Episode 49: Dip Your Toe into the Pool of Possibilities

Ready to conquer your fears and take control of your future? Join us as we share our insights on courageously stepping beyond your comfort zone and into a life that will make your future self proud. We will help guide you off of your island of comfort and  navigating the choppy waters of uncertainty, ultimately reaching for that rescue ship representing the bright future you're striving toward.

Learn about the different approaches people take to push themselves out of their comfort zones and the possible risks and rewards associated with each. We'll examine the concept of upper limit problems and how they can manifest as waves attempting to force us back to shore. Most importantly, we'll provide valuable tips on utilizing self-compassion and courage to overcome these challenges and achieve your dreams. 

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:05

Welcome to season two of Manifestation Amemosas.

Speaker 2 0:08

I am Sophia And I'm Nicole, In this season, we're moving forward in the energy of love, growth and celebrating our collective journey.

Speaker 1 0:16

So join us for the always unfiltered and still slightly buzzed manifestation chat where we uplift and support you on your journey to creating a life your future self is proud of. Thank you for joining us again. Coming back every week, yeah, for more inspiration, right?

Speaker 2 0:34

Keep on coming back.

Speaker 1 0:35

High vibes. Yes, we're glad you're here. Thank you so much and leave us a five star review. We haven't given that reminder in a while, So guess what bitch Go do it.

Speaker 2 0:45

That would be great, that would be lovely, We love you.

Speaker 1 0:48

Yes, So this episode is called Dip Your Toe Into the Pool of Possibility. I had a few titles for this so you never know my change, but the Libra and me folks just dip your tool into the pool.

Speaker 2 1:03

Don't do that. Yeah, i was a the pool of possibilities of titles.

Speaker 1 1:14

You know there's several, so you just pick so many possibilities, whichever one you want, yes, so intentions for this episode, just want a level set with everyone. Yep, we want to give you a gentle nudge to explore the edges of your comfort zone. This will help you move towards the life that your future self will be proud of. Right Like this. You got to get out of your comfort zone, baby. If you want to make that, future life?

Speaker 2 1:39

Yep, because if nothing changes, nothing changes. Yeah, so if you want to make some change, you're going to have to push a little bit. You're going to have to fail probably. You're going to have to break down some barriers, you're going to have to push through some uncomfortable moments and push past the boundaries.

Speaker 1 1:57

You can do it, though It's hard, but it's worth it. Yes, it really is. So again, going back to my gal, daniela Port, when she talks about, you know, getting out of your comfort zone, we talk about courage and we talk about self compassion, right? So courage is not the absence of fear And I've actually read a few books on this as well, and one with Glen and Doyle, and it is. It's not the absence of fear, it's the willingness to act in the face of fear. Yes, right. So get clear when we tell you to be courageous, it's not. There are just no fears Like you're going to take action while you're afraid.

Speaker 2 2:35

Well, and don't only be courageous when it feels like I can do it. Yeah, Be courageous when you're like I don't think.

Speaker 1 2:42

I can do it. Yeah, i don't know if I can do this.

Speaker 2 2:44

Then you got to be courageous and do it anyway. That's it.

Speaker 1 2:47

So courage is one virtue that you really need to live in this, to be in this energy. And then self compassion, which I love the gentle and kindness with ourselves as we push beyond our comfort zone. You got to give yourself that compassion so that you can show up with courage. If you don't have self compassion. It's going to be really hard to maintain that courage.

Speaker 2 3:08

For sure, right? Yeah, my therapist says you, i know that this is hard, but you can do hard things. Yes, you've done lots of hard things. Yes, and always I'm like, okay, you're right, i have done lots of hard things. Like lots of harder things than this Way harder, i totally can do it. Like it's just that reminder that, like girl, you I know it's hard, but you can do it. You got this.

Speaker 1 3:29

Yeah, this is going to be a beautiful little episode on that finding the edges of your comfort zone. Yeah, and Is there anything else you want to start with, because I don't always want to just dive into my research?

Speaker 2 3:43

You're so funny, I always. I just feel like this is really going to pair nicely, if you will, with the power of play. Because it's so much like when you're in that and you're in the power of play with your younger self or you're someone young that's kind of inspiring you to do this project, if you will.

Speaker 2 4:03

It's all about pushing your boundaries and doing things that are hard and facing the fear and all of that. So I feel like it's very connected. So they're going to bounce off of each other nicely, it's a great idea.

Speaker 1 4:14

Bring some of that energy. We can pull some of that in as we go through this right. So I was thinking about this episode and in so many different ways, and then I came up with this analogy that I think helps clearly identify what it looks like and maybe some ways we can get through. Right, are you ready? I'm ready, hit me. She never knows where the hell I'm going. Wait till the next episode, because I went like whoo, cuckoo Town, cuckoo Town.

Speaker 2 4:43

I love that. I'm like hit me, let's do it. Ok, i'm always game. You know that. Yes, you are, and I love that about you. I love that about you.

Speaker 1 4:53

So we're going to be using the metaphor of an island. So your life is an island, The life you're living now. So you're on an island And on that island you have everything you need. You have the necessities, right. You have safety, security, whatever. You might not have all your dreams on that island, right? Of course? yep, But it's your current state, your life. You can survive there, you can survive.

Speaker 1 5:16

OK, and way out in the distance, you see the ship right, and the ship is the thing that's going to take you to that future life, right?

Speaker 2 5:28

It's the rescue ship.

Speaker 1 5:29

It's going to get you off of this island, this comfort zone that you have lived in, yep, and it's going to take you to this future beautiful life you're imagining for yourself, whatever that is. You want to be a life coach. You want to be I don't know. You want to be an entrepreneur. You want to travel the world, like whatever this life is you're imagining. Right, yes, that ship's going to take you there. Ok, between you and that ship, you've got this ocean, this water. It's looking a little choppy, a little scary right.

Speaker 2 5:54

Yes yep.

Speaker 1 5:57

So you're on the island, you have the ship, and then you have this water between you and the ship, the unknown.

Speaker 1 6:02

Yes, that's where the fear sets in right Big time. So, with the water being the only thing that's standing in your way inside the island, is familiar, safe, predictable, yep. So imagine your life today. You're like yep, i get up every morning, i go to work, i come home, i do this Like it's Groundhog's fucking day. Ok, yep, but it's safe, it's predictable, you know what's going to happen. You know the end of that story right.

Speaker 2 6:25

Yeah, there's not a lot of risk because you know you've lived it several days before Exactly.

Speaker 1 6:31

So, ok, some people are OK with that. That's cool. Outside of the island is the unknown, the unsafe, the unpredictable, right. That's where the fear comes in. So just kind of getting you in that vibe. Now, as I was like imagining this scenario, i was thinking about the different types of people, that the different ways people get to the ship.

Speaker 2 6:52

Yes.

Speaker 1 6:54

So there's the people out there and resonate with this as I say it. There's the people out there who don't want to leave the island. That's what I was thinking.

Speaker 2 7:03

Yeah, there's plenty of people who go. This is what I want. Yes, i want safety, i want.

Speaker 1 7:08

I'm happy, i don't care if it's mundane.

Speaker 2 7:09

Yeah, i want to go to the ship. Yep, fucking bye.

Speaker 1 7:14

Yes, that's fine, exactly, and so likely. If you listen to this podcast, you're not that person, yeah. However, there are two versions of that person. There's the person who's like fucking island's great. Yeah, i got coconuts, i got whatever. My fam's here, i'm cool. Yep, i love this island. Like this island is great. Yes, i'm going to lay in the sun all day and just be on my fucking island. And then there's the people who are like, ooh, i could never get to that ship, so I'm just going to stay on the island. Yes, there's the fear right.

Speaker 2 7:41

What if I'm not meant for the ship? Yes. What if the ship's too big? Yes. What if the ship's too fast? What if the ship is too much? Yeah, maybe I'll just stay on my island, fuck it.

Speaker 1 7:50

Exactly. So. There's the fear version, and then there's the person who's like I love this And maybe this is your life to stay on your island. Maybe next life you're coming off the island, so I'll get it.

Speaker 2 7:59

I do feel like either way, as long as it's in authenticity. Do it. You authentically want to be on the island, do it Some days, i'm island girl. As long as you're authentically doing it. If it's out of fear, it's time to face the ocean.

Speaker 1 8:11

Exactly, this episode's for you. Yeah, so there's the people. Like I said, stay on the island, for whatever reason it is. You own that reason, ladies. There's the people, and this is me. They're going to build the raft.

Speaker 2 8:23

Yes, So, like I'm not fucking, that's where my mind is going.

Speaker 1 8:25

Yeah, i'm not swimming in that ocean. I'm going to get ready. It might take me three months to build my raft. It might take me five years to build my raft. I'm going to build the raft that's going to safely navigate me to my ship. Yes, is this you?

Speaker 2 8:37

Here's my question What's your raft made of? Yeah, What are the tools that you are using to build the raft right? I'm using, like, mindfulness. Yes, i'm using honesty, authenticity, playfulness, creativity, all of those things to go like okay, this is a really sturdy raft. I'm not just going, i'm not using the fuck it tree and grabbing, you know, a big like limb and going all right, let's hope I make it. I'm going. All right, i'm going to build this raft All of my tools are you know my mental tools that I'm using to put this raft together to get me to that ship And, like you said, take your time.

Speaker 1 9:21

Take your time And it's okay If you're any of these, it's okay. Yes, but like you're saying journal about it, you know, write down what are the tools you're building your raft with. Like what is that raft represent to you, is it? you know you're in a nine to five job and that's your money security and you want to be this future entrepreneur and that the raft is your job, and so you're like you're getting out there slowly, right, you're building it and you're just going to get out to that ship and then like cool, it's all good.

Speaker 1 9:46

Yeah, own, which version of these things you are right, yeah, so, but journal on it. Yes, i love that, and so you can just say That's what it does. Also, you know, maybe what could you do better to build your raft? Of course, you said you might not be meditating, you might not be journaling.

Speaker 2 9:59

Well, and maybe hypothetically, you can look at someone else building their raft and go, oh, that's a great idea. I'm going to Yes, that's, i should incorporate some of that Like you know, connect with your community on how they're building their raft Exactly.

Comfort Zone Navigation

Speaker 1 10:16

Build your raft. Then there's the next group. They're not building the raft, but they're going to wait in slowly. We're going to go into the shallow end, maybe step by step, kind of look around. It's the water cold, yep. How are the waves? Yes, it looked like out there, So they are truly dipping their toe in right.

Speaker 2 10:33

They're like it's something slimy touching my leg. Exactly What's going on here?

Speaker 1 10:36

Exactly So it's still a bit of a transition. Yes, It's a slower approach to getting to that future dream life right, yeah. But it's less about building the security of a raft. It's kind of like you're slowly, you're slowly waiting in. I feel like it's building the security in every step.

Speaker 2 10:53

Yeah, you get out a little bit and then you go now I got to make this secure, yeah, and you make sure I'm safe in this space. Okay, now I'll take one more step. Yeah, that's a little bit scary. Okay, now make this space safe And then like your little safe steps all the way. It's a longer journey, yeah, but you know I get it.

Speaker 1 11:10

Yeah, exactly. So take your time, if that's you, yeah Right. And then there's the last people who cannonball into the ocean. They cannonball in, they dive through and they're like I am, that's that ship has taken me places, man, and I got to get there now.

Speaker 2 11:27

Getting as fast as I can. I'm going out, yeah.

Speaker 1 11:30

And and their quick, you know, cannonball in may result in a little hypothermia, may result in you know some injuries. So again, nothing wrong with any of these. Yes, be aware of like the state it can put you in right.

Speaker 2 11:43

Yes, like the people building the raft.

Speaker 1 11:45

If you're, if you take too long to build that fucking raft, you're trying to make it too perfect You might never get there.

Speaker 2 11:49

Yes, so ship might be sailing by. You got to take a little risk. Yes, it can't all be perfect. Yes, no for sure, and I think they're, they can all be the right choice.

Speaker 1 12:00

Yeah. So really this episode is about like getting clear on which one am I in this, exploring the edges of my comfort zone? Am I waiting in? Am I building the raft? Am I just too afraid to even leave the island? Am I like cannonballing in?

Speaker 2 12:12

What am I doing?

Speaker 1 12:14

Get clear on that. But then I also wanted to present what happens when you're, when you go into the water, right The waves.

Speaker 2 12:20

Yeah, the waves are pushing you back. Yeah, right, and so.

Speaker 1 12:23

I saw the waves as we mentioned this book last season. It's the upper limit, gay Hendricks, and so it's called take the leap, yes, and so it talks about your upper limit problems, and so for me these, each wave is the upper limits. Right, you might have a specific upper limit, but so I'll just kind of list them really quickly so you can identify. But these are the things that, as you're going into that thing, you need to be aware of, because they're the waves that are going to try to push you back to shore. Yes, like you're going to battle these waves, yep, and until you get clear on them, right, and go with ease through, the waves you're going to be fighting them.

Speaker 2 12:59

Yes.

Speaker 1 12:59

So in his book he says you know, upper limit, the fear of unworthiness, so not deserving of success, happiness or love. Right, yeah, So do you feel unworthy of this? making it to that ship? Exactly? Yep, the fear of outshining others, which is a fear people have, of course. They worry they're going to achieve too much success, they're going to leave others in the dust. People are going to think they're superior. Yep, right, yep. The belief of scarcity. Ooh, Right.

Speaker 1 13:25

There's a limited amount of success and happiness, right. So this is a very common one. Yeah, your upper limit and you're just, it'll hold you back right The fear of disloyalty. So if you achieve too much success or happiness, it will betray the roots of your community, of your family or whatever. Yeah, This one's probably a harder one to like really reflect on. But do you have that, yeah, this comfort with feeling good?

Speaker 1 13:50

Oh, yeah, So yeah feeling comfortable with experiencing too much happiness. So if you're that person, you're like oh, things are going too good right now, something bad's going to happen. Yep, something shitty's coming. That's your wave.

Speaker 2 14:00

So savage Taking you back to shore, to your fucking island, right, yeah, yep, yeah.

Speaker 1 14:06

So Read that book first of all. It's amazing, life changing. But really identify what are those waves you need to like, like we said in the power of play, like you just gotta be ready for the waves. Be ready so that you know how to navigate through, how you can just be easeful.

Speaker 2 14:22

So what I'm thinking of is, if you ever I was a kid who we would go on vacations often to like I mean we lived in Oregon, we would go on vacations to California. We would go to the beach. My dad grew up in California, so it was like a great family place for us. And what I'm thinking of is these waves are hitting you and you're struggling, struggling, struggling, and once you can understand, i think, what that wave means and where it's you know why you have so much resistance to it, then you can navigate. For me it's going. I remember my dad teaching me when the wave comes, dive underneath it. Dive underneath it and the wave will roll right over you.

Speaker 2 15:00

You're not gonna wipe out. It's not gonna be. You're not gonna be flooded with seawater, you know. So when you can figure out what that wave, why it's pushing so hard, and you can work your way through it, you can just dive right under it. Wave gone, no biggie, i'm moving past.

Speaker 1 15:16

Yes, right, yes, and like timing, the waves too you know, right Timing for that dive under the wave, For sure, Everything is just. it's just a journey. you know You gotta figure it out, but you gotta get your toe in.

Speaker 2 15:30

Yes, you gotta get your toe in.

Speaker 1 15:32

So the other thing, as you're looking at this like sea of fear and things, unknown right, Maybe it's not fear. Maybe it's just unknown, you don't know what's gonna happen. If I want this future life, i'm on my island and I'm like, well, if I do this, who knows Like what could happen. Yeah, so it's again more journaling on. I like to think of it like the shallow end and this is why we're calling it the edge of your comfort zone.

Speaker 1 15:56

Right, because what is that shallow end to you If my dream is to become a public speaker on stages in front of thousands of people and doing these events and whatever? that is right. The edge of my comfort zone is a little bit less scary, right? That's like doing a podcast, yes, maybe doing like a mastermind with five people. Like, start to identify what is the shallow end of your future life. Like, how are you gonna wade in? And even with that raft, right, what's the edge? Yep, i want you in this episode, to get into the edge, just the edge. We're not asking you to fucking swim to the ship, we're asking you to put your toe in the water For sure. Try it, just try, yeah exactly Get your feet wet.

Speaker 2 16:46

I kind of waver on like what my ship means Because it's almost in stages of my life. What I want right now and what I want for retired me are different things. But getting to the ship, no matter what, is the important part. The whole point is to get there, because if I'm gonna hang behind I'm not gonna get to any of it. I'm not gonna get to now, i'm not gonna get to future, i'm not gonna get to retired, not gonna get to old lady Nicole, i'm not gonna get to that place where I feel like that's where my dream is, until I put my toe in the water. And I think it's really super, super important to identify which waves are coming at you. Yes, like I do have this fear of like, obviously. What if you can't do it?

Speaker 1 17:34

right.

Speaker 2 17:34

But then, as soon as things kind of start going good, there's a little bit of like self sabotage, a little bit of like you don't deserve to be happy, why, why would you be deserving?

Speaker 2 17:45

of this love and this happiness and this joy. Yeah, like working through the, it's okay to take your time and go. okay, i gotta figure out what this wave means before I dive under it. If I dive under it and I think it's passed over me and I'm not even thinking twice about it, it's gonna come smack me in the face again, like you're not ready for the next one. You gotta deal with which wave you're kind of processing before you move on to the next one. I do feel like it's important to notice when you are working on yourself and you're working on all of these things, you are gonna make it to that ship way faster than you thought you would. You're gonna be surprised at how quickly you're like holy shit, i'm here. Holy shit, i'm here. Like that's the feeling that you're gonna have when you take your time to process through honestly, authentically with yourself.

Speaker 1 18:28

Yeah, I love that. And you bring up another good point too. As I was brainstorming this episode, I was also thinking of the ship. Like maybe it's not the rescue ship that you're getting to, maybe it's the little dingy boat that's gonna take you to the rescue ship, So that can be the span of your lifetime. Like, are you looking five years out, 10 years out, 20 years out, like you could play a little bit with the metaphor and like the ship that you're trying to get to? Maybe you're not focused on that big giant gold yet And it's the little they call it a dingy, The call it a dingy right, i mean sure, yeah, the little life raft.

Speaker 1 19:01

The little life raft. yeah, Like maybe you're trying to get to that because that's gonna take you to the rescue ship. Like, play with it a little bit. It doesn't have to be the big dream.

Speaker 2 19:10

It's still yours, it's still your dream, it's still your ship, it's still your island. It's okay to make it totally uniquely you.

Speaker 1 19:19

That's what it's supposed to be. Yeah, and I was just thinking like it'd be fun also to do a little journaling on, like, what are you gonna bring with you from the island And what are you gonna leave there?

Speaker 2 19:30

Yes.

Speaker 1 19:31

You know, like what baggage and bullshit are you gonna leave on that island? Yeah, as you make your journey? Yep, that's really a deep reflection. Yeah, right, yes, absolutely Yeah. So leave some of that shit there, you don't need to take it all with you. No, some journal questions and then wrap Totally, feels good, feels good. So just some general, you know, journal questions. I think we kind of said a lot throughout here, so rewind, listen to it again. I'm not gonna say it all over again, but what activities do I engage in that feel comfortable and familiar?

Speaker 2 20:06

So start to this is your island. What do I?

Speaker 1 20:09

do that feels comfortable and familiar in my life.

Speaker 2 20:11

Well, and what are you doing that you're not enjoying, but doing anyway?

Speaker 1 20:14

What are you doing out of routine? You don't enjoy it. It's not bringing anything.

Speaker 2 20:19

It's not sparking you in any way, but you do it anyway, because you've always done it Exactly. What's that? Yes, because that's probably where you need to make your first change.

Speaker 1 20:28

Yes, then what do I tend to avoid or put off because it feels challenging or outside of my comfort zone? For sure, what do you keep putting off? What is that thing? Yeah, identify that. What beliefs or assumptions do I hold about myself or the world that keeps me in my comfort zone? Yes, So again these are some of the waves, things like well, you can't do that because the limiting beliefs coming in last season listen to it. Yeah, we touched on this, right. What are some benefits and drawbacks of staying within my comfort zone?

Speaker 2 21:06

I think it's important to note the benefits, though, Like what do you want to take with you? What are some things that you're like listen? I know maybe somebody else thinks it's boring but, i, really enjoyed this piece, so I'm going to continue to do this piece, even if other things in my life change. Yeah.

Speaker 1 21:20

Damn, do it. And last one how might my life be different if I were to step outside of my comfort zone and try something new. I love that. Just reflect on it. Be honest with yourself. Yes, You know, especially if you're that person who wants to get off the island, who's too afraid and probably thinks they never will. Yeah, these questions for you.

Get on Your Dingy and Explore

Speaker 2 21:41

Well, and I think, yeah, you can think about the way that your life will change and things you want to change, but I promise you there are ways that it's going to change that you did not expect. Yeah, there's so much joy in it, so much joy. Give yourself the opportunity to find out what's on the ship, yes, what's beyond the waves, what's off the island Yes, the island like I don't want to be.

Speaker 1 22:04

I don't want to stay on my island Forever. I don't think a lot of people who listen to our podcast want to stay on the island. I think they listen to this for a reason, so even if it's your little dingy.

Speaker 2 22:13

Totally, it sounds inappropriate Get on your dingy. Girl, get on your little dingy. It's okay, if you love your little dingy, get your dingy out All right.

Speaker 1 22:24

Well, thank you for joining us. We're yes, we're on our way to the ship.

Speaker 2 22:30

So join us.

Speaker 1 22:31

Let's go Get your ass in the water. Let's do it All right. Cheers, bitch, cheers.

Speaker 2 22:36

Bye. Thanks for coming to party with us. Please leave a review and connect with us on the socials.

Speaker 1 22:43

And remember you are the creator of your life story, So be the main character and enjoy your journey.