Natice’s Take on Redefining Modern Relationships

In this week's episode of the Brunch Hour podcast, we are excited to premiere our little sister Natice's upcoming podcast called "Talk Nice Tice," featuring Styles as a guest. If you're tired of navigating the complex world of gender roles and expectations in relationships, this podcast is for you. Natice and Styles take a deep dive into these dynamics, unraveling them one thread at a time. 

Styles shares his own experiences, shedding light on the pressures faced by both genders. From discussing his personal checklist of desired traits in a partner to his own journey in understanding love, Styles provides refreshing insights that challenge the status quo. 

In this episode, we don't shy away from the tough questions. Why are women judged when they fail to meet certain expectations? How do men interpret independence and masculinity? With Styles' candid reflections and exceptional understanding of the subject matter, we dissect these issues, emphasizing the importance of communication and setting boundaries. 

Together, we aim to redefine age-old notions and advocate for healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Tune in to "Talk Nice Tice" and let's challenge these stereotypes one conversation at a time.

Transcript

Natice 0:05

You reach the tease the host from Talk Nice Tease. Unfortunately I can't take your call right now, but please sit back and relax and enjoy this episode. If y'all could understand how much my producer bullies me when it comes to anything I do regarding this show, y'all would never believe it. But you know what props to him, because every time I do a show I get very nervous and I do slip up and I do mess up often. But today I'm going to keep it similar and the same with myself. I'm going to keep it very relaxed To my topic.

Natice 0:42

Today we're going into multiple parts of how a niggazine shit and how they have an obsessive idea of a woman that they think that we should be. But that one's sinking. My thing when it comes to that is I do love when a man does come to me as a woman and tells me how a woman should be. Multiple things that go wrong with that. For me personally, they were not born. You know XX chromosome. They don't really understand certain things that just go on, but they have this very, very set, definitive bullet points that they require in a woman. They have to do this, they have to do that X, y and Z, a, b and Z, but but when we have the same things as women, sometimes we get stereotypical words gold digger, etc. Etc. But in our favor and in our benefit I'll say that's what God gave us, our gifts for, honestly, not going to lie, we're just, you know, flaunting what we have. But when we are not fitting the ideal bullet points that our men were, you know, talking to, I will say, things get very different. Their attitude tends to kind of switch up. But examples being, let's give a personal example, let's do that.

Natice 1:59

Someone has told me that I am too masculine to be in a relationship. Now, yes and no, yes and no. And the reason why I say that? Because at one point in my life, as we call now the soft girl era, I gave soft girl era. I gave lollipops and la-la-lans my entire life. But you have to get older at some point and tragedy struck in my life. We'll get into that on another topic. But I did change at one point. And now what people perceive me as an adult? Because you know the person I'm speaking to about now we've only known each other as adults At one point. They know me as the soft little la-la girl, and then the next six years of their life until this day they've known me as this hard masculine person, how I can't be soft, how it's going to be hard for me to find a man.

Natice 2:50

My thing is how my mother raised me. I love her down. Yes, I've had my past trauma so I have a little bit a different outlook on how I will get into and actually take how serious my next relationship would be. But I feel like the man has to make me feel like I need to be there. Like certain things that I guess are big deals now in relationships I just require mandatory, like certain little respects go a long way. There's a long list of them.

Natice 3:24

Ie my biggest thing people have an issue with nowadays generational and millennial Z Liking photos. That's a big thing for people. Me as an adult woman, I don't see an issue with that. But now, as a grown woman, if I like some other man's photos, am I talking to them? I like their stuff or something. It's just perceived a little differently and that will get you cut off Like that will get you not into a relationship down the line, depending on the dude.

Natice 3:53

My argument always is to people that say or the person that says that I'm a little bit masculine is when the right one is there, I'll soften up and that shut him the fuck up, because I guess he thought in his mind that he was up next in line or something. But if you still got me in this hard position and hard place all the time, why do you think that you're going to be able to break that with your bullet points that you're requiring? As a woman, I don't think that's typically fair. But let's get a perspective of a male. Let's see if that kind of counteracts what I'm saying. We do have styles with us. Introduce yourself on my lovely show please.

Styles 4:36

Introducing myself. This is not my show.

Natice 4:39

Well, this is styles, and my producer as well. Absolutely fabulous man. He does it all and does it all twice. The floor is yours.

Styles 4:47

My question yes, what's your question?

Natice 4:51

Do you or did you have a specific set of personality traits, characteristics for the woman that you have today?

Styles 5:03

I think that there's always a checklist First. Secondly, can I discuss? Actually, I don't even want to discuss, I just want a slapbox over the topic, like the subject.

Natice 5:15

Right why I got to be ancient niggas though. You know, because people can relate to that and some people will instantly gravitate toward that Because they're like oh yeah, I 100% agree. That was just more of a social Net to gather to catch some people's eye or ear. Technically, click bait, click bait. But technically it'll be air bait if you're here first.

Styles 5:36

Well, this is my thing. I think we need to stop doing that, because every time I hear it I'm like no, niggas, not that niggas, ain't shit. You just don't know how to pick niggas, and that's just what it is like. Your choice and you're going to the supermarket getting rotten tomatoes every time and you want to complain about the like. They're perfectly good tomatoes in that bin, but you keep picking up these rotten fucking tomatoes, bringing them shit to him, and then you get mad. It's not the supermarket, my, is you. Is you back to your question? Because my ADHD just kicked in my fault. What happened?

Natice 6:09

I just Because the issue is, my ADHD kicks in too, but I feel like that was the.

Styles 6:15

That was a proper answer to one of my question Cool and as far as like my chest list, is my checklist Long and distinguished. So yeah, I want what I want. I got what I want.

Natice 6:30

Do you think that In the process of looking for your wife that you had to let go of your past traumas to actually find Actual you settled down like actual true love for you?

Styles 6:41

What's so ill is that, like I learned, I couldn't learn. Well, I couldn't learn how to love Growing up in my household. It didn't exist like that. The way that it is, it exists for me right now. So, right now it's a little bit differently how I teach my you know son, my daughter, my other son, how to do it up it. As far as like love is concerned, I learned that in my adult years, which is kind of crazy, which is why I, you know, women are probably like niggas ain't shit.

Styles 7:10

You know we, we're all dealing with trauma, um, which is probably why therapy such a big thing right now, and I'm like anti therapy for me personally, not for everybody else, but for me. I can't pay somebody to listen to me and then give me information about what they heard, because it's not coming from a personal perspective, like you don't know me, no, no, no, which is fine, and I'm, and I'm with that a hundred percent, like I'll quick Come to you and talk to you about my problems and I go you're gonna fuck your degree.

Styles 7:44

You know me, I get it. Yeah, you are definitely the guard rails to life, but um, come on, bit down to 80 days kicking again, just so everybody knows. If you do here cause rolling by, we are definitely doing this hood style.

Natice 8:07

It's just urban.

Styles 8:09

No, you know what, and I like the, the I'm you know, right, exactly the ambiance and everything is really young on point. Anyway, yeah, I'm sorry, that's all right. We're gonna trip each other up. I don't know why you want me to be a part of this, because it helps me you be, it was gonna help me stay on track. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're talking about ancient niggas. That'll bring you back, that's true, oh, boom, perfect Actually.

Natice 8:36

But I personally even though I say that in that mm-hmm, I am not always anti-niggas, though I definitely understand and see physically that niggas don't know how to love. But because they didn't have that growing up, they're not, they're not, they're not knowledgeable how to do it. But with that, I do say at some point, if you do want to have a healthy and actual relationship, have it working, you have to one see that there might be a difference in love language and love communication. I think those are two very different things.

Styles 9:07

Mm-hmm.

Natice 9:08

That has to be Looked into and then actually applied. I think people look into a lot of things but never really apply. So it's just like you're doing half the work right, and it's not even half the work, it's like maybe one fourth of it, because you can talk all day, but if you don't apply anything, you're not. Nothing's gonna change. That's a fact. I don't believe they were ever. Some people, excuse me, weren't grown up on love like me. Fortunately, I was grown up on love, so there's certain requirements I have now that I'm looking forward to in my male partner that if that doesn't sit right with me, certain things, just how you look at life because of the way you were raised. I'm not saying I'm gonna X you out completely, but I know in my mind you are not going to have the emotional capacity to handle me or be able to understand why I'm so damn emotional.

Styles 9:53

Look at you putting words together, forming sentences that are cohesive and all of that.

Relationship Expectations and Gender Roles

Styles 9:58

That's what I'm talking about. Can I ask you a question? Because you did talk about some things when I was actually muted and I couldn't talk because people Even know I was sitting here. But oh, why are you single? No, no, no, scratch that. We're not even gonna do that. Fellas, fellas. I'm fighting back for us right now. But you did say that the person that you are talking to, things that you're masculine, is it. Does he say that because you're independent? Because a lot of dudes that A lot of dudes are actually look at independence as being masculine. You know, they want you to want or pardon, they want you to need them but, me personally, I don't.

Styles 10:42

I rather Independent woman, girl. Exactly shit, if I fall, I don't want to hit the ground, necessarily, I want to be caught right. Hey, finish like. Is that the case?

Natice 10:53

I Think that's one thing of it. He's not too open about his genuine. Hear me out. This is all me speculating, because I am an over thinker. I be thinking about psych over time. I just overthink every little thing, every little thing and it's the most healthiest thing you can ever do in your life analysis paralysis guy I'm listening.

Natice 11:14

Um, I really don't know where his head at when it comes to me, right? But I know he talks a lot about specific things that he wants in a relationship. I, I yes and no, so maybe the fact that I literally do everything on my own might rub him the wrong way, but then, even when I let me ask you a question, yeah stop, stop, right there cuz you gonna get real long-winded with it.

Styles 11:36

Don't want to when he said no, not, you're not. I'd appreciate if you stop grabbing your crotch when you talk to me, cuz it's kind of masculine. What was your response when he was like at the moment? The moment he was like yo, you ask it? First of all, I would never tell, and respectfully never tell, a woman that I'm courting, that you're too masculine for me, because I don't want. I don't want masculine at all, I want soft and supple. So the moment that you exhibit calluses on your hands because you know I work out Jesus.

Styles 12:11

Nah, you out here building houses with your bare hands, I'm doing the man's job.

Natice 12:15

I'm going to war.

Styles 12:16

Yeah, I'm going to war and building houses, yeah like, and that's not to say I don't want you know again. Independence it's key for me Because I can't build with somebody that's not independent. I get that because then I'm the think pad. I don't want to be the thing that.

Natice 12:34

You're not wrong, though, but I've just never heard that.

Styles 12:37

Yeah, no, we're not doing that, but what was your response? Let's not get away from that. Um, um.

Natice 12:44

What is my response?

Styles 12:45

because whenever what is? I want to know what happened in that moment.

Natice 12:49

Honestly, it was probably one of those bitch up the fuck up tape shit, but is that what you told us? Oh shit, you see but this is why I get called masculine and I understand. But then there's just certain things that are put in place. I'm from New York, so we have a different lifestyle growing up in New York.

Styles 13:08

Well see, the thing is yes, but we also have tech. Don't do that. Fuck off here, don't do that, because the moment you grab your nuts, I'm out.

Natice 13:15

You see, all right, hear me out. I'm not doing any of that. I'm not portraying.

Styles 13:20

You just said bitch, shut the fuck up, like that was a. That's not a thing.

Natice 13:26

That makes you masculine.

Styles 13:28

It doesn't make you masculine, but it does make you.

Natice 13:30

It makes me a little strong, it makes you coarse.

Styles 13:32

Like yeah.

Natice 13:34

But don't say no shit like that. For me to say that.

Styles 13:36

I get it. It doesn't make you masculine, though I don't want to. I don't want to put that in there. Part two though it doesn't go, part two maybe my.

Natice 13:44

Gemini sign Shout out my Gemini, best sign ever. Their sign is just naturally masculine, though, so when I did some research on that Is it masculine.

Styles 13:56

Yes.

Natice 13:56

No, no, no. So it's like basically there's yin and yang to your signs. My sign is masculine sign, not meaning like all Gemini's are male masculine. No, no, no, it's just there. It's just perceived a little bit different on their day to day actions, life course of anything. I got that from the app. That was good.

Styles 14:16

And you did well, because our retention as far as like shit, like that- I'm trying to be family.

Natice 14:22

My thing is, what makes a woman feminine is her being taken For me in my eyes, how I see it, how I was raised up for my family, a woman being taken care of emotionally and financially. Yeah, you don't have to be the most. You don't have to be my therapist. I don't require that, no. But you have to understand sometimes that I'm going to just cry and be upset about some dumb little shit Not even little shit just because I'm super empathetic about things.

Natice 14:50

And it's going to affect me a little harder than most people. Don't get an attitude that I'm still sad about some three days ago.

Styles 14:55

I got you, coming from a real place, the potential in this potential connection that you have with this person. Don't whisper to me, god damn it.

Natice 15:07

I'm whispering into the mic this is for all of them.

Natice 15:15

What they. Let us say wherever this goes. But I don't like to live my life like that. I like to plan everything. I really don't know. I really don't know, because the requirements be thrown me off. But then what he'd be saying he'd be like you want to do something but you want a soft girl, but love you down boo. Example being he'd be like I really want a strong ass bitch, like a ride or die bitch, crazy lifestyle. I need to be told down. When you think of a solid bitch she's been through shit like that's a real tough bitch You're not thinking no, cookie cutter ass bitch.

Styles 15:46

Fuck this. Listen, ride or die chicks. Is that's a myth? But it's not. No, I'm talking about Because when you say it, it depends. Yeah, exactly, it depends on what setting you say it in. Like if I'm in the hood they're like go ride or die. Like you want to hold my drugs and my guns.

Natice 16:00

Yeah, like nah, you want to take this book.

Styles 16:03

Nah, I was not raised like that, you know. And ride or die, again, like I said, it's a myth because everything is within reason. You know, I'm not even when it comes down to finances. I'm not going to sit back and ride with you on something that I totally disagree with. I don't give a fuck how much your heart is into it. So yeah, ride or die is a myth, everything within reason. That ride or die sounds good on wax.

Natice 16:28

Everything, whatever Love it is, for that we can make a new one.

Styles 16:32

Yeah, that's a fact though.

Natice 16:33

OK, I mean the idea of it is nice, I guess, and for a woman's perspective, like, yeah, I wouldn't ride or die, but you're dead ass. Right, if you are giving me your gun to put in the fucking purse, first of all, you don't give a fuck about me. Why would you put me in a situation like that? Come on, be serious.

Styles 16:51

Be fucking for real. I feel like you just sent the text in all cats, just bring the sit down to level it too, because you literally I did as yo, my heart went up too. Yeah, all right Cool.

Natice 17:04

I'm sorry, but like you know what it is, what it is, we still love niggas out here though. Niggas still love bitches. One day I'll find the man in my dream. That's really going to make me, you know, a softie, but it's probably someone. I'm never going to know them first. I'm going to meet them off the random. Congratulations to you, though. It must be nice to be married.

Styles 17:27

Al. I'm going to say like yeah, because I'm not going to perpetuate the other shit that's going on out there. Where you listen to a song, niggas is like, yeah, love her, her, her and them Not the pronoun, them the actual them All of those, not the pronoun those. It's cute, yes exactly the bunch of I don't fucking know, chell the alphabet police. Please don't come after me, and yo I'm not going to do this on that show.

Natice 17:54

All right, thank you so much for coming on.

Styles 17:57

Respectfully. I have nothing against it, absolutely not. But thank you so much, you're welcome.

Natice 18:02

It was a great time.

Styles 18:03

It was All right.

Natice 18:04

Thank you guys. So much for listening to us rants about nonsense and real shit at the same time, so next time have a good night. I'm sorry I missed you, but I'm glad you listened to the last episode. To keep in touch, dm me at Tough Nice Tease and you can also catch me when you catch your favorite podcast. And don't forget to like, follow and subscribe.