The Heavyweight Podcast
Welcome to *The Heavyweight Podcast*, where every week, a dynamic group of four—“this lady and these three guys”—come together to discuss a wide range of topics that both warm the heart and nourish the soul. The Heavyweight Podcast brings together four unique individuals, each with their own perspective, to engage in open and honest conversations about real-life situations. Whether you're in need of a good laugh to release some tension or you're seeking real answers to life’s tough questions, tune in to *The Heavyweight Podcast*. Whatever you're looking for, you’ll find it here.
The Heavyweight Podcast
The Prize Isn’t You Or Me, It’s Us
This week, we explore what modern relationships look like beyond internet arguments and social media rules. From therapy and growth to money, masculinity, and emotional honesty, we share what it really takes to build something solid.
We talk about moving at different speeds, naming triggers, and why admitting “I’m not ready yet” is sometimes the most loving thing you can do. Whether you’re in a relationship or healing from one, this episode has something for you.
Thanks for tapping in with The Heavyweight Podcast.
Make sure you follow, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this convo. Catch us on all socials for clips, updates, and more behind the mic. https://linktr.ee/TheHeavyweightPodcast
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.
SPEAKER_00:The message behind saying the title of the Heavyweight Podcast is to be able to say that we can we can weigh in some heavy shit. What we're talking about is important from every aspect of it. It's a heavy weight. It's not just about physical weight, but the weight of things that that can weigh our minds. So I think it's dope that we can have this conversation.
SPEAKER_05:So your mic, your mic was set up right. Period.
SPEAKER_07:Gotcha, bitch.
SPEAKER_06:Whenever you're ready.
SPEAKER_04:Are you gonna start with your motivation on today? I don't know what how to motivate niggas. So for this topic, because it's about relationships. I hate my husband right now.
SPEAKER_06:That's true. What? Cream. Get the money. Dollar dollar bill, y'all. I just don't know how to handle these. That's a great talk, actually. I can't be handled. That's the problem.
SPEAKER_04:Nick Live, you say pause, I'm gonna spider crawl across this goddamn tape on your ass.
SPEAKER_06:I want to see that shit. Say it so we can have it on tape. She's been practicing for the goddamn navy, uh offshoot course.
SPEAKER_02:Go ahead, spider crawl, your ass, cross the tape. Anyways, anyways.
SPEAKER_06:I'm gonna look this way. Yeah, hey, what's up? Yeah, you know, we just wait on her, you know. Patience, my mind. Because in 30 minutes, she's gonna tell her she's hungry. I'm hungry now.
SPEAKER_04:30 minutes, nigga. You shouldn't even say that. I was trying not to say it.
SPEAKER_05:We just gotta get to the orange chicken and let's do it.
SPEAKER_04:That's all I'm saying.
SPEAKER_06:Hope it's just chicken and not rats. It might be, but they can't.
SPEAKER_04:It is a common debate online whether men need women and women need men. Today we are going to talk about just that the dynamics of relationships and what our thoughts are. This is episode 224 of the heavyweight podcast. I'm your host, Desda Diva. Back again with these three niggas.
SPEAKER_06:Damn. And this beautiful lady. That's okay. Oh, I gotta be a nigga.
SPEAKER_04:Everybody introduce yourself. Let's start with her because she's new. I'm Sharon. Hey, Sean.
SPEAKER_06:Can you say hello in the mic again?
SPEAKER_04:I'm Sharon. There we go.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, me? Let's go. Oh, I'm uh Millie, Millie. No. No. We'll just say Monk Bamley fly again.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, that's good. I wasn't ready.
SPEAKER_06:That's your name.
SPEAKER_05:Fuck it.
SPEAKER_07:Wasn't ready?
SPEAKER_06:I wasn't ready.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, I wasn't ready. Uh it's your boy Mo. Lethal. We're gonna switch it up a little bit this week, you guys. Instead of I do low-key, love you. You but you just get on my nerves. I just keep drinking for Dominique. Oh God. And yet when you talk shit to me online, that'd be the first nigga under there talking shit back. I talk shit, so she talked to me.
SPEAKER_05:That's funny.
SPEAKER_04:She ran to the comedy. She called me while she comedy. I'm finna get this nigga from your podcast. We're gonna switch things up a little bit this week. Rather than me asking how your week was, I would like to know what your win for the week was. We're gonna go back in the same direction. So, Sharon. What was your win for the week? My win for the week. Okay. You know what? I was able to my washing machine broke last week, and I secured a new washing machine. Okay. That's a win. I have to, yeah. I got me a new washing machine, so that was the win. Hell yeah, shit expensive. That's a win. Yeah, so hold on, I got it. It's coming. It's coming.
SPEAKER_06:It's coming. I got follow-up questions. It's nigga. Uh-oh. Um, because it uh what brand is it? Is it the top loader, front loader?
SPEAKER_04:No, you gotta hear me out. Because I got told not to get this brand, and I got it. Okay. Samsung. I got Samsung in Washington. I heard they break stone because they're they got all the clicks and whistles and all that.
SPEAKER_06:I've had my Washington drive singing drive for uh 10 years.
SPEAKER_04:Ooh, amen.
SPEAKER_06:And she wants a new one right now, and I say it's still working, you ain't getting it.
SPEAKER_04:Like I said, I secured a new one. Yeah, it's okay. But uh yeah, I it it's not brand new, but still I'm I'm excited because yeah, a whole front loaders or top loaders?
SPEAKER_06:So I don't know like at the door in the front or no, it's a top. Oh, it's a top loader, yeah. That's not about being top.
SPEAKER_04:Well, I wanted to buy stack to be honest with you. I wanted to buy me a stackable, but I still have my dryer. I don't know. Okay, stackable coming next.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, no, I would advise it against the stackable.
SPEAKER_04:Why?
SPEAKER_05:I feel this.
SPEAKER_06:Because when you have to repair them, you got the it's extra labor because now you gotta pull them both out of the way. Or a person who's repairing it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, that's not gonna be me. No, this they're gonna charge you more. She's like, which I ain't about to do. Okay. No, I'm just kidding. No, you're right. That's true. But for the space that my wash and dryer is in, I would like for a stackable.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. Well, you know what? I hope you get your desires. Yeah. That's coming next. I appreciate that. But that was my win. I mean, I I I win every day. Period. But period. Period. Ain't lost yet, nigga. That's the win that comes to mind for right now. Cool, cool, cool. May Fly win for the day? Win? Win win win.
SPEAKER_00:When uh being acknowledged for my uh that freestyle.
SPEAKER_04:That freestyle was tight. Which one? I'm pretty sure I shared it. Which one?
SPEAKER_06:More than one. Which one? Which one?
SPEAKER_00:Which one?
SPEAKER_06:I think he's asking you to do the freestyle. Which freestyle were you acknowledged for? The one you the lunchtime.
SPEAKER_00:6'7. 6'7, yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, that one? Yeah. So they've been hating on you before that. Who? So they didn't see this go before that one?
SPEAKER_03:What? What? What the fuck are you talking about? Why? Why? That wasn't the first freestyle nigga.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, there's a lot of them. But that one, they acknowledge that one. I was taking the win for this one because it got it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:We acknowledge your freestyles, I believe. I know that I do for sure. And I've seen other people acknowledge his freestyles before.
SPEAKER_06:I know that you know saying names.
SPEAKER_04:I'm not saying nobody's name on the motherfucking internet, nigga. You're so fucking annoyed.
SPEAKER_06:I'll pull the goddamn shit up right now and say who liked it and who and who saw and didn't like it.
SPEAKER_00:And also uh for my uh my Michael Jackson.
SPEAKER_04:That shit had me weak. I said, if this nigga don't get off my goddamn timeline with this shit.
SPEAKER_06:The funnier part about that whole shit is the teeth. When they do the teeth. And it looked like you'll you'll you dislocated your whole knee at one point. Don't say it, say all right, but just place this knee and put it back.
SPEAKER_04:I'm not finna play with you. Well, good job on getting acknowledged for your your art, your craft. You are very talented. And I'm sure lots of people feel that way. So I don't know why this nigga telling you.
SPEAKER_00:Don't disregard my dance moves.
SPEAKER_04:I dance, nigga, you was. It was giving Annie. Are you okay? It's okay. It's okay.
SPEAKER_03:Why do you niggas over here say something?
SPEAKER_05:Oh, I'll just I'll just say in my win. Uh last night, why not? Put some fires out, like legit. I thought you were gonna say something else. I don't know what you think I was about to say.
SPEAKER_03:Ho, whole heart stopped. I said, Oh god, please. I said, this nigga take him out, you never know with these two niggas here.
SPEAKER_05:No, like literal fires. Like I put some fires out. Oh, yeah, yeah. Something caught on fire. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Jesus.
SPEAKER_04:Even a dangerous job. I'm glad that you're okay and you were able to put the fires out. When was your win? Hurry up, dingha.
SPEAKER_06:Damn. My only win uh this week was uh uh me successively fighting uh the urge to binge uh 24 packs of Oreos at the same time.
SPEAKER_04:That's a good win. That's a good win, cup, baby. Let me tell you.
SPEAKER_06:If I eat one, I gotta eat 20.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:That's damn.
SPEAKER_06:So that's good. That's good. You gotta eat, you eat three open in the pack. That's just to make sure they're not stale. Then you gotta get the serving, which is another 17.
SPEAKER_00:I drove by insomnia cookies. You kept driving? I kept driving.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. That's a good win. That's a good win.
SPEAKER_06:You are a strong individual because two months ago when we dropped her nephew off. I recall. And we totally walked right in that motherfucker and said, give me them four of them oatmeal cookies. Because I don't give a fuck. I'm eating them cookies.
SPEAKER_05:What do those four oatmeal cookies cost?
SPEAKER_06:It was about$12.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_06:$12. Cookies are good as shit, though.
SPEAKER_07:I get it.
SPEAKER_00:How much you say you gained? Four? Huh? How much did you say you gained back? Well, it just wasn't just the cookies.
SPEAKER_06:Okay. I also had a bison burger and some sweet potato fries with honey on them.
SPEAKER_05:I feel like you left you left all that out.
SPEAKER_04:Had you not asked, we would have been sticking it with yesterday of the case.
SPEAKER_00:That's what I thought.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, had you not asked.
SPEAKER_06:And then my daughter won yogurt land. You know, it was the the day the day got out of control. That's neither here nor there. Just spiraled. You know, you know. But we we we bounced back.
SPEAKER_00:So per se, how much would you say the oatmeal cookies played? In in the calls? I shouldn't ask because I'm gonna. She had a whole ass bison burger.
SPEAKER_04:Well, you just go have two. Go have one or two. Just have one.
SPEAKER_00:You can't have one or two. No.
SPEAKER_06:And then motherfucking cookies, you can't have one or two.
SPEAKER_00:You can play bitch, give me the dozen. You start denying. Yeah, you start playing the whole really that bad. Bitch, give me the dozen. Because I go get a dozen today.
SPEAKER_04:Not finna do this with you. What was your win? I didn't cuss my husband out this week.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_06:I don't believe that shit at all.
SPEAKER_04:I didn't cuss him out this week.
SPEAKER_06:I did not believe that shit at all.
SPEAKER_04:I did not cuss him out this week. I can we call him ask him? Yeah, I don't give a fuck. Call that nigga and ask what you need to. I didn't cuss him out this week. I won't be cussing him out for the foreseeable future because he's leaving. So ain't no need to cuss no more, nigga. You finna do what I need to do. He finna be going to the fucking eternity. You got that. Don't come back over here. He done made me so, man. I'm about to sleep with his baby mama just so his son should smart me down. God damn it.
SPEAKER_05:Okay, so let's start this episode. Let's get into it, dude. Because the petty is uh that was crazy.
SPEAKER_04:Mic drop. Uh so we're we're gonna get into some rapid fire questions. Um, Sharon, for these ones, I'll just ask questions and you guys just give me the topic, top of your mind answer, okay? Okay. Um, and I'm gonna start on this side since I started. Thank you. Yeah, it's gonna kick down a little bit. I'm not gonna do it. Okay, Kevin. Um, would you live on a planet that was all men? Yep, let's go.
SPEAKER_02:That doesn't sound fun. Let's go.
SPEAKER_05:Like, let's go. It would be fun, but you miss out on a lot of things.
SPEAKER_04:Once you guys, once you guys pause. Hell yeah. Pause. Uh that's a screeching hold. Pause ain't enough. Once you guys answer this question, I'll I'll tell you why I asked you at the end. After everyone.
SPEAKER_05:No, I don't want to live with just niggas, right? Period. It's hell no.
SPEAKER_00:You uh the three men here? Yeah, we're all we all are in agreement.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, would you live on a planet with just with all women? No. The reason I asked is because I it was cultivated from something I seen online, and they asked like a hundred men, would they live on a planet with all men? And all the niggas said no. Soon as they asked the women, would you would you live on a planet with all women? All them bitches, yes.
SPEAKER_01:But absolutely not.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, it'd be bitches. I live in a house with all females. Okay, okay, so get perspective. And I leave whenever I can. Me too. Well, no, because I mean my kids, I I only I only have daughters, and so I have a perspective.
SPEAKER_06:A lot of attitude.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, a lot of emotion, a lot of shit to have to navigate all the time. So I think men, you don't really have to other than well, that yeah. I'm going in a I'm gonna go in a rabbit hole if I go down there. But it's okay, you're gonna get to go there today. To like navigate as much with men, it's kind of like it's straightforward, and I think I would want some of that straightforwardness in my life.
SPEAKER_06:You got your woman. She didn't say the studs weren't gonna be there. That's true. That's true.
SPEAKER_04:Touche, my nigga. The studs will be in attendance. I couldn't live on a planet with that's funny. No, I couldn't live on a planet with all women either. With my experience in dating women, you a nigga. This gonna say for real. Uh this is gonna sound fucked up, but with my experience with dating women, when a man makes me mad, I know I can't beat his ass. But when a woman makes me mad, I'm slight as ho. So it just, I don't think it's for my safety in theirs. Yeah, I wouldn't say that's why I wouldn't date females. Yeah, no, because domestic violence will be a real turn. It's a real thing, it's a real thing, and people will lie to you and be like, oh no, everything's just you know, lolly dotty. No, bitch, I'm sliding you because you're not gonna keep on playing with me. The the energy I be wanting to slide on some of these niggas, I'll pop a bitch. So I just it doesn't work for me. So that's why I don't date them no more. You shooting people? I will. Damn. No problem. I put in the trunk on nigga, bro. Because sometimes it's necessary.
SPEAKER_05:Don't say that shit on camera no more. Stop that.
SPEAKER_06:What are we doing? No. The words are des or those are des and her alone.
SPEAKER_04:I don't want nobody.
SPEAKER_06:Sheriff department.
SPEAKER_04:Anyways, let's go. Me fly. Would you date yourself?
SPEAKER_00:No.
SPEAKER_04:Would you? Hell yeah. I'm great. Would you date yourself?
SPEAKER_05:Oh, me, I'm a basket case. That's probably a no.
SPEAKER_06:I mean, I feel like I already have from the age of one to 15. Uh-huh. I know myself really well.
SPEAKER_05:That's not a that's not a that's not a date, my friend. That's not a date.
SPEAKER_00:That's a one handstand.
SPEAKER_02:I thought I know my one handstand, yes. That a reaction.
SPEAKER_06:I know me. I know what I like. Yeah. And I can cook everything I like to eat too.
SPEAKER_01:So I mean that's so funny.
SPEAKER_06:And I can give I can give my titties back. I'll just give them once.
SPEAKER_04:What's up, Des? Uh y'all get on my nerve for oh god. That's an honest answer. It's very, yeah. That's an honest answer. You're very good. I feel like I'm a pretty cool dude. You alright? Uh-huh. You're right. Yeah. I ain't gotta convince myself to give it up. I personally wouldn't date myself. That's not a nice. So really? Yeah. I'm nice to re I'm nice until you piss me off. Well, no, I mean I me too. I'm an actual problem. I'm a whole issue. At the same time, like, I don't know. I feel like, damn, I'm now I feel like I'm trying to analyze my answer. Because I feel like I would I feel like I I mean it's too late.
SPEAKER_05:Rapid fire.
SPEAKER_04:No, no, no. So here, so here, let me give you, let me give you perspective. Let me give you perspective. So I am, I I see now that you probably gathered, I'm going through a divorce. And in the divorce, I realized not only where he's a problem, but where I've made mistakes. So at this stage, where I'm still growing, I I wouldn't date myself. Okay. But I are but I also am fully aware that I got a lot of shit. He's so annoying. I need to work on myself. Okay. Now let me go on record as saying I am not the problem as to why I am getting a divorce. That nigga did it. But my reaction to shit could have been different. I mean, and we all do that. I've already am divorced. I'm like, how do I say that? I've come through a divorce because it wasn't challenging. Like, nigga, bye. But I'm divorced now, right? And so same thing. I've kind of I've gone through the the healing and the knowing yourself and all that type of stuff. And even on my bad days, I still feel like I'm solid. And that's good. You know what I'm saying? So I I get, I get it. But yeah, yeah. I'm not putting out on my answer. I would date me. Yeah, you should.
SPEAKER_06:I'm not laughing at you, but I'm not laughing at you, but the way you said nigga, bye was hilarious.
SPEAKER_03:Go now, nigga. Go on here, nigga. Like dismiss nigga. Class is over.
SPEAKER_04:But but woman to woman, I feel that so organically. When you said that I feel that so organically. I feel a lot wrapped up in that. And I have to, you know what? I have to be cautious when I do shit like that because I really feel like people don't give my experience in that the um, I know you weren't laughing at me. I'm not doing this for you, but I'm saying like I peep, I feel like people in general, like people that that have known that I was married and now I'm no longer married, they don't give that the reverence for what I actually went through because my normal, or not normal, my reaction now to it after coming through it is like goodbye. It's like you know what I'm saying? Like I'm I'm I'm over that. But it was a real crazy and a crazy situation in the midst of the relationship. So that's what I'm saying. You know what's crazy?
SPEAKER_06:You gotta understand that people don't ever uh uh uh acknowledge the process, they won't see the end result. Amen.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, yes, that's true. I didn't even know Mountain Top, they don't see your valleys. I didn't even notice you had gone through the divorce until, and this is so crazy because it kind of inspired me in a way because I noticed that I saw you get married, and then I didn't really, I don't really be looking on people's page like that. So maybe that's why I didn't notice. But then I start seeing your ass winning. I done got a promotion at work. This is what's going on here. I'm on a vacation. I'm like, wait a minute. So then I looked at your page and I was like, uh-huh, that nigga gone, gone, girl, gone, hey girl. Touched. There's a trend here. And I was like, oh Lord, please let it be me next. Yeah, you know what? And I appreciate that because I don't, I feel like, I mean, for lack of better words, I'm not messy. Yeah. So on the days where it was really bad, I'm not gonna be on the internet like this motherfucking has a nerf. Like, that's not that's not me. That's not, I'm not like like that by design. So the outcome is what people have seen. So I can't really be mad at people for not really understanding what it was like because that's all you see. You see, you know, the the internet is a highlight reel. We don't see all the reels exactly. So, I mean, I get it when people don't understand it from even how you just painted that timeline right there. Because it's just like, okay, my kids, like, we doing stuff or whatever. Like, cuz not around no more. I'm sorry. I shouldn't say that.
SPEAKER_00:No, I say cuz every two episodes, yeah, all the time. Every two episodes.
SPEAKER_04:I was starting to get into it. Everybody's cuz around here. You get it? Um, he's not around anymore, obviously, but but yeah, regardless, we won't go into the whole thing. Yeah, no, but I appreciate you saying that because truthfully, it's just like, you know, it was a hard situation. I get it. It's like when you come out of that, you were supposed to come out of that because then you start seeing, like, oh, okay, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Exactly. Like, and the wins look good on you. And I'm the same way. I don't really, I don't necessarily tell you what my husband did. I will tell you he pissed me off, but I will tell you where I fucked up because I'm only responsible for me. Amen. So I won't dog him like that. He no one really knows what he's done. So I just leave that up to speculation. But I I'll tell you where I fuck up at any day, because yeah, not nobody's business.
SPEAKER_01:It's not no, it's really not. None of anything, it's really not.
SPEAKER_06:I'm not dodging on T. Well, yeah, of course.
SPEAKER_04:But you can tell me though. I feel you on that too, actually. I'm always a listening ear. You just really like, thank you. You just really what? Anyways, in your perspective, do you think that men and women truly need each other?
SPEAKER_06:Absolutely. I mean, we can't have we can't make no one here without you. Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_04:Not just for procreation either. Did you hear this nigga on the side of me? Can we say can we make that clear?
SPEAKER_06:I'm just I'm just I just take it down to the bare necessity.
SPEAKER_04:In general, we do need each other. Oh my god. Here's one for you. What's your favorite hairstyle to see on women?
SPEAKER_06:Oh, you know, I love me a black woman with an afro.
SPEAKER_04:I know.
SPEAKER_06:Or the pineapple. What's the pineapple? You know where they where they do the shit, the little bun shit, and it's just not the 90s anymore. Oh, hey, hey, hey, look here. Look here.
SPEAKER_04:That's so crazy. The pineapple.
SPEAKER_06:Hey.
SPEAKER_04:What's your favorite hairstyle to see on a whole?
SPEAKER_05:I got no favorite. Yo, if your hair looks a certain way, it depends on how that go, but having said basically, let me translate.
SPEAKER_06:This nigga said, as long as he can pull it. Right.
SPEAKER_04:Can we can we dissect that answer?
SPEAKER_05:He said if your hair look a certain kind of way, I was like, if you if you got like an egghead or something, like your hair, you can't just have anything. You can have a bald ass head like with an egghead. Like, that's not a good look. What you got against the color that's like? I never said that.
SPEAKER_04:Like, I don't have a shape. He's right though. No, your head shape plays a significant role in your choice of hairstyle.
SPEAKER_00:I didn't know because I wasn't. There was uh you know the thing about Leon Thomas? The head shape? No, look it up. I realized he keeps his hair a certain way.
SPEAKER_04:That's just saying, You guys don't remember him from the show that he was on? I never uh uh uh that's the nigga who's the dog in the mud, right? iCarly, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, that's him.
SPEAKER_04:You are hilarious. I think it was iCarly. Was he on iCarly?
SPEAKER_02:Girl, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:I've never seen it.
SPEAKER_04:Victorious Victorious, okay, all the same stuff. Um he looked hella funny. I never seen none of that shit. He looked like a whole nother nigga now.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, on TikTok, they they uh summed it up as that he was left on his head a lot of baby. So that's why he keeps his hair, so he has a flat head, but we all got black moms, I'ma say, right?
SPEAKER_04:Y'all don't remember hearing that? You don't you gotta shake the baby's head? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01:I'm like, yeah, that's a real thing.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, I'm I'm I'm well versed in all nigga shit.
SPEAKER_01:So I concur all the nigga shit.
SPEAKER_00:Certain hairstyles are for certain hair shapes for sure. That's for sure. That's for sure.
SPEAKER_04:Well versed in nigga shit is hilarious. I feel it though. I am too. Okay, um you uh me. You mean you give away one bro code secret? Would you say bro code? Don't do that shit. The secret is you don't give away broco secrets. Give away one. Give us one. Give us one.
SPEAKER_05:Oh man, that's an easy one. That's an easy one. That's an easy one, right?
SPEAKER_02:That's it.
SPEAKER_05:That's not really a secret. Okay. The broken broke. You know, broco secret?
SPEAKER_02:Oh, I can drink you some of them, I'm gonna take a real snow like to make sure a broke ho because I'm like, is that what we're talking about? Yeah, hold on.
SPEAKER_05:Hey, we all been down that road before shit. Broken was wild.
SPEAKER_04:What did you actually say? Asked him to give away one bro code. Oh shit.
SPEAKER_06:We don't talk about fight club.
SPEAKER_02:You're funny as hell. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_04:I'm sorry, that's what this is all about. You're funny as hell. Okay. Bro one, come on.
SPEAKER_00:The secret, that's the secret. No, you have to give me one. Many things.
SPEAKER_04:Give me one, McFly. Give me a bro code secret. What did she think this was? I'm gonna ask. Everybody understands me, but you're everybody understand me, but you nigga. He over here midway answering, and you over here talking about broke ho. So it's either my words or your ears, nigga.
SPEAKER_03:I don't know which one. But it's either my words or your ears.
SPEAKER_06:I was about to say some shit. Can I say had I said that shit?
SPEAKER_04:No.
SPEAKER_06:But I was I was thinking it. No, you wouldn't.
SPEAKER_04:Oh my god. No, you wouldn't. Please don't try to piggyback off her jokes. I like her. I was what's sad is that I heard broke ho. That's all right. That's sad. That's all right. That's okay. We talk about these niggas, so it might have just lied to lie. It might have just a lie.
SPEAKER_01:Just niggas, huh? Crazy. Sorry.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:That messed up the tone a little bit. No, that's true.
SPEAKER_00:The only bro code I know is I don't speak uh, but it's just in general people's business. Like that's their business, that's their business to talk about.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:That's all.
SPEAKER_04:You niggas are so give give a girl code secret. I would rather give a bro code. Go ahead. No, I'm just kidding. Um a girl code secret. I mean, I I don't I I like not tell. Can I do that? I'm sorry. Can I just yeah, you can take it back off of him? I'm not gonna tell nobody business. I'm not gonna tell nobody business. I and I also just I'm not gonna get in nobody's business. Does that make sense? Yeah, like that's you. Yeah, like that's cool. If you want to tell me, you can tell me, but that's that's for you, homeboy.
SPEAKER_05:Now I ain't the one that gossip. Yeah. Ignant ass. My favorite is when motherfuckers gossip on themselves.
SPEAKER_04:I'm like, oh, okay, thanks. This is for yeah, but that'd be the people like how what they say if somebody done told you all of somebody else's business, you can't be like, damn, you're about to tell everything. Everything I just gave me. Yeah, it just it speaks loudly.
SPEAKER_05:I learned when someone says, I hate drama. You like, mmm, they love drama. You the first one.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, because you're very experienced in it. Yeah. Um, I think my girl code would probably be I don't lay where where my female friends have laid. I'm not fucking with no niggas that what's funny, bitch.
SPEAKER_05:Well, that's what the bro code is, but that's not a secret.
SPEAKER_04:That's what I'm saying. These ain't that's just regular shit. Talk to these females. They need to be oh, niggas is doing it too, though.
SPEAKER_01:They need to be reminded. Everybody does that. What you mean?
SPEAKER_06:Don't say everybody, uh, don't say everybody. Don't put me in that shit.
SPEAKER_04:He finna give you the speech about how his wife is black and she don't play no games. Don't put me that shit.
SPEAKER_05:Don't put me in that shit. No, white women don't either. I'm I'll probably die.
SPEAKER_04:Hey, she's thicker than a sneaker, girl. That's that's her thing.
SPEAKER_03:Thank you. That's it. Go, girl.
SPEAKER_06:I was like, oh, she went back to the house.
SPEAKER_03:I said, well, go.
SPEAKER_06:See, that's girl code. Yeah. Because I couldn't say that shit. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_00:I guess that's it. I guess that's the guy could say that. I wouldn't want to.
SPEAKER_06:I can't be like, man, Kevin, your wife is thicker shit.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. It'd be a bro code secret. That there's a bro code, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:There we go. We're un un uh what is it, unleashing them. It probably wouldn't have stopped you from saying it because God knows you say some outlandish shit out your mother's mouth anyway. I wouldn't say that shit.
SPEAKER_01:She's respectful though.
SPEAKER_04:I wouldn't say that shit. She is. Well, you before it 27 minutes. I call her, I call her you need to go back and look at the previous episodes. This nigga talked shit to you. No, period. No, period.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, I wasn't here the last couple of hours. Well, he was, I get it. I wasn't even here.
SPEAKER_03:And he's only being nice to you because you only been here one day. Yeah. I'm nice to everybody.
SPEAKER_06:And uh I have been mean to her. I have been uh mean to Kevin's wife. I call her a nigga every time I see her.
SPEAKER_04:No, he told her she had an endearment. No, he told her she had the Karen hairstyle.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, I did say that shit. Well, she did, though. Kevin laughed at that shit too.
SPEAKER_04:No.
SPEAKER_06:What is the Karen hairstyle? I'll show you a picture.
SPEAKER_05:Okay. She didn't have the there's actually seven.
SPEAKER_04:She looked the cute with her little bob.
SPEAKER_05:She didn't have the little flare thing. But she do got a little Karen in her. I use that shit too, though.
SPEAKER_04:You are so funny.
SPEAKER_02:Hell yeah. Why not?
SPEAKER_04:That's funny. What does white woman use? You are so stupid. In dating, in dating or in marriages, um, what role do you think healing plays with having a successful relationship? That is the ultimate role. Yeah, on both ends. Yeah. Like you have to okay, so healing. Healing is a journey, not a destination. That's my little clinical term when talking about it. But you have to be constantly healing, basically. And then without going too far down, but I think that it plays like the ultimate role in being successful in a relationship because people just be holding shit and not really like working through it. Whatever your archetype tells you to do to work through it, but if you're just holding shit all day long, guess what you're about to do? You're about to project that on the closest person to you, which is the relationship. So you have to be healing every single day. Absolutely. I always say healing isn't linear. It's not because you'll be thinking you're perfect, and then boom, something triggers you. Well, and then not even just triggers you. We live in a crazy As life, so you could have a whole new. I'm 37 years old. I can say that I've healed through X, Y, and Z. And then here come J at 40. Where the fuck this comes from? That's a whole nother process that I have to now heal through that I I've never even been through this, on top of having to deal with triggers and stuff like that. So healing has to be like a part of your your makeup, your every single day. Yeah. Definitely. Gentlemen.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:I agree with what she said.
SPEAKER_05:We know. It um it works when both of you guys do it.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Cause like when one Cause like we're we're kind of doing that now, like with me doing all this and therapy and all that stuff. Like, I'm just being a lot more open with her and just saying shit. That it is like, well, how's anybody gonna fucking know if you don't say nothing? So it's like you can't expect somebody to read your mind.
SPEAKER_06:So it's like you huh? You told her about the cooking?
SPEAKER_05:Oh the other day I did.
SPEAKER_04:This nigga did not. This nigga did not.
SPEAKER_05:But most of the time she's good. But the other day she was like, I'm like, what the fuck? You missed the whole cheese.
SPEAKER_03:And then this nigga agreed to it. Like, yeah, nigga, I did have to tell her a little bit.
SPEAKER_05:Like it was a cheese and chicken casserole.
SPEAKER_06:And I was like, You forgot to put cheese in there. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on. So so his wife and my wife, they've been hanging it out and talking. So you think them niggas ain't talking about us?
SPEAKER_05:Oh, yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_06:Talking about it. No, I'm not on the internet talking about it.
SPEAKER_05:That's why they meet up.
SPEAKER_06:None of this shit on the internet.
SPEAKER_02:We're not talking about you on the internet.
SPEAKER_06:Make sure you make that shit a clip. And to reference what McFly said, I'm still mad about the goddamn bagel.
SPEAKER_05:He's still mad with this bagel. Well, we can you could you live closer? I should have got one that day.
SPEAKER_00:The cooking thing keeps coming up.
SPEAKER_05:She's learning, man. Like she's getting better. She's getting way better. But you know.
SPEAKER_04:Now that she forgot the cheese and the fucking chicken and cheese around.
SPEAKER_05:She's getting better. That's okay. It was the chicken was done. You cook.
SPEAKER_04:Baby steps. You know what else though?
SPEAKER_06:You cook. The nigga said the chicken was done.
SPEAKER_01:You gotta acknowledge the small window.
SPEAKER_06:The nigga said the chicken was that should be bare minimum. You cook. And there was seasoning.
SPEAKER_04:Oh boy.
SPEAKER_05:She white. She did it. She white. Oh fuck.
SPEAKER_04:Leave my friend and I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_05:We're not gonna talk bad about her. She's cool.
SPEAKER_04:She's cool.
SPEAKER_05:But like in turn, without me doing my stuff, she's like doing it all with me, too. Like, she's like, oh, okay. So like, and there's we had a uh an argument about I don't remember what the hell it was, but then she was like, I've been doing this, and I was like, Oh, well, that's cool. Like, I'm so we're work trying this together. So it's it's pretty that's so cool. It kind of brings us closer. So I think it plays a huge role. Yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_04:I love that you acknowledge that you guys are healing together. Yeah, because that makes a big difference to you. Because a lot of times when you're already in a relationship, people think that you have to individually heal, but you and you do, but healing together also makes a big difference in my perspective. So I like that he acknowledged that they're healing.
SPEAKER_06:My question was why you say healing like that.
SPEAKER_04:I heard it. You what you're not gonna do is because she told me something about the way I say my words. You have to understand. I've been knowing this woman long enough for her to be able to say those things to me because she been knowing me since I had fucking pigtails. You, my nigga, are new. You cannot be talking shit to me because I had her ass say something. Do not do what she do, she got a different path with me.
SPEAKER_05:We gotta get the rewind on that one.
SPEAKER_04:Thank you very much. This lady knows some of my damn relatives. This is a different situation.
SPEAKER_06:This is gonna be funny. That's the first time I live I heard a hard H.
SPEAKER_03:Ain't nobody finna be Ain't nobody No, I swear to God, or my biggest hater.
SPEAKER_04:Please go ahead and answer the question before I beat this nigga up.
SPEAKER_03:I'm gonna tase you.
SPEAKER_00:I think in order to have that comfort level with in a relationship with a significant other is important, which leads to the healing with each other, then in turn leads to you guys constantly healing because you feel comfortable to confide in one another and and pour into one another and get to that point where it becomes very crucial and it's very integral to growth. That's how I'll leave it.
SPEAKER_06:I say I I agree with what you said, but I also say that healing is individual. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The other person can't dictate your healing. Yes, so you have to do the work within yourself first, and then I think the hardest part about healing, especially when you're trying to do it with someone else, is that when they're not healing at the same pace or you or on the same timing as you. So now you gotta have understanding and uh and empathy because you may be at a level that they're not at in that at that present time, and that may that may actually cause more conflict or more contradiction with within your own personal feelings because now you're dealing with feeling uh the feeling of being in in a place by yourself. Because you might feel that, oh, they're not even uh trying to heal because just because they might be attempting to heal, they they're just not healing at the rate that you are.
SPEAKER_05:I think that's nuanced too. Because everybody heals like different, yeah. And it's like tough. When you look at like you might think somebody's not what the fuck, I'm doing this, and it's like they're healing, but it's just it looks different. So, like, yeah, that's where the empathy is.
SPEAKER_06:But yeah, my thing is like you're not, it's not, it's not necessarily you're gonna be on the same level. Yeah, or or or or at the same place at the same time, and we're all different.
SPEAKER_04:That's why I don't I wish that people like I feel like when you really come to know yourself, you really start to look at the the this vast differences that we all have, like literally completely different. Like I always think about like how they you we know that a thumbprint, like nobody has the same thumbprint, right? Nobody has the same thumbprint of their being, their makeup. So whatever I may be doing, and everything could be working excellent. And I'm just like, hey, look, try this, and they're like, fuck that. Because they're completely different. Yeah, that's why I like that's that's my philosophy on advice. I don't I don't believe in advice. I feel like you can take game from somebody from their experience or their wisdom that they're giving you, but it's only because it resonates with you. Like when people try to give you advice because it worked for them, that doesn't that's not advice because it worked for you. That doesn't mean that it's gonna be my actual path that I need to go, you know? So I agree with that.
SPEAKER_05:The only time I give advice is when I'm like, it's the shit I fucked up. Hey, you might not want to do this.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, no, for real. Yeah, I agree with that. And as far as healing, I nigga, I'm still healing, so I can't every day. You're doing good. Thanks. Thank you. Okay, it's okay, because this should be hard, okay? Because because I fall short in the area of having the grace for somebody when they're not healing at the same time as me. That I fall short there because I get to get like, okay, nigga, you don't want to grow.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, so I think a lot of times for you personally, your healing is combating your attitude at the same time. No. Because you want to turn up. No, you can't turn up and heal. No.
SPEAKER_03:The theory.
SPEAKER_04:I won't give too much detail about my divorce, but this I will say with y'all, probably. It probably is probably what's going on, but with my husband, no, because I know what he's battling, and I put myself at the front line for a long time to kind of to kind of take on the bullshit that he was gonna give because I knew what he was going through and what he was battling. So I do give him a lot of grace. Look, the attitude y'all see me have, I do not necessarily have with him because I didn't intend on being another thing that tore that man down.
SPEAKER_06:So, no. Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna believe everything you said, but I have a follow-up question. Why then why the fuck I get the smoke? Because you deserve it.
SPEAKER_04:Because you could you slend it, you slide it over here, nigga. I just gotta fan it back to you because I don't be knowing who the fuck you be talking to. Like, I do not nigga, I'm from East Rib, nigga, and I keep having to tell you that shit. I don't know who you be talking to.
SPEAKER_06:It should. I married Watts. I don't give a fuck, nigga.
SPEAKER_04:I'm originally from LA, nigga, 48th to Central, cuz I do not care. So I don't know who you be talking to.
SPEAKER_03:I don't know who you be.
SPEAKER_04:Nigga, I don't give a fuck. I love them when they not scared. Because then I get to come with the element of surprise. I love it.
SPEAKER_05:Hey guys.
SPEAKER_04:She always wants to fight. I did, I guess.
SPEAKER_05:Next topic.
SPEAKER_04:You, you, you this is gonna be the last question because you're about to have me act up and we in front of the company, and I done already said I didn't want to act up in front of the company.
SPEAKER_03:Just keep on fucking with me, okay? I know.
SPEAKER_04:In it in a world where men have redefined masculinity, I'm gonna ask you, Sharon. Everybody can answer, but I want to ask you first. Um, do you think that men have gone too far into their femininity? Or do you feel like they need to that it is balanced now? Are you asking if niggas be acting like bitches? Politely, I am. Okay. I'm just playing. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. That's crazy. I was kidding, guys. These three know I ain't never talking about them. Yeah, I'm not. These are some good ass black men.
SPEAKER_06:So I got so I'm a bitch. I'm a bitch because I like getting the pedicure.
SPEAKER_04:No, no, no. No, no. That was really my it was you you so beautifully stated that question. Thank you. But you know.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, I see why she wants you here.
SPEAKER_04:No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. First of all, I was I I did I I was told she was cutting. I said, okay, cool, because I knew she was a vibe. Okay. Thank you. I appreciate that. Um how have they redefined? Give me an example of how men have redefined their masculinity. So I kind of feel like a lot of men nowadays think that they are the prize.
SPEAKER_03:That nigga looked all the way up at me. Bitch, I am the prize, bitch. And you see me. I'm a sex sible, bitch.
SPEAKER_02:I just already bitch.
SPEAKER_04:That nigga said, bitch, I'm a sex sible when I've been telling you all much.
SPEAKER_05:I don't think I could do let you have that. I think that men and women both is doing that and ain't nobody working.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. I think that's why I'm like kind of I'm conflicted on my answer. Okay. To be honest with you. Okay. Um, because the tone of things, and that was a good example. The tone of things are, oh, the men, like, you're the prize too, or whatever. But it reminds me of feminism. Not in a saying that men are feminine, but it reminds me of the like the actual feminist movement. Like, we had to regain, or not regain, we had to actually gain because we weren't even able to work and all that type of shit. Exactly. So I think that culturally we're mim, like men are now mimicking that. Like how women had to be like, we can work. I hate that they ever wanted to do that, but I could beat their ass. They're like, we can work, we can do all of the same thing. So now I think that just the shift in culture is now making men claim something that wasn't historically theirs, whatever that looks like. Um, I think that the internet is really loud and annoying, and it makes us see it to not necessarily how it genuinely is. And that's where I'm conflicted with that answer because truthfully, I think it's all what's being like put in front of us. Like, men are men are like, or what what do you bring to the table? I don't really know a lot of men that are thinking like that. Yeah. Me personally. I don't know a lot of men that are coming to me like, well, what do you bring to the table? I don't know that to be true in my life. I do know the tone that you're talking about on the internet. I don't necessarily agree with that, but I feel like it's all like it's kind of like smoke and mirrors of things right now, you know. I know a few men that think that they're the prize. Really? Yeah, I do. Big fly. I have heard men say you the prize me fly. I have heard men say that. However, I'm a gift pride. I think it's a balance. I think we live in a time that's completely different than what our grandparents and even our parents lived in. And we we ain't in the economy where where an everyday average man has to always pay everything. Little help ain't never hurt no damn body. And I think that men are the prize, and women are the prize as well. I think as a human being, you are the prize. You are the prize. That's what I need to say. That's what like that was the tone of what I was thinking. I just didn't say it. I definitely think it's a balance. If you got a good man and he's treating you right and he's doing those things that you need, he's speaking your love language and you're able to speak his, both of y'all the damn prize. Both of y'all done one, both of y'all done looked up. That's my perspective on it. People gotta stop looking. So, okay, so when you get involved with a person, just analyze that for what you and that person are. I agree. Don't think about like me personally, if I go on a if I'm going in a dating relation or dating situation, you know, I don't even know how to say that. In a dating date somebody. I don't know how ever it come out, girl. However it come out. But you're not gonna be telling me that Nessia, you can't get that damn sickness.
SPEAKER_05:That's fair.
SPEAKER_04:Like, girl, what are you talking about? If I date somebody, right? I will have I will allow usually if a man takes me out, he wants to pay. Obviously, I hope. If if we go on a few dates, I kind of have like a self little rule for myself. If I like the third date, if I really like the person and I want to keep doing this, I'll pay. I will too. I will too. Second or third, depending on how much, well, not second or third. Can you talk to my wife? That's your wife. But that shit don't, yeah. Once if they pay you, like by the third day, and I have me kind of be like, girl, like what are you doing? But it's really that's me trying to set out the tone. Like, exactly. I'm not out to just get something from you, but I've also been in situations, if I'm being transparent right now, where I didn't really like them a lot, and I don't do this anymore. But if I didn't, if I don't really like you and I'm just going because you want to take me out, I'll let you pay every time. Cause do do what you're doing. I don't really care. Okay, but it's like about establishing something. So I say all of that to say like you have to kind of establish what you're gonna establish with that person, and you guys come to know each other for what that is. Stop listening to the internet, yeah. Stop, you know, like I can't stand. I wouldn't even, I don't even listen to people that are in relationships that I don't desire to have a relationship like that. With you, if your nigga is fucked up and you fucked up to this nigga, please don't give me relationship advice. I really don't want to hear that shit. I I definitely because I'm one that don't care about paying 50-50 either. Like, I don't care about that shit, nigga. As long as these bills get paid, whoever got the fucking lights today got the fucking lights. I don't care. I just want the motherfuckers on. I just I'm for me, you're stupid. For me, you've already said that tone though. That was I'm gonna say, and and you can correct me if I'm wrong, but what did I just say about establishing what it is?
SPEAKER_05:I'm just playing.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, exactly. For me, it's no, she ain't got a pay.
SPEAKER_05:I never seen this nigga stand down that fast. She staying. It was this right here.
SPEAKER_02:I should have put my staying.
SPEAKER_04:You set that tone. That's what y'all have established. You'd be crazy as hell to come in your house and be like, god damn it, we 50-50 now. Exactly. I mean, we got one account.
SPEAKER_05:So that's what I'm saying. That's one of those.
SPEAKER_04:There you go. Thanks. There you go. That is y'all established. Exactly.
SPEAKER_06:She buy all the groceries.
SPEAKER_04:But it's like, okay, 50-52. Like, is it really 50-50? Like, I I've been in the serious relationships I've been in, I can say that I made more money. But collectively, we make more than what I make, right? Yeah. Because whatever. Yeah. And I'm fine with that. Because shit, I I was making this, but now, who, baby, we got this now. Like, I'm good with that. That's how I feel. Exactly. So it's not really an, but it gets a little tricky when you start seeing that motherfucker spend more money than you. Cause then it's like, oh yes. Wait a minute, hold on. Or spend irresponsibly. That's when it's that's that's when it's different for me when you're spending irresponsibly. I forgot.
SPEAKER_06:I mean, BC is not irresponsible.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, marriage comes up. You gotta just open up a whole video game shit. It's video game shit.
SPEAKER_00:Oh.
SPEAKER_04:We also know that virtual currency. We also know that you financially take care of your house, so don't nobody caring about you. It might as well be. It might as well be. I'm just talking about. We also know you financially take care of your house, so you should be able to buy all the VCs you feel like you're gonna buy because you could shit paid up. What you established with that person, exactly.
SPEAKER_06:It looked paid up.
SPEAKER_04:Payment plans are our friends. Period. They're mine. However, that shit get paid, it got paid. Okay. No, you may arrange with us. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Let me just say named baseball with a firm. Period. Period. Welcome back.
SPEAKER_06:Period. Not karma send me an email. We haven't seen you in a while.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I'm gonna say they start sending me emails of what's on sale.
SPEAKER_06:I just say this. I don't think men are women are the prize. Really? I think the prize is is the level of success the relationship uh management.
SPEAKER_04:Hey, where's your little hand clap thing? Do that. Do the little hand claps for it. No, that's real. Yeah. That's shit. He's right. That makes sense. Absolutely right.
SPEAKER_06:That makes sense. Because if the whole goal of life is to find a partner, find someone to help you with and to grow with, you can't be the prize because you're you're trying to find somebody to work towards being whatever the ultimate symbol you're trying to be. So uh reaching that level of being whatever you're trying to attain together as a group is the prize. That's the prize.
SPEAKER_04:Amen. And this is what I mean when I say I sit up here with three good black men.
SPEAKER_05:I think some of the problem too is a lot of people don't like themselves, know themselves, are willing to uh to uh love themselves. They used to they try to use like relationships to define themselves. Yes. Oh my gosh, and like that's where like the mistake comes in because then that process, at some point, you're gonna have to figure out who the fuck you are.
SPEAKER_00:Hey, yeah, so I weren't at the massage therapist, I ain't no bitch. Well, they they because I almost sworn.
SPEAKER_06:You got that you got that strong motherfucker, you know.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, well, this has been episode 224 of the heavyweight podcast. I'm not doing anything else with these niggas today. We thank you for coming by. Make sure that you go birds! Fuck the birds, nigga cowboys. Anyways, anyways, start over.
SPEAKER_05:We gotta start the whole episode.
SPEAKER_04:Anyways, make sure that you thank you very much for coming. You were a delight. You are such a vibe. Yes, the fuck I can, nigga, because she ain't no nasty ass nigga. That's why I can say thank you very much for you take me out of character. Okay, I'll be trying to be cool, okay? Make sure you like, share, subscribe, all that shit. Until next time, peace. Peace. You really get on my nerves.
SPEAKER_05:That's rip, yo. That's that's how she rep. So make sure click like, subscribe. We're on the offspring platform. So until next time, we'll at you.
