Deconstructing Mamas
If you are trying to figure out how to navigate the tricky tightrope of parenting while you have questions, doubts and wonderings about your spiritual journey, this podcast is for you. It doesn't matter if your kids are smalls, middles, or bigs. We will explore what and how we are deconstructing from churchianity, harmful belief systems, and diving deep into the ways we can work this out in parenthood. We will also work through ideas for reconstructing a space for our families to thrive under new systems of love and freedom. We can't wait to bring you some hope that you are not alone and that it's really okay, even good, to explore all the possibilities that may have felt closed off in the past. This podcast will offer you grace and space to be exactly where you are and who you are. We are glad you are here.
Deconstructing Mamas
Rebellion or Integrity? - Jamin Coller
'''Diligent study is precisely what got us here." Jamin Coller
Our episode this week is with Jamin Coller, dad of six, podcaster and author of Dear Evangelicals.
Our conversation is passionate, funny and so very eye-opening.
We chat through these questions:
1. Your book, Dear Evangelicals, frames deconstruction not as rebellion, but as a painful act of integrity after "stumbling upon information we didn't want." How can parents reframe their children's deconstruction as integrity, not betrayal? How can we help both deconstructionists and their former communities reframe this process as an act of integrity rather than betrayal — especially in the context of parenting?
2. You write “We believed it when we were told all questions were welcomed.” What impact does it have on a child’s development when questions are only welcome until they cross an invisible line? And how can parents make space for the kind of questioning that once got them scorned?
3. You state that the first wave of shame comes from the community, but the harder wave is internal — “the shame of having shelved obvious red flags for so long.” How do we process that internal shame, and what does it look like to parent from a place of healing rather than guilt?
4. The book describes former church members instinctively seeking new spaces to preserve their faith, even after painful exits. What does this tell us about the human longing for spiritual belonging, and how do we model that search honestly for our kids?
5. How did diligent study get you “here”? Also, for those of us who were once taught that information was dangerous, how do we now encourage our children to stay curious and think critically without fearing where it might lead?
6. You have said that many of us try not to think — because we fear losing our salvation — and try not to speak — because we fear losing our friends. How did this play out for you personally and how do we raise children to value honesty and connection when so many of us were taught to protect belonging at the expense of our inner truth?
7. If you could tell your kids one thing for their life journey, what would it be and why?
We found Jamin compassionate, wise and funny. If you are wondering how you got to this place of deconstructing your faith, this is the episode for you.
You can find Jamin here:
Website: jamincoller.com
Instagram: @dear_evangelicals and @jamincoller