A Wiser Retirement®

313. How Can You Help Your Parents Plan Financially for The Future?

• Wiser Wealth Management • Episode 313

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In this episode of A Wiser Retirement® Podcast, we are tackling the tough, but essential topic of helping your parents plan financially for the years ahead. As more Americans find themselves supporting both their children and their parents, it’s never been more important to plan ahead, start the right conversations, and protect your family’s financial future.

Related Podcast Episodes: 

Ep 189: Taking Control of Finances for Your Aging Parents

Ep 283: How to Manage a Sudden Money Windfall: IPOs, Business Sale, or Inheritance

Related Financial Education Videos:

Prevent Family Conflict with Legacy Planning

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This podcast was produced by Wiser Wealth Management. Thanks for listening!

SPEAKER_03:

A nerdwallet survey found in 2024 that 14% of Americans are assisting their parents financially. 41% plan on doing so. The same survey said 80% haven't even talked to their family about their estate planning yet. Their parents, that is. Have you had these conversations with your family? Probably not. Uh, how do you even start that conversation? How do you calculate this into your own planning? Stay tuned to find out. Welcome to Wiser Retirement Podcast. Are you curious about how to help your parents plan financially for the future? I'm Casey Smith. Today I'm joined with Shauna Theriault. Each week we bring you practical advice on retirement, investing, and planning for your financial future. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast wherever you're listening. Let's get started. Hello, Shauna.

SPEAKER_05:

Hello. I feel like it's been a really long time since we did a podcast today.

SPEAKER_03:

They don't let us get too close to each other.

SPEAKER_05:

I feel like you're avoiding me.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, I was gonna say the same thing, but you beat me to it. Dang it.

SPEAKER_05:

Taking your thunder.

SPEAKER_03:

No, no. We do work on opposite ends of the building because the the um the smartness and and experience that you would uh zoo to just by walking into the room is so great that they they can't the the the universe would explode.

SPEAKER_05:

Really, really if they had us in the same process. Are you talking about me or you?

SPEAKER_03:

You okay a little bit about me, I guess. Um yeah, so you know, we I guess well we both see here's the problem, folks. We both love the talk. So if I'm not here, the next person best person to do a podcast is gonna be you, right?

SPEAKER_05:

Thank you. I know it's hard sometimes. I have to sit here and go, let him talk. Let him talk.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh yes, you can have two dominant personalities running a great firm.

SPEAKER_05:

They said we would fight.

SPEAKER_03:

I know.

SPEAKER_05:

I don't think we have.

SPEAKER_03:

No, we haven't. It's been a while.

SPEAKER_05:

I know.

SPEAKER_03:

I think that pool has been divvied out. I think people I didn't win any money, did you?

SPEAKER_05:

I didn't win anything. Somebody profited off of us.

SPEAKER_03:

Someone lost, someone won. I don't know who it was. Uh I don't know how much it was. But uh, but no, Sean and I, Sean and I work great together.

SPEAKER_05:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh all right. Well, let's let's team up our our minds here and talk about something that uh I think people are missing in their planning, quite honestly. And that is um parents. And this podcast is posting here in Nov early November, and you're about to approach the wonderful or not so wonderful holiday season. And this might be time to plant some seeds.

SPEAKER_05:

Or at least get the conversation started or find a way to start it just by listening or being observant or you know.

SPEAKER_03:

Or walking in and just taking over the file cabinet, or no, probably not that.

SPEAKER_05:

Probably not that. That would be weird, especially in the middle of like Thanksgiving, right?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, but that's when you do it, they're distracted by turkey.

SPEAKER_05:

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh yeah, so let's let's talk about this. Um I mean, demographics uh are changing for older people. You threw out some great research you found a few minutes ago.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, why is it that our parents' generation don't seem as prepared as we thought they would be?

SPEAKER_05:

So it was interesting. I was looking at that because we we talk about that squeeze generation, how it's helping, you know, the older parents and then the and then the growing aging kids. And so it it it was really good information that that's when kind of in their generation when pensions stopped and you had to start funding your own retirement, contributing to 401ks. Um, the the expansion of healthcare costs increased 200% over wages increasing, um, inflation being higher. So, you know, they weren't saving the same because they thought they had pensions and then they didn't. Um, you know, Social Security was meant to be as, you know, a sub a substitute, not to be a sole income, and 40% of them are living off just social security alone.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

So if you if you take into consideration the pensions going away, uh, you know, the increase of inflation, healthcare costs rising so much, they're just they're not prepared for this financial.

SPEAKER_03:

A lot of it was no real financial planning had been done.

SPEAKER_05:

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_03:

You know, we have um um half of Americans don't even have written financial plans. Uh we see you had a a stat here you sent me ahead of time. 60% of parents um uh provide financial support to adult children. So we have this for those of us in the middle, we're supporting adult children. I'm not. My kids aren't adults yet. Well, I guess technically, legally, but not not out of college yet. Um, but we have adult adult children potentially being taken care of by people in their 50s, but then we have mom and dad that might need financial help as well. And it's a question we ask in every single plan. And most people go, oh no, I don't know. I'm really not sure.

SPEAKER_05:

Because it's a hard conversation to have with them.

SPEAKER_03:

It is.

SPEAKER_05:

Some know, do they just know because they can see their habits and what you know they do or do not spend, but most of them don't know if they have a even an estate plan or not.

SPEAKER_03:

I mean, and just from like a legacy planning standpoint, you you think about you, you're a lot of times your spending habits are results of your how your parents spent money. So there are young, really big savers very often head parents are just horrible with money.

SPEAKER_05:

Completely. I see that so and we we hear that all the time where they come in and are like, I want to do different than my parents did. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03:

So then there's the flip side where the parents do really, really well, and then the next generation, um not not as tight, I guess I would say. Yeah, because but maybe they didn't but but sometimes they're being supported through trust, and that's a whole different conversation. And right, that's not who we're talking to. So it's kind of like the extremes.

SPEAKER_05:

It's like you didn't grow up with anything, so you wanted to make sure you did, or you just already had and you didn't go without. And so you don't really know how to but that's the cycle, right?

SPEAKER_03:

You didn't have much or you had just enough, and then you spoil your kids, and those kids don't know anything about money because they just get everything they wanted. And then what does that next generation look like?

SPEAKER_05:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

Someone's got to take this by the reins.

SPEAKER_05:

Right, right. All us helicopter parents out there, right? Isn't that what we're known as the helicopter parents?

SPEAKER_03:

I think so. Um, so you know, we're the risk here. I mean, if you if you can't have the conversation, well, all right, let's back up. The risk is your parents didn't plan properly.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

If they didn't plan properly and they need assisted living, what happens? Um, if they just need money to pay bills, what happens? And that falls back on you. So, how do you start planning for that in your own planning? Because if you don't, you run the risk of derailing your retirement for taking care of the generation above you, and then a worst case scenario, taking the gener of the generation below you.

SPEAKER_05:

And sometimes you can't plan for it because it just happens. You know, sometimes you can't plan for it and there's just not enough money to save for all of it. Yeah. Right. Because you run the risk if you're supporting your parent or parents that you're not gonna have enough for your own retirement, and then your children are gonna, you know, that's the same cycle we're trying to break. Same cycle we're trying to break. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03:

You know, I mean, there there's also you know, situations well, first of all, if if a parent needs um assisted living, there's government programs, there's assistance for that. But until you've walked in that situation to realize where your loved one's going to be, you you may not you may think twice about that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, the the Medicaid planning, the Medicaid beds, the Medicaid nursing homes. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And some families I think maybe are just disconnected and that happens and they think, oh yeah, that was terrible. Uh and they're just doing good enough to care for themselves.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

But I would say most of the people who walk into a wealth management firm have resources to be able to to change those. Yeah. Maybe out of respect, out of love. Yeah. Um, but but but there's a real it's real money. That's it costs real money to care for people, especially if they're being cared for at home.

SPEAKER_05:

But yeah, it costs a lot more.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, and and and years ago, I suspect that, you know, maybe you would help your loved ones, you know, in your home and help them, but now that both parents are working, usually, you know, uh that'd be really hard more difficult, I would think, to bring your parents in to live with you too.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I I I think it's healthy. You know, uh typically we do it here when a a spouse passes away. So if we had a spouse pass away, like recently we had a wife pass away, and I told the husband, I said, Okay, this is the time you bring the girls in.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And the girls were financially on their own, very stable. Yeah. And I said, Okay, we need to have a family meeting now so they understand your finances and your estate planning and what your assets are and how you can be cared for best going forward. And he was all for it.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. Um that's interesting. So, you know, you could always like starting the conversation, get with your advisor to talk about obviously bringing their parent in or, you know, talking to their advisor about hey, maybe my parents need to have the discussion too to help with that discussion.

SPEAKER_03:

I think using a financial advisor is a great way to do it because it's an independent person and there's less emotion involved. Yeah. And what and what how we do it here is it's just a family presentation. It's, I mean, it's not a boring PowerPoint side or anything, but basically it's just pulling up assets, liabilities. Uh, we've projected out how far they can live. Um, a lot of times it's you know, 105. They live to 105, be just fine. Or if they went to a nursing home, they have this insurance or they don't have insurance, but this is the plan. Right. And so it's just such a peace of mind. And if you're the parent, if you're the older parent, uh, the grandparent in this case, you you should go through this process with your children because it gives them peace of mind and helps them understand the situ, the overall situation.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. Now, especially if they have to step in and be like power of attorney.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, exactly. And it wouldn't be a surprise.

SPEAKER_05:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh my gosh, mom or dad is in the hospital, and now I'm in charge of all this stuff.

SPEAKER_05:

And I don't even know where anything is or anything.

SPEAKER_03:

Get it, get ahead of it. As long as you can trust the person, we don't have spendthrift problems. Yeah. We don't have issues with drugs or alcohol or yeah. Yeah. Those are those are different, those are different situations. Those are situations we probably have already talked about because we need we've mitigated that in someone's estate planning, right?

SPEAKER_05:

And there's sometimes I've had meetings where we bring in the adult children, you know, with a grandparent, bring in the adult children, and maybe we don't even tell them the bottom line and all the numbers are how it works, but just that, you know, their financial plan's good. They can last till this long financially. If that you don't even have to tell them, show them the balance sheet necessarily, unless you're ready for them to step in and start, you know, you we can give as much or as little as you would like, but at least that way there's the discussion started.

SPEAKER_03:

And and let's flip that on its head for a second. I've been the bad guy. I've offered to be the bad guy many times for families of resources. So for wealthy families and they have someone in their family that wants to start the fifth business that didn't work or probably won't work. And I say, look, you know, I understand you're asking for a$200,000 loan from your mom. However, she needs this to live on.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And if you take this out, she has less income and her plan doesn't work as well.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And they're like, oh no, I don't want to hurt her, you know. And so you can kind of get them to back off a little bit at the direction of mom or dad. I'm not just doing that on my own.

SPEAKER_05:

No, of course.

SPEAKER_03:

But they say, hey, I need you to, I need you to be point here, is is typically what they say. But it when you get ready to have that conversation, you know, don't start with words like you guys are getting older or you guys are failing, or yeah, you know, you guys haven't done, you know, I know you don't have anything, we but we need to talk about where everything is. Don't don't start with um with you know negative or they failed at something or they're bad at something, uh, kind of language. You you want to keep it uh well, honestly, you want to use you want to use a financial advisor ideally to say, hey, I just I just went through this financial planning planning process. It was really good for me. I would like for you guys to go through it so that I know that you guys are taken care of.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And I'll be happy to pay for it if if that's uh what it takes for you guys to do it. But I would like to have that peace of mind that I've planned for my future and I don't want any surprises with you guys.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, that it would derail what my plan is.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And and that sometimes will start. Um, we do it the opposite way too. We have wealthy parents that say, Hey, I need you to do this for my kid.

SPEAKER_05:

Yes, yes, to make sure that some financial or just to be a sounding board for them. So that way it's like we teach them a little bit more or guide them or walk beside them as they're inheriting this money, or you know, learning to deal with money because a lot of times they don't listen to their parents.

SPEAKER_03:

Correct, correct. You know, the good news is at this firm, we have a lot of multi-generational families. So it's we already have the clients are the parents are clients, but then the children are are clients. In some cases, the the client, the parent, and the grandchildren are all clients. So it's very it's very easy to have those type of conversations and you tell the grandparents, look, your grandparents or your the child the grandchildren that the grandparents are in good shape and worry about their and this is this these are some guidelines that they built their wealth with, and this is what we suggest you start doing as well. Or whatever. Um so that that helps for us. But if you're listening, you don't even use wiser, uh, don't even have a financial advisor. Um I would start with a conversation that is positive. Um typically parents always love their children, so you want to use that angle and say, Hey, I I've been doing some planning for myself. I want to make sure you guys are taken care of, or if there's some way that I can help you down the road, I want to be prepared for that. And could we please take a minute to kind of go over your finances?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And hopefully they're open to that. Uh, there is a generation, I think they're in their 90s now that would never do that. That would be appalling to even ask it. Right. And I'm sure there's still some of that left. But what do you do? So now you now you have it in, you get you got into the conversation. What do you do next? Um, I it really starts. This is really simple in my mind, in your mind, um, but it may not be to everyone who listens to this. Start with a list of assets. So the the home, the value of the home, um, brokerage accounts, IRAs, savings accounts, CDs, the money in the folders, coffee can in the garage that could have$300,000 in it. Right, exactly. So, what is what are all the assets? Then let's talk about what do we owe? Do we owe anything on the house? Do we have any debts? Um hopefully the answer is zero, but there could be something out there. Are we really bad with money and we have tons of credit cards? So I've actually seen that.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh and then what are our what's our income? We get do we get a pension? How much do we get in Social Security? Uh, are we pulling money out of retirement accounts currently? Are we not?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh, and then what what are our expenses? The expenses could be a little harder to gather. Income's pretty straightforward. Um, that's where you'd have probably need access to checking and credit cards to kind of sum up everything. But you could ask the simple question is do you feel like you have more money each month left over? Or do you feel like things are tight each month?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. I mean, sometimes in retirement, I feel like it's almost easier to look at that because it's like you're only getting here's what you're even even when you're working, here's what you're netting.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

You know, here's what you're getting in your checking account each month. Is the balance going up or is the balance going down? You know, so it's like you can kind of see like what did you start with? What'd you end with your?

SPEAKER_03:

That's a waste of money. Then you're judging them. And then the conversation goes south. Just say, do you feel like you have more money each month, or do you feel like each month is a little tighter? Is there less money each month? Yeah. That's all you have to ask. Very open-ended and and see where that and see where that goes. Uh, and then you want to ask about do you have life insurance? Do you have long-term care insurance? And they typically should know that. I will tell you, as parents get older, things get forgotten. And if they have long-term care insurance, I would encourage you to get them to pay it, pay it automatically every single month. Because a lot of times when they get old, they forget forgetful and they don't make that payment. And they get one little letter in the mail that they probably throw away. It's not very, it's not marked very well. Next thing you know, the policy's canceled. Because I promise you, a long-term care care company, insurance company would want nothing more to have 20 years of premium payments and then cancel it in the year 21.

SPEAKER_04:

Right. Yeah.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

That would be a win for them. So it just make sure that that insurance stuff can it can it be on auto payment. Uh, and then here's the hard, here's probably the harder part, and it's gonna sound greedy when you ask it. Do you have a will? Power attorney and medical directive. The power attorney and medical directive, okay, that's for when they're alive, right? So if something happens to you, I need to be able to communicate on your behalf in the hospital. That's a pretty easy conversation. The will goes, how much money am I getting? That's what the any parent's gonna think. If you want to see the will, yeah, Shana, can I see your will? If I'm your daughter, you're probably like, oh, it's even. You need I'm your favorite. Why isn't all it all going to me? Right. Um, I I kid you not, when when uh my oldest uh son, Ethan, when he was in little, well, I say little, he's like eight or nine, but he had learned this whole Bible story at school. Uh, and he he got it literally got in the car. He goes, When you die, I get everything, right? I was like, wait, what? He's like, I get everything right. And I was like, you know, it's cool. This they told us about the story in the Bible, and the oldest son got I was like, that's the old testament. New testament, we do it differently.

SPEAKER_04:

That's too funny.

SPEAKER_01:

Quick check-in. Have you thought about the legacy you'll leave behind? Download seven steps to leave a financial legacy, a free guide from wiser wealth management to learn more. It's not just about wealth, it's about leaving a lasting impact. Go to wiserinvestor.com forward slash guides to download your free guide today. Now let's jump back into the episode.

SPEAKER_03:

But yeah, so they have all these assumptions uh in their heads. Um parents can and child, but you you want to say, look, um, do you mind if we have that reviewed to make sure everything was is been built correctly, or in fact it wouldn't exist. Maybe you're comfortable with that. Okay, there's a will.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

We need an original. Copies don't help us in probate, right?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

So we we have an original will. So let's let that's good. Yeah, it's in a safe spot. Maybe you're okay with that, or maybe you want to have that reviewed. Yeah, you can ask them that question. Mom and dad, have you reviewed it? Is it still current? Well, it's wild to me. Does it still have me going to Aunt Sally if you pass away because it thinks I'm a minor?

SPEAKER_05:

Right. Which it solves for that if you're not, obviously. But you know, it's really interesting because we, you know, you may think that they have everything in order. We have found so many people don't have any. I've had really affluent clients come in and they don't even have a will. And it blows my mind, you know. Right. Um, or they've come into some wealth and they just haven't done it yet. But 60 what we looked this up 60% of the baby boomers of Americans ages 60 to 70 don't have any estate planning in place.

SPEAKER_03:

So 60% chance your parents don't have any estate planning.

SPEAKER_05:

That's that's a pretty high. It is pretty high. So they may not.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. And then um, if you have, you know, this is something we'll throw in. Free advice on a free podcast. That's even better, right? Uh death tax. So everyone thinks if you pass away, you have to pay death tax. If you're living in the South for sure, um there's no death tax unless you get a net worth of 30 plus million dollars for mom and dad.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

So that you hopefully have estate planning done if you have a net worth that high. You better I don't have some complicated trust to help you with that. Um, but for for everyone else, you're not gonna worry about death tax. But you don't what you want to avoid is probate if you can. Or if you want to go through probate, let's go through it with a will and not let the judge decide how assets get divided.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03:

Because if there if there's no will, typically what we get uh get uh if there was two children, a third would go to mom, a third goes to the that's right, um, each child. It gets split equally between if you have a bad sibling who takes the money and run, and then mom doesn't have uh enough support.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, there's a lot of complications with no will.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Um anything else to add there? I think I think that covers it. Uh I you know, I wanted to add a piece on risk and fraud. So elder abuse is a real thing. And this is where your job as a parent is to step in and make sure your parents are not getting taken advantage of.

SPEAKER_05:

I feel like I almost got taken advantage of a couple of times, and I already know this. And I'm like, I got talking to somebody, and I was like, this sounds real to me.

SPEAKER_03:

We're all getting those texts about I don't know. I I think nobody in Florida has probably paid their son pass bill because I get my your son pass bill is past due. I'm like, this is a fraud, and it's all over the news, it's a fraud. I'm like, poor son pass in Florida, they're not getting any revenue because every time they get someone gets a bill, they're like, This is fraud.

SPEAKER_05:

They're probably getting a lot in late fees, though. So they're probably making mink on that.

SPEAKER_03:

That's true. But yeah, yeah. So we have all these sophisticated texts and uh emails going out. Uh one of our clients lives by herself. She kept getting something that her power bill was delayed or late. And her power bill, she didn't even have that power company, but she's literally trying to pay it on her phone. Uh in the last 12 months, over a billion dollars in fraud has been committed to those type things. So don't look at it and go, oh, nobody would do this. A billion dollars worth did it. I don't know how many people that is, probably more than one.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, that's a lot of people because it's probably small transactions.

SPEAKER_03:

Small transactions, yeah. Uh and the that money doesn't come back typically. So you and the older parents, um, the biggest scams are, I think, are gonna come through these uh Medicare renewals. So they get ready to renew their Medicare and they get cards in the mail. Your Medicare is gonna be canceled on whatever date. Like no one's canceling your Medicare, you're your auto-renew everywhere you go. You don't have to go, they just they want you to sign up for their plan. So you sign up for their plan, then it does cancel your old one and takes over the new one, and someone got a commission. Uh, but it's it's bad. Um, a couple of clients where you have to kind of go through mail and kind of keep on top of things for them. They don't have family. Yeah, I see those things all the time. Your Medicare is being canceled on this date. And I'm like, that's crazy. That's that's really aggressive. Yeah. Um, so so just be careful, maybe even tell them uh about scams and that before they do anything, they should reach out. You might even want to put life lock on them, honestly.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, if if especially if they're older, what else are they doing that they would need credit for anything?

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

So sign up for LifeLock, or if you don't want to pay for that, go right to the three credit reporting agencies and just turn it on, yeah, just freeze it so you can't have things taken out. It all they need is their um name, address, and a social security number, and you could pretty much do anything and date of birth. Yeah, you can pretty much do anything. And that all that information lives in public space now. There's none of that information that's private anymore.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, it's scary. Real scary.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, we had one fraud, not uh no, it's been a few years now, but she called me. Um she called me on a Friday night. I was like literally in a movie theater with my kids, and I saw it was her, and she never calls me unless she absolutely needs something super important. I answered the phone, she says, Casey, I just did something really bad. I said, Well, I said what? She's like, She lives in assisted living, she doesn't drive. You know, what could you get in trouble with? And she's she goes, person called me up and said, I'm sorry, ma'am, I didn't get your social security number on our last call. Could you give that to me really quick? And she goes, I gave it to him. And as soon as I gave it to him, I realized that I hadn't talked to anybody about my social security. She's like, I didn't talk to anybody about anything really all day, business wise. And I just gave out my social security number to somebody.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And so um, literally we just signed her up for life lock, like right there on my cell phone. Yeah. And and locked everything down so nothing would happen. So you you want to um try to get ahead of that where you can on on the risk and fraud management for for parents. But um I don't know. I mean, what can what can we what else can we do as children to help parents?

SPEAKER_05:

I mean, I it's really starting the conversation and help them do planning, just help protect them, um, make sure they're okay financially. I, you know, I there's not a ton you can do if they're not open to it, obviously. But um, if you're starting to see memory issues, you know, maybe step in and start taking over and being the financial power of attorney. And a lot of times the advisors will will reach out to somebody too. Um, many times I have, you know, clients come in and they'll ask, when should I bring my children into the fold? You know, the adult children. I'm like, whenever you feel comfortable if something were to happen, you know, we try to start those conversations for you.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_05:

Because even if there's nothing going on, you know, at some point, if if we see maybe healths declining or, you know, something like that, then we will bring it up. Yep. You know, bringing in and we know who the powers of attorney are.

SPEAKER_03:

There's always a trusted contact if there's just one spouse left. So or any single person always has a trusted contact. Um, and so that that helps with those the those conversations.

SPEAKER_05:

I I think I feel like the clients that work with advisors, they are open to all of that, unless there's obviously a family situation. I think what I see most is clients coming in and saying, How do I start this with discussion with my because I don't really know if they have a plan and I don't know if they'll even talk to me about it.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_05:

So, you know, that's where just starting to uh you know your parents best, you know. So if whether it's getting alone or getting all the kids together and talking, um, you know, having coffee with them, just sitting down and talking about your concerns, and you just want to make sure they're okay. Um, and then, like you said, helping to run projections and plans and seeing what does it look like. And if there is a shortfall of sorts, then, you know, maybe decide what does that look like, you know, is as that mean we sell a house eventually for their care? Because a lot of people don't take that into consideration, you know. What they don't happens many times, like, okay, well, the assets are getting low. What if they need to go somewhere? Well, if they do go somewhere, then their home could be sold and use that for, you know, care. And really statistically, let's talk about, I think this is important because we're all worried about healthcare costs and we should be. But statistically, most of the time, by the time you have a healthcare event, you only need care for less than a year. Yeah. Because unfortunately, you don't make it statistically beyond a year. If you do make it beyond a year, the average is two and a half years. So, you know, where where you get into longer stays, you know, the five to eight years where you have memory care or, you know, things like that. Alzheimer's, right? So I I'm not saying you shouldn't plan for it, but just know that statistically, most of the time it's less than a year, most of the time.

SPEAKER_03:

I I I think um there's ways that you can reduce your own stress. One of those is if you're able to have the conversations and they you realize that they do need help instead of having to log in every single month and try to figure out how to pay their bills for them, set auto pay up.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Start auto drafts and then you get you get copies of the bank statement every month and you kind of look at that and see, okay, all these drafts make sense to me.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, it it could be that you have to cut other people out there, meaning maybe money's going to third parties or to other family members that shouldn't be. Uh we can't uh take a bad situation and make it worse. Like we need to focus on parents, keeping parents taken care of before before we start sending parent money that they don't have really to other people, other kids.

SPEAKER_05:

That's hard conversations to have.

SPEAKER_03:

And those are those are hard conversations.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, but I I think when you when you sit down and you talk with people and say, this is a situation, at least me as an advisor, when I've had to have those hard conversations with family members, yeah, everyone's been like, oh yeah, okay, well, that makes sense. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Because we all we all know the truth.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

But sometimes we just need to see it on paper or we need to have a conversation with a third party about it.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, and don't forget, if you are acting as a power of attorney because you step in as a fiddle, you're a fiduciary. So you have to do what's in the best interest of the client, the your parent or whomever you're serving. So whoever you're acting on behalf of. And so if there are, if you do see things going on, you know, I would say obviously depends how the conversations are going, but if you're controlling it because they can't, you have to make what's in the best decision for the person you're help serving. Yeah. So in capacity. So, you know, it's you are a fiduciary in that. So you have to do what's in their best interest, even if it's not in other people's best interest.

SPEAKER_03:

And I think the best way to start is getting your own planning done. If you have your own planning in place, then you and I I say this a lot from a from like a investment standpoint, but it applies in planning. You you want to help people from a position of strength, and you get your own house. In order so that you can make sure that you can help other houses. You can't have a bunch of weak houses or else you're gonna have some problems if there's a hiccup, whether it be your job, the economy, or whatever. And it could be if it's things are expensive and you're really caring, you're doing it out of love. I I think one of the um privileges of success is being able to help your parents. Does that make sense? Yeah. Like they helped raise you, they helped define who you are. Maybe you got lucky, maybe it's your work ethic. I don't believe in luck really, but maybe it's your work ethic that you that you got from them. Um but being able to then turn back around and say, look, I can support you in this so you can live a better quality of life, uh, that's that's the like the ultimate ward. No one really calls that a flex. You know, you think about uh social media is like the ultimate flex is when you have your own G5 or your ultimate flex is when, you know, whatever. I I think I think a quiet flex is I care for my parents. Yeah, honestly. And some people do it through time, yeah. Because they have they have time to go care for mom and dad, and that's what they do. Uh we have oh my gosh, we have so many clients who have done that. They their parents are on social security, that's all they have, and they lived with them and they just cared for them.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

That's that's uh uh that has many rewards.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Um but I think being able to care for the people that cared for you and shaped you as a person is is a privilege because that means you've probably been successful yourself. Well, you're at least you're willing to sacrifice for that.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

So I don't don't see it as a burden. Um but that being said, you don't want to derail your own plan.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

So very often what I tell clients is, hey, don't go paying for the nursing home. Don't go paying for these things. There are programs out there for that. There's other ways that you can help them financially. But if they want to stay home and you want to pay for a caregiver, that's probably gonna that's gonna be on you. That's there's not a whole lot of yeah. After you've exhausted all the were they in the military, right? Do you have state care hospice? There's many different levels of hospice.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, so you're not doesn't mean you're dying, but they'll come in and check in and do bathing and there's all kinds of programs out there that you can get involved in. But don't don't look at it as a burden and know that there's people out there that are doing it just like you. 14% of Americans evidently are already supporting, but there's a lot of people coming behind you. Forty one percent think that they're definitely gonna have to be helping parents financially.

SPEAKER_05:

Right. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03:

And then hopefully you're in a situation that um that that your parents prepared well and you prepare well and you have to worry about that, and maybe it's more time.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Maybe it's just making sure that you're they're being cared for properly. All right, that's a whole nother conversation.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

But if you you can be in the best assisted living ever, but it's that all comes down to the people, right?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

So check on those parents, go at different times, make sure they're getting the service and the care that they need.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh a good assisted living is gonna be about fifty five hundred dollars a month. The okay ones are about thirty-five hundred dollars a month. Right. So think about that. Um I think that was a little therapeutic for me walking through all that. Uh anyway, go out there, have a great holiday season. Um, just have this in the back of your mind, and let's think about how we can care for those who cared for us and then set up our next generation where they you don't have to be cared for financially.

SPEAKER_05:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

Lead by example, lead by example for the next generation. You don't have to be cared for financially.

SPEAKER_05:

Start those conversations early about money so they don't have to come to you worried about how to start those conversations. Yep.

SPEAKER_03:

Let's build generational wealth. Let's have the conversations be uh, how many charities can we help this year with our foundation versus um yeah, how do we how do we get mom and dad utility bills paid for? Right. Two very different, different situations, right?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh thanks for listening to today's episode. If you're interested in learning more about Wiser Wealth Management, I want to schedule a consultation to meet with one of our fiduciary financial advisors, Shana. You can do so by going to wiserinvestor.com or by clicking the episode notes. Thanks again. We'll see you guys next week.

SPEAKER_00:

Thanks for listening to a Wiser Retirement Podcast. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. Make sure to subscribe wherever you're listening. That way you don't miss any new episodes. We'd also appreciate if you could leave a rating and review. If you have any questions about anything that was discussed today, head to wiserinvestor.com and reach out. This podcast is strictly for informational purposes only and is not to be considered as investment advice or solicitation to buy or sell any financial products, securities, digital assets, or any other investment vehicles or a basis to make any financial decisions. Wiser Wealth Management Incorporated is a registered investor advisor with the SEC. The host and or guest may personally own securities, digital assets, or other investment vehicles mentioned on this podcast. Neither the host nor guests of the show are compensated for their participation, and no referral fees are paid to or received by any host or guest for clients, listeners, or similar interests. Investments involve risk, and unless otherwise stated are not guaranteed, be sure to first consult with a qualified financial advisor, tax professional, insurance professional, andor legal professional before implementing any strategy discussed herein. Past performance is not indicative of future performance.