite, your best favorite.

Styles 54:30

Yeah, my best favorite.

Karyn Elle 54:31

That's what I say My best favorite. Okay, so my favorite bay night.

Styles 54:34

Oh Lord, let me see It, does it. Yes, That's crazy. Your best favorite.

Karyn Elle 54:40

My favorite bay night was not even a bay night, It was actually like I never went to sleep, So it was just like a lot of days. But it was one of those situations where it was like meet me at the airport And I went to the airport and I just had my little bag with me because I didn't plan on going too far for very long, Um and.

Styles 55:06

Hold on a second.

Karyn Elle 55:07

Yeah.

Styles 55:09

You had to spend the night back. I didn't.

Karyn Elle 55:13

I want to say it was my spend.

Styles 55:14

No, no, no, no, no. I want to say it was my spend. No, no, no, no, i want to say it was my spend No, no, no, that was a yes and no question.

Karyn Elle 55:19

Um no, it was not my spend a night back.

Styles 55:21

It was a spend a night back. It was not a spend a night back.

Karyn Elle 55:24

It actually was The spend a night back has things that you don't want to take to the airport because they're going to see when you put your bag through that thing.

Styles 55:32

Yeah, that just means you put it through. You know, does not carry yours.

Karyn Elle 55:37

You got to check your bag, um. so, um, yeah, i, we uh flew out to Vegas, um and got to Vegas at like I don't know what time it was in Vegas, maybe like seven o'clock, but it was nighttime when I left New York. um got to Vegas at like a on a Friday night, i think, and like um went to the hotel, beautiful room, um, changed our clothes, hit the club, stayed up all night, played in the casino. I got a um a lap dance tutorial from one of the girls dancing in one of the casinos and stuff like that, or some stripper, i don't really know. It was a long night.

Karyn Elle 56:20

Um girl strip episode of hangover, something like yeah, it was something like that, like stayed up all night, ate breakfast, like it was. It was just really cool, like just hung out, laugh, talk, walked up and down, um, and then I like left the next day.

Sound Bite 56:38

Yeah, it's fire, though It was amazing, it was I literally watched the sun come up in the desert, yeah.

Karyn Elle 56:45

So it was just like we didn't. We didn't go to sleep. I didn't sleep for like two days, bro, it's just. I like I just stayed up for like two days, but it was. it was just amazing And it wasn't. It wasn't like about for me what was so nice about it. It wasn't like cause, like some guys, they take you somewhere and they feel, they make you feel like okay, well, let's go to bed and we gotta be in the room, and they make it like a sexual thing, and this wasn't even like that.

Karyn Elle 57:06

Like it was literally just chilling, Like, literally, just like hanging out laughing, bugging out walking around cracking jokes.

Styles 57:17

Jumping to the yeah. And that's fine. How long did you know the guy, these important questions?

Karyn Elle 57:21

Um, maybe I we've known each other for a couple of years. All right, cool, yeah, yeah. So it wasn't like a complete stranger, you know.

Styles 57:30

Well, i mean I I hope it wasn't, but I'm just saying as far as like cause.

Karyn Elle 57:34

You said some guys, if you get flown out, of course, if you get flown out, they'll figure in as like a sexual thing, Yes, so, yeah, so, like usually when people invite me and stuff like that, i don't go Cause I don't want to be in that situation, like, and I literally have a guy ask me out and I'm like okay, and he's like, what do you want to do? And I'm like, i don't know, plan something. He's like, so what about Aruba? I swear to God, i had a guy, was like I just called my travel agent, we could go to Aruba this weekend, and I'm like I don't even like you like that. You know what I mean.

Karyn Elle 58:04

I don't even want to like I'm not after shit. What am I supposed to do?

Styles 58:08

Like you, know, i don't even want to know what your breast smells like, no, like. How's that going to?

Karyn Elle 58:13

Yes, So for some women that really really impressed by that, for me I just I'm like oh no, i am We not doing? that We just been doing it for a really long time And it was just a lot of fun, like it was nothing like that, like I literally chilling, laughing, bugging out drinking, just having a good time.

Styles 58:30

So yeah, curved at Aruba joint, that's okay, yeah.

Karyn Elle 58:34

I mean I want to go to Aruba.

Styles 58:35

I just don't want to go on.

Karyn Elle 58:37

That's not the first guy. I thought the guys be like yo. I just got off the phone with my travel agent. I'm like yo, bro. I said yes like 20 minutes ago, like you really need to bring it down, But then and then it's like I understand that $400. Let me impress you, I get it, but it's also kind of cringy because it's like now we got to share a room. I don't really know you like that.

Styles 58:56

Let's see the thing is. I think that all right, so they're just doing it wrong.

Karyn Elle 59:00

Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

Styles 59:01

They're doing it wrong, like we could do the whole Aruba thing.

Karyn Elle 59:04

Yeah, just not today. But you got to add a little. you got to add no, no, no we could do it today too.

Styles 59:09

Yeah, you just got to add a little respect to it. You know what I mean. You get your own room. These are the activities we going to do.

Segment break 59:14

I mean you know I'll be like that type of shit.

Karyn Elle 59:16

You got to build up to it.

Styles 59:17

Yeah, i mean it's not wrong with you know going. Well, actually there's a lot wrong with it, because Niggas is just grainy Yeah.

Karyn Elle 59:25

Oh yeah. And they be thinking like oh, I'll take you away, Like that's so impressive And I'm like, yeah, but you know, sir, I'm not really like. I don't want to be in that situation or that space with you. So nine times out of 10, I don't go Like if it's not somebody. I'm comfortable with. Like I feel safe where I'm not going.

Styles 59:45

So let me rate your story from one to 10. I bought a strong eight.

Karyn Elle 59:48

Yeah, it was cool, i like it.

Styles 59:50

Yeah, no, i'm just saying The only reason it doesn't get like the. We can get like the. You know it wasn't a story inside the story. Now, the funny thing about that is all my listeners will be like you're stashing the fuck up because of the fact that Niggas know I don't like the backstory. Anyway, don't give me the backstory, let's get to a good part.

Karyn Elle 1:00:07

Yeah.

Styles 1:00:08

I'm waiting under that. Just tell me, wake me up when it gets. Good, you know.

Karyn Elle 1:00:13

Yeah.

Styles 1:00:14

And I'm sure that that. So basically the other two points is just basically for them, for me, as a 10.

Karyn Elle 1:00:19

Yeah, i think it's okay to go out with someone and just have a good time with them, like I'm old school, like that, like why you can't just cause I'm like I don't understand some women. Like some women could just look at a man and be like, oh he's handsome, he's so sexy, i want to get with him. And then I would talk to that same man and he would open his mouth and I'd be like, but he dumbed in a month, like how?

Segment break 1:00:41

you attracted to that.

Karyn Elle 1:00:43

I'm not attracted to like. I'm a savior of sexual, so I'm not attracted to like stupid people, you know what I mean. Like I don't care how good looking you are If you open your mouth and you say some ignorant shit like I'm a hundred percent turned off. Turned off.

Styles 1:00:57

Exactly.

Karyn Elle 1:00:58

I'm attracted to ambition, so Why do people not?

Styles 1:01:03

I just need to be in a room full of motherfuckers like that.

Karyn Elle 1:01:06

I am attracted to ambition. I don't care how fine you are If I talk to you, and I'd be like yo. so what you doing right now and you giving me? well, i'm working for my cousin, but then I'm working for my auntie, but then I'm working for my uncle, but then I'm doing this, but then I parked the cars and you don't really got no goals in sight.

Styles 1:01:21

He said I parked the car?

Karyn Elle 1:01:23

No, cause it's had. It has happened. It has happened. Some guy parked my car for me and he was telling me about his cousin. That was a football player. And I'm like, sir, do you want me to date your cousin? Because, like this is not really helping you, this conversation right now. Talk about am I cousin, is this, and I'm going to do this and I'm going to manage him and I'm like, but you parking my car, sir, and I'm not saying this thing wrong with that No, no, no, we won't.

Styles 1:01:46

We won't shame the parking.

Karyn Elle 1:01:48

I'm not shame in the parking, Dude, i'm saying you pushing your plan, you pushing your cousin, more than you pushing what it is that you're doing in your own life. And I was like I'm attracted to ambition, like if I meet a man and he's fine but he's not doing anything with himself, i can't be attracted to you Like I'm a dry up, like the desert, like there's nothing.

Styles 1:02:10

That makes sense. I don't know. I don't know if other women are like that.

Karyn Elle 1:02:12

I don't know if it's just me.

Styles 1:02:14

I think that there are. There are a lot.

Karyn Elle 1:02:16

Really, i never had that conversation.

Segment break 1:02:18

Not very many about like being attracted to ambition. Like if you don't have no ambition.

Styles 1:02:25

I put. I put it to you like this on my side of things, you pretty much have, like, i guess, laid out everything that I would be, i would have been looking for, yeah Right, and what I guess I found, because I'm not. If it's the same thing, you could be sexy as fuck the moment you open your mouth and you say something crazy.

Karyn Elle 1:02:46

The moment you pronounce the s, the Ellen Simon.

Pronunciation, Podcasting, and Community Giving

Styles 1:02:50

So far I'm a curvy. Oh, don't do that Let me ask you a question. How do you, how do you pronounce Illinois though?

Karyn Elle 1:02:57

Illinois.

Styles 1:02:59

Yeah, illinois, but you know that the s is silent though, right, and I found that out because I actually did.

Karyn Elle 1:03:06

Illinois.

Styles 1:03:07

I actually did. My entire life I've been saying Illinois, who the ass? I saw them use.

Karyn Elle 1:03:14

I'm from the Bronx, i saw them use that word.

Styles 1:03:16

What they got there, we don't even say Illinois, we just say Chicago, right, yeah, fuck it The city. We'll talk about the city.

Karyn Elle 1:03:24

Chicago. I don't know where Illinois is.

Styles 1:03:26

Chicago, yeah, so we don't got to use that word too much where I'm from. But I did. It was down, So that was down. I have to say I think that's it Now how do you pronounce that word?

Karyn Elle 1:03:38

I don't know. I think that's it. It's Jan-yo, because that shit made me feel incredibly dumb Yeah.

Styles 1:03:45

I was like ooh, is that what we doing? Different states got their own slang too. You do know that. just like New Yorkers, you understand that in, it doesn't matter.

Karyn Elle 1:03:53

I understand that you trying to help us. Like you pulled up with the life raft and you like, come on Stiles. This is right out of here. So what do?

Styles 1:04:01

you do. I say salmon all the time.

Karyn Elle 1:04:04

Yeah, No there's a whole, no, there's a lot of people that say that, and every time you know cause? I teach English too, so every time I hear it, i'm like yo, i want to fight you, bro, come on now, cause I'll say it right and you'll still say it wrong, you're not trying, you're not trying.

Styles 1:04:21

So listen, this is the brunch out, where we are four minutes over an hour.

Segment break 1:04:25

Woo Dessert. I hope you guys enjoyed your meal. Can I get you something off of our dessert menu?

Styles 1:04:35

Mm-hmm. So. So this is the part of the show where we say goodbye with Grace.

Karyn Elle 1:04:42

I love Grace.

Styles 1:04:44

Yeah, so tell the people where they can find you.

Karyn Elle 1:04:48

Karenelle. I'm streaming Save Love podcast on all major platforms, So I heart Spotify, apple, odyssey, audible, pandora, pretty much anywhere you get your podcast. Save Love podcast is there. You can catch me on my website, wwws-a-y-i-t-h. Say it loud l-o-u-d. Dot com for everything, karenelle, and everything that we're doing. And then social media I am Karenelle Twitter, instagram, facebook. All that good stuff.

Styles 1:05:20

Okay, tell them what you're doing. Why do you keep leaving out morning motivation? Why do you keep leaving out the fact that you wake motherfuckers up in the morning?

Karyn Elle 1:05:28

Morning motivation every morning at 7.30 am on my Instagram. On my IG I am Karenelle, and then there's like a whole bunch of other stuff. There's like merch and services I do. I coach other people and start in podcasts and I do voiceover work and all kinds of wonderful things. I'm working on a Roku channel right now so that we could put some Jammuidys together. That's like comedy and drama and you mush together It's Jammuidys because it's like me And yeah, and then like yeah. So that's what I'm working on this year And then, hopefully by the end of the year, my goal is to put together a sneaker ball where a say-flaw podcast and Karenelle could raise money for sickle cell and breast cancer, because they are. I want to get back to the community. It's time we're in a place where we could do that, and so I want to start raising money so that we can support other people in the communities that look like me.

Karyn Elle 1:06:25

You know the stuff that they're going through And then yeah, hopefully I'll be on the radio soon and y'all could all listen to me there. So I'm working on a couple of things in the next couple of months. You know, We good, we good.

Styles 1:06:39

Well, listen, I told you only have like friends and family up in his mother's house. Yeah, for sure Cover on Jay how is he? it's not awkward I definitely appreciate you you know answering the call when I did you know. Anytime, you know, karenelle is an amazing person. It's the drink I told you. I'm mine, i'm mine. No, i never did tell you. It's like 15% alcohol and it's a little motherfucker right there. Oh yeah, an amazing person, an amazing podcaster, an amazing business woman just amazing. How about that?

Segment break 1:07:21

Thank you, I appreciate that.

Shout Outs and Sign Offs

Styles 1:07:23

That's what it is. Shout out to my beautiful wife, shout out to Bless Jasmine Cohoes. Shout out to Barbie from Let Me Touch You podcast, right Cornerstone, to a lot of things that I've done in the past, and with that we will catch you on the flip side. It's that time again and since we really don't know how to say goodbye, i'm not gonna say goodbye, but listen what I will ask. Pause, i'm not even asking. If you liked it. Please don't forget to like, comment, subscribe and shit, and that's homework. Also, there is no. Also, we'll catch you next week. We'll save a seat at the table for you. I, i, i.

Sound Bite 1:08:06

I'm staying alive. I'm staying alive, i'm staying alive, i'm staying alive, i'm staying alive, staying alive.