The Heavyweight Collective
Welcome to *The Heavyweight Collective*, where every week, a dynamic group of four—“this lady and these three guys”—come together to discuss a wide range of topics that both warm the heart and nourish the soul. The Heavyweight Collective brings together four unique individuals, each with their own perspective, to engage in open and honest conversations about real-life situations. Whether you're in need of a good laugh to release some tension or you're seeking real answers to life’s tough questions, tune in to *The Heavyweight Collective* Whatever you're looking for, you’ll find it here.
The Heavyweight Collective
What is Legacy?
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Legacy isn’t about money or kids—it’s about impact, daily actions, and the stories people keep. This episode breaks down the gap between the legacy we want and the one we’re actually building. From fatherhood and therapy to creativity and community, we unpack what lasts—and why it matters. Tap in.
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People who look like we we gonna start a society within society, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:None of that's gonna be an episode.
SPEAKER_01:I was about to say they're gonna cut all of that out for sure.
SPEAKER_03:Why we gotta look dumb though? See, that's the shit I'll be talking about. I don't mind looking dumb.
SPEAKER_07:I always do winning.
SPEAKER_03:That's the shot we talking.
SPEAKER_07:I wake up looking dumb.
SPEAKER_03:The second she takes a shot, she changed. It's like it's like she she goes, she turned into uh she hoke and shit. She hoaked she turns take that shot, she get real rowdy. She turns into the savage, she get real rowdy. No, I don't.
SPEAKER_01:I just start having fun.
SPEAKER_03:Faron into savage.
SPEAKER_01:Turn it up.
SPEAKER_03:Hey.
SPEAKER_07:All right. You guys ready? Yeah. About the race I'm gonna get, nigga. All right, cool. That works for me. Um, how do I start this? Wait, doesn't it? How do I want to start this? Did you need to do something? Did I clap? No. No.
SPEAKER_03:I didn't clap, so we got none of that shit matter.
SPEAKER_02:Good.
SPEAKER_03:Damn, I fucked up.
SPEAKER_02:I don't think you clapped the first time. I did.
SPEAKER_01:Did you have a shot?
SPEAKER_03:I did.
SPEAKER_01:Huh? I said, did you have a shot?
SPEAKER_03:No, I need one though. I got I got more. It's from Brazil. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_07:I'm not talking about alcohol.
SPEAKER_01:Bring it back.
SPEAKER_07:That's could go pause. Yeah, pause.
SPEAKER_01:I never understand the pauses.
SPEAKER_07:It's when you say something cut.
SPEAKER_01:No, I know what you pause, but I just never know when they're applicable.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, you remember when they applicable. Because I'm not a guy. We don't pause.
SPEAKER_01:We don't say like, oh, she's bad. Pause. Like, no. You can just say some gay shit.
SPEAKER_03:It's cooler to be gay as a woman. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. It's when you said that. I said, because I was talking to my wife, I said, it's crazy that men could never get away with saying this shit to other men that women say to women. I said, I'm gonna start doing that. I'm gonna start a new trend. I'm gonna get on random niggas posts on IG and say, yeah, nigga, that chest really coming through, playing them workouts hitting.
SPEAKER_01:That was in uh y'all seen that part in in boomerang. Eddie Murphy is like, women can say, Oh, he looks nice. He's like, I can't just be like, oh, look at his shoulders.
SPEAKER_07:This shit ain't gonna fly. I think a compliment. I mean, thanks, man. Appreciate it. But most niggas gonna be like, hey, what you gain?
SPEAKER_03:Like, damn. I just I can't get a McFy work up, hey man, I'll see the ass gains. Well, that's that's different. That's different. You focusing on something different.
SPEAKER_01:It's like you can say, can you say that a man is attractive? I don't give a fuck.
SPEAKER_03:I hold on.
SPEAKER_01:I I got I was an attractive man to y'all.
SPEAKER_03:So I I I took flack for that recently because I posted a picture. I was in Vegas again, and I met my cousin. I said, uh I remember my cousin Craig, he really is a handsome, handsome man. And I took flack. Oh, what you what you really trying to say? I said, nigga, that my husband, that my cousin is fucking handsome. Like he's my cousin. I held this nigga as a baby.
SPEAKER_01:Like, what the nigga's handsome nigga's hands. What the handsome nigga saying a man is handsome.
SPEAKER_02:I can't give a fuck. I just say I I can acknowledge when I've seen her, like, yo, he gets he gets he gets woman.
SPEAKER_06:Somebody was saying the same thing.
SPEAKER_01:He's saying the same thing in a different way.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:We said it, we said, we said, you know, like niggas be like, look at them light eyes nigga over here pulling bitches. Like, well, you're just looking at his eyes. Like, look at look at this nigga with the curly hair old, hazel eyes niggas.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, y'all are saying that.
SPEAKER_03:Anytime another man calls a man pretty boy, he's saying that nigga.
SPEAKER_01:That's true.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, we're gonna say a different way.
SPEAKER_02:This is a roundabout way.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, yeah. This kind of goes along with what we're gonna talk about because we are all a sum of our past decisions.
SPEAKER_01:And don't put that shit on me.
SPEAKER_07:Ah, that's funny. This is gonna be good for you, and we're gonna love this.
SPEAKER_01:I don't want my past.
SPEAKER_07:Today we're gonna be talking about legacy, legacy, legacy. So before we get into this, welcome to the heavyweight collective. Everybody, introduce your names.
SPEAKER_01:I'm Sharon.
SPEAKER_07:Shabon Maluka.
SPEAKER_01:My little I'm Sharon.
SPEAKER_02:I feel like I was waiting for you to hear the savage part after.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like y'all don't like my name. So exciting! Go ahead. What's your name?
SPEAKER_07:I am uh Flow Sick of Pandemic. Flow Sick of Pandemic. Well, we are gonna start off episode 231. So uh we're gonna talk about legacy a little bit. I don't give a fuck about y'all weeks. I'm not even gonna. I respect it. I don't want to talk about it.
SPEAKER_01:I don't want to talk about my weeks.
SPEAKER_07:I don't want to talk about it, ain't nothing.
SPEAKER_01:Past is the past.
SPEAKER_07:Uh, we're gonna jump right in. Like, I'm not uh outside of your children, what would you guys think your legacy is right now?
SPEAKER_01:I think if we were to die today.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, that's yeah. Like what would we be remembered as? Yeah, nigga, what's the legacy? I think I'd be remembered as a man that loved his family and would do anything for him. And and if he fucked with you, he fucked with you. And if he didn't, you know. Because he'd tell your ass, I don't fuck with you.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, go home, go on from here. That is true. I remember when we met, he was like, You looked at you like I fuck with him.
SPEAKER_06:He will say it right in front of you.
SPEAKER_01:Sometimes you gotta do that.
SPEAKER_03:Like I told Sharon. Sharon's like, you're an asshole. I said, Yeah, I tell you all the time I'm an asshole, but I'm the same asshole every time you're it ain't nothing different. That's true. I think just don't don't don't be the asshole I don't like because then you really get the asshole. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, I was like, that's awesome. Here we go.
SPEAKER_01:Sweet.
SPEAKER_03:Who do you call him sweet, nigga?
SPEAKER_06:I thought she said sweet. I was like weak. Oh, she said weak. That's a nice one. I was like, who? Sweet. Yeah, we're here talking about assholes.
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_01:You can't say who would never call a man sweet.
SPEAKER_03:I'm gonna go home to my mama like this.
SPEAKER_06:What is that like? Right, man. You got the best dudes in here. Dude was about to go home a whole game. Biscuit, where you going? Oh shit.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that nigga can't. Don't cross that line. That's great. I love that movie so much, y'all. Okay, legacy. I think that I mean, same. Somebody love my family, love my kids, uh put forth a really good effort into this life that I have.
SPEAKER_03:And I don't think this is a fair question for her. Because she has carbon copies of herself at home.
SPEAKER_07:But I started out with outside of our kids.
SPEAKER_01:He said outside of it, my kids look pretty much like me.
SPEAKER_03:No, nigga, they are exact copies.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, I mean our kids are automatically part of our legacy.
SPEAKER_01:Our kids are so this is what's funny.
SPEAKER_07:As long as you're present, like you know what I mean.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's true. And that's what I'm gonna get at with legacy. But this is what's funny. When you look at the definition of legacy, it's like one of two things. You could be leaving um property, assets, whatever money. I ain't got none of that to leave right now. Just leave for the buck. None of that would be left at this point. I got a car, they still owe on it if they want it. But um I think that when you look at like, I think that my kids and my family and the people that I know, they would still be able to say the things that I say and and and honor me. And you know, my legacy kind of I I've left an imprint in my 37 years of life. So I do think that I have a legacy that would people would be able to carry on what I put out.
SPEAKER_02:Uh, lyricism and memes. That is my legacy.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, that's no, it is not.
SPEAKER_05:I mean, he we he we already know the children and shit, so he's saying outside of that.
SPEAKER_01:That's true.
SPEAKER_05:He do be memeing. I was memeing, I'll be to death.
SPEAKER_07:Uh for me, I guess my legacy, I feel like don't downplay. You lead of the gap band. This kind-hearted nigga. Like nigga, that's I'm not. He used to the backup drummer used to come to our elementary school, our middle school.
SPEAKER_01:From the gap band.
SPEAKER_07:From the gap band. I remember that nigga.
SPEAKER_01:I remember Charlie Wilson's dad used to be at like uh University Village. I'll never forget that.
SPEAKER_04:Doing what?
SPEAKER_01:Like sitting there. Like, I don't know if the nigga was there. I remember I'll never forget. I was like in middle school. It was all Charlie Wilson ain't young. I know. I I was in like middle school. This was like 20 years ago.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, Charlie Wilson was probably 60 then.
SPEAKER_01:No, no, I said Charlie Wilson's dad. I know. That's what I'm saying. But no, yeah, his dad, he was an older, older, older man. I'll never forget that. Because he I remember none of the other kids that I was with, he was talking saying, Yeah, my son, he toured the world and we'll do. I mean, I hope this man wasn't no crazy.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, I was like, this might not be for real. You might have just ran into some nigga who thought he was.
SPEAKER_01:No, I believed him. And he was like, Yeah, you know, my my son, he was a part of the gap band, and none of the other kids that I was with knew, but I knew exactly who it was. I grew up listening to the gap band and OJs and Teddy Pitt, all that. And um, yeah, that's crazy.
SPEAKER_07:Well, what I was saying about my legacy. I'm thinking I would be considered uh kind-hearted, somebody who uh looked out for people. Probably give you shirt off his back, even if he didn't fuck with you. Um and the smile of a fucking saint. Yeah, the gap that the gap is a smile of a saint. Shut up, nigga.
SPEAKER_03:I didn't disagree, nigga. I just, you know.
SPEAKER_02:I just yeah, I mean, last episode you did correlate that his gap made him friendly. So I could see that.
SPEAKER_07:People do walk up to me like that. I don't know. Like, I just have to welcome me. Some motherfucking state of brother. He's like, man, you gotta nice smile there, buddy. And it's like an old hippie. I was like, thanks, brother. Appreciate it.
unknown:Never mind.
SPEAKER_07:No, say it. Nah. Nah. Oh my god, I was canceled. Oh, you're about to say something off the wall. Yes. All right, so with that said, like with your legacy, what you would be now, what would you want your legacy to be from here on out?
SPEAKER_03:Then I'm like show enough, nigga.
SPEAKER_02:You got the glow?
SPEAKER_03:Got the glow. The baddest nigga to do it. Which am I the baddest? Show enough.
SPEAKER_02:More lyricism, more memes.
SPEAKER_08:Not more memes.
SPEAKER_01:Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You were serious.
SPEAKER_02:Oh I'm never serious about that. Um just uh trying to be, I guess, more open. So just honest, honestly or unapologet unapologetically me. That was a struggle.
SPEAKER_08:Unapologetically me.
SPEAKER_06:Like top Robin in the summer.
SPEAKER_01:I want I just I wanna, I mean, kind of like what I said, I want to leave my imprint here.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, but what do you want your imprint to be?
SPEAKER_01:Uh me. I mean shit. I think I think because I have okay full circle.
SPEAKER_03:Um you gotta start the circle first.
SPEAKER_06:She tried not to snort. Oh shit.
SPEAKER_01:I held it. We know um no, like I okay. So the people that I have that have passed in my family, you know, my grandparents, my dad, whoever, um my family, we we still say the things that they said and and do the things and we honor the things that they like. I can do something like my grandmother would get frustrated and be like, and I can do that, and one of my cousins will be like, okay, Hattie, like, you know, that type of stuff. Like, that's the type when I say the imprint, whatever is me. Like, and outside of my kids, when it comes to family, I remember um legacy speaks to me when I think about I mean just leaving an imprint speaks to me when I think about legacy because I remember when my grandmother passed away, she was 97. And a couple of months within less than a year after another lady that was elderly from our community, she passed away and she was like 101. Yeah. But it was like a a weird moment because they both um were such like prominent members of the community, and they it it was at the same their funeral was at the same um church, and it was a lot of the same people there, and just like so many people had so many things to say that was like literally them. Like, and I thought that that was so amazing, and just like how they led with love and they were so um God fearing and and just all of these things, how they were poised and how they were just just beautiful women and always well taken, you know, well presented, you know, presented themselves well. And I remember having a moment, I was 35 at the time, but I remember having a moment like that's how I want to be remembered. Like I want everybody to like have me, like you know, and um that's something that I always think about. I when I leave here, I don't want to go and just be a memory. I want everyone to like literally still have me. Like, oh my gosh, like I heard this song. Like, I could a song could come on the radio and I'll be like, oh, here go my dad, because it's it's love TKO by Teddy Pengrass or something like that. So when I say legacy, like I mean all of that. My imprint of everything that I was like, I want my kids to cook certain dishes and be like, okay, we're gonna cook this because it's what our mom liked, and you know, yeah.
SPEAKER_07:I like that. Oh my answer. I wanna do that.
SPEAKER_06:That's the answer, Bruce Leroy.
SPEAKER_07:All right. No, um honestly, I think I won't and our kids can be in it on this one.
SPEAKER_03:Well, I mean, I feel like I I want people to understand that no matter what I was who I was and my character was high. No matter what. I was I wasn't I didn't conform to make people happy. I I stood on business. And um above all I always always put my family first.
SPEAKER_01:Like that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:I like that. You guys ever seen Big Fish? Like actual Big Fish? The movie. No. Tim Burton film. No. I think that's kind of where I want to go. Like what you wanna be a big fish? It's uh the movie's a lot like uh he's dying, and his son is like hearing all these stories that his dad told, and he was like, Man, you just lying telling me all this bullshit. But then when he dies, like all those people show up to his funeral. And it's like, damn, okay, so maybe he made some of this up, but all that shit was real. Like, all of this was like a little bit, like, you know, what do you call it? Uh uh not exaggerated. I guess exaggerated upon, but like all of that shit was those people are real. Okay, so they weren't Siamese twins, but they were twins. They were like this and that. And it's like I just wanna leave a lasting thing like of love, I guess. And like I feel like through the way I raise my kids, like I see it already, like the way they are, they're uh they're very caring. They're nuts, but they're caring.
SPEAKER_01:So you gotta take the good.
SPEAKER_07:Like, I think I want my legacy to be a little bigger than it really was because I lived that way. So that's kind of uh what I'm trying to do from here on. I want to go a hundred on everything, but you know, niggas be getting exhausted.
SPEAKER_01:I think it's I think it's about what we pour out. I think we're placed here to um like how they say, you can't leave and take it all with you. And I think that that means something when you think about tangible things, but that also means something when you think about yourself. Yeah, you can't take you with you, right? So when I leave, I want to have poured out every ounce of me. Um pray to God that I'm old and in a nice warm bed when it's when it happens. Um but I think that that's evident in how we leave, you know, because there's people that die young. And I know we've talked about him many times before, but I'm gonna bring up Nipsey because I love him. But he poured out a lot. Yeah, and we have a lot to have from him. And I think that that kind of says something about when it's your time, how they say, because it's like, what did you leave? Like, did you just do a little something here and there or whatever, or did you really leave an impact on this world? Like, do people have something to really? And I don't just mean, like I said, like tangible things, and or I don't even just mean like content-wise, but your mark. What type of mark did you leave? And I want to genuinely like name a street after me. Like, I want to leave like a mark. I mean, that's extreme, but I I want to leave a mark. I want there to be people where they genuinely are just like, I I have co-workers that passed away, and to this day, I'm just like, I can think of something that that's her, like you know, so I want to leave a mark in several people's lives.
SPEAKER_07:Hell, that almost goes to this whole podcast.
SPEAKER_01:True.
SPEAKER_07:It's based off our friend, and many people have been on who uh knew him, and they have vivid memories of the way he lived and uh just loved and was himself. So yeah, it's it's it's doesn't matter like when you go, it's how you live. So yeah, I guess that kind of goes into the next thing of uh how do you plan on achieving achieving hitting that legacy and like what steps do you think you need to take if you're not on that path right now?
SPEAKER_03:I think I'm on the path, like I just say the course. I mean, shit get hard, life get heavy. Um I don't have the answers. I I just accept the fact that I don't have the answers. I just make the best decision I can at the time. But I always try to make the right one and the one I feel would put my my family and the people I care about in in the best position. So at this it's it's a delicate balance because at the same time still pouring enough into myself that I can't be there for other people. Because I in in this stage in my life, um I'm really starting to understand the importance of pouring into myself. Yeah, that's what's very necessary. So that I'm not I'm not drained.
SPEAKER_01:Can't pour from an empty cut. Um yeah, I agree with that. I think that it's really just about along the same lines, like bettering yourself. Like if if if everything that I said I want to leave is a legacy, then that means that I have to really walk in the light of what it is that I'm saying I want to leave. Right. So when I mentioned my grandmother as an example of what I want my legacy to look like, okay, well, she was a God-fearing woman who woke up in the morning and she read her devotionals and she, you know, she was a praying woman and she loved her family and she served in her community and in her church. And so that's really what that blueprint kind of looks like, right? If that's the type of, I mean, obviously I'm generate uh, you know, generations later, years later, so it's not gonna look exactly like hers, but it looks like me showing up for first myself and then showing up for how I want to pour out, and genuinely just like for me, I think that like a word that always comes to mind when I want people to think about me is like authenticity. I just in the realest way don't ever want to be fake. Like, and and I genuinely mean that. And I think that um I do certain things in effort to just really give my most organic self to people. And I want it to be received that way. It's not always going to be life. It's that's life, right? It those misunderstandings, but I do try to give my most authentic self, and authenticity really kind of depends, it lives where the interaction is, right? Like you may get a certain level of authenticity that is different than what my kids' authenticity looks like, just because it's levels to how much of myself I'm giving. Um, but on every way of thinking, like if it's a stranger in the store or if it's someone that I love dearly, I want to give that authenticity. So that means showing up for myself, bettering myself, understanding myself so that I can really pour out the best version of myself.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, that's important.
SPEAKER_01:And to leave the best version of myself.
SPEAKER_07:You gotta learn yourself first, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Uh I'm taking steps by going to things like now, going to therapy, and finally actually getting back to going to therapy. I had actually stopped after my dad had passed and kind of didn't want to. I shit felt like it was getting too real. So it's kind of going back to it is now uh it's different. I remember even booking the appointment, I asked them if the the original therapist was there. They were like, she ain't been here for years.
SPEAKER_01:You've been gone for a minute.
SPEAKER_02:But getting back to that and just kind of understanding myself and dealing with past traumas that I never actually dealt with uh in full effect. Because when I started originally, I I was getting there. I just we didn't actually tackle it. So um that and you know, finding better Facebook pages to find memes on, and um and then uh getting more rhyme dictionaries to get to get my wordplay up to get my lyrics in there.
SPEAKER_04:That's cool.
SPEAKER_02:Um, but I I do plan on making music this year and and and full effect because I have like three different projects I'm doing at once right now, and it I just I'm trying not to overwhelm myself. So, but it's just leaving a legacy because I do music to me is a big deal. And um to be able to say what I truthfully want to say is the big best legacy I can leave. Uh everything else with my kids and everything to that degree is they they know how I feel, and I'll I'll never not uh state highful about my kids, and and I've they might not like what I do as far as how often I take pictures and all that, but I want them to have something when uh they're older to have something to look back on, or especially when I'm not here, they'll at least have something to look at and remember what dad was like or what what dad tried to do or what uh dad was trying to achieve. I don't I always want them to have that because I didn't have that growing up, and that fucks with me heavily because there's no pictures and no footage or proof of what me and my dad were like, the only remory I have of my dad's voice is in my head. So like that that's a big deal for me. So I don't want them to ever have to feel like that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I agree. When it when we talk about kids in legacy too, I think a big thing for me is obviously leaving like you know, pictures and and just just me, but then also I want to make an example for my kids that will make sense to them later. Because when you're dealing with kids, especially teenagers, um they don't get a lot. They don't understand a lot. That's what I'll say. They don't understand a lot, and it's not really that they they should even be required to understand a lot because they're not coming from a level that we come from. So it's not that I fault them at it. Some shit they do is just dumb. But, you know, um, I don't fault them at their comprehension level because it's not for them yet. But I genuinely try to set examples and do things and and lead by example in a way to where it's gonna make sense to them 10, 15, 20, 30, whatever many years from now. Um, there's certain things that it becomes like difficult for me. And I'm just like, okay, it'll make sense to them later. And then some things won't, you know, but there's a lot of things that um I just I want to to leave my imprint to where it ends up making sense to them later and to where they can have a full circle moment when they're an adult or when you know, if they have kids.
SPEAKER_07:That's what she was talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have that with my dad quite often. I thought he was tripping.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. But uh you gotta give your kids your real self in order for them to actually end up having that moment, though. I learned that from experience just in how I was raised. Like, if you're not really given the full transparency of what's happening, they're gonna make that up later, not really factual to what was happening. And I think that that's something that our generation has probably learned through trauma better than what our gener, our parents' generation was. I think our parents' generation was very much so like make it look good. Um, and the millennial in all of us is like, nah. Like when shit ain't right, it ain't right. But I'm fucked up. Yeah, yeah. But I want you, that's really something that I that's my parenting inexperience. Like my parents' generation was, oh, all this fine. But then as an adult, I realized that it wasn't, but it lets me make up my own reasons why it wasn't. Where if I had the full transparency of things, then it is what it is.
SPEAKER_03:See, my my child's not the age yet. But I always said when she becomes a teenager, I'm I'm I'm gonna tell her about my fears.
SPEAKER_01:Mm-hmm. You should.
SPEAKER_07:Some of it, like my therapist was saying, it's okay with their their age. Because she was like, if you leave it up to them at their age, they go nuts. Yeah. And like place things where you're like, How did you get there? So it's like certain things I get it, where it's like, you don't need to know this, but certain things is like you could give them a little. Because I'll just like I said something and she was like, No, don't do that. Just be honest with that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's a good point. I remember I seen something that was just like, uh, you have to be honest with your kids because it leaves room for misunderstanding. And so, for example, if I've had a bad day, or you know, I guess I'll use for an example when I was going through, not going through the divorce, but when I was in a bad relationship, I would have horrible days. And it wasn't really my natural reaction to obvious, my kids were like 10, 11, 12, you know, I'm not gonna be like, oh, today this nigga hurt my foot. Like, I'm not gonna do that. Um, but at the same time, kids will misplace what that looks like. So if mom's in the room crying and or she's just upset and nothing is going right for her, like, dang, did I do something wrong? Like, is she mad at me? You know, so um that's something that I kind of learned through that time. That's where it's appropriate, give them a level of understanding. It it grows, obviously. And I'm I'm fortunate to have gone through that situation with my kids because how they saw it to be at 10 and 11 versus now them being 16 and 17. And, you know, now my my for example, my 17-year-old went through a breakup last year. Um, I can kind of be more open as to what that looked like for me now because now you're at an age and now your experience also matches. So now we can kind of have this conversation as what I for what I was going through, so that you can have a better understanding and you can carry that into your adulthood.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I'm not doing that.
SPEAKER_01:Maybe it's her mom, her mom.
SPEAKER_03:Like, dad, why we can't get to because daddy ain't got no money then. We can't go to a table. Then she's going to practice. Y'all, my dad is broke.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:We have he has no money. Yeah, the way they do too.
SPEAKER_01:I do tell my kids I'm broke often.
SPEAKER_04:Are they poor? I'm like, don't say that.
SPEAKER_07:Like, that's that's they're not.
SPEAKER_03:You should see the way she says grace. She starts off every grace. She starts off every grace with God, please help the poor people in the homeless, give them food. I said, We bought to be out there with them. You eat no muffice.
SPEAKER_06:No, you just ate half your mama's burger. Yes, for you.
SPEAKER_02:A lark. Heat. I got Ava her own little Caesar's pizza. We usually like that, right? So I'm like, she got this, and I bought two just in case. I was like, a lark might want some. He ate six, seven slices, right? The baby. Six, seven slices, right? Then the next day I go and I'm like, so there should be like leftovers. Oh, he ate the rest of the pizza. And I was like, so he's two. Yeah, you're in trouble.
SPEAKER_03:He had a whole pizza? Yeah. In trouble. Now, was he hungry or was he just eating the? I sound like he was eating the eat.
SPEAKER_02:He, you know, he never leaves a crust. He it it's you can always tell it's him because he leaves that little little line of sauce at the end of the crust. You're like, oh yeah, Lark's been here. Um I don't want that part. He yeah. You're gonna need a new food. That two-year-old eating like that is crazy. Yeah, that's he he's gonna be a big boy.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, back to what you said though. I I I I fully agree with telling your kids that you broke. I think it makes all the difference.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, I tell them now. They don't believe none of that shit.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, mine don't. Mine don't. What am I gonna fly somewhere?
SPEAKER_07:Like, you don't know how much it costs to fly off somewhere like.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I I made the mistake of taking them on a couple vacations and this year. She's like, Where are we going? My middle daughter, where are we going this year? That's why I call her. That's Rich Maya. I always say Maya is that's my rich kid. She's like, Where are we going for our vacation this year? Nigga.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah. I took them to the pawn shop.
SPEAKER_01:I was like, first of all, your sister is going to school. She done got accepted to three different schools out of state. I said, it's more than likely that's where we're going. Do you want to come or not? Because you can stay home.
SPEAKER_03:Well, you know, my daughter told me she'd been to Disneyland. She'd never been to Disney World. Period. So she don't want to go to she don't want to go back to Disneyland since she goes to Disney World. I said, Well, I guess we ain't going nowhere. Thank you. I was like, me either.
SPEAKER_07:I ain't never been to Disney World either. Don't plan on going there.
SPEAKER_01:Right, right.
SPEAKER_07:For real. I couldn't stop laughing when we went to an Airbnb in Arizona, and it didn't have a pool. And Kendall was like, it doesn't even have a pool in here.
SPEAKER_01:Damn. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I told you we had the Airbnb Arizona, it was 114 outside.
SPEAKER_04:It's hot.
SPEAKER_03:And she was like, I want to get in the pool. I said, No, that's a bathtub.
SPEAKER_04:It is.
SPEAKER_03:That's not a pool. Yeah. It is. It's very hot in there. It's a bathtub.
SPEAKER_07:You just get in at night.
unknown:No.
SPEAKER_03:Because it's warm.
SPEAKER_07:It's still 100 degrees. It's 98. I used to live there. I know. I know what's up. Arizona, Vegas, all that. I'm cool. I guess for me, I feel like I gotta do more because in my head, I don't know why I have this. I have this like grandiose idea of myself. And it's like I'm trying to taper it down. Like, it don't gotta be no global shit. I don't gotta change the world. And like I'm learning a lot of that through therapy, because I'll be talking to her, and she's like, Kevin, you realize you're like, do a lot.
SPEAKER_01:Talk down.
SPEAKER_07:Like you, well, she's like, You telling me about you having like barbecues and stuff, and like the neighbors and all the neighbors and stuff will be over. And she's like, I don't know my neighbors. Like, most people don't talk to their neighbors. Like you have like an open door, and it's like you're you're building community, and like that's more impactful than you actually know. So I'm like trying to like focus on that instead of trying to be this grand scale. And like I just, I don't know. I just want to be good. Like, that's all. That's all I want to be like is good. I want my kids to just be like good, like kind and love and like just be love. Like that's it. That's what you gotta do to do in low.
SPEAKER_06:She's actually very loving, but don't cross her. Don't cross her. That's how she should be.
SPEAKER_01:But you know what that makes me think of? Like, there's like um, I guess I don't want to say biblically, but like you could be blessed with talents that aren't grandiose talents, right? Yeah, and uh, or I don't even want to say grandiose. You I've seen it in like sermon, like basically compared, like you could be a one-talent man or you could be a five-talent man. And the five-talent man could be meant to serve hundreds of thousands of millions, the the world, you know what I mean? Um, versus, and it it also kind of ties me back into like what I was saying about my grandmother and the other elderly lady. Then there's the people that are like the one, the two talent people, and you are meant to serve in a community and you are meant to be good in a community, but the community just doesn't look like that large number. And I think that that's where people kind of miss their calling because everybody, especially nowadays, everybody thinks that the service that you're doing needs to touch millions of lives. Yeah, they think that like you have to be saying the things to say it to all of these people where you might have touched, like, you know, your own little community, or you might have to be barbecues for your own community, and then you still leave your legacy the way that you need it to.
SPEAKER_07:And the thing I look at at that is like you still probably are touching millions of lives. You're right. It might be over time, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And it's like six degrees of separation.
SPEAKER_07:Because a lot of people might be like, oh, he got all these people here. I'm like, yeah, but that could just be now. But like this person is like, I liked how they did that. Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna apply that, and then they apply it, and then the next person applies this and that and that. And I'm like, if we could just if I could focus on that and like focus in on that, I'm a I'm okay. So like I'm just trying to do certain things to just be right. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04:I agree.
SPEAKER_03:So I also think you gotta comprehend that there's different levels to the world. Yeah. And I I will say for me personally, my world as it exists starts with inside my house first. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Amen. That's our first community.
SPEAKER_03:That's that that's it. And then when you add a layer on top of that, it's my my you know, my my direct family, and then you add another layer, that's then you had then you had your close friends. And so the kind of you you have these worlds that kind of stacked on on top of of one another.
SPEAKER_08:That's true.
SPEAKER_03:And to go back to what Sharon was saying, I saw this post the other day, and he was like, um, pretty much like Pisa, he was like, Um, post your gym content. He's a even if you got three people watching, you might be motivating three people.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And like sometimes, like we're saying, sometimes your message ain't for everybody. Sometimes your message may be for that one person. You know what I'm saying? But again, people get so wrapped up in, or if I'm not reaching the matches of why I'm wasting my time. And a lot of times you don't understand the in the influence or impact you have on one person.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And that's how we just have to show up, even if you're not in a platform. Like everything is your platform, right? You can be in the grocery store. You could be, it just reminds me of like when I um at my job, they would have like the people that would come and be standing out in front of the court and whatever, being annoying. But they created their platform, like, you know, and like it just puts me in the mind of that. Your platform doesn't have to obviously look like um you being a, you know, on a podcast or you being a preacher or you being something to where you are communicating to masses of people, your platform could be how you create it to be. It could be how you show up at work. You could come to work each day and and you could be that person. Oh, every day my co-worker gives me this, this, and this. Like, you know what I mean? Like, oh, that coworker every day, she always makes sure to give me this little inspirational quote or something like that. Like, your platform is what you make it to be. And if you want to serve and you want to give and pour out and leave, then sometimes you have to create that avenue for yourself.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um, and you have to to find your platform and and you know, do your best at it.
SPEAKER_03:And regardless of whether or not they give you the flowers, they're watching.
SPEAKER_01:Amen. That's true. They're definitely watching. You can't wait for your flowers.
SPEAKER_03:And a lot of times, a lot of times you'll be helping people do shit, and you have no idea you're helping them do shit. And sometimes they'll give you flowers and sometimes they won't.
SPEAKER_07:You know what I think I've learned that we're like what my flowers are, I feel like, is there's people like I haven't talked to in like years. And just be like, hey man, we was just thinking about you.
SPEAKER_04:We were just talking, like me and my wife just talking about you. And when you did this and that, and like it's like, I'm like, oh, okay. That is a funny.
SPEAKER_07:I guess that kind of made like uh some sort of impact. That's that's that's cool. That's always cool. Like one dude, he is this uh, he's like a hillbilly.
SPEAKER_03:Like, talk like this. When Bobby Boucher went off.
SPEAKER_01:He talked like that. He bought a everybody in that movie, right?
SPEAKER_07:Like he had to put a trailer on his property because they were like, well, you can't just live in a garage because he just likes working on cars. So he was like living in his garage and we're like, that's illegal. Like, you gotta have a place. He's happy. He was happy. He was like, I guess I gotta put a fucking trailer on. But like he reached out to me and he was like, Kevin, you know something? Like while we were in the Navy, he's like, You were the only person who was like unafraid to be himself. And like, you didn't judge nobody, you didn't do none of that. He's like, that made a big impact on me. And I was like, oh shit, okay. That's cool as fuck. So like I don't know. Like, I'm I'm trying to harness all that shit. Like, I look at when we have talk your shits and the people come on and talk to Stutter, and like that's cool to watch because you could just see the admiration and like the impact he's made on them. So I'm just like, that's I love watching that type of shit.
SPEAKER_01:I think that's a good thing to do though, is to find a way to get your flowers, or or not even to get them, but just to be mindful of what your flower. Cause I've never done that. Um, because I think that you do, you kind of a lot of times people live through life and they're like waiting for their moment. Like, damn, like you see everybody else getting their flowers, and you like, and nobody gave me my shit, like like um and and Saying that like you should be mindful of that often, but I think it's something very necessary to just have your own awareness for what that looks like. And the just the people, the way that people reach out to you. Because you're right, people will reach out and and tell me that something's inspiring or something like there's something that I've done or whatever. And it kind of goes over my head. And I'm just like, yeah, girl, like, you know, whatever. Um Tuesday. Yeah, I'm just living life. Yeah, I'm just like, yeah. And I think that a lot of times it's because our gifts, I think you said before, our gifts are so natural that you do it with ease. So when someone gives you any type of flowers or praise for, you're like, oh yeah, I was just with the like you kind of dismiss it yourself. Whereas you really need to be aware, like, oh, you was getting flowers for what your gift is or what your talent is. I think that that's really, really cool to know and to like kind of take with you because we don't always know.
SPEAKER_07:I also think it's you shouldn't be afraid to give them to. Like I got a for sure director at work right now that I'm like, I'm just gonna give him like a gift card to like a lunch place or something. It's something small, but I'm like, the way he is is how I think everybody should be in like the workplace. Because he's like, Dog, this is just the title. Like, I'm here for you, and like I'm not here, and like he'll tell, like, I can, for example, like one of our friends like cussed him out.
SPEAKER_08:Like, just cuss.
SPEAKER_02:Nah, no, it wasn't me. Wasn't me.
SPEAKER_07:I know what he's talking about, though. But like the way he handled it was like he just took it and like he was like, I'm about to get fired. And I was like, Well, what happens? I just cussed this motherfucker out. And I was like, he's actually like a really good person. And like the next day, he was like, Yeah, he called me and he was like, I ain't taking that shit personal, man. Like, you you were venting, like I get it. And I'm like, see, like that's that's a gift to me to be able to just eat that shit and just be like, Yeah, this shit ain't personal.
SPEAKER_06:You're right. She can't cut me out.
SPEAKER_03:You said you said that, Kevin, and it reminds me of like there, they're every now and again, my my daughter will vent to us and it's it's normal, kid. I don't understand why I gotta do this and that. Yeah, and I'm like, and we let her get it all, get off your chest. Yeah, you still gonna hold do it. But but get up, and I and I, but and I think like I don't again, like my wife always says, we can't judge, she has feelings. We have to, we have to, if you want her to be able to um talk to us later on in life, we have to let her talk to us now. That's important. So let her let her dump. I mean, you let your friends emotionally dump on you. Let your you should let your kids emotionally jump on you. You know what I'm saying? You know, you because the one thing I don't want her to be a teenager talking shit about me that's somebody else. Well, I know something gonna happen. Regardless, but you know, believe what my goddamn daddy.
SPEAKER_06:Well, in anybody's colour, no, I was about to say, like, girl, I don't even know my daddy.
SPEAKER_01:Right, right.
SPEAKER_02:I said uh that my six seven plan worked. Did it? I kept doing it so they said that shit ain't cool. No more the dad do it.
SPEAKER_06:You reversed it?
SPEAKER_02:I reversed it. Oh no. Now they don't like it.
SPEAKER_03:That's funny. I did the same shit. That shit worked.
SPEAKER_01:I think six.
SPEAKER_03:I'm like, six seven. She'd be like, Dad, we don't do it no more. Oh, we don't.
SPEAKER_01:I'm like, I hit it with this. We don't I think six seven over it.
SPEAKER_03:It's done. Thank God.
SPEAKER_07:Who's uh who's somebody you can think of in your life that you that left a legacy that you wouldn't mind like modeling it after modeling yours after? Oh my grandfather.
SPEAKER_03:You know, uh I I'd be my my grandfather as strong as silent. I've said many times I've I've I've I've I was raised by my grandparents and I've I've seen my grandparent I can I've seen my grandfather recry twice. And he had the the natural ability to be soft and kind but tough at the same time. Like he he he gave you just enough chastising but let you know that he loved you. You know? And it was like um it was like one of those situations of where like it hurt more to disappoint him than anything he could say to you. You know, like the disappointment in his face, you're like, man, I'm fucked up. Like, god damn. You know what I mean? And it's like you know, in in true old man fashion, he he'd give you game and stories and little syllables, yeah, parables and shit.
SPEAKER_01:Not real, yeah, like parables.
SPEAKER_03:You know what I'm saying? He never told you he never told you the game directly, but in the roundabout way he did tell you the game. And it's just like I think that really when I got older and realized what he was doing, it taught me, it allowed me to be more understanding and actually listen to people when they talk.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Because it's like a lot of times, because I get it, because a lot of times, as men, we say shit without saying shit. And so we have to get into the the headspace of um because again, as men, we're not comfortable being vulnerable. So when we vent and we say shit, we're we're we're saying shit in an aggressive tone, but there is that level of vulnerability underneath it. And so now I feel like as a man, I can kind of pick up on that when I have friends venting to me. I was like, okay, I know what the okay. Yeah, I get it. And as a man, a lot of times like, nigga, I know exactly how the fuck you feel.
SPEAKER_01:You know what I think I appreciate about parables is like the wisdom. I I learned like a few years ago, like um when somebody has a story and you want to give a perspective, I'm the type of person where I don't want to make it about myself. So I would always caution myself because obviously, if you want to give a story, you want to give an experience, right? But I would caution myself, like, damn, I don't want to make this about me. So I would not, right? But parables come with so much wisdom because you give that experience and you remove yourself.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And so the person that's receiving it is not just gonna be like, oh, they just made this about them, like you know, like, but they're instead receiving a similar experience to what they're going through, but they get to understand only the message from it. They don't have to understand the perspective, they don't have to understand, or they don't have to see that you are putting inserting yourself, like they're literally just getting the message of it. And that's something that I taught myself, like me and my want to be an old lady so damn bad. I'm like, I wanna, I really want to learn to do that.
SPEAKER_07:Like, because I often I want to give people advice and I've I've I'll be like literally like wrestling with it, like, oh my god, I've been through this, I want to give the advice, but they're in a moment where I don't want to take that moment from them, so I'll just be like, as long as you just don't make it just be like, Well, I did like even be like, I remember going through something similar to this and being like, I think it takes a craft, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It's kind of because some people do it and I hate it. It's like it just speaks loudly. Like I could be saying a whole like, well, when I hear we go I think when you do that, I think when people do it that way, like it's the way you gotta word shit, and like it's it's like you can't. I want to learn, I want to learn the craft of that.
SPEAKER_03:I don't like giving advice, I like giving possible outcomes and let you choose. He does. I understand that.
SPEAKER_07:He does. I understand that. Yeah, but sometimes like it can go either way, which way you want to go. But sometimes, as you well know, life can throw you a motherfucking curveball and be like, Hey, my bad. I said one of these, look like it went like that.
SPEAKER_08:Shout out, so left something out.
SPEAKER_02:Our coworker, uh, Fabiola, uh, I was going through shit like a lot of stress at the tail end of uh 2025. And we both came in, it was like the last week of peak season, which is around Christmas for uh uh UPS. And we both went in at like midnight 01 to work at uh work, and she saw me in the in the yard. She's like, You've been posting like a lot of cryptic shit, but like I I'm afraid to ask you what's going on, but like not to touch on it, I'm gonna just uh like she gave me a story of scenario she's going through. She's like, because I I feel like we're uh similar. And she told me some shit that put me in a perspective where I was like, shit, I shut the fuck up. It ain't that bad. And when she when she said that, like it came from a place of uh a care, but she was able to take herself out of the the scenario, but like kind of give you a perspective like shit can get fucked up, but like as long as we're here, right? And I said, Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I think that's wisdom.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, that's true wisdom to me. And I took that shit like a sign, like, yo, she was supposed to be in this moment to tell me this shit so I could hear it and get over the fuck what I'm going through. And that that uh shout out to her for that.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I know I took it somewhere else, but back back to the question.
SPEAKER_03:Uh no, but but what you said was true, though. People don't like people don't a lot of people don't want, they don't want you to have, they don't want you in the advice.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_03:Because they feel like because they feel like uh some people will feel like you're shifting, like you said, they're shift you're shifting the focus to you when honestly a lot well you you gotta kind of know the person. I don't think a lot of people do that. I think it's just like this isn't my only way to kind of get off what I'm saying. I want you to know that I can relate to what you're going through. But some people are like, no, nigga, I'm I'm trying to type.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. I find myself doing that with like with friends when they're talking about like relationship stuff and all that. And I just always feel like the past 10 years of my life have been so like molding for me, um, where I'm intentional about like like not this is what you do because I can't tell anybody what to do, but this is what this looked like for me and this is what the outcome was. And I want to highlight the outcome because I'm not just saying this because I'm telling you to stop or you know, whatever, but I'm saying it because I was there and the alternative or whatever, when I stayed in it or when I didn't, or whatever the case may be, um, this is where it got me to.
SPEAKER_03:Like I like I said, I I I get possible outcomes.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Right? And then and then at the end of in the at the end of every advice I tell people, I say, I say, but you grown and you're gonna do what you want to do. And he does.
SPEAKER_01:That's a very so good way of.
SPEAKER_03:I just get you should think about. Yeah. Before you before you jump off the ledge, think about these possible outcomes. But you grown.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_03:And and you, my boy, I'm I'm gonna love you regardless, nigga. I'm with you. But just know.
SPEAKER_02:I yeah. I did that with Patrick. Yeah. We had a conversation about that. Because that was way back when, but yeah, that's some that's you have to be that way with some people because you understand that at the end of the day, like you said, some people are just gonna do what they're gonna do, and you can't, you're not gonna sway them on that. You just gotta let them know.
SPEAKER_01:You're not.
SPEAKER_02:I'm here for either way. Just know it could go left.
SPEAKER_01:And yeah, and then you can find yourself in conflict with that person because you was really just trying to help.
SPEAKER_03:And I'm and I'm not gonna say I told you so. I'm just like, Oh, you're gonna do it in a different way. I'm gonna say, Dude, what did we learn?
SPEAKER_01:What are you gonna take from this?
SPEAKER_03:Are we are we growing? Yeah, did we get something out of this? Or will or did we waste time? What did we learn something here?
SPEAKER_01:Or well, back back to the actual question. I think I would probably, I mean, I mentioned before my granny. Y'all love my granny. Um, when I think about becoming the woman or being a woman of a certain posture, um, and my heart being in a certain posture, and like all that, of course, like my grandmother is the epitome of an example for like her legacy, right? But then I also consider my dad a lot in terms of just a human being because I remember and I um something that sticks out vivid to me all the time. Like my dad knew all of these. My dad knew when I say everybody, I mean everybody. And he was like one of those people that lived so many different lives. Like I remember being a kid and saying stuff, and then like as I got older, I'm like, you probably thought I was lying because he did like you, Daddy, what? He played pro baseball, and then he was what? And then he oh, he teach art. Like, what? Like he would just did a lot of stuff. So over the course of his life, he knew so many people. And I remember like, um, for an example, something that always pops out to me is like he was really involved in like the hall of fame for Riverside because he did all of the portraits and stuff like that. So he was always with, like, you know, um had interactions and stuff with like the mayor and all that. So I would meet all these people, and I would watch my dad interact coach which a little bit, but interact the same way he would with a mayor of with the current mayor of Riverside, the same way that he would with like a homeless man, because it was somebody he went to high school with, you know what I mean? And shake his hand the same way. I remember he would get back in the car. My mom would be like, uh, why you shake his hand? Like all mad. But he would shake people's hand the same exact way. And so when I think of like my human experience, like my dad's legacy is like the top of the top for that. Because I just love how he treated people, like people, other men, like to this day, people that like I call uncles and stuff like that. Like they would always call my dad like a gentle giant, but like don't fuck with him, like you know, and the nicest person you ever meet, but he lay your ass down too. So I think that that's like a legacy that I like always like to want to be have.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Rest in peace to both of them. Um my dad mainly because he had like this larger than life reputation in Riverside because of him being a barber. And like I always go, Oh, you Jesse the barber son? Oh yeah, yeah. And you would come across all these people, and then you'd be like, shit, like that. I would get I I realized I got certain passes in certain areas because my dad knew these people. So it'd be like, I remember one time I was walking home, and like you would see some some gang like activity, and they'd be like, Oh, that he ain't into that shit, nigga. Like, that's Jesse's son. You're like, okay, and you're like, okay, cool. Like, like, like but um then on the combination of my Aunt Bobby, she was always uh all my aunts, she was the one that used to always see me for me and never like treated me like bad. And uh she was the only one that can make my dad like fold up. Like so everybody else would be, he'd be like, Oh no, motherfucking you ain't talking to me. Aunt Bobby come in and say some shit, and he just be like, Yeah, yeah. I need to apologize to you. And like, damn. So her talking to you maybe speak up aerial ways, but everybody else can't say shit to you. Well, that's his sister, his sister, his older sister. Um, and uh that was and she was just always just called like it is. And again, people don't know this is my dad's nickname, which still sits weird with me as Coon. So they would all say, Oh yeah, Coon, you know you wrong, Coon. And um, when she would say that shit, it was the only time it hit. And I I do miss her. And uh it yeah. Though their legacy, though, like her being able to, she was always can crack a joke at any situation, and she can make laugh about any situation and make everything funny. But you could tell that she took on a lot, but she was able to laugh awful lot of it and not let it get to her and still operate how she needed to operate. And when she died, then when my dad died, you could tell that the family kind of took a shift because those kind of pillars of I'ma keep it real or keep it going or keep it at kind of went away. I would like to eventually get to that point where I I could be that, but it is a legacy that I would like to follow through with.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Be my grandma Alice. She uh what was she probably like fixed, but she's dynamite. The ones that's fi too always is dynamite. Like she literally like probably affected everybody in the family in a way to where it's like no matter what, like whoever it is, like my dad, like she rubbed off on him in some sort of way, or my uncles rubbed off on him, or rubbed off on my mom, or rubbed off on that. So, like, no matter what, her legacy is the one that kind of created the umbrella. But she was also like very kind and open to people, like um, like the firecracker side. I just remember we're coming from like Rialto, and some essays was trying to like bang on her for some reason because she like cut them off on accident. But she was like, I don't give a fuck about them. I got 22 in my purse, I'll shoot back. Like, it's what it is. Like, but like it'll be like on Saturday, like she wasn't Jehovah's Witness, but the Jehovah's Witness would come by and then she'd be like sitting there talking to them so long that they were like, Okay.
SPEAKER_08:Yeah, to make beltness shit.
SPEAKER_07:Well, I'm like just like that compassion and all that to like gather and like still being who she was, like nobody would mess with her, but it was like that's what I I always try to model after is like, all right, that's just who she is, and that's awesome. Like when I got in trouble at North, I got suspended, and like she knew what was up. Like, she was like, I know you just ain't telling on that boy. You need to stop hanging out with him. Like, you right? So yeah, just honest type shit. Like, I love that. So, um uh I'm gonna ask one last one. Do you guys think we have actual control over our own legacy? And how important do you think it is? I don't I don't think we do.
SPEAKER_03:No, I don't. I think um I think it ties into like how I feel about parenting. Like, I can be the best parent, I can be the best parent in the world in my eyes. And she thinks I'm shit. So when I die, she's gonna know you was shit. So you know what I mean? Like, I I feel like the only thing you can control was is is the things you can't control. Your actions, how you um treat people, how you um react to things. That's what you can control, and you can just hope that the way you want to be portrayed is is that's how they view you. But ultimately, the way they see you is is really up to their interpretation of you.
SPEAKER_01:I agree. You're right. I agree with that. I would like to say you do. I would like to my answer wanted to be that you do control it, but you're right. It's really just based on how people are perceiving you, and you can't really you can't a hundred percent control that you could show up in a way, and then well, I mean, I guess you still will have different people, right? Like everybody has different experiences with different people, like um one person will say one thing and the other person will be like, oh no, that was the best, like you know. So I guess it's like what I said before. As long as you're showing up in the most authentic way, um your legacy's gonna be what it is to see.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, whoever it is.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, because I mean, I guess now that you mentioned that, I probably have people that I've known for years. You know, I went to the same school schools with people throughout the whole time. So I know pe I've known people literally since I was in elementary school, but I'm not really a big fan of them. So they're not getting the same experience of me as other people are getting. Um, so they may be like, I can't stand that girl. But You know, somebody else that has known me for the exact amount of time, like sure. Like, you know, so that's a very you don't like huh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So there's a lot of people that say, Man, fuck that guy. Yeah, a lot of people say, Well, he's cool.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. That's yeah, and they're both right. They're both right. I'm glad you you finished off what I was getting at because they are both right. That's you're so so right. But as long as you're showing up in an authentic way, that's all I really care about. I'm like, if you didn't really get the best version of me, I mean, my petty side when I say that's on you, you're the reason why you didn't get the best version of me.
SPEAKER_02:Bitch.
SPEAKER_01:Literally.
SPEAKER_02:Gun shot.
SPEAKER_01:But if you got the best version of me, kudos to you.
SPEAKER_03:You probably didn't deserve it.
SPEAKER_01:No, they do. Everybody that gets a good version of me deserves it.
SPEAKER_03:No, I was I was speaking for me. I wasn't talking about you. How do you think?
SPEAKER_02:I think it it's uh a certain percentage.
SPEAKER_03:I do think you can control how like like 50-50 or 60-40, man.
SPEAKER_08:6-7, 6-70.
SPEAKER_02:Uh but you can show up for the people, show up for the people that matter to you, show up for them and and do the your best to um solidify what you want your legacy to be. Uh yeah, perception can be perception, but if you show up and you know you show up the right way, for example, with your kids, you know it sometimes they can look at you as whatever you were being, but in the uh in that moment, but I think eventually they will understand that what you are trying to achieve. Yeah. So everything else, that don't really matter to me. But so if they perceive you that way, they perceive you that way. Um, but there's only so many people that get access to me anyway, so there's that.
SPEAKER_01:I think it's just tricky with kids because if they don't ever really get that full circle moment, like I remember a couple weeks ago I was having a really bad day or time at the time or whatever. And um I was like, I hope these little niggas get to get one age, get their age and realize what life really looked like for me. But then as their mom, I was like, actually, I don't hope that's a good one. No, you don't. You like because I'm a single mom that takes care of all three of my kids by myself, and I wouldn't wish that on them at all. So that was like a humbling moment for me, and I it ties in with what we're saying, especially when it comes to our kids, because it's like you want them to get to the point where they understand, but there are things I don't ever want them to have to deal with all of the complexities of my life at all.
SPEAKER_03:I always say, like, I know I'm pretty sure they Kevin and um Andy agree. I always say that the way she sees me now, I hope she sees me that way always. Because right now, I'm her hero. I can't dad can't do no wrong. Dad got my dad. She she honestly feels like my dad got me. I can she my dad makes it happen.
SPEAKER_01:She probably will. My dad's been gone for 21 years and I'm still a daddy's girl. For real.
SPEAKER_03:I don't want to joke the fuck out of her. But I love her.
SPEAKER_07:I'm gonna let Mike Tyson answer mine. Oh, okay. You're gonna let Mike Tyson answer? We're gonna get up out of here. Oh shit. This might just put a wrench in everything we just said. Yeah. Y'all ready? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:No.
SPEAKER_00:Well, I don't know. I don't believe in the word legacy. I just think that's another word for ego. Legacy doesn't mean nothing. That's just some word everybody grabbed on to. Someone said that word and everyone grabbed on to the word, so now it's used every five seconds. It means absolutely nothing to me. I'm just passing through. I'm gonna die, and it's gonna be over. Who cares about legacy after that? What a big ego. So I'm gonna die. I want people to think that I'm this, I'm great, I'm no, we're nothing. We're just dead. We're dust, we're absolutely nothing. Our legacy is nothing. Can you really imagine somebody say, I want my legacy to be this way when I you're dead. Why do you want to say you think somebody really wants to think about you? How how what's your dad that they want people to think about me when I'm gone? Who the fuck cares about me when I'm gone? Well my kids maybe or grandkids, man.
SPEAKER_01:Who cares?
SPEAKER_00:They were so uncomfortable listening to that shit.
SPEAKER_07:Oh, they were as a little kid he was talking to.
SPEAKER_01:He was talking to a little kid.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, he was a little girl.
SPEAKER_06:Oh fucking little girl.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like I saw that clip. I didn't know he was talking to a little kid. Yeah. Oh shit.
SPEAKER_06:If she was looking like, oh shitty, I didn't know you were gonna give me the real.
SPEAKER_01:We're gonna. None of that. None of that.
SPEAKER_07:So with that, that's been episode 231, Legacy Legacy, and you dead.
SPEAKER_01:And that's it.
SPEAKER_07:Say it what it looks been uh just in the dirt.
SPEAKER_06:It's just it is what it is. Like a bob spring, he might drive down here and fuck me up. Yeah, I'll finish it. I want no problem, Mike. Fuck that. No, he might be like, that's a good impression of me. That's a really good impression of me. Any minute wear his ass and stats.
SPEAKER_01:Mike Tyson wants to come sit with the podcast. Pull up.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, just don't knock me out.
SPEAKER_02:Remember what Jamie said? He said it better be funny. The pressure.
SPEAKER_01:Nah, y'all gotta hear the story from the locks they told about Mike Tyson. That's the funniest shit ever. Where they said they thought they was gonna have to stab that nigga. That's the funniest shit.
SPEAKER_07:And well, YouTube then.
SPEAKER_01:So we're gonna have to poke Mike.
SPEAKER_07:Remember, it's been the Heavyweight Collective. Click like, subscribe. All that shit. And we'll see you next time. Peace. Sweaty.
SPEAKER_04:That's rip, yo. That's that's how she rip. So just make sure you click like, subscribe. Tune in. We on the off-stream platform. So until next time, we'll holla at you.
