Mid-Year Check-in Part 2

Healing doesn't always begin with answers. Sometimes it begins with finally feeling safe enough to ask the questions.

In Part 2 of this Heavyweight Collective conversation, the crew explores therapy, grief, personal routines, and the everyday practices that support emotional well-being. Through honest stories and thoughtful reflection, they discuss the fears surrounding therapy, the value of being truly heard, and the many ways people find healing outside the therapist's office.

The episode also reflects on creativity, faith, music, discipline, and the habits that quietly build resilience over time. More than anything, this conversation reminds listeners that healing isn't about becoming someone new—it's about becoming more honest with who you already are.

 Thanks for tapping in with The Heavyweight Collective!
 Make sure you follow, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this convo. Catch us on all socials for clips, updates, and more behind the mic. https://linktr.ee/TheHeavyweightPodcast

Transcript

The Fear of Therapy

SPEAKER_04 0:00

And we're back here again to finish our lovely conversation on the uh half past half of the year. Hope you guys enjoy. No, I guess. But that's 40. We still young. That's the good thing. Nigga, I sound old, nigga. I thought I was 40. I know, but the way you made it sound. 40? Like, damn, nigga. Like, hey, hey, easy. Um, we so he had answers on your answer. I didn't know he was he was complete. I did have a question for you. Um, what was your hang up with therapy, and how do you feel? Do you feel that was an irrational hangup now?

SPEAKER_01 0:37

Or uh no, I just I think that uh the biggest hang up I had was not thinking I would know what to say. Like when I would go on the session, like I would think I was like, well, I'm just gonna sit here and not have anything to say, and they're just gonna look at me like, so what you gonna say? And I'm like, I don't know. And then I went in there and just start fucking talking, and I was like, oh shit, I have something to say, like it's crazy. Like, and every single time I show up, I think this is gonna be the day I have nothing to say. And then she'll even say, What do you want to talk about today? And I was like, I don't know. And then we'll start talking, and then she'll just be like, she'll get comfortable, and I'm like, Oh, I'm talking. I didn't realize I would be talking, and then she'll be like, Well, that's her time. And I'm like, So I I talked for a whole hour.

SPEAKER_03 1:23

But you know what that means, though, right? That means that you you feel safe in that space.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:28

You feel safe in there, so you you you're not you talking without feeling judged. A lot of times when we talk to, especially like our wives are are we like nigga, it might be a little judgment on the end, so I'm gonna kind of dial back everything I say. And a therapist, you like you feel sometimes I feel like I'm being a little judged, but you you don't feel it as much as if you're talking to like someone that you have an actual like connect emotional connection to. It's like it's it's it's different.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Do you find therapy in anything other? And I know I I'm gonna take both of these answers off the board right before we start because I know that both of you have said this, not even in judgment or not there, but do you find therapy in anything other than therapy? And I know you've mentioned before in like wagging, like raps and stuff like that. And both of you, I know that you've mentioned like the gym. Okay, so outside of those, do you find yourself and and a little more context? Not just a way of you releasing, but something that's like feeding you also. Do you find therapy in anything else other than therapy?

SPEAKER_03 2:31

Um, the the lawn. Sometimes the lawn? Sometimes, you know what? We didn't talk about that. Um it really it depends on that depends on my emotional state and what I'm going through at the moment. Okay, right. I mean sometimes to me, if I if I felt like like the wife and I, we just been detached, like life is just fucking pulling us in separate directions. And if I can get fucking 10 minutes, just me and her, no interruptions, like like that's fucking therapy. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like I like a couple weeks ago, we had like cuddled for like the first time in like months. Nigga, we were snoring. I said, damn, how long? I said, I don't think we got through the intro of the movie, nigga. We were both knocked the fuck out. And it was like home, right? Yeah, we're at home.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

Okay, I was like, I mean, they have the the layout couches. It's a fair question. They do have the couches now, so like, damn, that's an expensive nap.

SPEAKER_03 3:32

And I think that just like it's just like a testament to like sometimes life just pulls you in so many directions, and like I'm I might be going north,

What If I Have Nothing to Say?

SPEAKER_03 3:40

she may be going south, and it's just like, and at the same time, we we we together, but we just checking in. You know what I'm saying? There's no no connection there, and then so when I get that time to be like, oh, you know, I actually do like the nigga when I want when I'm talking to you and we ain't talking about the bullshit, like bills and and what she needs, and we just being us, like I actually do like you. It's just that other bullshit. So you know, it's kind of like what Michelle said, Obama, it's the kids ruin your life. Uh ways, there's definitely ways. Yeah, she said kids kids will ruin it will eat at your relationship because they your relationship become about the goddamn kids. I could have, I mean, I could understand. I think that so when I get that time, that's therapy. When I get those moments, those little moments with my daughter, that's therapy. Because it's kind of like like when you when you when you have those little moments with your kids and it kind of like reaffirms like I'm doing this shit right. Like, yeah, like that, that's therapy. Like that, like man, like I can be having the most stressed out day. I'm worried about how all a bunch of shit gonna get done. And then she says some shit, I'll be like, you know what, man, that shit don't even matter. Like, there's this cute ass nigga right here. What you want, nigga? You know what I'm saying? Like that that's therapy, you know what I'm saying? But yeah, exactly. To answer your question, like for me, like personally, or it's like I was if it's not the gym, like if I if I can get a good book, that's therapy. If what if I can get a good sermon in from time to time, that's therapy. It's just like something, anything that I can detach temporarily from reality, and I can just be within myself, is therapy to me. That's good. Yeah, nigga, I read, nigga. I read that. Wait, nigga, I'm reading this book right now. It's called 40 Acres, nigga. It's like, it's like a it's like it's like no no no no, it's like it's it's like it's like uh it's like some Illuminati type shit, but the niggas in charge.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

Period.

SPEAKER_03 5:28

And they finna fuck this white nigga up.

SPEAKER_02 5:31

I like it.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

I like sounds like a good read. It is.

SPEAKER_04 5:37

Oh, you didn't hear therapy outside of uh video games tend to do it for me.

SPEAKER_01 5:43

Uh I I like I'll play a video game, it's specific video games, and I'll completely just not think about uh certain things, especially if it's something where you feel like you can um figure some shit out. And you once you figure it out, you feel like a fucking like a G in that moment. And I like creating too. Like I like anything I get to create or build something, and it's something you didn't think you could do when you did that shit. I did that shit. That was me. That makes me feel therapy, like you said with lawns too. When I when I do my lawns, look at that. I I won't say what I won't tell you what I say, because it's not, it'll probably get us canceled. But when I do my lawn and I'm like, I dish that shit. Look at that. It looked like I did that shit.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

So it's like accomplishments, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

And it'll give me this high. Uh same thing with therapy. Like, I walk out feeling high, like like a certain high, like I got all that shit off my chest.

SPEAKER_04 6:34

Like creating and shit. Uh yeah, my therapist is a fitness person, I can tell. Why? Because she always would just be like, Yeah, you know, and just I could hike. I'm just like, I told you I'd be trying to hike. Like, I don't don't be out there like that.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

But there's so many levels to a hike.

SPEAKER_04 6:53

Oh, I know.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

There's a lot of uh, this is a mountain dog.

SPEAKER_03 6:57

What we doing?

SPEAKER_02 6:58

When it's three miles to the top, I mean, I mean, there's it's not bad, so some of them slow, pretty much. There's different ways y'all are just talking about like the endurance of it. Like, there's different feels to take from that. Like, if I'm on a hike, like it's the visual. Like, I don't just be hiking all the time. No, I know, but I'm just saying, like, it's not just the man.

SPEAKER_04 7:21

He on some hippie shit right now. That that that dark, that dark getting there. That looks true. Um, oh, I haven't said nothing, huh? Um, set back for me. I think you guys know, lost my friend. Um, and the fashion that it happened, like the shitty part, like I can't even like talk about it here. Yeah, because it's like, you know, all that shit that's wrapped up in it. Um makes you think a lot of shit. Uh especially like Same Field and all that stuff. So you're just like, if it was the next day, it was both of us. Like, that's just how that would have been. Um you kind of you look at things a lot different. Like, you look at things a lot different. Um I think I was explaining it to my therapist actually, it's like there's a before the accident and then the half after the accident, how things felt like they shifted a bit. But like I said, I'm coming back into myself, like the the hurt and stuff don't go away. I think we we actually just talked about that not too long ago, like to deal with it a different way. Um but what's funny is like the past couple days is I've been doing more creating and like putting things out. So I think it's like on paper at least. So I think that's that's probably a bigger step than anything I've had. But it's one of those where it's like uh that's been my like silver lining is that I got a way to put this out now. Now I'm putting something on paper at least and yeah, turning out some shit. I'm a genius, but we'll have to actually finish writing it. Um

Everyday Mental Health Tools

SPEAKER_04 9:10

just let it just start it and let chat finish it. Nah, I won't feel right, but I do I have gotten a little well, we'll get to that a little more. Um take a break. Um we'll go to hip hop or music, just music this year. What uh we'll do a few things. What's your like your thoughts on the state of hip hop and the state of RB currently this past six months?

SPEAKER_02 9:37

Spending that money.

SPEAKER_04 9:39

We already know where you at. Spend that shit.

SPEAKER_03 9:44

I'm kidding. If I if I'm that's the song, it's the song of the summer. It is the song of the summer. If I'm if I'm keeping it 100, I'm I'm I'm I'm in full onk mode, nigga.

SPEAKER_04 9:54

I'm I it's 92, just only 92, and and no, it's it's not even ask that.

SPEAKER_03 10:01

What you listening to? Uh sprinkle me, man. No, nigga. But I'm I haven't even been listening to rap, nigga. I've been listening to I've been listening to Lil Pentagrath and Whitney and Patty. I'm with RB. Hey, nigga, hey. I keep alone. I just can't, you know, I don't know what it is, man. Even like in the gym, it's weird. I can't do it no more. It's just the shit irritated me. I will say I was at the gym the other day, and you know, at my private gym, we we get to pick music, and some nigga uh some nigga picked put on Taylor Maid and that pissed me off, so I wouldn't put not like us on right neck after that shit.

SPEAKER_02 10:32

Taylor Bade. That's the Drake uh private gym taking it to be called. I was trying to stall it out. He would have called me Rich as fun, but it's okay.

SPEAKER_03 10:39

What happened? Your private gym. Yeah, private gym, yeah. Yeah, no, there's private gym and public gym. You know what I mean? It's two different.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

I don't know anything about the private gym.

SPEAKER_03 10:46

I'll let you know.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

I've never heard of them.

SPEAKER_03 10:48

Um guess because the secrets of the game. I don't pay for that membership. Uh guest past the 25 a day 30 for the week. Uh so yeah, like it's just like for me, I just I know I so it's when I I can't do it. I just I do honestly.

SPEAKER_04 11:02

I feel like most new rap because new albums, you like that one?

SPEAKER_03 11:06

I feel like most new rap is trash. I feel like the only thing, the only the only popular artist I can say I have enjoyed the music they released in the last in like the last year and a half would be the clips album. Baby King. I I fuck with Baby King. The birds and the bees, I fuck with Baby King and Kendrick. And a lot of the other shit I listened to, I'm like, man, I will never listen to this shit again.

SPEAKER_04 11:28

Cold, not too hot. Uh RB might be cold and let me know.

SPEAKER_03 11:32

RB might be kicking hip hop. The one rap song I've listened to the most this last year and a half has been Frego. That is my shit.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

Who's that by?

SPEAKER_03 11:41

Frego? That nigga at the end of the table. That nigga, who's up? That shit go hard. Oh, yeah, yeah. That shit. I can't I gotta stop listening because I get I get active when I start getting it. Don't stop. Nah, I mean, I get on my violin shit. I gotta stop.

SPEAKER_02 11:57

I don't know if it's that music is really and hear me out. I don't know if it's necessarily that music is trash, so to speak, because I like to give people their artistry, right? Okay, you don't take away from artistry if it if it's bad. I guess what I'm saying is you get to a point where because I feel you, I don't really listen. I have a couple of new things that I've listened to, but for the most part, I play the same songs in my car, or I'm not playing nothing, to be honest. A lot of times it's like a sermon or a podcast in my car. And when I do put something on, it's like the gap band or some shit or Nipsey or some, it's like my my people, like you know what I'm saying? It'd be the same type of playlist and shit. Um I think that we move away from what the time is, like, and I'm not calling us uncles and aunties.

SPEAKER_03 12:45

Well, that's why I said I'm in for uncle.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

Yeah, and it could be that, and maybe I do need to just call it that. But I think you just kind of okay, I put it like this. When I remember when I was a kid and we'd be listening to the radio. And my dad would put the radio on just because it's the right, like at the time, what they wouldn't put the CDs and shit in. My dad was just playing the radio, and every now and then a song would be kind of catchy for him, and he would sing along to it. But when they was playing CDs, they was playing the shit that they was familiar with. You know what I'm saying? And I don't, but at the same time, when you give that time frame, that was when we was growing up. We would arguably say that was the best time for music. So, with that being said, I think you just kind of move along. Culture changes, generations change. And I again, I don't want to discredit what the new culture has, let y'all have it. Um, but I definitely agree. I'm doing the same thing. I just don't want to be like music is trash now. I don't think it's fair to say that.

SPEAKER_03 13:39

I just feel like so much so much of the shit is just recycled. Nothing's creative. Well, that's the same thing with movies. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 13:46

You mean samples? Like, what do you mean with the sample?

SPEAKER_03 13:48

The samples are are we have plenty of samples. Right, right. But then you also, but you also have some uh rap. You also have you can now, I'm to the point now where I've listened to rap long enough where I can tell when niggas are recycling lyrics too. Oh, the lyrics. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, nigga, this don't this this you didn't say this first. Like, like this is not new.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

No, I if I'm being.

SPEAKER_03 14:06

But that's been part of hip hop for a long time.

SPEAKER_02 14:08

Yeah, the time should keep repeating themselves.

SPEAKER_03 14:10

Yeah, but they would, they would, they, they would, they would sample or bite a line, but then they would make it interesting and they would go to the songs. Niggas just say shit that was hot because you used to be hot, and they think because they said some hot shit, they song is hot and that shit is trash.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

Monday, Tuesday, you come. Thursday, you're gonna make it around. That's a real baby came.

SPEAKER_03 14:28

But that shit inspired the way he did it.

SPEAKER_01 14:29

The belly, that shit inspired. But on Saturday, we practicing the birds and the bees. I see that shit to my wife.

SPEAKER_04 14:36

He's fucked. Baby King Birds and the Bees, man. Yeah, he's a good youngster.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

Yeah, you can tell he's heavily Kendrick influenced. He's influenced by his cousin a lot.

SPEAKER_04 14:45

I'm just saying, you know. Yeah, I don't know, man. I think RB's kicking hip hop's ass real. Yeah, I can agree with that.

SPEAKER_03 14:51

Oh, I love you some Tim's.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

Yeah, I love Tim's. I haven't really. I like I like I got a couple standards.

SPEAKER_03 14:57

When she said she's so confused, I said, baby, I'll help you figure it out.

SPEAKER_04 14:59

I went through a mean ass fucking Afrobeats phase for a minute. I'm just going, damn, I'm just over here.

SPEAKER_02 15:06

I was like, this is depressing at all as hell, but this is like the newest album that keeps coming to mind for me is Jesse Reyes. She's like a little hyphetic. No, no, she's dope. I love it.

SPEAKER_04 15:17

She's actually really, really good. I'm a big pop artist

Finding Peace in Routine

SPEAKER_04 15:20

fan.

SPEAKER_02 15:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:21

But she's like, there's some of them where you can tell they have something more.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

Yeah, she's already. She's RB, but it's it's pop in there. I will say that there are I love her though.

SPEAKER_03 15:29

I will say that there are some RB artists that I found like on social media that I fuck with. They're but it's mostly the RB artists, not the rappers.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

I know that's true.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

Hey, that's a very because I feel like when it I but I feel like RB is kind of like it's kind of like the Chico because you I mean you can sing about some shit, you can say some shit similar ways, but like sing it, sing it differently. But like I think with RB, like with me personally, with the music, I have to have a connection to it for me to want to listen to it again and again, right? Okay. Even like when it comes to rap, like you can say some dope shit, but like if I don't really relate to it, you alright?

SPEAKER_01 16:08

I'm old. I just literally put my foot down on the mat and it pops. My whole knee popped. What does that make?

SPEAKER_03 16:15

Like I got to write now. I have to uh I have to tell y'all. Yeah, I have to to I have to relate to it. That's why I feel like even like when I think about, like you said, J. Cole earlier, right? When I think about Cole's music, all of all of my favorite music from Cole is the shit I relate to. Friday Night Lights, I can relate to that shit. I was in, I was in college when that when I heard that shit. I I I I I went through some of the shitty rap about on that album. Yeah. For the um, a lot of people don't like the uh for your eyes only. I fuck with that because a lot of the shit on that shit I can relate to. I I was having my my wife was crazy selling dope. No, I was not that nigga, but I but I was living in San Bernardino. Niggas probably thought I was. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 16:54

And then with RB, a lot of shit is always relatable.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

And with R with RB and soul music, I grew up on that shit. And like you can you can tell, like I I listen to a lot of RB, a lot of lot of Bobby Wolf Mac, a lot of lot of Betty White, a lot of gap band, a lot of lot of you know, a lot of Earth Wanna Fire. Like, I lit I grew up listening to shit like that. So that's what like that, like you know how they say music uh impacts your personality, and like so like when I listen to RB, when I listen to love music, it's nostalgic to me, but it's also who I am. Yeah, so it's like I can relate to that shit because I have a wife I fucking love. So I can when they when I sing that shit, I'm singing to her, and I mean that shit. So that this shit hit different. Well, some of those songs were straight dirty mac and back to us.

SPEAKER_04 17:37

I was like, damn, this is fucked up.

SPEAKER_03 17:38

Like they make this nigga half of SWV songs are they they dirty mac. She's singing to another bitch man the whole time.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

Yeah, no, that's a good point. I think even too, like you bring up your wife, and that's a good point because I'm like, damn, I'm single and I love that shit too. But it's like you can still relate to it just from a perspective.

SPEAKER_03 17:56

But you but you but also think about I know how I love in a certain type of thing. But like when I but like when I also like when I when I hear like Odis, right? When it's so like when I hear like like whispers, right? I fucking love the whispers, right? Or when I hear spinners, nigga. I'm at I let us in my mind, I'm picturing I'm at a family function, the dominoes going. It's a good, it's happy memories. It's only because that's over, too. There's no more yeah, ain't no more than that shit.

SPEAKER_04 18:18

No, there's not another male RB group.

SPEAKER_03 18:22

No, anymore.

SPEAKER_04 18:24

Yeah, it's over. Like, that's crazy. That's the craziest shit in the world. Like, yeah, we got it. Yeah. Well, that mercy was trash. We can't call them RB.

SPEAKER_02 18:35

But yeah, it's but that that type of music is timeless. Like we when we have we had no nigga.

SPEAKER_03 18:41

The whispers and the spitters.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

We had my daughter's party last week, and um she used to be mad. That's my that's my shit. That's OJ. I love that. That's my shit. That's old dating.

SPEAKER_04 18:54

That's old data. You ain't got to be all old and shit. We uh know.

SPEAKER_02 18:57

I let that song. Oh, what you know about the old. I know who you know what you got to do.

SPEAKER_03 19:04

That's that that's that that's Eddie's daddy. But with yes, that's Eddie's senior, not Eddie Doy.

SPEAKER_02 19:08

No, that yeah. That's Gerald's daddy. Yeah, Gerald Daddy. That's Gerald Daddy. Oh boy, Eddie. Uh no, we got we had my daughter's party last week, and the DJ, when he first started out, he was playing that type of shit. And it was cool. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, and the kids had it was really just a family still. My kid, my daughter's friends hadn't really got there. And that's how my family parties. That's like, and it's funny too, because my daughter was like, Y'all about to be playing all, and that's why I intentionally got a DJ because I know how my family do. We'll play some old shit, you'll get some some newer songs, but if somebody is on the on the shit, oh, somebody's about to put Teddy Pendergrass. I don't give a fuck if it's we're listening to Gladys Knight and the Pips, like we're doing that. So I got the DJ so we could kind of keep it up. But but the DJ being kind of in the same age group or whatever, basically. He said, Oh, that's a family function. And he gave us all the shit and what we're talking about. And my uncle, one of my uncles was like, we need to play that too. Once I start drinking, we had to play that. Uh, but yeah, it was cool. I think that it's just a part of like the culture of my uncle was like, Oh, I'm cool with this music. He loved it, you know, the first couple hours, and then they started playing that that spin that shit. My uncle was like, All right, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:30

Well, I mean, you know, if if if I ever have another Star War in my house, you know, uh McFlywell, they can attest, nigga, that I play everything from from OJ's to Backstreet Boys. This is true.

SPEAKER_02 20:42

Oh, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 20:44

If I like it, I'm playing it. I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

I feel you. Yeah, I feel you.

SPEAKER_03 20:48

I mean, I'll be in the backyard.

SPEAKER_02 20:49

Bye bye bye.

SPEAKER_03 20:51

I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

But music, music is therapeutic, and I think that that's the thing. Like what people can kind of relate on that, like I said, like this DJ that I had, I knew him kind of mutually through my sister and brother-in-law or whatever. And I was like, oh, this nigga cool. Like he's coming back, you know, like uh with DJ? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

I thought it was a good thing. She got she got money. She hired DJ's parties and shit.

SPEAKER_04 21:14

Hello.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

What you think?

SPEAKER_04 21:17

State of the culture.

SPEAKER_01 21:19

I feel like after watching the snippets of a concert that I didn't get to go to, the Jay-Z concert last night. I feel like we're in a good place. If this man who's in his mid-50s can put on a show like that, bring out Nas and bring out his daughter to play piano on.

SPEAKER_02 21:41

Don't forget he brought his wife out.

SPEAKER_03 21:44

Oh my god, who might cares about it?

SPEAKER_02 21:46

Don't forget his wife like that.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

But I just think it's dope that uh he can still command an audience like that. So I feel like we're in a good state. Especially him coming back out is uh it says a lot. Because I feel like it was needed because of What every what everything else is going.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

So I just be wishing we still had Nipsey. I ain't even gonna lie. That's how I be feeling. I haven't listened to I mean, is it out

Life Before and After Grief

SPEAKER_02 22:10

yet? Prolific.

SPEAKER_04 22:11

No, yeah. I mean, I'm probably not gonna lie. Yeah, like I don't want to say that, but I'm gonna say it.

SPEAKER_02 22:18

That's how I feel though, Kevin. Like, I'm a little conflicted. Like, don't get me wrong, like they had a little shit, like they have a little brand. Yeah, they have they had this little thing where they were selling like the shirts and the vinyls or whatever. I bought two of the shirts or whatever, just you know, I support or whatever. Because I love what his brother is doing, so I I fully will always support that. I love Black Sam, like literally. But the album, I'm like, I don't know if I want that disappointment.

SPEAKER_04 22:46

Like, I was gonna be a lot of really good hooks. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:51

Right. RB, that's where I'm at. All right. Yeah. He's he toes the line a little bit though. No, he don't. Uh what's an unexpected routine that you think that uh that you've come up with that's happened in your life this year? Or has anything you want to know? Oh shit. I do. You don't want to know.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

I do.

SPEAKER_04 23:13

You don't want to know.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

If he says you don't want, I don't think you want to know.

SPEAKER_04 23:17

I'm gonna tell you.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

Yeah. I might regret it immediately. It doesn't matter what time I wake up, 35 minutes later, I gotta take a shit.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

That's not bad. Just not bad. It doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

So it's to the point now where I will not leave home because I know you gotta wait 35 minutes. I gotta wait.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

That means you regularly. That's good.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

That's like today. I was like, well, they gonna nigga, they're gonna have to wait.

SPEAKER_04 23:38

Cause If you switched it, I would have been like, you shouldn't have told me if you're like, uh, I've been trying to wake up to shit and I ain't made it in the past month.

SPEAKER_02 23:47

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_03 23:49

This is new. You wasn't you wasn't it just it's I think it's funny how my body just it does shit on his own. Like nigga, it used to be no, I used to be a good, you know.

SPEAKER_02 23:59

Okay, so now you don't have to continue.

SPEAKER_03 24:01

No, I used to be, I used to be a good at work on the clock, get paid for it. Now it's like nigga, just you said you can skip this out right now. We can stop talking about these bowel movements. Well, I mean, you said you want to know, no, I did. I did. Thank you. I'm glad you're regular.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

Mine is my freaking morning stretches.

SPEAKER_04 24:19

Oh, that's good. The way your back hurt, huh?

SPEAKER_02 24:22

Well, we're not going to be able to do it, wait.

SPEAKER_04 24:24

How's that unexpected? Because my back you weren't doing them before? Mm-mm. Oh, okay. So my bad. My apologies.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

I wasn't doing those before. That's been a this year thing. Probably kind of March, April, maybe. Um, yeah, my back, my back has been messed up for probably about a good five years here and there. But this year has been like, oh, I'm really fucked up.

SPEAKER_04 24:46

Like, it was what you saving it for like retirement?

SPEAKER_02 24:49

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_04 24:50

Go get a back surgery right before you retire.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

Hell no. Hell no. I did workers comp a couple years ago. I'll never do that shit again. Um, but no, so I developed a stretch routine, and like you said, my back hurts right now, but I came here first thing in the morning. I did not do my stretch routine. So I think that like hurting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:11

Um, she got her loose juice.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

I do got my loose juice.

SPEAKER_03 25:20

No, but she called it.

SPEAKER_04 25:21

Yeah, all right. Oh man, in the wrong circles.

SPEAKER_02 25:29

What's wrong, Sean? Nothing. Thank God I don't have a man because that nigga would be like, what the fuck do you mean he was over there drinking loose with them niggas? Hey, I mean, I'm not, I don't drink. Um, what was I gonna say? But yeah, that that was like damn. That was unexpected, but it it literally is like one of the best parts of my day. I already kind of had morning routines, so it I've adopted it as a part of the morning routines I already had. Um, but yeah, it does some wonders. So I'm glad that I've done that.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

Morning routine that I you don't necessarily have to be morning.

SPEAKER_04 26:10

You don't have to be morning. There's something you didn't expect you would be doing now where you're like, damn, I guess this is what I do now.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

I think scour the internet for interesting, uh, random shit that I find. Like, and I'll be like, I need to know about this. So I'm like more about it. And I'm like, this, I don't know why, but I need to know about it. I that's my like that too. I'm like, I just need to know about this. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_03 26:34

Ain't nothing wrong with a quest for uh for knowledge.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

But I do it daily basically. Usually I applaud that. Hey, I applaud that.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

Um you'd want to know when it's a I was just telling somebody this. It's annoying though when you do it. I have a problem with if I if I'm watching a movie that's a true story, I'm looking up the true story.

SPEAKER_03 26:54

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:55

Like, I stopped watching shit. I just had a whole like, okay, so somebody recommended a murder to me, right?

SPEAKER_03 27:03

No, not because of that.

SPEAKER_02 27:04

Because you're like, this nigga was that yeah, like you really get caught up on the true story of it.

SPEAKER_03 27:08

You're like, hey, kid, you can't be this dumb.

SPEAKER_02 27:10

Um, somebody recommended a movie to me, and I'm watching the movie, I'm watching the movie, or whatever, and then I'm like, oh, this is a true story. So I just started looking on my phone. So then when it came back to it, it's like, oh, did you finish the movie? And I'm like, nah, I can't I read this shit. You said what the fuck was you looking at for? But I'm like, damn, like I got lost looking it up.

SPEAKER_03 27:30

I will say this. I started watching, I don't watch TV, so I tried to watch uh the it's like uh nightmare neighbor or worlds no some some but niggas with terrible neighbors where they kill each other and shit. Well, she ended up she killed this nigga. Oh, I'll be watching the moments now, but I was like just straight murder. I kept watching. I was like, at what point should you move? No, it wasn't no the bitch was recording them, but they never did anything in return. So at what point were you gonna try to protect yourself and you just let this bitch just run

Creating Through Pain

SPEAKER_03 28:00

your? I said, This is some dumb shit. I said, I would have selled this shit the first week.

SPEAKER_04 28:04

Yeah, they all just the ones I watch, they always just I'm gonna walk over there and just shoot them, and they're like, You're not gonna get away with that.

SPEAKER_03 28:10

She the one I watched, she walked over there, opened the door, shot the wife, went to when the back shot the husband.

SPEAKER_04 28:14

I think I just watched that one. And I said, I think I just watched he was on the ladder, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That that bitch is crazy.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

I said, it's some crazy shit. It's like my neighbor, yeah. And I and I and I I stopped watching. I said, I'm not, I'm done.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

I was thinking of the one on Hulu was it this Natalia Grace, the the girl that was a dwarf with Oh, she acted like she was a kid, yeah. But like they they made a Hulu original movie, and that movie was completely different than the the actual story, and I was like, yo, Hollywood is fucked up. Like it's they were like based on a true story, bullshit. Yeah, just the basic story. The orphan, and you guys said it was basically all right, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 28:54

They just used a little bouillon, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:56

They shit heavily seasoned. That was high sodium shit.

SPEAKER_04 29:00

Yeah. Uh what? Oh, gymnastics now, the competitive shit. I didn't know it was twice like that. I didn't know. I nigga, I've been telling you for years. Yeah, you probably did, and I didn't listen. I was like, gosh, ain't then she said I'm gonna do it. So that's what I do now. That's my routine. You're you're gymnastics.

SPEAKER_03 29:17

It's high as fucking. You gotta get your you gotta get your shirts now.

SPEAKER_04 29:22

Nigga, I you told me. I didn't know it was the price. I told you. When they're like, oh, you gotta get sweatsuit, and I was like, Oh, you gotta buy them individually. Yes. Okay. Got him. Got him. I told you. She's good though. All right, we almost through. We almost through, guys. Biggest uh is she enjoying it? No, she's enjoying the fuck out of it. She was trying to get out of it the other day because she like hurt her ankle. And she was like, Oh, I don't want to do this. It's like, shut up, get your ass over there.

SPEAKER_03 29:50

Do you go to practice or do you run it home?

SPEAKER_04 29:52

Yeah, I'm gonna go to practice. We already bought that. Who did that? Somebody just did that to the kid. Who's making him run on the side of the car? He's like, this car's at six miles per hour. You better keep up, man. Keep up.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

Keep it pushing. Better that than the whooping. That was his alternative. I'll take the whooping. The whooping to be done.

SPEAKER_03 30:14

Yeah, nigga. Like, and get the fuck out. Let me get these tears off and back to regular life.

SPEAKER_04 30:22

Um, I think I'll say for me, because this question is what is like the biggest lesson you've learned? We all touched on it a little bit, but me, I think, is not taking shit for granted and attack. I've always said it, but it's attack. You gotta do. It's uh easier to uh find an excuse to not do. So, first step, one step at a time.

SPEAKER_03 30:49

The biggest lesson I learned is that the world will purposely try to misunderstand you. So those who do try to understand you, hold on to them.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

Fuck with that.

SPEAKER_02 31:05

I like that. Yo, Negro. I really like that.

SPEAKER_04 31:09

You can't steal it, you can't steal it. She's about to try to steal it.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

I'm gonna just go with no sense.

SPEAKER_03 31:19

Damn, damn. I'm nigga, I'm in the world. What the fuck? Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_02 31:22

I do. I just want to disappear from the world. Um I mean you stay gone. It'd be other people in the world though where I'm at. Damn, you trying to have us rapture? Just wanted to be me and a few people here. That's it.

SPEAKER_04 31:41

Is that the lesson?

SPEAKER_02 31:42

Uh the lesson that I have learned is to um just just just a treat, just to do right, right? I feel like there's there's always good things coming to me in this life. My life has taught me that there's always good things coming to me. So I just need to do my part. I need to do right. I need to do show up for myself, the people that I love, and I need to um be obedient in my faith and structured in my faith to really have all of that be uh fostered the way that it needs to. So that's that's what I think.

SPEAKER_04 32:24

Nice. Like did it.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

I think I learned I keep reiterating that, but it's uh situations that have been thrown at me is it's just an opportunity to um change the situation or perspective. Um every time I've been presented something, especially this year, it's been like, oh shit, I wasn't expecting that at all. How the fuck do I handle this? And then you handle it and you go, oh. Alright, so it's just new. It's different. I can fuck with different and then yeah, that's what's been happening. Oh, I wasn't expecting this. Fuck it. Just roll with it.

SPEAKER_03 33:10

I like it. Also, discipline outweighs motivation any day.

SPEAKER_04 33:16

Yeah, yeah, motivation don't matter with people.

SPEAKER_03 33:21

That's my hang up. Because you can be motivated at one and at one or and at one or two, be like, man, fuck this.

SPEAKER_01 33:27

That's what David Goggin said. He don't do motivation.

Hip Hop, R&B & Timeless Music

SPEAKER_01 33:30

Like when people tell him they're what what motivated fuck you don't do motivation, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:35

Discipline and and self-control, self-control, especially, like, is a big thing. Um, and to have like honestly, if I'm really being real, like just if people just had a code, give yourself a code and honor that shit. Yeah, I think a lot of people, and whatever your code may look like, we all have different walls.

SPEAKER_04 33:57

Some niggas got smaky ass codes. No, and I mean, well, like hey nigga, at least you I respect that you're sticking to your code.

SPEAKER_02 34:04

Sticking to your code, period. Stay over there with that code, but stay over there, and I think that that's the thing. When you're dealing with people, and then you gotta also give people the grace and respect of if they don't want to fuck with you, they don't have to. That's not that you're any, you're who you are, be who you are, keep doing who you are. But when you go along the way and there's certain people, then it's just like not really for me. And take that for what it is. Not everybody is fucked up, not everybody's being a hater, not everybody's being a snake, they don't fuck with you. Period. So that's how I see it. Um because everybody loves to throw haters around. Everybody, like, I don't, I'm not a hater. I don't like what you do. It's not for me. Uh, I think a hater is a whole nother is a whole nother level.

SPEAKER_03 34:52

That's different. I feel like if people feel like you hate if you if you disagree with them, they feel like you hate it. Just if I disagree, don't mean I'm hating. I just like nigga, you just wrong. I'm just hating. Not my I feel like to hate on somebody, you gotta actually like you gotta actually like put like negative energy like towards stopping what they're doing. I thought or are or talk badly about something. I just feel like sometimes like if I'm being honest, like nigga ain't gonna work. Or you just say, no, nigga, I really believe that shit ain't gonna work.

SPEAKER_02 35:23

Not a good idea.

SPEAKER_04 35:24

Like, I don't know y'all some haters shit. It's just hating.

SPEAKER_02 35:31

No, that's how I feel though. But no, everybody, it's not always that, it's not always somebody hating, it's not always somebody being mean to you. It's always we all just have our different lives.

SPEAKER_04 35:40

Sometimes the mean to you part is like, so what, nigga? People get mean.

SPEAKER_02 35:44

Well, people really feel that way, man. You're being mean, you're like, that's they're mean, but there's people that translate you not really stay away from them. I cannot exactly I cannot really deal with you the way that I deal with other people who I really fuck with, and now I'm being mean. I'm not being mean.

SPEAKER_04 35:58

Nah, some niggas is mean, and if niggas are just mean, don't be like, I don't hang out with that mean ass nigga over there. That nigga's just mean. Some niggas just sensitive, bro.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

No, that's true, that's very true. But yeah, very true. But like going back to what I said, have the have you a code, try to have your code based on some type of honor fucking system, but have you a code and stick by it? Because at the end of the day, like if as long as you stick by what your code is, can't nobody really be mad. Yeah, because I know that that's you, no, you know, so it is what it is. Just be authentic and what the fuck you doing. I I feel like I'm getting irritated right now. What the fuck? What? Huh?

SPEAKER_01 36:36

Where'd that come from? No, we don't. I don't know. I think it's the drink.

SPEAKER_02 36:39

She just even said she did say that.

SPEAKER_04 36:42

Hey, she didn't say that, she was like that.

SPEAKER_02 36:44

It might I just feel like people just should just be true to themselves. The truer you are to the the truer you are to yourself. Hold on.

SPEAKER_00 36:52

Well, you ain't gotta be true.

SPEAKER_02 36:54

The truer you are to yourself, the better you will show up in this world. That's what got me irritated. Because I feel like people just don't be being true to themselves.

SPEAKER_03 37:04

I also feel feel like people don't understand the level of obsession you need to be great at something. Like you can't, you you you really like the level of what you do anything is really determined on how much effort and how much consistent effort you put into it.

SPEAKER_00 37:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:24

Like if you really want to be great at something, like when you when you think of the greats, when you think of the the the the Kobe's, when you think of the other of the mics, you think of the uh obsession that they put into their craft, and that that's really what made them great. That's really what made them play at the level. It's the uh the obsession. It's it's it's the not taking the days off. Yeah, I'm talking about practice, nigga.

SPEAKER_02 37:50

Okay, I ain't talking about practice. I'm talking about practice.

SPEAKER_01 37:54

Okay, the word obsession has been ruined by the internet for a while. What's because the show movie? The show?

SPEAKER_03 37:59

I've never seen Obsession, I've never seen it.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

But they keep it oh the new one, but at the same time, we what do we do?

SPEAKER_02 38:08

We strive for excellence, but we can't be perfect. We can only strive for excellence. What the fuck can't get it?

SPEAKER_03 38:16

The only thing perfect in this world is imperfection.

SPEAKER_04 38:18

It's Jesus. Um my baby, it's called they said uh he said movies. That's what let's check in movies that uh you like this year and looking forward to.

SPEAKER_01 38:31

Spider-Man brand new day is what I'm looking forward.

SPEAKER_04 38:34

Yeah, that's about it.

SPEAKER_01 38:34

And Avengers Doomsday.

SPEAKER_04 38:36

That's about it. That's it. Yeah, there ain't no Christmas movies, not Christmas, but you know how every Christmas there's something. I did like Michael, and I did like Hoppers.

SPEAKER_01 38:46

I fuck with Hoppers.

SPEAKER_04 38:47

I haven't seen Michael yet. Michael's good. I've heard it's good.

SPEAKER_02 38:50

Michael was good. I don't think that's the only movie I oh you know what I thought. Housemate.

SPEAKER_03 38:57

What's that one? Oh, you know what? Yeah, Housemate, my wife watched that shit. I was like, man, just I just wanted to see a titty. They didn't never showed it. Uh Housemate was good. They got no girl in it.

The Habits That Stick

SPEAKER_02 39:10

I'm looking for you. Um I think I'm gonna watch it.

SPEAKER_04 39:13

I didn't know Odyssey was no until my own.

SPEAKER_02 39:16

And then uh wanted to take the baby to see, but I can't think of it right. Four story five? Toy Story Five.

SPEAKER_04 39:22

Four story five. We still ain't been watching. All right, we're gonna get out of here. I got one more.

SPEAKER_03 39:28

I thought that was the last one.

SPEAKER_04 39:29

No, nigga, I didn't say that.

SPEAKER_03 39:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 39:31

My bad, nigga. My bad. Okay, we close. Yeah, we close. Nigga, we been. It's uh what are your goals for the remainder of the year? Money, nigga. And this is for personal.

SPEAKER_02 39:46

Oh my gosh, I want to say uncomfortable that I said.

SPEAKER_04 39:48

Should I say so podcast and a personal?

SPEAKER_03 39:52

Uh my personal goal this year is to level up.

SPEAKER_04 39:57

How so? What is that? What do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 39:59

Huh? What do you mean and level up? Huh? What do you mean in level up? Internally on a personal level. Okay, attain a level of peace that cannot be bothered.

SPEAKER_04 40:09

Oh, Nirvana.

SPEAKER_03 40:11

Not not that bad. No, I don't mean it got damn.

SPEAKER_01 40:17

I got dark.

SPEAKER_02 40:19

Real quick, that's not

Discipline Beats Motivation

SPEAKER_02 40:20

what I mean. I need I need some moment.

SPEAKER_04 40:22

I'm in the lead. I'm in Nirvana. That's a gold.

SPEAKER_01 40:25

The state of the game, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:28

And uh you said Zed on's for the potty. Yeah. Uh the you know, the pot's always the same growth. Obsession, growth, fucking movie.

SPEAKER_02 40:39

Talk. Like, stop saying words and talk. That's what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_04 40:45

You gotta say words to talk.

SPEAKER_02 40:47

No, but he being like Michael Clark Duncan.

SPEAKER_04 40:51

Obsession.

SPEAKER_02 40:54

What do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_03 40:56

Growth. The podcast growth. I want to see growth.

SPEAKER_02 40:58

How?

SPEAKER_03 40:59

That's what I don't know, nigga. You tell me.

SPEAKER_01 41:02

My brain took it in. Yep. Every time. Yep.

SPEAKER_04 41:05

What? Yep.

SPEAKER_01 41:05

He said, that's what she got.

SPEAKER_02 41:09

Don't roll your eyes, nigga. No, I was rolling my eyes. That's kind of crazy.

SPEAKER_03 41:13

What you got? Um use your words.

SPEAKER_02 41:19

Can I go laugh? No.

SPEAKER_01 41:21

That's fine. Sure. Uh personally, uh I've been doing it is the continued uh therapy um and the music making, which is I I did rather enjoy doing a music video, so I want to do more of those. That's why I was talking to you, Kevin. Drones and uh freestyles.

SPEAKER_04 41:42

Yeah. I'm with it. I can't make no money though, legally, apparently, unless I do this fucking something.

SPEAKER_01 41:48

It's like some certificate, but just get sold for prior ship. I'll do it.

SPEAKER_04 41:52

I'll do it. Um now they got a lot of these weird rules with the drone. Like I got the one that's just because it's just under the weight that I don't have to do the FF FAA uh registration of it and all that shit. But um goals for myself is to get back into where I was at the start of this year, working, like working out, walking, losing weight, and um now putting pen to paper and uh allowing the creative process to do what it does. Personal.

SPEAKER_01 42:32

Oh, I didn't say the podcast part just real quick. Uh I want to do content creation for the podcast as far as like skits and shit. That's just me.

SPEAKER_04 42:42

No, that's part of my second part is uh figuring out ways that we can I don't know. I'm trying to figure out if we should even do it like where we don't necessarily have to do shit together, but just something for the pod. You know what I mean? I got an old commercial that I gotta update because Tish is yeah, we gotta fix that. So there's some stuff to be worked on.

SPEAKER_01 43:08

I want to do one of those. Uh have you seen them? The the Netflix documentary? I would love to do one with the podcast shit though.

SPEAKER_04 43:16

Yeah, I think we can knock that out with uh, because we don't have to be doing the same time, starting placing shit.

SPEAKER_01 43:22

Because that Raiders won't have me in tears. Being a Raiders fan, and when we start crying, I said, God damn.

SPEAKER_02 43:33

Are you are you a raiding fan?

SPEAKER_01 43:34

No. But it was funny.

SPEAKER_02 43:36

No, right. No, you like the Eagles. I remember that.

SPEAKER_01 43:38

Well, not waiting.

SPEAKER_02 43:39

So birds, nigga. Whoa, birds.

SPEAKER_01 43:42

I guess we could do one for being a Lakers fan right now.

SPEAKER_02 43:46

Um, I was hoping y'all would.

SPEAKER_04 43:50

I know you're trying to dunk it. We could tell. Trying to change subject, talking about sports and shit. You like the Raiders?

SPEAKER_02 43:57

Who said it like that, bro?

SPEAKER_03 44:00

You said that shit. Yeah, you did. That was you. That was I've been I've been chilling. I've been I've been real calm this whole time.

SPEAKER_02 44:08

I was trying to, I was trying to find an answer that uh other than the one that came into my mind. But a personal goal of my own right now is to um I'm kind of ready to be in a partnership with someone.

SPEAKER_01 44:22

Nah, you don't show.

SPEAKER_03 44:23

Don't do that.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

That's not blue face, is it?

SPEAKER_04 44:28

That's funny. That's funny.

SPEAKER_03 44:35

Like yourself, nigga.

SPEAKER_02 44:40

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 44:41

It's good on these relationship streaks.

SPEAKER_02 44:43

No, you guys. I'm ready for that. Uh, I've been singing for a long time. But I'm I I I didn't want to say it because it's like that's the first thing that came to my mind, but that is in no way saying that I well when you say it, you gotta put you put it out there now.

SPEAKER_03 44:56

It's in the universe.

SPEAKER_01 44:56

It's just not it's not blue face, though.

SPEAKER_04 44:58

Who's clipping this up? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:02

I don't want to fucking blue face.

SPEAKER_01 45:04

I mean, I mean, he could have possibly seen a clip and was like, oh, blue throw that careless whisper over the top.

SPEAKER_02 45:14

Uh but yeah, no, that's kind of a thing for me. I think mentally, uh, I'm kind of ready for that. My older kids are transitioning out the house. I got the baby. I might, I might be ready for that. But um, and I just kind of want to be my healthiest and best self ever. That's really where I'm at. Personal. And then for the podcast, um growth, I'd like to see us. You know what I'd like to see us do more is kind of like be able to engage. Now, do I have a roadmap for what that looks like right now? Absolutely not. So don't make me elaborate there. But I do want us to week. Huh?

SPEAKER_03 45:53

Put the email, yeah, emails the plan in the week.

SPEAKER_02 45:56

Okay. Uh I I I like the idea of us engaging

Living With Authenticity

SPEAKER_02 46:00

more on these types of topics with people for feedback and then just you know, to kind of see what that does. But yeah, I regret my answer already.

SPEAKER_04 46:13

Damn. Which part? Why? All of it.

SPEAKER_02 46:16

Russia does it.

SPEAKER_04 46:17

Oh, because you know what's coming. There's gonna be a just I'll be like, damn, we ain't never had this many comments. Anyway, hey, it's been a hell of a hell of a six, seven months. Six, seven. Sorry. Uh we got no kids. We got no kids.

SPEAKER_03 46:42

Fuck all you next.

SPEAKER_04 46:46

Glad that's just over. Uh until next time. Click like, subscribe.

SPEAKER_03 46:51

Um that show. Peace.

SPEAKER_04 46:58

That's right, you know, that's that's how you write. So make sure, click like, subscribe. Until next time.