The Heavyweight Podcast
Welcome to *The Heavyweight Podcast*, where every week, a dynamic group of four—“this lady and these three guys”—come together to discuss a wide range of topics that both warm the heart and nourish the soul. The Heavyweight Podcast brings together four unique individuals, each with their own perspective, to engage in open and honest conversations about real-life situations. Whether you're in need of a good laugh to release some tension or you're seeking real answers to life’s tough questions, tune in to *The Heavyweight Podcast*. Whatever you're looking for, you’ll find it here.
The Heavyweight Podcast
Laugh First, Heal Later
This week, we talk about what it means to carry emotional weight as dads, sons, and partners. Between laughter and reflection, we get into therapy, grief, presence, and the pressure to lead while holding everything in.
We share tools that work—from finding the right therapist to creating calm for your kids—and tell the truth about what happens when you lose someone who shaped your world. If you’re trying to heal without losing yourself, this episode will feel familiar and grounding.
Thanks for tapping in with The Heavyweight Podcast.
Make sure you follow, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this convo. Catch us on all socials for clips, updates, and more behind the mic. https://linktr.ee/TheHeavyweightPodcast
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.
SPEAKER_00:The message behind the saying, the title of the Heavyweight Podcast is to be able to say that we can we can weigh up some heavy shit. What we're talking about is important from every aspect of it. It's a heavy weight. It's not just about physical weight, but the weight of things that that can weigh our minds. So I think it's dope that we can have this conversation.
SPEAKER_01:A fucking fandom, like cult type shit. Yeah, I remember one girl. Crazy like, yeah, I just gotta, I'm like, that sounds like you need like Dr. Pepper's anonymous. Yeah. I used to be that way, Kevin. With Dr. Pepper? I'm telling you. In my early 20s, my game, in my hardcore gaming years, nigga, in the lab with Dr. Pepper. Cold red fucking that shit up. Drinking probably two liters a day. That's back when a two-liter was a dollar. Remember that shit? That's how old I am. Nah, I don't. No, kidding.
SPEAKER_00:Back when grass was grass.
SPEAKER_01:Now you can't even get a fucking two-liter for.
SPEAKER_00:I remember back when dime bags used to cost a dime. Know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01:I'm glad I did drive it like 16. Because like five dollars did mean something sometimes. I'll give you five dollars. You're like, you know what? 220, that'll give me that'll give me like now it's an insult.
SPEAKER_00:Nigga, hey, I'll give you five dollars if you drive me over here. Oh nigga! Like.
SPEAKER_01:It's 222, right? Is it?
SPEAKER_00:I believe it's 222. I'm over here. I'm over here. I was way off because nigga, I put 220. Let me let me make sure. Because I put 220 on the I'm on three. Because I thought for some reason the last episode was 219.
SPEAKER_01:No, we should.
SPEAKER_00:We're not recording, right?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, we are.
SPEAKER_00:Ah well. Welcome to movie magic. Welcome to movie fucking magic. Oh, you're right. God damn, I was way off. I know it started with the two, though.
SPEAKER_01:I dig that.
SPEAKER_00:Two girls, one cup.
SPEAKER_01:That was a good one. I never watched that.
SPEAKER_00:There was supposedly a rumor going around that that shit wasn't real. Oh, it was like the supposedly they they played the whole uh illusion that it was one thing and it was actually something else.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, they say it was like ice cream or yogurt or some shit. Yeah. It was kind of running. It's supposed to be doo-doo. Yeah. Oh, that's probably why I didn't watch it. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But it did disappear, it was scrubbed off the internet somehow.
SPEAKER_01:It's not my brain. I remember if we took that off?
SPEAKER_00:Right. Was it still was it still in your brain because you were oddly intrigued by it?
SPEAKER_01:Because I got set up.
SPEAKER_00:Oh.
SPEAKER_01:I got I got one of the uh click this link type shits.
SPEAKER_00:I watched it, so I clicked the link. Did you did you stop watching or did you stop watching? Are you sure? It was my cousin that sent it to me. Did he keep watching?
SPEAKER_01:He hadn't he hadn't moved the one. What was uh what was the one with the dude with the jar? The one jar? One guy, one jar? Nah, that one's bad, but like I responded. I responded wrong because I laughed, because it's like it broke. And then you're like, well, that's what you get. Like, why are you doing that?
SPEAKER_02:That's exactly what you get.
SPEAKER_01:I have no words. I I don't know. I don't know what that video is. I don't I don't want to know what it is. Yeah, you don't. I don't. Yeah. You're like, damn. But you know, we we had Rodden.com, so we've seen some fucked up shit. Well, it's way worse now. But you gotta look for it now. Not hard. We didn't have to look for it.
SPEAKER_00:I think the thing that got me the most about that video when I when I when I initially came across it was the fact that I was like, people will do anything for money. Yeah, fuck yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, Kim slept with Ray J.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, at that time a lot of women slept with Ray J. That's true.
SPEAKER_01:I don't want no problem with J. I think they still, yeah. Never mind, you're right. No problems with Ray J. No problem right there. Hamdu Allah.
SPEAKER_00:Sorry, I guess.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I think we we're rolling. You know, I do. We just live.
SPEAKER_00:It's been a minute a little rusty. I mean, this is usually Dez job, but you know, she couldn't be here today, so let me what's good? This is episode 222 of the heavyweight podcast. I am your anti-social host for the moment, Study McFly, back again with these two guys. Go ahead and state your name to the beautiful people out. Cheer.
SPEAKER_01:Kevin Ellis. It's just Mo. Letho. Mo Lethal. Just Mo Let. Mo Lethal. Oh, wait, and the Lethal. How were your weeks? You know, my week was grand and bad all at the same time. But you know, that's life, the full spectrum. That's what it was. Got hit hit from both ends, huh? Yep. Yep. Pause. I think that's a pause. Or the human centipede. That's a whoa pause. That is a that is a terrible movie. I don't think I watched that one. Yeah. Music had to do with Fucking Eric Coates.
SPEAKER_00:Doo-Doo.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, who's that? It was my supervisor at the time, and I was like on this thing where- Yeah, because I was on this run where I would tell people, hey, you know, a dope movie you should watch is this, right? So I was telling him about something, and he goes, Hey man, watch the human centipede. Thank me later. I said, Nah. Oh, it's one of those. Yeah, and I watched that shit. I said, Fuck you, Eric. You ever watch part two? No. I why would I watch part two? Part two is worse. I don't want to no, I don't want to see that shit. I just know all he said afterwards, he was like, Thank me, letter, and nobody wants to be B. I said, wait, what? He says, Trust me, nobody wants to be B.
SPEAKER_01:Nobody wants to be B? Coming and going. In part two, he also has a uh uh a woman he's like over purposely overfeeding. Nah. Never, yeah. One's due. Anyway, let's get on. We'll move on for that. How are you weeks? Uh again, uh, I don't now I don't even want to describe it that way. You're taking it, you're taking it from both ends.
SPEAKER_02:You're taking it from both ends.
SPEAKER_01:The circle of life. He just wants to insert that in, pause. We had a good time. I mean, went out to AZ, had a little party. That was fun. That's what's up. So, you know.
SPEAKER_00:How many black people were there?
SPEAKER_01:It was there's a few, quite a few. It was funny because they decided to take a picture. They were like, We're gonna take a picture with all the black people here. And I was like, I'll go, but this is odd. This is odd. Like, no, it's this is a pretty big group, but I'm just like, nigga, we know these people. You know they know niggas. Like, what do we do? Oh, we know niggas. So that was fun. That was fun. It was good. Could see some old friends and you know, hang out. That's what always an adventure. Let's just say that. Well, it was cool. Uh Halloween was uh nice. Uh ate a lot of brisket. I was I was I was sneaking brisket. How do you sneak it if it's up for grabs? I was making sure it was less for other people to grab. I think you were sneaking meats? Yes. Yeah, I was gonna say I just they just said this on Joe Button's podcast that Mark Lamont Hill was stealing food.
SPEAKER_02:So you doing the same shit? Just the ball niggas.
SPEAKER_00:Anytime I hear Mark Lamont Hill, it's like I'm saying regular words that are tricky to eat. That's hilarious. That's hilarious.
SPEAKER_01:I said, if this is not the most clever way to call somebody dumb I ever heard in my life. Um, yeah, it was a cool week, man. It was a cool week. It was a cool week. Uh, you know, life is life, and that's it. That's it. That's all I'm gonna say.
SPEAKER_00:The other one was worse. They they they focused and made that one viral, but the when he called him, he said, You're a person that aspires to wear clothes you think should fit. I said, nigga, did you just call him fat?
SPEAKER_01:Yes, he did. The funny part about that shit is a lot of shit that Mark Craig goes right over flip head. I'm like, nigga, did you realize what he just said?
SPEAKER_00:He just called you stupid. Mark Lamont Hill's a dangerous person, man. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That shit is not fair.
SPEAKER_00:Uh yeah, shout out to the Joe Button podcast. Um, but uh my week was it's interesting. I I've been rehearsing for uh a cipher I got coming up on Friday. Yeah, yeah. And um been rehearsing for that. You know, the only reason why I'm doing it is uh shout out to Diesel. He had coerced me into doing it because he was like, man, when are you gonna get another opportunity to do a cipher with Dirty Birdie? And I said, You're right, you're right. So I said yes. Now if I fuck up, I fucked up, but I I get the opportunity to to do a cipher with Dirty Birdie, but I'm gonna be in awe because that dude's a legend. So to be in that same lineup.
SPEAKER_01:I don't think you have to you don't do like Ab Sol did.
SPEAKER_00:Oh no, he just yeah, if I at least if I say a word that rhymes, I would I'm in better shape than Ab was. And I fuck with Absol. I love Ab, but that was when I saw that I was like, this is not the Absol I know.
SPEAKER_01:I just want to say that I won't I also would like no smoke with Absol. Oh no, no, I'm just that was that was comedians see that, so we're gonna think that's nasty. Look here, Abs from Carson's upset. Like he just Abs from Carson, you know, I claim Carson, so yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Well then uh uh again I I I I I rehearsed for that. Then I went to Walmart yesterday, and I went into the soda aisle and I uh grabbed my usuals. Well, now one of my usuals is now Mr. Pibb, and I went to grab Mr. Pibb, and a lot of people don't know this, but Mr. Pibb either was acquired or rebranded by Coca-Cola. So they had the Coke guy stacking up sodas, and I grabbed Mr. Pibb behind him and I put it in my cart. And he was like, How does it taste? I said, to be honest with you, just like Dr. Pepper. And he goes, Oh, okay, well, enjoy. I said, Yeah, yeah, I will. So then I go to further down the aisle and I'm I'm looking at the the ginger ale and I grab the ginger ale and I grab the seven up tropical, zero sugars, you know. And the seven up guy looks at me and says, Man, I see you got that Mr. Piv in your cart. Shit's trash. You need to grab this Dr. Pepper. I said, No, I'm good. Can I ask why? I said, Price. He goes, Oh, well, that can't always be a factor. Oh, it's yes, it's always a factor. Yes. And he goes, Oh, okay, well, maybe next time. I said, No, no, next time. As long as the price is what it is, it's gonna be Mr. Piv.
SPEAKER_01:I just let you know how much money Coke has, though.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but this was the trip to me. It was one Coke guy in that aisle stacking, and it was three seven up people. And I looked and uh to both sides of me, I'm in the middle of a fucking turf war in the middle of Walmart. Lucky a bottle didn't get thrown. But I when I and I looked back in retrospect, the reason why he yelled, like he said loudly that that Mr. Pib is trash is because fucking Coke was right there. Like, what the fuck? Like he wanted to know, yeah, we coming for your motherfucking head because I don't think people know that as of November 1st, I believe, places that carry Coca-Cola products have kicked Dr. Pepper out and said, Miss, it's Mr. Pib now. So I think there's real smoke. So niggas gonna last? I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:I just know Dr. Pepper.
SPEAKER_00:As I sip this Mr. Pib, no product placement. It tastes exactly like Dr. Pepper. I love Dr. Pepper.
SPEAKER_01:So someone's probably gonna get sued then.
SPEAKER_00:Well, you stole a recipe. I'm just saying, it tastes oddly very like much like Dr. Pepper.
SPEAKER_01:Cope got the money to keep that in court for a long time. Oh, they just pay it. They don't give a fuck. Like, how much did you say? We did, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:With that, then I I got my hair braided. Shout out to Jess, uh Barbara at Jess for braiding my hair and keeping me looking spiffy. And um, that was cool. And uh it it it made me feel like a million bucks. And then I I proceeded to uh go through my week and wait real quick.
SPEAKER_01:Did did did you run your errands after you got your hair done? After.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, I thought that's like no, literally as I posted like the video of the oh, that's another thing. Fucking Joseph Patino. You I did I know you said my my workups are gonna change, but I didn't realize how fast they were gonna change, and then they changed and it fucked with my recording process because now I was relearning all this shit, so it took longer to record.
SPEAKER_01:I already see where this is headed.
SPEAKER_00:So when I did those hip thrusts, this nigga. Let's just say my thrust game was strong.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But I was surprised at how much I could lift doing hip thrusts, because even in the video, it was light work because I was like, actually, I could lift more. But then, you know, in the comments and shit was like, oh, getting that booty already. I was like, God damn it. Getting the booty ready.
SPEAKER_02:This nigga gonna be in here and like you gonna start covering it hoochie daddy shorts and just cut off, just be like, they're gonna call me BBL McFly.
SPEAKER_01:He's gonna say I'm he's I'm not sitting, uh I'm I'm sitting taller because my goots have grown.
SPEAKER_00:I'm gonna make my own BBL stutter. BBL stutter.
SPEAKER_03:McFly.
SPEAKER_00:But yeah, it was yeah, it was interesting to see that. And I was like, no, no man judge me. Well, nah, they don't judge you. Uh it's funny because like I was saying to Zulu the other day, I noticed the people that use the hip thrust that are men or the black men that are in shape at my gym. So I I I don't think I think it's intimidating for everyone else.
SPEAKER_01:No. That that hip thrust machine is actually uh a lot more hamstring than people get credit for.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I can see that. They they think it's just for flexors. I almost cry I caught a cramp almost. Yeah, because you weren't crazy. Trying to get up was the hardest part. Yeah, I was like, ooh shit. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:But anyway, so all I do when I hear thrust, I just ask my wife how much you weigh. And I just that's how much I put on the bar.
SPEAKER_00:Respect. Didn't need to know it, but respect. But as we deal with life as three fathers, right? Three black fathers. As we proceed, we are constantly brought setbacks and obstacles and things that we have to deal with on top of trying to provide. So mentally, it can take a toll, and I don't think we talk about that enough as far as everything that's being thrown in us and uh understanding how to process that. So before we get into the shenanigans, what is the one dadism that you can give the fathers that listen to this fucking podcast going forward that you kind of live by or abide by, or is that you is it's a model that you go by?
SPEAKER_01:I don't know. I just try to be patient and uh soak in the moments with them because that shit changes fast. Like it happens fast. So it's almost back to that don't blink shit. That shit's for real. Cause you look up and you're like, oh shit. Yeah. Let's keep it simple. Like I always say, man, it may be uh it's Monday to you, but it's their childhood to them. So yeah, today I was just like, they was Grayson just following me. And I'm like, what do you want? I'm just like, you know what? I should be happy that she wants to be with her dad. I can't I can't shake this little the worst is when you're taking the shit. They were outside the door. I'm like, God damn you. Like, I've been here for 20 minutes. Why are you still waiting on me? I was like picking up stuff, and I was like, at least you could help me. Like, nah, she's like, You just gonna follow me and just tell me stuff? Like, you see this? Like, sorry.
SPEAKER_00:Mine's is usually if even if you don't understand, still be present, even if you don't know what they like, what the fuck six seven is, any of the shit, still just be present.
SPEAKER_01:Six seven. Oh my god, I'm all with it. I'll just be telling them, hey, look, what number is that?
SPEAKER_00:When I was rehearsing my uh verse, I uh there's a line in there with six seven and dad, you said six seven, so I get to say it. I said, No, that's not how this works.
SPEAKER_01:They uh this this motherfucker is lethal.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, uh Mo Little.
SPEAKER_01:Uh that that six seven shit. It's crazy. Yeah, but that that's the Rhyme of Halloween night, Kevin. We passed a couple, yeah. We passed a couple and they were dressed as 6'7, and so all the kids saw it, and all the kids at the same time, 6'7! I was like, Y'all shut the fuck up. They're probably uh influencers. Well, it worked because they were like, Can you guys do that again? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I got a uh a real question to ask you. How is your resilience today?
SPEAKER_01:Resilience? Same as the same as every other day.
SPEAKER_00:What's the level? Well, give me a level. Uh one to ten. Eight. Ten being good? Yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like this is a trick question. You must have to go. No, no. Slap me in the face, you're the one with the flashwater.
SPEAKER_00:What the fuck? I can't slap you in the face. You got the flashwater. You got more reaching advantage.
SPEAKER_01:What the five fingers face in the face.
SPEAKER_00:You're like, oh shit.
SPEAKER_01:Resilience, I feel like, yeah, it's pretty high. Ten. I'm gonna go ten. You know ten? Yeah. Mine's about a seven. Ten is five. Uh not ten's probably about right, because you, you know. Your football team is they're they they've lost a lot of people. Oh, I think I got that. Get that motherfucker.
SPEAKER_00:All right, this is the real talk round table, all right? We're gonna have an honest group discussion, okay?
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:So, what would you say fatherhood has changed your perspective on mental health and carrying grief when loss doesn't look like tears?
SPEAKER_01:I would just say that you really gotta deal with your shit so that you don't transfer it onto your children. Because even when you don't think they're paying attention or picking up on your vibes or your mood or whatever, they pick up on that shit. So you gotta make sure that uh you gotta you really gotta learn how to put your fronts all the way up and and minimize when you're around them and and feed them positive energy.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I'll say that fucks with me because it it hits me like a left hook when I'm stressing and I think that I'm doing a good job of like hiding the stress, and them A will come up and say, Here's a dollar, Dad, so to help you out stress less. I say, God damn it, like Oh yeah, they know.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Oh yeah, they know. Uh that's it's it's made me be more aware. It's made me be more aware and take it serious. Like, that's really because it was like easier to just you know, push that shit down. Yeah, but now it's like I'm more like you said, everything you do reflects and they see it all, and so you can't even hide that shit from them. So it's like I might as well just tackle this shit so I can help them tackle shit. And it's actually some of the shit I'd be getting assignments from my therapist right now, and it's cool because some of that shit translates into life where you're like, oh, that makes all of us better. Like, okay, this is this is this is cool. So yeah, take it serious. Like, you really gotta process that shit in real time and get it over with. Like, you you gotta like uh like my therapist says, you don't you you don't want 60 seconds to control the whole day. So you you you give that 60 seconds seconds 60 seconds and you go on about the day you said I gotta learn to not laugh at things that are not laughable, yeah. Where it's like you're mad at that? I can see your wife stabbing you stabbing your ass. That angers me a little bit, Kevin. I can see your wife stabbing your ass. Yes, I'm mad, motherfucker. Oh, sorry, no, I'm gonna say this shit publicly. Oh, he's gonna get, yeah. It's the bagels. God damn it. To the to my wife and the wife of Kevin Wendell. I'm not gonna say I'm not gonna say their names. Both of y'all ain't shit. You've said okay. I'm still mad about these goddamn bagels. Look how he sent me up. He sent me up. You could have got me a goddamn bagel. And Miss Wendell, when I see you in person, I'm gonna say it to your face too. I'm waiting. She probably heard you outside. Wouldn't even know about the goddamn spot, it wasn't for me. So I want my goddamn jalapeno breakfast sound bagel too. Shit.
SPEAKER_00:You spoke you both speak on therapy a lot. Yeah. Where would you say mental health-wise as a a father, how much has it helped you?
SPEAKER_01:Um the I don't I don't think you can um I don't I don't think you can calculate that percentage. I th I feel like it's been the best thing ever. Because I I I realize now having an unbiased person to talk to. Basically some place to go and dump. Because, you know, as men, the more we dump I don't know, like I say, for me, the more I dump them. I'm I'm like when I'm when I'm venting or dumping, I'm working it out at the same time.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So a lot of times by the time I get to the end of my rant, I've come to the conclusion. So having a safe place to do that where I'm where I'm not uh gonna be judged or or hear a uh a comeback and and hear somebody approach things from an unbiased situation and and you know this outside the situation, I feel like it helps me process and helps me it helps me gain different um uh perspectives on the the situation and all that. So I've I feel I for me personally, I feel like it's it's it's it's been great.
SPEAKER_00:How long did it take you to get to that comfort zone to be able to To talk? Yeah, because I I would even when I did therapy, it was like I still know that they're not supposed to judge me, but I still feel like these motherfuckers are judging. How do you get to that point?
SPEAKER_01:I feel like it took me about a good like four or five sessions. And I was like, okay, like alright, she cool. Like, all right, she cool. Especially no, because then she says black shit to me all the time. You know, we probably know y'all know I love nigga shit. Yeah, so you when you start talking my language, I get more comfortable.
SPEAKER_00:I'm gonna change your name to spades on my phone. You, Kevin?
SPEAKER_01:He loves like certain nigga shit.
SPEAKER_00:I think there's some nigga shit that I do that you still be like, mm-mm. Like that whole the macaroni thing. You was like, nigga, nah.
SPEAKER_01:What macaroni?
SPEAKER_00:Remember I waited for the in the Oh y'all wouldn't do that.
SPEAKER_01:That nigga went out the door dash my shit. I I'm not finna wait. I'm not finna wait in in no fucking hood environment. Like I'm in the goddamn uh trap house.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that that's what that felt like. It was uh shut off the pookie plates, but nigga, that was some hood shit. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You cover? Oh, that's funny. Um it's been immense, it's like an immense thing, like because uh yeah, it kind of slows you down into just looking from different perspectives and shit. It's like, well, you don't see how somebody could take this that way. You're right. And like uh Yeah, just with the kids, it's like it's cool because like uh knowing that my therapist has like small children too, like you know it's like somebody who's telling you some shit where you're like, oh, okay. You ain't just saying some bullshit.
SPEAKER_00:Is your therapist a woman too?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Is it easier to open up to a woman?
SPEAKER_01:I I think to her, just she was cool. Like, cause she was off the gate, it was one of those where I was like, oh, all right, I'll fuck with you off that. Because I like that kind of shit, like just open front up, up front honesty, where it's like, hey, if you don't like fucking with me, don't fuck with me. Like black? No, she white. She's a white girl with tattoos and shit. But she's like, uh you gotta smoke a bong at times, or she probably does. Like, she didn't give a shit. I was like telling her about weed and shit, and she was like, So, because that's it asks a question, like, do you do things outside of prescriptions? And I'm like, Yeah, smoke some weed. She's like, Well, doesn't that help with your anxiety?
SPEAKER_00:Sounds like she's speaking from experience.
SPEAKER_02:I guess that would be considered a oh, oh, I fuck with you.
SPEAKER_00:That sounds like yeah, that sounds like personal experience. So yeah, I can see that.
SPEAKER_01:It does help, but I don't have a card. I just I just procure it through legal channels. Yeah. But like that type of shit, it was like uh just leave, don't stay with me, you know. Go find somebody who actually helps you because I want somebody to help you. And I was like, oh, okay, you're in it for the right reason. This ain't like a money grab thing. So like a lot of that shit helped to be able to just open like that. Um yeah, it's been good. I've come from uh high anxiety to a little bit a little bit better manageable. I mean, you learned how to manage it. You do know you can you can go through therapists if you find the one you're comfortable with. Yeah, I guess.
SPEAKER_00:Uh my bigger question is would you ever feel comfortable having the therapist the same as your wife or a friend?
SPEAKER_01:Hell no. No, no, what do you mean?
SPEAKER_00:Like saying that your therapist is also your wife's therapist or or or a family member's therapist or a friend's therapist.
SPEAKER_01:I don't I don't mind if it's a friend, but like wife, nah. It wouldn't matter. Because if they're good at their job, it shouldn't matter. Let's put it that way. I think that would more be on our own mental thing. So it's like if your mental's not in that, fuck no. Like, what's the point? You're just going through the motions at that point where you're like, I just can't feel like there's some things I can't say to you. Yeah. But there's not supposed to divulge to the other party.
SPEAKER_00:And how many sessions did it take for you to get comfortable with just kind of divulging your private things and not feeling judged?
SPEAKER_01:I think it's pretty quick. It's probably like two, three. This thing is an open book.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I that's why I was I would imagine it'd be faster for him because he can he'll open up and talk to anybody.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, this motherfucker literally Because he'll say some he'll say some deep shit that's bothered him, then laugh about it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Because he laughs when he wants.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, he literally hung out with the guy that paid for pretentious. Um I I I would imagine it'd be easy for him to open up then. So as far as with being a parent, how is it how do you with the therapy and everything together, how do you able to process and care carry grief that you deal with as your journey continues?
SPEAKER_01:What do you mean carry grief? Carrying the grief that you're telling. I don't think that it's just grief. I think it's all everything. I think you learn how to process everything. And you could you everything is for me personally, everything is processed similar. Like you, you, you, you sit in it for a moment, you you you sit in it for a moment, you you figure out how you're feeling, you figure out why you feel that way, and then you would then you adjust accordingly and you're going about your day.
SPEAKER_00:So would you say what therapy has helped you manage that way by you two?
SPEAKER_01:It's yeah, it's as we've been saying, it's helped me learn how to close the loop on things. Like I used to feel, well, I still do, I still have this weird guilt for shit that I shouldn't feel guilt for. But like that's something I'm working through where it's like, all right, why should you? What's this, this, this, and this? Like, all right, well, now we've come to the end of it. So that's you close that, and then it's like, okay, that makes sense, and then the fuck out of there.
SPEAKER_00:Uh I'm about to go into a story.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:We listen and we don't judge.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Are you guys you're judging me? I know you anyway. Uh so uh, yeah, I usually I was talking to a coworker of ours and a friend um this past week, and we were talking about loss. And I had divulged the story of when I lost my dad that I normally don't talk about in that detail. And I I was I think I was open up because I knew he was going through a tough time. And uh I was talking about the story when the week that my dad, when I found out my dad went to the hospital, it was weird because of the whole time I didn't I was dealing with life and being busy, and I didn't even realize that he had normally didn't do his normal thing where he would call me and when I'm on my way home. And it was kind of like a check-in, and then I was like, there was one night that my sister did call me about him being in the hospital. That I was like, Man, that's weird. Dad usually calls me. He didn't call, and I was like, whatever. So I'm driving home and I go to Wendy's to pick up something for my kids, and my sister texts me and says, Call me when you get a chance. Dad's in the hospital. I said, Okay. So I I call and she's explaining to me that like he was at dialysis and he was unresponsive. They rushed to the hospital. They were getting in touch with her because he was stable and they wanted to move him to a facility in Rutland. And she was like, Well, I never even got the call that he went to the hospital. So she was explaining and then put me up to what's going on. We we deal with that. He's stable. And around that time, it's Christmas time. So a week or so later, I had a car, uh Telluride. It was a base level telluride. And I always kind of had buyer's remorse because I bought it out of necessity, but I always wanted the top trim. So when I was going to get an oil change or whatever, they were like, man, we can get you in the top trim. Uh you'll be paying similar to what you're paying now. And I said, if you can really do that, I'll do it. So anyway, it was a day or so before Christmas. Uh I ended up trading the car and and and uh I called my dad as soon as I left the dealership to see how he was doing. My sister was with him, and that was the last time we actually like clearly talked. Uh, and he gave me his blessing for the move I made. He said, You always work for what you want. I'm happy that you got what you wanted now because that's the whole point of this. You work for what you want. So that was it's hard. I have a special bond with that car because my dad had given me his blessing to have that car. And growing up, my dad didn't believe in car notes. He used it was adamant, you built you fucking fix up a car, motherfucker, you don't do that shit, nigga. And you'd be like, All right. So for him to kind of have a blessing for it, like it meant a lot. Um, so fast forward, Ava ends up giving the entire house COVID because she got COVID at school, and I ended up with COVID, and it was New Year's Eve, and then my sister called me to tell me that my dad had a brain aneurysm and suffered a stroke, and now he was brain dead and that he wasn't gonna make it. So I cried into my pillow. I was feeling like shit that whole day. And I was talking to Maurice, and Maurice had told me, dude, you need to go see your dad because you're gonna really regret it if you don't to get to say goodbye. A lot of people don't get the chance to say goodbye. At least go say goodbye. So I drove from Winchester Redlands. I was talking to him the whole time. Uh, I got there. I was hoping they were gonna let me in, and hopefully that my fever wouldn't shoot up or anything, so I can get in here and say goodbye. Thankfully, when they did the temperature check, I was fine. I went in, I said goodbye, and I couldn't, they kept saying he was brain dead, but I couldn't believe it because he was responding to my voice and he was gripping my hand and he was trying to get out of the bed, and that image plays in my mind constantly. And uh when I said goodbye, we waited for my brother to to decide what he wanted to do as far as because they kept saying they wanted to pull the plug. We were like, nah, my our brother, older brother's RN. We wait for him to get there, then we'll figure out what we want to do uh moving forward. Uh he came back in the town, assessed it. They eventually pulled a plug on January 3rd. Uh my sister, the last time she told me they had pulled the plug, she FaceTime me and I saw the image of my dad, and his face was so like distorted, like his jaw did this weird thing, and he was and I said goodbye, and that image haunts my brain to this day, and it's hard for me to sleep. And that's the last image I have of my father. Um and then a couple hours later, when I was in the drive-thru getting my family food, uh my sister texted me that he was gone, and I cried frantically at that moment, and then I had to text shout out to Michelle, uh my dispatcher, and say, I lost my dad. I don't know what to do. So um that fucked with me. It still fucks with me, but like at certain instances I get these triggering moments, and I sometimes I feel like I'm fine, and other times I feel like gone. So uh when I explained that to our coworker, he was like, damn, I didn't know you were you you went through that. And I said, Yeah, I don't usually talk about it, but it was one of those things where life has a way of uh not giving you time to necessarily process things the way you should be processing them because you got so much more on your plate to figure out. So, like, even after that, dealing with the the the funeral arrangements and going through things back and forth for my siblings about money and uh me having to fundraise it in order to get my portion of the money, like going through all that shit and and and dealing with family and and the reactions to shit to where I don't deal with them. It's like a lot of shit goes on in people's lives, and that shit there just it fucks with me. So like I I'm realizing that as I get older I have to be more open about what I talk about because um the whole you know bottling it up was is not working for me. And it's it's uh but I realized in that in that moment it did help him be able to open up and grieve about what he was going through. Um but yeah, uh that was one of the that that by far at this point is the hardest thing I ever had to deal with and and in process, and I still try to process.
SPEAKER_01:Um There's some things he probably ain't gonna be able to like uh shake, but the learning how to cope, I guess, is the way to the only way to go with that. Like if that makes sense, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00:And like I told him, it's not like when people tell you uh you uh it gets better, I was like, it don't get better, you just uh you it becomes your new norm. Like it that void is always there, it's just the now it's your new norm. Like it's yeah, you just accept that this is now your reality as opposed to looking at it and saying, Oh, it gets better, and then things like it's like no, it's like it's your new norm now. You process, and each day you understand and accept that that is your new norm.
SPEAKER_01:I will say that I will say uh Michelle was a real woman because every day she asked me about you. And uh I think I would I would always say something like he's doing as uh he's doing as well as you can expect. And uh because the one thing I I did realize that I could relate to when you went through your situation is that a lot of people don't understand when you're dealing with death, especially someone close to you, you don't really get to process what happened because you're dealing with the business of death. Yeah. And so when you're dealing with the b business of death, you're not grieving. You're just trying to get things, make sure things are done. And then now you're worried about making sure things are done to the liking of the deceased, and you're dealing with the the dynamic of family and all that bullshit that comes with that, and people feeling entitled to shit and and entitled to make decisions and shit, and they act like they know people when they wasn't around, type shit. So you don't really get to grieve through that. You don't really because I can say similar. I think I told you we talked about this. So I didn't even get to really grieve my grandparents until after the funeral. Like my process didn't start there out. Like I was literally, I was numb. Just trying to get things done, trying to get things scheduled and planned and stuff like that. And then once that day's over with, that's when you start grieving. I think that day, the day you actually watch them going to the ground is when you you actually start the grieving process because you you've been so numb to what's happened and just been so focused on the business of making sure everything else happens to their life, to their standard, that uh um that you don't really get a chance to grieve. But Michelle was real one. She did ask about you every day.
SPEAKER_00:And that and that I said the hardest part of all that process was that realization. And it always, that's I think what used to hit me like a ton of bricks was the those instances and memories that you have that you can't like if I get my memories get fuzzy, I can't go back to my dad and say, Dad, when when that happened, what was that? Like I that you when that hits you and you're like, I can't go back to him. Cause I used to do that when I would try to remember a story of growing up that we went through. I could ask him and he knew what I was talking about. And I that that shit hit you like a ton of bricks. Like But a shout out to Michelle, because uh she made sure that uh I was able to get my breathing, and she's like, if you need extra days, and shout out to Trevor too, because Trevor's like, what uh whatever you need, just let us know. And um that that's the hard thing for me, and like to to try to process and and not put that burden on my kids.
SPEAKER_01:Uh well, it's uh it's a process. It's a process, that's for sure. It's not an overnight thing. It's not one of those things that's just like, oh, here's the fix. It's like nigga, it's a process. Like, I still you gotta get used to living. Well, I had to deal with guilt and like shit and figure that part out. So, and then you're like, okay, so that's not your fault. So fuck. Now what? Like it's not not laughing. You know what I you you know, my dementia. Yeah, yeah. You laugh when you don't want to cry.
SPEAKER_00:And the hardest uh thing that I had to accept of that whole thing was he the last time I talked to him, he called me frantic because he wanted out of the hospital. And um at the time I was like, I that there's no way that I can get him out. And I called my sister. I said, I'll I'll let uh Sansi, my sister, know that you went out. Like, I'll I'll call her right now. And I called her, and she was like, He called me already. And she's like, I she's like, You don't have the means. I don't have the means to take care of him. If you she's like, I'm telling you right now, if you take him out of that hospital, it's gonna be all on you to figure out the the meds, their his health. And she was like, You have a whole family to take care of. Do you really want that responsibility? And I was like, fuck. So that shit beats at me.
SPEAKER_01:That's a lot.
SPEAKER_00:Because I feel like impartial or mainly responsible for why things happen the way they did.
SPEAKER_01:How? You couldn't do anything, like what's when it's coming? You didn't you didn't cause the stroke.
SPEAKER_00:No, but it just felt like my dad came to me for help.
SPEAKER_01:And yeah, no, yeah, I get that part. But sometimes the help is having them be somewhere they don't necessarily want to be. If that you know what I mean? Whereas like this is a better place here, like with the facilities and everything, and at least the care and all that. So it's like I said, it's a it's a process. It's not uh there's no words to find. It's like what you're doing now is the way to do it. Like get it out, and then then you gotta like keep going through it. That's the shittiest part about it. Is like to keep going through it and then being like, okay, and then closing loops. Like it sounds weird like that, but it's like, okay, so that part, this isn't that, this isn't that, this isn't that. And then yeah, yeah, that's that's long process. That's the thing about trauma. You're not gonna conquer it in one session, you're not gonna conquer it at one remembrance. Yeah, shit. You might not. You might just learn how to learn how to manage it. Yeah, manage it. Learn how to manage it. Deal with is the wrong words. We always say that. Deal with that's what I think that's the wrong way to say it.
SPEAKER_00:That I gotta uh I looked at everything as dealing as opposed to um experiencing.
SPEAKER_01:I don't mean to Nah man, that's good. Like, fuck that. Don't ever feel like that. Don't feel any sort of way like that's that's what I think this is. Like, this is supposed to be like that. The whole heavyweight experience is like, nigga, put that shit out there. Don't fucking apologize for some shit. That's a real conversation. So I appreciate that. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00:So to try to change the mood, uh huh. What is your biggest dad fail?
SPEAKER_01:Uh hair. Hair damn right. I was shit. Anything with appearance. I did hair the other day. Fuck it up, and all I did was all right. When it comes to the hair, I I can give you a good pineapple. That's it. That's all I got.
SPEAKER_03:That's all I got.
SPEAKER_00:I do the I do pretty good with the just the ponytail. I've never tried to cut like the the boys' hair. No. Line them up at least. Nah. You try to line them up. Maybe especially as much as Andreas moves up. You have a bunch of West Sides in his head. Shit.
SPEAKER_01:I told my nephew and dad, I said, Your problem is you ain't never had a kitchen cut. You wanna know the struggles.
SPEAKER_00:You ain't never had one of them one of them kitchen cuts. What are you doing to these kids? So what the fuck? I was trying to cut his hair, dog. That's just what the fuck was that? Like, rest in peace, man. Trying to cut his hair.
SPEAKER_02:How you get cut?
SPEAKER_01:Hey, the clip was short. What did I say? The homie Phil in the Navy, I don't know why, agreed to that. He's like, You mind if I try cutting your hair? Hell no. You know what I mean? So let her try. No. I'm done. And like I looked at and I was like, I mean, the hair is good.
SPEAKER_02:That lineup was not. Good thing we were in the ocean. We was in the ocean, so nobody saw.
SPEAKER_01:You got time to grow back?
SPEAKER_00:I got triggered. God damn it.
SPEAKER_01:Who fucked up your line?
SPEAKER_00:Pushed the back. Pushed it back way back. There was this place in Mobile. And it was uh I was trying to look. See, this is where you have to accept that you're gonna pay money for a haircut. Like you gotta get money for anything good. Oh, yeah. So I went to this place and they had like$10 haircuts or whatever. It's cheap, but it was this Filipino dude.
SPEAKER_01:Oh shit.
SPEAKER_00:Oh no, what year is this? This was a maybe 2015, 20s? Nah, nah.
SPEAKER_01:Haircuts are about 25,$30 hair.
SPEAKER_00:So it was$10 haircut, and I'm like, oh, and I'm thinking he's an older guy. So I was like, I'm gonna take a chance on this guy. Just say no, nigga. Yeah. You knew.
SPEAKER_01:Did you rock a half or in the first next year?
SPEAKER_00:You knew that you didn't do nigga hair. Cause I should have paid attention when you gave me that hesitation look, when you saw me come towards your chair, that you should have said, nah, nigga, can't do it. Instead, he said, Let's go ahead and take a chance.
SPEAKER_01:What the motherfucker saying if you walk in a barber shop and it ain't got that poster with no hairstyles, you like just leave, nigga.
SPEAKER_00:But the thing it was a black barbershop, but he was a Filipino guy at the front of the store. So like the guy gave him a guy gave him a shot. Like when I say that he fucked my hairline up.
SPEAKER_01:Damn, I can't ask the questions because that gets us canceled. I was like, what kind of Filipino? Like, like, you know, like you know, like the Asian boy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_00:But he yeah, he fucked my hairline up, and then like he was like I had patches of hula hand going on in my hair, like because he was didn't know what areas like that's not funny, but damn, he didn't start with the guard. And I just said, never again.
SPEAKER_01:He just did it.
SPEAKER_00:I'll just take I'll take the my hair's long now.
SPEAKER_01:So I had one guy tell me he couldn't, and I appreciated it. But just say I don't know how to cut black people. Like I remember I remember right at I think 2008 was the last time I paid for a haircut. And I walked in there and he was like, Yeah, that's gonna be$25. I said, nigga, I said I just could even cut like in a line. Yeah,$25. I said, oh, okay. That's the last time I got a haircut. I said, nigga, I'm losing my hairline anyway. I'm gonna cut this shit myself. I'm gonna cut this shit myself. COVID. Man, why you always go with Patrick like that? Hey, man, I'm just trying to get him to accept it. Trying to get him to join the club. Yeah, accept it. That last bit. The bottom ball hater wild. I saw, I was like, that is the full code of said.
SPEAKER_00:He accepts it though. Shout out to Patrick. He accepts it.
SPEAKER_01:He does. He definitely does. He embraces that I'll be wanting to text Patrick. Nigga, how you gonna ask me about how I shave my head, but you don't, you're not listening. Because every time I see you, nigga, you hit him. He's gonna do some shit. Hey, nigga. Government shut down. He's gonna do some shit. Yeah, he is the one do some shit. Pay my boy Patrick. Shit. They should pay him now, I think, right? They should. He should have never not been paid. No, at least him. No, that happens. No, I mean all other armed services, not just him. Oh no, I know. It's happened before, not this long, but I had two checks come to me one time where I was like, oh, y'all niggas just stopped paying us.
SPEAKER_02:Like, oh wow. They wasn't fucking around.
SPEAKER_01:Well, anyway, we're going politics. Let's not do that. Hell nah. We're gonna go down a rabbit hole. I ain't gonna say nothing else. I'm just gonna just say pay uh pay the arm services.
SPEAKER_00:We can't even say free. Okay. Um so that was your funny dad, Phil. Where's yours?
SPEAKER_01:Huh?
SPEAKER_00:Because we kind of piggybacked off of here.
SPEAKER_01:He said the hair. I said, Yeah, I'll trip. Yeah, that's that's it.
SPEAKER_00:Miles was trying to think that I was as young and limber as my kids at the jump park.
SPEAKER_01:Oh no, don't do that. I almost broke a thumb. No, no, don't do that. You tripping. You found out. Yeah, I found out.
SPEAKER_00:I had my shit in a like a whatever splint for like three months. I told you, my child is a gymnast, nigga. She walks on her hands. I'm not I can't name that shit. Well, my kids just kind of parkour it, but not professionally.
SPEAKER_01:She's a professional.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I'm saying, like, I I thought I had a good shot.
SPEAKER_01:Look, that's they still got cartilage.
SPEAKER_00:That's true.
SPEAKER_01:They still apply.
SPEAKER_00:My knees snap, crackle, and pop all the time.
SPEAKER_01:Our limbs only design in the in the function they were. We ain't got no wiggle room for error.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It gotta be in the exact path it's supposed to be on, or it's it's you hear that, Joseph?
SPEAKER_00:So when you have us do hack squats, fuck Joseph. And I hear I hear a uh a weird because he was like, So what what pain do you feel? I'm like, all in this vicinity, I'm feeling like a burning sensation. The whole fucking Oh, that might be the patella. Oh, it's the patella, but can you stop? But yeah, um we're we're we're learning. We're learning. No, I'm not even trying to do it here.
SPEAKER_01:I just gave up. Well, what do you want me to hear?
SPEAKER_00:We're gonna play a game.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Wait, hold on. Is it is this like a song? Like, that's my thought.
SPEAKER_00:Like I don't know these niggas' names, but we're gonna play a game.
SPEAKER_01:Rick Rubin.
SPEAKER_00:We're gonna say guess the ages of these famous black men.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:I don't even know that if they're if they're age, we're gonna we're gonna look it up afterwards, but we're gonna all guess the age.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:The nigga from Centers.
SPEAKER_01:Which one?
SPEAKER_00:The LeBron James looking nigga. The older dude.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, the one that the that played the harmonica?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That nigga gotta be like 70 something.
SPEAKER_00:What do you say?
SPEAKER_01:I don't even remember. You gotta say his name. What's his name?
SPEAKER_00:I'm gonna look it up. I'll look it up. I'll look it up.
SPEAKER_01:I remember the one that shit on himself.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, there was a I think I shit myself.
unknown:Oh Lord.
SPEAKER_00:Looks like LeBron James. What's his name? Like now.
SPEAKER_01:Well then if it looks like LeBron James, he's probably 47.
SPEAKER_00:But he's been playing the old dude for a long time. So that nigga's 47. 50. 52. I'm gonna go 52. We're gonna. God damn it. Oh, deal D-Roy Lindo. 52. 52? Nah, nigga went 52. No, Delroy Lindo. Delroy. Sub Chief. 1952. What would that be? 73. Oh I was I was gonna say 76, so. I was I'm in the ballpark? What'd you say? I said 72. So yeah, he got it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I mean, some you know, he he been around old niggas though his whole life. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was born in 18, yeah. No, we were 18, 19. Oh, I thought you said 18. I was like, nah, he was not born in no 18. He's an artifact then. Bill fucking Cosby. Bill Cosby? Ain't he like 80? Like 88 and 89. Yeah, he's almost 90. Yeah. Bill Cosby old. He's old? Yeah. Like old, old? Yeah. Like he's one of the. If he wasn't a piece of shit, he'd be one of our national treasures. Because we don't live like that.
SPEAKER_00:Like Joe Pudding.
SPEAKER_01:God damn. But you found some cakes. Bill Cosby was born in fucking 1937. Oh. Oh, so he was here when uh when the Gatsby was happening. Yeah.
unknown:Shit.
SPEAKER_01:He may be older than the prison dean's at. He's a depression baby. Hey, Meta. How old is Bill Cosby? 88, nigga. I don't know, man. Do the math. You're right. 88.
SPEAKER_00:88.
SPEAKER_01:That's all we got.
SPEAKER_00:Wait a minute.
SPEAKER_01:88.
SPEAKER_00:37? Yeah, he's older. He's probably older than the prison he's in.
SPEAKER_01:Didn't they let him out? I think they let him say something.
SPEAKER_00:Did they let him out? Yeah, he's home.
SPEAKER_01:He's home, we are.
SPEAKER_00:Here's one for you. I know this one. Jonathan Majors. Oh, he dressed like he's 62. I think Jonathan Majors, what, 38, 39? I think he, I believe he's only 36.
SPEAKER_01:He believes he's 65. And fucking, oh my God.
SPEAKER_00:I believe he is only 36. I could be wrong. Or 37.
SPEAKER_01:And you know, Megan's fine ass. I feel like he says things like yes him. That nigga's born in 89. Oh, so he's he's Maddieo.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, he's 36 years old.
SPEAKER_01:I thought it. God damn. That nigga looks older than all three of us together. And he'd be like, damn. Yes him. I'm older than that nigga. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I would have never thought we'd go over yonder.
SPEAKER_00:Like, why are you talking like that? He was perfect for Lovecraft Crunchy.
SPEAKER_01:Look here, man. I fuck with Nathan Ranger. I think he's a good actor. He's a great actor. Amazing actor.
SPEAKER_00:He's acting like he liked it. Anyway. Um so Marvel. What's up? So another black actor, Robert Downey Jr.
SPEAKER_01:Robert Downey Jr.
SPEAKER_00:He's I think he's like 58, 59. Oh, it's just I didn't even ask how old we thought Jonathan Majors was.
SPEAKER_01:I told you 38.
SPEAKER_00:I think I know he's 36, but I thought he was 56.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, he's like 50 something. Yeah, so he ain't 60. He looks 60.
SPEAKER_00:Damn. We're just gonna skim over the fact that I said he's a black guy.
SPEAKER_01:He's 60. Nah, from uh he is 60. Oh, even with the drug. He's the same age as my mom. Good for him.
SPEAKER_00:So we are in agreement that Robert Downing Jr. is a black guy. Oh, that he's a nigga. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Stop it thunder, like, did it. He's a nigga. That's the only blackface where people saw blackface and went. It wasn't blackface. It wasn't. It was a menstrual blackface. It wasn't blackface.
SPEAKER_00:One more.
SPEAKER_01:What is one more? I'm here.
SPEAKER_00:Eddie Murphy.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, Eddie Murphy is 54, I think. Is he? 54. I thought that nigga was 60. No, I think he like.
SPEAKER_00:I believe he's older.
SPEAKER_01:Eddie motherfucking Murphy.
SPEAKER_00:Eddie Murphy. I believe he's gotta be put. He's 64 years old.
SPEAKER_01:64? Damn, he looked good for his age.
SPEAKER_00:I know he had to be up there because it just clear that he wasn't doing the coke, it was just Rick. Apparently his brother on occasion. Talking out with Rick.
SPEAKER_01:Shout out to Charlie. Or he just dabbled, but he only dabbled in like the good shit. You think Rick was doing the not good shit? I think Rick dabbled in some bad shit at some point. If it's here, we smoking it. Rest in peace, Rick Gang. And we got we niggas was freebasin. Like Andy probably walked up with the biggest. I want to know what the fuck the first the person who came up with Sharon, what the fuck they was thinking. That's just bombing fluid, right? They they they dimp the blunt and the shit. Yeah. Like nigga, what like PCP? Yeah, like nigga, we should put this in this. Angel dust and smoke it. That's some crazy shit. Yeah. I did that on accident. On accident. I did that on accident.
SPEAKER_00:All right. We're gonna go and go back and forth between the common myths and facts about black men. Okay. Oh well, I can't see it came in my head.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, we don't have big dicks. I was I can't answer that. I don't know. Yeah, I can't. I I always should myself. It's just a you gotta lean into it because it benefits all of us. This is true. But there's some niggas where you're like, I'm not packing.
SPEAKER_00:And then if they and if they are aren't, and they're like, well, I was listening to the heavyweight podcast. I said all you are, and then he comes out. It's big to somebody.
SPEAKER_01:But you do you when you get a lot of women friends, they tell you, yeah, not every nigga. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And I I don't want to set anybody up for failure.
SPEAKER_01:So no? You're not gonna believe him?
SPEAKER_00:I would say I guess we're swinging high percentages out there.
SPEAKER_01:We'll go with that.
SPEAKER_00:But there's always exceptions to the rule. That's the best way to say that. Not everybody's swinging.
SPEAKER_01:Nothing's absolute.
SPEAKER_00:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:That is true.
SPEAKER_00:I guess smart ring. The the common misconception that I this well, see, I fit that stereotype. Swimming. These two niggas can swim, I cannot.
SPEAKER_01:I can swim. Yeah. That's why I said. But I can also swim because I was I was taught to swim at the YNC. Listen, I was taught to swim at the YN MTA. That is a half-truth. It's not it's not uh all the way, because listen. When we had to learn how to swim or not learn, we had to swim qual in the Navy. I'm gonna tell you most of the niggas who had to go back and keep swimming was niggas.
SPEAKER_00:So it's somewhat true.
SPEAKER_01:I don't like I know a lot, I know a lot of black people that can swim, but they're not strong swimmers.
SPEAKER_00:I I can doggy paddle and swim underwater.
SPEAKER_01:That's swimming.
SPEAKER_00:But I can't I can't do that.
SPEAKER_02:I just wouldn't recommend you hit the ocean.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that.
SPEAKER_02:You can't doggy paddle your way up the ocean. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:That's why I that's why I say I can't swim. I can survive.
SPEAKER_01:I only I only give people credit for swimming if you can try if you can tread water and swim regular. But you're gonna you're gonna swimming, it's it's it's tired. It's like in the ocean, you're gonna be tired.
SPEAKER_00:I can float.
SPEAKER_01:You think you can float?
SPEAKER_00:I can't float.
SPEAKER_01:I can float until your ass is tired. You can't relax enough because you're tired.
SPEAKER_00:Oh well. I don't partake in the ocean.
SPEAKER_01:I'm just saying, yeah, swimming is uh is a half-truth. I can swim though. Not all niggas can jump high. I can't jump high. I can't, never can. Never could.
SPEAKER_00:But I'm short. That white kid learned quickly that I can jump high. He tried to dunk on me.
SPEAKER_01:Damn. Oh, at the try to get a hair.
SPEAKER_00:I have a video of it. He tried to go up to dunk, and I don't think he realized I was gonna go up with him because he was looking at me and sizing me up, and then I went up with him and blocked him before he could get go all the way up. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_01:He just went for you. He didn't even embarrass me. He just went for the gym, nigga.
SPEAKER_00:Do you guys have any other McClung?
SPEAKER_01:Any myths?
SPEAKER_00:Myths that you you want to debunk here or or approve, right?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, uh, all black men don't eat pig feet.
SPEAKER_00:I don't eat most of the pig, just bacon.
SPEAKER_01:I do. I'm lying, I eat pig feet. I don't. We didn't help. I don't. Now I ain't had none in a while. I haven't in a while. I haven't, I've never cooked it, but I'm never gonna do that. Yeah, I'm never gonna do that. That's never gonna happen in my house. I'm never gonna go that far in. Are all black men good at sports? At least one. At least one. Nah, hell no. They just ain't find the sport for them. Nah. We get it something. No, I've met you've met some of these niggas where you're like, ooh, just get in the books, homie. Just get in the books.
SPEAKER_00:That's usually like a common thing that I see in like TV shows, and they're like, oh, because he was black, we're gonna pick him to play, we're gonna pick Jamal to play basketball.
SPEAKER_01:You don't see them big ass shoes he got on, like that nigga can't run. That motherfucker can't run. Was that racist?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it was racist. But it was the whole the whole sentence was meant to be racist because they were like, oh, that black guy Jamal can play basketball.
SPEAKER_01:How many white Jamals do you know? I've met a motherfucker that was white. His name was DeMarcus. That's dope. That's dope white that. And you remember it for the rest of your life. I was like, wait, your name is what? I said.
SPEAKER_00:What was his last name?
SPEAKER_01:I don't know. I didn't ask him. I couldn't get over Demarcus. But I would I want to see how the name flows. I met a white Terrence, I was like, damn, Terrence, that's not a white name.
SPEAKER_00:Because if it's DeMarcus Schuritz or something like that, you'd be like, damn, that's an interesting thing. Yeah, I wish it was like a Jewish name. That'd be dope. Schwartzmann.
SPEAKER_02:DeMarcus Schwartzman.
SPEAKER_00:You should have got the whole name. Because if his whole his whole name sounds black, then they set him up for failure.
SPEAKER_01:So there's an agent that goes to our gym, a cool guy, Maya. Shout out to Michael. And uh uh his daughter also goes to gymnastics. Well, I thought I think it's his daughter, but yesterday he was like, hey ma'am, um uh my sister's boyfriend wants to get in. Uh you guys, I said, Yeah, yeah, just use my phone to get in, whatever, bro. And so I was like, You need you need me up there? No, they just need the phone number. Okay, cool, whatever. So I see him walking towards me. He's like, Hey, this is my sister. And I go, That ain't your sister. I said, She black. I said, are you you've been black this whole time? I don't know. I was like, and the wife's like, no, it's probably like his half sister. I was like, well, because he's Asian. She's black. Maybe he's adopted, and then the boyfriend, that motherfucker, he was he was a nigga. He was like six five. I said, he's a tall ass nigga. Maybe he's adopted. He dope, though. I shot him. It threw me off. I said, it happened. Listen, it's it's California. Everything's everything's possible. It's not, yeah, it was in Alabama. Yeah. It was just crazy. It was funny though. No, we ain't gonna go there. We're in California. Everybody's gonna move out. We went straight. And then housing prices probably go up. He thought about it.
SPEAKER_00:He thought about it. But yeah. We got a lot of misconceptions, but I don't know, man. What I'll say is this is in closing. I know the good and bad in life, it it seems uh it follows us all. We all gotta deal with that shit. I understand that. Uh, but understand that everybody's going through shit, and it might not be the shit you're going through, but the only thing we can do as human beings is empathize. Um it might not be your shit, but nonetheless, it's shit the same, and we all gotta smell it.
SPEAKER_01:And as the wise Negroes say, at the end of the day, the day gonna end.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So, with that being said, this has been episode 222 of the have a great podcast. Like, subscribe, share, and comment. Dez isn't here, but she would is with us in spirit and she will be back soon. Y'all send her prayers, send her prayers. Uh, we love you.
SPEAKER_01:Do the emojis, actually pray.
SPEAKER_00:Till next time. We love you. Peace. Peace.
SPEAKER_02:That's rap, you know.
SPEAKER_00:That's that's how she wrap. So make sure, click like, subscribe. Tune in, we're on the off room platform. So until next time.
