Parents of the Year

192. Overstimulated, Overwhelmed, and Over It: Emotion Regulation During the Holidays

Caroline & Andrew Season 6 Episode 192

The holidays are supposed to be joyful—but for many families, they quietly amplify stress, overwhelm, and emotional reactivity.

In this special crossover episode with Parents of the Year podcast, Dr. Caroline and her husband Andrew step away from “perfect holiday” pressure and take a psychologically grounded look at why emotions run hotter during the holidays, for both kids and adults.

They explore how disrupted routines, sensory overload, social comparison, family dynamics, and unrealistic expectations tax the nervous system—and why emotional meltdowns, irritability, withdrawal, or disappointment are not signs of failure, but signals of dysregulation.This episode bridges emotion regulation science with real-life parenting moments.

Rather than trying to make emotions disappear, this conversation focuses on helping families anticipate emotional needs, regulate proactively, and respond with intention instead of reactivity.

Want to learn more about boosting resilience during the holidays? Check out these episodes:

Holiday Stress? Here's How to Build Real Resilience (https://youtu.be/jXgq7dn-hR4)

How can we nurture kids' emotional resilience during the holidays? (https://youtu.be/jXgq7dn-hR4)

Homework Ideas

Choose 2 Non-Negotiables + 2 Flexibles

Do:

  • Non-negotiables (examples): “We don’t do three houses in one day,” “We eat before we go,” “We leave by 7:30.”
  • Flexibles: “Which movie?” “Which dessert?” “When we open gifts (within a window).”
  • Share it with your child/teen (and any other adults involved) before the big day.

Build a Regulation Plan: Before / During / After

Do: Create a 3-part plan:

  • Before: sleep, food, hydration, quiet time, predict the tough moments
  • During: micro-breaks, movement, sensory supports, time limits
  • After: decompression time, low-demand evening, early bedtime when possible

Replacement Behaviours for Screen/Scroll Traps

Do: Choose a replacement behaviour you’ll do instead of scrolling when stressed:

  • 5-minute walk
  • short stretch
  • text one friend directly (real connection)

 Set a phone boundary: “No social media before noon” or “10 minutes max, with a timer.”

Set Expectations Explicitly 

Do: Ask:

  • “What are you most excited about—specifically?”
  • “What would make the day feel like a win?”
  • Then set realistic anchors:
    • one meaningful moment
    • one active thing
    • one connection point

Use “Let It Go vs. Address It” Sorting 

Do: Before gatherings, decide:

  • 2 things you’ll let go (minor irritations)
  • 1 thing you’ll address if needed (a true boundary)
  • Use a short phrase to hold it:
    • “Not today.”
    • “That’s not up for discussion.”
    • “We’re keeping it simple this year.”

End-of-Day Debrief: 3–2–1 Reset

Do (at bedtime or next morning): 3 things that went okay, 1 tweak

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