There Has to Be More to Life Than This: Why Success Doesn't Always Lead to Fulfillment

You're successful. You've checked all the boxes.  You're grateful.

But deep down, you still feel restless.  Something keeps quietly whispering ... 

"There has to be more to life than this."

In this heartfelt conversation, Jill O'Boyle is joined by coach and Rooted & Real Co-Host, Stephanie Martino, to unpack why so many women reach a point where success no longer feels like enough. 

Together they explore the hidden cost of hustle culture, why burnout isn't always caused by doing too much, and how God often uses holy restlessness to invite us into deeper purpose, peace, and authentic identity. 

In this episode you'll discover:

•  Why the feeling of "there has to be more" may actually be God's invitation, not selfish ambition.
•  How to stop defining yourself by your titles, achievements, and productivity and begin living from your God-given identity. 
•  Practical encouragement to slow down, pay attention to God's nudges, and trust the season He has you in—even when you can't yet see what's growing beneath the surface. 

Whether you're navigating burnout, searching for purpose, longing for deeper faith, or simply craving more peace in your life, this conversation will encourage you to pause, breathe, and remember that God is still writing your story.

Connect with Jill O’Boyle:

Website
Instagram - @jeoboyle
Facebook -  @jilloboylecoach  /  @jill.oboyle
LinkedIn

All the links

✨ Rooted & Real Retreat
A transformational retreat experience for women ready to step out of survival mode, reconnect with themselves, and create space for what matters most. Learn more here: Rooted & Real 

✨ Natural Wellness Support
Looking for natural support for stress, burnout, energy, hormones, or menopause? Jill shares the all-natural plant-extract drops that have helped her and many others take back their life naturally. 

Learn more here: Plant-Extract Drops

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Transcript

Jill O'Boyle (00:02.63)
Well, hello, everybody, and welcome back to Your Life, Your Story Rise Up Podcast. I'm your host, Jill O'Boyle. And, you know, today's episode was inspired by a phrase that I just found myself like quietly saying over and over again. And that phrase is there has to be more to life than this. Maybe you found yourself, you know, saying something similar, maybe the same thing.

and not because your life is like terrible, right? not because you're not grateful for all that you've been, you know, given in your life, but honestly, because despite everything you've accomplished, like despite all the boxes that you check, there's still just this lingering feeling that something just might be missing. Like a sense that you're meant for more than simply just getting through the day.

managing the schedule, ladies, you know, meeting the expectations, just doing what needs to be done. Like on paper, if you've been like me, you like your life may look exactly how you imagine it would, but deep down there's just that sense of restlessness that you just can't quite explain. So there has to be more to life than this. That's the phrase that just kept coming up for me. A longing for something more, more purpose, more peace, more joy, more connection, like

More meaning. And so if you've ever felt that way, then I'm so glad you're here because today's conversation is just for you. So today we are going to talk about why so many women find themselves asking that question or really a statement. Like there has to be more to life than this.

Jill O'Boyle (01:53.83)
And so today what we'll do is we're gonna unpack what that feeling might actually be, trying to like really tell us and what can happen when we finally stop long enough just to listen. And so joining me for this awesome conversation is my friend and rooted in real co-host, Stephanie Martino.

Stephanie Martino (02:13.697)
Hello. Thank you for having me. You know, I was just thinking this morning, I think one of the first times we talked, you interviewed me on your podcast. And now, I don't know what, a year later, I mean, God has been so good about bringing us together in just so many ways that I have been blessed by you. And so I'm so thankful to be able to be here and have this discussion with you and really hopefully.

Jill O'Boyle (02:20.985)
Mm-hmm. Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (02:35.832)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Martino (02:40.389)
share something that will really resonate with your listeners. So thank you for having me again.

Jill O'Boyle (02:44.101)
Yes. Yes. Thank you for being here. And that's just the goodness of God, right? Like how He connected us. And I remember both of you and I on that podcast recording when we first got introduced and we got off that recording and we both were like, we could have talked for hours. Like clearly there's a friendship here. And and and we both couldn't pin it, but we're like, God is doing something here. So there's more. And that's what's so funny, is like we both were like,

There's more here. We don't know what that is. And just look how God has worked through both of us and connecting us and our friendship and having you come alongside of me for, you know, not only Rooted in but the 828 retreat. So excited for having you back on the podcast and just our conversation today, which is going to be, I think, one that the listeners are going to really resonate with. Yep.

Stephanie Martino (03:36.949)
I think so. I think so.

Jill O'Boyle (03:39.087)
So let me ask you, Stephanie, you know, that's a phrase like I said that I just found myself in a certain season of my life just repeating and saying over and over. I just, you know, in my head, you know, there has to be more to life than this. When you hear that, what comes to mind for you?

Stephanie Martino (03:55.457)
Mm-hmm. I think now kind of on the other side of understanding what it meant for me, what it what it means to me is more purpose, more fulfillment, more meaning than what I was currently experiencing. I at the time I was feeling it, I don't I wouldn't have been able to explain it that way. We are kind of fine. Right, right. That truly t that's what comes to my mind. It's something deeper.

Jill O'Boyle (04:01.073)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (04:06.715)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (04:12.049)
Sure.

Jill O'Boyle (04:16.835)
Right, right. Like you couldn't pinpoint what that was. Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (04:25.004)
More meaningful moment.

Jill O'Boyle (04:25.187)
Yeah. Yep. So you said you might not have been able to pinpoint it back then. So it sounds like there was a season in your life where you might have felt that way.

Stephanie Martino (04:35.274)
Yes, absolutely. So I spent 27 years in corporate America. And you know, the first 20, I didn't really think about it. You know, I was like, you know, this is what I'm supposed to do. I'm living my life, have a job, you know, great. but that last six or seven years, I s really started feeling that there was something more, something different that I was meant to do, but I did not know what. I just, I just had this.

Jill O'Boyle (04:36.848)
Ha.

Jill O'Boyle (04:46.053)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (04:55.505)
Mm.

Stephanie Martino (05:02.36)
feeling. And I knew that it wasn't that I wanted more, you know, success per se. I was never like someone who wanted to climb the corporate ladder or, you know, anything like that. But I just I felt this pull to be more impactful in my life. I guess that's kind of what it came down to. I wanted to help people, but I wanted to help them at that core personal level. And that's that's just all I knew. I knew there's more. There's something different I'm supposed to do.

Jill O'Boyle (05:13.936)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (05:19.824)
Ooh, yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (05:27.397)
Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (05:30.809)
Something more. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Well, was there something that triggered like something just feels off in this corporate journey of yours?

Stephanie Martino (05:32.332)
And that's where it started. Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (05:42.211)
Yeah. Well like I said, yeah, for I mean like I said, the first 20 years or whatever, I didn't think about it. But then I just started having this feeling. And and the funny thing is, you know, on the surface, my career looked great. You know, I had a great job, I had made good money, great benefits, great co-workers, everything was great. Great, great, great.

Jill O'Boyle (05:54.896)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (06:02.149)
Yeah. Right. Yep. Yep.

Stephanie Martino (06:06.638)
Was not fulfilled. You know, I was I was often drained. I hated Mondays, which I know that's kind of like just a thing anyway. But I felt at that point like I was just kind of going through the motions. like, well, this is just what I'm supposed to do, but man, this is this is what life is. Is this what I'm gonna be doing for the next however many years? And so it was just this feeling that was so strong.

Jill O'Boyle (06:13.081)
Mm.

Jill O'Boyle (06:19.215)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (06:27.311)
Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (06:34.707)
and I just was like, This is not this is not it. This is not it. There's something more. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (06:34.811)
Yeah.

Right. Yeah. I relate I relate so much to that. It's like that Sunday blues, that Sunday dread. Like I remember feeling that so much. And like you said, like Monday is Monday, right? Like there's a start of a new week. But I mean, now that I am in this role of like pursuing what I feel like God is calling me to my purpose, like I don't wait. I love what I do. Like there's still daunting tasks for sure.

But like I don't have that Sunday blue feeling of that anxiety where I couldn't even I was in a season where I couldn't even enjoy Sundays because I was already thinking about Monday and the workload and the stress and everything that like almost would like my Sunday was just ruined because of it. yeah. Dread. It was fear, it was literally dread. And so like I literally s had that phrase replayed all the time, like thinking like, again, much like you, like.

Stephanie Martino (07:23.372)
Yeah, yeah. Dread. It was dread.

Jill O'Boyle (07:36.196)
I I did enjoy my job. Like I loved, I planned events, corporate trade shows. I was really good at it. I was successful on paper, right? Like, so I was checking off all the boxes, but yet in my mind, it was saying, but there still has to be more to life than this. Like, just yes, I have the good job. Yes, the pay is great, but something is feeling off. But it did it took me a long time to actually.

Say that out loud. Like that was a phrase here in my head that I was telling myself. But I wasn't really at that point when I go back to think about that season of my life, like really admitting that to others. Like, I don't know about you. Like, why do you feel like do you feel like women, when you think about that, why do think it's so difficult for women to just like admit they're feeling this way? Or do you agree with that statement, like that they are afraid to admit it?

Stephanie Martino (08:29.314)
I mean, I think so. I did. and I think it kind of goes back to you know how I described everything was great. So what the heck? Like, and I want more? Like, how much more do you want, woman? Right? Like everything's great, and you want more. So it was almost like, gosh, I am just so I'm being ungrateful for what I have. And so it's the is that tension between

Jill O'Boyle (08:32.251)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (08:42.821)
Ha ha ha.

Jill O'Boyle (08:48.185)
Mm.

Jill O'Boyle (08:52.752)
yeah. Hmm.

Stephanie Martino (08:56.832)
this pull. I I wasn't trying to feel that way. I was feeling that way. And now I know that that like that wasn't God showing me that there's something more. But there's that tension between having this feeling that that there's something I feel like there's more, but yet I don't really have anything major to complain about. So I think there's that that, you know, feeling like maybe we're being ungrateful, that we're being selfish for wanting more. or I think even sometimes we might even think like

Jill O'Boyle (09:03.983)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (09:10.979)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (09:23.984)
Yep.

Stephanie Martino (09:26.368)
It may come across to others that we think we're better. Like, well, there's something more for me. Right. Right.

Jill O'Boyle (09:31.792)
Right, right. Like there's like we're we're entitled to something, you know. And I and I love that you said the word selfish because I resonate with that. I I think it's like this subconscious belief that comes up, like why are you so, you know, selfish? Why is it always about have to be about you? You know, which that's that's the lie of the enemy that I was that I was hearing because it wasn't about, you know, selfish ambitions. It was that God was nudging me and pulling me in the direction. Again, didn't know that at the time.

Stephanie Martino (09:35.298)
Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (10:01.475)
In hindsight, when I can look back and I can say, that was God's all along saying, you know, I've created you for more than the hustle. I've created you for more than this busyness. I've created you with gifts and purpose and talents that maybe yes, you're using right now in in this season. And I've placed you here for a certain reason. But now I'm I'm now I'm asking you to move, right? And that can be scary when God asks you to move out of some comfort, even when I was burned out.

Stephanie Martino (10:24.739)
Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (10:31.183)
You know, like I think that's just like interesting when people are like, I am so burned out, but yet I'm still kind of comfortable because I know what I do and I wake up every day. I don't have to worry. I'm not maybe micromanaged. I can do my own thing, but I am so burned out. so

Stephanie Martino (10:37.398)
Mm.

Stephanie Martino (10:46.414)
Yeah, I always call that the uncomfortable comfort zone. It's it's really not comfortable, but it's familiar. So the familiarity is the comfort. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (10:51.248)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (10:54.765)
Yeah, absolutely. I'm also curious on your, you know, what you went through and some things that you've experienced. Like, do you think that there have been like messages while you grew up about like, you know, achieving and success and like worth and like being entitled for more or like work hard, play hard. Like what what kind of messages did you hear and do you think that could also play into like some of this that we're discussing?

Stephanie Martino (11:23.242)
Oof, this is a loaded question, actually, for me. I think there's which is good, right? This is this makes it interesting. But think it it's almost two different messages. So I think there's a message that we receive just from society or our culture that puts a priority on a different type of more, like the success of making

Jill O'Boyle (11:25.233)
I tend to do that.

Jill O'Boyle (11:44.465)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Martino (11:47.651)
good money, climbing the ladder, having the nice house, going on the fancy vacations, you know, like having all the things. And that type of more, that desire for more, is almost acceptable or even in some cases like expected. Like you should want that. Like if you don't want that, then you're not. You're just lazy or something, you know, like, yeah. Right. But so that's like I would say a message from society. But like me growing up,

Jill O'Boyle (11:52.411)
Yeah. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (12:06.897)
Mm. that's really good. Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (12:17.664)
It that was not the message. My the way I grew up was much more like, you know, you just have a steady job and make sure you are, you know, putting money away in savings and you know, don't live flashy and you don't need all the big fancy things. And so it was almost two completely opposite messages that I had received. But the funny thing is, neither of those actually was where what God was calling me to.

Jill O'Boyle (12:29.488)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (12:42.353)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Martino (12:47.714)
He wasn't calling me to climb the ladder of success. And he also wasn't calling me to stay in a safe job. Right. It was it's something something different. So it's like you have all different messages and then yet there's something different that God is actually calling you to.

Jill O'Boyle (12:47.717)
Mm.

Jill O'Boyle (12:54.961)
That's right. That's right. Yeah. Mm.

Jill O'Boyle (13:03.109)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so so relatable. you know, I grew up not flashy either. You know, I grew up in a loving home, two parents that worked, but they did work really hard. both my parents did not go to college. I had an older brother that also didn't go to college. and so nothing that my parents per se told me, right? This is nothing.

That they specifically like told me, but it's a belief that I felt deeply that Jill, you must work hard, do a good job, be the perfect child, be the perfect student, you know, get the good grades. Like, no fault to my parents at all. Like they were just doing they were just doing what they knew. Now, of course, that would have made them proud, right? And I think sometimes, and I'm not I not that I think, I know.

that I I like to make people proud. I want to do good good job. I want to perform. I want to be liked, right? That's where the people pleasing comes from. and so I I adopted this belief that I had to do all of these things. And through all of that, right, that's where that high achieving mindset comes from. That's where, you know, I did work my way up through success, you know, really easily.

But in all of that, like I lost myself along the way because that was always the strive, was the perfection, the performance, the acceptance, you know, of others. And I think that's interesting how you said, like, you know, my parents didn't say this, and you know, I, you know, God wasn't telling me this, right? You like God was not telling me to perform, like he says quite the opposite if we go to scripture, right?

Jesus was never running anywhere. He was always walking. So why am I hustling and worrying? You know? but yeah, I had a really, really rock bottom moment and I really did lose myself. And so I'm just curious from your standpoint, like how why do you think or how how do we become so focused on taking care of everyone else that we just

Jill O'Boyle (15:21.903)
you know, stop taking care of ourselves. And when I say taking care of everyone else, I'm not saying like being a care, maybe you are a caregiver, but like in my situation, like I was putting everybody else's needs in front of me. So if something in my corporate job, let's use my corporate job for example, if something needed done, I was always the person that would be like, go to jail, she'll get it done. It was a it was it was something that I and I would, I would work really hard to make sure that I wouldn't let anybody down.

And they would come to me. And because they would come to me, yeah, they probably knew I would say yes. So they kept coming to me, right? It's like I would say yes to all these things. at the sake of my own projects, my own clients, my own family. Let's think about that. Like I would stay at work so late, yet I was putting my family on the back burner. And because of that, you know, costing my marriage, costing time with my kids, not being present with my own self. And so

I know I'm not alone in that. I think I I see that in the women I serve and the women I coach. And I just curious from your standpoint, like, what have you seen, you know, in women you're coaching and women that are just always the givers and giving to everybody else but not pouring into themselves?

Stephanie Martino (16:32.908)
Mm-hmm. Gosh. I think that's why we hear so much about self-care. because I think a lot of women in particular struggle with that. I also feel like it could get very distorted as to what that means. So and the thing is, I don't you know, you don't want to say that like

Jill O'Boyle (16:39.078)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (16:52.047)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Martino (16:59.838)
Being that person that people know they can go to and that you're gonna, you know, get things done, that's not a bad thing, right? Like it's good to be able to be that person that people can depend on. But with anything, it's when we take it to an extreme. And yes, it's the boundary piece. And you know, nobody likes I haven't met any person yet that is like, I love setting boundaries with people. I am a pro.

Jill O'Boyle (17:06.49)
Right. Right.

Jill O'Boyle (17:14.053)
Yeah, you gotta have boundaries. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (17:23.857)
Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (17:27.444)
We just don't like it. It feels uncomfortable, right? so we could go off on a whole nother tangent about that. We do go there. But but it does come into play here. So I think there is again that kind of that happy medium. It's life tends to be we where we can go into extremes. We can take care of everyone else and completely abandon our own needs.

Jill O'Boyle (17:29.744)
No.

Stephanie Martino (17:54.519)
And things that you know would keep us, keep us healthy and energized and being able to live a life and and and doing the things that God is calling us to do, right? We can focus so much on doing everything for everybody else that we abandon that, or we can go the opposite direction where we're like, I don't care about anybody else. I'm doing it's about me. It's all about me. And that's what I feel like we have to be so careful about. It's not

Jill O'Boyle (18:16.622)
Mate.

Stephanie Martino (18:23.916)
It's not either it's neither of those. It's it's about prioritizing what matters most in that moment. And that can be different depending on the moment, depending on the relationship, be depending on what's going on in your life. You know, I think sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to say yes, right? To be there.

Jill O'Boyle (18:25.669)
Right. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (18:30.865)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's so good.

Jill O'Boyle (18:37.787)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (18:50.225)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Stephanie Martino (18:51.926)
That person to show up, to give yourself, to sacrifice. Sometimes the most loving thing to do is to say no. So how do you know? How do you know when you should say yes or no? Okay. Well, so in my opinion, I think a lot of it does come down, not everything, but a lot of it does come in come down to understanding.

Jill O'Boyle (18:53.775)
Yeah. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (19:05.507)
Yeah. How do you? Let's talk about that.

Stephanie Martino (19:16.096)
what you truly value, what you want to stand for, what is most important to you. And when I say most important to you, again, I don't mean it's all about me. Right. It's like what kind of person do I want to be? What do I want to be known for? How does that align with what God calls us to do? You know, I think we're mainly speaking to Christian women here. So, you know, we're we're called to love. That can be really hard. And, you know,

Jill O'Boyle (19:23.677)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (19:28.933)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (19:35.055)
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (19:41.613)
Man, if we have to do I don't even want to. I've thought about doing this. I I need to do like a checklist of like love is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, does not dishonor, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, right? Can I be like, Yep, I got all those. I

Jill O'Boyle (19:51.193)
Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (20:01.027)
I got all that in my box. Boom boom boom. Nope.

Stephanie Martino (20:04.63)
No, I I mean I can't say that some days I'm better at things than others. right. But how that what that looks like, love is kind. That can mean different things depending on the situation. Sometimes again, the most kind thing you can do is to say no to someone else's request because your family is what matters in that moment. Being with your children, being with yourself, whatever, right?

Jill O'Boyle (20:10.033)
Yeah, more human. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (20:31.889)
Hmm. Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (20:33.814)
And sometimes the most kind thing you can do is to sacrifice some time with your family to be there for someone who truly needs, needs you, right? And maybe that's what God's calling you to do. So I think it's a hard question because there is no black or white answer. and that's where we really have to do that work to examine and reflect on, you know, what kind of person do I want to be? What kind of person is God calling me to be? What do I really value? What are the

Jill O'Boyle (20:43.493)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (21:02.296)
What are the things that I are my non-negotiables about how I want to show up in life? And and if I go against that value, that does not feel good. Right? Like that's a clue. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (21:04.923)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (21:12.539)
Yes. It's really a clue. Yeah. Those values and knowing those and what you stand for and is so probably the biggest thing I did like when I was coming out of burnout and understanding more about myself and God and faith and setting intentional boundaries. But literally like, what do you stand for, Jill? And I'm like, what do you mean? What do I stand for? Like I had no idea what it meant. I knew my core values in corporate, but I hadn't couldn't tell you what my own values were. And like

So setting those and then knowing those, it's gonna help you so much in just what you're saying, like how to make decisions that align in the season that you're in, right? And in that moment that you're in. Yeah. That's

Stephanie Martino (21:52.313)
And it actually helps you to set and hold a boundary because you are holding it to something that you know is important. It's not a random boundary, right? You feel strongly about it, which makes it easier for you to hold that boundary.

Jill O'Boyle (21:58.053)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. When you were talking earlier, you were talking about, you know, prioritizing, you know, really what matters in that moment and season. And it brought me back to our discussion in Rooted in Real Collective, our group coaching, that you're you're partaking in when we were talking about Martha and Mary and the example like in the Bible where he's really talking about, you know.

mm you know, Martha and Mary and the difference of one is so busy doing all the things. Like, do you not see like we have to get all the stuff done for the for the dinner and all this? And Jesus is like, no, no, no. Right? Who was it? Martha was the one busy. And Mary or Marthy was the busy one. Yeah. Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (22:40.568)
Right. Martha was a busy one. She was busy, busy doing all the things. Mm-hmm. Right. And Mary was the one sitting at Jesus' feet. Yeah. And and again, I think Martha, it's not that what she was doing was bad. That was probably her gifting, right? She was probably very gifted in hospitality and and so those were great things. But again, she pri she prioritized something that was not as important. What really mattered in that moment was to spend time with Jesus, right? And so she prioritized the wrong thing in that moment. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (22:55.215)
Right.

Jill O'Boyle (22:59.216)
Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (23:06.565)
Yeah. Yeah. I yeah. Yeah. We well, yeah. I mean, I just relate to Martha so much and I'm like, my gosh, Lord, I'm sorry I'm being like Martha right now because the gift of hospitality and planning and events and focusing on all the minute new things. Like honestly, my husband brought that up the other day when I was talking about the rooted in real retreat and everything that I need to get done. And he was just like, You don't have to go do all of those things. Like just

Stephanie Martino (23:09.986)
We can do that all the time. I'm I'm a I'm Mark.

Jill O'Boyle (23:36.814)
You're hosting the the space is beautiful enough. Holy Spirit's gonna show up. Why do you worry? And I'm like, and it just brought me back to like our conversation in our group coaching about Martha and Mary. And I'm like, there I go, being Martha again. Yeah, I know. my gosh. Yeah. No, that's so good. It really is about prioritizing our values and you know, just a good reflection moment, like one that we just, you know, don't think about enough. Like, what are you prioritizing right now? What are you

Stephanie Martino (23:49.006)
Thanks.

Jill O'Boyle (24:04.827)
Constantly hustling and being busy for. but really what matters most right now? And like in that story, of course, like Jesus, like, she's gotta figure it out. Like, she's prioritizing me above everything else. So, but yeah, what matters most in this moment in this season? that like when I hear that, it always brings me back to one of the things that my pastor says, like pretty much 90% of his sermons end with the same phrase because I think.

Just like Jesus was telling, you know, Martha, you know, we have to rema we have to remind ourselves of things over and over. Like we know this stuff, but like we get so busy in it. And it's like my pastor, every sermon almost ends with the same thing. And he says, Who you are becoming is more important than what you are doing.

Stephanie Martino (24:52.558)
Yes, yes, yes.

Jill O'Boyle (24:54.053)
Like pause, listeners, right now. Like, if you're listening to this, like, let me repeat that. Who you are becoming, who you are becoming is more important than what you are doing. You know, like think about that for a minute. Like, what would you know still be true about you if all your titles, all the things you're so busy and consumed with?

All the things that you're doing, your role, like if that just disappeared tomorrow. You know, what's your what's your thought on that? Soak that in for a minute. Because I remember if I in a season of my life, you know, all I knew about Jill O'Boyle or how I showed up and identified myself was all in the doing. well, I'm a project manager, I oversee a project management team, I plan events.

Host large corporate and trade show events. I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm the, you know, like it's all about stuff that I essentially do. But like underneath that is this whisper that I think Pastor Darren is saying in our service is like, who are you though? Like, who underneath it, like, who am I is often like a really good question. I think who you are becoming, it makes you think like, who am I becoming?

Am I becoming a person of a follower of Jesus? Am I, you know, showing up in the character and humility and authentic auth you know, authenticity of God? you know, so I don't know. What's your thoughts on this, Stephanie? Like when you hear that statement, like what's your thoughts?

Stephanie Martino (26:35.448)
Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (26:39.104)
Mm-hmm. Well, it reminds me of another statement I've heard that, you know, God is more concerned with our character than our comfort. Yeah, right. And that may we may be like, well, that'll sound so good. Right. Because sometimes we're more concerned about our comfort. But it really goes back to like our character is who we are, right? and

Jill O'Boyle (26:46.074)
Ooh, that's good.

Jill O'Boyle (26:52.177)
Mm-hmm.

We are definitely concerned about our comfort. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (27:01.807)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Martino (27:08.394)
That building our character and becoming who we are takes experiences. It takes unfortunately, it takes hard times and challenges to actually build that character. And I think that's a where like choosing our perspective about what's happening in our life comes into play because we can very easily be like, well, this, I don't like this.

Jill O'Boyle (27:21.701)
Yes, it does.

Stephanie Martino (27:36.589)
You know, poor me. Why is all this stuff happening to me? Right. or wow, okay, this is not fun. I do not like this, but what is God teaching me in this? What am I becoming in this? And so yeah, I I think it's so important that that is a t totally a choice that we have to make in our mind as to how we actually look at that.

Jill O'Boyle (27:51.801)
Yeah, always teaching this. Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (28:05.839)
Yeah. Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (28:06.086)
and so when you think about like people, we go to what we do, right? think about I mean, yeah, networking event, you meet anybody, first thing you ask, Well, what do you do?

Jill O'Boyle (28:12.015)
Yeah, always.

Jill O'Boyle (28:18.385)
Right. Yep.

Stephanie Martino (28:20.084)
Well, granted, we're not gonna ask people like, tell me who you are at your core deep soul level, right? I mean, I get that, but that's just an example of how we immediately go to the things we do, our titles, our roles. And we I think somehow tend to equate our worth with what we do instead of like who we are, you know, and and and who we are

Jill O'Boyle (28:25.681)
All right.

Jill O'Boyle (28:35.27)
Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (28:41.339)
Mm-hmm. Two, yes.

Yeah. Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (28:49.9)
As a child of God, right? We don't have to like earn our worth. We are already worthy. and so you know, the roles and the titles that we carry, they are part of our story. Absolutely. And it's those roles that we're in that actually give us the experiences to become, you know, better people, whatever. But they're certainly not the whole story.

Jill O'Boyle (28:54.703)
Right? Right? Yeah. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (29:04.057)
Mm-hmm. yeah.

Stephanie Martino (29:18.102)
And so that when we focus on that, we do to I think tend to lose connection with, you know, who we are. And the thing is, roles change throughout life. You know, I, you know, you you and I both talk about purpose a lot. And one of the things that I've said is, you know, if somebody says their purpose is to be a doctor, right? That's my purpose in life. Okay. Well, what happens if you are no longer a doctor? You no longer have a purpose.

Jill O'Boyle (29:44.313)
Right. Right. Right. Right. Nope.

Stephanie Martino (29:48.687)
Right. And to me, that's like just the most the most straightforward example of how like your role, your title is not your purpose. You there is so much more to your purpose. Your role and your titles may be how you live out parts of your purpose, right? And who you are, but it is not, it is not the full story of who you are.

Jill O'Boyle (29:56.613)
Right. Right.

Jill O'Boyle (30:02.191)
Right. Right. Yeah. Yep.

Jill O'Boyle (30:10.053)
Yeah. And yeah. And our purpose is always followed by like how how do you show up to serve, right? I exist to serve God by, you know, say that say say the the doctor, right? It's not the role. Your purpose is not to be the doctor. Okay, but what about you did God bring you into that, into that career, right?

Stephanie Martino (30:23.788)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (30:33.999)
the way that you nurture and care for others, right? The way that you equip others with healing and well whatever. But yeah. no, that's such a good example. Because I do think people tend to hear purpose and they think it's some big role or thing. Like or or they they think I don't have a purpose because I'm not I'm not singing on stages like or

Stephanie Martino (31:00.49)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (31:00.985)
I'm not I don't I'm not creative enough to have a purpose, right? Like, yeah, it's something so big and grand. And I'm like, no, it's really the little things. And what you just said, it's like all of those, as much as I can talk about corporate and being burned out, like I was placed in that season of my life, right? Because he was building some character, some lessons, some experiences that I had to learn, right? You know, that is all along part of my journey.

in of in my purpose. And even when I was in corporate, I still had purpose there. Right. It's that gifting that I have, that, you know, bringing light to others, that gift of discernment, like r really sitting with people and like listening and guiding them and you know, bringing, you know, light into a dark spot in their life of like, you know, I'm always usually positive before negative. Like it's just my nature, right? Like not everybody's like that.

Right. You know, I'm like, why wouldn't everybody be like that? Well, we're all wired differently. So yeah.

Stephanie Martino (32:02.446)
Absolutely. And God uses our unique personalities, experiences, everything for different purposes. So yeah, like if just because someone's not like you or not like me doesn't mean they don't have a purpose. They're perse purpose completely completely different based on who they are, right? Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (32:10.97)
Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (32:19.194)
Yeah. Yeah. No, so good. Okay, so to circle back to this phrase that we started with, there has to be more to life than this. So based on what we both experienced, we both experienced this in a roundabout way. so it kind of comes down to like, what if this feeling isn't really a problem, right? Because I think when I was saying it, I was like, I felt like I was there was a problem in my life. Like

I was probably not like we if we go back to the doing, there has to be more to life than this. Like I think in that immediate statement, I was thinking, I'm not doing enough. Like clearly I'm missing something. Everybody has figured this out. Everybody has this grand life. They're doing everything just fine. And yet over here I am working till midnight. I am completely burned out.

I'm losing myself. I have no idea what fun is anymore. I'm completely stressed out. I get up, it's Groundhog's Day every single day. Like I'm the problem. Something's wrong, right? And so I think what I hear from us is like maybe it's not so much that feeling isn't wasn't the problem, right? Like there was something that was, you know, A, we know that that's God now.

But there was something that anchors us. There was a deeper con there was something that was nudging us to that more, you know, not more work, not more busyness, not more hustle. It was this nudge to more, meaning like more meaning, more connection, more purpose with our life. Like there was like this void of like, at the end of the day, and I think I did eventually get there because I remember one time literally writing that down in a journal and thinking,

I mean, at the end of the day, like, I don't want to be known for making a great trade show booth. Like, like, I can pull off a great trade show booth and I can event manage the heck out of it. And I can make sure every single one of my clients is so happy. And when they're frustrated, I can make them smile, even when they're unhappy, because that's my gifting. But at the end of the day, I don't want to be known for just making a great trade show booth and doing a really good job in my job.

Jill O'Boyle (34:36.582)
And so that was it, right? It was like, okay, what am I? Why do I matter? Why am I here? What is the purpose that God has for me? and so I just think that that is the phrase, right? There has to be more than life that people might be, if you found yourself saying it, I would say lean into that. that feeling that something is missing is really actually trying to tell you something. It is a gift. it's such a gift. That's a great word.

Yeah, it's a it's a gift of like God trying to like shake you, like and wake wake you up. and don't ignore that feeling. Like we talked about that. Like why do women just kind of push that away and not admit like, you know, for fear of like, well, I'm gonna sound selfish or I'm gonna sound like, you know, I'm just not happy with where I ever am. Like don't ignore that feeling because I don't think it's

Stephanie Martino (35:06.446)
Absolutely. Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (35:32.901)
If you're thinking that way, right, you're probably still thinking in the mindset that maybe I was at one point thinking, like, you know, mindset of success equals more, like I'm just not doing enough or I that I haven't figured it out like everybody else. And God is saying, like nudging you, like, no, no, no, no, no, put down all the doing, all the busyness, all the hustle, like surrender this to me. And there you will find peace and joy and fulfillment and you know, love and kind, like all these things, like he will get he will give you.

so thoughts on that.

Stephanie Martino (36:04.098)
Yeah. Yeah. I what I guess is just really hitting me that it's not like it's like you started off saying like we may feel like it's a problem that we're feeling that way, but actually it's an answer. It is and like I said, a gift because if you really think about it, the fact that we would have something causing us to feel like there is more.

Jill O'Boyle (36:12.978)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (36:16.944)
Yeah, it is.

Stephanie Martino (36:34.134)
That is a I feel like a privilege. Right? That we're not just going through the motions and satisfied with just status quo and like the that God has something more for me. God has something more for me. That can be really humbling if when you think about it. that yeah, like little old me.

Jill O'Boyle (36:37.362)
Mm.

Settling.

Jill O'Boyle (36:49.051)
Yeah, wow.

Jill O'Boyle (36:54.13)
Mm. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (37:01.829)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Martino (37:02.882)
Something more for me. Not and that doesn't make me great. That doesn't make me special, you know, or better than anybody else. Because the thing is, I'm not the only one he has more for. He has more for all of us. And I think we all just get these, these nudges or these like the these experiences in our life at different times when we're ready, right? God's timing. the first 20 years of my career was not the time. That was like you said,

Jill O'Boyle (37:15.388)
Right. Right? Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (37:25.618)
Right.

Jill O'Boyle (37:30.0)
Hello.

Stephanie Martino (37:31.578)
going through that experience for other things like learning. I had to like build some skills and whatever. so yeah, it's like whenever is your time, think of it as a good it's a good thing. It's not, it's not a problem. It's not a bad thing.

Jill O'Boyle (37:37.254)
Yep, yep.

Jill O'Boyle (37:46.631)
Yes, I completely agree. And I just, you know, I feel like sometimes when I'm when I when I am starting to just start to be busy or moving, one of the words that I tend to hear God say, or if I'm like listening to maybe a podcast or something like or scripture, like right before something, I always hear God say, pay attention.

It's so crazy because he knows that that's the cool thing about our God. It's like he knows you. He knows you. He knows how to get your attention. So when I say pay attention, it's like the student in me and the performers like, what I need to be paying attention. I just I was just snoo I was snoozing through life and I need to pay attention. and so I think for women listening right now, I you know, like pay attention to those nudges that God, if you are hearing that and you're feeling that and you're feeling that nudge, like, like.

Pay attention, don't just like brush it aside and go through and push, you know, thinking that you need to strive more or do more, you know, to get this more feeling. I'd say pay attention and slow down. Like slowing down for me was not something that was very easy for me to do. But I will tell you, it was the only way. The only way.

that I was able to change my life. And when I say I, that God was able to change my life. because my mentality, my mindset, everything about me. my mom said from the day when I was little, my grandparents used to say that that girl's gonna be a runner, which I think it's kind of funny because d I like to go out for a run, but it is not something I like enjoy. But like I from the time I learned how to walk, I didn't walk, my parents said, I ran everywhere I run.

in corporate, people would laugh because they would be like hearing those stomping feats, and he's like, Here she comes. Like, I'm always on a mission, I'm always on a mindset. I'm go, go, go, go, go, go, go, until finally I couldn't go no more. And God really, really sat me down in this blue chair behind me. And I had to surrender. And he said, Are you ready to pay attention now? I have been trying to get your attention, but

Stephanie Martino (39:54.307)
Right.

Jill O'Boyle (40:08.262)
So I know that the women listening to this podcast, like, they resonate with that because they're high achievers. They go, go, go. They're they you've gotten to where you are today because, hey, I'm not gonna lie, there's a there's a point where hustle works really, really well until it doesn't, right? And then there's gonna be a pain that you cannot like avoid. And I know that because I felt that really, really strongly. and if I would have kept pushing past the pay attention, the pushing past the nudges.

I would have missed the glory of what God wanted to do in and through my life. and so Steph, I know like me and you relate on so many things. Like, what is your advice too on that? I know you have some advice on like, you know, what happens when women just continue to push and strive and and hustle their way through life versus stopping to pay attention.

Stephanie Martino (40:57.228)
Hmm, gosh. I think you know, awareness is the first key, right? Like noticing that you're doing it. and do not feel shame about it. I think a lot of times we ignore things, we don't want to acknowledge things because it makes us feel bad, right? To admit that we're a certain way. so we're just like, you know, like the bird that sticks their head in the sand. Was the ostrich like

Jill O'Boyle (41:04.198)
Yeah. Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (41:11.226)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (41:17.474)
Mm, yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (41:23.578)
Yeah, yeah, yes. Yep.

Stephanie Martino (41:26.51)
Not gonna look. I'm just not gonna look. but it's still there. Just because you're ignoring it doesn't mean it goes away. So the sooner we can acknowledge it, the better. so I think just acknowledging it and then reminding yourself, you know what? Okay, I'm human. I'm human, I'm doing my human thing just like everybody else is doing their human thing. And there is an opportunity for me to do something different. so I think that's just the the first piece.

Jill O'Boyle (41:35.792)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (41:40.316)
Yeah, yes.

Jill O'Boyle (41:47.43)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (41:53.242)
Yeah. Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (41:53.847)
And then, like you said, just slowing down. And I know that that is so hard for some women because they don't know what to do with themselves. If they slow down, right? Or you feel like you're being lazy. so many things. I gotta do this. I gotta do this. Mm-hmm. But I think a lot of times the busyness is another way we are hiding.

Jill O'Boyle (42:01.041)
Yeah. No, we don't. Yeah. Yep. Mm hmm. that's a big one.

Jill O'Boyle (42:14.768)
Yeah. yeah. Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (42:16.482)
Yeah. Cause we don't we don't want to we don't want to think about these things. Cause I don't know that sounds like work and I don't know what I'm gonna that just seems so uncomfortable and I don't I don't wanna do that. So let me just keep go, go, go, go.

Jill O'Boyle (42:20.892)
Yep. Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (42:29.808)
Yeah. That and I think too, like the busyness of just staying busy. Yes, it avoids us sitting down and and confronting ourselves with the things that we don't want to hear, like you said. I also think, and sometimes my mindset still I have to like check myself. My mindset with the busyness and the distractions and the hustle is like, no, I have to get all of this done to get here. Like our to have this huge breakthrough to like

Finally like make it right. It's like I feel like I have to have all this pressure to do this stuff. And it's like I can I can hear the women right now by nodding, like especially women in corporate, like you don't understand. Like I have all of the stuff to do to reach VP or to do here, to get to here, like to finally make it. Like you don't know my corporate, my culture, like we have to get all of this stuff done.

And so I want to bring that up because you showed a video one time to me that was like where we think like we're in this, you know, season of like dormant or whatever, and we're like ready for our breakthrough. And you shared something with me. And I was like, this is so good because I relate everything to plants and baseball fields usually for my analogy. But you shared with me, and I want you to like, I know we don't have the video, but talk to me, talk to these women about the analogy of like a seed when you plant it and like.

What that seed's doing under there. It's not busy. It's not hustling. What's it doing? Like Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (44:02.912)
same way. I I mean I don't talk about baseball, but plants is such a and I don't have a green thumb so I find it kind of funny that I talk about plants. But there's so much that resonates with like how our life works. and so yeah this video was really powerful. So it was showed it had like a clear glass where you could see what was going on underneath in the dirt, right? So it showed a seed being planted in the dirt. And it was a time lapse video. So you know over weeks or whatever or days.

Jill O'Boyle (44:12.796)
Right.

Jill O'Boyle (44:24.998)
Yeah. Right.

Stephanie Martino (44:32.768)
So the first thing that's happening is that seed is sprouting something and it's going deeper in the dirt. Deeper underneath. There's no breakthrough. It's going deeper in the dark. And it that has to happen though, in order for when it actually sprouts above ground for it to not fall over, right?

Jill O'Boyle (44:39.282)
Mm-hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (44:57.52)
Right. It's being prepared, right? Yeah. Seasoned.

Stephanie Martino (45:02.05)
The roots have to be grown and they have to be built and they have to be strong. They have to be anchored, rooted, in order for that plant to actually grow strong and to produce fruit and to make it, you know, to do all the things that God designed that seed to turn into. And we're the same way, right? Like sometimes we feel like we're just like in the dirt. This

Jill O'Boyle (45:09.425)
Right.

Jill O'Boyle (45:12.913)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (45:22.191)
Mm.

Stephanie Martino (45:29.376)
It's just I'm hidden. It's dark. I don't know what's going on. This is so uncomfortable. That has to happen before we sprout, before we have our breakthrough. Because if we have our breakthrough too early, right? If we sprout too early, we're not gonna be able to withstand the storms, the storms of life, the winds that are gonna come, it's gonna knock us over. but we're impatient, you know, and I don't wanna wait for my roots.

Jill O'Boyle (45:52.53)
Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (45:57.325)
I'm feeling I honestly feel like, okay, aren't my roots good now? Can we go ahead and just break their roots have had a lot of time and sometimes it feels that way. But again, God's timing. He knows. And when we I heard something this morning on a video, and it was a pastor talking, and he said something like, When we worry, and so I think that some of this does come down to worry.

Jill O'Boyle (46:03.631)
Right? my god.

Jill O'Boyle (46:12.028)
He does.

Stephanie Martino (46:24.152)
We're doing all these things. I feel like I gotta do that this, I gotta do this, because otherwise I'm not going to. We're worried about whether we're going to achieve this thing right or our goals. And he said, When we worry, we're basically telling God, I don't trust that you can handle this.

Jill O'Boyle (46:32.508)
Right.

Jill O'Boyle (46:39.41)
Yep. Yep.

Stephanie Martino (46:41.112)
I mean that hit that hit me because we were as humans, we worry. and thank God, you know, like he understands that and he gives us grace, but I think we have to remind ourselves. I don't have to do all these things. I don't have to make myself crazy doing all this stuff to achieve because you know what? God I can trust that God is going to.

Jill O'Boyle (46:43.034)
It does.

Jill O'Boyle (46:47.11)
We do. Yep. Yep.

Jill O'Boyle (46:54.042)
Mm.

Jill O'Boyle (46:57.607)
Right.

Stephanie Martino (47:09.044)
lead me along the path. And sometimes that path feels slow. But that is where it's going to be a stronger result in the end because I'm not rushing. yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (47:13.884)
Right? Long.

Jill O'Boyle (47:21.894)
Yeah. Yeah. that's so it's it's so good. It's it's I'll have to share that reel again of this of the mustard seed because it does just give a visual of like our if we think about ourselves as a seed in that dirt and you're right, it doesn't get planted and then grow up. It actually get builds roots and it goes down and down into more darkness, into more soil. but all while it's doing that, it's it's getting nurtured, watered.

Poured into, which is what our heavenly father is doing to us. So it's like he gives you maybe a vision. And you know, we talk about this in rooted in real coaching too. You know, I use Joseph's story in the Bible of like Joseph had a dream. God gave him this dream at like 17 years old, right? And he had to go through all of the suffering and all of this crap, you know, but in the crap, in the suffering, God was still using him, and Joseph was still showing up in his gifting.

Right. And so because he kept showing up in the pit, in the crap places that that he was in, he didn't let that be like, whoa is me. This is terrible. I suck. No, he like showed up. He still did what great Joseph does and like showed up in his character and his humility and his kindness. sh help people interpret dreams, right? Which is what his gifting was. And then, right, like after his brothers, you know, betrayed him, after they sold him into slavery, after

Like he went to prison. Like every season of that suffering, he was still, God was still using him to then go on and save an entire nation. And his dream came true. And you know, that seed analogy, when you share that with him, like that's exactly what's happening. It's like you go through all of this darkness, all this pit, all this dirt, all this crommy crap. And you could sit there and you could think,

life is great for everybody else, but you're s you're being builded, you're being molded, you're being what we're gonna talk about, a rooted in real retreat. Like you're being rooted because God's still using you and and in those moments and in those spaces, continue to show up being real and just how He created you to be. because for such a time as this, right? That, you know, you go back to the plant, it's gonna rise up, it's going to bloom and you're going to bloom and like

Stephanie Martino (49:19.702)
Okay.

Jill O'Boyle (49:48.059)
I could just stay on that topic. We're gonna do a whole nother episode just on that topic alone. Because I just think I feel that tremendously. And I feel, you know, that's kind of like really rooted and real became part of that. God just kept those two words, rooted and real, just kept showing up over and over and over in my journaling. and it's you know, why I'm so so passionate about helping people understand like every

Stephanie Martino (49:50.467)
Thanks.

Jill O'Boyle (50:17.904)
season of your life has purpose and meaning and you're building all of that and you're going to, you know, rise up. But if you see keep having an ego, if you keep having this pride take over, if you keep wanting to run your life with control, which I, you know, was in and still it's a thing that I have to check myself, right? one of the base acronyms I heard was if you live with an ego means edging God out, right?

Like that's just your ego is just edging God out. You're gonna, you know, say, Okay, God, I can control this. Like you were talking about worrying. Like, we're edging God out by worrying because he says, No, no, no, I have plans to prosper you, give you hope and a new future. so anyway, like I already just think about, you know, all of that story to say, you know, I remember twenty I think it was two thousand eighteen, in my middle of my pit, my rock bottom moment.

And literally wondering what way I should go. And still, you know, after I had prayed and I had surrendered to God because I had said, you know, God, I don't know what I'm doing. I am in a mess of my life right now. And that night I went to bed and I finally slept. And I hadn't slept for for months on end. and I had a dream too, just like you know, Joseph. And that dream that I had.

was nothing more than a big black chalkboard, but with big, big white letters it said trust.

Stephanie Martino (51:54.158)
Hmm. Hmm.

Jill O'Boyle (51:56.423)
And that was 2018. And I woke up and I knew exactly what I wanted to do at that point in time. I had separated from my husband. We were going through a lot of stuff. I was deep in burnout in my work. I didn't know what direction I was going, but I felt that pull that we said that there has to be more to life than this. and I originally had taken that statement.

To the end of pushing and harding and trying harder. but it was in that moment when I woke up to that dream that I knew that God had something more for me. And he was asking me to just lean in and just trust him in that. And it's 2026, right? And so I say that like I am still trusting. And for four years after that dream, I was still like, what am I doing? I was still in corporate, I was still going through the motions, I was still trying to help.

create healthy boundaries. and then four years later I started, you know, my coaching business and like, but even now I'm still leaning into like, okay, God, like, it's been a long time. Like I relate to Joseph. I'm like, you know. but he keeps guiding me and I keep, you know, trusting him and like, and here we come, like end of the this fall will be rooted in real, right? The retreat. And I just know that I know that I know that I know.

Even with some of the worry and fear and doubt and all the questions and all the things that I think I need to plant, right? God's gonna do something really, really magical in that space. So and I know you're gonna be a part of that. So I don't know. I'm just excited about rooted in real and what the women are gonna, you know, really experience, you know, in that retreat. I'm excited, Steph, that you're gonna come along and

Stephanie Martino (53:32.226)
Yes. Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (53:46.125)
Yeah, I you know, it's it's one of those things when you we talked about trust. that's such a hard word because there that also means we don't know what's going to happen. I mean, we can trust that God will do something, but we don't know what that something is. Right. So, and that's something I've always struggled with. I like certainty. I like to know, I like a good plan, I like a good agenda, I like to know.

Jill O'Boyle (53:57.649)
Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Jill O'Boyle (54:05.318)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Yep. Yep.

Stephanie Martino (54:16.022)
What's going on? And trust requires me to release my own control or desire for that certainty and just know that God's gonna lead me. And I that and trust is like every day, every moment. It's not a like, okay, I'll trust. I'm done. No, it's continual, right? And

Jill O'Boyle (54:35.11)
Right, right. It's yes, it is. It is. And you yeah. And you have to give yourself, you know, space, like to just slow down. Right. Like, I mean, literally, like when I've had people ask me of like, you know, what what is rooted in real? Why did you create that space that space? It's like, cause I I'm creating it because I know that there are women just like me and you, Steph, that have been going through life

Stephanie Martino (54:48.002)
Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (55:04.954)
you know, controlling and checking the boxes, doing all of these things. And on the outside, their life player looks really great. So did mine. Right. But internally I was exhausted. I was disconnected. Like that phrase, there has to be more to the life just kept coming up. There was this pull for something more, which we know now. That's God nudging us to say, Hey, create space for me. Hey, let me have a little bit of that margin. Can I can I come in there for a minute and talk to you? Right.

And so, you know, the I just know that that creating that space for me when I sat down in that blue chair and finally opened it, the surrender to God. you know, it's what changed my life. And I want other women to like be able to experience that, the ones that are doing all of the things, checking all the boxes, appearing like you're holding it all together, but quietly, you know, inside, like you are so longing for more peace. You're longing for more purpose. You want more.

connection, like authentic connections. That's what I'm so excited about. Also Rooted in Real is like these women that are coming together are all on the same mission. And we want to be connected, like real connection where we can take our mask off and say, hey, let's be real. Not the I'm fine. Everything's great, right? Yeah. So I think that's what like really Rooted in Real is gonna do. It's gonna give women space to just unplug from like the noise, like re reconnect with yourself, with God.

Like build those meaningful relationships and friendships with other women. Like that's how Stephanie and I got connected. Like literally, like God knows your people. And so that's what's so cool. Like somebody introduced me to Stephanie and he knew I was longing for a friendship of somebody that gets me, that sees me, that can go deep with me. And so if you've been longing for a friendship like that, you're gonna find that girl because God always knows. He always puts you in the right place at the right time with the right people. So that's

super encouraging. that, you know, if you're looking for that and you relate to everything, you know, then give yourself permission to like come home to yourself. Like come to rooted and real. Like be start to think about who are you becoming, right? What Pastor Darren always says, who you're becoming is more important than what you're doing. Like who are you becoming? Who do you want to become?

Jill O'Boyle (57:24.13)
start to become deeply rooted in who God says you are, instead of who the world expects you to be. Like the world will tell you who you should be. But God knows you, He sees you, He formed you in your mother's womb. Like He knows, He has a purpose and a plan for you. So start to take time to give Him margin in your day to say, God, who do you say I am? Who am I beyond all my roles and my titles and my accomplishments and my achievements? Like

That's what you're gonna find at Root and Real. Like it's gonna be so powerful because you're gonna finally walk into a space where you don't have to be afraid. Like these are gonna be your women, where you can just let go of the mask, the perfection, the performance, the pretending. Like we're gonna, you're gonna see Steph and I being crazy dancing because I love to do crazy dancing and I love me some music, right, girl?

Stephanie Martino (58:19.33)
Biba the entertainment, right? Hopefully some others will get up and dance with us. We'll see if it's

Jill O'Boyle (58:21.298)
my gosh.

Maybe Stephanie will bring her nineteen eighties workout. I don't even know what you call that thing.

Stephanie Martino (58:30.899)
Who played? I don't know.

to find something else. you know one thing I I want to say that's really like coming to me very strongly right now is that and I I certainly hope that if women have been listening to this conversation and other you know your other podcasts and just like seen what you do and everything this this retreat is not like just a little vacation right God

Jill O'Boyle (58:38.204)
My gosh. my god.

Stephanie Martino (59:06.05)
God is leading you on a journey to hold this retreat. Why would God do that if He didn't have a plan to meet with the women that are going to be there? I mean, to me, that gives such reassurance that I don't have to worry about, like, is this just gonna be like a waste of my time, or is this just gonna be like, no, like if I allow myself to

Jill O'Boyle (59:12.678)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (59:33.959)
Yeah.

Stephanie Martino (59:35.457)
experience and just be there and trust and open my mind to what God has for me, that He will meet me. So if someone is thinking that, right? Like this is not just the vacation. It's yes, it's going to be fun. It's going to be restful. It's going to relaxing, but it's so much more than that because God has more for every person that's going to be there. And if they allow themselves to come and to be in community and to just hear from God, He will speak

Jill O'Boyle (59:47.38)
yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (59:56.7)
Yes.

Stephanie Martino (01:00:04.632)
To them. He will give them something that maybe they didn't even need to know. And we have to give ourselves that chance to get away from our daily life, our daily grind, and put ourselves in a position where he can do that. And I had a recent experience of this myself. I went to a silent retreat here locally. And I will say again, I like

Jill O'Boyle (01:00:05.862)
Yes.

Jill O'Boyle (01:00:25.074)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Martino (01:00:27.916)
I like to know what's going on. And I originally had a list of things I was taking that I was gonna be like, all right, God, we're gonna be talking about these things at the silent retreat. I had a folder that I was putting things in. And I of course I did. But g you know, a few days leading up to it, I just really felt God saying, Don't have expectations. Just go and see what I will tell you. And he spoke to me in very profound ways.

Jill O'Boyle (01:00:40.026)
Ha.

Course you did.

Stephanie Martino (01:00:57.664)
About things that I was not that wasn't on my agenda.

Jill O'Boyle (01:01:01.938)
So God.

Stephanie Martino (01:01:02.552)
But if I had not given myself that chance to go and to listen and to be, I wouldn't have had that experience. So I just say that. I just that's just really it was just very strong on my heart to say that to clarify this is not, this is so pray about it. Like if someone is like, I think that maybe this is for me, pray about it. And if this is what God wants for you and you know that, go. Obey. Obey what He's telling you to do. Yes, give yourself that chance and see what

Jill O'Boyle (01:01:20.86)
Please.

Yeah.

Obey. Be obedient. Yeah. Yeah. Even if it doesn't make sense, even if you feel like you have kid sports going on, even if you're like, I don't have that money right now. We have payment options. So, you know, I love that. I think, you know, if you landed here today, maybe it wasn't a coincidence, right? What is, you know, quiet yourself right now and say, what is God speaking to you?

Stephanie Martino (01:01:35.672)
Yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (01:01:56.349)
You know, maybe, just maybe, you landed here today because God is trying to get your attention.

So ask him, Lord, what are you speaking? What are you saying? and then do what he says to do. Don't overthink, don't overanalyze, don't question. That's what the typical, right, high achiever mind will do. But just say, Lord, okay, I hear you and do whatever he says to do. and maybe that's just the best, you know, closing question for this podcast. It's like, what is one thing?

That you can do this week just to create space and margin to listen, to slow down, to quiet the noise, to hear God. You know, stop edging him out. He wants to talk to you. He wants to speak to you. He has more for you. If you keep hearing there has to be more to life than this, like I kept hearing, he has so much more for you.

So much more. I just had to finally sit my butt down and actually listen and not do what Jill wanted to do. Right? So what's one thing you can do this week to create space to just listen to God? Think about that, you know, and pay attention and see what he says to you. Steph, any final thoughts?

Stephanie Martino (01:03:28.842)
gosh, this has just been so good. I I just my prayer is that the women that hear this, that it will speak to them, that something will have stood out to them, be just what they needed to hear, and that they will give themselves the opportunity to put them in an environment where they can gain more of this, more encouragement with like-minded women that pray and that are seeking God and are wanting to encourage other women in their own life and the way God's calling them or calling them.

so yeah, I just I just pray that it meets women where they where they need to be met. And I'm trusting that he is going to bring the women to this retreat that he has in mind to be there. And I am expecting amazing things from it.

Jill O'Boyle (01:04:15.428)
Yeah. Yep. Abs absolutely. So ladies, we hope this met you right where you are. You've heard us talk about so many things. you know, of just making space and time and slowing down and the hustle. You've heard us talk about rooted in real. if we didn't mention it before, rooted in real retreat is happening October 2nd-4th, the fourth, 2026 so this fall in Red River Gorge.

Kentucky, I will just tell you, the views alone will probably sell you because you are going to basically be surrounded by 50 acres of nature, mountain views. It's a luxury glamping retreat, you guys. So yeah, if you're like camping is not for me, guess what? These tents have hardwood floors, rugs, little lamps, little Keurig machine, a bed. So we're glamping.

We're glamping. I'm not a camper either. We're glamping and you can walk out on your balcony and have just the beauty of God's creation at your fingertips. nothing rest starts before 10 a.m. because we want this retreat to actually be your retreat, your way. So the morning is yours to just like get up and, you know, go go on a little excursion, take a little hike, sleep in. Man, if you have kids that wake you up.

Stephanie Martino (01:05:13.132)
yeah.

Jill O'Boyle (01:05:40.848)
you know, all the time, you don't have them there. So sleep in, you know, grab coffee with a friend, whatever you want to do. So, the the retreat is really gonna be like Stephanie said, not just a vacation. It is gonna be a vacation for your soul. but you are going to be poured into like you've never been poured into before and you deserve it. You deserve to invest in yourself and give yourself that time away. And so we know that

God is gonna bring us the women and we're gonna be connected with just women that we know that God is is calling. So all right, my friend, thank you so much for joining me again on the podcast and being my co-host for Rooted and Real. We're gonna have such a great time. So I'm excited.

Stephanie Martino (01:06:32.184)
So thank you so much. This was so much fun. Let's do it again. Okay.

Jill O'Boyle (01:06:34.736)
Yeah. we will. Of course. All right. All right, ladies, listeners, thank you so much for tuning in. As always, go out, make it a great day. Be you, love life, and continue to just keep rising up. Until next time. Bye.